#ctfd

[harompe]

capitalism? no, you misheard me. i said "capybarism". it's about being a chill little guy who loves to hang out

[thedaddycomplex]

So... uh... to borrow a word from my bestselling book: What the fuck?

My book Calm The F*ck Down came out in 2015 (based on a post I published right here on Tumblr). This other book comes out this year. And the description of this new one sounds a lot like mine.

To be clear: There are other books that share the same (or similar) title as mine, but they're not humorous partially-autobiographical parenting books. I don't think this book plagiarizes mine — man, I hope it doesn't — but, the similarities test the bounds of coincidence.

I mean, sure, everything's derivative of something else. Hell, they pitched the idea for the movie Alien as “Jaws in space.” But, at least they changed the setting and the monster.

[madwomanthinkingoutloud]

Over the Hill

Having lived half a century, puts things into perspective. If you have lived a good life, you try to always be positive, not cynical or depressing. You are grateful to be alive and well. If you didn’t exercise, or eat healthy, you start doing so. You are happy with what you have, if not, you find your happiness. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. You can do and say whatever you want. You don’t have to tolerate anything you don’t want to. You are responsible for your actions/decisions/choices. You don’t have time for drama or spectacles. You don’t have patience for whining and selfishness. You don’t want to deal with children, teenagers or immature adults for extended periods of time. You pick and choose who you want to spend your valuable and limited time with. You surround yourself with positive, happy people, it's contagious. You treat others the way you want to be treated, with honesty and respect. You never compare yourself to others. You are important. You are special. You cherish every moment with friends and family, because it could be your last. You control only yourself, not even your adult children. You don't give unsolicited advice, only when asked. You don't criticize others, because you are not perfect. You try not to sweat the little things, because it's not that serious. You learn to take it easy and not take on more than you can handle, so you don’t get stressed out. Laughter, dancing, and sex are great stress relievers. You limit your personal/financial obligations. You plan ahead for the same reason. If you never were financially responsible, you start worrying about finances, and your upcoming retirement. You spend your money on what you want and is valuable to you. You never worry about what others have. You start thinking about a time when you don’t have the responsibility to get up and go to work every day. You walk and drive slower, because you’re not in a rush to get where you’re inevitably going. You enjoy every day like it’s your last!

[theimpar]

WOO, DOGEY! Well, well, well ... looks like we got ourselves some TEE SHIRTS. New section added to the site. Lookadese! LOOK TILL YOU PUKE. But don't buy them because they're laced with deadly toxins that take over your legs and make you constantly walk towards the nearest dead roadside animal and cartwheel in circles around it until the authorities pick you up and gently place you in jail for the rest of your life for cartwheel crimes. Click here to visit my shop!!! 

[firetruckoftheday]

Chatham Township Volunteer Fire Department Engine 11 by Triborough Via Flickr: 1988 Mack CF/Pierce

[fdny8231]

MARCH 2017 Fundraisers ... Come out and help us out ...

[harompe]

sometimes you really have to say "i can't help it that you hate me and i won't do anything about it and i won't care about it 😌💆‍♀️"

[thedaddycomplex]

Sie heißt „MEML“: Diese Erziehungsmethode könnte die beste der Welt sein

Was bekommen Eltern nicht alles für Ratschläge! Lies das Buch, hast du schon von DER Erziehungsmethode gehört? Was hältst du von dem und dem Experten?

Can any of you read German? This looks like a review of my book Calm The F*ck Down, the German version of which is called Stay Calm, Baby or something because I guess Germans don’t like the word fuck? But Google Translate makes it read like it was written by an epileptic chimp.