Would you do headcannons Cullens x reader and how they would react if you broke up with them as a prank?
Okay, honestly doing a full-fledged fic would be a LOT of brainpower, and today's a minimal spoon day (sorry I tried to do it in a day and I just couldn't lmfao), so I'm just gonna format this as a textpost with reader's breakup message and then how I think each Cullen would react.
I'll work on a part 2 with the Cullen women at some point, it may take me a bit though. But for now, here is how I think the Cullen men would react to you breaking up with them as a prank
gif cred
As you stand in front of your lover, you fight to push down the smile threatening to reveal your farce, instead trying to evoke tears to make your words believable. "I think we should break up," you say, a dramatic tear rolling down your face; trying to imagine it's real, more tears begin to fall as you continue, "I haven't been happy for a while now, and I don't want to hold you back. We can coordinate exchanging our things later, but right now I think I should just go." You stand there, tears streaming down your face, waiting for their response.
gif cred
Emmett:
He paused, thinking carefully over your words, a small smile formed on his face as he said, "I don't believe you. Nice tears, though!"
"How did you know??" You cried, not expecting him to see through you so easily.
His laughter boomed as he doubled over, holding his belly. His voice took on a mocking tone as he said, "I dOn'T wAnNa HoLd YoU bAcK," he stuck his tongue out at you, "you would never say something like that, plain and simple." He paused once more, "It's also April 1st," he said with a smile.
Edward:
"I knew a monster like me could never be loved," Edward said to you, tears running down his face rapidly.
You reached out to him, but he was gone in a flash, leaving you standing there, jaw dropped and stunned to silence.
Edward didn't return for a week and wouldn't talk about where he'd gone off to when he got back, only that after Alice had texted and called him countless times, he relented and came home.
You slowly walked up to Edward, your eyes filling with tears, "Oh, God, Edward," you said, rushing to his side and taking his hand, "it was just an April Fool's prank." You stroked his smooth cheek gently before continuing, "You know I love you, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you so much."
Edward met your eyes and spoke softly, "I deserve this pain, you're too good for a soulless demon like me."
gif cred
Carlisle:
Carlisle just stood there, unmoving for a few moments, as if he was unsure of what to say. When his eyes met yours, they were sad but set; his response came gently and level-headedly, "If that's your choice, who am I to stop you? Would you like anything before I take you home?"
You stood, unmoving for a moment, the sight of a single tear rolling down Carlisle's cheek broke your heart in two, and you couldn't help but confess to your facade. "I love you, it was a bad prank, I'm so sorry," you said, your words blurring together as you tried to get them out before the tears spilled out of your eyes.
"A prank?" Carlisle said in disbelief, "How could you be so cruel?" And in a flash, he left the room.
image cred yasmine_sahid on insta
Jasper:
Jasper just stood there, unmoving, the glaze over his eyes making it clear he was overwhelmed by the smell of your blood. His frame relaxed as you moved to the couch on the other side of the room. He took a measured breath before he responded, "I can tell you're lying." He met your eyes as he continued, "Why are you saying this?"
"It was just a prank, it's April 1st," you replied, ashamed of your actions. A wave of calm washed over you, no doubt caused by Jasper.
"I'll get you back for it later," he said with a small grin.
If you wanna read more of my stuff, check out my masterlist! Thanks for your time today, and feel free to drop an ask of your own. I take requests for more than just twilight haha, if I don't know the fandom, I'll let you know.
What's the most funny thing that you never did whit Esme? Have a nice day ;)
Hmm, I'm not sure if this was an error on the part of the question asker. The funniest things I've ever done with Esme are hard to quantify--what will make her laugh can be subjective. That said, every now and then the boys and I will dress in drag to make our wives laugh and that never fails to produce a few gales of laughter.
The funniest things I've *never* done with my wife...well a great many of my exploits with my sons would fall into that category, and I'll leave it at that to protect the guilty.
