Sep 17, 2020
There’s nothing quite like a Homeric epithet of commendation ‘of somewhat indefinite meaning.’
“Bright haired Menelaos, who was, we assume based on context, a generally stand up guy.”
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There’s nothing quite like a Homeric epithet of commendation ‘of somewhat indefinite meaning.’
“Bright haired Menelaos, who was, we assume based on context, a generally stand up guy.”
So happy I finally resorted to writing things down and now I feel immensely better about everything and I feel like I have an album name and a track list that tells a complete story 😭😭😭😭😭😭
Bringing back this fabulous photoshoot that I did with my angel @behindkieraslens a few years ago for Disability Pride Month.
I am a queer and disabled artist and very proud to be. I just did a performance and I’ve seen a call out for local artists at a festival in my town but even though I’d like to apply, it’s in 5 weeks and I don’t know that I can handle it physically. I’m living my 11 year olds dream of singing the songs I wrote but I have to respect the pace that I can realistically go at. What is meant for me will find me while I am taking good care of myself 💗🌈
Friday was so cute 💖
I had been feeling almost like I didn’t have it in me leading up to the performance, but I’m so pleased with how it all went!
Latest entry into the diary of a disabled performer.
I’ve just decided tonight that I will be sitting down for all of my songs instead of making myself stand for some of them cause I feel bad and want to make up for the sitting and feel pressured to ‘put on a good show’ in an internalised ableism way. I feel so relived. And I had also previously decided to perform on my spinny computer chair instead of my (very pretty and higher) wooden stool because I realised it made me too stiff, perching on the edge trying not to fall over.
I can’t believe I’m gonna be so comfy and feel and move at ease. I saw a quote on Pinterest that really helped me feel differently about performing too. @Zoeylytle on tiktok posted a quote from a choreographer at an audition that said ‘you have something to share, not something to prove’.
I felt like I got the wind knocked out of me. I was like OHHHH these people are here to witness my heart as I open it for them. I’ve always felt like I had to captain a ship when I performed and outwardly signal that everything is alright to everyone.
It’s interesting that I’ve been performing since I was so young, and in such a formal, reverent setting too. I think I have some old habits to break
I feel like there’s a pretty huge spectrum of musicians that fall under the umbrella of ‘independent artist’
Maybe “poor, disabled, producing art off the back of the good will of my family and friends that agree to help me, don’t earn much and what I do needs to be spent on treatments so that I can even continue to physically create and perform, can’t drive and don’t know what I’m doing” artist might be more appropriate
Sending scary emails is getting kinda fun
Me starting my career at 34: time is not running out, it’s never too late to start, everything is working out as it should
Entering the year I turn 36: oh god oh god oh god if it doesn’t all happen now it’ll never happen oh god oh god oh god