#cure hd

[hughatague]

They Will Dance They Will Dance ~ Hugh A Tague They will dance in the day’s light they will dance in public or alone…

[heypesi]

In 1965..

In 1965 Charlie Brown’s Christmas was released. In 1965  gas was 31 cents, the average new house cost $13,600, and a new car cost around $2,650. In 1965 Mary Poppins was released, The Beatles and The Rolling Stones were the most popular musicians, and Lyndon B. Johnson was the President of the USA. Along with all of that going on in 65′, my mom was born. Now, for the longest, I had no idea what I am about to tell you. I honestly did not know until right before we found out my mom had HD. My whole life, I never thought anything was out of the ordinary. My nana told me as I was older that she had miscarriages but never thought anything of it. I always wondered why there were no “new born” pictures of my mom around the house or in photo albums because my nana loves to put everything in photo albums.. even the first picture I colored and the first letter I mailed her lol. So in October of this year, I was on the phone with my nana and we were talking about my mom’s doctors appointment went and I told her how the doctor brought up Parkinson’s or HD. I told my nana it couldn’t be HD because it is genetic and I know for a fact her, my pap, my uncle, and their parents did not have HD. The phone was quiet for a few seconds and that was the moment my life changed. Like I said, I had noooooo clue this was ever a possibility, I never wondered why I didn’t really look like them or anything because my brother actually resembles my uncle. I never wondered this was something that my family went through and now will go through. My nana said “oh, didn’t your mom ever tell you? She was adopted…” I was shocked. I had no words, no emotion, no anything. All I could say was that I had to go. I was driving when she told me, thankfully I was almost home. I just remember everything being a blur and calling my best friend and boyfriend because I honestly could not believe what I was just told. I felt lied to, I felt betrayed, I felt alone, I felt like I knew nothing about who I was, I felt alone. I was upset because my mom knew and I never understood why she didn’t tell me. I talked to my dad not too long after and he told me he heard it before but my mom had never said anything to him, and that was her husband. I did not understand any of this. I didn’t understand what was happening. I didn’t understand what was going on in my mind. I eventually calmed down and asked my mom why she never told us.. she really did not have an answer which shook me more. I got in touch with my nana after a few days of calming down and just asked her every question that popped into my head. My mom was adopted in Washington County at Catholic Charities when she was 6 months old. Her adoption was closed so we have zero information on my mom’s case and because it was closed, she would never be able to get the information. At this point, my worry is to get my mom’s medical records or the records of her parents. My whole mood changed after the phone call because I am know realizing that HD may be a possibility. I was mad. I was seeing red. I was just worried because of my baby. If my mom tests positive, I could and if I do, my daughter could. As a mother, you always want to protect your children. You never want any harm to come to them. I just cried. I cried a lot. I felt so betrayed and alone that I needed to be alone. (at this point, we didn’t even know my mom was positive) A few weeks passed and my mom’s results came in she was positive. I was okay with the news, as okay as you can be learning your mom has this disease. My sister called me right after my mom got her results. I was supposed to be there but I had night class. I remember her calling me 15 times and texting. After I finally called her back, I could barely understand her. She said “Mommy has it! She has it..” I sat in my car and cried. I wasn’t mad, wasn’t angry, I was okay. Once things calmed down, I decided I wanted to do the Ancestry DNA test. I wanted to know what I was. Growing up, I was raised very Italian and Polish. I thought I was German because of my grandparents buttttttt who knew at that point. A few weeks after I sent the test out, I received the results at like 3 AM. I remember being super nervous to open the results and deciding if it was something I wanted to do. I slowly read down and my results were 46% Slovakian, 18% Irish, 15% Italian, and 12% British. (Head Scratch?!?!?!) I was really like “WTF?!?” Irish and British? HOW SWAY???? This was really a life changing moment. I grew on how to make pasta, pizza, red sauce, haluski, and stuffed cabbage.. now bangers and mash and fish and chips?! woah. I hit my boyfriend so hard yelling “IM IRISH!!!” his response.. “…okay? (Jay-Z voice)”. I was so happy to finally know who I kinda am and put a piece of my puzzle together. <3

[hughatague]

A Ladder of life

A Ladder of life

  A Ladder of life

by Hugh A Tague

All that you are and all that you aren’t.

Shadows of those who came before you destiny’s written yet remain unknown.

A double helix tablet etched in space with moon dust seasoned in starlight.

Each strand yours and yours alone a most exclusive gift from infinite expanse.

A ladder of fate. A ladder of life.

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[kadtcobain]

I've been up all night with so much on my mind

I never thought at 22 id be deciding if my Daddy should have an open or closed casket....what flowers should be with him. Why this man? He was the most amazing person ever and not one person disliked him. So why was he cursed with this shitty disease left to just die. All I can think is about how in a few hours I'll be going back to Iowa for my daddy's funeral.