Arms, legs, gut, face. All of the things you love but I hate
Jacobâs hands were gentle as they trailed up and down the others back he didnât realise someone could hate their body so much. He leaned froward and laid against the others back caressing all the skin he could reach, Nick was soft, he had a bit of muscle but not to much. Jacob thought he was beautiful but no matter how many times he caressed the other and told him he was beautiful, Nick ran from it and hid until he came up with a decent excuse to why he ran in the first place.
âI think youâre beautifulâ he whispered into the others hair, Nickâs soft breathing filled the room leaving Jacob to curl into him.
He couldn't see straight, not with the amount of alcohol in his system, Dylan was right next to him and Kaitlyn, it was how he coped after everything that happened. He hated himself for being so mad at Jacob because in reality it wasn't entirely his fault, Nick had no sort of internalised homophobia toward himself but when Jacob said that he couldn't help but see himself as gross in someway.
"What? Nick all of that was a bro thing, like helping your bro out. I'm not gay and neither are you."
The words made him cringe when he remembered the tone Jacob said them in, if he didn't like him back that was fine, all he had to do was say that but instead he went all out and said that. Dylan had gotten Ryan, Ryan had gotten Dylan, why was it so unfair for him? He took another drink, flinching at the sting of the liquid going down his throat "he's a dick. Nick, he wouldn't be him if he wasn't at least a little bit of a dick."
It didn't help, it just made Nick gravitate more towards the cup his fingers held so tightly.
Come on, come on, don't leave me like this, I thought I had you figured out
Nickâs hands scrambled to pick himself up off the ground and run toward the other âJacob! It was my fault!â He tried but apparently Jacob wasnât going to listen, the Aussie thought he figured out all of Jacobs silent signs but seemingly he had gotten one wrong. âJacob, Jacob please,â Nick tried running after the other but knew he was making no progress.
Jacob heaved, as he tried to wipe the blood off of his face to look for Nick, where was he? He spun around trying to find the Aussie but he couldnât see him, âRyan. Where the hell is Nick?â The taller boy paused as he looked toward the other âLaura shot him, you donât remember?â It was fuzzy, Jacob heard multiple gunshots in his head but he couldnât remember the specific one that killed Nick.
âShe fucking killed him?â
The coldness of the handcuffs made Jacobâs tears appear again, they poured down his cheeks and made him feel pathetic. He sobbed knowing what heâd do when this was all over, the only thing he could do, bury nick and do what he could to move on.
Relationship: Jacob Custos and Nick Furcillo (Custillo)
Timeline: Post-Quarry Events
Word Count: 1671
nick decides to show up unannounced to talk to jacob about that nightâbut not without an interruption.
another lil thing i wasnât planning to post, but itâs here now! i also reread this a million times so if anything is off, i probably lost my sanity trying to find it. post the quarry events. enjoyyy
jacob heard a few rhythmic taps on his bedroom window. he froze for a few seconds before slowly turning toward the window behind him. his heart almost dropped to his ass at the sight of nick behind the glass pane, his innocent smile made him feel at ease immediately after. he pushed himself off his bed, hissing at the jolt of pain in his right ankle, and went to his windowsill. the lock on the window released with a âclickâ and he clamped the top of the frame to push it upwards. nick giggled at the boyâs face of concentration wither away
âyou still wear hats in the house, eh?â
jacob rolled his eyes as he pushed himself off the sill. ânick. what are you doing at my window?â
nick played with the hems of his letterman jacket, looking off to the side as he muttered, âi donât know, i see it all the time in the movies.â
âwhat?â
âwhatâŠ?â
âjustâgo to the door, nick, please.â
âbut what if you hobble to the door and likeâtrip or something,â nick questioned with a hint of seriousness in his tone.
âand what if you eat shit climbing through my window?â
âi guess you donât know until you try?â
âyeah. okay. go ahead, loser.â
jacob backed up to sit at the foot of his bed and reached for his television remote, muting the audio. nick easily lifted his right then his left leg over the sill, ducking his head under the upper half of the window to get into the boyâs bedroom.
the taller boy sighed out with content, âskill!â
jacob felt a pang of joy in his chest after hearing the little remark. it was one of the things he himself said whenever he completed something he thought was âdifficultâ, maybe nick picked up on it during camp. he averted his eyes from the otherâs figure and focused on the silent tv. âyou are such a nerd,â jacob grumbled.
âi know you are, but what am i?â nick teased. he gestured to the window in a âshould i close itâ way and jacob just waved it off. nick walked over to a desk chair across from the bed and spun it toward his friend to sit in.
âdid you come here just to annoy me or do you need something? do your parents even know youâre here?â
âlittle jakey concerned about me? who wouldâve knew?â
ânick.â
âokay okay, no. i wanted to talk about⊠something. and youâre a really dry texter.â
âyou really want to be punched donât you?â
âno harm, no foul!â nick shrugged as he spun in the seat a couple times, waiting for a response.
jacob did not know what he could possibly want to talk about. does he know too? he didnât want to derail into a panic before nick even told him the reason why he wants to talk, although he couldnât stop the guilt eating at him in the back of his mind. he was hunched over with his elbows on his knees and fiddling with his fingers. he inhaled sharply, âwhat did you come here for?â
the taller boy cleared his throat and stared at the top of jacobâs cap.
âi couldnât really sleep because erm..no one has really, ya know, talked about what happened before everything. that night.â
jacob sighed out, âi really donât want to talk about it, please.â
âi just. i just wanted to say iâm sorry. for everything, including you know who. i reallyââ
a groan left the shorterâs mouth, âthat is literally the least of my concerns. i almost died multiple times all because i was crying over some stupid, stupid girl,â his voice faded out.
âwe all know how much she meant to you, i swear,â nick chewed his bottom lip anxiously. he also didnât want to talk about emma and jacob in general, considering how jealous he was of their relationship, but apologizing felt like the only way he could get over that. âyou know it was just a game though. it didnât mean anything. i was buzzed anyway and you⊠know.â he could tell he was making it awkward, at least he thought, but he heard sniffles and watched the latter hurriedly wipe tears from his eyes.
âiâm sorry iâm bad at this.â
âi swear if you apologize one more time,â jacob laughed weakly, staring into the palms of his hands. âyouâre not the one to blame anyway. all that was so stupid compared to what i, we, went through later. no point in apologizing.â
nick felt a pinch in his stomach. he doesnât remember much about their last night at hackettâs quarry. half of it he was tipsy and the other wasâŠunexplainable at the least. when he was found in the middle of the forest near dawn, he was taken into custody immediately. which was reasonable because he had blood all over him and a lack of wounds. ryan and laura were the only other two that werenât immediately taken into emergency care. when they were released, they went to the hospital nearby and on the way discussed what the fuck happened with nickâwhich was extremely baffling to him. so he could never understand what everyone else went through, but at least he could apologize for what he understood. he knows what he did before the night went downhill and anything to reassure jacob, at least a little bit, would make him feel better about himself ever so slightly.
âi know iâll never understand,â
jacob cut him off with a harsh tone, âstop. please. iâve heard that everyday since we left.â âiâm sorry,â nickâs voice faltered. when could he not mess up?
silence followed by soft sobs were coming from the boy in front of him, to which he stood from the desk chair and rushed to jacobâs side. he sat to the right of jacob and instinctively placed his hand on the otherâs back to console him. the urge to embrace him was strong, but maybe jacob didnât want to be hugged right now. their sides and knees were touching at least, to show that he is there. but nick had no idea what to say, he was horrible with verbal comfort.
the air was thick with silence, the only distraction being the overly cheery cartoon flashing on their profiles. nick felt the mattress dip and a head against his shoulder. he looked to his left and noticed jacobâs cries died back down to occasional stifles.
the boyâs hand came to a stop and rested on jacobâs upper arm, that he gave a hopeful squeeze. the circumstance was unfortunate, but the moment of vulnerability was refreshingâespecially with someone he wants to get closer to, even after everything. he never wanted to let go, until he did. they were both alarmed by the door being swung open by jacobâs mother. jacob jolted upward and whipped his head to the door, hitting nick in the forehead with the brim of his hat. there was a quick exchange of ouches and sorryâs before returning their attention to the woman in the door way.
his mother glanced between the two then to the open window behind them and furrowed her eyebrows. âyou werenât going to tell me we had a guest?â she folded her arms across her chest, staring at jacob with a curious look in her eyes that softened at the sight of the dried tears along his face.
âiâm sorry miss custos,â nick tried to stand but the shorter gently yanked the back of his jacket sleeve to sit back down.
âwe just wanted to talk for a bit and i didnât want to bother you or anything,â jacob stood up instead and walked over to his mom. she gestured she needed a moment alone with her son and closed the door behind them. nick sat patiently, drumming the pads of his fingers against his thighs as he trailed his eyes around the room. there werenât many decorations up other than a deteriorating poster and art-pieces from kids he counseled in which nick assumed were previous years or else jacob is indeed terrible at arts and crafts. his attention was turned towards the door as he heard it creak open. jacob was clearly flustered as he walked in and shut the door behind him, leaning his body against it. âmoms are so embarrassing,â he hinted at their conversation in the hallway. nick was unsure if he should crack a joke so he asked whether or not he should leave and if he was okay.
âif you try to leave through the front door, i think my mom will interrogate you.â
âshe seems like a lady i wouldnât want to mess with.â
âyou donât know the half of it.â
they sheepishly smiled at each other.
âthank you,â jacob said in a hushed manner, staring at the hardwood floor beneath him. âthanks for coming out here even though you didnât have to.â he pushed himself off his bedroom door and sat beside nick, a little farther this time.
âitâs the least i could do.â which wasnât a lie. originally he wanted to go after jacob when him and abi went separate ways into the woods, but his friends suggested otherwise. emma didnât seem all that happy being told to go after jacob instead either.
in all honesty, he probably wouldâve told him a secret heâd been holding on to a majority of the two months theyâd spent together as counselors. it was supposed to be their last day at the camp anyway. if he were rejected he would never have to see jacob again, but that chance has been gone.
âyouâre painfully nice, i hope you know that. other than you throwing my phone to me from, like, 50 feet above.â
âno way. at least you caught it! and it was like barely 10 feet over your head.â nick taunted, playfully nudging his shoulder into jacobâs.
