#cwitchy

[howlingday]

Yang: Hey, Ruby... 100 Huntsmen or 1 Alpha Beringel? Who wins?

Ruby: ...Yang. No one wins.

Yang: Ruby? Wait, what are you-

Ruby: You were there, too.

Yang: What?

Yang: (In active camo)

Ruby: (Active camo, Quietly) Shh... Hush now...

Yang: Ruby- Where- Where is everyone? (Hooting in the distance)

Ruby: YANG. SHUT. THE FUCK. U-

[jamezuse]

Would you please sign my petition?

[howlingday]

Winter: DON'T MOVE!

Jaune: (Freezes, Looks to Winter)

Jaune: (Doki doki!) Oh, of course, officer! How would you like me to freeze?

Jaune: (Lazy Jump Protag pose) Like this~?

Jaune: (Like one of your French boys pose) Like this~?

Jaune: (Head down, Ass Up, That's th- Pose) Or maybe like this~? Or this? Or that?

Winter: (Hears a click) SHOTS FIRED!

Jaune: Wait, what?!

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Winter: (Sheepish grin)

Ironwood: (Looks at wanted poster)

WANTED (Not in ice) ALIVE! (No ice)

Ironwood: ...You stupid.

Winter: 😟

[howlingday]

Taiyang: Alright, sweetie, it's time to log off.

Ruby: But Dad, I was about to share my opinion on the internet!

Taiyang: That's exactly why it's time to log off.

Ruby: Can I at least send an emoji?

Taiyang: You can send yourself to bed instead!

Ruby: Aw...

Taiyang: Trust me, sweetie; you'll thank me when you're older.

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15 Years Later...

Ruby: (World's Greatest Huntress, #1 Hero, Queen of the Hunt, Headmistress, Smiling) Thanks, Dad.

[howlingday]

Weiss: How likely are you to recommend Schnee Dust Company to a friend or colleague?

Jaune: Not at all likely.

Weiss: Please explain why you gave this score.

Jaune: I need you to understand that people don't have conversations where they randomly recommend dust providers to one another.

Ruby: (Holding "Will talk about SDC" sign, Wearing "Number 1 SDC Fan" shirt)

Ruby: (Sobs in bed, Holding SDC pamphlet)

[howlingday]

Tinder's Night

Cinder: (Leaning onto Tai)

Taiyang: (Looks to Cinder)

Cinder: (Bedroom eyes, Nods to bedroom)

Taiyang: (Deep breath, Nods)

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Ruby: (Wide awake, Hearing bed squeaks)

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Taiyang/Cinder: (Jumping on the bed)

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Ruby: (Covering her eyes, Hears groans, Everything shakes)

Cinder: (Muffled) Would- Would you slow down?! I can only take so much at once!

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Taiyang: Sorry, I just thought it would be better if I just shove it in all at once. This is kinda my first time in a long while doing this.

Cinder: (Holding her dislocated arm) Well, be gentle this time! I'm more sensitive than you'd think.

[howlingday]

Whitley: (Head of SDC, Enters Ilia's office)

Ilia: (Overworked, On the floor)

Whitley: (Picks her up, Sets her on chair)

PRIDE MONTH EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH:

Whitley: (Hangs LGBTQ+ flag, Checks stock)

SDC Profit: 0%

Whitley: (Swaps out flag)

SDC Profit: 99.99999999999999999%

[howlingday]

???: As a former associate of Weiss Schnee, I have seen the way she really acts outside what everyone else sees.

???: She is a woman who demands her partner to be awake before eight in the morning, even on weekends. She's awful!

???: How could we let such an evil woman become one of the most famous huntresses in Remnant?

???: Hey, Ruby! Nice voice modifier you have there!

???: ...

Ruby: (Voice mod off) Jaune, I swear to Ou