#da anon

[foxymoxynoona]

hey foxy

I know you’re resting (correctly) and in the recovery zone these days, but I just wanted to tell you that Sugar Fairy is a really fun re-read. I forgot how much I love your hybrid stories.

be well.

-da

This means so much to me anytime someone enjoys my work enough to read it AGAIN. I have very much wanted to write another hybrid story and have a couple of ideas 😎

[rainbowcarousels]

No need to apologize, a sudden essay was truly all I ever wanted 🥹 it does align quite perfectly doesn’t it? I mean sometimes it’s all about “reading between the lines” as Lestat once said, specially when it comes to characters who are not Lestat himself/the people closest to him at any given time or POV characters, and this is one of those instances where we’re given just enough to do that imo, it’s all there in the timelines like you said. “It just won't change the fact that he had a second chance to do it right this time with Daniel where he had failed before, to not be a blunt object seeking practical solutions and prove he can in fact take care of people without destroying them”, god this is so true, and I think it also ties back to him being a “failed experiment” in his maker’s eyes, and how he’d been conditioned in his mind (by fate, by circumstance) to repeat that pattern. Armand’s sense of identity in regards to who he is to Daniel is a huge thing too and I’ve always HC that at some point during their difficult years and then in their years apart, he probably rationalized it as him only being fit to be his lover but not his teacher in the blood (which of course represented yet another unforgivable failure).

“He's trying so hard in the modern age to make caregiver be a huge part of him and to be seen as someone who keeps his children safe and even if Daniel was safe at the time, I can't help but think it would bother him that his own firstborn had to be cared for by someone else and that maybe Lestat would be the only person he would really admit this to because he would be the one to understand it.” Yes! Reminds me of that great post by @monstersinthecosmos I think(!) that had me nodding along from start to finish where they mentioned (and I’m only paraphrasing lmao) how Trinity Gate, despite having being conceived as a safe place where people could all heal and come together as a family, also ends up being a place where Armand has to live up to a lot of expectations (the caretaker, the teacher, the protector), like he had to in the cult, and then the theater. And not only that but it would also serve as a constant reminder of how when it had mattered the most, with his own fledging, he was not able to do it. Lestat would totally understand Armand and never judge him for it, he’s “failed” in similar ways before and plays a similar role to Armand’s in the present (the only difference I think is the scale, Lestat has made more fledglings than one can count and Armand only has Daniel to dump all of his trauma on, bless) xoxo DA still sad asf but your meta is like chicken soup for the soul ❤️‍🩹

Absolutely all of this!! Lestat is not omnicient, even if sometimes it feels like he is and you have to remember you're a person removed from his stories.

Oooh yeah actually that is an excellent point, it makes it a little bit worse that it's Marius that takes care of Daniel and the whole idea of maybe Daniel would be considered a failed fledgling from Armand adds to the idea of him being a failed experiment himself. It's a generational trauma thing too, I think this is something Daniel is terrified of being seen as something Armand regrets and sees as a failure, but Armand trying to figure out who he is to people is such a big pattern in all of his identites and part of it definitely feels like it stems from feeling like he can't measure up to his previous self in the eyes of his own maker. Like he couldn't even get something that any back alley vampire made on a whim can do properly, that is a spiral waiting to happen even if it's not true.

Absolutely 100% agree that Armand could rationalise it that way, he does tend to seperate his identities and roles as a coping mechanism but I also think it's just another nail in the coffin of feeling like this is his failure. It would have been compounded by living with the day to day of Daniel when he was at his worst and probably wound have caused a knock on spiral which wouldn't have been fair to either of them, but it doesn't make it easier.

Trinity Gate, despite having being conceived as a safe place where people could all heal and come together as a family, also ends up being a place where Armand has to live up to a lot of expectations (the caretaker, the teacher, the protector), like he had to in the cult, and then the theater. And not only that but it would also serve as a constant reminder of how when it had mattered the most, with his own fledging, he was not able to do it.

This just punches me in the gut every time. I hadn't really thought about it in this context but you're right, the scale of it with Lestat and Armand being seen as community leaders in their own right really does echo each other and puts so much pressure on both of them to be more than themselves. They are roles and figureheads but that doesn't leave them with much space to explore their own traumas and identities in detail. Even in their own homes, it's not really about them.

Someone really needs to make a therapist for these folks, they really need to learn some ways to process what they're going through that isn't running away (Lestat) or trying to wear his reputation like armour to protect not only himself but his children (Armand). I think if you sat down and really interrogated why Armand feels the need to protect his own people so intensely, he's been losing them since he was a child and losing himself over and over at the same time and it's why I think it would bother him to have someone else do that for his child. It's become a part of how he sees himself so it shakes his very sense of identity and it wouldbe a fascinating thing to explore one day.

Thank you for soming in and letting me think about this stuff, I appreciate getting the chance to really look at it in detail!

[actor-mark]

The District Attorney abruptly slams her hand against the glass. "Hello! Hey, what's wrong? You look like you've seen a ghost..." She grins at her own joke . "I'm just kidding. How are you?" - Worth

Mark was currently in the middle of getting ready to head out, fixing up his hair at the mirror and then lifts a brow at the sudden thump at the glass.  “Hm? Oh it’s you. I see a ghost every time I look at my reflection it’s no big deal. Have you really resorted to trying to jump scare me now? I could try and rig up a tv on the opposite wall if you’re really that bored?” There’s almost a smirk behind his words

[jasmine-flowered]

Deaf anon, I just wanted to say that I didn't think I was offending you! I was responding to im-lmfao through you because I don't have an account haha. The thing is, in my ask I even say that it isn't only a Sean problem. It feels like some fans look for reasons to be offended and search for those opinions, so that even valid criticism (I gave a solution) gets shut down and that is unfair. Sean can be better and it isn't hate to say that. Thank you for responding and understanding my point!

Oops, misreading on my part. Thanks for correcting!

I agree. We can’t be going after every single YouTuber. We’d never sleep! And you accommodate for that in your ask.

I also agree that a professional captioner is a great idea. Hell, I'm sure a ton of us in the community would do it for free! But the system should be better than just letting anyone in, especially when people prove they cannot handle the maturity and responsibility of the job.

“Sean can be better and it isn’t hate to say that.” You are absolutely correct. 

Thanks for the ask, DA <3

[subloganrights]

The most forbidden of things: a soft, loving, committed relationship with soft I love yous and cuddles. -DA

unrealistic, blocked

[anotherloganstan]

Plz enjoy some nonsense from my human AU: -Roman is the assistant manager of a Forever 21. And everyone who works there loves him bc he protecc and attacc the dudes who catcall and harass them. -Dee and Virgil are childhood best friends. -Patton is attempting to become a teacher -Virgil works at an old-school fifties diner. The old ppl there love him and he’s always so happy to see them too -Virgil dropped out of college bc mental health. He’s trying to go back. More to come eventually. -DA

omg they all sound so freaking nice, and I’d die for Virgil already (I love that old people love him, they wanna protec and bant w/ the boi?)

[subloganrights]

EL. THE MINUTE YOU FINISH THE NEE VID I MUST KNOW. I HAVE A BAJILLION AND ONE NEW HC’S AND NEED SOMEONE ELSE TO SCREME WITH ABT THIS AHHHHH (take ur time tho. No rush. It’s a doozy. :3) -DA

oop I finished it at like 1am last night so come yell at me

[jasmine-flowered]

Ok, I'm the anon with deafness who was on blue's blog. I don't have tumblr (deleted it) so I can't reply to im-lmfao, but I wanted to respond in some way. If you read my ask, I said it isn't a Sean exclusive issue, but I do see it more with him than others (e.g. Mark). I notice because I depend on captions. I'm sorry to have offended you with my disability but it's a problem for me. What would be the drawback of Sean (+ others) just...hiring someone to help? Why is this worth arguing over?

Hello! It’s nice to meet you, first of all.

Second of all, you have not offended me. It’s unfortunate that I’ve come across that way, so I want to be clear when I say that you are 100% in the right asking for simple things like captions to be legible (and do their one job they were meant to do). I don’t believe I countered that at all.

It’s no secret I disagree with how Blue runs their blog at times. Because of that, when I see blogs calling all discourse blogs out and saying that we are ALL bad, it frustrates me. I wasn’t sure what that blog was referring to, so I didn’t realize that they were talking about an ask you must have sent Blue. I’ll read that now.

--

After reading the ask and Blue’s comments, I do agree with what you were talking about. I responded to im-lmfao without checking what they were responding to, and that’s on me.

However, if you’ll notice what I said, I said that the captions were an issue with a lot of YouTubers. However, most of us are Sean-oriented, meaning that we’re not focusing on the other YouTubers like Mark. I was agreeing with you, flower! I  understood im-lmfao to be referring to more than just that one ask, so I responded in kind.

Finally, I just want to say that I’m thankful for you reaching out. Please send me another ask if you have more to say, I’d genuinely really love to hear from you c: Much love to you!

~Jasmine