the unknown remedy | t. bordeleau
au masterlist
part four. <- prev part
summary: thomas shuts himself off from everyone for a couple days, resulting in a surprise from you and his friends. you find out one of his secrets and he gets vulnerable, leading you to reassure him that everything'll be okay.
contains/tw: smoking, heightened feelings/anxiety, bren being kinda irritating, thom being a sad boy, vulnerable thom, light mentions of abuse.
pairing: dbf(dad's best friend)!thom x reader
word count: 2.8k
note: i know this took probably over a month so i'll be surprised if anyone's still invested. its bit different from the dbf!thom we know and love but he's got feelings too and i wanted to show them :) hope you guys like it <3 and remember to send me an ask or comment or message me if u wanna be added to the daddy issues taglist !!
six days.
it's been six days since you and thomas last saw each other. you thought he was avoiding you, partly because the morning after you slammed the door in his face you were greeted by a tide pen sitting on the floor right outside your bedroom.
his intentions weren't to make it seem like he was ignoring you but clearly your brain had other plans. you spent the next couple days with heightened anxiety whenever any of your dad's friends came over out of fear of facing him.
you got to know a lot of them pretty well, actually, and you'd even noticed a slight change in your dad's behaviour. he was.. happier. it was a good look on him. spending time with his friends really seemed to change him for the better and you wondered why they hadn't been around throughout your childhood. why did he only find it important for them to come around when thomas moved back?
you tried not to think too much about it, it wasn't very important anyway. you wondered where he's been but kept those thoughts to yourself knowing you'd see him eventually and you'd get the chance to apologize.. if you gained the courage to do do.
and thomas, well, he wasn't having the best time of his life per se. things had been great the first couple of weeks but with a hectic schedule and a busy mind, he found himself crumbling. he felt like he was the base of a mountain carrying the weight of the world on his back.
"i haven't seen bordy in a long time."
your head peaked up at ethan's words, carefully eyeing the bunch who began to share questioning glances.
"... i haven't seen him since like, last week. i don't even think i've heard from him since then," nick realized and you held back a frown. how had you been the one to notice his disappearance before they had? it was the one thought that ached to leave your mind.
"i've been texting him," your dad spoke up and you smiled. of course he'd been.
"he's really stressed. he's got lots going on right now and he doesn't know how to handle it by himself but he refuses to ask for help," he explained with a small scoff at the end. "stubborn son of a bi— uhh, bickle."
you rolled your eyes at his pathetic save, as if you didn't cuss when he wasn't around. the group began pondering upon all the reasons why thomas had been distant, seemingly forgetting the fact that your dad directly told them he was stressed.
it seemed as though this was unlike him no matter how heavy his heart felt. you felt guilty listening to their conversation, obviously his business was probably something he didn't want you knowing.
"why don't we go check on him later?" mackie suggested as he took a sip of his water. "bring some food and have dinner, maybe. who knows if he's been taking care of himself.."
you felt a nauseous pit in your stomach at the thought of how poorly he may have been doing. had he even been able to get out of bed? brush his teeth, remember to drink water? you were frozen in your seat as your mind ran in circles.
"yeah, that sounds like a good idea," your dad agreed. "i guess we'll leave when hunter gets home. he should be back in a bit."
--
the hood on thomas' head softly brushed against his cheek as he turned towards the sound, tickling his skin. he lightly chuckled to himself when he spotted an innocent squirrel running across the street.
with every inhale of the poison between his fingers, remedy filled his lungs. he sat under the tree outside his house, looking upon the empty road scattered with cars and potholes that the city never seemed to fix—he remembered them from when he was young.
with a rapid heartbeat, smoke fell from his lips and found haven in the cold air of the night, a sight so sore for even his eyes. he hated when he did this, when he resorted to the one thing he told himself he'd never fall victim to.
he watched along as rain began to fall from the clouds above, painful memories causing him to take another puff to ease his mind. it was hard. it was hard to live in michigan without the girl he'd planned a life with.
it was stupid, he knew that. he was never one to be hung up on a girl, especially one he'd left nearly a year ago but the bruises were still fresh in his heart. they were raw, a burning red, and they ached like their motive was to torture him.
he still had the scars scattered upon his body, the words ingrained in his head, the sights tattooed on his eyes. sometimes they became too much.
he was a man with a broken heart, one he didn't think deserved to be fixed. but that couldn't be further from the truth, yet he failed to see it. all he saw were the dark blue days he blindly mistook for a loving red.
his fingers planted on the grass beside him as he lifted himself up, crushing the cigarette beneath his feet before he bent down to pick it up. a few specs of dirt got caught in the grooves of his fingertips, even under his nails a bit. he cringed, flexing his joints at the irking feeling. it was an unhealthy habit and he felt guilty as he disposed of the evidence before walking back into his house.
his first order of business was to get rid of the smell tainting his nose. a shower was due.
the towel hung loosely around his hips as he stepped out of his bathroom, steam following behind him and into his bedroom. he shook his head a bit, droplets of water flying around before he ran a hand through his hair.
a knock on his front door caused him to stop as he pulled his pants up. he thought he was hearing things, giving it a moment before a louder sound filled his ears. he furrowed his eyebrows, unbothered to cover his upper half as he was now distracted by the persistent knocking.
"give me a fucking second," he mumbled to himself, a hand on the railing as he jogged down the stairs.
he twisted the knob and a bittersweet feeling flooded his gut as the breeze clung to his warmth. familiar faces holding bags in each of their hands, all with smiles on their faces is what he was greeted by—and somehow he mustered one after days of feeling numb.
"w-what are you guys doing here?" he asked, feeling a sense of relief.
"we missed you," brendan shrugged as though he should have known. "now, are you gonna let us in orrr.."
"yeah— yeah, c'mon in," he was speechless, really. as he stepped to the side to let all his friends in, an overwhelming amount of emotions flooded his body.
it felt like a stream of minions walking into a room as they kept piling in. finally looking out the door to see if anyone was left, he was face to face with a much smaller figure. you looked at him with your doe eyes, fiddling with your necklace as you felt your heart beating in your head.
you were trying to hide the ice in your veins as his gaze didn't leave you. he saw the goosebumps on your skin and bit the inside of his cheek, encased with worry.
he was quite surprised to see you. if he was being truthful, he barely thought about you since the day he dropped off the tide pen. he'd been so preoccupied that he didn't have even a minute to think about anything that didn't cause him stress.
he noticed the pen in your hand as you remained stuck in your place, like your feet were glued to the ground. the bruise on your face had faded, which he was glad to see as he cleared his throat.
"you can come in," he told you softly. "i'm not gonna eat you."
you bit your lip and gave him a breathy little smile as you looked the other way in nervousness. he didn't know how you were feeling but he could tell it wasn't good.
you were flustered. beads of water rolled down from his hair and onto the exposed skin of his chest. his skin was still a bit red from the hot shower he'd just taken, but the place your mind took you was far from that innocent act.
"are you alright?" he asked, concern laced in his voice.
"mhm," you nodded, rolling on the balls of your feet. you stood under the covered part of his porch, a little wet yourself as you'd been pelted by the rain when you were standing behind the large group of boys.
"you're dripping, c'mon, come inside," he finally demanded with a light hold on your arm, pulling you into the house. he closed the door behind him and sighed.
he realized as soon as he saw you that you weren't in any mood to speak. hell, he didn't even think you wanted to be here. but as your dad's best friend it was his responsibility to get you to warm up seeing as you'd come to visit him.
"do you want something new to wear? who let you go out like that? it's raining and you're dressed in a t-shirt," he wondered, your teeth beginning to chatter as you wrapped your arms around yourself.
you were standing out there pretending not to be cold and he knew it.
"well i-i didn't know it was raining," your voice shook. "my dad told me i should be fine."
now he remembered why he'd been so worried about you before. he sighed once more, grabbing your hand and leading you into the kitchen where everyone else was. you felt bile rising in your throat, swallowing it down as thomas approached your dad.
"is it okay if i give her something warm to wear? she's shivering, bren, look at her," he asked almost tiredly, something in his mind resembling alarms beginning to blare.
"yeah, go ahead. y/n, you should have worn something warmer," brendan scolded after replying to thomas.
you frowned. "but you told me i'd be fine."
"you know yourself better than i do, you should have known. now you're going to have to wear something of thom's, don't you—"
"okay, bren chill out," thomas grabbed his shoulder with his free hand, the other still attached to you. "take a breath, now's not the time to get riled up, alright?"
brendan looked at him then you before going back to setting up dinner. "just be quick, we're almost done here."
without another word, thomas led you up to his bedroom. his touch was gentle, so careful that it made you feel fuzzy. your stomach fluttered as you looked down at your clasped hands.
his bedroom was simple, unlike you would have imagined. well, you hadn't really ever imagined it but if you had, this wasn't what it would have looked like. there was almost zero essence of personality within the four walls claiming to be his, but you assumed it was because he was still getting settled in his new home.
"do you wanna sit?" he asked, letting go of you to hand you the hoodie that was on his bed. hesitantly, you grabbed it between your fingers.
"aren't we just going back down?" you asked quietly, looking down at the item in your hands.
"well i thought," he let out a breath. "i thought maybe we could just chill up here for a minute. i need a breath, you know? and i thought maybe you would too."
"oh," was all you were able to say. your eyes met his, emotionless as you felt dazed for a couple moments.
you didn't make a sound as you walked past him and to the foot of his bed, taking a seat on the soft mattress. you held back a gasp at how bouncy and fluffy it was, simply smiling to yourself instead before placing the tide pen down.
thomas, relieved you made yourself comfortable, used the moment to grab a shirt. you turned at the worst second, watching as the muscles of his back flexed while he pulled the shirt onto his body. your eyes widened, heart skipping a beat as you quickly looked away and decided to pull his hoodie over your head to distract you. it was too late. the image of the grooves on his back would be fixed in your mind for god knows how long.
the marks on his body intrigued you more than anything else. somehow you hadn't noticed them the last time you saw him, but they weren't fresh. you didn't remember hearing anyone talk about them either. they were probably just from hockey so that might have been why no one was concerned—that was what you told yourself so you wouldn't get in over your head with all the endless possibilities.
you shoved your arms into the hoodie as your head got trapped in the fabric and a pungent scent hit your nose, causing you to make a sound. you quickly brought your head up and took a deep breath while wiping your hair away from your face. you nearly gagged.
"what the heck?!" you exclaimed, every ounce of anxiety or nerves from before completely washing away. "what's that smell?"
you sniffed as thomas walked up to you, his face turning pale. his heart sunk to his stomach while you missed the expression in his eyes, trying to identify the scent. it was then that he realized that he'd given you his hoodie from earlier, when he'd been smoking outside.
"is that.. smoke?" you finally looked at him and noticed his agony. "you smoke?"
"look, i-i know it's gross and i know it's bad but," he fumbled with his words. "please don't tell anyone. i only do it sometimes, when i'm stressed or anxious or, i don't know. sometimes i just need it and i can't stop myself, i—"
"thomas, it's okay," you cut him off, standing up as he ran his hands over his face with a bitter chuckle.
"no, it's not. it's really not," he shook his head. "and don't tell me it is because you're going to go down there and tell them, and i've been trying my best to hide this from everyone for so long—"
"you're rambling, stop," you stopped him again, boldly placing your hands on his neck.
he was forced to look at you as you tilted his head, your thumbs running soft circles along his jawline to calm him down. his eyes softened and he found himself at a loss for words for the second time that night.
how he left himself go like that, he didn't know, and quite frankly he was embarrassed. guilty, even, for speaking like that to you. and your delicate touch only made him feel worse.
"i'm sorry," he whispered, unable to say anything else.
"hey, it's okay. i didn't say anything bad, did i?"
he shook his head, swallowing the lump in his throat. he looked down at his feet and closed his eyes, wondering how he got himself in this mess. how he was here, with you, and you were the one trying to console him when he knew it should be the other way around.
"i won't tell anyone if you don't want them to know, okay? it's not my place or my business to tell them. i'm sorry that i scared you but i promise your secret's safe with me," you spoke slowly, trying to make him understand.
"i just," he glanced up at the ceiling, foot tapping with anxiety. "it's embarrassing, you know?"
"it's not. i mean, yeah, it isn't the most healthy habit but it's nothing to be so ashamed of. you're okay, i promise."
his glossy eyes met yours and he nodded again, holding back a frown when your hands fell from his skin.
"and um, i'm sorry about.. about slamming my door in your face," you apologized sheepishly, thinking he might find it humorous. he did, which was a good sign as he smiled, a real chuckle leaving his lips this time.
"didn't take it to heart," he told you. "and thank you for.. for dealing with whatever just happened to me. i— i don't know how i let that happen but.."
"you don't need to explain yourself," you shook your head. "and you don't need to thank me, either. i'll always be here for anything you need."
"thanks," he replied in thought. how brendan raised such a sweet daughter, he'd never know. "and i'll always be here for you, that's a promise."
--
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