summary; you two never have time together, so when the kids spend all day at a party with Joe's cast mates and fall asleep in the car, you're practically running to the bed
wc; 1.1k
warnings; mdni, smut, unprotected p in v (don't do it), oral (f! receiving), fingering, size difference?, size kink?, overstim, creampie, breeding kink, not proofread, porn with plot
notes; this sucked booty butt balls but I hope you enjoy<3
based on this ask
masterlist
you loved the way you're life was turning out. you had two beautiful daughters, lacy, who was three, and lizzie who was one, an amazing husband, and an amazing job. and joe loves his girls.
but with him being an actor and musician, and you being an interior designer, you never have much time alone. and since you never have time alone, you and joe never have time for sex anymore.
usually, you two just plop in bed and cuddle cause you're too exhausted to do anything other than fall asleep in each others arms.
-
you stir awake, looking up at your beautiful husband who is already awake. he smiles and presses a kiss to your forehead.
"morning baby, sleep good?" his voice is raspy from sleep and you're already wet. you hum and scoot up, pressing a kiss to his lips. he kisses you back, rolling on top of you.
his hands slide under your shirt and clutch your breasts. you let out a soft moan into his mouth and grind up against him.
the sound of small footsteps pattering on the ground fills the air followed by two soft tap tap sounds on the door. you sigh and joe rolls off you, walking over to the door.
he opens it and a lacy runs in climbing onto the bed. she crawls over and nuzzles up against you. you smile and kiss her head. you look at Joe whos watching with a look of love and slight disappointment mirroring your own.
"alright, c'mon honey, lets get up and get some breakfast and get ready so we can go over to auntie mayas okay?" you murmur and she jumps up squealing and running downstairs.
"I can never get you alone, can I?" joe asks as you walk to the door. you smile up at him and he leans down to press a gentle kiss to your lips before following you downstairs to make breakfast
-
you're greeted at the door by maya, who immediately grabs lizzie and lacy and walks in while you and joe follow. sadie, millie and natalia are sat on the ground in the living room.
maya walks over to them with the two little girls. charlie, finn, noah, caleb and gaten are sat on the couches. joe walks over and sits by them while you walk over to sit by the girls.
you chat with the girls as they play with lacy and Lizzie, spending most the day just talking.
-
you two say goodbye to everyone as you head out around 8, lizzie already asleep in your arms and lacy dozing off in joe's arms. you place Lizzie in her car seat, bucking her in while joe does the same with lacy.
you close the door and hop in the passengers seat. Joe slides into the drivers seat and starts the car. his hand rests on your thigh while the other on the steering wheel.
the car ride home is calm and quiet, only filled with the faint sounds of the radio and the girls snoring.
you pull up to your house and grab the girls carrying them up to their room. you tuck them in bed and kiss their heads goodnight.
you barely make it out of the girls bedroom before joe has you over his shoulder hurrying to your bedroom. he kicks the door shut and tosses you on the bed, quickly climbing on you.
"finally have you to myself" he murmurs, kissing you deeply. you run your fingers through his hair as you kiss him back.
his hands move quick to pull off your top and unclip your bra, groaning at the sight. his lips immediately wrap around your nipple, a whimper slipping from your lips.
he slides your pants and underwear off in one go, kissing down your body. he spreads your legs and kisses your thighs.
"so wet for me baby, this pussy need me that bad?" he spreads your folds with his fingers placing a faint kiss on your clit. you nod vigorously, bucking you hips.
he chuckles and licks a long strip up your pussy before pulling your sensitive nub in between his lips and sucking on it.
“fuck-joe-“ you whimper and grip his hair as he devours you like a man starved. he technically was since it had been weeks since he had eaten you out.
you whine as he slips two fingers inside you pumping them in and out. your orgasm hits you and you bite back a loud moan as you cum all over his mouth.
he laps you up and moves back up your body. "tastes so good, ma. you're so noisy too" he teases. you whine and tug his belt.
"uh-uh, let me hear how much you need it" he tsks. you pout "please, I need you so bad. need it so much"
"that's better" he hums and leans down to kiss you softly as he unbuckles his belt and slides his jeans and boxers down in one go, his long thick cock springing out.
hr rubs the tip along your folds before slowly pushing in "so tight. pussy sucking me in baby" he groans as he thrusts in all the way making you yelp
"don't be loud baby, wouldn't want to wake up the girls would we?" he taunts as he starts to pound into you. you shake your head biting back whimpers but they keep slipping out.
he picks up the pace, drilling his cock into you hitting that special spot over and over "so loud and needy, clenching around me, hah-" he groans. as he slides his thumb down to circle your sensitive clit.
he never falters as you cum again, and again, mewling and clawing at his back. “too much-oh! fvck joe ngh-“
“shh, you can take it. keep quiet so that you don’t wake up the girls” he coos and pulls your legs over his shoulders, hitting even deeper
"gonna cum inside you. gonna make another baby in ya." he grunts and his cock bullies your poor sensitive pussy. you sob and tremble, his words triggering yet another orgasm.
as your walls clench around him, he thrusts a few more times before burying himself deep inside you and shooting ropes of cum in your cunt.
your legs tremble as he pants. he strokes your hair and kisses your head. he rolls next to you, not pulling out and tugging you into his chest. you nuzzle into him and fall asleep in barely any time.
he smiles and pecks your head once more.
a/n; sorry this was so bad :( i hope it was good enough, please send more requests!!
Summary : A bad news ruins all your hope to build a family one day. But I guess, miracles can happen ?
Warnings : infertility; lots of crying; reader feeling guilty; angst ?; reader’s insecure; mention of sex; FLUFF; no use of y/n; (tell me if i missed some !!); possible grammatical errors
Lillie talks : Joe saying that he wants a family really inspired me for this one !! This is the longest fic i’ve ever wrote but I loved writing it so much and I apologise if i hurt one of you with this ! 💕
English is NOT my first language, sorry if i wrote wrong !! c:
When your gynecologist first told you that you were infertile your entire world fell apart. It was like everything you’d done in these past years would be for nothing. Your husband, Joe, and you worked hard every day just in the hope to start a family one day, just to be sure that you’ll always be financially stable for your kids to grow up healthy. This was all you cared about in your life, your only goal.
You’ll always remember that day, you were sitting in the doctor’s office, your legs were trembling lightly, because somehow you’re always stressed during a medical appointment and imagine the worst things that could happen in your head.
When the doctor entered the office with few papers in her hand, she had that same neutral expression she always wore, a professional one. But this time it felt different and you immediately felt it when she closed the door. The way her smile was slightly different from the usual. She sat down on her chair, swallowing hard and licking her lips before speaking.
“So,” she took a deep breath, “I don’t see anything different from the last few times we saw each other, and-”
You immediately cut her off because you didn’t really cared about what she had to say, you knew you were healthy and had no problem with your body. “Can we skip directly to what’s wrong ?” You said when your legs started to tremble a little more.
She paused and looked at you for a moment, not really sure how she was supposed to tell you this ‘cause she knew. She knew about your dream to become a mother one day and it broke her heart to announce you that, because you looked so excited about becoming one. So she took another deep breath and swallowed again.
“You’re infertile.” Simple, yet completely gut wrenching. At this moment you felt something in your chest, something really hurtful, something you’d never experienced before. It was like your literal heart had fallen to the floor and you weren’t sure if you were strong enough to pick it up back.
You couldn’t even remember what she said next, you simply looked right into her eyes, nodded slowly and replayed her words a thousand times in your head, while she kept talking and explaining things you didn’t care about. Because this one word was enough for you and you couldn’t hear more.
What were you supposed to tell Joe ? He was so excited about the idea of you two becoming a real family. You’d planned everything, their names, what you wanted them to look like, you told Joe that you wanted a little girl with his eyes and hair, and he told you that he didn’t care about the gender as long as they look just like you. The two kids you’d imagined were now just a forbidden dream.
“There’s still small chances for you to be pregnant, but it’s very rare.”
Small chances. Those two words gave you a little hope that maybe you’ll be part of those rare person who are able to have kids even with their disease. But still, small tears peaked at the corner of your eyes, what if you’re not part of these rare person, what if you really won’t be able to realize Joe’s dreams.
When you reached your car the salty tears finally fell down your cheeks. You sat inside of it for almost 30 minutes, hands firm on the steering wheel while hundreds of tears flowed down your face. You kept thinking about Joe, about your future. About the ugly drawings that could have been stuck to the refrigerator, the little shoes in front of the house next to Joe’s big one, or the late-night feedings. Your medical folder sat on the passenger seat, you glanced toward it for a moment causing a small sob to leave your mouth.
Outside your car, people continued living, a mother pushing a stroller passed by. She looked happy, she smiled to her baby. A small laugh that contained no humour escaped your lips before you cried harder again. Guilt settled inside you like a stone, because it was your fault, it was your body’s fault. And because of you Joe won’t be able to have the kids he dreamt about so many times, you suddenly took away the future he wanted and deserved.
After thinking about it for a long moment you finally started the engine and started driving back to your shared apartment. The drive was long, very long. You tried to stay focused on the road even with your blurry vision.
When you finally arrived home, your eyes burned from crying. The second you stepped out of the car your heartbeat fastened. You tried to find a way to announce him that but couldn’t find one. You tried to hide the fact that you were crying, but your eyes were red, your cheeks too and so was your nose, and you kept sniffing.
In the elevator you felt like your heart was going to explode. Your cheeks were full of dried tears. When the elevator reached your floor you stepped out and glanced at the door for a minute before finally deciding to go. You exhaled slowly before opening.
“Hey baby,” Joe said with a huge smile, already up from the couch, “how’s the appointment ?”
You slowly closed the door, swallowing hard before turning around to finally face him. His expression immediately shifted into concern the second he saw your red eyes. You felt the tears coming back.
“Hey, hey, what happened ?” He asked quietly, stepping forward while you tossed your purse aside. His arms wrapped around your waist and he pulled you against him. When your face was finally resting against his chest, you let out a breath you didn’t knew you were holding and started crying again.
Joe looked down at you, confused, then lift your chin to make you look at him.
“I’m so sorry.” You whispered between two sobs.
“For what ?” He asked still confused. His hand was now resting on your cheek, thumb brushing the tears away.
You sniffed quickly, “I’m infertile.” you said quietly, watching his expression shift. His hand moved to your hair as he exhaled slowly, pressed your head against his chest before leaning down to kiss on top of your head and inhale the scent of your hair.
“It’s okay,” He mumbled into your scalp, “there’s other ways to do it.”
“I’m so sorry, Joe.” You repeated in another sob.
“You don’t have to be, it’s not your fault..” He said quietly, closing his eyes and stroking your hair with his hand while tears still ran down your cheeks.
When you pulled back he took your hands in his and searched for your blurry eyes. “I know how much you wanted this.. and I just ruined everything.” You said, your voice cracking at almost every word before breaking again. He shook his head slowly, his hands moving to cup your face gently. “I can’t give you the family you wanted.” Your lips trembled.
“You are my family.” Joe said quietly, lifting your head up to make you look at him.
You began crying harder when he pulled you back against his chest, and you fell apart once again. Your hands clutched his shirt while his arms wrapped tightly around you. You could hear how fast his heart was beating.
“It’s gonna be hard,” he started, resting his cheek on your head, “really hard.. but someday we’ll figure out what comes next.”
“What if there’s nothing next ?” You sniffed.
“Then we’ll still have each other.”
You knew Joe was heartbroken but he didn’t show it, maybe it was a way to make you understand that this wasn’t your fault, and that things like that happens in life.
Because this is the whole point, life isn’t always full of highs, in fact, it mostly has lows. And those highs are what matter most. It could be moments you’ll never forget about or some good news you’ve been waiting for so long, but it always will be something that brings a smile to your face no matter the situation. Joe was your high.
Later that night, you sat in silence around the table. You barely ate the dinner Joe made, even though his cooking is your favorite. Sometimes you glanced at him. His eyes were focused on his plate, moving his fork between his food while he swallowed the ones he had in his mouth. He was thinking, about your future and the multiples ways you could have children. He glanced up at you when he felt you staring, your eyes quickly looked back down at your plate. Suddenly he reached for you hand across the table, squeezing it gently and drawing circles with his thumb. It was reassuring.
When you did the dishes after eating, you silently broke again. Tears fell down your cheeks again and you swallowed hard. You felt Joe’s hands sliding around your waist and hugging you tight against him. He left small open-mouthed kisses on your neck.
When you got comfortable in your bed, you couldn’t fall asleep. You kept thinking about it, replaying the words of your gynecologist a million times in your head. Small tears still fell down your cheeks and lend on your pillow. Joe on the other hand was sleeping very deeply.
For a whole hour you stared at the same dark spot in your room. “You' not sleepin' ?” Joe asked quietly turning around to wrap his arms around you.
“I can’t.” You whispered.
“You need to.” His face was buried in your neck.
“I know.”
You don’t remember at what point you fell asleep.
—
The first month after the big news felt unreal. You were still proceeding the thing. You were grieving a dream that could never happen. Some days, you would wake up in the morning and forget. You’d stretched under your blanket and think about your day, before it would came back to your mind. You couldn’t walk through the baby aisle in the grocery store anymore. All those items staring at you like they were judging. One afternoon you found yourself staring at a display of baby clothes. Without realizing tears began rolling down your face. You were mourning someone that never even existed.
Joe only cried once in front of you. The day after telling him you found him sitting on the couch with a beer in his hand, in the middle of the night, as tears fell down his cheeks. You watched him wipe his eyes before taking a deep breath. When he turned his face and saw you, he forced a smile, sniffing. You approached him slowly and sat beside him. Your hand caressed his back before he reached for you and pulled you against him. He quietly fell apart in your arms, face buried in your neck. You watched him cry in your arms for a moment, before crying another time with him.
On the second month you somehow started to convince yourself that Joe deserved someone else, someone that could give him a child. He wasn’t the problem, you were. Joe could have babies, you couldn’t. One night you lay awake watching him sleep. His face looked peaceful when sleeping. You imagined what your kids could’ve looked like. You wondered if they would’ve looked just as peaceful as him while sleeping.
Eventually, you started pulling away from him. Not because you loved him less but because you loved him too much that you felt guilty. You stopped initiating kisses, stopped reaching for his hand and pulled away quickly when he hugged you. You thought you were protecting him from becoming more attached to someone who has ruined his dreams. Joe noticed, of course he did.
“Have I done something wrong ?” He asked one evening.
“No.” You looked down at your plate.
“You won’t let me touch you anymore.”
Your eyes burned, “I just..”
“You just what ?”
You took a deep breath before looking up at him, “You deserve better.” You finally admitted quietly.
The silence afterwards hurt more than anything, he looked at you like you’d spoken a language he’d never heard before. He shook his head, brows furrowed, “I don’t understand.”
You swallowed, “You deserve a wife who can give you children.”
His chair scrapped loudly across the floor as he stood, “I never asked you to give me children.”
“But you wanted them.” Your voice cracked.
“Yes.” He reached for your hand, “Yes I did.” He kneeled down beside you. “But I married you for the better and the worst. And this is the worst.” his voice cracked slightly, “But you know that it always was the better before this.” He took a deep breath, tears began falling down your face for the hundredth times, “What I’m trying to say is that we lived with it for years, and just knowing it can’t change everything between us. I don’t deserve another woman just because you’re not able to carry my child, just because we’re not able to accomplish one of our dream.”
He took your second hand in his, thumbs brushing your knuckles slowly, “You know some dreams are harder to achieve than others and that’s the whole point of life. Work hard for something you really want.” You watched him carefully, listening to everything he said. “I love you. I love you so much i’m ready to give away some of my dreams just to be with you.” A small smile appeared through your tears.
He reached up for you, crashing his lips on yours. It felt like he was kissing you for the first time ever. You smiled through the kiss as one his hand stroked your hair slowly. That night, after two month, you finally had sex with Joe again, and when you both came at the same time, you cried. You cried and smiled and kissed. He held you close all night, whispering sweet nothings as you slowly fell asleep in his arms. It was the first time in these two months that you really slept.
By the third month, you’ve finally started to accept it. Not completely, but enough for your life to feel like before. You laughed more, slept more and spent less time thinking about it. You rarely talked about it with Joe, instead you talked about work, about his next tour he couldn’t wait for to arrive, about the exciting news your boss told you. Your relationship now felt exactly the same as the very beginning of it, the conversation you had brought you closer. You had date nights at some fancy restaurants, you watched a lot of movies together. You did exactly what a husband and a wife should be doing.
By the starting of the fourth month, a huge fever kept you in bed for a week. Your head hurts, you coughed, you were exhausted and you had that pain in your stomach that not even pain meds could erase. Joe was worried, he made his best to take care of you. He came back home from the studio earlier just to make you dinner and help you get into the shower. Sometimes when you were too tired he even washed your back and hair. He cleaned the house, cleaned your clothes. He moved the appointment he had this weekend just to stay home with you.
“You should see a doctor.” He told you on Saturday night while laying in bed behind you, his arms wrapped around your waist.
You coughed quietly, “Yeah I should.”
“You want me to come with you.”
You smiled through your pain, “No, you don’t have to.”
“Okay.” He whispered into your ear.
On Monday you decided to listen to Joe, and go see a doctor. You were at the medical center around 9 a.m., you waited for about 20 minutes in the waiting room. When the doctor called your name, you stood up difficultly. In fact, a new pain had joined the other, a back pain that hit every time you stood up. The doctor examined you like always, usual things he did every time you came here. But this time he couldn’t really determined what you had, he hesitated between the flu, a cold, maybe bronchitis ? He didn’t knew. So he booked you an appointment for a blood test for this afternoon. He said that it was gonna help you know what you actually had.
So around 3 p.m. you got to the hospital, and waited for your turn again. The nurse called you and guided you to a quiet room, before starting to prepare the syringe. And after she’d punctured you she directly sent your blood to the laboratory. You waited for almost an hour, in the same room, for the results. When the nurse walked back in, she was smiling.
“I don’t see anything really wrong, you probably got the flu and maybe a little cold with that.” She stated with a little smile, you simply nodded. “But there’s nothing really severe that could put your baby in danger.”
Your face completely dropped, the polite smile you had on your face disappeared instantly, “What ?” You said barely above a whisper.
Her smile also faded slightly, “Oh. You didn’t knew ?” You shook your head slowly, your heart was beating so fast you were sure she could hear it, “Well, congratulations.” She said, her smile growing back.
You weren’t quite smiling yet, because you were scared. What if it didn’t last ? What if this ended before it truly began ? But your excitement took over you quickly and your vision started to get blurry. But this time not from sadness but happiness.
When you reached your car, you sat inside for a moment, replaying her words a thousand times in your head. Four months ago you were in this same parking lot, in your car, crying because someone had just ruined your dreams in one word, and today you were crying because an other person just revived it with one word too. You even pinched yourself to make sure you weren’t dreaming. You breathed in deeply before starting the engine to quickly go back home, eager to tell Joe.
You could already see him taking you in his arms and crying when he’ll realise that his dream is becoming true. But when you opened the door of your apartment, he wasn’t there, he’d left earlier this afternoon to go to the studio and you had no idea when he was going to be home.
You quickly got the idea to take a pregnancy test, just to make sure that this was real and that you weren’t imagining it. And when the result finally appeared, you cried again at the sight of that single word on a plastic thing : pregnant. You held it with a trembling hand, tears falling down your cheeks again, You jumped in the entire apartment and screamed.
You should’ve probably guessed it because of your menstruation. But you didn’t even realise that your period were late, your cycle had become unpredictable after all the stress the situation gave you. You couldn’t care less now, you had a baby growing in you. Your child, Joe’s child. Your dream, Joe’s dream.
You didn’t stopped crying for the rest of the afternoon. You watched tiktoks of babies, you searched up for baby’s clothes, already imagining it in your arms. You were still worried, actually more than ever, but you couldn’t help and imagined your future already.
When Joe walked through the door, he found you sitting on the couch, eyes swollen from crying. Worry immediately washed over his face as he crossed the room in few quick steps, he reached for you, taking your face in both his hands. “Hey, hey, what’s wrong ?”
You smiled through your tears that began to fall again as soon as you heard his keys. You couldn’t talk, you just handed him the test. He took it carefully, looked at it, then looked at you, then back at it. He stared for so long that you could see the realisation taking over his face.
“Is this.. or am I dreaming.” You slowly nodded, laughing quietly. He swallowed hard and took a deep breath. He was slowly processing it.
Your smile faded slowly when you didn’t saw him smile, “I’m worried too.” He glanced up at you, “I’m scared that i’ll loose the baby.”
He slowly nodded, finally sitting beside you. He took your hands in his, “I’m pretty sure that you’ll be good.. and that our baby,” he stopped and smiled, “will be good.” He finally wrapped his arms around you, pulling flush against him. “I love you, baby.” He whispered in your hair.
“I love you too, Joe.” You said quietly.
This night it was just you, Joe and your baby. Maybe tomorrow everything will change again, maybe it’ll happen in a month or two or six, but for tonight, you were pregnant. You carried your dream and that was all that matter. Maybe miracles can actually happens.
Hope you enjoyed girlies !! Let me know what you think 💕
Read more of my work here : masterlist.
My inbox’s always open for anything and everything !!
⋆ ͘ . ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ 𝑠𝑦𝑛𝑜𝑝𝑠𝑖𝑠 it’s him and his stupid pride again. and for some reason you wholeheartedly believed his recovering body wouldn’t grace that godforsaken football field—but time and time you forget that your little idiot for a husband, will push your buttons. really, he should be resting and wasting away at home but now he’s at the bengals’s practice and as punishment, he’s got to watch the baby while you go out for brunch with your girls.
⋆ ͘ . ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ 𝑤𝑎𝑟𝑛𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑠 no real warnings , slight illusion to intimacy , just superrrrr sweet fluff. like tooth rotting , + i guess cursing counts !
⋆ ͘ . ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ 𝑑𝑦𝑛𝑎𝑚𝑖𝑐𝑠 mom (reader) & dad (joe) / parents, reader is joe’s fiancée + mother of his child, basically joe being a smart ass.
ִֶָ. ..𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ🪽་༘࿐ ྀི 𓈒 my di𝚊𝚛𝓎 𓈒 ୨୧ ! no notes this time :) just enjoy reading + the end is genuinely so rushed, forgive me !!
⋆˚౨ৎ ⋆.˚ it’s a blazing hot day in cincinnati, so you take advantage of your chances to get out of your very comfortable home and go to brunch with your beloved girls. except—your little outlier, aurelia, is bundled in your arms with a sun hat, overalls with decadent sunflowers, and the silliest pout known to humankind.
aurélia was conceived in the late january of this year, so she’s not foreign to football—arguably, she might despise it. it’s too loud, too much people, and generally overstimulating for her. honestly, this little outing might set her off the edge and that’s exactly what the plan is. to get back at joe for being a smart ass.
one of his teammates facetimed you earlier, an obvious display of joe lounging in some golf cart, running drills with the rest of the team like he’s even capable of such a thing after an appendectomy. joe’s stubborn as a bull and you’ve come to reason with that especially after many arguments on how to wipe your baby, bathe your baby, and dress your baby.
his expertise in infants? very, very unheard of. but in his football addled mind—holding a baby like a football and feeding it every other hour seems to be enough.
aurélia on the other hand, gargles random gibberish as the sun beats down on the both of you—not as comfortable as the perfectly cooled range rover next to you two, but you’re willing to make a sacrifice to get on your fiance’s last nerve. anything to say, “i told you to stay your ass at home, now deal with the consequences.”
you call up ja‘marr and he’s gladly on his way to the parking lot, he’s also in on this plan by the way. ja’marr’s practically your partner in crime—you two have forged a sister-brother like bond in the past year and a half. despite all the stupid arguments and shots thrown at each other, so naturally you trust that man with your little baby.
“you cry your eyes out on the field, miss lia. i’m not playing around.” your voice has no real bite in it, fighting back laughter as she gives you a serious look like she understood exactly what her task was. “oooo someone’s ready,” you chuckle, peppering kisses on her cheeks—your lip gloss leaving some pink-and-brown residue from your lip liner as well.
aurélia nearly whipped her damn head around at hearing ja’marr’s footsteps—his cleats switched for crocs now. “aye, there’s my lil mama,” he beams, literally snatching little aurelia out of your grip, “you boutta give your daddy hell, ain’t you?”
ja’marr and you both smile at each other, and you mouth a short goodbye and wave at your precious little princess before sliding back into your car. you’ve got thirty minutes to kill before brunch with a few of your girls—claire, giana, and nyomi. you refer to them as your “dream team,” they’re the ones who’ve been there every step of the way—moving, the baby being born, joe proposing. you couldn’t imagine a life without them at your side.
cinnicinati bengals ◡̈ — practice
“joey! your lil burrowette is here!” ja’marr belts out for the entire team to hear, nearly bursting the sensitive ear drums of aurélia who pretends to be unphased about this. though her tiny little brain can fathom the feeling of missing her mother—at least she’s not obnoxiously loud, especially since right now is her designated nap time. she’s also got one leg sticking out of the baby carrier, wiggling around uncontrollably.
joe’s immediately sitting up straight in the golf cart, his eyes narrowing confusedly on the image of a baby carrier, his teammate, and his child. having no clue what he’s looking at from such a distance although he does pride himself on his stellar vision. “what in the world?” he murmured.
the whole team pried themselves off the pitch, laughing at the curly haired babe in ja’marr baby carrier that he definitely put on wrong. tee’s fist bumping her, tyler’s playing with her tiny little curls, and it just seems the entire team is fawning over—his baby.
he can hear some of their ridiculously corny comments already:
“what’s she here for? we don’t do tummy time on the 50 yard line.”
“you gon’ drop her, you don’t know how to support the head bro.”
“she smells like vanilla, you think babies got a favorite smell or nah?”
driving the cart over to the rest of guys, against coach taylor’s command, joe cracks a suspicious smile. he can practically smell your kayali perfume emanating off the baby. “gimme my damn baby,” he laughed softly, pulling her out of the carrier with a easy tug. “sunflowers? jeez louise, your mama dolled you up.” scanning the outfit that nearly brought him to tears—aurélia was the babiest, baby ever.
ja’marr grins at aurélia’s little pout from being whisked away from all the attention—attention seeker, he thought. “the baby got more drip than you,” he refers to joe’s basic dark grey shirt which reads “BENGALS” with orange accents and the black shorts.
much to joe’s dismay, coach’s yelling from across the field—but there’s no bite in his tone. he’s also fighting a laugh from the sight of joe wriggling around the infant. “BURROW! CART, NOW.”
joe scoffs, patting aurelia’s back and bouncing her with those paternal instincts that he swears he doesn’t have, “not too much on me, her mama made me wear it!” he groans, while being handed the carrier to strap around his abdomen. carefully adjusting his daughter inside, he expels a soft sigh, “is this my punishment for sneaking off to practice or somethin’ like that?”
“guilty by association,” tee adds in from the bench, squirting gatorade into his mouth—absolutely exhausted from the 40 yard repeats because the team was ‘slacking off.’ “i drove you here, should’ve just left you home.” he dryly laughs, earning two other chuckles from the men and a disgusted look from aurélia.
the blond haired man notices his daughter’s agitated look, the way her tiny brows squeezed together like she was about to pop a vessel in her tiny cranium, “quit all that fuss.. what’s wrong with you?” joe grumbles, flicking her forehead endearingly. “that’s your uncle right there, you’ve known him since you couldn’t lift your own head up.
some bistro in cincinnati ◡̈ — brunch
the cafe hums with conversation and piero piccioni—swirling laughter, conversation, and orders being called out is muffled out by slightly ajar windows for aesthetics while your group of four is seated outside.
the arrangement is simple yet niche in its own right, a black and while umbrella provides shade against a angry yellow ohioan sun which batters its glowy rays.
“how’s my little niece doing?” nyomi asks softly, stirring her latte with a paper straw—biodegradable stuff gets on her last nerve, she mutters something about the straw basically absorbing her drink.
you perk up, “great!” your eyes flicker over to claire and giana. giana’s having some intervention done on her, it’s unfortunate how your brunch started off so good until she got a call about her boyfriend of four years and his infidelity—that bastard gets on your last nerve.
claire insisted she’d talk to her—didn’t want to overwhelm her with the entire friend group. “joe’s being a prick about his apendectomy though, so i sent her over to his practice since he wants to sneak out like a teenager.” you express some frustration.
nyomi stifles a loud chuckle of surprise, “oh really? typical joe.. he’s been like this since college.”
“or he’s just trying to distract himself cause we haven’t slept together in a bit,” you muffle your voice with a sip of your chai, “huh.. who said that?” you sarcastically respond to yourself.
continuing to hide her amusement in respect to giana’s current situation, nyomi responds in a hushed tone, “girl.. you haven’t gave it up yet?”
“doctor’s orders. no physical exertion for a bit.” your answer is witty, flashing her a cheshire cat smile, “is it evil? yea. but i’m just doing what i’m told.” you feign innocence while gaining few more sips of your chai that’s now lukewarm.
your friend shakes her head, “tsk,” she tuts with a shake of the head, “once that man’s recovered he won’t be letting up on your, that’s for sure.”
cinnicinati bengals ◡̈ — end of practice
walking around the entire field, eyes narrowed on the play that he can’t even participate in, joe throws himself into fatherhood. he loves it for the most part, excluding the blowouts and the colicky period of time months ago. he also loves it because it indefinitely cleaned up his image—from a hungry kid at ohio state, to the king of the quarterbacks at lsu, to a rising star in the league.
he presses soft kisses to aurélia’s head, “my beautiful girl,” he whispers, “guess you still don’t like the sun that much, you keep hiding your face..”
his head snaps up at the sound of a family whistle, practice is officially over. hopping back into the fold car, he checks if she’s secure around him and drives right over to the rest of the group. ja’marr’s already made his way over with his hands out stretched, “where’s my baby at?”
joe raises a brow at his statement, “she’s sleeping.” but to his demise, aurélia yawns—farther from sleep now that she’s in the company of his team again. “well, she’s awake now.”
he hands her over begrudgingly, shooting you a text to come get him from the field—joe doesn’t want to admit it but he’s seriously hurt by people stealing his little girl away from him. “just whatever you do, don’t pass her around the—” too late.
aurora’s being passed around like a super bowl trophy to each and every teammate, don’t even get joe started and how she’s giggling whenever the linemen ruffle her hair, her hat long forgotten in joe’s hands.
coach pats him on the back, “so the baby’s our good luck charm now? the guys did better today, QB.” he chuckles smoothly, walking over to the rest of the squad to assign some playbook stuff. but joe’s on a whole other planet, thinking about the lecture he’s about to get in the car, he knows you don’t play about his health.
what grounds him back on earth is your text message, ‘say goodbye to your lil friends, joseph lee burrow. have someone walk you back with MY baby please.’ with a little pink heart next it to lesson the absolute fear that trickled up his spine.
“alright, team, i’ll see y’all later. uhh—mrs. burrow needs me in the car.” joe mentally curses him, watching aurélia wave bye to the laughing stock, he already know tee’s walking him back, as he’s the only one ready to head back to the parking lot.
tee’s got joe’s bag and his bag loose in his hands, giving him a wary look, “y/n ‘bout to tear you to shreds, man. best of luck. and next time, get ja’marr to drive you.” he could practically smell the despair coming off of joe. laughable? yes. frightening? also yes. a 6’4 man waiting to get his head bitten off by a woman who barely stands at 5’7 is awfully impressive.
in the car ◡̈ — on the way home
“really classy, joe!” your voice booms over the sound of marvin gaye filling the car, you’re even more ticked off by the way he hums the lyrics like he knows the song—when he’s an avid luke combs listener. your knuckles turn light brown in stark comparison to your darker complexion from how hard you grip the steering wheel.
joe’s kicking his feet all mindlessly, “thanks for the compliment, babe.” his voice is monotonous, like he doesn’t even care that he’s barely two weeks post operation, to you—he’s still rambling about fossils and coming down from anesthesia. “you know practice was great actually! the guys love aurelia and i got to drive a—”
“not the point, joe.” you interrupt swiftly, feeling bad at the way he shrinks himself at your tone, “i told you. stay home! and i wake up to an empty bed and aurélia gnawing on a football when i have brunch with my girls.” you’re nearly exasperated from complaining, but there’s more on your mind once you park the car, “then you have the gall to sneak out like some teenager. only for your punishment of watching lia—turns into some team meet and greet with the baby they’ve known for seven months. joe! you’re twenty fucking five years old.”
your fiancé’s playing with the hem of his shirt, he’s nervous and wrong. the perfect combination of what he deserves to feel, it’s so bad he gives you this pathetic look that almost makes your heart skip a beat. “’m sorry. i just wanted to get out there again and not be stuck doing absolutely nothing all day.”
he takes in a deep breath, “can i make it up to you?” his hand traces up your thigh, its a needy whisper against the fabric of your sundress. of course that’s what he resorts to—intimacy. you know he’s a kinesthetic kind of guy, touch is everything to him. the rubbery texture of footballs, the prickly turf—everything to him needs to be felt to understand. you’re not the exception.
“no physical exertion,” you lock your smaller hand around his wrist, pulling it away from the lower region of your body, its painful to do so—you would die for his touch right now. “also, our baby is still in the car with us.” your espresso brown eyes peer into the rear view mirror, her tiny seraphic face makes your resolve soften almost.
joe groans like an impatient child, “aight.. what about a kiss?” he acts like that’ll even solve your frustrations with him, and perhaps it could. he hands ghost right over each side of your cheeks, he’s not even giving you eye contact. too enamored with the curvature of your lips, and that nervous smile you give him—those dimples drive him mad. “you know you want it.”
but before you can even reply, aurélia’s awake again—cooing and mewling at the changed scenery. she knows she’s home at it’s comforting to her, though joe is not pleased with her awakening. “cockblocker,” he whines pathetically, slumping into his seat, “i’ll take her inside.”
nodding, you pick up your bag off the ground of the car, making a swift exit as you unlock the door for him. monitoring his every move like a hawk. and honestly speaking, it felt good to know joe and his stupid pride didn’t get the satisfaction of a kiss.
Domme and Joe aren't just tackling marriage anymore. A year married and their lives get turned upside down a little bit. Yet, they decided to do it again a second time.
Meet Jack Jack and Ros.
53K words.
CW: Some light sexual content. Mentions of pregnancy and birth and the aftermath of a vasectomy.
sub!joe masterlist | joe burrow masterlist | main masterlist
__________________________________
Jackson Reese Burrow
Nickname(s): Jack Jack (family nickname), Jack
Born: January 24th
Eldest by two years
______________
Jack Jack is a family nickname bestowed upon Jackson well before he’s born. Joe’d been talking with Ja’Marr and Tee about baby names post practice—all of three of them lingering near the door but not fully committed yet to leaving. “I like the idea of carrying on a tradition of ‘J’ names for boys, and she likes it too. So right now Jackson is in the lead.”
“I like it,” Tee grins. “Jack Jack will be here before you know it though.”
Joe feels the blossom of something warm in his chest, a feeling that settles right into his gut. A weight of revelation. Jack Jack has quite the ring to it. “You guys hungry?” Joe offers instead. “She’s been asking about you two. I don’t think you can really say no to a pregnant woman.”
“Well, shit, don’t gotta ask me twice,” Ja’Marr laughs; his agreement is easy.
Domme’s at the door, which Joe huffs about, because this late into the pregnancy it’s much better for her to rest. The doctors have given her a clean bill of health, yet Joe remains adamant about her not doing too much when he’s not around to help. “Mamas, what are you doing up?” he asks.
“Well, I was snacking. But now, clearly, I am greeting the other humans you’ve brought home.”
“Sit your cute ass back down.”
Domme’s slipping from Ja’Marr’s quick embrace to Tee’s and she sighs. “He acts like I’ll blow away in a strong wind.”
“Nah, he’s right though. You look like you could pop if someone hugged you a little too hard,” Tee laughs. “We heard Jackson’s on the list. I approve of it.”
“What was the nickname you used?” Joe asks, calling out from the kitchen. Joe remembers it the fondness still seep into his bones, but he doesn’t want to take the thunder away from Tee who used it first.
“Jack Jack,” Tee answers, helping Domme back to the couch.
“Oh.” Joe catches the watery edge to her words and slips into the living room. Domme’s perched into her nest on the couch, clutching a pillow. Her eyes find him and her bottom lip is rolled out. “He’ll be a Jack of every trade and the master of whichever one makes him happy or so help me God.”
The entire room is frozen at the sight of the tears, except Joe, who slips in kissing her forehead. Joe is rather used to the swing of emotions, to the way Domme reacts sometimes to the slightest references. So he takes this in stride. “Yeah, baby, we’ll always be there for our baby boy. No matter what.”
Safe to say—Jackson is the name they have to go with now.
_____________
The day Domme goes into labor with Jackson, Joe feels the change, the way his gut lurches at the thought of leaving her behind, even just for the few hours he’d be gone for practice makes him uneasy. He doesn’t want to go. Knows that he should, but can’t shake the feeling that there’s something about today.
Domme’s the one that insists he get his workout in as planned. That should anything happen, he’d be the first call. His nerves are only marginally helped with the addition of both his mother and hers staying with her. Domme’s only a couple weeks out from the due date. While Joe knows how to stay calm under pressure, he can’t help the small blips of anxiety when it comes to Domme. That’s his wife for God’s sake, and his child, so sue him for being a little bit more on edge than usual. Such anxieties are eased by the knowledge that Domme would have people around should anything happen. But Joe wants it to be him. He wants to be around.
“You’re crankier when can’t get a workout in,” she laughs against his lips.
Joe has one hand settled onto the bump, the other holds the back of Domme’s head. She holds an air of mild discomfort, which isn’t abnormal for someone this pregnant, but still Joe feels like it’s more discomfort than usual. “I just feel it. Today’s the day.”
“Go. I will be fine.”
Joe goes. As instructed. But no sooner than Joe could get back into the locker room, his pads not removed from his torso, he hears his phone ringing. The volume turned all the way up, habit now so that if he stepped out of any room without the device he can hear it. The entire room quiets, all the booming voices, even the chatting of the social media team silences.
Joe’s over to his phone, in seconds, clears the distance easily and spots his mother’s contact on the screen. “Mom?” He answers. It’s nerves and not nerves all at the same time.
“You’re having a baby sometime today, if not tomorrow. You’ve got time to shower.”
Domme’s voice floats in from the background, “For fuck sake. I can’t believe you two did all this. Some multiple times.”
Her joking is a good sign, a thing that allows Joe’s shoulders to drop just a little bit more but he can feel the twist in his gut, the churn. He doesn’t like knowing she’s in pain and there’s nothing he can do about it. A byproduct of their mutual decision. “I’m on my way.”
Ja’Marr’s voice breaks the silence of the room first. “Baby on the way?”
Joe gets the pads off before he starts to undo his cleats. “Baby boy is on the way,” Joe confirms.
The entire room cheers, an eruption of clapping starts like a toppling domino effect. There's a few slaps to his back, whistles and Joe’s just barely grabbing the bag he came in with that has his change of clothes and stuff for the shower, before he digs out his keys. The practice pants and compression shirt are enough for him to drive home in. He’d rather not waste a second that he could be there for Domme, even if she fusses at him for coming home smelling like sweat and turf.
Joe knows the route to their home well. He’s taken plenty of times before. Joe counts the turns, glares at the red lights, but does follow every traffic law in order to get home. He can hear Domme now laughing about him getting a ticket for speeding and he wasn’t even driving her to the hospital. Thus, he obeys the traffic laws, but he counts every light, every turn until he’s home, rushing through the front door because he can’t be bothered to move through the hassle of getting to the garage.
Domme’s up, walking, hands on her back, working through the humming technique. She looks beautiful, but she winces—and well, she’s beautiful then too, but the wince reminds Joe what’s going on, what’s at stake, and he crosses the foyer to her, pressing a kiss to her cheek. “I’m here now. And I know I stink, so don’t even think about saying it, but I’m here. I’ve got you, love.”
It takes Domme a minute before she can reply, what Joe assumes is the contraction finally moving on and easing away. “Shower. Now, please. You will not meet your son smelling like that.”
“Yes, ma’am. You are the boss.”
Joe doesn’t fuss in the shower with too much—rinses his hair one good time, washes the necessities and then he’s out, changing without much stopping before he’s back down the steps, double checking and then triple checking their hospital bags. Domme makes Joe stop on the way to the hospital for food, knowing that if she gets admitted they won’t let her eat again until she’s delivered.
Her detour adds on an additional forty five minutes to get her favorite Mediterranean chicken bowl that takes them in the opposite direction of the hospital, which nearly causes Joe to pop a blood vessel when the line doesn’t move for ten minutes. “You would think they’d be prepared for a lunch rush. It’s not hard to do.”
Domme’s got one hand stroking at the back of his neck, teasing at the hair on the nape of his neck. “You’re handsome when you’re angry.”
“I’m not angry. I’m worried sick about you. The contractions are getting a little closer together now. But you want this damn bowl, so we’re going to get it. Even though I think this line of behavior is a little asinine given the circumstances.”
“I’m not me when I’m hungry,” she laughs. “I think everyone will be happier if I eat now.”
Joe glances down to the radio. They’re now next in line which is good, if only the line would start to move. Joe thinks he can spot the brake lights cutting out up ahead. He reaches up to take her head from his neck. “Another minute and I think another contraction is coming.”
“Yeah, I can feel the tell now. But I don’t want to break your hand. You might need it one day. Or so I’ve heard it’s necessary for quarterbacks.”
“For dads,” Joe corrects, a tiny shake of his head. “New dads need both hands. And right now, I don’t care, okay? I just care about you and you being safe and Jackson too. But mostly you.”
The contraction hits and Domme breathes through it, takes it like a champ if Joe had to say. Yet, he can’t stop the ache in his chest. He really hates this, he realizes. Hates knowing that the only thing Domme can do is ride out this pain and the only thing he can do is be there. He can’t take it from her, only help her shoulder it. It’s not much, he knows that much, but god, he wants.
They’re admitted, thankfully, upon arrival, the couple hours of Joe getting home, showering and food might’ve helped with that, but Joe hardly leaves Domme’s side. He’s there when she takes laps around the room, dances with her when she asks, speaks up for her when she doesn’t want another pelvic exam too, “My wife has made it clear that she would rather wait. I can come get you when she’s ready.”
Joe’s in her ear through each contraction. “Breathe for me, mamas. Keep breathing. You got this. You can do this.”
Joe’s got the tennis balls and rolls them over her back well before Domme needs to ask. Her cup of ice chips could never ever be considered below half full with Joe around. He checks it constantly and the second he can see the cup nearing half empty, he’s scooting out of the room to fill it again for her. “Getting you some more ice, okay? Need anything else while I’m gone?”
“A donut would be killer.”
Joe would if he could sneak her a donut. “I can text my mom and when you’re cleared for food, we will get you that donut, promise.”
“I love you.” It’s a whispered confession. She’s tired, it’s clear, eyes fluttering closed for a moment.
“I love you more.” Then Joe scurries out, fills her cup, sucks down one of the granola bars from the snack closet available to him and then hurries back to her room.
Joe would never admit this, but there was a moment, once Domme started pushing, that he thought Domme might actually have the grip strength to break his head. Her hold is getting tighter and tighter and tighter and tighter. Her grunt of exertion and of pain fills the room. And it’s there, in that brief moment that Joe has the thought, she could actually break his head. Even if Domme did manage to injure him, Joe wouldn’t care in the slightest.
Not after the first cry rings out and there, resting on her chest is their baby boy—all eight pounds and 5 ounces of him at 21 inches long. Jackson’s face is tight at the sudden chill of the room certainly. But he’s there, or rather here. “He’s got a set of lungs on him,” Domme laughs, before it bleeds into a soft hushing. “You’re okay, baby. Oh, you’re okay.”
There are tears in his eyes, a blurring after the sting hits and Joe’s not sure what the feeling is—pride, relief, shock, awe, or some mixture—but he can feel the rattle in his chest, the sob that’s going to break free. Yet his first instinct is to cup Domme’s cheek, stroke the sweaty flesh. “How do you feel, love?” Joe asks, the words tight and hard in his throat.
“I-I don’t know. Overwhelm. Relief. Hungry. All the emotions.”
“I’ll take that. That’s okay.”
The nurses call him over, are basically begging Joe to take a few seconds just to himself with his baby, but he takes another minute with Domme, nose and lips pressed into the side of her face. “I’m so incredibly proud of you, baby. So proud of you. Thank you. For doing this. For loving me. And him.”
“It’s an honor,” Domme hums in return against his lips.
Babies are shockingly much smaller than Joe anticipated them to be. Or rather, than what he remembers them being. Joe takes Jackson at the nurses insistence and places his baby boy onto his bare chest—settling into the chair pulled up next to the bed. “He’s so tiny,” Joe laughs.
“Won’t be for long if your genetics have anything to do with it.”
The room finally starts to calm, sort of like after a party, where everyone has gone home and there’s still cups and plates to toss, but there’s a rush of relief like an exhale. Joe hadn’t the foggiest idea prior to this even after the baby was born, there’s still the placenta and a host of other things to still be monitoring and dealing with. So it shocked him just a little that there was still a bit of a circus in the room for a few hours after birth.
And it’s after all that. After they get Domme swaddled into blankets. Her round of shakes sends Joe reeling before a nurse intervenes, “Pump the brakes, Dad. Mom is okay. This happens. We got her.” It’s the exhale, to have the room, mostly to themselves. Domme’s hand in his, Jackson on his chest, that Joe feels another round of tears. He doesn’t stop them, just lets them track down his cheeks. This part is done and then the rest of their lives and the start of parenthood extends out even further in front of them.
Joe’s just glad both of them made it, that the worse that happened was the fucking wait at the drive through, that her doctors listened to what she wanted, that the nurses were helpful. That his family and hers are understanding that right now they still need just a little bit of time to themselves, that soon Joe will hit send on the ‘All Clear’ that’s sitting in his drafts. But for now, there is quiet, and it’s just him, and Domme, and Jack Jack.
“Love you, kid. More than I have words for,” Joe whispers to the tiny frame on him. He wipes his tears slowly, moves inch by inch as to not startle or wake his baby boy. “And your mama’s the strongest woman I’ve met. Man, we’re blessed. She’s great. Can’t wait for you to get to know her.”
When Domme wakes, about an hour and a half later due to a nurse checking vitals, Joe offers her Jack Jack. “You went out pretty fast afterwards and I figured best to let you rest. But he’s your kid too, so I can’t hog him.”
Her arms open easily and Joe slides Jackson inside, careful of his head. A tiny corner of the blanket unfurls in the transfer, one tiny foot stretched out—as if seeking warmth. Joe reaches across the gap, slips his palm right under the bottom of his foot and strokes the tiny joint that feels almost too soft to be an ankle. The picture is easy to snap, quick too and doesn’t take away from Joe’s watchful ear as Domme converses with the baby. “Oh, you’ve got your dad’s frown.”
“Why does it have to be my frown? It could be yours.”
“Look at him,” Domme commands and when Joe peers down, he is met with a reflection of his own frown. He remains silent but Domme grins. “Exactly like I thought.”
“Shush. But you might be right.”
_____________________________
After the season is done, Joe takes the night shifts with Jack. Joe wants Domme to be as well rested as she can be during the days. Knows that she needs that, and it helps at the very least that they know that no matter what time of day, or time of night, there’s at least one of them at the ready to respond for each whine and cry.
It’s awkward at first. Joe’s not nervous as he is petrified. Jack’s hungry cry from his diaper change cry sounds different, but Joe’s still not learned which one is which yet. There’s still the initial, oh shit this tiny human needs me to figure it out, they cannot tell me moment, sometimes when the cries wake Joe in the middle of the night. But after a couple weeks, Joe sorts it out.
It may have taken a few early morning phone calls to his mother to learn it, but Joe did and that’s all that matters. Jack Jack is howling in the background of the phone conversation. Joe’s peering back behind him to make sure Domme hasn’t woken up. “Mom, I don’t know what else to do. I don’t want to wake her but I’ve tried everything. Fresh diaper. He won’t take the bottle. I’m rocking him right now. He just seems fussy and for something, but I don’t know what.”
“Does he have a fever? Running hot by chance?”
Joe runs a hand over Jack’s chubby cheeks and forehead. But he feels cool to the touch, warm like he’s supposed to be, but not hot. “Negative.”
There’s the sticky sound of barefoot shuffling and Joe turns. “Mamas, go back to bed, I’ve got him.”
But Domme’s not deterred. “I woke up to pee and because I missed you both. So, you’re stuck with me. Tell your mom I said hi.”
Joe doesn’t believe for a single second that Domme woke up just to pee by happenstance. But she takes a fussy Jack into her arms, resting his torso into her chest and shoulder, a firm pat to Jack’s bottom. In an instant, he settles, the shrieks lowering to a huffed sniffle and sigh. “We’re a team, baby. We always will be,” she reminds him, softly stretching up for a kiss. A kiss that Joe gives easily.
“I’ll let you go, Joe,” his mother hums in his ear. “But I’ll keep my phone near me just in case. Tell her I said hi.”
Joe nods, but still staring at Domme. “Yeah, I’ll let her know, Mom. Thanks for answering. I know it’s late.” They hang up and Joe’s relieved to have his son satisfied but the fretting doesn’t cease. “When he’s settled again, you’re going back upstairs. You need rest.”
“We all need rest.”
“You especially.”
But that hot edge, the part of Domme that’s much too fierce even for Joe at times, peeks out. “And let you have all the baby time, I think not.”
That night, after Jack’s soft breathing deepens and he’s transferred with expertise into the downstairs crib, Domme snuggles right up to Joe on the couch, her face pressed into his chest. His arms slip around her waist, tugging her in even closer. “You’re so stubborn,” Joe whispers into the skin of her forehead.
“But you love me.”
“Yeah,” Joe exhales, feeling the final tugs of sleep at the edges of his consciousness. “I do.”
They make it work—like they always do. Domme wakes before Joe to start the day for breakfast, the smell arouses him if Jack’s morning doesn’t get to him first. And in the exchange of breakfast, and soft still barely awake kisses, Jack’s transferred to Domme—sometimes like a football with Jack’s head still supported, Joe’s muscle memory being the only thing to tide him over, most often with a flurry of kisses to Jack’s head. “Be good for Mamas, okay?” is Joe’s last warning before he slips upstairs, to sleep undisturbed for at least four to five hours.
This works up until camp starts again, and then they migrate back to a more reasonable schedule—working to get Jack to sleep through the night, finding a daycare for him, finding a new normal. Joe and Domme are tired, uniquely so, tired in ways they’d never imagined. Yet, they still manage to have date nights—once every two weeks they manage to slip out to a nice dinner. One of their parents will babysit for them. Sometimes for the night, sometimes just for the evening.
Joe takes Domme out deep to a clear, sandwiches packed into the cooler. They leave the city far behind them, radio playing softly around them. It helps them stay connected to each other, huddled up in the backseat of the SUV, playing cards by flashlight. Until Joe loses one too many times and Domme slips up into his lap, her mouth working so expertly over his jaw and neck.
Joe sighs at the latch, at how she touches him like she’d still devour him without a second thought. It lights his stomach with a fire that he never really wants to be put out. “Shit,” Joe moans, fingers taking hold of her waist.
Domme chuckles, hand slipping up to the column of his throat. “Hmm, I like the sound of that.”
The windows fog on that particular date night, not that they do a lot. All mostly over the clothes, all touches, but it’s enough to remind them that they’re still partners rather than roommates at the end of the day.
________________
Joe loved watching Domme while pregnant, even though he fussed over her every step, she glowed. He wanted to always be in the warmth of her smile, wanting to catch onto every twinkle of her laugh. When he picked out clothes for her, he’d be sure to pick the tiniest top possible, the bump much too big for the material. He has videos of her, in leggings, sneakers, and a tiny crop top ahead of him.
“Are you recording me?” Domme asked, catching him when she turned around.
“Possibly,” Joe laughed.
“Oh my god. At least let me know so I can give you a show.”
And once Jack’s settled into daycare, and life feels normal for them again, their sex life comes to the forefront again, more than it did before in the first few weeks to months after Jackson’s arrival. They’re no less intimate, but they’re more careful. Joe’s not sure he can go through with their original plan for two kids. He’s sure his heart could actually break watching Domme in that kind of pain again.
But Domme can’t be blamed, not when she’s watching Joe with a baby on his chest, or a carseat in one hand, or that hat pulled low onto his brow. She is at the end of the day merely human. Her husband looks like a deity carved into flesh. Sue her. But it’s in these moments when she’s trying to initiate and she can sense the tug, the leash Joe has himself on.
“Baby, can we talk?” Domme questions.
“It’s not you, it’s me,” Joe answers, but nods. “I just don’t want you to think I’m not attracted to you or anything. Because that’s literally the opposite of the truth.” His laughter is punctuated by the erection he’s currently dealing with, between them, Domme straddling his lap.
“I’m willing to listen,” she offers, slipping off him now, settling onto the mattress, her hips only inches from his hips. “Is it fear?”
The nod is immediate. “A little. I just—I know we talked about two kids. And I don’t know, seeing you during delivery, that looked like a lot and I hated knowing there wasn’t anything I could do to take away the pain. I don’t know. I guess I’m more worried about it than you appear to be.”
“No, delivery…was tough. Tougher than I think either one of us could’ve planned for. But you did help. A lot. Speaking up for me. Never letting my cup get too empty. Encouraging me. It helped more than I think I might’ve previously let on. I wouldn’t have wanted anyone else in that room but you, Joe. I know I could do it again too with you there. So, first, I guess, thank you. For doing that, for being there. And second, it’s okay if we need more time before baby two.”
His face lights up, almost like a kid in a candy store, his boy making his face look younger. Like somehow he can’t believe any of that made a difference. Though it did. It made more of a difference than Domme has words for, to feel that kind of support means more than words can truly encapsulate. “You mean that? That me doing all that helped?”
“Yeah, Papa Bear. It helped.”
Joe scopes her up, hooks an arm around her legs and pulls until she’s back in his lap again. “I do think I’ll take that extra time. However,” he starts, trailing kisses down her jaw, “I think I can find plenty to do until then.”
“You dog,” Domme grins but takes Joe’s face and pulls him up for a proper kiss.
___________________________
Joe’s not sure what he thought being a dad would mean. If somehow he’d gotten comfortable with the vague abstract concept of it as something that would just come naturally to him, that he’d fall into some sort of innate rhythm with it. But Jackson’s not what Joe anticipated. The two of them butt heads, not in a bad way. Jack’s a lot more emotional than Joe. They’re both much more introverted, which is a plus. Jack can be left to play and sometimes the house is much too quiet for a house that has a three year old in it. If anyone rounds a corner though, Jack can be spotted, at his desk, quietly coloring. Making something. Sometimes he’s found sitting in his parent’s closet, swimming in one of the very few suit jackets Joe owns, happy to pet the soft suede on a pair of Domme’s heels.
“Buddy, what are you doing in here?” Joe asks with a laugh, phone lowering now after snapping the picture.
Jack shuffles over, a grin on his face. “Look, I’m dressed like you!”
Joe nods, dropping down into a squat. “Yeah, Jack Jack, you are definitely dressed like me. Were you looking for some quiet time?”
“I think so. Roslyn was crying really loud.”
Joe exhales, a heavy and slow sound of his chest. Roslyn was being fussy before she finally settled in for her nap. Domme had been attempting to take her, to give Joe a little breather, but she didn’t want anyone but Joe and now that she’s asleep, it’s a tad more quiet in the house and thankfully Roslyn will stay asleep after the initial fight to get her down. “You’re right. She was loud. I can give you some quiet time, but I need you where I can see you. So do you want to continue playing dress up?”
Jack nods, “Please.”
“Alright. I can do that if you follow me. I need you to give Dad three minutes to grab the baby monitor from downstairs and to get you a snack. Sound like a good deal?”
“Do I get apple slices or animal crackers?”
“Which one do you want?”
“Animal crackers.”
“Yeah, we can do animal crackers,” Joe agrees.
“You got a deal.”
Jack’s hand doesn’t even come out the other side of the sleeve, but Joe takes it anyway, grinning to himself. “Thanks for working with me.”
“Of course, Daddy. And I won’t tell Momma about the animal crackers.”
Joe finds that secret hard to believe, but holds that remark back on his tongue and lets Jack lead the way downstairs. He does in fact only have three minutes and Joe intends to keep his word.
It’s just abundantly clear that as Jack gets older, he feels things differently. Joe’s not trying to raise his son to be emotionally stunted, but Joe’s just not used to having to deal with someone who feels and sees the world so differently but doesn’t have all the words that they seemingly want or need to convey it. Who needs Joe to give him those words day in and day out. So it’s a challenge for Joe. A thing that Joe wants to sink his teeth into and do it well. But holy moly, Jackson’s not what Joe thought having a son would be like.
Jack’s much more interested in the world at large, learning why and how things operate the way they do. He cares about how others feel, but Jack is also deeply offended by some of the rules of the world too. It just doesn’t make sense to him that he can’t wear his Spiderman suit to bed. Why do adults get the final say when Jack’s perspective could be just as valid as anyone else’s? Why can’t he just tell other people to be nicer to everyone and actually expect them to listen? Why can’t he have more yogurt two hours before bedtime? Wasn’t it good for him? Mom said it was good for him.
Joe swears as Jack goes through ages 5-10, he never finishes the day more mentally drained. Joe’s had to learn playbooks, had to handle taxes, the prenup with Domme, juggling her pregnancy and cravings, but Jack leaves him with utterly nothing. There’s always more and more questions, questions that not even Joe’s thought of, that he ever thought to think of at that age. But Joe’s not going to stamp out his kid’s curiosity so when Jack asks, “How did purple get seen as a girl color? It’s a nice color.”
Joe steadies himself with a deep inhale and breaks out his phone. “Let’s find out together.” It’s his go-to phrase when Joe can’t find a quick answer. Hell, Joe uses it when he knows the answer, but has a feeling that it will just open up a larger can of worms. So it doesn’t matter if they’re in the middle of the grocery store or at home, Joe stands, or sits and reads over whatever sources he thinks looks reliable to Jackson. Joe pauses for questions to be met with Jack’s tiny voice, “What does sociological mean? Did I say it right?” And no, a four year old doesn’t say sociological right, but Joe breaks it down piece by piece and then does his best to give a definition.
So yes, at the end of the day, when both kids are put to bed, Joe climbs into Domme’s arms and sighs, inhales her scent off her skin. “I love him, Mamas. I swear I love him. But he asked why the color purple is seen as a girl color after frantically trying to get him to a bathroom. Traffic was horrible. He didn’t like any of the radio stations he usually likes. And I didn’t think I was going to make it through that Kroger because every answer just gave him more questions.”
“You will enjoy the fruits of your labor. Just give it another couple years. Promise, Papa Bear. Promise you will.”
_______________
Domme’s right. Because of course she is. Like she would always be, Joe thinks. Jack’s curiosity is a good thing. It is a thing to keep burning bright. It’s rewarding to see his boy on the playground or at home figuring out life, navigating the world. Like the time Jack Jack, at 7, hollers for Joe on the playground one weekend. “Dad! Orange alert! Orange alert!”
Joe clears the twenty, twenty five foot gap in seconds, mulch kicked up and flying from the absolute heat in Joe’s pace, just barely dodging the little bodies playing, to find Jack next to a little girl, who’s maybe five with a skinned knee. “She got pushed off the slide. Can you make her knee better? I watched the way the other kids went.”
Sure, Joe feels a little frazzled at the little girl’s pain, but Joe’s much relieved that it’s not his kid hurt. They have a color system—orange for injuries, yellow for being only a little scared, green for feeling good, red for the absolute worst case scenarios/big scared/emergencies, which could be substituted for ‘fire’ too, in case they were in a crowded area.
Joe nods all the same. “Don’t go too far from my sight, okay, Jack Jack. I need to see you at all times.”
“My dad’s nice, don’t worry,” Jack warns the younger girl.
Joe crouches down, “Hey, my name’s Joe. I’m Jack’s Dad. Is it okay if I pick you up? Want to see that scrape better, that’s all.”
The little girl’s tears are still rolling down her cheeks. “Yes,” she hiccups.
“Thanks. What’s your name?”
“Lily.”
“Okay, Lily, I’ve got you. You’re going to be okay,” Joe coos, getting her up and into his arms. “Who are you here with?”
“My-my mommy.”
“Yeah, your mom. Okay. And where is she? Do you remember what color shirt she’s wearing?”
“I-I don’t remember,” Lily cries. The quiet sniffling returns to a full blown panicked sob.
“No, no, don’t worry,” Joe soothes. He’s used to this. Has had to get used to it with two kids. “It’s okay. Just point in the direction she was sitting. All I need you to do is point.” The scrape doesn’t look terrible. Only a couple angry red lines, but still, no fun to take the spill off the slide.
Lilly points and Joe starts in that direction, scanning the faces of the parents sitting in the shade. “Can I get Lily’s mom? Please?” Joe calls out. Immediately, a red headed woman pops up, her body turned away from another mother she was in a conversation with. “Is that your mom?” Joe asks the little girl, wanting to verify before passing her off. Lily nods, one hand wiping at her cheeks the other fist wrapped tightly around the shoulder of Joe’s t-shirt.
“I’m her mom. Lily, what happened?”
“Some boys pushed me.” It starts the tears again, but Joe eases Lily over to her mother.
“My son said he saw it happen,” Joe informs. “She’s got a few shallow cuts on her knee from the fall.”
There’s the crunch of the mulch and Joe spots Domme approaching with a first aid kit in hand. She rubs over his back—just a couple circles—and Joe understands what that means, Domme’s got this from there. He turns, locations Roslyn watching from the top of the playhouse, and she points, a furious jab. “You okay up there, Ros?” Joe asks.
“Yes, Daddy. I’m fine. But Jack Jack, get to Jack Jack!"
Joe starts scanning the children in the direction of Roslyn’s point and only a few feet from him, Joe spots Jack. It’s less of a walk and more of a stalk. Like he does to his room when the house is too noisy sometime and he’s exhausted of everything, a fierce determination painted into his tiny gait. He means business, storming over to the jungle gym area.
“Oh shit,” Joe murmurs to himself.
“I saw you push her!” Jack hollers out. Joe’s heart races as he watches. “You cannot lie to me. I saw you and that was very mean. You hurt her. You’ve been mean to everyone here! Where are your parents?”
“Oh, so you’re a tattle tale too?” The ring leader bellows back.
“Eventually,” Jack returns close enough now to the group that Joe’s hoping he’ll still have time to intervene should this start going south. Joe’s shuffled in closer, keeping his distance, wants Jack to handle this somewhat on his own before Joe steps in. Jack’s usually pretty good with his words. So Joe’s less worried.
But maybe he should be worried. Jack swings. Arm cocked back with ease and fires off the punch with all his might.
Joe shouldn’t reward this behavior. He shouldn’t even feel the pride at Jack’s return of violence. But sue Joe, he is proud of his kid for sticking up for what he believes is right, for standing up to someone who is being mean for seemingly no real reason. Joe’s proud too of Jack’s form. Which is not the point at all. But it’s there, Jack’s got a solid fighting stance, which Joe himself has not taught him. Joe briefly wonders if it was Ja’Marr or Tee that taught Jack.
However, this is going to be a fight that Jack is definitely going to lose. Joe scurries over, turning his light steps into a jog. Jack’s punch does connect, catches the kind in the stomach but the other older boys are more than ready to descend. One grabs Jack by the collar of his shirt, arm reared back until Joe slides in behind Jack. The shadow of Joe’s height casts gloomy clouds over the entire group. The hold on Jack drops and so does the incoming punch without ever landing.
“Mister, this kid hit me. I didn’t do anything to him,” the ring leader cries.
“I heard you pushed a little girl off the slide,” Joe counters. “Is it true?”
“He punched me and I didn’t do anything to him!” The older boy repeats again, incredulous that he’s not being immediately believed.
“Did you or did you not push that little girl off the slide?” Joe’s voice is firm, but his hands settle onto Jack’s shoulders.
“He did, Dad. I saw him do it,” Jack answers.
“Thank you. Now, I will need an explanation on why you hit him, if you did, and an apology as necessary. But first, we’re going to settle this conversation about this little girl.”
And they do. The older boy confesses to pushing the little girl. Jack explains that he’d been tripped earlier by the older kid, told said kid to stop picking on people smaller than him. Jack then watched the older kid and his friends continue to terrorize others that didn’t stick up for themselves so Jack tried to get the other kids to say something.
“But the other kids were too scared,” Jack huffs, still not upset by the fact. “So, I was going to get you, Dad. I swear I was. And right when I went to go and leave the slides, they pushed that little girl. And then I just—I was angry. Very very angry that he kept hurting other people thinking it was funny. It’s not funny, at all. It hurts. A lot. And I don’t know, Dad. I wasn’t myself when I punched him and I know it wasn’t right. And not being myself doesn’t matter because I did it anyway. I could’ve stopped myself. So I am sorry,” Jack offers, “for punching you. And not getting an adult first to help. But you weren’t being nice at all.”
_________________________
Joe remembers that day on the playground rather fondly whenever asked about it. Though, that is the inciting incident for Joe and Domme to look into some kind of sport for Jack to work and redirect his anger through, to give him a little bit more discipline. It lands Jack in karate for a few years—throughout the rest of elementary and the entirety of middle school. By high school, Jack turns to dance and music, which Joe wasn’t expecting. Nevertheless, Joe shows up to the recitals, listens to every poorly plucked guitar string like it’s Slasher.
That is until Jack gets really good and then Joe has to admit, sometimes, he’ll sit outside Jack’s door just to listen to his boy play. The boy absolutely shreds on the guitar. There’s a surge in Joe’s chest when he goes to performances and talent shows. Jack looks so confident, so at ease on stage where he’s much more reserved when he’s not performing.
When Jack’s still young, around 13, there’s still the excitement when he nails a cool riff, or something difficult where Jack will scurry through the house, guitar slapping at his back, “Ma! Dad! Come here!”
And come, do they. Joe and Domme pause whatever it is they’re doing and find Jack beaming. “Listen, listen, listen!”
It’s the Burrow spirit—through and through—with Jack Jack and music. Joe will come back inside from being outside with Roslyn, both of them dripping with sweat from her lacrosse drills, to see Jack sitting on the counter, Domme fussing over his hands, a first aid kit cracked open and the innards of said kit splayed out. There’s a twinkle of tags and Joe know they’ll end right in front of Roslyn at her feet, but Joe does take the brief moment to scratch at the top of the furry head. A pur, nearly too soft to hear, shakes up through his fingers.
“I had a feeling those cuts would re-open.” Domme’s careful with her words because Joe remembers the conversation. He’s caught Domme and Jack in identical placements just a couple weeks ago about the same thing too. But Joe can hear the frustration that’s simmering underneath her statement.
“They’re battle scars in a way,” Jack laughs with a shrug.
“Alright,” Domme hums, her laughter bubbling as she presses down on the sides of the bandaid, “you’re too much like your father right now. And Ros with her ankle, I normally have nerves of steel, but not anymore. I’m not going to have any nerves left with the house full of you all. None. Do you want that for your mother? No nerves?”
Jack laughs before looping his arm around her shoulders. “Mom, you’ll have plenty of nerves. Who else is going to scream at the coaches during Ros’ games?”
“That’s if she gets off her ban,” Roslyn tacks on taking the towel Joe hands her to wipe her face and arms off with. The ban isn’t real, all imposed by Roslyn, but Domme treats it like it is—acting on her best behavior from the bleachers instead of on the sidelines with Joe.
Joe’s not immune to a gripe or two, or a grumble about things he’s seeing on the field or in the coaching staff. However, he knows what it’s like to be on the other end of these scenarios, to be the kid praying their parents don’t embarrass them. So while most of the time he does agree with Domme’s complaints, Joe takes a calmer approach, no less loud in his own right, but leagues better than Domme’s vocal complaints about the coaching and the ref.
Jack presses a kiss to Domme’s temples before slipping off the counter. “Thanks for patching me up. I’ll be back. Same time next week.”
“And I’ll still be here,” she agrees softly. “I’ll be charging you next time.”
“That’s what you said last time. But alas, no bill.”
“Oh, well,” Domme laughs with a shrug. “Son discount must still be in effect."
Later on, after dinner’s been consumed and plates have been washed, dried, and returned back to the cabinet, Joe’s climbing up the stairs to the bedroom—where he suspects given the quiet Domme’s probably already curled up under the sheets—and catches the strumming through Jack’s ajar door and nods to himself, with a tiny smile. “That’s my boy.”
___________________________
Joe and Jack are close, let’s not be fooled. They talk about sports at times. Jack’s absorbed what he can from his father, watching film side by side, nodding, offering up his thoughts between the bouts of silence as Joe prepares for the coaching week ahead. It’s how they bound aside from Jack’s music, and talking lyrics and musicians. It’s a quiet meditative practice the both of them shoulder to shoulder, talking softly to each other, sometimes laughing.
Domme’s watched from the kitchen room, shaking her head when the conversation gets going. “He’s going to cut,” Jack murmurs.
“Just keep watching.”
Something happens, she doesn’t see what, just hears, “No way! How’d he manager that? His release is insane!”
Joe laughs. “I do know a thing or two about this.”
“Clearly,” Jack teases and the room grows quiet again for another minute or so.
Jack comes to Joe about his first crush too, a quiet and shy, “Dad, can we talk?”
“Absolutely,” Joe answers, putting his files aside. Jack shuffles further into the office and then plops down on the couch. “Everything okay?”
“Yeah, everything’s fine, Dad. I just don’t want Mom to freak out so I’m telling you first to help ease the blow.”
The fact that Jack’s worried about Domme’s reaction makes Joe assume it’s about a girl, so he nods, stands up and ease the door closed. Slow as to not make too much noise and alert Domme. “You can tell whatever you need, whenever you need to say it.”
Joe settles next to Jack on the couch, but doesn’t push in too close, doesn’t try to make Jack speak sooner than he’s ready. But Jack exhales. “So there’s this girl,” he starts, peering up as if to asses Joe’s reaction.
Joe only nods. “Okay. There’s a girl.” But Joe’s already anticipating what will come next, that Jack likes her, that his little boy’s actually grown up.
“You’re strangely calm.” Jack’s suspicion narrows his eyes.
“I mean, you’re allowed to be interested in a girl. I assume that’s where this is going.”
“And if it’s not always a girl?” Jack presses on.
That--that Joe is not anticipating, but he nods. “You’re allowed to be interested in anyone, Jack. I will love you no matter what. Mom will love you no matter what. We’re always in your corner, son. Always.”
“It is a girl, this time, just for the record. But it wasn’t before.”
“I’m sorry if we did anything that made you feel like you had to hide that from us.”
Jack shakes his head. “No, you and Mom didn’t. But I guess I was scared last year when I realized that I sort of liked him like that. I didn’t know what it meant and then it sort of went away when I realized when he was a dick to someone else in our class. So, I figured not to worry you until I was sure. But now there’s Lisa, and I like her the same way I liked him, so, yeah, now we’re here.”
“Sort of hit you that the feelings were the same and now where are you?”
“I don’t know what to call it. Or how to tell Mom. I don’t want anyone to look at my differently.”
“No, kid,” Joe reassures, opening up his arm to Jack. Jack slides in, pressed in closed to Joe’s ribs. “No one’s going to look at you different. You don’t have to call it anything if you don’t look comfortable and if it helps, I can tell Mom for you.”
“She’s not going to flip?”
Joe shakes his head. He and Domme would be hard pressed to freak out about anything of the sort. “No, she won’t.”
“I’d like to tell her. When the time’s right, I guess.”
“Sure thing. Ball’s in your court on that. But I appreciate you telling me. That’s brave.”
Jack winds up telling Domme the next day on the drive home to school. She pulls over into the parking lot of a shopping center and turns around in the seat. Jack’s fidgeting with his nails, a habit she’s seen in Joe too. “Hey, look at me, bud,” Domme coaxes gently, waiting for his gaze to float up. “Thank you. For telling me. It seems like that was hard. But I appreciate it. I need you to know that I love you. No matter what. All the time. Forever. Even when I die, I’ll love you.”
Jack huffs, eyes rolling. “You’re being dramatic.”
“No, I’m being honest, Jackson. I love you dearly. So much.”
Jack talks to Joe about school and life. Sometimes, once Jack is older, and he can’t sleep, Jack will find Joe—most often in his office or in the living room if it’s late enough, and most often around Domme— and ask, “Dad, can we just, like, talk?”
“Yeah, of course.”
And they talk about what Jack wants out of life and how sometimes Jack feels lost. “I don’t know. People compare me to you, you know? And it’s a little terrifying,” Jack confesses, quietly. The two of them are staring up at the sky, Joe leaning into his palms. Jack leaning into the railing of the deck.
It’s a warm summer night. There’s the crickets of the night singing around them, a harmonious noise that falls into the background of their conversation—never an intrusion, but always present.
“I don’t need you to be me.” Which is true, even if it took Joe a little bit to learn that himself. “You weren’t put on this earth to be me.”
“But I don’t know what I’m meant to do. It’s scary. You just, like, knew. I love music, you know. But it doesn’t feel practical.”
Joe’s quiet, for a long moment, chewing on the inside of his bottom lip. The need for a practical lifestyle is no doubt from Domme, and from the realities of Joe’s life impacting Jack’s younger years too. But Jack’s still allowed to dream big, shoot for the stars, because if he misses Joe and Domme will still be there to catch him should he fall. “You’re sixteen, Jack. You’re going to try a thousand things and I think you should try things, and have them not work out. Try things that you think won’t work out, that don’t feel practice and other things that do feel practical. It helps builds character. You’ve lived life that way and you’ll, like, know that you lived. Have stories to tell. We’ll always be here for you. I’ll always be here for you.”
“What if I wind up in plumbing?”
“Then I want you to be the best damn plumber you can be.”
“So you’re saying you’ll still love me even if I unclog toilets?”
Joe laughs, hears so much of Domme in the jest. “Yes, Jack, I’ll love you no matter what. Unclogging toilets, clogging toilets, or whatever else you decide to do in your life.”
“It was one time, Dad.”
“No, it’s one time that you can remember. But you definitely did take your sister’s diapers before she was fully potty trained and tried to flush it down the toilet.”
“Okay, so by some accounts, twice. But I appreciate it, Dad. You just listening helps.”
“Any time, any place.”
________________
Make no mistake, Jack is a momma’s boy at the end of the day. When he’s younger, around 3 or so, he mimics Joe’s mannerisms to Domme. There’s plenty of videos on Joe’s phone saved of Domme recording the ceiling or the kitchen counter and Jack’s soft toddler voice can be heard, “Mamas, you look beautiful today,” or “There she is, the sun,” or “My gorgeous wife, my amazing Mamas.”
Jack helps Domme cook, which started out as him standing up taking a blunt plastic practice knife to help cut bananas or helping her stir things together. His little hands help her pour. But then grows into him stirring while the pot boils, which turns into him browning meat and chopping vegetables. And Jack’s the only person that Domme can handle in the kitchen with her to cook together. She has more patience, even when Joe can tell she’s dead tired. Joe’s not sure what it is, but it is magic watching them.
Jack seeks Domme out when he gets rejected from someone or had a hard day. There’s never even any words, just Jack, even though he’s shot past Domme, curling into the sofa next to her, head on her shoulder. Her arms winding around his shoulders with ease, a kiss to Jack’s temple. Easy, and damn near effortless.
If Jack wants something, he knows he can go to Domme first and then Domme will take it to Joe, and she can usually plead his case. It’s rare that it doesn’t work, and in those cases, it’s usually Domme who’s supposedly pleading Jack’s case that doesn’t get it off the ground. Jack eying a 2.5k guitar was one of those rare times that even with the soft spot Domme has for Jack, she can’t justify it. And Joe can’t either, so they deliver the bad news together and Jack takes it in strides. “Mom said something similar. I just wanted to try.”
But Jack does not get it easy. He’s learning how to do his laundry by about age 10/11. He can’t bat his eyelashes all he wants at Domme just to get what he wants, or to get out of chores, even if he tries. Moments where Jack definitely tries her. “I swear Ros can get whatever she wants. But I can’t. It’s not fair, Mom. I want to hang out with my friends.”
“Jackson, I recognize seeing this movie is important. However, we told you two weeks ago that we were visiting your grandparents out of town. Was that not enough advance notice?”
“I mean, like, yes, it is. But these plans just came up. Just this once, Mom. Please. I don’t want to be left out. Everyone else is going to see it without me and then they’re going to spoil it.”
“Why that specific weekend? Can another weekend not work? You’ve picked good friends. I’m sure they would at least hear you out.”
“Mom, please!” Jack huffs, voice pitching up. “You’re being difficult for like no reason! I can handle one weekend by myself!”
“Jackson, you’re not talking to her that way. Not if I’ve got anything to do with it,” Joe intervenes. He’d been watching from the threshold of the kitchen, pressed up into the arch that leads from the living room into the kitchen, behind Jack the entire time. “That’s my wife and your mother you’re talking to the last time I checked. We don’t talk like that to each other in this house and you know this. Why don’t you take a time out?”
“C’mon! I’m not asking for anything fucking earth shattering.”
“Excuse me?” The phrase is echoed between Joe and Domme.
The scowl etched deeply into Joe’s face isn’t as scary as it used to be for Jack, but when Jack sees it, the sheer and utter crack of his mother’s face he knows the line’s been crossed. Horror and disappointment and her chin wobbles ever so slightly. He’s gone way too far. Way too far. Way, way too fucking far. “Can I still take that time out?”
“Smart idea,” Joe responds, nodding to confirm that Jack can excuse himself.
Jack hopes, as he turns, that his face says what he doesn’t articulate, that he is sorry. But he is still frustrated, but he recognizes that he absolutely took it too far. But she’s not looking at him anymore. Facing the fridge now with her back to him. Somehow that hurts worse, or maybe it picks at the gaping wound. Jack’s not sure.
Jack pauses at the stairs, catching just barely to his father’s voice. “Hey, mamas, look at me, please.”
“I don’t want to be mean. Am I being too harsh?”
“Hey, hey, no, no. You’re not being too hard. But please, don’t cry. Or do, if you need. Just give yourself a second, my love. I think we all just need a second.”
“Saying no to him sucks because I know he’s a good kid. But I just—I don’t know where it went wrong.” The words shake as they’re spoken. Jack can imagine his mother’s distressed frown. Not one she wears often, but Jack remembers the few times he’s seen it. His chest squeezes.
“I know you want to give him the world. But we have rules for a reason. If he wants to ignore them, then he has to deal with the consequences.”
“I just—” The next words never fall, swallowed up by the heave from his mother. It’s such a broken sound to hear his mother sob. Shit, he was being a dick. His parents did tell him weeks ago. Jack was trying to get his friends to get a more solid plan together earlier in regards to seeing the film within the first two weekends of its release to avoid spoilers. Fuck, he really shouldn’t have snapped at her.
“I know, Mamas, I know. Breath with me, okay?” Joe returns.
Jack carries on to his room, but the entire time he ascends the stairs, he wishes the sound of his mother’s crying could somehow be overwritten in his brain.
Someone can threaten to tell Joe about something Jack’s done, which can be useful and can strike fear into Jack’s heart, but his mother—oh do not tell his mother or even threaten to tell his mother. That does put true fear into his heart. Jack’s struggling with math, though he’s good at it, the first year he’s in the advanced math courses, he feels like he’s drowning. He’s scared to tell Joe, because how lame would it be to have to go to his dad for help. He’s not sure how to broach the topic with his mom, because it sounds so stupid to be good at all the other math he’d been in but can’t pick this up.
But he gets a D on the first test and the teacher basically warns Jack, “I see you’re getting the homework pretty okay, but this first test feels like something’s disconnected for you. I’d like to reach out to your parents and set up a meeting. Your mom—”
“Please, no.”
“Jack, I just want to set you up for success. Look, if you get help early, you’ll do well in this class. I don’t have to call immediately. But when we meet again, I need a note from either parent about setting up a meeting to look at your options. If you don’t have one by our next class, I will email.”
So Jack when Domme picks him up that evening, sighs, head hung on his shoulders. “You okay, Jack Jack?”
The question is soft from his mother’s lips. The car doesn’t move and not even an inch and Jack was hoping, praying that she’d take off before they had to have this conversation. “I got a D on that pre-calculus test.”
“Okay. How do you feel?”
No panic, and well, his mother’s rarely truly panicked, except for sports games that he or Roslyn are a part of. Though he’s heard the stories of the few times his dad took a few particularly nasty hits on the field that left her more rattled than usual. But still, at this point, nerves of steel are just her usual nerves. “Bad. I feel stupid.”
“You’re allowed to struggle.”
“I don’t like struggling.”
“No one does, honey.”
“The teacher wants to talk about my options in order to pass the class.”
“I’ll email them. Your dad’s not terrible at this stuff, if you feel safe enough to ask him.”
“But—,” Jack stops himself. His father may be busy, but how much of that is the truth. How much of that covers up the fact that Jack would rather hide his shame? “But he’s busy sometimes. And I don’t want to bother him.”
“Jack Jack, he’s your dad before he’s literally anything else. If you need help from him, I know for a fact he would drop everything to do it. Do you remember the time you were, about 6? Maybe 7? And that little girl was pushed off the slide?”
Jack nods, though the memory’s 8 years old now. “I do. I remember I started a fight with a kid like three years older than me too.”
The car finally starts to give the gear shift now in drive versus park. “That part is also true. But you called an orange alert. Joe cleared that playground in seconds. He was in the middle of eating and he dropped everything into my lap. I mean, sandwich was barely wrapped back up before it was in my lap, the bread was sliding off the meat. I think the bread did fall off now that I think about it. I’m pretty sure we went to McDonalds because he was hungry by the time we left the park.”
“We did, because I wanted ice cream and you and dad lectured me on the fact that while I could have ice cream it was not a reflection of praise for getting into a fight.”
“Damn straight. And it never will be. But like I was saying, he was there, when you needed him. Without second thought. It’s okay to need us and it’s okay to not want to need us all the time. But we are here. I’ll email your teacher to see what we can do—tutoring and the like. But for now, if you need, we can ask your dad together.”
“But wait, Dad was eating?” Jack had no clue that his father was in the middle of anything when he called that orange alert. Just knew that the little girl was hurt and that a parent needed to be involved as quickly as possible. “I thought he was just, like, sitting there.”
She hums, eyes focused on the road ahead of them. “He was indeed eating.”
And it doesn’t hit Jack fully then, the extent of his parent’s actions, how much they both have given everything into him and Roslyn, but when it does hit him—decades later—he’s entirely grateful to have the parents he did. For parents that showed up, bone tired and all. For the care that they always showed him.
______________________
On his first real date, that Jack can drive to and pick the person up from, Jack asks for Domme’s help on what he should wear and Joe’s help on the flowers. “You buy them for Mom all the time and I’d like an expert opinion.”
“We got you, not a problem,” Joe grins, but his heart is hammering in his throat watching his boy grow up. After Jack backs out of the driveway, Joe buries his face into Domme’s neck. Not to hide the tears, but to ground himself, to remind himself this is what it’s all about.
“It feels like just yesterday, he was staring up in awe in the backseat of the SUV going through the carwash for the first time,” Domme whispers.
“Oh god,” Joe laughs, recalling the memory of Jack at three months, gaping mouth and wide eyes from the video, his binky falling out due to the lack of Jack's toothless suction. “He was so enamored by it.”
“And now look at him.”
“Yeah, they grow up fast, don’t they?”
“Too fast,” Domme whispers. Her voice is thick and Joe winds his arms tighter around her. “But I’m proud of him.”
Roslyn Aster Burrow
Nickname(s): Ros, Astroid (only for her lacrosse team)
Born: August 15th
Youngest child
____________________________
“Okay, buddy, Dad is not on the menu today. Promise you we’re going to eat here in just a second.”
Those are words that, in a different world, should be followed with laughter or another quip about how she can certainly put Joe on the menu. Yet instead, all that falls from Domme’s lips in a soft exhale are two words, “I’m pregnant.”
“Pregnant?” Joe questions just as soft, still fighting back on the rather ruthless and relentless gummy nibble of Jack. It is close to his normal lunch time, so Jack’s attempts at cannibalism make sense. However, at her utterance, Joe seemingly gives up the fight and reaches now for the stick in her hands. There on the digital screen the word: Pregnant will greet Joe just like it greeted Domme. All in an unfazed digital block, in all black—all undeniable.
They’d been careful—for the first six months or so, but the older Jack got and the more they engrained into a routine, the more time Joe had to think, the more time the two of them had to converse, the more naturally they fell into a rhythm of less caution. Domme wasn’t breastfeeding. It was harder than she thought and she constantly fought against clogged ducts and pain—emotional and physical— to a point of near madness. Though it frustrated her not to be able to breastfeed like she planned, it was Joe that sat her down and told her that it was better for her to show up and give her best than to worry about showing up perfect. That he and Jack would take her exactly as she is, not for some lofty abstract idea that would surely crumble the second it was put to water. Her presence mattered more than perfection. So any natural lines of defense that breastfeeding might give her on avoiding pregnancy again were shelved.
Now, they’re here just a month shy of Jack’s first birthday, a month and some change past the first prickling feeling in Domme’s chest that she might be pregnant again. Her period’s been rather evasive, but had just seemingly returned right before the small pinprick of suspicion. “Holy shit, you’re pregnant again,” Joe laughs, casting his gaze between her and the test.
“5 cents,” Domme’s rebuttal is automatic and then she reaches for the test again. Because there’s no way it’s real. Yet, the screen reads like it did just a minute ago: Pregnant. “Holy shit.”
“5 cents,” Joe mutters in response. “How do you feel? You’re not saying much. Which is very much not like you.”
Domme doesn’t know really what to say, brain still trying to connect the dots back up again. She’s actually pregnant. A second time. Not that they’d been actively trying to avoid the possibility. But not that that’d necessarily planned for it right now. “Is it a bad time?”
The frown falls fast over Joe’s face, brows knitted together. “No, it’s not a bad time.” But of course, Joe would say that. Because the truth of the matter is that there’s no perfect time to get pregnant with the way their lives work. Something would inevitably come up. There’s only now, the present.
But something about it just feels too far to touch. “You swear that’s real?” Domme asks.
The test comes back briefly into view but she’s watching Joe, trying to remind herself that this is real because Joe’s real. Because it’s his body heat seeping in through the long-sleeved shirt. It’s their bathroom they’re standing in. It’s their baby boy reaching for her, that Joe keeps at bay in his grasp.
“As real as the pee you stuck it in.”
Somehow that’s the thing that unravels the worry. Domme snorts, pressing her face into Joe’s chest, her laughter shaking her shoulder. It’s all real. Her eyes sting. The tears are warm but god, is she thrilled. Another baby. One more bundle of joy. “I hope it’s a girl,” she laughs through the tears. “I really hope it’s a girl.”
Joe melts beneath her touch. “Yeah? You’re okay?”
“More than okay. I just had to compute it all.”
“I get that. I hope it’s a baby girl too. I’m here for you, every step of the way, alright? Not going to go a step anywhere else.”
Jack Jack’s pregnancy was new, and challenging as Joe juggled the season on top of being there for appointments, putting together the nursery, attending the baby shower, handling the strange cravings, the mood swings. Here, now, there will be the majority of the pregnancy that Joe’s not focused on football. He’s never made her feel secondary in that, but it’ll be nice to know that aside from one baby, Joe will have a little less on his plate at the start. They have experience which helps too no more than ever.
Domme believes every word Joe whispers into her temple—that he’s going to be there. Because he’s not once shown her that she’d need to believe otherwise.
_______________________
Roslyn’s baby shower is quite theatrical. Jackson’s baby shower had been fun with Joe and Domme being team captains for the day. Joe voted girl. Domme voted boy. The teams for the games were divided based on people’s guesses. They’d slip a guess into a ballot box, collect a pin with their guess for the respective gender. A running tally was kept for the teams of who won, a thing they could’ve gone without but it made Domme giggle to see the quiet and swift stroke of determination in Joe when it was announced her team was in the lead by one game. But really, it’s not her fault that her teams were able to get the diaper made out of toilet paper faster than his. The festivities concluded with a dramatic reading of each person’s vote for the gender, canisters of flower petals in everyone’s hand—most white, but the two canisters Joe and Domme held contained either pink or blue petals to denote the gender. Their day ended with a pop! A cloud of white cut by two streaks of blue revealing the gender.
Roslyn’s baby shower is less classic in that regard. They’re not as afraid to be unconventional now. But it’s Domme that asks if Joe would want a Draft style gender reveal, that they’d have custom hats made like the players do for their teams they’re drafted. The purpose wouldn't be to make the whole event football related, but they’d have someone with the envelope for the reveal and a banner. To make a whole thing of Ja’Marr placing a chain on Joe. Something fun that would stick with Joe forever, even if she knows that he wouldn’t really care much either way.
“But the games won’t be football related right?”
“Not unless we want them to be.”
“You like the classic baby shower games, so we’ll keep a couple,” Joe insists.
“You want to enact revenge for the diaper challenge, don’t you?” Domme asks with a grin.
“Damn straight I do. I’ve been strategizing.”
They don’t have ‘teams’ like last time for the whole shower—as both Domme and Joe have a feeling it’s a girl. But when it comes to the competition, they do split the guests up between them again as team captains. Joe manages to pull the win out for the diapers, but Domme manages to secure the ‘Don’t Say Baby’ challenge—which her team failed to win last time. They manage to end in a draw—two wins for each of them in their games.
“Proud of my team,” Domme states, “hope you’re proud of yours.” She extends her hand out for a shake, attempting to cut the divide.
Joe shakes his head, his grin bright. “I am proud of them, but I don’t know what you think you’re doing. None of that,” Joe hums, slipping his arm around her waist. It’s a chaste kiss, a soft press of their lips as they both grin into the action. “But I’m happier that it’s to you, even if I don’t love losing.”
“Technically, you did not lose.”
“Well, I didn’t win that’s for sure.”
“Okay, lovebirds, y’all already got two kids because of that mess,” Ja’Marr interjects. “Now, if I could have everyone’s attention, please,” he shouts. The music that’d been softly playing turns down and the group quiets. All eyes turn to Ja’Marr. Beside him, Tee stands, a box in his hand. Ja’Marr holds an all black envelope that reads NFL Draft 2030 in white.
While Joe and Domme don’t know the sex, Ja’Marr does. His grin is sly as he ushers them both closer. It feels like trouble, but Joe tries not to think about that, that somehow Ja’Marr’s done something about this reveal. Joe takes her hand, thumb passing over the skin. “Still think it’s a girl?” Joe asks.
Domme’s less worried about that now—she thinks. It’s much more important that they welcome a healthy baby than anything else. But if she had to guess, it’s a girl. “Yes. You?”
Joe hums at the question. They pause at her parents, who are holding a slightly fussy Jackson, his soft, “Daddy!” clear to Joe’s ears.
Jack stretches out for them and Joe takes him. “Oh, buddy, we’re right here. Want to come with us?” Joe coos. Jack nods. “Alright, let’s see what Uncle Ja’Marr and Uncle Tee have planned.”
Joe does want a girl—perhaps he’d always envisioned himself with a daughter, or maybe it’s just the fresh hope that makes him picture life with one boy and one girl—an equation in life that Joe didn’t have. Much like he didn’t have siblings that were closer to him in age, a thing he wants to ensure for his kids, that they have each other, even if there is sure to be growing pains as they get older. In any event, Joe takes Domme’s hand again before he answers her question, “I hope so. A boy’s great too, you know? Either way, doesn’t matter really.”
It doesn’t matter, really. Their baby is still loved regardless of what the gender is. The three of them climb up onto the tiny platform. The podium is decorated like the one for the draft. Even though Joe’s content however this plays out, there’s still a spike of nerves that hits Joe’s gut as he stands there next to Domme. Would he make a good dad for a girl? Does the gender of the baby really change anything about the way he plans to be a dad?
Joe’s palms grow just a little wet as Ja’Marr speaks. “Before we do this, I do want to say, Joe, I’m incredibly proud of the man you’ve become, the husband you are, the father you are. You inspire me in a lot of ways to do better for myself and my family. I’m honored that you have trusted me enough to do this for you and your wife. But thank the heavens, we get to reveal this now because it’s been the hardest secret to keep of my entire life.”
The group laughs, shorts bursts and Joe nods, his chest tightening at the praise from his friend. It means a lot to be seen, to know that even after all these years, there’s still something left in him that others look up too. “Thank you,” Joe returns softly, unsure if it’s heard by the crowd but Ja’Marr hears it.
“Now, without further ado, with the first round draft pick for the 2030 season,” Ja’Marr starts, cracking open into the envelope. He keeps the page tucked into his chest, hardly glances at it before he grins over at Joe and Domme.
Domme squeezes at Joe’s hand and he squeezes back, her It’s about to real returned with Joe’s I’m right here. It’s all okay.
Ja’Marr continues on, “the Burrow’s select: a baby,” Ja’Marr pauses and it kills Joe. Like a shot to his heart, Joe swears he’ll die at the fifteen seconds of silence. “Girl,” Ja’Marr concludes and Tee cracks open the box—three pinks hats staring back at them.
There’s shock, of course. The half a second between Joe seeing the hat and then registering the color. And the moment it connects, the moment Joe feels the neuron fire that confirms the color to the words, Joe spins, finds Domme to his right and hugs her tight. Jack wraps his arms around both of their necks, maybe not fully understanding what’s happening, but knowing that at the very least this is a potential group hug situation. Joe’s eyes sting, vision flooding immediately with tears.
A girl. His baby girl. Fuck, Joe thinks to himself, there’s no way that’s real. But he wants it to be. Joe needs it to be real. “That’s real, right? He said girl?”
“Oh, yes,” Domme laughs. “Yes, he said girl.”
But Joe’s positive he’s hallucinated so he turns again, keeping one arm tight around Domme’s shoulders and Tee’s collecting a hat, pink, with Girl Dad threaded into the front of it. His own baby girl. Joe can feel his grin splitting his cheeks. The excitement buzzing from the bottoms of his feet upwards through the rest of him. Domme slips the hat onto him and he gets her hat onto her head.
“Didn’t forget you, Jack Jack,” Tee laughs, placing a tiny pink cap onto Jack’s head that reads Big Brother. “Never forget my little man. Pound it.” The directive comes before Tee holds up his fist and Jack gives it a gentle tap with his palm. “Now, that’s what I’m talking about.”
Ja’Marr seems more than proud to pass along a chain with the phrase, Girl Dad, dazzling in gold too. “Proud of you, man.”
Later that night, once Jack’s settled in for the night and Domme’s already teetered off into sleep, Joe slips down to her belly, his palm wide and splayed over the bump. “I’m excited to meet you, pumpkin. Going to be there for you and protect you. Promise, baby girl.”
Because now it feels even more pertinent that Joe does those things, that he sets an example for her in what to look for in a man, for what she should and shouldn’t accept. That even as cruel as the world could be in some ways, Joe would always be there.
_____________________
There’s less worry when it comes to Roslyn’s name. Joe and Domme are a bit more aware of the process. There’s less panic. So they take their time on the name topic. They circle around it like one might do laps in a museum, pausing to take it in, and then ultimately moving on to the next thing to pause and take that in too. Leaving with a sense of satisfaction, but mostly simmering in the feeling of having experienced something.
They test names like tasting appetizers, a sprinkle of, “I like Maya, but I think it’s missing something,” and “I wanted to suggest Rina, but it’s too much.” Around and around and around until Domme slides a piece of paper across the table. Joe watches it dazzling in the purple glitter pen Domme insisted on grabbing to write their selections in.
Roslyn is scribbled amongst the list. Various combinations of middle names behind it. But Joe nods. “I really like Roslyn.”
“I think I like Aster as a middle name with Roslyn. Salvia feels too long with Roslyn.”
“Roslyn Salvia,” Joe mutters mostly to himself. “Yeah, not sure. It doesn’t dance like I want to.” He writes it out himself in the same glittery purple pen next to Domme’s attempt. “Poor kid would hate us when filling out documents.”
“Well no one handwrites much anymore, but I get what you're saying.”
“Hey, hey, we’re doing hard science over here. We have to try it out in all sorts of ways, Mamas.” He glances back down at the sheet before speaking again. “Roslyn Aster. Now I love that.” He follows it up with him writing the name. The letters flow better. He continues on with the last name too, Burrow now dazzling on the page.
Joe’s nod is slow but the grin creeps across his lips. “And to think, in just a few short weeks, we’ll get to meet her, Roslyn Aster Burrow. Talk about a star power name.”
“Do you know what asters are?” Domme asks.
Joe doesn't have the foggiest idea what they are. He gives a quick shake no. “I have a feeling you’re going to tell me though.”
“Flowers, specifically purple flowers with yellow centers.”
Domme grins as she answers, eyes soft and gooey in the middle. It’s possibly much too poetic, but Joe melts, knows that it’s Domme’s way of passing on a little bit of his time down in Louisiana, to carry it in such a quiet way just for the two of them. “You’re going to make me cry,” Joe laughs, sounding wet and thick in his throat. Possibly he’s already crying.
“Oh, come here, Papa Bear. I don’t mean to make you cry.”
Joe slides around the kitchen counter, slips right into her open arms and inhales. Joe’s heard that to be loved is to be seen, and no one sees him quite like Domme does. He doesn’t want to be seen by anyone else in this way either. He much rather it be Domme, because only she can call him Papa Bear and have it feel right—it’s only Domme that can nestle into his shoulder and press those feather light kisses that make his stomach flutter just a little.
It’s only Domme that Joe can see as the mother of his children and God, is Joe blessed to have that as reality too.
––––––––––––––––––––––––––
Domme’s water breaks later in the evening with Roslyn. In the midst of trying to do one last round of stretches before bed, her deep exhale is paired with the unmistakable feeling of something warm and wet.
“Did you just pee on me?” Joe laughs. He’s had his fair share of dodging urine, and sometimes failing to dodge it too with Jack Jack’s diaper changes. Besides, given the toll pregnancy takes, he’d never hold the involuntary release against her if it happened. It still shocks Joe, but it’s easily overlooked. It’s not something a washer and a good steam cleaner for the carpet can’t get out.
“No, at least, I don’t think so.” The mysterious dampness doesn’t smell like urine when Domme takes a caution swipe at her inner thigh and raises the digits to her nose. “Definitely not pee.”
Both of them seemingly move without much more prompting—now that it’s clearly not urine. It has a higher likelihood of being the warning sign, the first step in a rather lengthy process that is birth. Joe stands first and helps Domme up. “Baby girl’s early,” Joe notes, a hand creeping its way down to Domme’s lower back.
“Or right on time. Her due date was a bit of a guess to begin with since I hadn’t truly gotten my period fully back.”
Joe nods, finding his phone on the nightstand. His fingers dial for his parents instinctively. They have time. Again, now with one baby already here, there’s less worry about the total unknown, and more focus on executing the necessary steps. One foot in front of the other. Calling Joe’s parents, making sure Jack’s all good before they leave. His mother and father weren’t due to come for their stay for another week and a half.
Robin doesn’t panic, but her voice is urgent as Joe tells her the news. “I’m getting into the car right now. Your dad’s behind me with our bags. But yes, I’m on the way.”
“Just remember to breathe, Mom,” Joe laughs.
“I’m not the one that needs to breathe. She does!”
“She is,” he agrees, watching as Domme rocks her weight back and forth on her feet. “We’ll see you when you get here. Thanks again for doing this, Mom.”
“Anytime.”
The couple hours doesn’t feel as long as either one of them anticipated. It helps though that as Domme walks laps around the house, Joe’s there, the baby monitor to Jack Jack’s room clipped to the waist of pants, his wide palm warm over her back. It’s not even a terrible two hours. The bags have been packed for a few weeks now, since Domme crossed the 32 week mark. Both Domme and Joe know what they’ll need, lots of snacks, birthing plans, legal papers, their prenup, extra blankets and pillows, spare washcloths, the birthing ball, chargers, speaker for the dance playlist, a deck of cards, nerf guns (single shooters that Domme keeps close by for post birth because once Joe finally falls asleep, he will be down for the count and is pretty unresponsive to his name—which is fair, Domme won’t lie, but when she wants his attention she doesn’t feel like having to wait for a nurse to wake him), eye masks to help block out the lights, and a change of clothes for their release.
The time it takes for Joe’s parents to arrive is really spent huddled together, soft whispers, the almost silent peel of bare feet over the floors. “What are you feeling now?” Joe questions, arms looped around her shoulders as they sway in the kitchen.
“Just pressure. Not pain pain, just a few aches. Less nerves too.”
“You sort of already know what to anticipate. Just lean into me whenever you need it, okay? I’ve got you.”
“Thank you, baby,” she whispers it softly into his chest, palms sliding over his spine.
Joe can’t tell if it’s for his comfort or hers, but he allows it before dropping a kiss to the top of her head. “Of course, Mamas. Let me know when you want something to eat too. That Mediterranean place will be closed by the time we leave.”
Domme’s groan is playful, her shoulders bouncing with her round of laughter. “I really wanted that chicken bowl too.”
“I can make you a chicken bowl. That’s not a problem. But you’re definitely eating before we leave. I can’t believe they starve you in that place. Cruel and unusual punishment.”
“But you get fed.”
“I know, but it’s still cruel and unusual. Hurts my heart.” And Joe doesn’t just mean about her not eating while he can. He means the whole ordeal. His whole chest tightens when each time Domme hisses. Joe is sure his heart could break watching her, listening to the long sustained groan of her pain.
Robin’s knock is frantic though against the front door. Joe gives Domme’s hand one last squeeze before leaving her at the counter to finish the last of her chicken and rice bowl. “You are being very nonchalant about all this,” she laughs in greeting.
“We’re prepared,” Joe reassures. The lights blink from the SUV and his father works up the driveway with their bags over his shoulder. His mother makes a rather direct line straight into the kitchen and Joe helps with the last of the few feet with the bags.
“This baby girl of yours likes to run the show her way, it appears,” Jimmy teases.
“It’d appear that way. Was the drive okay?”
“Pretty dead at midnight so I’d reckon that’s as good as it’s going to get.”
Joe and Domme are ushered out by his parents, a firm reassurance that they’ve got Jack all squared away. Just before Joe helps Domme into the passenger seat, she pauses, taking at his hip. “Papa Bear, I think you need to leave that behind.”
Still clipped to the waistband of his pajama pants is the baby monitor. Joe huffs a laugh before releasing the plastic clip. “Forgot it was on. He hasn’t been fussy tonight.”
“Maybe he knows.”
“Or maybe he exhausted himself with his marathon right before bed,” Joe returns. “I think he could be a track star sometimes. Come with me, I’m not leaving you out here by yourself in the middle of labor.”
“But it’s so many steps,” Domme whines. It’s silence with a stern raise of his brows. “Fine. Your dad face is very hot, by the way.”
“I think that just happens to be my face in general, but I will accept this compliment.”
Jimmy’s comment about Roslyn doing things her way at first just seems like a tease, a jest at how she’d arrived a little earlier than predicted. But it turns out to be a prophecy. Domme manages to dilate to about 4 centimeters before they even arrive to the hospital and then it plateaus for hours and hours on end.
That is until there’s conversations surrounding medicinal interventions—which seem like the next best option given other concerns the doctors bring up too. And just as Domme goes to agree to it, things progress—4 centimeters turns into 7 and 7 into 10 in a matter of a few hours. As if Roslyn needed all the attention on her before she could make a grand entrance.
Joe’s by Domme’s side, hands intertwined as he helps support her head. “You’re doing amazing, Mamas. Okay? Keep breathing for me.”
One push turns into two, and two pushes turn into the piercing cry. A sharp and huffy sound as if to say, I have arrived. Joe watches the nurses take Roslyn after he cuts the umbilical cord and then turns to Domme, taking the end of the washcloth they brought and dipping it into the slightly melted ice. Her hair stuck to her forehead, her breathing labored and huffy from the exertion, but he daps the cold water over her forehead and cheek. Roslyn’s cry has softened now and Joe assumes she’s probably warmer now, or soaking up the attention as the nurses coo at her.
“Proud of you, baby. So proud,” he whispers.
“Thank you.”
Joe continues to dab around her face, even dabbing the cool damp cloth to her chest beneath the gown too. Soon the chills will settle in for Domme. A thing he’s reminding himself now is normal and okay so there’s less panic later. For now, Joe’s focused on keeping her comfortable—which means for right now it’s about keeping her cool. And more importantly, fed now too. “What snack do you want? What does Mom want for all her hard work?”
“A kiss,” Domme grins.
“That’s easy. But I saw honeybuns in the snack closet and a Big Texas. Sounds like both of those have your name on it.”
“I haven’t had a Big Texas in ages.”
“A kiss,” a phrase Joe pairs with exactly that, the soft press of his lips into hers, “and a Big Texas. I think I can arrange that. I’m going to check on baby girl, but if you need me, you shout, okay? Loud.”
“Aye, captain.”
“I mean it,” Joe warns, running the cloth one last time over her face and chest. “Loud.”
“Will do.”
–––––––––––––––––––––
The thing about having a kid right in the midst of the preseason, and right at the cusp of the regular season, is that the newborn stage is the hardest and the easiest at the same time. That strange dichotomy is made even more apparent when there’s two kids at or under two as well. Newborns do very little throughout the day, but they require a constant level of vigilance—especially so given the way Joe operates.
Domme watches the way Joe bounces Roslyn, eyes darting between her and the screen. Roslyn’s just a couple days shy of being a week old now. Her arrival just a couple days before the second preseason game meant that Joe didn’t play, nor could he be there to help the second string either. But Joe watches now, eyes dragging over the screen of the iPad, arms still lifting and settling Roslyn’s weight. His grip firm around her tiny body. He finds her forehead, presses a quick kiss, while he rewinds something on the film he’s reviewing.
Jack hums as he works down the cut of French toast. “Good, mamas!”
“Yeah, you like French toast?”
Jack nods. “Yes!”
“I like it too,” Domme grins and then encourages him to not forget his banana slices on his plate too. But she’s watching Joe, the way he works his teeth over his bottom lip. “You should go to the game on Saturday.”
His head snaps in her direction, brows furrowed. “And leave you with both kids by yourself? I don’t think so.”
“It’s just up the road,” Domme counters. It’s a home game and Domme’s not sure who she needs to thank for that. But Paycor’s not far at all from them. He’d only be gone through the early evening. It’d only be a few hours at most.
“She’s not even a week old. And Jack Jack—” Joe pauses. Jack Jack’s only two, but does pretty well. They both know that much. He has his moments but any almost three year old would of course. “What if something happened?” Joe concludes.
“911 first and then you of course.”
“I wouldn’t be able to go knowing that you’d be here by yourself. It wouldn’t be right. The guys will be okay.”
Domme catches the way the words leave him slow, like Joe’s measuring each letter, testing the weight before he commits to it fully. “What can we do so that you’d feel better about going to the game?”
“I married you. I have kids with you. Not football.”
“Weren’t you the guy that told me that I didn’t have to show up perfect, I just needed to show up when I struggled to breastfeed Jackson?”
“Dat me!” Jack interjects, his fist full of the fork’s handle.
“Yes,” Domme laughs, pinching at Jack’s cheek. “That is you.”
When Domme looks across the house, from the kitchen into the living room, Joe’s got one hand settled onto Roslyn’s back, cheek resting at the top of her tiny head. His face is pensive, lost in whatever thought that’s brewing. “She’s just growing so fast. What if I miss something? What if football takes me away from her?”
“Roslyn’s not remember everything, Papa Bear. She’s not going to remember if it was me or if it was you that changed every single stinky diaper. She’s not going to remember if you breathed in her newborn baby scent every second of every day. What she will remember is what you were like when you were there, that you were there as much as possible, that you were still yourself too. She needs her dad, no doubt. But she needs her dad who’s whole, who’s not at war with himself.”
Domme can see it, the part of him that wants to be on the field, that wants to still play. That knows he still has gas in the tank. The man that fought to prove everyone wrong at LSU. The man that fought tooth and nail to make a name for himself. “They’re still young, love. If there’s still something out on that field that you need, then you get it. You take everything you need from the field. We’ll stand by you.”
“I don’t want to play to the point that I tear myself apart,” Joe returns. “I still want to be able to play with them, you know? Crawl around, wrestle with Jack. Want to be involved when they need me.”
There’s words that Joe’s not saying. Domme can practically taste them in the air. “How many seasons then?” Because Joe’s been thinking, been marinating for weeks, if not months.
“I’m capping it at six. By Jack’s eighth birthday, I want to cart him and Roslyn around in confetti too that February.”
Roslyn will almost six then. Old enough to have vague distant memories when they’re older. They’ll be elementary school. Domme nods. “Six, we can work with that.”
“Then maybe I’ll coach or something afterwards. Might take a couple years just to be a stay at home dad.”
“Whatever you want, baby, we’ll do it.”
“But I need someone here with you when I’m gone. Whether it’s my parents, or yours, or some kind of nanny to help with Jack. I just—I hate the thought that it’s just you. I know you could handle it, but I don’t want you to have to handle it by yourself.”
It’s a reasonable request; Domme can’t fault it nor would be arguing about an extra set of hands to help her out either. “We can make that work,” Domme promises.
When Saturday comes around, Joe having not taken the night shift trading it so that he could be well rested before the game, Domme finds herself immediately grateful that Joe insisted his parents come over. The morning is filled with little peace, a problem that bleeds into the late morning. Roslyn fusses the whole time in Robin’s arms. Her protests are only temporarily suspended when she’s fed.
Jackson clings to Domme and though he adores his grandparents, it’s clear that he favors her. The morning screeches into the early afternoon. Domme manages a spare two minutes in the bathroom long enough to regulate herself, but feeling the edges of her patience fraying thinner and thinner with the passing seconds. “Mamas! I want Mamas!” Jack hollers from the other side of the bathroom door.
The TV’s loud. The kids are loud—it’s clear Roslyn wants Joe and that Jack wants Domme’s attention. And she can’t be everyone all at once, not like this. Neither one of them seems to want to settle for a nap—either from the excitement or out of protest. But they’re both cranky and she’s cranky too. She’s not been near tears in a while—pregnancy hormones aside, but right now, Domme can feel them forming. The sting that tells her the edge is so much closer than she thinks.
But she inhales, inflates her lungs to take in as much oxygen as possible and then exhales slowly. It’s alright. She can handle this. There’s a way through. There’s always a way through. Always.
“Everyone’s going into the car,” Domme announces after stepping out of the bathroom. Jimmy sets Jack down after another round of whines and Jack runs over to Domme. The radio stations will be covering the game live. So she can still listen while in the car too.
“Where go?” Jack questions, hugging himself around her legs.
“On a ride. We can look at houses and listen to Daddy’s game. Does that sound like fun?”
“Houses!” Jack cheers, his grin wide—apparently content now that he has Domme’s attention.
“Ros will settle soon,” Robin promises around Roslyn’s fussy wails. But it’s clear on the older woman’s face that she too can see how not well the kids are handling Joe’s absence.
“I’ll take her,” Domme states in return. “I appreciate you two coming all the way up here too. We’ll only be gone for a little bit. Hour tops. If that doesn’t work, call the priest or God.”
Robin’s laugh is soft as she hands Roslyn over. “Call us if you need us. I’ll keep my ringer on.”
“Thanks.”
Domme doesn’t even change herself out of the lounge pants and oversized t-shirt that she’s sure is Joe’s. However, considering she’s been living out of the shirt now for the second day in a row, she considers it hers now. The thing that she does is carry Roslyn up the steps to the bedroom and there, still on the corner of the bed are the t-shirt and shorts Joe slept in last night. She’s read that sometimes just the scent alone can help soothe babies. And today’s the day she’s going to find out if that’s true or not. Like a beacon of light has illuminated the darkness, Domme heads straight for it. Roslyn huffs against her chest, her cries gearing up again until Domme tosses Joe’s shirt over her shoulder and then settle Roslyn into the scent of it. Roslyn quiets, a little whiny but the coo that breaks through is enough to let Domme know that maybe the trick’s not so much bullshit anyway.
Domme grabs her wallet, slides into shoes and fishes the keys out from the bowl. Jackson’s light up car shoes shine behind her. Domme gets them both strapped in, Roslyn draped in Joe’s t-shirt. Her tiny face smoothed out now rather than wrinkled like before. Jack’s excited talk sustains the first few minutes of the drive as he points out the lights, houses, and cars that they pass to his little sister.
The radio comes alive with the roar of the crowd and Domme gets a little lost in the excited quips of the announcers when they realize Joe’s out on the sidelines, “Oh my god, what is he doing here? It’s like Santa coming down the chimney!”
“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves here,” the second voice states, “Burrow’s not dressed out. I don’t think we’ll be seeing him play. But I think it is good for the other guys to have him around. It’s a good sign though, that delivery went well and his baby girl and wife are probably in good shape for him to be here today. The couple welcomed their second child just last week, according to Burrow’s Instagram post.”
“But you have to admit,” returns the first commentator, “you get a little bit of a swell of hope seeing him out there. Congrats to the couple again and I hope they continue to have good health. Do you think Burrow can change a diaper just as fast and as well as he can find a play on the field?”
“I wouldn’t put it past him, that’s for sure. I think we’ve learned to never count Joe out.”
Slightly lost the pre game commentary, Domme’s not sure when Jack’s voice goes quiet. But when she glances back at a stop light, she can see his head loose on his neck, hand resting on Roslyn’s carseat as if keeping close to her. Domme keeps driving, keeping to the right lane so that she can ease the crew of them around town. The streets are mostly quiet right now, the majority of people already at the game or watching it. The grocery store almost looks like a ghost town—a handful of cars parked close together which Domme assumes were the crew that opened and an equally small amount spread out throughout the lot.
She pulls into a space, near the back and eases the car into park. As the brakes give, Domme hears the soft gurgles of Roslyn. Whether or not she's awake, Domme’s not sure but she does fish Roslyn out of the carseat, keeps her tucked into Joe’s shirt and then settles back in the front seat. The door lock gives a soft click and around the rumble of the engine and the speakers.
Roslyn settles again, apparently seeking the warmth of Domme. Jack lulls his head back, mouth still open as he sleeps. In the almost quiet, Domme exhales, thankful that something has given way and it wasn’t her sanity or theirs. Her phone rests nestled into the cup holder and with her one hand she places it into the phone holder slipped onto one of the slats in the air vents, just to see it better and also because she has to record this, wants to show Joe Roslyn’s tiny body swallowed up by his shirt.
So she swipes to her camera app and then taps to record. “Okay, excuse my like entire face right now, but look at baby girl,” Domme eases Roslyn up towards the camera, the swaddle unfurling just a little bit. “She fussed and she fussed the second you left and the only thing that would calm her down was your stinky t-shirt. So, please show this as proof of my plea to your equipment manager to please allow you to bring home whatever smelly practice jerseys you wear for moments like this.”
Domme peers back into the rear review mirror and spots Jack still fast asleep. “Jack Jack is passed out right now. And if you’re wondering, yes, I am in the car. Because if I didn’t leave that house I think all three of us were going to go a little insane. And why am I holding her like I’m about to do a product review?” Domme giggles mostly at herself. It could be the lack of sleep, of course. Or maybe it’s the space, the freedom to allow herself to say that sometimes having kids makes her question her own sanity. “So here we have a one week old baby. Pros, she’s very cute. Cons, she is a little wild from the hours of 2-5 am. But that is the witching hour so we’ll excuse that. Not all of her defenses are up and running.”
Domme places Roslyn back against her shoulder. “Anyway, tune in next week when we get more solid poops for our next update.” She falls silent for a moment, gaze falling out of the front window. One car leaves, pulling out and passing her by. A customer or an employee, Domme can’t tell. But she watches the brake lights glow and then fade as they work their way out into the lane to exit. “I think it’ll be a challenge until Rosyln’s a bit older with you out from the house more often. But we’ll manage. I don’t want this to discourage you from doing what you love and what you want. So please don’t think you have to drop everything just to be a dad. Just wanted to be transparent, I guess. About what things will look like until they both get settled into a new routine. Until we all get settled into a new routine. But I need to get back to the house before Mama Burrow puts out a search party. I love you, Papa Bear.”
The first thing Joe notices when he’s back in the locker room after the game is that there’s several text messages. One from his mother just before the game started and two from Domme right after kick off. But there’s nothing else. So he tries not to panic, tries not to think the worst until he reads through them. The text from his mother is quick Rooting for you. The texts from Domme are a video, the frozen image is just her in the SUV, her text a witty, I think I should start a Mom vlog.
So it’s not inherently bad, which eases his nerves and Joe fishes out his bluetooth earbuds before he settles into the chair in front of his locker, “Okay, excuse my like entire face right now, but look at baby girl.” He laughs when Roslyn comes into frame, her body wrapped into his t-shirt from last night. Joe listens though, to the way there’s a heaviness in Domme’s voice even if she’s laughing, Joe can hear it, the way her voice wobbles a little as it leaves her throat.
Domme’s tough. Joe’s seen it. But that doesn’t mean she wouldn’t struggle. And it definitely doesn’t mean he’s going to leave her behind. “I love you, Papa Bear,” she concludes in the video.
Joe’s off his feet the second the video ends. He warns the coaches, with a quick point to his phone, and then rushes to find a spot with good signal, skirts around the hallways towards the offices and dials Domme’s number. She answers on the fourth ring. “You should still be huddled up there, baby. You okay?”
“I got your text and I needed to hear your voice. Sounds like it’s quiet though, for now.”
“The nap earlier did them both well, I think. They’re less cranky now.”
“But how is Mamas doing? Hmm?”
“Tired,” she answers with an exhale. “But making it.”
“I’ll be home soon, okay? And I’ll have a talk with Roslyn about her being fussy with you during my absence.”
“Thank you, love.”
Joe doesn’t return home empty handed. It was already on their agenda to do tomorrow, grab an extra set of wipes. There’s plenty to eat between Domme’s family and his, and the chef, the fridge is stuffed full. But Joe grabs some flowers, the wipes, an extra container of formula since it’s sometimes hard to get, a few of the protein shakes Domme likes, and a snack for her too.
The moment the door opens that leads from the laundry room into the main house, there’s a slap of bare feet over the floor. Joe looks down, already anticipating the tiny body of Jack Jack. Who, as if on queue, comes down the hall. Joe shifts the bags to one arm, squatting down to embrace Jack in a hug. “Daddy! We listened! On da radio!”
“Yeah? You listened to the game?”
Jack nods, his head full of curls that sometimes terrify Joe. But with Domme’s help he’s learned how to care for. “You no play?”
“Yeah, buddy, you’re right. I didn’t play today. I will in two weeks.”
“Why?”
“Why didn’t I play today?”
Jack nods again at the clarifying question. “This is preseason. So to stay safe for the regular season, I don’t play. Besides, the other guys need rep too. I can’t hog all the playtime.”
“Because sharing is caring?”
“Exactly, bud. Because sharing is caring. Hey, I need to give Mamas her snack. Want to help me?”
“Yes!”
“Okay, you carry this,” Joe directs, fishing out the bouquet of flowers. “Get a solid grip on it.”
“No fumbles here.”
The laughter rumbles through the house at Jack’s rather loud quip. “Yeah, we don’t want those. If that’s too heavy, just let me know.”
“No, not heavy.”
By the time that Joe and Jack make their way to the kitchen, Domme’s already there, at the corner of the kitchen island, unchanged from this morning, the exhaustion clear on her face, but she grins, patiently waiting for Jack to waddle over with the flower. “For you, Mamas,” he states, proud to have walked them across the entire length of the kitchen.
“Thank you, my beautiful baby boy.”
Joe places the rest of the bags down before wrapping Domme into a hug, the two of them meeting chest to chest, Domme sinking into his torso. Her exhale is heavy, shakes a little as it leaves her too. “Oh, it’s okay, baby. I got you.” Joe repeats the mantra over and over, one hand steady over her back, palm working up and down the cotton of the t-shirt. “You’re doing great, okay? I love you so much. I got you. Always going to be a team, okay? Always.”
It hurts to watch her struggle. But Joe knows that they’re both human. Their entire humanity would be plagued by the occasional struggle. He takes it in stride though, promises into the soft warmth of her skin that he’ll be there for every step Domme takes. He meant it when he said wanted forever with her.
____________________
Roslyn is a dynamite. A mini version of Domme, down to the eye rolls and the way she laughs. Where Jackson is the quiet kid, who could color or play with his blocks/legos in the corner and be content, Roslyn wants attention. She is unafraid of the eyes on her. She drags anyone and everyone into her play if given even just a quarter of the chance to do so.
Roslyn’s first day of daycare, to which Joe balled his eyes out after dropping her off, concludes with her proudly walking over to Joe hand in hand with another little girl. “Mariah, this is my daddy. Daddy, this is my new friend, Mariah.”
Joe gives a tiny wave. “Hi, Mariah. Did you have a good first day?”
She nods, but it’s clear to Joe that the little girl is quite shy. And he immediately knows how this is going to play out, how Mariah’s unfortunately been befriended by one of the most extroverted people that’s ever graced the planet, even more extroverted than Domme. He wants to apologize but Roslyn beats him to it. “Where’s your mom, Mariah? I’ll walk you over.”
Oh, God, Joe’s not sure he’s going to survive Roslyn as she grows up. That somehow life has found the one thing Joe can’t really handle in large doses and decided to gift him a child with that just—extroversion. Roslyn walks Mariah down the car line to her mother, with Joe carrying the rear.
“Hi, Mrs. Tinsley, my name is Roslyn and I’m Mariah’s new friend.”
“Oh dear,” Mariah’s mothers laughs. “I love how polite you are. Hi, Roslyn.”
Joe introduces himself and Penelope, Mariah’s mother, introduces herself too. “I have a feeling,” Joe starts, “that there’s going to be no way out of this.”
“I don’t think so either.”
It’s not until the third week of daycare that phone numbers are exchanged for a playdate—meeting at a local bounce studio in order to keep safe for now. But Penelope’s husband, George, is clearly starstruck when Joe, Roslyn, Jack, and Domme walk in. It’s a loud cacophonous sound of children screaming, and adults chatting. But even still, Joe catches the soft, “Honey, when you told me we were meeting Roslyn’s family, you failed to mentioned it was Joe fucking Burrow as her dad.”
It turns out that George, born and raised in Pittsburgh, is a Steeler’s fan by birthright, but since moving for work has kept a closer eye on the local teams. The shock doesn’t necessarily stop amusing Joe. Even though it does make him cringe just a little whenever he does get recognized. Though, just like always, Domme steps in, introduces herself and Jack, who smiles and then asks if it’s okay that he plays along too. Mariah nods with ease and then the three of the kids take off and Joe stands behind Domme, relieved that she’s much more adept at handling these situations.
Joe’s introversion becomes a trend though as the kids get older. As Domme hosts more and more birthday parties, or sleepovers, it becomes a joke at first. Though it’s rooted in deep truth. Joe hangs on the outskirts of such events. He’s there for the pictures, greets parents and children at the door. But he stays in the background, brings to the cake when needed, pulls pizzas from ovens, serves up the plates to kids, pops the popcorn, makes sure the sodas and water are cold. He changes out trash bags when they’re full. He’s there when someone trips or falls. One boy, at Roslyn’s sixth birthday jokes that Joe is like Batman.
That’s all it takes. Parents call him that, kids do too. “Quick, someone get the bat signal. We’re out of juice!”
Joe appears with the jug in hand and a stack of cups in the other. “You rang?” he returns, in a bit of a deadpan that makes all the kids giggle.
Domme watches from the midst, enveloped in kids too as they wait to get their faces painted. Joe catches her laughter above the rest of the noise. The sound carried through the breeze and he watches her watching him. “Batman’s kind of handsome. Does he need a Catwoman?” she teases from across the backyard.
“There are children around, Mamas, please,” Joe warns, but he can’t help the flush of his cheeks. It’s easy to say it’s the August heat, but it’s not. They both know that.
______________________
Roslyn’s extremely active from the second she can walk, she’s running instead. Her feet are stomping. If anyone needs to know where Roslyn is, she will let them know. But she’s aware of it, in a way much too mature for her age. As a young child, she notices that Jack seems to be overwhelmed by her noise and always tones it down.
Back home from a trip to an amusement park, Roslyn felt like the day and really only started. But her attempts to get her brother to play once home, quickly fall apart when Jack shakes his head no to her offer. “But you love to play sock ball with me.”
Sock ball is a game that Joe, Jack, and Roslyn conjured up one stormy evening and they couldn’t go outside for t-ball. So Joe took a pair of clean socks, the empty trashcan from his office and painters tape to create a game in which they can’t cross the line of painter’s tape on the floor, and have to shoot the socks into the trashcan. Close enough to basketball without the backboard and significantly less threats to anything shattering among immediate impact should the socks not make it where they were aimed.
“Not right now, Ros. Maybe later.”
She turns, after watching her brother drag himself to his room. “He gets tired after being out.”
Joe nods at the observation. “He does.”
“But I don’t.”
“No, you don’t. Jack Jack’s different than you in that way. You like being out and around people. And he prefers to be with a smaller crowd, around fewer people. Being around people makes him tired.”
“So, I should play a bit more quiet?”
“That would be kind of you, yes. But if you want to play loud, we can take it to the backyard too. There are plenty of options.”
“I’ll play inside. It’s hot. But I’ll be okay.”
“That’s very kind of you, Roslyn. What do you want to do?”
Joe knows that whatever they decide to do, they’re in for the long haul. And Joe’s glad for football in those moments, that he’s able to keep up with Roslyn and her energy. However, Roslyn’s Energizer Bunny disposition comes with a little wrench that rears up fully when she’s 3. At night, or even after a particularly in depth and rousing round of play, Joe hears the wheeze and rattle in her chest. As if her tiny lungs are working too hard to get air in and can’t.
Joe and Domme bring it at appointments, persistent about it, but not rude. The primary care doctor makes notes when they bring it up and starts looking into a few testing, but it doesn’t far before the wheeze and rattle lands the entire family in the ER. That particular night forever burned into all of their memories.
The night rests up at near 9 PM. Joe’s easing out of his office, normally when Joe’s home, he leaves football at the doorstep. But it’s January now, and with the playoffs bright and open in front of them, he does take an hour or so after the kids have gone to bed to review the film, take down some notes.
Joe suspects to find Domme in their bedroom, reading, or attempting to read if she’s not already fallen asleep. Roslyn will be in their bed too—she’d been sent home earlier today because she threw up at daycare. The fever’s wavering, but not gone. Some coughs here and there, but so far, she seems to be weathering the cold mostly well alright. Joe will slip into bed next to them, wake Domme gently with kisses if she’s asleep and get a solid half an hour with her before they both fall asleep mid conversation.
The thing he’s not expecting is Domme’s sure but quickened steps down the hall, Roslyn huddled up into her chest. “She’s wheezing bad, Joe. I don’t like the sound of it. At all. She’s saying she can’t breathe. I don’t know what it is, but it’s not just a cold. Something else is wrong.”
Joe doesn’t panic, not initially, though he can feel himself steeling his nerves, forcing himself to exhale evenly timed with his deep inhales. “You get her to the truck and I’ll grab Jack.”
Jack isn’t necessarily groggy as he is worried. Thankfully, he’s compliant and that’s all Joe can ask for as he slips the sweatshirt over Jack’s frame and slips on his socks. Jack can do it himself, but they don’t have time for it. “It’s about your sister. So we’re all going to go to the doctor’s, okay?”
“Are they open?”
“I think we’re going to the Emergency Room. Like the doctor’s but for when you need help after the other places are closed, when something really bad’s happened. Like your friend Wyatt, who broke his arm on his brother’s skateboard.”
That’s all that needs to be said before Jack’s face slips, a hard line replacing the spot his usual smile rests. “But Roslyn’s sicker than that?”
“That’s what we’re going to find out, bud.”
Joe wastes no time with himself, slips into a hoodie, finds his wallet and shuffles into the Ugg slippers he leaves by the door. January is cold and this one is particularly snowy, but there’s no time to worry about that. By the time he gets to the car, Domme’s already in the driver seat. Jack settles into his carseat, helping to buckle it up and Joe cradles Roslyn in his arms during the drive. The rattle’s not terrible now, but he can hear it too, behind the phlegm, behind the mucus of normal daycare germs, something is tight and Roslyn burrows into his chest. “Daddy, please make it stop.”
“We’re going to figure this out, baby girl. Promise.” But even Joe can’t deny the sting of his eyes at Roslyn’s words, how small she sounds, though she’s usually full of life. He wants to promise he can make it all better. Joe wants whatever this is that’s plaguing his daughter to somehow plague him instead. But that’s not how any of this works. So he holds her tighter, kisses her forehead and promises again, “We’ll figure it out soon.”
Asthma—that’s the end all be all of it. A condition that thankfully can be managed, but is chronic. Roslyn winds up needing a breathing treatment to get the inflammation under control which should help her sleep, but now with awareness of the issue they can hopefully prevent another asthma attack from happening again in the future.
The doctor’s have hope that she may grow out of it, considering it’s a milder case of the condition. She should still maintain physical activity, but it’ll be important for her and her teachers to notice signs of things getting worse and for the signs of an asthma attack and to have an additional inhaler for Roslyn at school. But Joe’s not sure he can feel much relief in that sterile room with the lights too bright, his baby girl hooked to a nebulizer, a mechanical whirring feeding vapor into her nose via the face mask.
Roslyn appears, after the first few minutes of the treatment, to be breathing better, settled into his chest even deeper. Joe adjusts the mask so she can be comfortable but still get the medicine. Domme sits across the room, Jack’s sleepy frame in her lap. The little boy’s exhaustion battles against his well, eyes zeroed in on his baby sister. His frown is deep on his face. And Joe’s never seen himself more than he does now, sitting in the bed with Roslyn in his lap, staring down at his son and realizes that just as fiercely as Joe cared about his family Jack did too.
“Buddy, you can sleep. She’s going to be okay,” Joe encourages softly. The doctor’s left for now, promising to return in another ten minutes once the treatment is done with the prescription in hand for Roslyn’s inhaler.
They’ll have a follow up appointment with the primary care physician later in the week, on Wednesday, to have the diagnosis added to Roslyn’s records, and to ensure that she and Joe and Domme know how to care best for Roslyn with the diagnosis.
“What does chronic mean?” Jack asks between the beeps of the monitors attached to Roslyn— wires that Joe tries not to pay attention to but can’t help but see, like the one monitoring her oxygen levels, or the blood pressure cuff.
Joe looks to Domme, and Domme’s bouncing her gaze from Jack up to Joe. They’re wide eyed for a moment and then Domme nods, answering the question before it can form for Joe: Yes, yes, they should answer.
“Chronic means that it goes on for a long time. Usually, without a specified time for it to end.” Joe answers.
“So, forever?” Jack answers with disbelief and horror filling the two words.
“No,” Domme hums, hugging him tighter. “It doesn’t always mean forever. Sometimes it does, but not always.”
“Is this asthma stuff forever for Ros?”
“We don’t know, hon,” Domme returns. “We hope not. But we really don’t know.”
Joe doesn’t sleep much that night—in short bursts of an hour to an hour and a half at time. In the morning, they’ll get the inhaler. But he watches Roslyn’s tiny frame curled between him and Domme, her chest falling evenly now and no longer the frantic gasps that filled the car on the drive. They do have her elevated a little, just to make sure. But he can’t sleep, can’t surrender himself over fully lest he miss a noise, a sign that she’s in distress.
“Papa Bear, I can hear those gears still grinding.”
Joe looks up from Roslyn and from Jack—who also insisted that he sleep next to his sister to make sure she was okay too—and spies Domme’s blinking gaze in the dark. “You were hot in that hospital filling out those forms, you know? A whole mama bear situation going on as you dared anyone get in your way walking into that ER.”
She snorts, one hand coming up to brush away a stray piece of his hair from his forehead. “You’re not going to rest tonight, are you?”
“Just want her to be okay,” Joe whispers.
“Fire watch? I can take the next few hours so you can get some rest.”
Joe knows it’s ridiculous, that he should sleep. That Roslyn’s okay, because if not, the doctor’s wouldn’t have let them go home. But he’s extremely grateful that Domme doesn’t try to convince him of that, that she just merely accepts. “That’s a little ridiculous, but I like the way you think.”
“We’re both a little insane when it comes to our kids. The way we ought to be. Get some rest. I won’t make this offer a third time.”
“Some might say, you hardly offered it a second.” He pushes up to his elbows, then to his wrist and stretches across both Roslyn and Jack to kiss Domme, slow, unhurried—a kiss that feels almost like an exhale. “I love you, Mamas.”
“Love you too, Papa Bear.”
_________________________
For all the energy that Roslyn exudes, for all the socializing she can do, which has gotten her in trouble in her early elementary school days, she does have an eagle eyed awareness too. Like her big brother, her awareness extends to others as well. Not in the same way that Jack cares deeply about the way the rules work, and how fair must always be fair. She’s more socially adept. On her first day of 9th grade, fresh to high school, she spots some girls sitting in the halls outside of their lockers, they’re not necessarily who Roslyn would go for. It’s easy to say Roslyn’s easily more in the ‘popular’ clique than it would be to argue she’s not. A few girls who are in a grade higher compliment her outfit when she settles towards the middle of the bus. But inside the hallways now, those same girls are giggling and staring at the other girls while sitting on the floor in front of the library.
Roslyn knows the manga the girls are sharing. She’s seen Jack reading it and watched the anime with him over the summer when he was in control of the living room TV in the afternoons after she had control of the living room TV in the mornings. “That’s a cool show,” Roslyn states as she approaches. “Didn’t realize it was a manga.”
“You—you know about anime?” The girl with black hair, in tight ringlets, tied back by a giant bow asks.
“Yeah,” Roslyn laughs with a shrug, “doesn’t, like, everyone though? What arc are you guys in?”
Though it could be seen as social suicide, Ros doesn’t really care. It costs nothing to be nice. Rod would rather be seen lower on the totem pole than to purposefully and maliciously humiliate someone else. So the three girls chat for just a few minutes about the show, before Roslyn decides that she should probably get to her locker just as the first bell rings to signal that classes will be starting in just a few minutes. “When do you guys have lunch?”
“We’ve got second lunch,” they answer.
“Could I sit with y’all? If there’s space of course. I’ve got second lunch too.”
“Oh, sure, that would be nice. But like, are you sure?”
Roslyn nods. “I’m sure. It’ll be nice to know some other people other than the lacrosse team. And my friend, Mariah, she has the same lunch as us too, can she join too? She’s nice, like really nice, not like fake nice.” Roslyn loves her team, but she likes seeing other people happy more.
“Uh, sure,” the two girls agree.
“Cool, see you guys then,” Roslyn waves over her shoulder and heads to her locker. Oya and Melinda--the two girls wind up becoming fast friends with Mariah as well, the entire quad of them solidified as a clique thick as thieves. Roslyn includes them on invitations to games and it turns out that they don’t live too far either so the Burrow house is always full of some configuration of the girls, most often it’s all four of them together in the den or in Roslyn’s room.
Joe and Domme make sure to keep the snacks full stocked. A habit they have to keep in order to sustain Jack’s growth spurts and his small collection of two other boys from middle school as his tight weaved knit of friends too.
_______________________
Roslyn, unsurprising to literally anyone with eyes, has her father wrapped around her finger. A fact sprung into life the second Joe and Domme found out they were having a girl. For a little bit there, only Joe could sooth her. The first few weeks of her coming home, whenever her fussing was not directly correlated to needing a diaper change, or being hungry, it would only be the rumble of Joe’s voice or his scent that could calm her down.
And it’s only Roslyn who could manage to chip away at Joe’s seemingly icy cold stance about pets. Not that Joe doesn’t like animals. He’s just been wary of adding them into the mix, given how often he’s away and how long Domme’s days are at work. And when things seemed like they could’ve opened up for pets, they had kids instead. But now Roslyn’s older and so is Jack Jack. They’re pretty settled, and have a routine that’s easy to handle. Jack’s never asked directly about pets, but he’s dropped a few hints as he got older. Yet and still, it’s Roslyn who comes home from Mariah’s 5th birthday party which included a trip to the local animal shelter that Roslyn declares, “Cats are cool. Can I get one?”
Domme merely waits, watches Joe’s face as it slides from immediate rejection, brows furrowed, into something softer when Roslyn adds on, “Please, Daddy. I’ll feed it and everything. I’ll learn how to take care of it. Please.”
“Can we try asking again with all that put together?”
Domme knows immediately it’s a yes, but he’s going to make Roslyn work for it. Ros sits up straighter in her chair at the dinning table. “May I please get a pet cat? I promise to help take care of them.”
Joe lets her sit, nearly unblinking for almost a minute. “We’ll read up on how to care for one first and then you can decide if you still want a cat after that.”
“May I plead my case for a gecko?” Jack asks. “I wrote a report on them.”
Domme knows the second Jack confesses to writing a report Joe’s answer is easy. But his brow arches. “You wrote a report on geckos?”
“Yes. I can go get it.”
“After dinner, I’ll take a look at it.”
That night long after the two kiddos have been tucked into bed, a story read to them by Joe and Domme each for a total of two stories total, Joe flips through the handwritten report. Jack’s penmanship isn’t the greatest, but it leagues neater than Joe’s certainly. “He actually wrote a report. He has headings,” Joe laughs, pointing out the underlined Tank Requirements on the page. He looks to Domme over the top edge of his glasses and she’s failing to hold back the smile. “Did you help him with it?”
“He’s wanted a pet for a while, Joe. And I know you, so yes, I helped Jack write the report.”
“Okay, that’s cheating. But it shows his dedication.”
“Think of it like a retirement gift,” Domme returns gently, winding her arm around his shoulders.
It’s not quite dawned fully, Joe’s exit from playing football, but it’s on the horizon. It’s only September right now, but this is Joe’s last season, and neither one of them has told the kids about it either. It’s been discussed in private moments, behind the closed doors of their bedroom with Joe face first into Domme’s chest in part agony and the other part relief. But he wants to be there for his kids, wants to be strong and healthy for them too. They say there’s dad’s strength—and Joe’s only proven it true in the last seven years since he became a father. Joe’s always been Houdini on the field, but there is a magic to seeing him play now as a dad, that feels brand new.
But making the decision was no easy task, even if Joe knew he would make the same choice a thousand times over for his wife and kids. It’s still eaten at him in a way that they both know will take time to ease. That while it feels like the right decision, there is always a little bit of grief mixed into the decision too. The life he’s had for so long, that he’s always wanted, will come to an end.
“I guess so,” Joe laughs, pressing a kiss to her temples. “I won’t be so lonely at home with a cat that does their own thing in the same general area but not necessarily together. But it’ll still be strange though.”
“Not playing?”
“Yeah.”
Her hum is comforting. “But transitions are always a little strange, yeah? Even if we want them.”
“Let’s see if a cat and a gecko make the difference.”
It takes a few weeks to get the gecko sorted, to get the right tank and equipment. Joe and Jack come up with a contract—what Jack is responsible for himself, what he’ll have to have either Joe or Domme assist with to ensure that the animal is well taken care of. It may look a little silly on the outside, the typed up agreement that lives on the fridge for everyone to see, but Domme will cherish the memory of watching Joe and Jack side by side putting it together, how Jack pointed at the screen, voice soft as he asked what certain words meant and making his case for why he should be allowed to do certain things with assistance. Navigating that conversation will help skills Jack’ll need when he’s older that for right now it’s okay if it’s just about geckos.
But once the tank is inside and it’s filled and the gecko is safely and gingerly placed inside, Jack stares at him for hours, just watching, cataloging poops, amount of time sleeping, habits and energy levels, and making charts. “Look, Dad! Look!” he beams. The papers rattle with his drawings and measurements and graphs.
Joe always nods, thoughtfully peering through the drawings and notes. “Proud of you,” he whispers.
Roslyn finding her cat takes significantly less time. But she sits next to Joe too, watching him type up their agreement as well. What she can help do for the cat, what she’ll need to get Domme or Joe to assist her with. Her ‘signature’ is a printed scratch in purple crayon. It lives on the fridge too, and both kids are proud to see the fruits of their labors stuck with magnets to the stainless steel.
Joe and Roslyn walk into a local shelter with tempered expectations. Joe holds her little hand as she toddles up to the front desk. “We are here to look at your cats, please!”
Joe laughs just a little, but nods when the worker asks if that is indeed correct. “The little lady speaks the truth.”
It’s not supposed to happen on the first visit to the shelter. Or at least, Joe’s not expecting to happen. Ros has been clear though that she wants a black cat, but has agreed to look at all cats that are there just to be certain. Some of the cats are stacked much too high for her to see so Joe picks her up. Roslyn stops at one set of cats—one orange and white colored, the other a softer beige color. They blink up at Joe and Ros but neither one of them seems too interested in being bothered when Roslyn holds her hand up to the lines of the cage.
So they move on, down the row until Roslyn gasps, “Daddy, look! At the end.”
Joe spots two black kittens pressed up to the edge of their kennel. “Do you want to say hi?”
“Please.”
Roslyn is gentle as she presses her hand to the outer part of the cage, the larger kitten sniffs but ultimately decides it’s not pleased before settling in towards the back. The smaller one stretches up though into the scratch Roslyn provides it. The kittens are fluffier than Joe imagined them to look. Pointed ears, and when the kitten blinks upwards, he notices one eye is green while the other is blue.
The tiny creature meows since nuzzling up into her hand. “This one, please. Look at her.”
Joe has to admit that the kitten is cute and it does seem to have taken a liking to Roslyn. He looks at the little write up on the outside. “Her name is Jewels,” Joe relays to Roslyn.
“And I love her. Please, Daddy. We can’t leave her behind. We leave no Burrow behind.”
The fierceness makes his chest swell and he kisses her cheek. “She’s not a Burrow, yet, but we can do our best to make her one. One more pet and then we need to let them know, okay?”
Roslyn sits in the backseat the whole way home, peering into the carrier from her carseat, one hand stretched out for the top of it. “We have to get you a nice bed and the right food,” Roslyn informs the kitten. “Then we can go to your new home. You’ll like it better there.”
Jewels was rescued from a hoarding situation—apparently acquired from a breeder considering how hard getting a Maine Coon cat is, but not impossible, which led Jewels to be slightly malnourished when she was placed into the shelter’s care. She’s gained a little weight and now Joe, Roslyn, and Domme will be tasked with continuing her journey.
The pictures of Jewels first day home never cease to make Joe teary eyed. The little kitten splayed out in Roslyn’s lap before she moved to investigate the cushions and the arm of the couch before climbing onto the back of it, nestling deep into the cushion right above Roslyn’s head, one paw stretched down like Roslyn’s arm was in the car. A position that as Jewels grows, she continues to settle in right above Roslyn each time Roslyn settles onto the couch.
Jewels grows up to be larger than Joe or Domme anticipated. She’s not the dainty small rescue cat either one of them thought Roslyn would end up with. Instead Jewels is fierce, a silent but almost predatory stalk to her walk as she keeps in tow with Roslyn around the house. Her leaps are graceful onto Jack’s amp if he leaves them outside of his room—Jack’s room is the only room off limits to Jewels given the geckos that Jack keeps, but otherwise she has free reign of the house. Though, almost without a shadowy doubt, Jewels is always where Roslyn is.
Joe attempts to make nice, and Jewels plays along, but she most certainly only wants attention on her own time and she almost always wants it just from Roslyn. “Oh, Jewels,” Joe pouts after a failed attempt to get her to settle into his lap. “That hurts worse than being tackled by 300 pound defenders.”
Jewels will curl into Joe’s side though, on her back, head nuzzling into his hip. He gives in with ease to pass along a few scratches. But she’s never there too long. Just long enough to show that she loves him and then she’ll turn over, leap from the couch and then saunter off into the house to find Ros again.
______________________
Roslyn, even with her asthma, loves to be active. She starts at first in dance. Which she does for a little bit, but finds isn’t quite her style. She likes the recital at the end, but starts to dread the practice after her third year. So she sets her sights on something new, something different. Both Roslyn and Jack learned fairly young what their dad did for work. It’s kind of hard not to know, but sometimes in the secret of her purple thematic room, Roslyn watches old highlights of her dad—watching him on the football field, the deep throws, the insane releases and leaps.
“Think I should give it a go?” Roslyn asks Jewels, who’s been sat beside her, curled up into a ball.
Jewels only blinks up at Roslyn, but her gaze is steady and unwavering, which Roslyn takes as a yes.
After a few months, she finds her parents in the living room, Joe resting into Domme, Domme pressed into the arm of the couch, the TV playing a movie, but neither one of them watching it as they’ve both fallen asleep. “A-hem,” Roslyn giggles, hoping the noise is loud enough to wake them back.
Joe cracks one eye open first. “You rang?”
“I have a proposition.”
Joe sits up first and then pulls Domme up next. He nods all the same. “A proposition you say? What might this proposition be?”
“Flag football—I’d like to try it.”
Joe learned with Jack not to push any sport in particular. That each of his kids would be their own people in their own rights, with their own wants. He didn’t necessarily want carbon copies of himself, but he does want each of them to find the thing that they’re passionate about, the thing that they can always return to the help center and drive them. For Jack, it’s becoming clearer and clearer that’s music. Roslyn’s still young and hasn’t hit her strides, but she’d find it soon.
But Joe doesn’t want her to feel like it has to be football, or anything adjacent to it. Roslyn slides the iPad onto the coffee table. Jewels slithers around her ankles. “What makes you interested in flag football?” It’s Domme who asks because Joe can’t seem to get his jaw to close and open again in the right formation for words to fall out of them.
“It looks fun. More physical than dance, which is what I want. I know I’d have to be careful with my asthma, but I haven’t had to use my rescue inhaler in almost six months.”
“And you’re not—I mean, you’re not doing this because of me right?” Joe asks.
“Maybe a little,” she shrugs. “Maybe it’s the Burrow spirit. The Burrow way.”
Joe shakes his head, waving for Roslyn to come in closer. She steps up and Joe places her onto the coffee table, next to the iPad, so they can be face to face. “While I tend to agree, I do want you to know that I always want you to be you, Ros. I don’t want you to be me, or try to be me. Dear old Dad took a lot of hits, made some choices that may not have always been smart. And I’m not saying that football’s too dangerous for you to play. I just—I want you to do this for yourself. People may have a lot to say about it because of me, because of what I did, because of what I do now should you decide you really want to go out for flag football. I want you to be ready for that, for you to know that you’re doing this for you and nobody else.”
Roslyn holds his cheeks between her palms and lands a single kiss to his nose. “Dad, I appreciate that. But how would I know if I don’t really want to do something if I don’t give it a try.”
“You had very firm opinions on broccoli there for a minute without ever trying it.”
“Okay, but I was like three.”
“You were six,” Joe corrects.
Roslyn sighs. “And I’m ten now and I eat all my broccoli, so things change, clearly.”
Joe laughs, returning Roslyn’s earlier kiss with one to her forehead. “They do. How long have you been thinking about flag football?”
“Couple months now. I missed the fall start, but with your team I figured it’s probably for the best.”
“Oh, hey, don’t worry about that,” Joe insists. Though he’s started coaching since Roslyn started in the 2nd grade, he’s always made sure to be as home as much as he can, to show up to the things he can be there for. “You could’ve started then if you wanted.”
“I want to start in the Spring.”
“Alright, send me that flyer and I’ll print it out so it can live on the fridge and remind us to check back in January, alright?”
“I will.”
Joe can’t help the question. It’s natural curiosity, and a little bit of pride too. “Thought at all about the position you’d want?” Domme snorts at the question and he turns to her. “Hush, Mamas. It’s a fair question.” But it doesn’t stop her cackles.
“Not the quarterback position, Dad. I think I have to go with Uncle Tee and Uncle Ja'Marr on this one.”
Joe can’t lie and say he’s not a little hurt. But it’s what Roslyn wants. Joe has to put his ego in the backseat and focus on her. “That’s fair, kiddo. That’s fair.”
The tryouts are grueling. Domme and Joe watch from the bleachers, Domme clutched to his bicep. But Roslyn makes the team, grinning wide with her mouthguard still in place. Joe’s careful about not interjecting, to take a step back even though he can see what maybe the kids and the other coaches can’t. He imagines it’s not easy to be the coach with Joe right there either, so he keeps the brim of his hats pulled down low when he’s there on the sidelines watching games, tries to make himself invisible though he can’t help at some moments to stalk the sidelines. “C’mon, girls. Dig deep for this one. You got it!”
Domme is the inverse, she’s loud at every turn, on every drive, “Good hustle! I know you want it!” Her only saving grace are the snacks she brings and the juices to each game. Joe’s glad they invested in the Costco membership because Domme treats the games she’s on snack duty for like it’s an olympic level duty—protein bars, juices, chips, ez peel oranges. There’s no such thing as a worry about costs when Domme’s let loose in that store.
Roslyn does well, studies at the dining room table next to Joe as she goes over the routes and plays. She runs them in the backyard, dripping with sweat when Joe finally calls it. Part of him is always a little worried she’s going to push too far and wind up in the midst of an asthma attack that her inhaler can’t save her from. Ros is good about finding her limits and sticking to them. “Need a second,” she heaves and Joe’s always there, helping her find her breath again too.
She goes quiet on game days in the back seat, her headphones on, and eyes darkening. Domme watches and knows to give Roslyn that space. If Joe can attend her games, he’s there, on the sidelines, kneeling before sending her off. “Eyes up, Ros. Eyes up. No one else can get in there,” he starts, tapping the side of her head, “unless you let ‘em in. And we’re shutting all that other noise out. Shut it the fuck out. It’s you, those routes, and the ball. That’s it.”
She nods, a slow methodical movement. Her cheeks are painted with black triangles. “No other noise.”
“Get ‘em, tiger.”
Roslyn takes off, in her purple and yellow uniform towards her team—the Prowlers always ready to make noise on the field.
Part way through the season though, Roslyn approaches Joe, one evening, a shaky knock at the bedroom door. “Can we talk, Dad?”
“Yeah, absolutely, we can. What’s up?”
“Some of the other girls on the team are talking about me.”
“Talking about you how?” Joe asks, setting Roslyn onto the bed. He kneels down in front of Roslyn, working a few strands of her hair that have fallen out of the braid he did earlier for her, behind her ear.
“One girl said I was too stupid to be the quarterback and I told her she should try and memorize half the stuff I do. I know she’s a rusher and like all our jobs are important, but it feels kind of yucky right now. And I work hard just like everyone else.”
“Have you talked to your coach?”
“Yeah, twice. She’s nice and tries to help, but you were right. There’s a lot of people saying a lot about me because they know you’re my dad.”
It’s not the thing Joe wanted to be right about. God, he didn’t want to be right about this. But he needed to be honest, needed to let Roslyn know exactly what she was getting herself into when she said she wanted to be on the team.
“How bad is it? Is it every day?”
Roslyn shakes her head. It sucks, Roslyn will admit that. She thought she could handle it on her own, but now it’s getting much too heavy. “No, thankfully not. But it makes me not want to play anymore.”
There’s five games left in the season—including the division which Joe knows the Prowlers are a shoe in for. “Like quit before the season is over or not play after this season?” He hopes not, Joe really hopes that’s not the case that it’s so bad that Roslyn wants to leave through the season early, but he’d back her up. He’d allow her to exit if it was affecting her that bad. Nothing matters to him more than her wellbeing.
Roslyn’s head shake no is fierce, a rapid and resounding no. “I can’t let my team down. Most of the other girls are nice. It’s just a few that are nasty. We’re so close to being the champs too. I want that. Just with nicer people on my next sports team.”
“Yeah, I’d like you to have good teammates too. You can keep playing as long as you want and then once this season is over, we can find you something else to play. If you need me or your mom to talk to the coach too about this, you let us know. We’ve got your back.”
Roslyn drops her head but nods. “I know you two do. Thanks.”
“Hey, look at me,” Joe urges, pausing until her gaze falls back to his face. “Give them something to talk shit about though, okay? I mean, you dust everyone on that field when you play. Rack up so many yards and so many touchdowns they run out of numbers and let that do all the talking, okay? If they’re going to be mean and nasty, then we’ll give them something to be mean and nasty about.”
“Please don’t give our daughter a complex,” Domme shouts from the bathroom.
Roslyn giggles at Joe’s exaggerated sigh. “Of course not, dear.” Then he leans in closer to Roslyn and whispers, “Dust ‘em.”
The Prowlers end the year as division champions and Roslyn earns the MVP title at the end of the year—leading the entire division in yards and touchdowns. Her neck clicks and clacks the entire walk to the care. Jack slaps at her shoulder. “You’re going to have to do neck exercises to make sure all those medals don’t break it.”
Roslyn doesn’t touch another sport until she’s in middle school and she catches wind of lacrosse. But once she has a taste of it, she can’t get enough. Joe watches her from the sidelines, after they've spent hours researching the sport, learning the ins and outs of it, a grin etched permanently on his face. Ros was a beast in flag football, but there’s nothing like her arm in lacrosse. She makes a shot once—swift, sharp, and precise—all from her hips and shoulder and it whizzes, according to the legends and the footage, like a rocket.
“Goddamn, like a shooting star or something,” Domme comments, huddled in next to Joe on the metal bleachers.
“Holy cow!” The opposing team’s goalie shouts, attempting to catch the ball but has her eyes closed up tight. “Like an asteroid next to my stinkin’ head.”
Her entire team picks up on the nickname, Asteroid, and it’s all she writes. From there on out, Roslyn’s no longer Roslyn to her teammates, but always Asteroid. Mariah, Oya, and Melinda make signs for some of the games—their subtle way of rooting for their best friend from the stands, the pink posters decorated to high heavens with asteroids and stars.
There on the field, when playing lacrosse it’s all about shutting out the noise. All about Roslyn. There’s no competition, no metrics but the ones she sets for herself. There she is free in ways she can’t always articulate when others ask her. Ros always knows where her parents are, of course, her mother’s cheers and screams being the loudest—which earned her the ban in the first place. Yet, she can get lost in the sport in a way that feels right.
Roslyn knows deep down she wouldn’t want it another way. Would trade her mother’s excitement for a single thing else. The ban only lasts for a few games each year before Roslyn tells her mother, graciously, “It’s actually boring without your screams. Just don’t get banned from my games please.”
“Thank you, sweet pea. I will do my best not to get banned for real.”
Roslyn looks to Joe, who only nods before he adds on, “I’ll keep my eye on her.”
“Thanks, Dad.” Then she’s off, to join her team and Joe and Domme settle up into the stands, even though no sooner than the whistle blows they’ll both have made their way out of the seats and onto the sidelines, cheering Roslyn on. Joe’s meaty claps echoing between Domme’s chant, “That’s it, girls!”
And really, if anyone asked Ros, she wouldn’t have it any other way.
____________________
Roslyn’s venture into sports don’t just excite their personal worlds. A few of Joe’s press conferences post games mention it too. Only has it come up twice though about if Joe wishes he could pass the legacy on, if he looked towards his son with hopes towards Jack ‘taking up the Burrow mantle’
Domme’s seen Joe displeased. She’s seen him worried—though others wouldn’t be able to tell it in a place. She’s seen Joe disappointment in his boys if the games don’t go their way. She has not once ever seen Joe this angry. His jaw is set tight, his gaze narrowing in and growing darker. The poor flimsy wood of the podium looks like it could crack under the weight of Joe’s tight press. His voice is poised though as he speaks, calculated and sharp with each breath. “I am infinitely blessed to have two children who show me just how magical the world can be every day. My son does what makes him happy and that makes me feel amazing that my wife and I have created an environment he feels safe enough to be himself in. He is a killer musician and I cannot begin to describe to you the hours and absolute devotion he has to the arts. It is beyond words how talented he is. How much he loves it. My legacy will be more than football. It is more than football because I am a husband and a father before I am anything else. I am on the sidelines every second I can be for my daughter. Her calling is lacrosse and she is an absolute threat on that field every time she steps onto it. Her dedication and passion to that game is my legacy in action because she feels safe enough to be exactly who she is, to do the things that make her happy. Because again, my wife and I want our children to be the best versions of themselves, not carbon copies of us. Now do you have a question about my job seeing as that’s your job?”
Joe and Domme do their best to keep their kids off social media as much as possible, but they know as Jack and Ros grow older they’ll be exposed more and more to it. But the pressers after the games are usually the middle ground—it’s not the same thing as Instagram, but it is live, and it’s usually about the games. So most of the time it’s safe. Most reporters have learned that Joe won’t answer anything about his personal life, that it’s the choice he makes and no matter how many times they try to press it, he doesn’t often budge. Today is a reminder of that line it appears.
Domme glances to her right and spots both Jack and Ros grinning at Joe’s answer to the question. “Dad did not like that,” Jack quips.
“‘Now, do you have a question about my job seeing as that’s your job?’” Ros imitates, her voice deeper than usual in efforts to sound like Joe.
The house descends into laughter. Domme is filled with relief though, that neither one of them seems to take the question too hard. “It’s such a ridiculous question,” Roslyn adds on. “He’s never going to say ‘Yes, I do wish Jack would pick up football so that I can relive my glory days.’ Like, hello? He’s reliving his glory days by coaching so he doesn’t bug us about it.”
Domme relays the message is secret once Joe’s back home. He laughs, but nods all the same. “She’s sort of right. I didn’t want to badger them about it, so I found an alternative means to get it out. I need them to be happy more than I need proximity to football.”
“You could have a great modeling career,” Domme teases, stretching up to kiss Joe. That confident easy kind of kiss, the one that still manages to steal Joe’s breath away all these years later.
“I will keep that in mind,” Joe laughs against her lips.
The second time a reporter tries to bring up Jack and football and Roslyn and lacrosse, a sneaky, So, are you sure about your daughter and lacrosse? Joe deadpans. “The Jaguars are undefeated this year just like last year. Let’s move on to your actual question now.”
So slowly the conversation turns tides. When Joe smiles more, or more easily during press, the question becomes, “So we take it the Jaguars won?”
To which Joe almost always nods an affirmative. “They did. Proud of them. Proud of my daughter too, really proud of her.”
It’s a phrase Joe never gets tired of saying. And Roslyn never really gets tired of hearing either. Because she’s proud to make both her parents, and especially her dad, proud.
_____________
BONUS THOUGHTS:
Jack when he’s about 13 or so wants to buzz his hair off. But is scared to do it by himself. So he asks Joe if they can do it together. “I think I want something crazy, but I’m not sure I can handle it all by myself.”
Joe takes the request in stride, it is just hair at the end of the day. It’ll grow back no matter what. “I’d shave it off with you, if you’d want. But you’ll have to end this school year strong, definitely no D’s or F’s. I know with a few of your advanced placements courses you missed a couple assignments so I’m willing to work with you if those are up near the C+ range.”
“You’d—you’d be okay with shaving your head too?”
“Bud, I have done many wild things to my hair. Shaving it is the least of my worries.”
But Roslyn catches wind of such an agreement and requests that she have her ends dyed. So it turns into a family affair. Her grades have to be good too, with no new additional outreach regarding Roslyn talking during instructional time. A feat that seemed like she would never actually be able to overcome but now with an incentive in front of her she seems to be holding her own feet to the fire.
Jack finishes the school year with 6 A’s, 1 B+, and 1 B-. Roslyn rounds out her school year with 4 A’s, 3 B-, and 1 C+. Excellent grades all around so Domme—in all her affinities towards do-it-yourself—takes a couple weeks to learn up on to bleach and dye hair at home before she waltzes back into the house on a Friday evenings her arms full of bottles, gloves, brushes, clippers, and capes.
“Oh my god, reminds me of when Mom spray painted that old toy car,” Roslyn giggles, watching the way Joe hovers over Domme as she begins her work.
“Hey, my job as supervisor is just as important as Mom’s job,” Joe retorts. “But yes, your mother handled that DIY as well because she’s much better at this kind of stuff than I am.”
“The gold stars were a nice touch, I have to admit,” Domme hums, mostly to herself. “I’ll buzz you both first and then bleach and then dye. Sounds good?”
Jack nods, settled into the chair in Joe and Domme’s bathroom. “Just make sure to go down the middle first so I can’t chicken out, please.”
“As long as you’re sure.” Soon the bathroom echoes with the buzz of the clippers. Joe stands next to Domme with his own clippers and makes the first swipe at his own hair while Domme shaves Jack’s hair. So that Jack doesn’t feel like he’s alone.
Once Domme’s got Jack’s cut cropped close and even, she gets Joe settled into the chair clean up the back and sides.
“It’s like the Slim Shady era all over again,” Domme laughs, as she slathers the bleach onto Joe’s head first.
Roslyn laughs from the edge of the tub. “We saw those pictures, Dad.”
“Yeah?” he questions, watching her in the reflection. “So you’re laughing because I looked so good. I get it.”
“Hmm, not quite,” Roslyn returns. “The shaved head really, uh, you know, accentuates how wide your head is.” She can’t even finish the sentence without falling into a fit of giggles.
“I think the bleach has gone to your head. Jack, crack that window up a little bit more for me please. Because Little Miss, you just wait until I’m out of this chair.”
“I am terrified of the tickles that are coming my way.”
True to Joe’s word, when Domme slips the plastic cap over his head and marches right up to Roslyn. Her rupture of laughter bounces around the room. In the reflection, Domme catches Roslyn slung over Joe’s shoulder, her face turning a hair pink from her laughter. Domme continues on with Jack.
“The fumes aren’t too much, Ros?” Domme asks once her laughing spell settles.
“I’m good, Mom. Promise.”
Jack opts for pink cheetah spots on the beach blonde base. Joe opts for a few kiss prints, which he offers up with a wink in the mirror. Jack and Roslyn gag at the exchange, having seen the shirt and jacket that has seemingly started the obsession. “They’re so in love it’s disgusting,” Roslyn chimes in.
“Honestly, get a room,” Jack tacks on.
“You two are literally in our room,” Joe defends. “But, don’t make me kiss her. No one wants to see that, I bet,” Joe threatens. “Or should I use a few pick up lines on Mamas?”
“NO!” Roslyn and Jack scream simultaneously.
Domme can only grin as she works on finalizing the last few prints on Joe. “I certainly wouldn’t mind,” she tacks on, knowing it won’t go over well with the kids. Jack and Ros gag again in unison.
_____________
At the end of Joe’s first season back after Roslyn’s born, Joe and Domme sit down to re-evaluate their plan on kids. Both of them are pretty content with just the two. Domme’s the one to suggest that she could look into having her tubes removed since it would be a pretty permanent way to ensure she’d no longer get pregnant. Joe, on the other hand, is adamant that she’s not doing a goddamn thing like that. He shakes his head firmly. “No, that’s a lot for you to do. A vasectomy’s much faster and has less down time. Once the kids are a little older, if you really want that, you can. Just right now with both of them so young, I don’t want either one of us to take such extreme measures.”
Domme knows that no matter what they decide someone’s going to be down recovering. But she can see the way the blue in his eyes dulls as she speaks. “I made it through both deliveries in mostly good shape.” She did tear a little with Jackson, but it wasn’t a horrible healing. It was more annoying than anything else.
“I know. I just don’t want anything to happen to you. And I don’t like you in a hospital gown at all either. Makes my heart hurt.”
She knows it does. Saw how deep his brows furrowed so deeply she’d worried he’d somehow wind up with permanent wrinkles much too young. “Well, we don’t want any more chest pains.”
Joe and Domme meet up with a few urologists and Joe selects the one he feels most comfortable with. By the end of March, he has an appointment for the following month. “Sorry to do this right around our wedding anniversary, but I don’t want to risk waiting too long,” Joe notes once he’s adding the appointment to the shared calendar.
“It’s okay. It’ll give me an excuse to dote on you for a few days while you have no way to refute it. I appreciate you doing this though, for us.”
“Of course, baby.”
Domme’s parents come up about five days to help her with the kids, though it’s absolutely an excuse to spoil their grandkids. Domme drives Joe to and from the office, and though she doesn’t like to see Joe in pain either, she has to take just a second to record him waddling down the steps, an ice pack on his crotch. “You do realize I could help you,” Domme notes in the recording.
“I’m fine,” Joe huffs though his momentary distraction makes him forget the best way down the steps and he pauses for a moment, eyes closing as the slight groan of pain leaves his chest. “So, stairs require all of my concentration. Got it.”
“You alright there?” The video’s just of their feet now, but Domme offers her arm to Joe for some additional support.
“Just get all the giggles out now. Because I am requesting a shit ton of kisses when we get home.”
“I can do that, baby. C’mon.”
Thankfully, Joe recovers well. He takes it easy that afternoon and for the next couple days later and has minimal bleeding post procedure. Jack takes it the hardest that his dad’s down for a few days and not running behind him like usual. “Is Daddy sick?” Jack asks, his bright eyes peering up at Domme.
“It’s not sick like when you get sick. Papa Bear’s had a surgery, so he’s gotta be careful for a little bit. Needs us to give him a little extra tender, love, and care. That’s all, baby.” Domme grabs the secondary bag of peas for Joe, the ice cold air of the freezer brushing over her arms as she swaps them.
“I help?”
“I’ve got it, bubbas. I’m okay.”
“I help.” And it’s in that little pout, the furrow of Jack’s brow that Domme sees Joe yet again. This iteration of the phrase is not a question, but a statement.
“Okay,” Domme agrees. “You can help. Do you think you can draw a picture for Dad? Something to make him smile?”
“Yes, I can draw.”
“Perfect. Let me give him this and then I’ll get the supplies and we can surprise him.” Though Domme’s acutely aware that Joe’s listening to the whole exchange from the den. Just a few rooms down from them.
Jack walks with Domme to the den. Joe’s grin tells her everything she needs to know as she hands Joe the fresh bag of frozen peas. “He’s your son,” she whispers against Joe’s forehead, “that’s for sure.”
“It gives me time to work on my shocked face.”
Jack’s careful as he walks further into the room. As if somehow if he moves wrong, it will cause a problem. “I going to help,” Jack mutters, a little less confident than he sounded in the kitchen, but somehow much more determined.
“Oh, bud, Dad’s going to be okay,” Joe reassures.
But Jack doesn’t seem to listen, or seemed particularly worried about the reassurance. Instead, he faces Domme, his face scrunched in determination. “Mamas, I need help.”
“Okay, if it’s about what we talked about in the kitchen, that’s next on the docket. Is it about the surprise?”
“Yes.”
She nods, presses one last kiss to Joe’s head. “You need anything else?”
“No, I’m fine. Thanks, love.”
“Of course. My parents should be back in the next half an hour, so Roslyn will be returned here shortly before you send out a search party.”
“It’s not illegal to miss my daughter.”
“It’s not, but you get really pouty about it.”
“Because I love her,” Joe defends.
“This is your last day in the tall tower, and then you shall be rescued and she will be ecstatic to be back in her daddy’s arms.”
Thank God for it, Joe thinks to himself. Instead he stretches up, cups the back of Domme’s head and brings her in for another kiss, then a second, followed up by a third. “My favorite nurse has been quite adamant about my recovery, so I can’t complain too much.”
“I got demoted! I cannot believe this. I pop out two babies and now I’m a nurse again. Can you believe this Jack Jack?”
“No,” Joe laughs. “You cannot bring him into this. He’s going to side with you and Ros is not old enough to speak fully to defend me!”
Domme huffs, collecting Jack who’s walked over to her. “Tell Daddy, I should be a doctor again. His favorite doctor.”
“Daddy, be nice,” Jack scolds.
Joe hangs his head, the bottom lip rolling out as he faux pouts. “Daddy’s sorry. Mamas is my favorite doctor taking my recovery seriously.”
“Exactly,” Domme interjects. “Alright, now to the lab, Jack Jack!”
Joe watches them go, and wants to follow. He’s been banished to the den so he’s not as tempted to do too much too fast. But it’s not necessarily where he’d want to be, though he understands Domme’s insistence. The thing Joe realizes as he watches them leave, Jack’s face pinched boring directly at him, is that Joe loves being a Dad. Loves it more than he does playing football, which seemed like an impossibility until Domme came along and she turned everything Joe thought he wanted upside down in an instant.
Joe wants to do everything he can do for his kids, wants to ensure that he can be a good dad to Jack and Ros until the very end.
white lace . untamed hair . piano keys . stained glass . pastel colors . bare skin . golden locket . old books . soft music
EVIE LERMAN IS A PURE ARTIST. the star is the younger sister of logan lerman. when she was younger until her early college years, evie was a competitive contemporary dancer. but as her college years went along, she moved to music. singles were released and went top on the charts in a few days, but yet, the girl behind the façade was unknown. whereas, acting has always been small gigs to keep her image through her teen years, and she quickly began to enjoy it again after college. In season two of stranger things, evie earned the small role of ‘Tina’—a student at hawkins high school. if you asked evie a decade later how she felt about the man she just met, she would not expect the words—marriage. pictures of a first trimester pregnancy of evie and a handsome joe keery were leaked in november. and a couple months later, evie posted an instagram story of four small newborn feet, the photo cutting off at the chubby legs.
summary; an early midspring saturday morning for the burrow's
warnings; swearing, petnames from joey yum, mention of the manspread, domestic married couple activities, discussion about how much of a milf and dilf u and joe are...
word count; 1.2k
note; i've been needing to write some girl dad! joe for a while, i love writing domestic family stuff its the best ever when all else fails. i will add to and possibly make an au out of this, you guys will be introduced to Dallas at some point.
Saturday's in the spring are arguably the most peaceful yet stressful days in the Burrow household. Having to entertain three kids all day was quite a chore, but Joe's home so, how difficult can it be? the answer to that question is probably not what you'd expect. With their husbands around most people get more done, but when you're husbands here, you might as well count him in with the kids.
Waking up at 7:40 instead of the crack of dawn to get everyone ready for school is the highlight of the morning. Joe's in bed too.
"Rise and shine, Joseph," your voice was barely understood due to your face being shoved into your pillow, glancing over in your man's direction proved he was no where near rising and shining. Invading his personal space was amazing, especially when he still warm from sleeping.
The skin of your cheek nuzzled against his chest, listening to the thump thump of his heartbeat. His presence alone was beyond comforting, he was just the person who could calm any stress or anxieties you felt. You pressed quick, chaste kisses to his bare collarbone, inhaling his scent, allowing it to flood your nose.
He began to stir ever so lightly, his lashes fluttering a bit as his eyes opened. The stare of his piercing eyes on you was inevitable when waking up this way, "morning, mama," he spoke up for the first time. His voice was still riddled with sleep, sounding a bit deeper, "Good morning," you beam, still giddy over the nickname that's stuck for as long as you can remember, long before you even were a mama.
Joe enjoyed the way you hid your face in his chest when he called you names or told you how much he loved you. Still blushing like the teen girl in glasses you were in high school, he'd never get over your reactions.
You both soaked in your bit of quiet time, Annika was old enough to be sleeping in a bit later than she used to in the earlier stages, thank God. But she still screamed bloody murder if left alone in her crib for long enough. Meaning times like this were few and far between.
Geo, on the other hand, climbs out of his bed and runs straight down the hall to bang on your bedroom door. Who needs an alarm clock when you have a five year old anyway? Speak of the devil, the all too familiar knocking of tiny fist against the white wood was a snap back into reality.
"Mama, I'm hungry," he whined, slapping the surface of the door he hadn't yet master how to open. Baby proofing the doorknobs proved very effective in his and his sister's case, however Dallas had figure out the concept rather quickly, he knew his boundaries in the house so no problem there.
"Mom's coming, Geo, go check on your sister, yeah?" Joe shouted slightly, just loud enough for the boy to hopefully hear him, his tiny feet could be heard across the hardwood floors. Joe watched you slide out from under the warm linens, stretching out your muscles, and heading in the direction of the in suite as you yawned.
Joe took advantage of this time to get himself up as well, opening to bedroom door so the kids could come and go if needed. The sound of the door creaking caught your attention, peeking your head around the doorway, Joe laughed a bit at your state. Hair pulled back so it was in your face, purple tooth brush pressed against your cheek, and tooth paste adorning the corner of your pretty lips, always so gorgeous to him, even when you didn't feel it.
Back to what you were doing, in the bathroom, watching your husband join you in the massive mirror, "I've missed you guys so much, y'know?" He mumbled, putting a bit of toothpaste on his toothbrush, keeping a close eye of your reaction.
Nudging him with your shoulder, "We've missed you more, it's not the same unless we're all here," You inform him, truly, if Joe's not around any bit of fun is dulled considerably. Like there's a void that's only filled by his existence. When Dallas was little, you were able to take him to most of the games, but traveling only got more difficult as your little family expanded, leaving you to stay home and watch the games on tv most of the time.
Kissing his cheek as you dropped your toothbrush into the storage cup on the counter, "I need to go check on Geo, God knows what hes gotten into by now," Joe simply hummed as you headed into the room down the hall that was drowning in pink.
In your defense all the pink was not your idea, Joe was meant to have a little girl at some point and when he found out he was, he drenched her room in Disney princess and pink anything and everything.
The light was on and Geo had his face squished against the bars of the crib, having a conversation with his babbling little sister. The boys loved their girls unconditionally. "Geo baby, go get Dallas up so we can figure out breakfast, please," Geo's a good boy, the most helpful, productive five year old you've ever met, maybe you're biased because he's your baby but even so.
Scooping her up, Annika sat on your hip as you found a diaper in the tiny cabinet you had situated next to her changing table, they were all growing up so fast. Pretty soon she'd be focused on potty training and looking for a time for her to start going to daycare for the entire week. As of now, she went twice a week and on those days you'd be working with Joe's parents on important business stuff.
"I wanna do it!" Joe shouted, running into the door as you laid the baby comfortably on the table, stepping aside for him to do the job instead of you, "Since when do you like being on diaper duty," you asked, arms crossed over your chest, staring up at his face with creased brows. "Since," he glanced at his non-existent watch, "Right now, don't complain Mrs Burrow."
This form of Joe was someone almost no one but you and immediate family knew, comfortable sweats, unruly hair, and a random t-shirt he's probably had since high school, cooing at his little girl. Wrapping up the dirty diaper and dropping it into the trash can, "Good morning, little mama," He greeted, lifting her up into the air as she laughs at his goofy faces and voices.
"Why are you the dilfiest dilf ever?" Another good question, this time asked as you grab a handful of his ass, "Woah there, ma'am watch the hands," He grunted turning to face you, so his bum was out of your reach, "Good question, baby, why are you the milfiestest milf ever?"
Annika looked at you both, trying to comprehend what was going on around he, but she was too invested in the necklace around your neck, her chubby arms reached out for you, just so she could play with the metal. Just as you went to grab her, Joe moved way from you quickly, distracting her from you with more silly faces.
•series summary: Y/n Hubbard, the younger sister of Cincinnati Bengals Defensive End Sam Hubbard, finds herself in a difficult situation after a steamy hookup with her brothers best friend, who just so happens to be the quarterback for the Bengals. In just nine months their lives will be changed forever. How will Y/n and Joe manage to to go through parenthood together? more so, how will Sam take the news he is going to be the uncle of his best friends baby?
•chapter summary: You have your first ultrasound and you share some sweet moments with Joe. As the day ends you make plans to tell your friends (and brother) about the baby
•word count: 3.3k
•warnings: Pregnancy, mentions of morning sickness, crying, LOTS of fluff
series masterlist
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February 15, 2023
3 months pregnant
About a little less than a month has passed since the AFC championship game. Since then, the off-season has started, meaning you were currently "unemployed". Of course, you still had your job, you just didn't have to go into the stadium or practice fields to work—until OTA’s begin, but you still have a couple months before those.
Since the championship game, you’ve been spending most of your time at home. Your morning sickness has been pretty rough the last couple of weeks, leaving you feeling exhausted. Pair that with the mood swings you were experiencing lately, this first trimester of your pregnancy was tough. It doesn’t help that none of your family members know about it either. You’re trying to hide it from them as long as you can because you know how they’re going to react to the fact that you’re not with the baby daddy. And, you knew your pregnancy was only going to get harder to hide from everyone because what you could shrug off as bloat, has now turned into an obvious baby bump.
You loved that your bump was growing, but you didn't love that you wouldn't be able to hide your pregnancy much longer. You and Joe just weren't ready to share the news with anyone quite yet...
You let out a long sigh as you got out of bed, yawning as you stretched your stiff limbs. You don't like to get up this early during the off-season, you enjoy sleeping in a little too much. However, today was a big day. You have your first OB appointment. You'll get to hear the baby's heartbeat for the first time, and if you're lucky, you'll get to see the little guy or girl on an ultrasound. You were feeling a mix of emotions as you thought about your upcoming appointment. Thankfully, you won't be there by yourself though because Joe is coming with you.
He initially told you that he was unsure if he could make it, but last night you received a text from him, asking if you'd be up for "plus one" at your appointment. It warmed your heart knowing that Joe wanted to be there to support you, and see his baby for the first time. Although he was hesitant at the thought of becoming a father at this point in his life, he was starting to come around to the idea of being a father. Joe would never abandon you or his baby. Especially with the history the two of you have, he could never imagine leaving you to go through this by yourself.
You had about an hour and a half before you had to leave for your appointment. You gave yourself plenty of time to shower, get ready, and even enjoy a quick breakfast. Well, at least try to enjoy a quick breakfast.
After your shower, you dried your hair and did some simple make-up. Nothing too extreme, but enough to hide the dark circles and illuminate your best features. You decided on a casual but cute outfit for your appointment. Since it was the middle of winter in Cincinnati, you opted for a pair of leggings and a cream colored sweater that hugged your belly just a little bit.
Once you were satisfied with your appearance, you made your way into the kitchen to make some eggs, a fruit smoothie, and a side of prenatal vitamins. You ate your breakfast in silence, deciding to scroll through Instagram and see what your friends and other NFL WAGS were up to lately. Upon opening the app, you saw that Joe posted on his story You clicked on his profile, and on his story was a picture of him, Sam, Tee, Ja'Marr, and Logan. It was a photo of them from last years training camp, captioned "Throwback Thursday". You couldn't help but chuckle at the caption. You couldn't think of a single person that still uses that phrase.
You looked at the picture, eyes only drawn to Joe. Blame the hormones, but you were feeling a little bold, so you slid up and clicked the '😍' react emoji.
After you finished up your breakfast, you cleaned off your plate, placing it in the dishwasher. You had about ten minutes to kill before you had to leave for your appointment. You decided to go to the living room and relax for a few minutes. You pulled your phone out and sent a text to Joe:
You: Hey. Just wanted to remind you that my appointment is at 11:30 if you're still able to make it. If you need the address again let me know :)
As soon as you set your phone down on the couch beside you, you immediately got a response from Joe. It was almost as if he was waiting for you to text him, that's how quick it was.
Joe: I was actually just about to call you. How about we go together? I'll drive.
Your heart dropped. He wanted to take you? He wanted to go together, not separate? A small smile started to pull at your lips as you typed your response.
You: That would be great. You need my address?
Joe: Nope, I think I remember from a couple months ago ;)
You completely forgot that Joe has been to your apartment before. Plus, one of his closest friends lives in the same complex just a couple doors down from you, so of course he knows where you live.
You: Okay, well if you need me to send it to you just let me know.
Joe: Should be there in about 5. See you soon!
You liked his message as you stood from the couch. You went into your bedroom and grabbed your pair of black boots, along with your North face coat before you went outside to wait for Joe. The weather was actually decent today. There was little snow on the ground and the temperature wasn't the typical bitter cold. You locked the door to your apartment and headed outside. As you left the complex, Joe's car pulled up to the front of the building. You smiled and waved at him as you began to walk up to his car. He returned the wave and smile.
You opened the passenger side door, greeting Joe and thanking him as you sat down and buckled your seatbelt.
"You ready to go?" Joe asked, glancing over at you once he heard the click of your seatbelt. You nodded as you rubbed your clammy hands on your leggings. You were starting to feel a little nervous about your appointment. Every single possible outcome of how this appointment could go was running through your head. "Yeah," you said, your voice wavering slightly, "I'm just a little nervous."
Joe gazed at you with a slight frown, "I am too." However, his frown turned into a soft smile as he finished his thought, "but everything will be fine, I promise." You smiled at his reassurance. Sometimes all you needed to ease your worries was just a little reassurance.
Joe pulled out of your apartment complex and began driving to your OBGYN's office. As he was driving, he kept one hand on the steering wheel, while the other was resting on the glove box. You noticed his eyes drift away from the road multiple times, instead looking at the small bump your abdomen. You caught him looking at you for a third time, a pink hue on Joe's cheeks as he realized he had been caught. You smiled slightly as you spoke softly, "You can touch it, you know." He glanced at you, a small smile on his pink lips. "It's your baby too," you said. Joe hesitantly lifted his hand off of the glove box, letting it hover over your middle for a few moments before he slowly lowered his hand onto your belly. He rubbed the fabric of your sweater with his thumb, feeling the swollen skin of your baby bump beneath his fingertips. "Wow." he couldn't help but breathe out. Joe was amazed at the sight of your small bump.
Joe kept his hand placed on your belly the rest of the short drive to your OB office. Content smiles were on both of your faces as you sat in silence. The action felt foreign to both of you, but as foreign as it was, it felt good--it felt right.
~time skip~
After signing some paperwork at the front desk, you sat back down next to Joe in the chairs in the waiting room. His left leg was nervously bouncing up and down as he looked at the other expecting couples waiting in the office. You rested your hand on his thigh, stopping his movements, "Are you okay?" you asked lowly. Joe just nodded, "I don't ever get nervous..." he glanced over at you as he said, "but I am right now."
You smiled softly at him as you leaned back in your seat, taking a deep breath, "Yeah, me too." As you let out the breath, a nurse walked out into the waiting room wearing a bright smile and holding a chart in her hands.
"Y/n Hubbard?" she called, making yours and Joe's head snap up. You looked up at her and smiled softly, "That's me."
"Great!" she exclaimed, smiling warmly, "you can follow me this way."
You and Joe stood up from your seats and followed the nurse down the hall, and into an examination room.
"If you want to sit up here for me, I'll take your vitals." she said, gesturing the examination bed. You sat down on the bed as Joe sat down on the chair right next to it, nervously rubbing his palms over his shorts. As the nurse was taking your vitals and marking them down on your chart, she looked at you with narrowed eyes. "Okay, I just have to know," she stated as she set the blood pressure cuff down on the counter, "are you married to Sam Hubbard?"
Your eyes widened and Joe choked on his breath.
"I'm sorry, what?" you laughed in shock
"Oh are you not? Or.." Her dark eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "No! God no," your laughter continued. "He's uh, he's my brother."
"Oh my god, I'm so sorry!" She exclaimed, growing flustered at her mistake. You smiled at the poor girl, "It's alright, don't worry."
"Are you sure?" she asked, looking at you with concern. You nodded, making her sigh, "God I feel like an idiot."
"You're fine, I promise." you smiled kindly at the dark haired nurse, "I get that a lot, honestly." you said, reassuring her and letting her know you didn't take her mistake personally. She just blushed and awkwardly finished up with your vitals and basic patient information.
"Doctor Montgomery will be here shortly." She said, a blush still on her cheeks.
Joe smiled, "Thank you..." he looked at her ID tag on her scrub top, "Amanda." He said with a wink. The nurse, Amanda blushed crimson once again, "Of course. Congratulations."
As Amanda shut the door and left the exam room. Joe scoffed in disbelief, "She thought Sam was your husband when I'm sitting right here?" You chuckled softly, "I guess so. Maybe she didn't recognize you."
Okay but in all seriousness, who wouldn't recognize the Joe Burrow.
Joe was about to respond when there was a knock at the door before your OB-GYN, Addison Montgomery walked in.
"Hello Y/n," she greeted, smiling warmly, "good to see you again."
You smiled, "Hey, Doctor Montgomery, it's good to see you too." She sat down on the swivel chair net to the examination bed. "So, you're here today for an ultrasound?
"Yes. I meant to come in earlier, but i've been busy with work."
She nodded, "Totally understandable. We've been super backed up here. Seems like everyone has baby fever right now." she turned to Joe, chuckling as she spoke. He just smiled at her, nervously. She held her finger out, pointing at Joe, "Wait, you're Joe Burrow!"
Joe chuckled, slightly cocking his to the side as he replied, "Yup, the one and only."
Your doctor turned to you, winking, "Oh Y/n, you have got yourself one fine baby daddy." You smiled, blushing as you made eye contact with Joe, "Yeah, I do don't I?"
Joe rubbed the back of his neck, a faint blush making its way onto his cheeks as he looked at you sheepishly.
"So," Doctor Montgomery clapped, "you ready to see your baby you two?"
You grinned happily, looking up at your doctor as you laid back against the bed. Joe stood up and walked over to the side of the bed, pulling the chair he sat in with him. He placed the chair down and sat down next to you.
"Okay Y/n, if you want to pull up your shirt for me, that would be great."
You nodded, pulling up the cream material of your sweater. Doctor Montgomery put the cool gel all across your lower belly, the cool gel making you shiver as soon as it touched your bare skin.
"Sorry," she chuckled, "I forgot to warn you, but the gel is very cold."
"Yes, it is." you nodded, your eyes glued to the screen of the ultrasound machine. you were anxiously waiting to see the baby pop up on the screen.
"Alright here we go." she said, grabbing the probe and moving it around your slightly protruding abdomen. You and Joe watched the green intently, holding your breaths as you watched. Her eyes lit up as she moved the screen around you and Joe could see better.
"That right there," she pointed to a spot on the screen with her bright red manicured finger, "is your baby."
She pressed a button, and a loud, fast whooshing sound broke out in the room. It was your baby's heartbeat. You smiled brightly, looking at the picture in awe. Tears welled up in your eyes. You couldn't believe this was all happening. You looked over at Joe, his expression the same as yours, with his beautiful blues full of unshed tears as he looked at his baby on the ultrasound monitor. Hey glanced at you, grabbing your hand and kissed it before his eyes went back to the screen. Both of you were so overwhelmed with love and all sorts of emotion as you looked at the black and white picture, and heard the loud whooshing of your baby's strong, healthy heartbeat.
"That's our baby..." he said softly in disbelief.
"Yeah, that's our baby." you smiled as a tear rolled down your cheek. Joe gripped your hand tighter, as you did to his.
Doctor Montgomery smiled, "Congratulations you two! You're about nine, almost ten weeks along Y/n. You'll be in your second trimester soon, so hopefully your morning sickness eases up for you."
"Whew," you breathed out, "I sure hope so."
She smiled softly, "It will eventually. Before I go, do you want me to print some pictures?"
You and Joe both nodded, "Yes please, we'd love that." Joe said, eagerly.
The OB chuckled, "Okay." With a click of a button, your ultrasound pictures were printed. She wiped the gel off of your belly, and you sat up, pulling your sweater down.
She handed the pictures to Joe. "Oh! Before I forget, I was actually able to see what the gender of your baby is. Do the two of you want to know that right now?"
You looked at Joe, wanting his answer. He just shook his head.
"No thank you," you smiled, "could you maybe write it down on an envelope though? My friends were talking about throwing us a gender reveal party."
She smiled sweetly, "Yes ma'am! How sweet of them."
You hummed, "I know right? I have the sweetest friends." It's very true, you do have the sweetest friends. Your OB turned around and quickly wrote something down on paper before putting it into an envelope and sealing it. She handed it to you, "There you are. And you, are good to go. Everything looks great. You and the baby are both healthy and looking wonderful."
Joe smiled, "Thank you doc."
Doctor Montgomery nodded, "It's no problem at all. I'll see you in a few weeks. Congratulations again you two!" she walked out of the room, leaving you and Joe alone. You stood up from the table and adjusted your shirt. You turned around and smiled softly as you saw Joe looking down at the ultrasound photo in his hand, his thumb running over the image of his baby.
"It's so tiny," he said softly, his voice in awe, "I can't believe this is growing inside of you right now." You chuckled softly, walking closer to him and looking at the picture with him, "Crazy isn't it?" he just nodded and continued to look at the photo in awe.
The two of you walked out of the doctors office with wide grins on both of your faces. As you made your way into his car, Joe placed one of the ultrasound pictures on his dashboard. It's safe to say the ultrasound today has made Joe 100% on board with the baby now...
"There." he smiled, "perfect."
"Isn't it cute?" you asked, reaching out your hand to trace over the baby's silhouette on the ultrasound.
"It looks just like you already, Y/n." Joe joked as he pulled out of the parking lot. You looked up at him, and shook your head. A teasing smile on your face, "Sure. I think it'll be carbon copy of you, Joseph."
"i'll hold you to it." he smirked, eyes flickering back and forth between your eyes and lips.
As Joe was driving back to your home, your phone rang. You pulled it out and looked to see who it was.
Incoming call: Sam
Your eyes widened as you answered the call. He could not find out you were in the car with Joe...
(Sam)
(You)
"Sam, hey!"
"Hey Y/n, how's it going?"
"Good, how about you?"
"Can't complain. Hey I just wanted to call and ask if you were free next Saturday. A couple of the guys and I are going out for drinks, and I figured I'd invite you."
"Yeah, I'm free. Who's all coming?"
"Me, Tee, Ja'Marr, Joe, Morgan and Logan maybe, and now you."
"Oooh, sounds fun! Where are we meeting?"
"Not sure yet, i'll call and let you know though."
"Okay! Thanks Sam."
"Yep! I'll talk to you later, bye."
"Bye, love you Sammy."
"love you too, Y/n/n. Bye."
You hung up the phone and Joe glanced over at you. "What'd Sam want?" he asked, averting his gaze back to the road.
"We have plans next Saturday with Sam and some of the other guys."
Joe nodded, "Oh, right. I came up with the idea today while we were working out this morning."
"Really?" Your furrowed your brows. Joe usually wasn't one to initiate making plans.
"Yeah, I uh, I thought that would be a good way for us to tell them about the baby." he smiled, putting his hand on your tummy again. You smiled in return, "Thanks for setting that up, Joe"
He looked at you and just nodded as a small smile tugged at his lips. You leaned back in your seat, placing your hand over Joe's. Part of you was worried about telling the guys about your accidental pregnancy, especially Sam. You didn't know how he was going to react to being told he's going to be an uncle...to his best friends baby.
But hey, he has to find out sooner or later right?
hey loves!!
how sweet was this?🥹 dad joe has me feeling all of the feels.
this was all fluff, but the next chapter is a crazy one, so be prepared! not only will sam and the other guys find out about baby burrow…but we’re going to take a look back at yours and joe’s past from OSU👀
thank you so much for your continued love and support with this series and all of my other work! it means so much to me. you’re all so kind and i love each and every one of you!🤍🤍