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Dad, on posting on Facebook during the holidays: Never post anything on Facebook during the holidays. You post one thing, and everyone is saying “Merry Christmas! Happy New Year!” Why does everyone have to say it? It’s all over the place. It’s so annoying. Now I have to reply to all of them
Me: You can just ignore it or post a general “Happy New Year” post
Dad: No, I have to respond to all of them. This is why I hate posting things on Facebook during the holidays.
Lubedoo's Dad-isms
As I journey through this wonderful experience we call 'life,' I have made (and collected) some observations and exclamations to color the journey a bit. My kiddos have lovingly termed these my 'Dad-isms,' and you may have noticed a few sprinkled into my writings thus far. So I thought I would collect some of my favorites into one place, for posterity or posterior, you choose the usage. Enjoy (or groan)...
*DISCLAIMER* some of these are original and some I have collected over the years (credit for those I can remember is in parenthesis)
(Non-cuss cuss exclamations):
God Bless America and all the ships at sea…
Corollary: GBA and the ships are back in port…
Son of a mother chicken plucker…
Well flip me over and call me a turtle…
Oh Kaka / that’s gonna get Messi… and I’m not talking about the soccer player…
If you’re going to use a 50-cent word, be sure you have both quarters
You can lead a horse to water… but some will drown in it rather than take a drink…
That (beverage / excuse) is about as flat as a 10-cent sandwich…
About as much flavor as hanging your tongue out the window…
Don’t pop your shoulder out patting yourself on the back…
You think you’re funny. The problem is you’re thinking
Can be dual meaning depending on the underlined version of ‘your’/‘you’re’ used…
(In response to a highly questionable assertion) Pull the other one, see if candy drops out…
(In response to ‘how are you doing?’) Doing what we can with what we got…
That’s a heapin’ helpin’ of ain’t happenin’…
I need more Skol and less Uff Da…
Some people have a one-track mind. I have an 8-track mind… and someone keeps hitting the <PROGRAM> button…
Another day, another 58 cents after taxes… and shrinking…
You bring the noise, I’ll bring the thunder…
Alcohol may not be the solution, but it is one HELL of a solvent…
Rule #1 of Cat Ownership: NEVER look for a cat.
Busy is good but frantic can quickly become tiresome
Hot weather can be trying, but you don’t have to shovel humidity, and no one has ever slipped on sunshine.
(Especially in bowling, but any scored game): It don’t say how, it just says how many
(Bowling wisdom) Spares keep you in it, til your strikes gonna win it…
(Seeing a police car with a ‘customer’ on the side of the road): Broken. I mean… BUSTED!
This situation was served with a large side of SUCK sauce…
Corollary (can be taken literally or sarcastically): Well now that has a small tendency to SUCK…
Be critical of what you hear. Propaganda ain’t just a goose in a tuxedo.
(Particularly about work) I’d rather be busy than the alternative…
I refuse to ‘get a life’ until someone tells me how what they are proposing will be better…
Let’s do that. I’ll schedule it around the 5th of Never…
It’s a choice… which usually implies that it’s not a good one…
If you find yourself in a hole, quit digging
Corollary: And when you hit rock bottom, don’t reach for the jackhammer…
If you get to thinking you’re someone important, try ordering another man’s dog around.
Both feet in your mouth up to your ankles. And still chewing…
He’s about two tacos short of a combination plate…
One man’s fun is another’s HOLY CRAP I’M _NEVER_ DOING THAT AGAIN!
Don’t threaten me with a good time…
(Finding something in an obvious place): If it had teeth it would have reached out and bit me on the butt…
(Pinball wisdom, but can be more generally applicable): It’s NEVER just a fuse…
(Bad luck response) And THAT, folks, is why I limit my trips to Vegas…
Get it? Got it? Good. Gone.
Sarcasm. Just another service I provide at no extra charge.
Just a sanity check. Yes, I know for me that’s a stretch…
That’s a nice, tall, cold glass of NOPE.
Wait a minute, I know I put that surprised face somewhere…
If chemistry is not becoming to you, you should be coming to me.
LABORATORY. Emphasis should be on the first 5 letters, not the last 7.
Theory guides but experiment decides (thank you Dr Wells)
Sorry, my give-a-damn is busted today…
Indecision may or may not be my problem… (Buffett)
Is it ignorance or apathy? Frankly, I don’t know and I don’t care…
Either the lightbulb glows brightly or the firefly slowly fades…
No one is so empty as one filled with the wrong things…
So clueless they could fall out of a canoe and forget to get wet…
(Starting a trip or event) Let’s kick the tires and light the fires…
Maturity is understanding that ‘Challenge Accepted’ is not always the right answer. Pride is going ahead with the plan anyway…
In God we trust… everyone else brings data.
That was only two-thirds of a pun… P-U
Statistics are like a bikini. What they reveal is interesting but what they conceal is critical.
Nothing good happens at 3 in the morning.
Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should.
There’s a fine line between jumping to conclusions and putting them into orbit.
An honest man’s pillow is his peace of mind (Mellencamp)
I’m growing older but not up… (Buffett)
Diapers and politicians should be changed frequently, and for the same reason.
2 days before my 51st birthday.
As the hart panteth after the water brooks, so panteth my soul after thee, O God.~Psalm:42:1
As the deer penteth for the water, so my soul longeth after thee. David was seeking after the Lord, even though he was distressed and angry.
I came to know the Lord in 1994, when I was crying and catastrophising in an overseas training exercise. I asked that He helped me overcome a difficult period, and He did.
In work, I do have many situations of stress, but I had depended on my own strengths.
I had started to ask if I can have a girlfriend and wife, and I seeked my own while waiting. In 2002, He allowed me to have union with a lovely lady called Christyne. We went on to have 3 lovely children.
I had continued to study after ITE, as my elder sister helped me to appeal to polytechnic through mp. I was happily earning a meagre salary as a technician and was angry with my sister. However, in hindsight, she had helped me significantly as I begin to enjoy studying and become discipline. I later received my Diploma in Electrical Engineering, and soon after, got a Bachelor in Engineering Management. In 2012, I did a Postgraduate Diploma in Social Work. God had help me through many of my good and difficult periods in my studies, and relationships with peers and teachers.
My divorce in 2019 originated from work stress and negligent to my ex-wife needs. I was a workaholic, and have much fears and anxieties. Taking care of 3 children need financing, and work stress in student care and later social work took up time and energy, and me and ex-wife drifted apart.
God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.
God helped me navigated the next 4 years, the consequences of negligent to my ex-wife emotional and psychological needs. I was an angry and negligent husband, and no excuses can sugarcoat the truth. It impacted my children, and I do regret how much it hurt them.
Nights of staying awake, drinking and feeling grief and guilt. God sent angels, through Edward, Simon, Bak Chim, Adrian and breathrens from Duranno Father School. My dad allowed me lodging, mum sent me daily text messages of love and encouragement. Social workers from Care Corner Ctr for Coparenting, ex-colleagues from Sheng Hong Fsc, especially my ex-supervisor, Ai Lin, and Yin Ying, regularly checked in on me. Church brothers Sien Moon and Matthew too call me regularly. God was there, in my darkest days, waiting for His wayward prodigal son to see the light.
Family theraphy talks about family definition, characteristics, and identified 4 major stressors in a family:
- Death
- Divorce
- Disease
- Disasters
God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.
~Psalm 46:1
After, during and after my divorce, God is always there. He did not leave me behind. He led me to read His word, fellowship with His people, hear His Psalms, proverbs and songs, see His creations of strengths of people who see hope, and find joy, love and mercy. Praise the Lord, oh my soul, worship His Holy name.He is my refuge and strength.
I pray that I will be faithful, not only in good times, but also in challenging times. May I be a good steward, and may many seek to hear His Gospel and truth. Semper fidelis.
There are many Dad-isms that really get to me, but his Sphere of Influence speech—that’s got to be right near the top. It’s his logical adult brain torturing my freewheeling, irresponsible teenager brain.
Stephen Wallenfels, Pod
You guys do a lot of weird stuff on here and you think its normal
My dad, Watching Me Scroll Through Tumblr Dot Com
Dad-ism #1
"it was rainin' like pourin piss out of a boot"
@deathmetalmermaid
Yep...keeping up with the hand-lettering, and the Dad-isms have come to an end. And, though other personal works have slowed down, it’s because I have recently picked up a couple clients for some freelance work: a brochure/newsletter and a logo design. Yays! More sketchy/watercoloury stuff to come soon, though...I promise!
Another six days of hand-lettering...March Break is nearly over and I feel like it just started! This set has 4 “Dad-isms”, St. Patty’s Day and another Haiku...my words ain’t got nuthin’ on @jeffreyyamaguchi (really--check out his Daily Haikus, they’re really great!) but I keep tryin’!
