"Don't you have other friends you could talk to this about, Percy?" Carter nudged, shifting a bit back to catch the fallen look on Percy's face.
He vaguely remembered something, late in the night, and Percy's voice hitching as it whispered out a thousand streaming words of how all he does is take and take and take and take and he doesn't see himself doing it, can't figure out how to stop. Guilt crashed into Carter's stomach immediately.
He bit his lip. "It's just-"
"It's different," Percy cut in, pulling back, moving away, getting ready to leave. "They wouldn't get it."
The words were firm, edged in steel, lined with barricades. He was falling back into himself again. Carter cursed everything and grabbed his arm. "Hey. What's up?"
Percy would show up unexpectedly. Carter understood part of why he was there, some big war, going through Hell, nightmares, screaming at the thought, the possibility, of having to do it again, a third time, so soon.
The fact every part of him was built up like a bomb and he was waiting to go off.
"I don't want to hurt anyone," he'd whispered when Carter pulled him in close, all the comforting big brotherly expertise he'd gained with Sadie oozing out onto his friend.
It was very easy to see that behind the cocky smile and outgoing demeanor and malicious eyes, Percy was a quiet person who just wanted to breathe.
Carter could get that.
He'd been that way his whole life. The difference lied in that Carter never reacted, never blew up because he couldn't and Percy did because it was the easiest way to get things to stop. And because, nine times out of ten, it was the only way things happened for him regardless.
Percy titled his head back. "I never asked for any of this. It shouldn't be my job to keep fixing their mistakes."
"It's not," Carter said. "The world is just fucking with you now."
A rueful grimace slipped over Percy's face. "The others... They dont- they wouldn't get it. Annabeth's grown up with it. It was Grover's job and still kind of is. Thalia and I don't really have this kind of relationship. Other than you, Jason is likely the closest person to understanding what it's like to have everyone... expecting things from you just because of some status you never asked for but he's like Annabeth." Percy scowled and leaned back. "He grew up with it. He doesn't know any different."
Carter considered that. Percy reminded him of Sadie a lot, but Sadie was just more expressive because she was like that naturally and Percy was expressive because the world and all its bullshit made him that way.
And Sadie knew of what the world was like before all the gods and apocalypses. She had friends, she had a life. Carter had years of following his dad around, wearing clean cut clothes and breathing in dirt.
Not that he didn't like it. But in some way, despite all the responsibility, the exhaustion, the fact that he was now basically a den mother to a bunch of rambunctious kids and a cat goddess, it had been nice to find out he was a magician.
It gave him a chance to be a real kid. Someone with friends and a home. Losing that now that he finally had it... He didn't know.
It would crush him.
And Sadie had had it, then was forced out of it in a giant explosion and a mysterious uncle they never knew. Percy had it, in some sense, and was dragged out, screaming and running and watching his mother die.
And then forced to be a plaything.
So he understood. There was a difference in knowing your role from a young age and a difference in being pushed into it after years of people telling you that you could be anything you wanted.
Carter didn't see any other path than just following in Dad's footsteps, completing the same studies, the same focus, falling into the same job. After all, he'd grown up around archaeology his whole life. What was the point in pretending like he had other interests? There were no other interests!
But Sadie had fluttered around from interest to interest to interest. Doctor, model, teacher, zookeeper, princess. She had choices, she had options.
So he always understood why she grew stressed in those three years, why she had to leave sometimes, take time off for herself. After years of being her own person, it was suffocating to be told that she had to do something she never wanted to.
Percy was like that. Carefree, to an extent. Still exploring, to an extent. Then one day he's being attacked by a man-bull, his mom dies and a bunch of people are telling him who has to be. Cue another five years of it. Cue forced amnesia so he keeps fitting the role. Cue a walk through hell he's supposed to brush off.
Because he's the hero.
The son of Poseidon.
These things are easy for him, they're supposed to be.
After living a life with the montage "brush it off, brush it off, ignore it, keep going", either out of ignorant statements about him and Sadie or berated comments, questioning eyes just from him being him, he knew all to well the stress of keeping his cool, remaining calm and trying not to let the way the world saw him impact him too harshly.
Carter leaned against the balcony's railing. "Do you want to stay here for a couple days?"
Percy froze. "What?"
"Here, at the Nome?" Carter offered. "I mean, Sadie will definitely fuck you full time and we'll have to put you to work but if you want to clear your head, no better place than here. Where people can't find you."
There was this quiet joy that hit Percy's eyes than broke and fizzled out quickly. "No, Carter. I shouldn't. I mean, I really shouldn't be here anyway, I just-"
His voice broke off and faded away into the night.
A quiet boy who just wanted to be, who kept taking from others and never noticed so he couldn't see how to stop.
Carter squeezed Percy's bicep. "Remember me calling you to talk two weeks ago?"
Percy frowned. "Yeah."
"And then three months before that? And then a week before that because I just could not think of what Sadie wanted for her birthday?"
Percy shifted. "Yeah. So?"
"So, Percy, just because you woke up one day and realized you always ask for help on things you absolutely are allowed help on, doesn't mean people aren't doing the same," Carter said. "You're not a fucking leech, this is a valid offer and you can take it or not. I won't force you. But think, okay? What do you want?"
Percy was quiet for all of a second before he sagged and leaned into Carter's space, a weariness to his frame that no teenager was supposed to have. One that spoke of too much responsibility, no time, no calm, only fast paced jumps from one grapple of issues to the next.
"I want to stay," he mumbled and Carter slunf an arm around Percy's shoulders.
"Okay," he said. "Come on. Let's go in."
--
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