Jun 2
Rotating through like six hyperfixations but unfortunately the fandoms for all of them are dead. 3 dead 40 injured
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Rotating through like six hyperfixations but unfortunately the fandoms for all of them are dead. 3 dead 40 injured
Something I always have to be aware of and analyze is people's intentions with us. My job as a protector is to deem whether or not people are safe, not only for the system, but our daughter as well.
I don't like new people. And it's hard for me to trust even those with innocent or good intentions. I'm aware we all as a system use this blog as a bit of a system journal and we share some pretty personal shit here, but I want it to be very clear, I'm not always comfortable with that. But I also realize my girls need a place to shout into the void. I get it. It's fine. Whatever.
But lately, outer world, we've been getting too much attention from people starting to firgure out who's who and when different alters are out. Pair that with our heighten paranoia dude to flashbacks and nightmares and it's made it extremely hard to function and attempt to make and keep friends. All of me is in fight mode right now and I want to lash out at people and push them away because I know if no one's close to us we're technically safer, but also would then be lonely. I don't wanna do that to my girls, so now I'm just stuck here being pissed off as per usual, trying to fight of paranoia and anxiety. This is a mess.
10 minutes ago, whoever was in charge wanted to unalive but now im just pissed off that insta removed a photo of ours for "bullying and harassment" when it was literally brynn telling lis about how dana almost burnt us cooking. Apparently they deemed brynn laughing and saying something like "lmao thos dumb bitch almost touched a hot burner without thinking" as bullying. And like how the fuck do you fight that claim???
Like "hi this isnt bullying. It was one of my alters poking fun at our host's absent mindedness in a way we commonly joke amongst ourselves and friends. We werent bullying a person externallly, we were talking about ourselves" like??? Cuz THAT doesnt sound crazy at all... i fucking hate it here.
It makes me so fucking mad that our job continues to let this one creepy dude stay a client here when he's causing one of our coworkers severe distress and anxiety because he's been extra creepy with her and other stylists in the past. This poor girl has to miss an hours worth of pay to leave the salon early because of this asshole and he just gets to keep coming here after stalking employees??? That's not fucking fair.
Me? Unhinged?? Never.
Oh my god 🤬🤬🤬 can you not fucking read or are you /actively/ trying to annoy me rn?
And then idk how many times I have to say "yes. We can work Saturdays, but not Sunday" before our boss understands that 🤬🤬🤬
I'm wondering if other systems are in distress over this stupid Apple TV movie like mine currently is. It's rare that I'm triggered out unless we feel we're in physical danger, but right now we as a system feel very threatened by the world around us. This is why it's so hard to be out and open about being a system.
Fuck apple tv. This is bullshit.