Summary: Yearning is dangerous, yearning when you’re a princess with everything you could ever want at your disposal almost feels wrong when there’s so many without, but is it so wrong to desire passion when you’re married to a man who’s almost always drowning in his drinks? There’s love between you, but is it wrong to yearn for more? When is enough, enough?
Daeron Targaryen x Fem!reader moodboard, Lyonel Baratheon x Fem!reader moodboard
Request by anon “Can I request a Johnny storm x reader where reader and Johnny have to babysit Franklin, and Johnny is timid because he thinks he won’t be a good caretaker and it turns out they are both naturals, and seeing r take care of him makes Johnny realize he actually wants to settle down one day? Just like hella fluffy”
A/N- Hope you like it! This was so fun to write!!
Warning-Fluff!!!!
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“Say bye mama! Bye, Dad!”
You try to protest, but there’s no use wasting your breath anymore, Franklin starts to cry at the mention of his parents leaving, making Johnny turn to you concerned.
“Oh no,” Johnny mutters and hurringly meets you halfway to pass Franklin to you as if that would soothe Franklin’s ache.
“Oh, oh, it’s okay. They’ll be back soon,” you try to assure the baby either way as you cup the back of his head to gently caress his head.
“I completely forgot that he does that,” Johnny tries to excuse his mistake before walking around you to come face to face with Franklin who is pointing at the door and sobbing.
“Don’t cry, buddy,” Johnny tries to soothe his nephew. “Mama and Dad will be right back.”
The baby turns his head to look at Johnny to process his words and then cries harder while squirming.
“Oh,” you coo. “Why don’t we get out of here so you can forget faster, hm?” You direct at Franklin and then do just that, expecting Johnny to follow you since you’re both taking care of Franklin, but he doesn’t keep you company upstairs in Franklin’s room, it’s you and Franklin’s toys.
However, he refuses to sit down, so you just pace back and forth in front of the large window that overlooks the twinkling city, desperately hoping that it would calm him down, and it does. Sobs turn to whimpers, and soon there’s only sniffles and then nothing but attentive silence as you recite a child’s fairytale story you know by heart.
Again you expect Johnny to show up, but there’s no sign of him. It’s only when you know Franklin won’t remember that his parents left that you go outside of his room and find Johnny in the kitchen opening a small container of apple sauce.
“He’s forgotten now. We’re all good!” You let Johnny know as you set Franklin down without a fight this time.
“Here, Sue said he’d want a snack right about now,” Johnny says and pushes the container to the edge of the table.
You glance at Franklin, watching him walk toward one of his discarded toys, and then look over at Johnny in slight confusion. “Why don’t you give it to him? He’s all good now. Besides, I can never get him to sit and eat his food. He always wants to be elsewhere.”
Johnny glances at his nephew and then at you and shrugs. “I don’t know. I don’t want to get him upset again. Especially because you just got him to calm down.”
“He’s okay now. He doesn’t remember.”
Johnny debates the choice, but ultimately he doesn’t want to risk it so it’s up to you.
Albeit, just like you told Johnny, Franklin wants to be anywhere else but eating in his high chair, so you chase him around the coffee table for some time until Johnny takes up the challenge, picks up Franklin, and sits him down in his high chair again.
“We’re going to eat our apple sauce, okay?” He tells the little one-year-old and scoops up a little bit of the sauce and drives it towards Franklin, but when he gets halfway he turns the spoon around and pretends to drive it towards his mouth, making plane noises in the meanwhile.
“Oh no, it’s flying toward me now!” He exclaims and then at the last minute turns the spoon back around toward Franklin.
This time the infant opens his mouth with a smile glimmering in his eyes and takes the food Johnny offers him.
You watch Johnny pretend the spoon is a plane, a train, and one time a boat. He makes all the noises too and Franklin can’t seem to get enough. He even tries to imitate his uncle one time, but he tilts the spoon and the apple sauce falls on Johnny’s lap instead, causing him to make a crashing noise that makes Franklin erupt in laughter.
You can’t help but smile in admiration, feeling your heart swoon at the interaction and at Johnny's unknown confidence boost. It makes time pass by fast as he also involves himself more in taking care of Franklin. When it’s not you, it’s Johnny entertaining Franklin or simply keeping an eye out on him because he likes to pick up everything and put it in his mouth. Nevertheless, when it’s not Johnny, it’s you, and most of the time you’re both working together, making Franklin laugh, or changing his diaper which was harder than you both thought because he kept squirming.
Either way, you both work in tandem, finding that it almost comes naturally. That is until it’s time to put Franklin down. Johnny can’t seem to get him to sleep, so you cradle him in your arms and start rocking him back and forth as you pace his room with a quiet lullaby leaving your lips.
Johnny left the room to pick up after Franklin hoping you’d come down while he was cleaning, but he put everything back where it belonged and you were nowhere to be seen so he went back upstairs and found you pressed against the cradle with your chin propped on your arms crossed over the railing.
You don’t seem to notice him, so he leans against the door frame to quietly observe you just watching the way Franklin takes his breaths as he’s fast asleep.
All he can do is smile with growing admiration before it hits him that he likes the sight of you watching Franklin sleeping with a tender smile on your face. He liked the way you rocked Franklin to sleep with a lullaby. He loved the way you helped him when he couldn’t seem to soothe Franklin.
It makes him realize that it would be nice to see you carrying a baby that’s his and yours.
It would be a dream come true as long as it’s with you.
You're all his too so why not try and settle down?
A/N- HAPPY NEW YEAR?? HOW'S EVERYONE FEELING ABOUT THE FINALE??
Warnings- Swearing, fluff, SPOILERS, ANGST, talks of unwanted pregnancy, suggestive sexual language, long chapter.
Pairing- Steve Harrington x Hopper!Fem-reader
Episode- 5x05-5x06, and only part of 5x07
(Let me know if you want to be tagged)
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“I’m having a serious case of Déjà vu,” you break the silence as you track through the dark woods, expecting to hear that you’re lost since the woods all look the same down here, or expecting to see…Eddie come out from behind some dead tree since the last time you were tracking through the Upside Down, he was with you…
In any case, Jonathan responds to your comment, but you tune out his voice when you hear another overpowering voice whispering your name behind you.
It comes out of nowhere so it should be alarming, but it’s Eleven that you hear whispering your name. It’s her voice. Why should you fear her?
You actually grow happy after your confusion passes, and come to a stop. Not realizing that Dustin is passing you by unaware of your sister's voice.
No one actually stops with you. They keep going unaware that you hear your sister and see her and your dad when you turn around.
“El!” You exclaim with a delighted smile growing on your features. “Dad!”
You wave and Eleven waves back with a convincing smile that fools you. That makes your feet move toward them without alerting the others because you thought that they would see what you see, but when they turn around at the sound of your announcement, they don’t see what you see.
They actually don’t see a thing. You’re running to nothing and as soon as they all realize that, Nancy is the first one to yell out your name to try and stop you before Steve echoes her.
And since you’re not in a trance, you hear them clearly and stop to look at them with confusion and slight annoyance before you part your lips to quip because it’s Eleven and your dad! They should be happy to see them, but then out of the sudden, something falls from the tree behind you with a loud and recognizable thud. Something that makes you and everyone freeze and look horrified. Something that raises all the hairs on the back of your neck, and something that makes you realize that you’ve been fooled.
It wasn’t Eleven and your dad. They’re not there.
It was that bastard…
It was a vision, you realize that seconds before you’re swept off your feet and yanked back by a cold and fleshy hand.
“Steve!” You bellow as you hit the ground and then desperately throw your hand out to try and reach him, but just as he cries out your name and breaks away from where he froze, you’re dragged away fast and hard.
“Steve!” You cry one more time before you act on instinct and dig your nails in the ground, hoping it would cause the Demogorgon trouble, but you only leave a trail behind with your fingers.
“Let go!” You seethe and try to twist around, but you can’t.
You would try to reach for your speargun or just a spear to stab it, but you don’t stop moving. It’s running too fast!
You can’t let it take you though. You don’t want it to take you, but what can you do?
Kicking it won’t work.
What can you do?
“Shoot it!” You hear Dustin bellow in the background. “Shoot it!”
But a bullet could hit you, you think to yourself, and want to yell it, but it’s far too late. Nancy shoots, hitting the tree by the Demogorgon’s head, and making it turn to swerve between them so it’d be harder to see and so you’d be harder to see too.
Albeit, as it tries to play smart, it also gives you the ability to throw your arm out and grip onto a tree trunk, bringing the Demogorgon to a sudden and surprising halt.
“Let go you fucking bastard!” You bark and start kicking it as it tries yanking you away. “Let me fucking go!” You roar and kick again whilst you muster all your strength in digging your fingers deep in the tree as it keeps pulling back, causing blood to start trickling from your fingers as the dead tree bark cuts your flesh.
“Let go,” you yell again and reel your leg forward to hit it again, but it reacts by raising its clawed hand and swinging, threatening to slash you or knock you out. Whichever it is, you whimper nonetheless as you keep focusing on trying to somehow get away.
Nevertheless, before its claws can hurt you, it suddenly freezes, making your breath catch, and making you look at it in horror seconds before you’re shocked and out of breath when you hit the ground as it lets go.
Now, you can’t muster a word, but you can flip around and watch it in horror as it stands there frozen before it suddenly lifts off the ground.
Is it Eleven? You think to yourself.
But, that’s quickly debunked when you don’t see her anywhere nearby.
It wouldn't be Vecna either because it’s not like he would stop his own monster when he sent it with the mission to take you to him.
What’s happening then? You ask yourself while you hear Steve and Jonathan yelling out your name before they reach you at the same time and pull you off the ground in a hurry.
“What’s it doing?” Dustin asks in horror and awe. “Is it El?”
You shake your head as you scan the area again. “No,” you say breathlessly before you slip from Jonathan’s hold and cling onto Steve as you see one of the Demogorgon’s arms snap in a way that shouldn’t fold regardless of what it is.
“What’s going on?!” Steve exclaims as he pulls you away from Demogorgon getting its limbs snapped in mid-air.
“I don’t know!” Jonathan shouts back as he backs away from the horrifying sight that musters a shriek before its head is snapped and it falls limp on the ground.
“What the fuck?!” Dustin shrieks and starts approaching it, but you slip from Steve to grab Dustin by the arm and pull him back.
“Don’t, what if it gets back up?!” You snap.
“It’s dead!” He counters as he pulls away from your hold and approaches the Demogorgon to nudge it with his foot. “See,” he adds with a deep breath. “Dead.”
“Do any of you guys have something you want to share?” You ask as you turn to look at everyone in confusion.
“Was it El?” Steve asks, but there’s no need for debate, she's not here.
“No, she has to be here to do that,” you say out loud and look at the Demogorgon again. “She’s not here,” you mumble.
“Whatever it was,” Nancy interjects. “It was our saving grace and our cue to keep going before more show up. We’re almost there.”
You drag in a deep breath and slowly exhale as you’re forced to collect yourself despite what just happened.
“Are you okay?” Steve asks as he grabs you by your arms, making you shift your gaze back to him and draw in another deep breath.
“Yeah,” you breathe out. “Just freaked out now.”
“You and me both. We can take a break though,” he offers. “I’ll tell Nancy, she’ll understand,” he offers, but she’s right. Besides, there’s no time to just sit back. Again.
“No, no, I’m okay. I can keep going on,” you reassure him and slip from his hold to follow after Nancy and Jonathan, offering Dustin a reassuring smile as you notice that he lingered back.
When he notices your gesture he follows behind you, letting Steve now take the rear to make sure the same thing doesn’t happen again.
And thankfully, it doesn’t, but that silence that accompanied you before grows more tense now as you all keep looking over your shoulders more than before so you wouldn’t be surprised again. In doing so, making you feel more like a damn burden because they had to go off course to try and save you again.
You were pursued and captured again! And all because…
What if it happens again? They’ll be forced to go after you. You could say no, but they’d risk their lives anyway. And it’s not like you can just give up. Well, you could, but you don’t want to. No matter how much you think about it as you put one foot in front of the other, and no matter how easy it might be for everyone else. And it’s not because of your ball of inconvenience, you just can’t muster the will to just give up. Be it fear or your own courage, you just can’t.
Thus, you keep going with your head high and eventually, reach the lab without another problem.
Although you remember how big the lab is when you reach it and dread searching it.
“Well, this looks promising,” Steve grumbles as you walk through the lobby decorated with dark vines and an eerie darkness.
“We’re in the lobby,” Dustin remarks.
“And…” Nancy interjects. “Where are we going exactly?”
You nod in agreement as you flash your light all over the room to make sure that nothing is lurking in some dark corner.
“Right,” Jonathan adds. “Like, what is it we’re looking for?”
“You’ve all seen Return of the Jedi?” Dustin asks the group and just as you’re going to ask how it’s relevant, Steve responds first.
“Yeah, that’s the one with the teddy bears, right?”
“Ewoks,” you correct him.
“Yeah, it’s the best one.”
You hum in agreement while Nancy and Jonathan voice their disagreement. “Is it?”
“No,” Dustin says. “But every child loves it, so tracks.”
“Hey,” you whisper, but get ignored. Of course.
This feud between Steve and Dustin is getting so old.
“Well, in the film if you recall,” Dustin continues to explain as you slowly keep moving and searching the lobby. “The rebels need to destroy a second Death Star, but it’s surrounded by a protective energy shield, which is created by a shield generator.”
“Yeah, cool,” Steve cuts in to try to make Dustin get to the point. “Thanks for the summary of a movie we’ve all seen.”
“It’s an oddly relevant movie, Steve,” Dustin snaps, but you’re with Steve here, it’s taking too long to get to the point, so you press the boy.
“Yes, but how so?”
Dustin scoffs before he responds. “Well, I think this circular flesh wall is Vecna’s version of an energy shield, except it’s not sci-fi. It’s supernatural, created by Vecna’s dark magic. And this dark magic shield is what’s preventing us from reaching him and saving Holly. But if my math is correct, the generator for the shield has to be in this lab.”
“Okay,” you whisper in comprehension while Jonathan speaks up.
“So if we find this dark magic shield generator—”
“We destroy the wall,” Dustin continues for Jonathan.
“Find Vecna, save Holly,” Nancy adds.
“Medals for all,” you quip softly.
“And it looks like what?” Steve asks the important question.
“How would you expect me to know that?” Dustin remarks sassily before he turns and walks away, making Jonathan and Nancy share awkward looks with Steve before you pat his arm as he speechlessly points out Dustin’s tone.
When you catch up to the group, Dustin opens a door that blends into the wall and leads you to a staircase that goes up and down many floors. Great.
“Couldn’t Vecna’s dark magic work some damn elevators?” You grumble.
“Well,” Steve says. “It is dark magic.”
“Ha.”
“Hm.”
“Anyway,” Dustin sighs. “Up or down?”
“I say both,” Nancy suggests. “Search in teams of two and three. Cover more ground.”
“Yeah, that’s cool with me,” Steve says. “But can we just switch the teams up? Nance, you come with us upstairs?”
Oh god, it’s gonna start again isn’t it? Another stupid argument.
“Oh,” Nancy stammers. “Uh, I mean—”
“Are you serious?” Jonathan interjects, making you roll your eyes.
“Me and Henderson here, we need some space,” Steve explains his decision.
“Please,” Dustin backs up the idea.
“Please,” Steve echoes.
“Fine. How about I go with you guys?” Jonathan offers himself instead and you start wishing Robin were here.
“I think we need some space too,” Steve argues. “So how about you guys do the babysitting, and me and my girl go up. Alone.”
“You know what?” You finally have enough of the bickering and push yourself between Steve and Jonathan. “We do not have time for this. How about we stick to our usual teams? Jonathan and Nancy stick together, and Dustin sticks with us—”
“No, babe, I cannot—”
“I can’t—”
“I said we stick to our usual teams,” you cut Dustin and Steve off as they speak up at the same time. “Now let’s move!”
“Please,” Nancy hisses and leads Jonathan upstairs, making you, Steve, and Dustin have no choice but to move down.
“Awesome. Just awesome,” Steve mutters, making you shoot him a pointed look as you let Dustin take the lead so you can walk in between both boys since apparently it’s so much trouble being together.
“Well, hopefully we’re able to find that generator,” you try to ease the very thick tension. “It’d suck to know what would happen if the Empire won.”
“It was just a reference to make it easier to understand,” Dustin mutters sassily.
“No, I know…” you trail off and sigh at your failure to bring some ease to the situation.
You knew it wouldn’t be that easy, but you wanted to hear him add something witty that would get the ball rolling. Alas, he keeps quiet and any other attempt to make conversation is shut down as fast as this one, so you just continue down the stairs in silence, cursing the fact that there isn’t any easier way down, and biting your tongue because there’s no way to talk about Dustin with him so close by, and well, it’s not like you can make mindless chatter with Steve because Dustin all you think about.
So, silence is your constant companion until you finally reach the damn basement.
“Okay, that was too many stairs,” Steve is the first one to break the silence, making you snicker and nudge him.
“Or you’ve had too many Boppers.” You snicker again and he just playfully hits your shoulder, making you hit him back.
He then tries to do it again, but you swerve him with a smirk.
“Treasures are always hidden in the deepest depths of the dungeon,” Dustin says, ignoring your playful shadows.
“What is it,” Steve focuses on Dustin now as you continue to follow him after you’ve won. “A treasure or a magic shield generator? Keep your metaphors straight, dude.”
You roll your eyes as you let out a deep and exhausted breath, losing your smile in the meantime.
“Analogy,” Dustin corrects him before he takes a turn towards two giant white doors that look like they could be hiding something behind them, but when the boys open the doors, the room looks like a weird daycare center instead.
There’s a painted rainbow on the floor, and colorful stripes running along the vine-infested wall.
“Okay,” Steve blows out. “Did not expect to find a daycare center in this hellhole. That’s a perk.”
“For who exactly?” You mutter as you get the creeps by the way that this room is furnished.
“Henderson,” Steve quips before he leaves your side to wander to some white table.
“Look,” he points out with a breathless and feigned chuckle. “You were right, Henderson. Treasure,” he says as he picks something up from the table and then turns to throw it at Dustin to catch.
“Okay, you know what?” Dustin retorts after he catches what Steve threw at him.
“What?” Steve asks.
“I think this is the perfect spot for you, considering your arrested development. So, while I search the rest of the basement, why don’t you stay here and play with your balls?”
You roll your eyes and consider pretending to be in pain so they’d come together and share the same worry, but you’re already in the Upside Down and dealing with a lot so you quickly abandon the idea. It’d be too mean.
“Perfect, yeah,” Steve quickly agrees as he catches the little marble that Dustin throws back at him. “Finally, a plan I can get behind.”
“I can imagine.”
“Yeah, good luck looking for your…treasure. I mean shield generator,” Steve throws at Dustin as he watches him walk out of the room. “I mean made-up bullshit.”
“Thank you!”
This is your chance to go talk to Dustin.
Nothing seems to be lurking around, threatening your existence, so this is the perfect chance to finally talk to him.
This is your moment, so you take it.
“I’m going to go search too,” you throw at Steve over your shoulder as you start moving out the door.
“Hey, hey, what did we talk about?!” Steve says exactly what you were expecting, but that’s why you’re already moving, so he wouldn’t actually stop you.
“I’ll be a shout away and I’ll be quick,” you try to assure him. “It’ll be faster to have two people searching the floor anyway.”
“Wait!”
“I’m already out the door!” You exclaim and quickly escape into another room to end the conversation there, expecting not to care about the small random room you barged into, but once again, you get the chills as you see how creepy the all-white room is with just a single twin bed.
Is this how poor Eleven lived? In this small room no bigger than a cardboard box?
You never gave where she came from too much thought. You recognized that it was a horrible place because they kept her in a lab all her life, but the small room and that pristine playroom look like torture and they’re just rooms! You don’t even want to think about what they did to her and her siblings since the moment they were born. Eleven’s painted quite a picture, but you don’t want to give it too much thought than you already have. You can’t, so you leave the room and continue with your task; trying to talk to Dustin.
Thankfully, he didn’t make it far in your short stop to the white shoe box of a room. You find him turning a corner to walk down another hall, so you break into a little jog to catch up with him. Albeit, you don’t fall directly at his side, you follow behind him and search for the generator absentmindedly.
He tries to lose you by quickly walking into different rooms, but you’re not so easily shaken off with your task in mind. You trudge behind him like his shadow until finally he’s had enough.
“What are you doing?” He finally addresses you.
“Helping you search. Two pairs of eyes are better than one,” you explain with a faint smile that he doesn’t see because he keeps his back to you even as he comes to a stop.
“Well,” he sighs. “I can search the floor myself, so you can run back to Steve. I’m sure he’s already missing you.”
“Well, he can wait a little longer.”
“Can he?” He quips, but you pay his comment no mind with how loud your mind is with all the different ways you think of starting the conversation.
If you say the wrong thing this would all blow over and he’d walk away, but you also don’t want to start too strong. You want to start slow, but how? You ask yourself as you wait for him to give you an opening with just a spare glance, a speechless call for help, but he keeps walking with his back turned to you.
He never gives you an opening and this floor doesn’t go on forever, so you just quiet all your thoughts and make your own opening. Besides, he had already met your gaze earlier before after not being able to look you in the eyes for so long, so you use that as an excuse too.
“You know, I get why you’re angry. Everything you're feeling, I felt it too. Differently perhaps, but I know what you’re going through.”
Dustin shakes his head as he slows down. “No,” he argues. “You don’t because your dad came back. It’s not the same.”
“Except it is because before he came back I still thought he was dead. I still grieved him, so yes.” You nod. “It is the same. I was angry. Just like you. I…stopped talking to the people I loved. I pushed them away because it hurt. Just like you.”
Dustin comes to a stop at the sound of your words, but doesn’t face you. You don’t push him either. You just get close
“I almost lost Steve because of it. I let my sister grieve alone. I…liked to say I was there for her, and yes, in some ways I was, but hardly. She was lonely and that was because of me, because I was…in so much pain, and I know that’s what you feel now. That crippling pain that makes you believe that no one understands, but that’s not true because I do. I understand,” your voice quivers.
Dustin lets out a shaky breath before he turns around with his head hanging low. “Tell me did you ever feel like everything would be better if you weren’t here? If-If none of us were here, so it’d hurt less?” He asks, expecting you to be horrified and turn away because even though he’s finally chosen to close that distance between you, he still can’t believe that he's not alone in his pain.
However, you surprise him by nodding slowly. “I did, so much.”
Dustin’s lip quivers and his shoulders shake as he’s on that brink, letting you finally close that gap by grabbing his shoulder.
“I don’t want to be angry,” his voice breaks as tears roll down his face. “Half of the time I don’t even know why I am. I just am.”
“I know,” you whisper.
“I don’t want to push people away either, but I can’t…I can’t lose anyone else. It’d hurt so much.”
“I know.”
“And I don’t want everyone dead. I don’t…I don’t want to die, but it’s so…”
“Suffocating,” you finish for him and he nods as he finally meets your eyes with tears streaming down his face.
“I know. I know,” you reassure him as you caress his shoulder before you slowly pull him in for an embrace. “You’re not alone.”
Dustin weeps as he clings onto you with all his might.
“I'm here. You’re not alone.”
You could follow up by trying to mend the rocky relationship with Steve. You could push him to be anything but hostile, but this isn’t about Steve. All you want is for Dustin to know that he’s not alone in his grief. You can try to mend that later.
“You,” he stammers. “You had so many close calls today.”
He pulls away to face you with more tears running down his face.
“I…I was so…” he trails off, but you don’t need him to finish, you know what he wants to say so you just reassure him.
“But I’m here. I’m right here.”
Dustin lets out a shaky breath and nods, so you cup his shoulders again.
“This pain won’t be forever. And your anger, it doesn’t have to be forever either. I wish I could say that I knew our outcome,” you say softly. “More than anything I wish that I could say that everything will be fine. I'm hopeful it will be. We all are, but we can’t guarantee that…do you understand?”
Dustin nods and lets out another shaky breath as he wipes away his tears. “It’s just…hard,” he stammers. “I know. I just want you to keep that in mind. Not to be pessimistic or anything.” You scoff. “Just to help you consider the way things are.”
“Okay,” he whispers.
“Okay,” you repeat and pat his shoulder before you stroke his cheek and then grab the top of his head to shake it gently as if you were ruffling up his hair since you can’t actually do that.
“I’ll be with Steve in that creepy room, I’ll meet you there, okay?” You let him know before you walk away to let him collect himself, reaching Steve fairly quickly considering you're on the same floor. And when you do find him, you catch him sitting on a shelf playing with a rubix cube.
“I’m back. Unscathed,” you make sure to point out as you waltz in content. Something Steve doesn’t miss.
“And happy?”
You lean against the shelf and nod joyfully. “Oh, yeah.”
“Cause you found something?”
You shake your head and just hint at what happened. “Just finally worked something out that’s been troubling me for some time. You should too, it's like a…weight off your chest. A weight that’s been troubling you for too long.”
Steve scoffs before he mutters. “Well, if he’d make it easier instead of being an ass I would have worked it out, but.” He scoffs. “He’s an ass.”
You roll your eyes and then turn to face him and fold your arms over his knees before you lean towards him.
“Look,” he cuts in before he thinks you were going to say something. “I’m glad you’re working things out. With Nancy and now Dustin, but you can’t fix this for me.”
“I wasn’t. It’s all up to you and him,” you tell him. “I said what I needed to say and that’s all I’m going to do.”
Steve looks up from the cube and looks at you with a questioning look since he knows you better, but you pat his knee and keep to your word mostly because you’re feeling hopeful after the talk with Dustin.
“Uh-huh,” Steve doesn’t believe you. “Says the one who was threatening to withhold sex if I didn’t talk to him.”
“About the car!” You remind him as you push yourself away from him. “I am not going to have an antenna sticking out of the car. Our car because if you remember, we are welcoming a child into this world and I will not have you carrying them in there with an antenna sticking out of it. So you will tell him to fix it…if we end up having a car. That is.”
Steve looks at you with a second of awe because he hasn’t heard you talking about the baby beyond your concern, but you then followed by reminding him about the predicament his car is in so he just scoffs in annoyance before he chuckles and quips.
“Will you withhold sex for a year if I don’t get the car out of here?”
You push your tongue against your cheek and nod slowly in annoyance. “Funny aren’t we?” You mutter and he just raises his eyebrows.
“Quite.” He smirks and then points his eyes at your face as he continues playing with his cube. “Hit a nerve didn’t I?”
You scoff and turn away with the intention of biting the inside of your cheek, but he blurts and surprises you.
“Oh, and there’s the cheek bite. And then the eye roll before the finishing touch, the shaking of the head,” he narrates everything you do so you can’t help but spin around with a growing smile, catching him smirking as he struggles to beat the rubix cube.
“I think I know a trick on how to beat that,” you say as you watch him.
“Okay, but don’t tell me I’ll figure it out.”
You hum in comprehension and watch him for a couple more minutes until finally he gets frustrated.
“Piece of shit,” he grumbles and throws the cube to the floor instead of letting you tell him your trick.
“I told you I could do it…” you trail off as you see an approaching light before the boy who it belongs to walks back in the room, making you feel hopeful.
“Really? You’re actually playing in here?” Dustin remarks with some hostility that he drops as you meet each other's gaze.
“I’m just following orders, dude,” Steve counters. “Judging by the pissy look on your face I assume you didn’t find the shield generator.”
You back away from the shelf and watch Dustin pick up the rubix cube off the floor as he responds with a change of tone. “It’s here somewhere.”
“But you didn’t find it,” Steve keeps making it hard by keeping his guard up against Dustin.
“Yeah,” Dustin scoffs. “Not on this floor.”
“So you were wrong?”
“Steve,” you try to warn, but whatever attempt Dustin was trying to make is slowly getting lost in between the anger and annoyance that is making a comeback.
“You would just love that, wouldn’t you?” Dustin remarks while Steve gets down from the shelf and just mindlessly looks around.
“No, I’m just stating a fact,” Steve says, dropping the attitude he had given Dustin before, but it seems like it’s too late because Dustin matches Steve’s initial attitude.
“No, you’re gloating,” Dustin snaps. “Despite the fact that if I am wrong, we don’t reach past the wall, we don’t save your girlfriend from ultimately being taken, and we don’t find Holly and the other kids.”
“He didn’t mean it that way,” you try to ease the situation, but all hope is lost.
“No, no, he did because he never understands,” Dustin fires back. “Don’t you get that? Don’t you get how selfish he’s being?”
You take a step toward him with desperation, but Steve doesn’t let you mend the situation. He snaps blinded by his frustration. “Me? Selfish? You wanna talk about selfish? How about the fact that when we finally reach Hop and El, we promptly ditch them to pursue this bullshit theory of yours?”
Pursue his theory? When his suggestion was to find a door?
Whatever, you part your lips to stop them from escalating the situation, but you can’t get a word in.
“Not to mention, you’re the reason that we lost contact with them in the first place because of your no-show at the crawl. So this whole mess is actually your fault. And I haven’t heard so much as a sorry.”
Well, that’s not fair…
“Shit. Again, it’s not like I just didn’t show up, Steve,” Dustin doesn’t let you speak. “I was attacked.”
“No,” Steve counters. “You wanted a fight, and that’s exactly what you got. Just look at your face, man.” Steve points out as he starts getting close to the boy.
“You’ve done some stupid shit in the past, but this? Man, this takes the cake.”
“You wanna talk about dumb shit?!” Dustin retaliates, not thinking past his anger. “How about fooling around with your girlfriend when things are supposed to be taken seriously?!”
What the hell?!
You look at the boy a little bit offended that he dragged you into this too.
“Oh!” Steve huffs. “Because I can’t just talk to my girl anymore? My best friend? Do you even remember what that’s like? Having friends?”
“Yeah.” Dustin nods. “I do. I remember what it was like to have a good friend, a real friend who actually believed in me, and who was actually kind to me.”
“Dustin,” you try to defend Steve, but you don’t exist to either man. No matter Dustin’s comment. They’re too consumed with their frustration towards each other that you don’t exist. Which is probably a good thing because at least they can air out everything that they haven’t told one another.
“Aha!”
“What?” Dustin questions Steve’s shouts.
“Aha!”
“What?
“There we go,” Steve says as he gets closer. “That’s what this has all been about, really, is Eddie. All your bullshit, pushing everyone away, it’s because no one could ever be as perfect as he was.”
“Well, he wasn’t perfect,” Dustin quickly rebuts. “But at least he knew that, unlike you.”
“Oh,” Steve blows out.
“He was never fake. He didn’t care what other people thought about him. He was just himself. And you know what? He was the smartest, kindest person I’ve ever met. And he would’ve solved this,” Dustin shows off the rubix cube in his hand. “In 30 seconds flat.”
“Well, if I’m such a goddamn idiot, how come I’m the one still standing here?” Steve takes it past a point that can no longer be interfered with. Or defended, so you step back into the shadows with your heart growing heavier than it already was because what can you do really?
Nothing.
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” Dustin demands to know with hurt.
“That night,” Steve doesn’t back down. “I told you not to be heroes. I told both of you. What did Eddie do? He charged into a swarm of killer bats.”
“To save my life,” Dustin snaps with tears
“He saved no one.”
“He saved everyone!” Dustin barks.
“You can keep telling yourself that, Henderson, but deep down, the reason you’re so goddamn pissed is because you know the truth. Eddie wanted to play hero, and he made a dumb call, and he got himself killed.”
You drop your head as his mean and honest words sting, but before you know it, Dustin is crying out. “Shut up!”
You quickly snap your head up and see Dustin throwing the Rubik's Cube at Steve’s face before he charges towards him and manages to tackle him to the shelf.
“Dustin!” You try to get him to listen to reason in sudden panic, but he starts hitting Steve’s side with his flashlight.
“No! What the hell, man?” You hear Steve exclaim as he pushes him away, making Dustin fall to the floor and drop his things, while you no longer think of a way of trying to get in between them because Steve is not fighting back. He’s trying to get him to stop.
“What are you doing, man?” Steve asks in the same confusion as you. “Stop it. Stop it,” he tries to calm the situation, but as he approaches Dustin, the boy hits him with something hard yet something you can’t see because even if you’re close, it’s happening too fast. All you know is that he keeps hitting him.
“Dustin! Stop! Leave him alone!” You keep trying to diffuse the situation with words while you see how Steve tries to physically stop him by pushing him away again. And again when he’s on the floor.
“Henderson! Hey, Henderson!” Steve shouts, but said boy starts throwing stuff, making you back away.
“Calm down! Calm—Henderson, Henderson!”
“Dustin!”
But it’s no use, he tackles Steve again and shoves him against the wall, making Steve wrap his arms around him to continue trying to stop him.
“Jesus! You’re gonna hurt yourself, man!” Steve cries and tries to push him away again, but Dustin clings onto him and in the effort they both roll to the side and then fall through a window on the wall.
You quickly run over, but go through the open door at the end of the wall, catching both boys getting up.
“All right, Dustin,” You try to bring this to an end as you approach him to try and take him away with you so he can cool down, but when he feels your hand, he swings his elbow back, hitting you in the face before he pushes you back.
“Hey!” Steve calls out without putting up a fight regardless of what he saw, but Dustin is adamant and punches Steve across the jaw, making you quickly collect yourself without any thought and look at the scene in horror.
“Dustin!” You yell, but he pushes Steve back against the wall.
This time before he can go in for more, Steve manages to capture him and press him against his chest with a headlock so he can stop, but Dustin keeps squirming so he makes Steve swing to the other side as you both keep yelling at him.
“Dustin, stop! Enough!”
“Enough! Enough!”
Yet, Dustin uses the wall across from him to shove Steve back against the wall, in which they both end up falling breathlessly to the floor.
“Steve,” you call out quietly and try to go to him as he pushes himself up to his feet with a groan, but he puts his hand up to stop you since Dustin isn’t getting up to continue with his attack.
“You know what, man?” Steve directs at Dustin with his voice quivering. “I’m done.” He sniffles and walks away, making you watch him leave with your heart aching before you don’t think twice of going after him.
Albeit, when you reach the door you stop and look back at Dustin who’s sitting up with tears streaming down his face, and throw your hand out with a sympathetic look to assure him that it’s okay, that you aren’t mad. You understand what happened, but you can’t stay. You have to be a partner to Steve just like you were just a friend to Dustin moments ago.
“I’m done!” Steve says again with his voice still thick with tears.
“Steve!” You call after your boyfriend as you go after him, hearing Dustin trying to get his last word in even if his voice breaks.
“All right, yeah, just run away, Steve! You dumb…fake asshole!”
“Steve!” You call out again when you make it out of the room and start going after him down the hall. “Wait!”
“No,” he immediately snaps back. “You can’t say anything to try and fix this.”
“I know,” you surprise him by saying, so he slows down. He doesn’t stop, he slows down before he rebuts as if he doesn’t believe you’re trying to take his side.
“I tried.”
“I know! Steve,” you plead, making him finally come to a stop so you can reach him.
“I,” he stammers with his voice quivering and his head hanging. “I tried. I didn’t fight back. I wouldn’t.”
“I know, baby,” you coo and cradle his face, seeing the tears break out of his eyes at the feeling of your touch. “I hear you,” you whisper and hold his glistening gaze wet with tears. “I know,” you say one more time before you slide your hands down to wrap your arms around him and pull him in for an embrace that he returns before he lets himself break down. Just a little bit. While you hold him.
“I,” he croaks.
“I know,” you reassure him and hug him tighter, letting him find more comfort in your embrace by burying his face in the crook of your neck. “I’m here,” you whisper one more time before you let the silence also embrace you.
You would bring up how mean it was to talk about Eddie that way to Dustin, but you don’t. You don’t remark on anything he said to provoke Dustin. You forget it to not choose sides and to be here for him because that’s what he needs even if he doesn’t say it.
You’re his comfort just like he’s been yours so many times before.
Thus, you only let him go when he chooses to, which is when his eyes are no longer filled with tears and he’s wiped any trace of them off his face.
“Are you hurt?” He asks as he grabs you by your chin to tilt your head towards the light, reminding you at that moment that you had been hit too. You forgot in your attempts to comfort Steve and stop Dustin.
“Nothing bad. Just a bruise,” you assume considering you’re not in any pain.
“Okay,” he whispers as he studies your cheek for a moment longer before he lets go. “Come on,” he urges and points his light at the door at the end of the hall. “We should go to another floor to look for this shield generator.”
“Okay,” you agree without protest and follow him back to the staircase to go up in silence because you’re true to your word. You don’t bring up what happened.
Eventually, though, you bring up someone else. “Steve, I know this might be hard to digest, but I do hope you can at least be amiable with Jonathan.”
Steve groans, so you quicken your step to walk by him.
“Look, I get it, okay? And I’m not saying you need to be best friends, but his mom is with my dad. And I don’t see them being some fling, which means that he will be a part of my family. And you are a part of my family too, so I just want you to at least try for your sake and mine.”
Steve sniffles and doesn’t say anything. He just sucks in his cheek and nods stiffly, offering you no reassurance whatsoever.
Whatever…
You won’t let it go, but that’s all you’ll say for now.
Anyway, a while passes where you just walk up the stairs in silence before he brings up something himself. “I thought we compromised to stay together.”
You scoff and shake your head. “I just searched the same floor,” you mutter.
“I know, but that’s not the point. Something could have happened—”
“But it didn’t,” you cut him off as you glance at him, seeing his irritation. “Besides, I was with Dustin the entire time. I was okay. I am okay.”
“You got lucky.”
“No, I didn’t and you and I both know you don’t really mean that. Look, I know the compromise we made, but I was also not going to sit around when he needed me, and I won’t when someone else needs me, okay? So please trust me. You said you would and I need you to hold onto that.”
Steve sighs deeply and doesn’t bring up anything else because clearly that’s not what’s really bothering him. It annoyed him, you knew it did, but that isn’t the problem.
However, you don't pick at the problem either. You know your place so you stay in it and welcome the silence’s company while you search and find nothing. No generator or any sign of it. There’s just more vines and perfectly copied furniture.
You would say something that would make him smile. Start a mindless conversation, but every time you glance at him it never looks like the time to try any of it, so you keep quiet because you know that sometimes that’s all you need.
Albeit after a while, as you feel your heart grow heavy as you think back to the fight, you start to question if any of this is real.
What if the second time that the Demogorgon tried taking you away actually succeeded? Vecna clearly got in your head to trick you by making you believe El and your dad had caught up, so what if the fight, what if this moment of silence is also another trick?
He clearly wants to torment you. You also haven’t slept, so what if he’s making you believe that all you’ve lived since the second attack was real, but it isn’t?
“Steve,” you break the silence, making him hum.
“Can you,” you pause and hesitate as you think if this is just a figment of your imagination too. How can you even properly tell? It’s not like you’ll have extra fingers like in dreams so this might as well be a trick too since you can’t hide anything from Vecna.
But you have to know.
“Can you tell me this is real? It’s just,” you swallow thickly. “When we were making our way here, before the Demo attacked me, I saw them so clearly. I heard her so clearly that I didn’t question anything. So,” you breathe out. “Is this real? The attack…your fight with Dustin. Is it all real?”
You look at him and he keeps looking at your way ahead, letting you see a flicker of what you perceive as annoyance over the question. He’s finally had enough of you asking him.
However, when he glances at you, you see it before you hear it, the somber look in his eyes as he wishes that it hadn’t been real, but the fight did happen. “Yes,” he assures you. “It’s all real.”
You nod gently and look ahead, feeling in parts disappointed that their relationship had taken such a hit especially after you had talked to Dustin, but those words are also a great solace to your own deliberating mind as scared as you still are that it all might be fake.
“Okay,” you whisper. “Thanks—”
“But this is why I need you to stay close by,” he lets out his frustration. “Because of what happened. I-I’m not trying to sound possessive or like I don’t trust you, but I just need to be sure that you’ll be okay and I can’t if you’re in a different room.”
You gulp and feel your heart sink with guilt. “I’m sorry,” you offer him before you lift your hand from your side and reach for his to connect them together.
“I just need this to be over,” he says out loud in a moment of vulnerability. “All of it. I’m getting tired of every big moment being tied to this. It’s getting…annoying having to fight so hard for our lives. It would be nice not having to look over my shoulder, and worry about little stuff like a normal person.”
He passes you a tired look and for a moment there’s a second regret as he doesn’t see you mirror his feelings, but then you let out a deep breath that lets your mask fall and shows the same exhaustion.
“I get it. At times I lie awake at night watching the ceiling or you sleep,” you giggle and see him smile faintly before he matches your frown. “Because I don’t want to be tormented by Vecna or because I’ve had such a good day that I don’t want it to end because I don’t know if tomorrow will be my last, or if something horrible will happen…I always thought my biggest worry would be not knowing what to do after high school, but now I’m graduated and I’m worried that I won’t make it another week, or that one crawl would be Dad's last, or that my sister will be caught by the government.”
He responds with a silence that says more than anything he could’ve said because it’s a silence of understanding.
“And you know what’s funny?” He asks with a feigned laugh. “That week before it was confirmed that you were pregnant, when we just thought you were, was the most normal week in since forever. I was scared yet quite excited, and then I knew and I was scared because we knew Vecna wanted her.” He scoffs and you avert your gaze because you never thought of it that way. It’s always been an inconvenience because of Vecna…
It’s still nice hearing him say that he felt a moment of normal.
“Well, hopefully this will be over soon, so we can finally have that life. We deserve it after all we’ve done and all we’ll do…because as much as leaving is tempting, who else but us, right?” You ask somberly. “I mean look at what the government is doing?”
“Right,” Steve whispers with understanding yet a hint of sadness because he knows you’re right.
Soon though, you hope these concerns will be a thing of the past. A faint and painful memory.
As of now they’re real and impossible to ignore.
“Can I ask you something?” Steve asks in a more lighthearted tone.
“Of course.”
Steve smiles at the ground, shifting the somber mood to eagerness as you want to know what he's hiding behind his smile.
“If none of this Upside Down shit had happened do you think we would've still gotten together? I like to think that we would've, but I don't know.” He shrugs. “What do you think? Is it too much hopeful thinking?”
You giggle and grow flustered, catching Steve’s attention and making him grow doubtful and hurt at his assumption. “What? Would you be too good for me?”
You briefly meet his eyes but then when you're under his gaze you grow hot, so you quickly look away and pull to the side.
“What?” He insists impatiently.
“Well,” you giggle. “I actually had a crush on you.”
“Oooh,” he gets cocky.
“I found you quite charming when I first saw you,” you confess and glance at him with your face hot and your heart racing as if you aren’t currently dating. “You were hot, but you were with Nancy and only had eyes for her. So you tell me if we would have?”
“I just said yes…I mean I can't imagine my life without you,” he finishes softly, making you pull back towards him and look at him lovingly before you kiss his shoulder and hook your arm around his to continue up the stairs with a pep in your step and a satisfied smile decorating your lips.
As for how long that lasts? Not long, soon thereafter you hear the faint echoes of running footsteps ascending the stairs.
There’s a second of fear where you and Steve think it’s some demogorgon or something else just as dangerous, but that fear then turns to concern when you hear Dustin crying out for Nancy and Jonathan over and over again, getting louder and louder as he gets closer.
Eventually, when he reaches where you and Steve are, you think he’s going to stop and explain his panic, but he just pushes Steve aside, and in turn, Steve accidentally pushes you.
“What the hell?!” You snap as Steve quickly helps you find your footing.
“What are you doing?” Steve throws out next as you proceed to copy Dustin’s speed.
“Listen to me!” Dustin yells. “Don’t touch anything!”
“Dustin!” You and Steve both yell for his attention so he can explain himself, but it doesn’t seem like he hears you. He’s too lost in his panic.
“Jonathan! Answer me! Nancy!”
“Dustin!” Steve yells right after, but still no answer, instead you get an idea as to what had Dustin so worked up before a loud explosion shakes the building, knocking you and the others off your feet, and making you hit the wall behind you before you fall on the floor. Not hard, or at least it didn’t feel that way, but instead of being dazed, you fall into darkness.
There’s nothing for a second before an unusual soft light kisses your face and greets you as your eyes flutter open.
But how? There’s no light in the Upside Down. Not unless you count the light of the red lightning strikes, or the manufactured light of the flashlights. But neither are soft or as sweet as the light that blinds you for a second before you have the thought of shielding your eyes with your hand.
The question as to how you’re being bathed by such a natural light is still at the front of your mind, but for a moment. Just for a moment, you let yourself indulge in the light's kindness and welcome it at your own speed by slowly pulling your hand away from your eyes. Being ultimately breath taken as the soft sunlight brings your attention to your sister, Eleven as the sun rays completely envelope her sleeping figure.
She’s sleeping so soundly on the full-sized bed that she was given after you moved out. There’s no doubt about it, she’s as clear as day, so you let yourself live in the moment. As manufactured as it is. You live in it because she’s sleeping beside you with no worry in the world, just how it’s supposed to be.
That’s not all though, because when you look around and recognize her room in the cabin, you see a little bundle in between you and your sister, sleeping just as peacefully as she is while she holds Eleven's pinky as her hand rests on the baby's little chest.
They’re both breathing and safe, carrying no fear or worry between their brows. It’s as it should be. Normal and serene. Sweet…
It’s a sweet moment. A moment…you never thought of. A moment you start to yearn for. A possibility…
One that makes you wonder if life can be as sweet and simple as this one? Or the one that plays next like a movie in a theater that you alone suddenly find yourself sitting in, watching you and Steve sleeping at the beach before a wave rolls over you and gives you a rude yet funny awakening. Tempting you to turn it into an actual memory instead of letting it live as another sweet possibility.
Just like the one that plays after that of you helping Steve fix a porch swing before it’s suddenly fixed and you’re sitting together watching the sun go down with someone small and so much like him sleeping on your laps.
It’s a display of a good life, something you crave for.
But…that’s all it is, a display of a possibility orchestrated by someone cruel.
“You must think I’m some kind of fool!” You break the illusion with your cry. “I am not! I am not!”
“No,” his recognizable voice booms before the theater fades into a dark abyss and you fall on a cold ground on your feet.
“But you are a curse. A burden.”
You scowl at nothing, so in your silence, he continues. “And they will all die trying to help you,” he claims. “Your sister,” he says and displays her lifeless body on the ground by your feet, making you gasp even though you know it’s all a cruel mind trick.
“Your boyfriend,” he adds and puts his lifeless body at your other side before he also adds your father across from you, and then everyone else you love, turning the ground into a graveyard, and making you fall to your knees with angry tears welling in your eyes.
“Everyone you love,” he proclaims before his voice sounds softer, like Mr whatsit. “But you don’t have to be their demise. I will offer you this choice. Come with me and make that possibility a reality. I can give it to you.”
You shift around towards Eleven’s lifeless body and gently cradle her young face as you consider his offer for a moment.
She deserves a happy life more than anything, and if you don’t give up you run the risk of putting her in danger all because she would take the task of also protecting you.
But…you also think of that possibility he showed you of her, you, and your sleeping baby, and you want nothing more but to live that possibility and the only way to have it is to keep fighting…
You don't need him to make that possibility a reality. You can do it yourself. Which is why you can’t give up no matter how tempting his offer sounds.
You can’t.
No.
“No!” You reject him confidently so there’s no chance of trying to persuade you further. “No! No! Get out of my head!” You cry and cover your ears and close your eyes, welcoming the darkness.
“Fine,” he grimaces. “Have it your way, but know I will not tire. That child will be mine,” he seethes and it’s the last thing you hear before you jolt awake back in the staircase at the lab with Steve in front of you, smiling with relief as he sees you opening your eyes.
“Oh, god, you scared me!” He remarks with a deep breath.
You pat his hand that holds your face and sigh before you quip. “I’ve hit my head one too many times so if I start seeing my mother just know something's wrong with me.”
“Well, you tell me if that happens,” he says as more of a warning than anything else because he’s not taking it as lightly as you are.
“Come on, let's get you up,” he says under his breath and drops his hand from your face to grab your hand and pull you to your feet.
“Are you okay?” You ask him as you study his face and he gently touches the back of your head with the pad of his fingers to check for any blood. When he doesn’t find any he nods faintly, choosing to put the focus on Dustin sitting on top of the stairs.
“Dustin!” You cry and slip away from Steve to run up the stairs and reach him, noticing that his eyes are open, he’s just staring off into the distance looking troubled, and making you grow more concerned
“What is it?” You immediately press him as you search for any indication of him being hurt. “Are you hurt? Does something hurt?”
As Steve reaches your side, Dustin chooses to respond. “I was wrong. I was terribly, catastrophically wrong.”
Your eyebrows knot and you probe without letting him finish, thinking that he’s talking about an injury. “About what?”
“Yeah, what are you on about?” Steve piles on.
“After you guys left, I found a journal,” Dustin explains, making you soothe yourself since apparently he doesn’t have the kindness to just throw out something to brush off your concern.
“Brenner’s journal,” he continues and you’re lost for a moment before you remember that he’s talking about the scientist Eleven calls ‘papa’. “The key to destroying that wall is in this lab, but it is not a shield generator. It isn’t dark magic, Vecna didn’t make it. Science did.”
Your eyebrows stay knotted together as you hear his big revelation, proving that the little you know about the Upside Down has been wrong.
“Theoretical physicists call it exotic matter,” Dustin continues to blow you away. “A single source of energy that is holding that giant wall together, and I think Nancy just shot it.”
Well, that’s no surprise. She’s trigger-happy.
“How is any of that bad? That’s why we’re here, to get through this wall,” Steve questions as he takes a little longer to grasp the severity of the matter. Albeit a lot of what Dustin says you don’t understand, but given the explosion and what you’ve gathered from what’s happened, and the little you understand, you’ve made a mistake. Or Nancy has.
“You’re not listening to me!” Dustin blurts with frustration.
“I am listening!”
“Well, Vecna didn’t make the wall,” Dustin says what you’re starting to understand. “So he isn’t on the other side, which means Holly and the missing kids aren’t either. Nobody is.”
“That’s why when the Demo took me from the car we didn’t quickly reach where it was taking me,” you speak up quietly as you share your revelation. “We had crashed into it. It would’ve been an easy trip, but it was taking me through the woods.”
“Exactly,” Dustin agrees with a deep breath.
“Then what the hell is on the other side of that wall?” Steve wants to know, but the boy with all the answers stays quiet, making your heart stop beating as you see the complexity of the answer in his troubled eyes.
“Dustin,” Steve presses. “What’s on the other side of that wall?”
“Death,” he finally deadpans, making you and Steve share a heavy worried look before you sit back against the railing.
“This whole time,” Dustin continues as if he still can’t believe what he’s saying. “Everything we have ever assumed about the Upside Down has been…dead wrong. This place, the Upside Down, it isn’t another dimension. It’s not another world. It’s a wormhole. A bridge between two points in time and space between our world and another.”
You blink with disbelief.
“And if the bridge collapses?” Steve queries.
“It will take us with it. All of us.”
You let out a deep breath and lean forward before you rub your face and start wondering one thing. “Then wouldn’t we be sucked into oblivion?” You ask your question outloud. “If space is surrounding the bridge then why isn’t anything happening? It’d happen instantaneously.”
Dustin nods speechlessly and then pushes himself away from the wall to pull off his backpack and pull out a journal he starts to flip through without answering your question.
“Hello?!” You wave at him for his attention.
“So what? Earthquakes? Heavy winds?” Steve lists his assumptions, making you look over at him morbidly and shake your head before you share what you know.
“Nothing. We'd feel nothing. Theoretically, when a wormhole collapses they do so faster than light, so…we should be dead.”
He blinks slowly and in disbelief before he runs his fingers through his hair and gets up. “Well, that’s great!”
“I mean compared to other deaths, yes. It’d be painless and over before you know what’s happening. Unless they’re wrong and it happens painfully slowly,” you muse, finding pride in what you know about space.
“Way to sound happy about it,” he quips and you sit back and shrug.
“Well, I’m starting to get an idea of what’s happening thanks to my previous knowledge of space. And it’s all pretty cool actually. If you take away the fact that we’re caught in the middle of it.”
Steve nods as he starts pacing impatiently.
“Which is why we need to know if you have a clue in there about how long it takes a wormhole to collapse?” Steve disturbs Dustin. “Ten minutes, maybe 20?”
“Well, like she said it should have been instantaneous. Clearly not,” he mutters and flips a page.
“Why do you sound disappointed we’re still alive?” Steve points out.
“I’m not disappointed—”
“Well, you sound disappointed,” Steve cuts him off, making Dustin interject.
“I’m confused.”
“Ah.”
“As far as I see it, there are two distinct possibilities here. Either this is the afterlife, and we’re all spirits. Which seems likely.”
“Ooh,” Steve makes commentary.
“Or—”
“Or Nancy didn’t completely destroy the exotic matter,” you assume what Dustin is going to say. “The walls would have collapsed if she did, and again, we would’ve been sucked into oblivion and ceased to exist.”
“Okay, so what are we waiting around here for?” Steve breathes out as he crouches to snatch Dustin’s walkie from the floor before he strides off.
“An explanation presumably,” you throw out as you get up and without question, start following Steve up the stairs.
“What are you guys doing?” Dustin immediately questions.
“To see if I can get a damn signal to find Nancy,” Steve states the obvious, sending Dustin off his feet.
“Guys, wait!”
“Let’s go, Henderson,” Steve ushers him without stopping.
“Wait!”
“Let’s go. Let’s go,” you add to the pressure as you follow Steve past a door that leads to another dark and lonely floor.
“We don’t know if it’s safe up there,” Dustin finally shares his hesitation.
“You guys said the exotic matter wasn’t destroyed,” Steve uses that against him.
“No, she said that it wasn’t completely destroyed and I agree,” Dustin throws out while you follow Steve down different halls. “But it is very clearly disturbed. We have no idea what effect this will have on matter, space-time, gravity. This whole building could very well be a highly unstable, physics-defying death trap.”
“Well, it seems pretty stable at the moment,” you try to assure him as you follow Steve out into a courtyard.
“Nancy, you copy?” Steve speaks to the walkie as you all walk to the middle of the courtyard hoping you’ll find a good signal. “Jonathan, are you there?”
You wait around Steve for a response, noticing a harsher light coming from above before you hear something strange coming from above.
“Hello?!” Steve exclaims whilst you drift your attention upward and gasp when you see a bright, furious red ball of exotic matter floating above your heads
“Mother of god,” Dustin muses as you’re left speechless and fascinated yet completely terrified.
“Please tell me they’re not up there,” Steve says and you hope they aren’t, but given what happened you would bet that they are. He should ask if they’re okay instead, or if they’re the victims of the exotic matter being disturbed.
You hope that they aren’t. They just can’t hear their walkie. That’s all…
But you can’t know. Not from here.
“Jonathan,” you whisper your concern before you start walking backward without being able to take your eyes off the glowing red matter.
If only you could scale the walls to reach the top faster, but it’s impossible and as your eyes trail up, the more you notice the melting walls the closer they get to the glowing red ball.
“Jonathan!” You cry out and spin around to take the initiative and bolt.
“Wait!” You hear Steve yell before you hear him running after you.
“Wait!” Dustin echoes, but for a different reason. Instead of trying to catch up, he’s trying to stop you from going any further, but it’s a waste of a breath because with Steve’s encouragement and support, you only run faster up the stairs with the hopes that you’ll find Jonathan and Nancy still alive.
And considering that there was no tear that led to a void, and that the lab is still standing and not in any kind of danger, there’s no thought in your mind of stopping or even considering it. Even if the higher you get, the more goo you see running down the walls and puddling on the steps you take. You just run with the thought of reaching Jonathan and Nancy.
“Guys, if you can hear us, we’re coming,” Steve keeps trying to reach the couple. “I repeat, we’re coming!”
“Guys, slow down!” Dustin keeps insisting. “The higher we go, the more dangerous it gets!”
“It must be the exotic matter messing with the signal,” you say hopefully.
“Or Dustin’s broken walkie,” Steve remarks. “All the more reason to speed up.”
You hum and feed off your determination and fear to speed up, ignoring the puddle of goo that makes you work harder.
“We’re no use to them if we’re dead,” Dustin snaps. “Guys!” You hear Dustin yell before the steps beneath you suddenly sink before they collapse, threatening to bring you down with them if it wasn’t for a force pulling you back to stable ground as you yelp.
Nevertheless, you don’t see who your savior is just yet. Your attention is caught by the big melted hole where you once stood and then, your attention trails up to the hole above your heads that lets you see the flights of stairs you still needed to take and the ceiling way above that’s dripping more goo.
“As I was saying…” Dustin trails off.
You exhale shakily and choose to let what happened settle for a second, so you take the time to peer over and realize that it was Dustin who was fast enough to save not only you but Steve too.
“Thanks, buddy.” You pat Dustin’s shoulder and let out another deep breath, feeling settled enough to point out the door that leads to another floor.
“Maybe we can use something to put over the gap. And climb over it instead…each time.”
Steve snaps his fingers. “Great thinking,” he praises before he leads the way out the door.
“Wait! Guys! Did you not just see what happened?!” You hear Dustin yell after you as you march down the hall in search of something tall and stable enough to use.
“A table maybe?” You give Steve an idea. “We can lift it between the two of us.”
“Sure, but first…” he trails off and backpedals before he points his flashlight at a wooden door. “Let’s check here,” he finishes and opens the door to a helpful utility closet.
“Oh, thank you,” Steve mumbles to himself as he hands you his flashlight before he walks in and picks up a ladder, causing you to back away from the door to let him walk out and lead the way back to the staircase with the helpful object in hand.
“Steve, what the hell are you doing?” Dustin retorts. “That’s not gonna work. Stop! Stop” He protests as he watches him climb up the stairs to set the ladder down over the melting gap.
“Steve!” Dustin keeps shouting before he follows by shouting your name as you help Steve fix the ladder over the gap to make sure it’s stable enough.
Albeit, you do notice the ladder trembling as you’re fixing it so you start to doubt.
“Maybe we should find something else,” you express your doubt. “It’s wobbly.”
“Do you trust me?” He says over your shoulder, making you loll your head to the side and shoot him a pointed look.
“Oh, you don’t get to use that against me,” you snap.
“Just hold it! And I’ll hold it for you and Dustin!”
“I’m serious!” Dustin interjects between your argument. “It’s not safe! Guys!”
“Steve, stop it’s not stable,” you now team up with Dustin, but Steve argues back.
“Do you want to save your precious brother or not?”
“Oh,” you groan and press your hands on the ladder to firmly grab it. “You’re impossible.”
“Yep, but you’re still doing it. Now hold it still,” he says before he puts his hands on the ladder and then raises his foot to start climbing.
However, before he can even get far, Dustin bellows. “No, don’t!” He then lunges forward to grab Steve by his jacket and yank him away from the ladder. “Stop being an asshole!” He cries, leaving you bewildered.
“I’m not being an asshole!” Steve deflects. “I’m trying to get to them!”
“You’re always trying to get yourself killed,” Dustin’s voice breaks, making you close your mouth just as you were going to try and stop them from arguing.
“And I can’t let it happen again. Stop being so selfish, please,” Dustin begs with tears streaming down his face. “If you go on there, you’re gonna die, and I can’t deal with it again. You can’t die ‘cause I can’t deal with it again. Don’t let it happen again,” he weeps, making your heart break yet making you smile ever so softly as that tension is at last broken.
“Please. Please don’t let it happen again,” he pleads before he goes in for an embrace that Steve welcomes.
“Not you. I’m sorry.”
“No, no, no,” Steve assures Dustin as he holds onto him before the ladder that you had placed over the gap, then falls through the hole as more of the stairs melt.
Even so, Steve keeps holding onto Dustin, making that concern feel like next to nothing as your heart swoons and tears cloud your eyes at the sweet moment being had in front of you that you hope won't end, but…
After a couple of minutes of basking in that silence that mends what was broken, Dustin and Steve pull away, bringing focus back on the gap.
“Well,” Steve sighs. “Looks like we can’t go this way.”
You hum in agreement and look around for an answer until you focus on the door as you think of something. “There should always be more than one fire escape in a building this big right? One on either side?”
“Unless, it’s also melted,” Dustin points out.
“Well, here’s hoping it’s not. Shall we?” You point to the door. “Or should I give you guys a moment?”
Steve rolls his eyes. “You would like that wouldn’t you?”
You smile at him. “I would as long as it meant no more fighting.”
“Well,” Steve raises his hands. “I’m all good on my side.”
Dustin draws out a deep breath and nods gently. “Yeah, I’m all good. Just please could you both stop getting into danger? I…I mean it.”
You and Steve share a faint smile before you pat Dustin’s shoulder and reassure him…as best as you can. “We will try. Are you sure you’re okay?”
He nods and smiles at the floor before he passes you a knowing look which you can’t decipher, so you just let him go without sharing that knowledge.
“Okay, let’s go, let’s go,” Steve rushes you, making you leave the room and trudge through the hall that holds puddles of goo and leaks more from the walls, threatening to collapse the floor you’re on and make Nancy and Jonathan inaccessible from the inside because there should still be a fire escape on the outside of the building that leads to the roof, right?
And if that doesn’t work, you’ll…well you’ll cross that bridge when you get there.
Luckily though, you’re able to make it to the other firescape and see that the stairs are intact enough to walk on. Albeit, you’re not as quick as before out of fear you’ll sink. You take one step at a time as you keep your eyes peeled.
Sometimes one of you would try to lighten the mood, but it wouldn’t last and most of the time it wouldn’t work. You’re too focused on not falling to your deaths to let that lightheartedness last.
However, when you’re a few floors from the last floor, you feel the goo harden under you, making the stairs stable.
“The goo!” You exclaim. “It’s hard!”
Dustin and Steve share a relieved smile that matches the look on their faces before they answer that relief by quickening their pace, making you match it before you get ahead and lead the way.
“Hey,” Steve breaks the silence before he gently strokes your back. “How’s your head?”
You peer back and throw him a thumbs-up. “No signs of a concussion or my mother, so I’m okay…unless this isn’t real?” You start to doubt.
“Well, considering we almost fell to our deaths and the goo suddenly turned hard, I’d say it’s not, but it is. Thankfully,” he sighs. “Now let’s hope we remain lucky enough to find the other two.”
“I’m sure we will,” you quickly try to remain positive, hoping that if you said it it would become true.
“Would now be the wrong time to say,” Dustin pauses after he cuts into your conversation. “That you guys talk really loud.”
Your eyes slightly widen before you peer back at Steve and share a confused and panicked look.
“What?” You slowly drag out and find his gaze, sharing that panic with him as he looks back at you with that same knowing look from before. Only this time he also smirks smugly.
“Wait,” you blurt. “What? Dustin?!”
“Oh look, the door,” Dustin snickers and leaves you confused as he opens the door and walks into the floor first.
“What do you think he heard?” Steve asks what you’re now overthinking.
“I,” you stammer. “I don’t know. I haven’t told you any gossip.“
“We haven’t even had time to sneak off either. Maybe just in general?” He wonders as he lets you walk into the floor first before he follows after you.
“I…don’t know. Dustin!” You yell after him as you run over to the hardened wall he’s standing by.
“I’m thinking we should try here,” he says, avoiding what you want to ask him to playfully torment you and Steve.
“Give me a spear,” he adds before Steve takes a spear from your sheath and motions you back.
“Step aside,” he instructs and since the work doesn’t look strenuous you do as he asked and watch him start to pound on the hardened wall, making debris start to rain over him before he starts to make a dent.
He then proceeds to put more force behind his swings and cracks the wall, but since it doesn’t give you access to the room, he keeps hitting it over and over again until he finally tears through the wall, causing you to hold onto your breath as you fear that Jonathan and Nancy won’t be inside.
Nevertheless, Steve then offers you back your spear and pokes his head in. “Sorry we’re late,” you hear him say, offering you relief and letting you draw out a relieved breath before you shove the spear back in the sheath and join him by the hole.
“Jonathan! Nancy!” You greet them with a smile and they return it with just as much pleasure before they hurry over to cross to the other side.
“Here,” Steve offers Nancy his hand to help her over to your side.
“You guys okay?” You immediately ask as she lands on the floor safely.
“Yeah,” she assures the group. “Yeah. We’re okay.”
You pat her back gently before Dustin steals her from your side as he surprises her with an embrace.
“Thanks,” you hear Jonathan say behind you, making you turn to grab his arm and pull his attention toward you.
“Jonathan! Are you okay?”
Said man holds your gaze before he studies you too. “Yeah, yeah. Are you?”
You nod with a smile before you drag your hand up and squeeze his shoulder. “Your mother would’ve killed me if I went back without you,” you bring up what he told you earlier today.
“Yeah,” he chuckles. “Like your dad would let her.”
You giggle and he lifts his hand to offer your shoulder a squeeze before your attention is taken by Dustin’s stammering.
“We just…we three thought…”
“We were goners,” Nancy finishes for him. “Yeah, we did too.”
“Yes.” He nods.
“Turns out that shield generator of yours…”
“Isn’t really a shield generator,” Steve interjects. “Yeah, we know.”
“Well, you’d think that would have been good information to share,” Nancy remarks, making Steve pull out Dustin’s broken walkie.
“Well, we tried.”
“The antenna snapped,” Dustin adds before you chime in with the truth.
“They broke it in their fight.”
Nancy hums and then focuses back on the matter at hand. “Okay, so then what the hell did I shoot?”
“Exotic matter,” Dustin puts it simply, but as simple as it is they’re both confused.
“And we’re supposed to know what that is?” Jonathan asks, making Steve snatch Dustin's flashlight to let Dustin take out the journal he found.
“It’s all in here,” Dustin shares. “Look. Check this out. Dr. Brenner’s notebook from ‘83. This thing is a gold mine.” He muses as he shares what’s inside. “All his research into the gate, how he created it, what it really is. I’m still deciphering it, but…”
“Yeah, this shit will fry your brain,” Steve interrupts him.
“But,” you add. “Holly isn’t on the other side of the wall.”
Nancy looks at you with anger before she questions you with a tone to match. “Then where is she?”
“We don’t know…exactly,” Dustin answers for you. “But where she is, it’s not the Upside Down.”
Nancy drops her anger and looks upset as she’s left with far more questions than answers.
“Why don’t we sit down and try to find something that could…answer our questions,” you suggest as you point at the space beside you.
And since there's nowhere to go and there's no danger currently threatening your lives, you take a moment to rest, letting Nancy and Jonathan look through the journal, hoping that they can find something that Dustin couldn’t.
Albeit a lot of it is too complicated to understand or not what you’re looking for. If you had more time you could understand more of what’s jotted down, but with the time and where you are, all you can do is flip through the journal.
That is until suddenly Nancy blurts. “What was that?” And gets up to walk away from the group and look up.
“What was what?” Steve asks what you’re all wondering, but instead of answering she lets a silence unfold that lets you hear a distant scream.
“Holly,” Nancy announces and runs off.
Jonathan and Dustin are quick to follow while you and Steve question how she knew it was her sister before you follow them to the fire escape and then up to the roof.
Once you’re outside, a distant voice calling out for Nancy leads you to the middle of the roof and pulls your eyes up to the sky where you see Nancy’s little sister, Holly floating in the sky. She’s not falling, she’s just frozen in place as if…someone’s holding her there.
“Nancy, help me! Help me down, please!” Holly yells desperately.
“Holly!”
“We have to…get her,” you say breathlessly as you start to realize why she isn’t moving.
“Nancy! Nancy, please!”
“Holly!”
“Hurry!” You urge Steve so he could help you think of something before…he, Vecna could do something.
Alas…
“Nancy!” Holly cries again and for one last time before suddenly she’s yanked back to the sky, letting only her last scream echo before she’s no longer in sight.
“Oh god,” you gasp and cover your mouth as you’re left stunned. And you’re not the only one. The shock and speechlessness spreads over the entire group, leaving you frozen there until Jonathan turns to Nancy and starts to comfort her, leaving you, Steve, and Dustin left to the side.
“Let’s get you back inside,” Steve ushers you so you won’t suffer the fate Holly just did.
“Hello,” a voice suddenly breaks through the walkie, causing you all to freeze and look at Dustin. “Come in…Dustin!”
“Someone,” you whisper before you shout. “ANSWER!”
Dustin fumbles with the walkie before he finally holds it firmly and tries to respond. “We’re here. Over.”
You wait for a response as Nancy and Jonathan huddle around Dustin and wait.
“Hello? We’re here. This is Dustin, over,” Dustin says, making you share an excited look with Nancy before you listen to Dustin try again.
“Is anyone there? Repeat, this is Dustin.”
“Dustin! It’s Mike,” he responds, making you relieved to hear his voice for once.
“Holly’s escaped from Vecna, and she’s on her way to my house in the Upside Down. I need you to get there as fast as you can and rendezvous with Holly. Do you copy?”
Your smile falls and your relief turns to pity.
“Holly’s not at the house,” Dustin shares. “We found her. We found Holly. Repeat. We found her.” Dustin says and waits for a response before there’s only static making him press his friend.
“Mike! Can you hear me? Mike?!”
“We’re…coming!” Is all he says before there’s static again, but what does it matter? They found a way to reach you. They’re coming!
A/N- I really hope you guys like it. I love how this turned out and have so much planner!
Warning- Spoilers, swearing, yearning!! Eye color is described as amethyst (that’s all though!) Age gap with Lyonel.
Pairing- Daeron Targaryen x Targaryen!Fem-reader, Lyonel Baratheon x Targaryen!Fem-reader
Episode- 1x01
(Let me know if you want to be tagged)
————
The air is crisp. The air is invigorating with each inhale. The air is unlike anything else.
The body is perhaps not meant to breathe from so high within the clouds, but it’s different for you…you were meant to fly with the birds and dance amongst the stars. Once.
If your husband, Daeron is right, just like he was right about the two of you getting married, then one day the dragons will sing their mighty song and rule the skies again. One day.
Until then you will let your mind relish in a carefree fantasy and pretend that the breeze flowing through the long arch windows is coming from the endless sky, and that the delicate approaching footsteps are the sound of flapping dragon wings.
You will stay there until your father, Baelor’s gentle voice brings you back behind the tall arch window.
“Fantasing again are we?”
You don’t deny it. You can’t. “Mhm. I dreamt of him again. He was bigger this time, but he was no different otherwise. He was just as beautiful with his scales black as midnight that glimmer like silver stars under the moonlight.”
You sigh and gently hit the stone windowsill with your hand as you're reminded that your dream could never be anything but a stupid fantasy.
“It’s torture dreaming of something I can’t have,” you let yourself complain. “Why do we have to live punished and not have dragons? Not even small ones?”
Your father finally falls at your side and admires the calm horizon ahead of you. “Because our ancestors made a grave mistake that cost us what we worshiped, but ended up putting us on the path.”
“Well,” you scoff. “That’s truly despicable,” you grumble and bend down to prop your elbows on the stone windowsill and plop your chin on your palms.
“So,” your dad chuckles lightly. “You’d rather us not exist to have dragons instead?”
“Who says we wouldn’t exist? We exist because Dorne finally and truly decided to join the realm through marriage. Back then,” you wave your hand back. “All those years ago, Dorne hadn’t joined the rest of the realm, but they would have eventually. Sooner perhaps.”
“And you see, my daughter, that’s where our troubles commence. Any sooner and we would cease to exist,” he tries to be wise, but you’re not listening to reason. You’re not in the mood to think of it logically.
“But we would have dragons,” you insist. “We don’t though and all because they couldn’t fathom letting a woman rule.”
“Well, amongst the many other problems, yes, that is true,” he finally sides with you, letting you turn your head to glance at him before you stand up straight and turn to face him with a faint smile that lights up his kind mismatched eyes.
“Tired?” You ask as you remember his very taxing day.
“Not quite,” he says what you assumed he would say and what he has always said since you’ve learned to ask that question or anything similar.
Truly exhausting days are when you’re fighting for your life in a war, he says. Days doing my duty as Hand are taxing, but nothing short of enlightening, he says. It’s a bunch of bullshit, but he’s never been one to let you see his weakness.
He is like every other man though, you know that and have never respected him any less because of it. In fact, him showing how to hold his head high despite all the troubles being heir and Hand of the King brings is a quality you admire.
“Walk with me?” He asks and offers his arm.
You know that there isn’t always a reason to take a stroll. You enjoy your leisurely strolls together, but this time you see that he’s hiding a reason behind his invitation.
“Of course,” you accept and hook your arm around his to let him lead the way down the bright hall.
“As you may already know, I am to attend the tourney at Ashford,” he starts out, piquing your curiosity
“Yes,” you say lightheartedly and grow far more curious as to where this is going. “Grandfather asked if you could go in his stead.”
He scoffs. “He asked out of courtesy, but I was already planning to go because it is my duty…do you know why?”
You draw in a deep breath and with an amused smile you give his question some thought, earning his prolonged stare as he watches with admiration as your fierce amethyst eyes burn even more radiant as the wheels turn behind them.
“Lord Ashford may be a lesser lord, but even so it’s just as important that we show that we care about all our lords and ladies. Small or big,” you start to explain your thoughts out loud as you make sense of them. “It strengthens their respect and loyalty to the crown. And it shows our strength. That we are a united realm. After such a bloody war, it offers the people a sense of reassurance and hope,” you muse with such a fierce passion that he can’t help but be enveloped in it.
“Lastly, it shows that we can all sit around the same table. In a sense of course. We can all have fun together.”
Your father hums, causing you to realize what you just said and making you look at him with your breath caught in your throat as you wait to hear or see what he thinks.
He’s good at masking his face though so he makes it hard for you to read him. Thus, you’re left on the edge.
“Why me though?” He piles on another question, making you draw in a long breath and think for a second before you respond. “Why not the king as well or any of his other sons who are also princes?”
“The King is the King. He could send any of his other sons, but you are the King’s Hand and heir. Who better than you? A man who holds just as much respect.”
Your father points his chin to the air and nods slowly, turning your stomach in knots and making your heart race.
“Very well said,” he finally says, letting your heart and your breath calm while your stomach slowly unravels. “Spoken like an heir.”
Oh no. It’s all in shambles again.
“Father?” You question because maybe you didn’t hear him right.
“I have not misspoken,” he asserts himself as he comes to a stop just under the great Iron Throne. You hadn’t even realized he had brought you to the Great Hall until you came to a stop and the Iron Throne cast a large shadow over the both of you.
“You are my firstborn child—”
“But a woman,” you cut him off uncertainly. “And Valarr...”
“Had your grandmother not been Queen she would have ruled as princess in Dorne like many of the other women that came before her,” your father quickly explains. “If that’s what she would have wanted of course.”
You look at the Iron Throne basked in glorious sunlight and think of all the Kings that have sat there and ruled before your time. You then try to think of Queens, but you only come up with three if you count Princess Rhaenyra’s short and unofficial reign.
There is a reason why there haven’t been many Queens…because the people don’t like the idea of being ruled by one so what would make you so different?
“But the realm will never accept me,” you say quietly as you look back at your father.
He holds your gaze and draws out a deep breath before he raises his hands off his sides to grab your hands with an assuring look that lets you find your breath.
“I know it’s unfair for me to say this,” he speaks softly, making your racing heart ease. “But that’s why you will have to make them accept you. Earn their respect. Their admiration. Make them want no one else but you after me.”
You sigh deeply and tighten your hold around his hands to seek more comfort in this storm of confusion and perplexity. “But why?” You ask meekly.
“You have potential. I see it in you every day,” he responds without hesitation. “And…you are everything our house needs now that we don’t have the strength of our dragons. That’s important to note now. You know that just as much as I do.”
You swallow thickly and shake your head. “And…and if I don’t want to? What if I am content as I am now? What if I am content being passed over?”
He chuckles breathlessly and gives your hands a gentle squeeze. “What great ruler ever wants to wear the crown? But.” He pauses and smiles softly with admiration. “If that’s what you wish then that’s fine too.”
You scoff. “Will it?”
He lets one of your hands go to stroke your cheek. “Yes, because you will still be everything to me. Nothing will change that.”
You smile through the lump that forms in your throat and your watery eyes.
“It will be your decision,” he adds. “Hopefully not until a long time from now, but if you choose that it’s your calling…the offer will be yours to take.”
You nod. “Okay,” you answer shakily before you can’t help but throw your arms around him and embrace him.
Nothing is said between the two of you. You just relish in the comforting silence and the bliss for a moment until you pull away and take him by the arm to walk side by side.
“Will you be competing in the tourney?” You ask even if you know the answer to the question.
“No,” he states, but you still press on to get across what you have to say.
“No? Is it because you’re getting old? They’d have to call you, Baelor Rustedspear.”
Your father chuckles and you can’t help but smile giddily at the rich sound of it.
——
*SOMETIME LATER. ASHFORD MEADOW*
How incredulous…
And ever so marvelous…
There could probably be nothing more terrifying to a small creature with the heart the size of your thumb than a towering stag with large pointed antlers, but the brown little bird stays propped peacefully on the stag's antlers basking in the soft sunlight that shines through the tree tops.
There’s no mistaking the gentle giant for a tree branch either. Not for a wary bird so dangerously close to the ground. The stag chews loudly on its afternoon lunch, he breathes in and out loudly through his nose, and flicks his ears every now and then. Any little creature would know what it is and scurry the other way, but the little bird doesn’t seem to care. It cares only for its peace, and the sun, and that’s good because it allows you to sketch their portrait.
How could anyone pass such a stupendous sight and not want to mark it down so the moment could live forever, even past human memory?
Nevertheless, as always, peace is ruined by something you don’t catch, but both creatures do.
As the brown little bird takes no risks and flies off, the stag points his ears up to the tree tops and then quickly points them towards you. Only it’s not you that it finally noticed. That would’ve happened long ago when you first found it and hid behind the thinning shrubbery.
It hears something else. Someone? Not so far away lies Ashford Keep and currently it’s buzzing with many people. It wouldn’t be odd for some of them to wander into the woods. It’s actually expected of them before all the games commence, so if it’s someone are they dangerous?
Should that even be a question you should ask yourself without guards nearby to come to your rescue?
They make far too much noise in their shiny armor so you ordered them to wait past the woods and to only come search for you once the sun starts going down. Right at this instant the sun is high in the sky, not even close to going down, so maybe you should be like the bird and take no risks.
Or should you be cautious like the stag who stands so incredibly still to listen and watch.
No…maybe. What if it’s nothing? Creatures are spooked easily.
But wouldn’t the stag continue eating if it was nothing? It stays still and twitches his nose to smell the air, but doesn’t give anything away.
If only it could speak and say what it smells and hears, but it doesn’t so after two heartbeats you secure your sketch book under your arm, pull out a hidden dagger, and scare the stag off by cutting through the shrubbery you were hidden behind to stalk through the close knitted woods until you spot a flash of black moving to where you had been watching the stag and the bird, letting you know that it’s something intelligent pursuing the stag…or you?
If they caught you hidden amongst the shrubbery they would’ve seen you sneak away, so you keep moving slowly, making sure to avoid any dry leaves or branch littered on the forest ground so as not to be caught as you make your way around them.
You should just take this chance to book it out of the woods, but you’re far too curious as to what it is that had alerted the stag and scared off the bird, so you manage to find a way around them without being caught and discover that it’s a man.
Not just any man, he’s tall and lean. He’s not too muscular, but not thin either. You can see the curves of his shoulder muscles under his black and expensive leather, something that tells you he’s high-born or a well-off knight.
He’s older too. Older than you anyway. You can see his black curls that stop on his neck peppered with white hairs.
Perhaps if you could see his face you would know who it is, but his back is to you. Or at least it was until he suddenly spins around, causing your breath to catch, and causing your heart to jump when his dark eyes immediately find you as if he had been called.
There’s no mistaking it either. He’s found you hidden in between the trees and stands up straighter before he tilts his head, letting you see him clearly, not just a part of him, and right away, you put a name to his…face. You’ve made it your job to know all the great lords after all; he’s Lord Lyonel Baratheon. The Laughing Storm. Heir to Storm’s End.
You should be safe with him alone…
If he’s as good as they say he is…
“My Lord,” you greet with your nose pointed to the air, making sure not to show any fear or suspicion.
“Princess,” he surprises you by saying before the corner of his lips start to pull into an amused smile. “Are you alone?” He asks.
“No. My guards are near,” you remain guarded so as to not give anything away, but either way he glances around before he relaxes his arms and puts his hunting bow down.
“Forgive me for saying this, but you are a liar. Guards are easy to spot in their shiny armor. It’s why we don’t wear any whilst hunting. Besides, they would have already shown themselves the moment I walked out of hiding, but,” he scoffs and puts his arms out. “It seems it is just you and I here.”
You swallow thickly and never once falter. You keep your head up and your eyes fixated on him.
“And it is because we are alone that I will tell you that you have no need to fear me. I won’t harm you.”
“Forgive me for saying that, but I cannot take your word. I do not know you or your intentions. No matter how great a lord you are. My Lord.” You bow your head, making him chuckle before he takes a step closer to you. Just one.
“You’d be wise then, but I am true to my word. I will not harm you. If you wish to leave then do so. I won’t stop you but I will have to escort you. Even if you don’t see me. I don’t wish to be scorned by your father or your grandfather.”
“You’d be wise then.”
That earns another charming smile that makes your muscles relax before you put away your dagger and slowly walk out and join him in the middle of the woods, making his smile deepen and his dark eyes glimmer with that charming smile.
“May I ask how you were quick to recognize me, my Lord?”
His thick dark eyebrows pinch together, and wrinkles draw around his eyes as he squints before his face brightens with smugness. “Well, how could I ever forget you? The Beloved of the crown and the realm. And your eyes? They are remarkable. Truly one of a kind, like the rare and extraordinary glimmering amethyst crystals that people only wish to possess.”
You blink with surprise and can’t help the corner of your lips from twitching upwards.
“How were you so quick to recognize me?” He then redirects, making you shrug.
“I have made it my job to remember every great lord. Besides, I remember you from my wedding,” you point outand meet his gaze, noticing how deep they are. You get caught up in them quickly as if they were a raging storm and you were a sailor on raging waters.
“You outdrank my husband and every other drinking man that celebrated with us. Almost as if you had made it your job.”
“Or they were lesser men who cannot withstand a couple of drinks,” he retorts, making you giggle.
“I wouldn’t say you drank a couple of drinks. I’m sure you drank through almost half of the stock we had for the wedding. And well, all anyone could talk about was how incredibly impressed they were by your tolerance.”
“It seems you were to,” he remarks smugly, making your eyes flicker to the ground, and making a smile flicker on your features.
“Or did you make it your job to know?” He teases as he leans in close, drawing your eyes back to him and finally notice how handsome he is.
You never noticed that before. You were too smitten with Daeron to notice then, but now. Now that he’s standing before you, you note Lord Lyonel's strong jaw and his smooth tan skin. The pointed peppered beard he wears adds to his charm while also making him look rugged. And that is only more true with the gold dangling earring he wears on one ear.
It’s almost like he’s a legendary and handsome pirate come to life. Except he is more refined than a pirate. Wilder, and far more enchanting too.
Or is that just because of his eyes? They’re a lighter brown up close, but still harbor a storm that you’re not intimidated by. You should be. Anyone else would be, but you're anchored and easily enticed.
Which is…silly…you’re married…
But…ever so alone without Daeron and with him also being in another one of those states where he distances himself from you and is nothing but mean.
That’s all it is though, loneliness that has your heart swooning like a naive young girl swooning over knights from old stories.
“Well,” you respond with an innocent smile. “It was my wedding so how could I not notice?”
He hums and shakes his finger at you before he looks around as if in search of something. When he doesn’t find anything he faces you again with curiosity in his bright eyes. “What is it that you are doing out here? All alone.”
“Alone?” You query. “I was not alone at least not until you scared off who I was with.”
Lord Lyonel scoffs with amusement before he counters. “That was no friend. That was today’s game.”
“Was until you scared him off,” you make it clear, earning an amused look before he finds your book under your arm and probes further.
“If you were not hunting then what were you doing? Frolicking? Do you frolick princess?”
You giggle and shake your head before you show him what he was curious about. “I was out here drawing. You scared away my model.”
He hums before he points at the leatherbound book. “May I?” He asks and without asking for clarification you hum in agreement and pass him the book.
Lord Lyonel then, without invitation or a care in the world, surprises you by plopping himself on the ground to open the book, coming across a clear and precise drawing of a bright red dragonfly standing on a thin branch.
Under the drawing, it’s labeled with the type of dragonfly and notes you had jotted down.
The dragonfly doesn’t catch his interest though, so he continues to flip through the pages while you sit on your knees beside him, letting your dark purple gown spread over the ground.
“These are very good,” Lord Lyonel notes as he also sees drawings of Daeron, your brothers Valarr and Matarys, your father, your cousins, and anyone else you had drawn in the book he’s flipping through. There’s many more back in the Red Keep, filled with so many of the same and yet different things.
“You truly have a talent.”
“You don’t have to flatter me, my Lord. You may speak freely,” you remark as you watch him flip through all your drawings without ever thinking twice about them. He’s carefree without a doubt. Maybe it’s because you are who you are, because it’s simply his nature, or it’s felt like you’ve known each other far longer than just mere minutes. Whichever it is, you enjoy it and mirror him because he makes it easy to.
“No, no.” He shakes his head. “I am speaking truthfully. These are remarkable. I do notice that besides dragons there’s a lot of…critters…and creatures, and nature and whatnot.”
You giggle and lean closer to him to flip a page for him and show him one of your favorites you have only recently drawn.
“Well, what can I say? They are beautiful muses and those critters and creatures are far easier to draw than people. If you know how to move with them that is,” you muse happily as he’s speaking on your interest. “They are sensitive, but it all comes from here,” you hover your hand over his chest before you flip another page to show him a wide-eyed owl.
“And the fact that you may smell like Lilly’s of the Valley?” He notes as he keeps his eyes on your delighted face. “You’re masked well. Any hunter would wish to have their scent masked as naturally as yours.”
You glance at him with a bright smile before you reveal your secret. “It’s on purpose so they aren’t easily spooked. I don’t wish to smell like dirt just to be close to them, so I choose floral and other naturally sweet scents. It doesn’t always work, but it helps.”
You look back at your sketchbook and he does the same to turn a page and grin brightly right away at the drawing of a great stag.
“Ah-ha!” He exclaims. “I should be honored. A second stag in your book of beautiful paintings. Are you fond of them too?”
You meet his gaze and sit back before you look at him teasingly. “Honored, but my lord I’ve never drawn a laughing stag. That’s what you are, no?”
His face falls and your lips only tremble as you stifle your laugh and smile at him tauntingly.
After a moment of seriousness, he breaks. At first, his lips slowly curl into a smirk before he chuckles and returns to look through the book. “Nor should you ever draw a laughing stag. That would be a mad sight.”
“Oh, I agree.”
Lord Lyonel comes across the drawing you were just sketching and then flips over to an empty page and grins before he puts his hand out and points at your pencils. “Give me one here,” he beckons and with amusement and curiosity you hand him one and watch him shift away so he can face you and start drawing quickly and with a heavy hand that would most likely mark the other page as well, but alas, you don’t say anything. You just watch him and notice his eyes dart up to you once and twice before he focuses solely on what he’s doing to finish quickly.
Once he’s done he turns the book around and shows off a drawing of two…lumps with dark circles in them.
“Oh,” you frame the word as you bat your lashes and draw in a breath between your teeth as you purse your lips together.
“My Lord that,” you mutter and sigh. “Well.” You tilt your head to take a better look at the drawing. “I have to say it’s not that appropriate.”
“What?” He gasps and leans forward to hold the book beside your face. “They’re your eyes. Is it not obvious?”
You meet his gaze and then snort before you break into a laugh. “Oh my lord,” you say between laughs. “I thought it was, well it’s not important.” You giggle and take the book and the pencil. “Let me sketch something now.”
“Well, it won’t be fair will it? You have the talent.”
You flick your wrist and do as you said. You make a quick sketch before you turn it around to show him with a bright smile that comes easily. “Look,” you point out. “A laughing stag.”
Lord Lyonel grabs the book and brings it close to study it for a moment before he meets your gaze and says lightheartedly, “see, absolutely absurd.”
You giggle and turn the book back at you. “Well, it’s a good thing you’re the Laughing Storm then.” You flash him a smile before you turn the page back to your unfinished drawing.
In the silence, he watches you study and thinks about the strange yet amusing way you found each other before he falls back to thinking about the moment you just had. An easy moment that didn’t make you feel like strangers talking to each other.
It was easy to laugh with you, and perhaps the same could be said for anyone else. He’s not a serious and intimidating lord. He likes to have a good laugh. But maybe it was also because you share your father's charisma that made this moment flow so naturally. He doesn’t know truly, but he knows he wants more of this moment. More of you.
“I’ll be holding court later in my tent,” Lord Lyonel takes your attention. “Come. We will have some gay fun. Good food and strong drinks. I remember you also enjoyed a good festivity.”
You hold your book to your chest and lift a brow. “On one condition. You promise that there’ll be dancing.”
He gasps and touches his chest. “You wound me by thinking there won’t be any. It’s a fucking requirement.”
You smile at him and then offer him your response. “I will try to make it. My husband is not here so I do not know if I should wander in a campground at night all alone.”
He scoffs. “No one would dare harm you. No one with sense. Not unless they want to see the wrath of many a dragon,” he whispers with a soft intensity that makes a chill run down your spine before you smile at the ground for a moment before your eyes flicker back to him.
“I will try. Thank you, my Lord.”
Said man then gets up and offers you his hand. “Come on then, I will escort you out. I was serious about not wanting to be scorned.”
You keep your hands around your book and turn him down. More so demand him so he’ll listen. “I will remain here. You may go. I command it. I will leave shortly.”
“Command?” He asks with a faint smirk.
You nod and narrow your gaze to an intense look so he knows you mean what you say and you’re not to be questioned.
“Good day, My Lord,” you bid him sweetly before you bring your book down and continue to sketch your drawing.
“Princess.” He bows and having to listen to your command, he turns and walks away, but not without looking back and meeting your gaze as you look over at him too.
When your eyes lock you heart skips a beat and you end up quickly looking back at your drawing without making it a big deal. It’s only once you don’t hear him anymore that you look back at the now empty space where he had once stood and draw out a deep breath whilst you can’t help but smile giddily.
Which is truly a travesty. Maybe even more than your dad wanting you to be his heir because Lord Lyonel is twice your age. Maybe more? It doesn’t matter because he’s also married and you’re married too and…perhaps it would be better to think about what your dad has to offer you. Heir, and Queen one day if that’s what you want…
It’s…something almost unfathomable. You know your place after all. Many women from your family have been passed over in favor of their brothers and you have two, so it’s never something that you desired. It’s something you never even thought of and can’t stop thinking about ever since your father brought it up.
Your response should be easy; no, but he said he saw potential. Potential in you. Who would you be if you wasted it right before the very eyes that see it so clearly in you?
But how can you accept? It’s such a heavy burden. A burden no one should want. A burden that you don’t know if you want.
A major part of you doesn’t want to consider it anymore, and your father said that if your response was no, then it wouldn’t matter, but what if it is your calling?
How…does one even know if it is?
It’s all so taxing and you should throw that at your father because he’s the one who has your mind all jumbled up now.
Albeit he’d only say that it’s good that you’re having so much trouble thinking if it’s what you want, so it wouldn’t work in your favor if he doesn’t feel bad for causing you such stress.
Thus, you just let it all build up in your mind as you eventually leave your spot in the meadow and trudge back to the Keep before the sun goes down and sends your guards after you.
On your way back however, as you approach a nearby river that’s close to the keep, you hear the sound of horses nickering in the distance before you catch a long slippery snake painted black with white stripes slithering towards that noise.
As always, you don’t fear the innocent creature. There’s far more terrifying things out there than defenseless creatures, so you approach it with a fascinated smile and gently pick it up with the lightest touch.
“Come on you,” you muse as it slithers over your arm as it tries to investigate what had picked it up. “You’re going towards danger.”
The snake keeps investigating and tries to slither up your arm, but you keep it down in your hands and then raise it slightly, catching your reflection in its tiny black eyes as you note that with the way it’s painted, it’s non-venomous, so you take it with you towards the hedge that the horses stand behind.
“Queen, can you believe it?” You speak your thoughts out loud to the painted snake since there’s no one else with you and you haven’t told anyone else. “My father wants to make me Queen.”
The snake wraps itself around your wrist, making you grin at it with awe as you mindlessly pass the hedge and fail to see the giant man bathing in the river until he makes himself known by gasping loudly.
“Oh!”
Your eyes fly up, but when you see that the incredibly tall man is nude, you snap your eyes up to look at his face dripping with river water since well, there’s so much of him that you can avoid seeing his manhood by simply shifting your eyes higher up. Even though, you’re tempted to look back down and remark on how…well it wouldn’t be proper to remark on such a thing.
Instead, you shift your focus to how impressively giant he is. You’ve seen men as tall as him and some even taller than him, but even so, you can’t help but be surprised by the size of him. Moreover, his toned muscles add to his size.
However, the way he fumbles with his words makes him look less intimidating.
“Please forgive me, my…uh, my Lady, I did not know there would be people in these parts of the woods!”
The water splashes around his feet as he starts moving, so you quickly shake your head to assure him. “Do not trouble yourself…” you pause and peek around you, noticing nothing more than his roughspun clothes laid out to keep dry while he’s bathing. There’s no tent or more men either. Just him, three horses, a long sword, and an old wooden shield resting against a green tree, telling you that he’s probably nothing more than a hedge knight with big dreams at the tourney.
“…Ser. I was just passing by. Please stay where you are. I am leaving.”
“It does not matter. I am still very sorry!” He stammers and bows his head. “You have caught me indecent. I did not—”
“Stop,” you cut him off before he could keep rambling his apologies. “I am averting my eyes. You are a very,” you chuckle breathlessly. “Giant man, so trust that I did not see anything.”
It’s a lie. You caught a glimpse, but you won’t tell the big blushing man that.
“And I will continue down my path before I can. Be as you were, ser. Good day to you,” you wave him off and shift around to stride away.
Albeit before you can put the giant man and the river behind you, you turn to meet his ashamed face to add one more thing. “Oh, and I should tell you. Warn you I should say, there are snakes around here. I just saved one from being trampled by your horses,” you share and lift your hand to show off the snake wrapped around your wrist to the man with incredibly bright blue eyes.
“Oh? Okay. Thank you…” he trails off awkwardly and you meet his gaze again and offer him a sweet smile.
“I will see you around, Ser. Good day now. Enjoy your bath.”
You then finally stride away without adding anything else, leaving the man to his bath in the river and taking the docile snake with you until you reach the end of the woods where your guards are relieved to see that you haven’t been lost, saving them a search in the woods and an explanation to the King's heir.
——
*LATER*
After much back and forth and once the guards think you’re in bed and won’t notice you’re gone, you find yourself before the very lively tent of Lord Lyonel Baratheon.
The plan was to stay in the keep. It would save poor Lord Ashford a headache since he’s been tormenting himself over you ever since you arrived at Ashford with only a couple of guards and no husband, but after much consideration, you figured that what he doesn’t know won’t kill him now will it?
Thus, you walk into the loud tent and immediately get greeted by warm candlelight throughout the tent, the smell of sweat and ale, and the sight of a crowd of people swarming a dancer in the middle of the circle. Or at least you think that's what they're watching, there’s too many bodies blocking what’s going on, so you can’t be positive, but from the sound of clapping hands and shouting, Lord Lyonel was true to his word. There is dancing.
That’s why no one cares about you when you walk inside, but you prefer that way. The music would stop, all the shouting and excitement would stop, leaving the tent deafeningly quiet while all eyes fell on you.
And it’s not that you don’t like it. You’re a princess of the realm, you’ve been accustomed to being gawked at the moment you were conscious of all the stares. Right now though, all you want is to have fun. You want to be like one of them in a sense so having the fortune of not going noticed yet, you take a cup of ale and stick to the side, avoiding joining the big crowd just yet, and avoiding walking too close to the main table because you can see the great host there looking grand and spectacular.
Lord Lyonel is easy to spot after all since he's surrounded by his people and wearing an impressive antler helm he must have had made from a great stag.
Honestly, he looks like a painted portrait. The warm candlelight sitting around him only makes that more true and makes him that much more enticing. If you could, you would paint him as he is right now, but all you can do is memorize the tantalizing scene and watch him, noting that he looks quite bored sitting there so you wonder why he hasn't joined the fun just yet. Is he not drunk enough? Is he waiting for someone? Is the crowd not too aroused just yet?
You want to know but don’t want to take the steps to do so, so you watch and wonder.
You wonder what he’d say if he saw that you were here.
You wonder if you could make him laugh again. It was easy to do so before, but then again you were alone then, away from the prying eyes. You’re surrounded by people this time.
Either way, you also wonder if his touch is as warm as he looks. If his lips taste like the wine or ale he’s drinking and if they’re as soft as they look.
Does he smell like that musky earthy scent that clung to him before?
Does his heart race like yours as all you can do is be captivated by him?
Perhaps not…
No, not at all.
How stupid. Foolish.
You are married. He is. You are! And Daeron…told you to leave him alone the last time you spoke. He was mean…
But should you punish him too hard for the way he acted the last time you saw him considering you know that his dreams torment him because they’re never clear and such a burden?
Perhaps you were the mean one for leaving him behind and not trying harder to understand why he went into another drinking binge.
But…
But…
You groan and chug the rest of the ale to clear your mind from all your thoughts, and focus back on the fun when you get your cup refilled.
Nevertheless, as you turn back around to watch the crowd, you spot none other than the incredibly tall man from the river. Albeit he looks even more impressively giant now that you’re closer. Gods.
Now that he’s here nevertheless, you can’t just go on and not address what happened. He looked like he was being tortured. Poor creature.
“Ser!” You call out loudly so you can be heard over the music and clamoring as you approach him, catching his attention right away and making him grow stiff.
“My Lady,” he greets you as he covers his mouth to swallow his food. “Apologies.”
You shake your head to reassure him and then get right to the matter. “I’m glad I found you. I just wanted to apologize for earlier. I really did not mean to intrude.”
“Oh!” He exclaims without seeming to notice that his voice carries louder than he expected. “Well…I am actually also sorry.”
You giggle and he blinks with surprise as if he’s surprised that he was able to get that reaction from you.
It’s truly endearing.
“Well, then let’s just forget about the entire matter or else we’ll spend the entire night just apologizing to each other,” you offer and he immediately looks relieved to hear that.
“Yes! Good.” He nods and seems to finally meet your gaze because he looks taken back by you as he holds your gaze.
However, besides dropping his jaw, he doesn’t react any other way. It's almost as if he doesn’t recognize you which is quite fascinating since you’re renowned for the deep and rare color of your eyes just like Valarr is renowned for his single strand of silver hair and mismatched eyes like your father. Yet, this man doesn’t realize. He doesn’t sputter or grow even taller and stiffer. He doesn’t bow, avoid his eyes, or grow perfectly cordial either. He remains awkward and it’s just another endearing thing about him.
“What's your name, Ser?”
“It’s, uh, Dunk—Ser Dunk.”
As he says his name you finally catch the attention of the great man sitting nonchalantly at his table and watch surprise pass through him before he seems to grow more alive; his eyes brighten and the corner of his lips tug upward faintly as he sits up slowly.
You pass him a warm smile before you look back at the man you’re talking to for a second before you’re looking at the floor and smiling giddily at the thought of Lord Lyonel and his reaction.
When the moment passes you drift all your focus back to the man you’re talking to and immediately remark on him. “You’re a green boy indeed. Is Dunk short for Duncan?”
He swallows thickly and nods. “Yes, it is.”
“Great, I like that. Ser Duncan, it’s a pleasure meeting you.”
“Likewise…” he trails off and silently asks for your name, so all you give him is your first name. You almost spill out your title but you hold back on it because it’s quite amusing that he doesn’t recognize you.
“Enjoying the festivity, Ser?” You probe as you turn to watch the crowd and drink a sip of your ale.
“Well, I am enjoying the food and drinks more,” he admits, making you smile before you question his comment.
“Is this not to your liking?”
“Well,” he says as he shrugs. “It’s not that. I just don’t know anyone.”
“And you don’t need to,” you assure him as you glance at him, catching Lord Lyonel’s distant glance and holding it for a second before you look away.
“Just have some fun. You probably won’t see these people tomorrow either way. This is what tourneys are for. Fun.”
“Well that’s certainly a part of it,” Ser Duncan says.
“Will I be seeing you participating in any of the games, Ser?” You inquire. “Perhaps I could cheer for you.”
Ser Duncan glances at you with some surprise before he responds. “Uh, well that’s what I am trying to work on. I need a Lord or a knight to vouch for me. I’ve been trying to talk to Lord Dondarrion, but I haven’t been able to meet with him.”
Lord Dondarrion. Pft.
“Well, if you stick around you will probably run into him here. If not he will probably be drinking with another great lord.”
“I’ve been told he wakes up late,” he shares. “So perhaps I will have luck here.”
You scoff. “Well, good luck to you, Ser. I mean it.”
“Thank you.”
He has no idea how much he’ll need it. Bless his heart.
Regardless you watch the clamoring crowd for a second before you slowly steal a glance at Lord Lyonel. This time he’s not looking over at you, so you let your eyes linger on the side of his face as he sits there nonchalantly.
It’s so perfectly carved. His jaw is perfectly defined and his nose is straight and perfect.
“Pardon, my Lady,” Ser Duncan steals your attention. “I am being summoned.”
You follow his gaze to the main table and huff softly before you take a drink of your ale and watch him go from the corner of your eye.
When he’s halfway there and you’ve finished your drink, you put the cup down and glance at the table again, noticing Lord Lyonel’s gaze and making sure to keep it on you as you slowly walk past bodies of people before you lose yourself in the crowd.
You’re almost tempted to weave through the crowd of people to make it to the other side and be in direct sight of the great lord, but you notice that Ser Duncan is with him so you don’t bother. Instead, you finally match the high energy of the festivity.
Your once-empty cup is filled with ale some man was carrying in a flagon, and a permanent smile decorates your features. With one hand occupied with your cup of ale however, you can’t clap along, but you do cheer and exclaim excitedly for the various dancers that dance in the middle of the circle or on the table.
It’s easy then to forget whose tent you’re in. It’s easy to forget that you are meant to be an example for the realm. You are meant to uphold yourself a certain way especially if you do want to be your father's heir, but how great is it to have fun without having to hold those expectations and without caring what people think? Is it so bad to be drunk off the ecstasy that fills the tent like everyone else? Just for tonight.
Daeron is not here in need of being taken care of after he’s had too much to drink. There’s no limitations to how much you should have. No judgmental eyes. It’s just you, them, and…him.
“I was promised a dance.” You hear his smooth voice by you unexpectedly.
“No.” You chuckle. “I said I would come as long as you assured me that there would be dancing,” you remind him, making him scoff.
“Same thing! Dance with me!” He cries excitedly before he spins around swiftly and climbs on the table beside him. “Dance with me,” he says again and crouches to offer you his hand. “How can you say you had fun if you don’t dance?”
“By being a part of the crowd.”
He flicks his wrist and blows out a huff of air. “Pft! Boring. Are you boring?” He asks cockily, making you pout as you look at him in annoyance before you take his hand to let him swiftly pull you on top of the table.
Once you’re standing on top he takes your hands in the attempts to lead you, but you pull your hands away to lift up the skirt of your gown and follow the beat of the music that’s playing by showing off a couple steps of a jig dance you learned a while ago, making the once preoccupied crowd turn their focus on you while Lord Lyonel swipes his tongue over his teeth before he shows off a couple steps of his own.
You beam at him before you follow by showing off a couple more quick steps that make him let out a booming laugh. The rest of the crowd claps and hollers before they continue doing their own thing, letting Lord Lyonel then take your hand, and making you take his other one before you cross them over the other and start spinning around with grins on your faces and deep hearty laughs escaping past your lips.
Nothing matters then. You’re too high off the ecstasy, starting to get tipsy with the drinks you quickly swallow down, and drunk off him; how carefree he is. How incredibly fun he is, and how beautifully dazzling he is.
There does come a point in the night where you do grow concerned because Lord Lyonel comes face to face with Ser Duncan and seems to be challenging him or getting him to dance. You don’t know, but you watch him suddenly step on Ser Duncan and wait.
When Ser Duncan doesn’t react the way he wants he throws his foot again and again, but Ser Duncan is quicker time and time again. After they go about the floor, Ser Duncan finally seems to gain courage and throws his foot forward, managing to step on Lord Lyonel.
Yet as the tent erupts in cheer, you bring your cup to your lips and meet Ser Duncan’s wide-eyed and panicked face as Lord Lyonel bends over with pain.
You have no words of comfort because you don’t know how it will turn out, but then as Lord Lyonel faces the big knight, the big knight offers instant relief as he begins laughing before he pushes Lord Lyonel back as he starts to laugh too.
After, with much higher spirits, Ser Duncan and Lord Lyonel start to dance around each other. They spin. Lord Lyonel throws his arms out like a bird throwing out its wings as he spins around, and you continue dancing, with him, with Ser Duncan on occasion, and others who would pull you to dance.
Your heart is just close to bursting for the rest of the night. You can’t remember when was the last time you had fun like the fun you were having in that tent. You don’t remember when was the last time someone ever paid you so much attention or made you feel so many burning and thrilling sensations, but it is addicting. You want more of it. You want so much more, but you know your limits as well, so after a while, when Lord Lyonel is off getting more to drink you sneak off into the night, but don’t walk back to the keep.
You take a seat under a tree in the shadows and try to cool down. You need to keep him off your mind. You need to leave the perimeters of the tent grounds and no longer think of him or the way he makes you feel, so you take time to take deep breaths and let the brisk night air embrace you so your body can cool down.
It’s hard to do though. Five deep breaths turn to twenty and the cold air doesn’t do shit.
If only Daeron had been here. You wouldn’t have come out. You would have stayed in your chambers while he was probably out, or you would have been with him watching over him and making sure he doesn’t end up in some ditch, but he’s not with you. You were left to your own devices and you can’t breathe because you can’t stop thinking about the dazzling man that Lord Lyonel is.
“Lord Manfred Dondarrion.”
You raise your head at the sound of that name and see Ser Duncan talking to Lord Manfred on the pathway.
“I wish to speak with you about Ser Arlan of Pennytree. He served your Lord Father to hunt the Vulture King in the Red Mountains.”
That’s rather to the point, but Lord Manfred is paying attention even with two…brothel workers clinging to him.
“I was only a boy, but—”
Paying no mind to the fact that Ser Duncan is speaking, that tall brunette woman clinging to Lord Manfred cuts him off. “I thought you said you were a Dornishman.”
Lord Manfred doesn’t respond, he just goes in to kiss her while the shorter woman with red hair interjects. “No, he said he’s hung like a Dornishman.”
“No, I said I’ve hung Dornishman,” Lord Manfred finally interjects before he kisses the redhead too.
“Perhaps we would speak on the morn,” Ser Duncan tries to offer a solution so he can escape the awkward encounter.
“I know your penny knight not,” Lord Manfred disappoints the tall hedge knight. “Nor you, brother. Be gone.”
Well, you didn’t expect this to go any other way.
“But Ser Arlan took a wound in your father's service,” Ser Duncan steps up to argue after Lord Manfred turned away. “How could you have forgotten him?”
Lord Manfred turns to counter. “My lord father took 800 swords into those mountains. We’ve forgotten men who reaped much more than a wound.”
“Please, Ser, I will not be allowed to challenge unless a knight or a lord will vouch for me.”
“And what is that to me?” Lord Manfred quips and walks away with his whores, leaving Ser Duncan to his lonesome in the night with a solemn look on his face that gives you pity.
There’s only a few men who would beg for help as he did just now. Their ego and pride get in the way, or they find other ways to enter the lists, but he asked for help and every word sounded desperate and sincere.
Thus, you get up from your seat under the tree and make sure Lord Manfred is not in earshot to walk out of the shadows and address Ser Duncan as he’s walking away. “You would have better luck dying your hair red.”
The tall knight stops in his tracks and turns around with a confused, “what?” leaving his lips.
You clasp your hands behind your back and lean your head forward to share something you’ve heard about the stuck-up Lord, whom you’re actually related to because of your mother. “He has a fetish you see? He tends to fancy women with red hair like his. So you would have better luck dying your hair red.”
“I,” he pauses and shakes his head. “I cannot do that.”
You smile with amusement. “Good. That’s very good Ser.”
You stand up straight and study him. Yes, you can’t know much about a person by simply studying them, but you can know that it looks like he doesn’t have a lot by his rough-spun clothes and his thin, smelly, and torn cloak. You can tell he’s quite shy by the way he keeps averting his eyes and by the way a blush paints his cheeks. And maybe it was the way he was acting in the tent, but you can also tell he’s sweet through his bright blue eyes.
You just hope you’re not wrong about him.
“I’ll talk to my father for you,” you offer him some consolation, making Ser Duncan’s gaze snap to you before he starts sputtering as he questions you.
“What?”
You giggle. “I will talk to my father in the morrow so do not get discouraged and leave. Alright, Ser?”
Ser Duncan doesn’t look like he’s processed what you told him, but he still queries. “Why? I mean I am grateful, but you do not know me. You do not owe me anything.”
“No, that is true, but from what I’ve seen you appear to be a good man. It’s rare to meet good and honorable men. We need good and honorable men to be knights of the realm. Men like you.”
Besides, if you help him, maybe he’ll be eternally loyal to you.
“My Lady—”
“Princess!” You hear a booming slurring voice, making you peer back to see Lord Lyonel crossing the bridge. “There you are. I have been searching for you.”
You start to smile before you hear Ser Duncan gasp. “Princess?”
You look back at him and he’s already going down on his knee.
“I am such a brute! My deepest apologies, your grace. I did not know!”
“Did not know?” Lord Lyonel remarks as he reaches your side. “It’s quite obvious is it not? I mean her eyes are…one of a kind.”
You scoff before you address the tall knight. “Rise, Ser. There’s no need for that. It was I who was deceitful about my identity when I realized you did not recognize me.”
Ser Duncan hesitates, but he then slowly stands on his feet and towers over you and Lord Lyonel.
“I will talk to my father on the morrow. He should be arriving in the morning. If the gods are good. If you wish to ask the other lords for their favor you may do so just in case something goes awry. But I will speak to my father,” you assure him, making him bow his head.
“I do not know how to thank you, Princess. Truly.”
“With words. I ask for nothing more,” you offer him some relief since he was already looking troubled over the matter.
“Thank you!”
You offer him a sweet smile and bow your head lightly. “Goodnight, my good Ser.”
“Come then I’ll escort you back to the keep,” Lord Lyonel then chimes in before he starts leading the way, making Ser Duncan bid you a goodnight.
“Goodnight Princess. Thank you once again.”
You offer him a soft hum before you catch up with Lord Lyonel and accept his offer to escort you back to the keep. Even though not long ago you were struggling to get him out of your mind.
“Are you sure you do not need an escort to your tent?” You tease, making Lord Lyonel look at you with an offended look.
“Why would you ever say that?”
You giggle. “Because you are quite drunk,” you point out the obvious.
“Me?” He points at his chest. “Well, you would be right. I am quite drunk, but it is nothing. I can walk you to the keep just fine.”
You hum and nod slowly as you watch him and notice that he can’t even walk in a straight line. Which is hilarious considering what he just spat out.
“I met a pirate once,” you say abruptly and stifle your mischievous smile. “A very nice pirate who taught me this trick to know how drunk you are. Do you want to do it?”
He scoffs. “Of course.”
You both stop in your tracks and he brushes his hair back with his fingers before he claps and clears his throat. “All right, I’m ready.”
You stifle your laugh and step back. “The trick is to spread your arms out,” you tell him. “And lift one foot off the ground and press it on the side of your knee so you can balance on one foot. If you don’t wobble it means you're sober—or sober enough anyway.”
“Okay, okay, I can do this,” he says breathlessly before he dramatically throws his arms out and then looks down at his feet, making his black and white peppered hair fall over his face before, without hesitation or question, he starts to raise one foot, making you cover your mouth with your hand to hide your mischievous smile.
Although if he were looking at your eyes he would be able to notice that you’re up to no good. He doesn’t though. He throws his head back and looks ahead to concentrate as he slowly drags his foot up to the side of his knee.
Nevertheless, when it comes to balancing he fails right away. He’s too drunk, so he loses balance and falls forward, making you throw your hands out to try and catch him.
Albeit, he catches himself quickly by managing to steady himself on your shoulders and in turn making you hold onto his shoulders as well.
“I lied,” you whisper as you stay connected.
Lord Lyonel slowly raises his head and when his light brown eyes meet yours, you feel his breath unfurl over your lips.
“I made it up,” you admit with a mischievous smirk tugging on your lips while Lord Lyonel just holds your gaze with disbelief before he starts to chuckle without moving away. His face hovers over yours as his chuckle grows deeper and as you start to laugh along with him.
You should be the one moving away if he doesn’t, but you can’t move. His breath smells like sweet wine and it keeps you reeled in.
“You mischievous trickster!” He exclaims.
You finally push him away and defend yourself. “There was a pirate! He had a ruby brooch holding up his golden cape that he said was woven with real gold.” You chuckle. “His thinning hair was gold and his long beard was gold too. I asked him if he ever sank his boat because he carries his weight in gold.”
“That’s so stupid,” Lord Lyonel chuckles and you nod.
“I know, but he was foolish too for thinking we believed him.” You laugh as you continue walking. “He said that the next time he saw me he’d gift me a golden dragon egg he found on the shores of Old Valyria. He died not so long after he left. It’s said that he was robbed for his gold. Turned out it was all fake though.”
“What a foolish man.”
“Aye, but he was loads of fun.” You do give the old dead pirate that. “Have you ever drunk with a pirate?”
“Many and they are loads of fun, but unfortunately I meet far more dangerous ones so I have to kill them. It seems that all the fun ones are at King’s Landing though.”
You hum. “You will have to return to the capital. I know the taverns they frequent,” you share smugly as you fiddle with your fingers.
“Oh? Is that so? The Beloved Princess?”
You shrug. “I often go to the taverns with my husband. Not to worry though, he doesn’t tend to hold on for long.”
“I remember. Which is a shame, he’s good fun.”
“When he wants to be,” you mutter before silence accompanies you for a while, but it’s anything but deafening. It’s a loud silence as you keep stealing glances at one another. There’s nothing specific you focus on in either glance. You just glance at each other as if you’re drawn to do so.
There comes a time when you steal a glance at him and feel a heat unfurl over your cheeks immediately, so you look ahead. And it’s while you’re looking ahead that Lord Lyonel steals a glance at you. You notice so you have to bite your lip to keep from smiling whilst you keep looking ahead as you also note that you’re getting close to the keep.
“The night is not yet over. Have you noted that?” He asks and even though you notice the implication to prolong this walk. You don’t take him up on his offer.
“I have, but it is for me. I have much to do on the morrow. My day is quite full.”
He hums.
“Not that it means I do not somehow find my escape in between. I have much to tolerate so I will need it,” you reveal softly and steal a glance at him.
“Hm.” He simply hums with a smirk and you respond the same way.
You soon then reach the keep and before you can disappear inside, you stop and face him with a grateful smile. “Thank you, my Lord. I am sorry I can not escort you to your tent,” you tease.
“That would defeat the purpose of me escorting you here would it not?”
You respond with a shrug. “I am not opposed to the back and forth.”
He chuckles softly before he takes your hand from your side. “I will not keep you. As fun and unexpected as you are,” he says with a charming smile before he brings his lips to your knuckles. “Goodnight, Beloved Princess.”
He presses a light kiss on your knuckles, but it does not matter how fleeting it is. Your body still lights up in a burning fire at the feeling of his wet and warm lips on your flesh, and your heart still skips a beat as he holds your attentive gaze for that short moment before he leaves you gasping for air under the starry night.
A/N- WOW thank you everyone for the love on the first chapter! I hope you continue following this story it’s only going to get better and continue going when the season is over!
Warning- Spoilers, swearing, yearning!! Aerion, Eye color is described as amethyst (that’s all though!) Age gap with Lyonel, suggestive sexual intention.
Pairing- Daeron Targaryen x Targaryen!Fem-reader, Lyonel Baratheon x Targaryen!Fem-reader
Episode- 1x02
(Let me know if you want to be tagged)
————
It's still there, haunting you.
No matter how much you tossed and turned. No matter how many windows let in the brisk night air, no matter how much you tried wiping away the feeling and the memory, the back of your hand still remembers the feeling of his warm and soft lips.
Just as his laugh still rings in your ears. Fainter than before, but it’s still there, haunting you.
His light eyes still pull you in even if they’re a painted picture in your memory. And his charming voice causes ripples of chills to spread through your flesh even if it sounds faintly in your mind.
Daeron needs to come to snuff out the fire. That’s the only way you’ll have relief even if you are still quite cross at him and the thought of him makes you wish he’d stay away longer, but you can’t be left on your own a moment longer. Not while Lord Lyonel is haunting you.
“Princess,” your handmaiden pulls you from your thoughts. “Your father is here.”
You had prolonged going down to meet him the moment you were told they were near by pretending to be indecisive about what to wear. Even if you had already planned out what to wear before you came to Ashford. Now, he and the rest of the party will see an empty spot in the courtyard where you’re supposed to be to greet them along with the rest of House Ashford, but he’ll have to forgive you, you just don’t want to be reprimanded for leaving Daeron and Aegon behind.
Not at this instant.
“Yes. I am aware,” you tell your handmaiden. “I’ll have to greet him wherever Lord Ashford has taken him and my uncle. Am I done?”
Your handmaiden stands behind you and looks at the mirror over your shoulder. “Yes, you look beautiful, Your Grace.”
You smile at her and then spin around to stride out of the room and head downstairs to the courtyard. Unfortunately, you’re unlucky and don't catch your father or uncle. Truly terrible.
However, you do manage to catch your obnoxious cousin Aerion pretending to be charming with other young lords. He’s far from charming though. He’s abhorrent and vain. The sight of him sours your mood so you don’t walk over there even if your sweet brother Valarr is also with him.
You’ll greet him later. As of now, you slink back inside and search the busy corridor for someone who will know where they’ve taken your father.
Yet before you can find someone, you’re immediately delighted to see Ser Roland Crakehall, one of the seven Kingsguard, and he’s delighted to see you. “My Princess,” he bows.
“My good Ser,” you greet in return.
“Well, you truly are a sight for sore eyes. I almost ran off to go search for you,” he immediately manages to charm you, making you smile wider.
“For your sake or my father's?” You query as you clasp your hands behind you.
“My own,” he shoots back quickly as he places a hand on the pommel of his sword. “The realm would surely fall into darkness without you,” he says in a soft voice.
You giggle and find it the perfect spot to stop teasing one another. “Ser, do you know where they’ve taken my father? I missed him.”
He scoffs. “I am aware and I am sure you did,” he chuckles because he knows you well. “Lord Ashford has taken him and Prince Maekar upstairs. To Lord Ashford’s hall.”
You curtsy and offer him one last smile to pass him your gratitude before you let a house guard take you to Lord Ashford’s hall.
On your way there nevertheless, just as you're rounding the hall, you run into Lady Gwin Ashford, the young lady the tourney is in honor of for her 13th name day.
“Princess.” She greets you and curtsies gracefully, making you offer her a graceful greeting in return.
“My Lady, I’ll see you later.”
The young lady blushes and giddily nods before you continue down your path.
Soon thereafter, hiding behind a wall by Lord Ashford’s hall you find none other than Ser Duncan, eavesdropping on the conversation that is being had inside. That’s why it seems like he doesn’t hear you as you round the corridor.
“Ser,” you whisper in hopes of not alarming him, but he nonetheless jumps back and gasps when he sees you.
“Princess,” he says in a hushed voice so as not to alert the others.
“Whatever are you doing?” You ask with some sense of amusement at finding such a big man trying to hide.
“I was just,” he pauses and bows. “I was here to speak with the prince.” He points his thumb at the room. “I was outside when they got here and I found my way here.”
You blink in disbelief before you scoff softly. “Well, it seems you’ve saved me a trip, but you have earned me an awkward conversation.”
“I did not mean to. I just had no luck with the other lords,” he explains himself without holding your gaze for too long. “I was impatient. I apologize.” He bows his head again and you can’t help but smile.
“It’s quite all right, Ser—”
“You.” Your uncle's voice cuts you off while also surprising Ser Duncan. “Who are you? What do you mean by spying on us? Show yourself.”
“Oh.” You smirk. “It seems we have been discovered. Come along then,” you wave him over as you pass by him and waltz in the hall, making your father's cautious eyes ease while your uncle, Lord Ashford, and the master of the games all look at the towering man slowly walking in behind you.
“It’s only I, and a friend,” you announce and curtsy gracefully. “Good morning, my Lords, father, uncle.”
Your father stands up straighter and offers you a welcoming smile. “Daughter. It seems I missed you in the courtyard.”
“I ran late,” you lie, which he knows. He knows you're avoiding hearing the questions he and your uncle have for you as to why you turned up at Ashford without the rest of your small party, but you’ve been spared for now thanks to Ser Duncan.
“I apologize, but I am here now,” you offer him sweetly and walk up to him to give him a light kiss on the cheek before you curtsy at your uncle and offer Lord Ashford a sweet smile.
“With another stray?” Your uncle asks as he plops himself in his chair.
“Not really,” you finally explain yourself and the giant man that you came with. “I gave him my word that I would help him and I mean to see it through. Only I cannot exactly give him what he wants. I can only grant him an audience with you, Father. I meant to talk to you first, but it seems he got ahead of me.” You smile at Ser Duncan who looks embarrassed in return.
“Very well,” your father grants you the kindness of giving you what you ask of him out of curiosity and because you are right, Ser Duncan is already here.
“The floor is yours Ser,” you encourage Ser Duncan who still stands by the entrance of the hall.
“My Lords, I do apologize for the interruption,” Ser Duncan speaks nervously. “I uhm,” he pauses and looks at the far end of the room before his eyes find you, making you offer him an encouraging smile before you fall at the right side of the center chair and deny a drink from a servant who offers you a cup of wine.
“I have asked Ser Manfred Dondarrion to vouch for me so that I might enter the lists,” Ser Duncan continues to say as he gains a little more courage and takes a step forward. “But he refused to do so.”
“Who?” Your uncle spats before his head whirls around and his pointed eyes fall on you. “What the fuck is going on?”
“The princess has vouched for her guest, brother. We’ll do her the kindness of listening,” your dad comes in your defense and out of his own curiosity. “Come closer, ser,” your dad gives Ser Duncan the last invitation he needs to walk into the room and continue explaining himself.
“And others, too. You see, they say they know not Ser Arlan or Pennytree. But he served them. I swear it. I have his sword and shield,” he says as he touches each object.
“Tsk,” Lord Ashford scoffs. “Sword and shield do not make a knight. Mm?” He chuckles lightly and seeks the approval of your uncle who sits unlike a prince should as he starts snacking on nuts and pays the lord no mind. No one in fact laughs with the lord, so the room falls quiet and awkward until he continues.
“Unless you have better proof to support what you say. Some writing or—”
“Do you remember him, Your Grace?” Ser Duncan cuts Lord Ashford off and addresses your father, causing him to turn his head to look at the bold knight as he also snacks on some nuts—“It was many years ago. You may have forgotten.”
Your dad raises his head, pointing his nose at the ceiling, and then responds to the knight. “Ser Arlan of Pennytree,” he echoes the name and stays quiet for a few seconds, making Lord Duncan visibly nervous before your father offers him great pleasure.
“He never won a tourney that I know. But he never shamed himself, either.”
“Yes, Ser,” Ser Duncan says with relief and takes another step inside. “I mean, no. No, he didn’t.”
“He overthrew Lord Stokeworth in the melee at King’s Landing,” your father continues as he takes a couple of steps toward the giant hedge knight. “And years before, he unhorsed the Grey Lion himself.”
“He-he told me that many a time.”
“Then, you will recall the Grey Lion’s true name. I have no doubt,” your father questions the man to know if what he’s saying is in fact true and not a lie.
You don’t believe he’s lying. He doesn’t seem like the man to lie, but he still thinks for a moment and that makes you uneasy because you don’t want to be made the fool.
However, after a couple of quiet minutes, Ser Duncan proves that he is who he says he is. “Ser Damon Lannister. The Grey Lion, he’s Lord of Casterly Rock now.”
You smile at the table in relief.
“So he is,” your father agrees. “And enters the lists upon the morrow,” he says as he moves away from the middle of the room and starts walking around the wooden table.
“How can you possibly remember some fucking hedge knight who chanced to unhorse Damon Lannister 16 years ago?” Your uncle questions your father.
“I make it practice to learn all I can of my foes,” your father says as he takes his seat.
“And why would you deign to joust with a hedge knight?”
“It was many years past, at Storm’s End,” your father shares as he summons the master of games to give him the papers he needs to overlook whilst he also reaches for more nuts. “Lord Baratheon held a hastilude to celebrate the birth of a grandson. The lots made Ser Arlan my opponent in the first tilt.”
You did not know that and that’s because you never asked and it was never a big event for him to care to share it. It’s nice to know that your father has that connection Ser Duncan was in search of though.
“We broke four lances before I finally unhorsed him.”
“It was seven,” Ser Duncan interjects, making your uncle laugh at him, and making you smile in amusement because you know your father wouldn’t lie about such events.
“I believe,” Ser Duncan mutters as he realizes his bold interjection.
“Tales grow in the telling, I know. Do not think ill of your old master, but it was four lances only, I fear,” your father corrects him without any hostility. He’s more amused than surprised or upset, but either way, Ser Duncan immediately goes down on one knee and rambles through his apology.
“As you say, Your Grace. It was four. I do apologize. The old man, Ser Arlan, he used to say that I was thick as a castle wall and slow as an aurochs.”
You smile in amusement while your father reassures him.
“No harm was done, ser. Rise.”
Ser Duncan does as he’s told but keeps his head down as he continues to speak. “You gave him back his horse and armor and took no ransom. Ser Arlan often told me that you were the soul of chivalry and that one day the Seven Kingdoms would be safe in your hands.”
“Not for many years yet, I pray,” your father says as he passes a glance at his brother.
“No I did not mean that the King should—”
“You wish to enter the lists. Is that it?” Your father cuts him off.
“Yes.”
“The decision rests with the master of the games, but I see no reason to deny you,” your father tells Ser Duncan and the master of the games, granting Ser Duncan what he so desperately wants.
“As you say, My Lord.” The master of the games doesn’t argue.
“Your Grace—”
“Very well, ser, you are grateful,” your uncle doesn’t let the giant man finish. “Now, fuck off!”
You swallow thickly at his rudeness, but don’t utter a word against it. Your father does instead.
“You must forgive my brother, ser. His sons went astray on the way here, and he fears for them.”
“Of course.” Ser Duncan says with comprehension as he turns to look at him. “I trust they will not be found dead.”
You duck your head and cover your mouth with the back of your hand to hide your amused smile at Ser Duncan’s rather amusing and endearing comment.
When you look back up it's only because your father calls out to him as he’s on his way out of the hall. “Ser. You are not of Ser Arlan’s blood?” He asks, making the man shake his head before he responds.
“No, I am not.”
“By law, only a trueborn son is entitled to inherit a knight’s arms. You must needs find a new device, ser,” your father lets him know. “A sigil of your own.”
“I will.” The giant man nods. “Thank you again, your Grace. And to you, Princess. I will fight bravely. You’ll see,” he says with a sense of determination and courage before he bows and continues on his way out. Only he mistakenly walks one way, but then turns to go the other way, making you giggle breathlessly before you try to avoid a certain conversation and try to head out yourself, but your father is quick to interrogate you.
“Before you leave. May you answer where your husband and Aegon are? I was surprised to hear that you arrived in Ashford alone.”
You now stand in the middle of the room with everyone’s eyes on you. Only you’re not nervous or prone to ramble because of it. You stand up straight and look at your father and uncle without remorse or feeling small.
“My husband demanded I leave him behind. He did not wish to continue you see, so I did what my lord husband asked of me,” you try to say in the least bitter way possible, but still your voice betrays you and both your uncle and your father know the truth of it.
“And I tried to bring Aegon, but he wanted to stay behind in hopes of changing Daeron’s mind. I would have waited, but I couldn’t stay a day longer,” you continue. “I have much to do while I’m here. Today, just in a moment I will have tea with Lady Ashford and the rest of the ladies who have come along. Afterwards, I am to accompany Lady Gwin on a walk around the gardens. I will then make certain everything is going well for court later. And I plan to show my support by strolling around the market and watching the other games that they’ll be holding before the jousting begins tonight.”
Your dad hums as he passes you a pointed look to let you know that he’s aware of the petty game you’re playing with your husband. Something he can’t really reprimand because you are here doing your duty whereas Daeron is not. You showed up just as he would have despite your difficulties.
You could have just tried harder to bring Daeron and Aegon along though.
“They’re a day's ride from here,” you let your uncle know. “In a small inn. I left guards with them.”
You would have said that’s where Daeron chose to hide and that he more so yelled at you to leave him, but there’s other listening in so you hold your tongue. He should know how his son is though so there’s no real need to say it out loud.
“Tell me where exactly later,” your uncle says with annoyance towards his son. “I’ll go after them in the morrow.”
You nod and then look back at your father. “Is there anything else you need, Your Grace?”
He shakes his head. “No. Just please when you travel out of the keep take a guard with you. We’ve lost enough of you already.”
You smile in amusement before you nod in agreement and then, curtsy before you walk out to start your list of things to do today in hopes you’ll finish quickly so you can…find your escape...
——
*LATER*
“That was truly marvelous!” You praise the already tall woman on stilts as you hand her a gold dragon. “I will return tomorrow for Ser Serwyn and the Mirror Shield, but you should consider traveling to King’s Landing and perform for me and my ladies one day. We’d be truly honored!” You gush and give her another gold dragon.
“Oh.” The tall woman gasps with shock at the amount of coin you’re giving her. “This…thank you, Your Grace.”
You lean towards her. “Two for you and the rest for the production to share.”
The tall woman bows her head so as not to fall forward or backwards. “I am truly grateful just as the rest of my companions are for your generosity.”
“It’s well deserved for such dedication to your craft, and such talent.” You smile sweetly at her. “Please consider going to Kings Landing, and if you do, go to the Red Keep and tell them that I asked for you personally.”
The tall woman nods with a bright and grateful smile.
“What is your name?” You ask, making her bow her head before she reveals it.
“Tanselle, your Grace.”
“Well, it’s very nice to meet you. I’ll remember for when you go.” You grin at her one last time before you turn away with your cape turning ever so elegantly with you as you leave the tent. When you're outside, people curtsy and bow as you pass them by. You also notice them enlighten at the feeling of being seen when you offer them kind smiles in return.
No one gets near though, because of your guard trailing behind you like a silent shadow, and because there’s nothing more intimidating than a princess. People often hear of your generosity, but seeing you in person and hearing about it is not the same, so they just wait for you to initiate conversation.
Albeit kind smiles are all you offer them, you have much to buy at the markets, stuff for yourself and stuff for your ladies in waiting who much to your disappointment were told to stay behind because of how small the keep is and how small the event is.
If they were here, you would have all gone to Lord Baratheon’s tent togetherand perhaps been much easier to spot, but you would have all had fun and ended the night talking of Lord Lyonel or any cute lord or knight they happened to set their eyes on.
Today you probably would have watched Valarr train in the yards and then gone on horseback and explored much more of Ashford meadow, but alas, you can only think of them and the things they asked for.
For Melia Stark, the fourth daughter of Lord Stark, a pair of shoes crafted by one of the vendors because she says they’ll be unique since they’re not from Kings Landing. For Cersei Manwoody, the only lady amongst many brothers, a pretty fabric to use for her blanket she’s knitting with various different fabrics. For Vyrielle Velaryon, the daughter of Lord Velaryon’s third brother, a nice set of crafted jewelry. And for sweet Elyra Blackmont, the youngest of the bunch, an odd rock because she likes collecting them. Aegon helped you pick one out when you were in the inn, it’s a pretty black shiny rock shaped like a sloppy four-pointed star you found in a riverbed.
You’ve only been able to get two of the four stuff so far and you don’t want to leave without getting everything they asked for, so you plan to get it all now that you’re out.
Nevertheless, amongst the search for your ladies’ items, someone you can’t keep out of your mind finds you. “Princess, what a surprise running into you.”
You swallow thickly and then turn around trying your best not to smile, but as you find his gaze you notice how heavily trained they are on you and you can’t help but smile bashfully.
“Surprise? I mentioned I would find my escape. Here I am, and here you are…empty-handed and in your…” you trail off and look him up and down. You were so enveloped by his eyes that you didn’t note anything else. “…doublet. Are you lost my lord?” You look at him teasingly now, making him chuckle.
“No, I do not think I am. I was just thinking of making my way back to the tug-of-war tournament. Would you like to come watch? It will be great fun and it will not take too much of your time,” he offers with a mischievous smirk that says he’s up to no good, or too deep into his cups of wine and ale. Either or he never once falters, and hopes you’ll accept his offer.
“Well, I am quite busy,” you share truthfully, but also with an attempt to escape his very…tempting presence.
“My ladies have all asked me to get them something from the markets and they’ll be deeply disappointed if I don’t provide.
Lord Lyonel tilts his chin up and looks down at you with his eyebrow raised. “Ladies?” He asks.
You scoff. “My ladies-in-waiting. They couldn’t come so they asked me to bring them a piece of Ashford to them. I love them so and get so morose when they are sad or disappointed. “
“How moving, but you have tomorrow and the day after that and the day after that,” he says bluntly. “Come, come. Your presence will give my men much-needed motivation and luck. ”
He jumps in behind you before you can protest further or find your escape and gently presses his hand on your shoulder, making your breath hitch before you’re led towards an open muddy field near the tree line where many people are gathered drinking, playing, and watching.
“Here we are. Drink? There’s fancy wine for your very rich taste.”
You shoot him a lighthearted pointed look before you take him on his offer. “Just one. My brother will enter the lists today and too much wine makes my nerves heighten and I'm already quite nervous for him.”
“Oh please.” He scoffs and flicks his wrist. “The princeling will be fine. He can heal from a bruise.”
“I hope a bruise is all he gains,” you speak out loud so the gods grant him that favor and don’t play any dirty games.
“Will you be on the edge of your seat for any other competitor?" He asks smugly as he hands you one of his elegant cups.
“Well no,” you whisper and shake your head before you take a sip of your wine without taking your eyes off him. “Should I be keeping my eyes out for someone else?”
Lord Lyonel slowly smirks before he takes a long chug from his wine as he never once keeps his eyes off you. “Well, I’ll be entering the lists today as well,” he says what you already know.
You giggle. “Will you?” You ask as you lower the cup just slightly. “Oh well, I will try, but if I miss you, just know you have my sincere good fortune. My favor is reserved for my brother.”
He hums and without looking he takes a sip of his wine, but ends up dropping some on his beard, making you stifle your chuckle as you take this as an excuse and steal a glance at his wine-covered lips before you point to the wine dripping from his pointed beard.
Lord Lyonel then proceeds to lean in and tilt his head, suggesting that you wipe the wine off his beard, but you just snicker and grab a rag from the table behind you as you know what helping him would look like to the onlookers.
Lord Lyonel doesn’t worry as much as you do, but he doesn’t argue against you either. He takes the rag and throws it behind him before he wipes the wine off his beard with his sleeve, and then falls beside you with his hand on your shoulder.
“Tell me what you see when you look out at the field where I’ll win my game, hm?” He asks.
“A muddy field and drunk men getting ropeburn. Oh, and a man sticking his tongue in that lady's mouth.”
“Ah. Well, that was a very obvious observation. I see that cunt with red hair keep rubbing his left leg. The man feeling that woman’s tonsils,” he points out. “Has a cut on his hand that isn’t fully healed yet. I see weakness and advantage.”
You steal a glance at him and smile with admiration before you stop playing the innocent and point out something for yourself. “I see that big man in the back with very toned arms and legs on your enemy's side as well. Gaining them the advantage lost with the two weak players.”
Lord Lyonel stands up straight and leans his body to the side to meet your cocky gaze. “And here I thought I was the teacher.”
You smirk at him. “My brothers and cousins tend to enjoy quite a few games when we reunite and I hear a thing or two.”
Lord Lyonel clasps slowly before you lean in and point past the crowd behind you. “I caught a glimpse of Ser Duncan in the tent behind us. He’ll give you the winning advantage.”
Lord Lyonel bites his lip as he holds your gaze, and shakes his head before he smirks and then turns away to pursue the hedge knight.
You’re left by yourself with your body ablaze by a feverish fire that you find excitement in. That is until you try to cool yourself down with a drink of wine and notice the beautiful amethyst ring adorning your finger and remember Daeron.
“It’s for you,” he said quietly the morning after your wedding night when you pretended to be sleeping so he wouldn’t notice that you had been studying his every feature on his enchanting face, but the truth is, he knew you were only faking it because he was awake too and was taking in every one of your features in the silence of the dawn after you closed your eyes.
“It was my mother's,” he revealed, earning a conflicted reaction before you whispered to him in disbelief.
“You didn’t steal it did you?”
He laughed. It was genuine and deep. Soft and addicting.
“No,” he offered you quick relief. “I asked for it because I found that it would be more fitting for you because…of your eyes.”
You remember opening the box and being immediately in awe as you noticed much more than the amethyst diamond. The thin golden band had dragons shooting out lightning strikes, and small four-pointed stars were also engraved and littered throughout the band.
The band was not made for his mother. You realized that at that moment, her house sigil didn’t hold lightning strikes and four-pointed stars as your mother's did. He had it especially made.
“It’s an apology present for the way I acted when I arrived at the Red Keep,” he said with his eyes watching you turning the ring in between your fingers before he watched your lips parted in awe.
“The apology before did not truly come from me. This is though,” he revealed and made you look at him with adoration for the second time. The first time was when you stood in white before him. He looked so handsome and captivating, like a true prince. That adoration lasted the entire night because he was so sweet and fun.
Thus, looking at the ring reminds you that he can be sweet, loving, charming, and a great husband, so you can't help but recoil with guilt for the way you feel for someone else…
But…he’s not here. He was mean and Lord Lyonel looks at you with desire. You want to be wanted…
Daeron is gone. Daeron is drunk. Daeron…makes you forget how it feels like to be wanted sometimes. Right now is one of those times…right now he’s making you feel lonely.
If you had your dragon perhaps you wouldn’t be well acquainted with loneliness, but he’s not real and loneliness is your companion…
“Watch me win, Princess!” Lord Lyonel exclaims, stealing your attention from Daeron and your ring. “The princess is watching cunts. Win or she’ll burn you all.”
How motivating.
Nevertheless, at the announcement as Ser Duncan is tying the rope around his waist, he glances back at you, causing you to catch his gaze and bid him good luck by smiling and lifting your cup.
He offers you a shy smile in return before he looks ahead.
“Hey! Dry those palms, you clam-handed cunt we’re not in your sister's chambers now!” You hear Lord Lyonel scold someone before everyone gets into position and the announcer gets everyone ramped up.
“Ready? Go!”
Both teams immediately start pulling and you get so swept up in the excitement that you join the crowd and start cheering and clapping too before you’re amused by a small boy with his hood up in the very front of Lord Lyonel’s team.
“What does that little thing think he’s doing?” You direct at your guard who is also entertained by the commotion.
“Making a difference. He pulls any harder he’ll snap those twig arms though,” he remarks, making you smile before you scoff at Lord Lyonel’s comment.
“If we lose this I will also drown your firstborns after the princess burns you all!”
You shake your head and go on the tip of your toes as both teams start leaning back with how hard they’re pulling.
“Pull you cunt-strapped dandelions!”
“Come on!” You cheer before you frown as Lord Lyonel lets the rope go and departs from the game throwing out an excuse.
“I’ll be back,” you hear him say back to everyone yelling at him. “I’ll be back! I’ll be back!”
“I’m thirsty!” You catch Lord Lyonel throwing out another excuse before he marches over to you and snatches your cup from your hands as his team starts slipping.
“I’m thirsty cunt!” He snaps at someone beside you and then at someone else in the corner of the gathered crowd as he’s turning around. “I’m thirsty!”
“Here,” he then bluntly tells you as he shoves the cup in your hands and walks back to the rope, but not without slapping Ser Duncan’s ass in the process.
“Looking good!”
What an amusing man…
Regardless, Lord Lyonel puts himself in the front of the team this time, right behind the little kid who’s now hanging his entire body off the rope so his feet don’t get dragged past the marker, and immediately starts yelling commands. “Pull!
“Fucking pull!” He bellows and with one strong pull his team manages to gain the advantage, causing the leading man from the other team to fall, and in so letting the rope go and losing!
The crowd grows wild and all surround the winning men, blocking the view of the lord in bright gold and every man and boy. You stay behind clapping and grinning to not get squished in the crowd.
You actually almost choose to leave silently, but then Lord Lyonel finds his way to you. “See, your presence and my skill made us win.”
You chuckle and take the compliment. “Well, I’m happy I could be of help.” You grin at him before you clasp your hands in front of you and reveal your intentions. “I’m going to return to the keep, but I will see you later tonight in my brother's tent? We’re hosting something small.”
“Oh, yes! Yes, I will be there. I will see you there, princess.”
“Good,” you say happily. “I will see you there.” You curtsy and before he can go he takes your hand and only makes that blaze burn brighter when he presses a light kiss on the back of your hand again.
“Good day, Beloved Princess.”
You swallow thickly and keep your hand in his grasp for a lingering second as you hold his gaze for a moment longer than yesterday, and then turn away to stride off thinking of no one else but him and the way he looks at you with so much desire…
——
*LATER*
Night had fallen. The horns to signify the start of the first jousts are blaring and your brother Valarr is moments from joining the field.
It is true that as Prince of the realm his opponents go against him with a reluctance to make sure that no great harm comes to him. Some men won’t even choose to compete against him because of his ranking, but even so, many things can happen out on the dirt field. He can fall off his horse and get stepped on, he can receive a hard blow and the wooden shards could pierce his eyes. He could just fall the wrong way and die or be paralyzed.
Thus, it’s hard to hide your nerves under a smile or innocent taunting, but you try.
“I could send everyone away so father could give you a kiss on the cheek for luck.”
“What are you still doing here?” Valarr remarks as he shoots you a pointed glare.
“Wishing you luck of course and…trying to prolong being in Aerion’s presence for too long. You’ve left me to sit with him alone. I have to sit next to him,” you stress, making him look out of the tent before he sighs.
“Well, you know he won’t do anything with our uncle there, so just remember that.”
You glance out of the tent and see your father walking over to address you. “Leave your brother be,” he says without having to witness the teasing. He knows it was happening. “It’s time we start heading to our seats.”
You nod in comprehension before you turn to your brother with a sweeter smile. “Be careful.”
Valarr grows serious and reassuring. “I will be. You don’t need to be worrying over me.”
You swallow thickly and nod in comprehension before you offer him one last smile and leave with your father.
“It’s a good thing you did not enter the lists. My heart would have given out I’m afraid,” you tell your father, earning a glance and a half smile.
“I would have if I were five years younger,” he comments, making you smirk.
“What? You don’t look a day over 35.”
“Ha. Tell that to my aching bones and greying hair.”
“I think the greying hair makes you look far more handsome.” You flatter him and cause him to flash you a smile before your uncle Maekar and your cousin Aerion join you so you can walk to your seats together, causing the already aroused crowd to grow louder at the sight of part of the royal family joining the audience to watch the first joust.
However, whereas you and your father greet everyone with waves and smiles, your uncle Maekar and your cousin Aerion are devoid of heart-warming smiles and never once greet the lively crowd. They sit as if the crowd isn’t here and luckily for them, the crowd doesn’t care or pay any mind to them as you did.
When the moment is over everyone focuses back on the field and then on Lord Tully who rides out just to make a spectacle and excite the crowd.
“For the new gods and old!” He bellows before he takes a bite from a raw fish, making your nose scrunch in disgust while everyone grows wilder over the crazy act.
After that, Lord Tully throws the bitten fish to the crowd and takes his place in front of his designated line across his opponent and beside the other competitors. You lose interest in the bizarre man and drive your focus to Valarr who you see riding to his spot on top of his black stallion.
Lord Lyonel comes to mind. You think of just stealing a small glimpse of him, but you keep true to your word and solely pay attention to your brother, noticing that he says something to his squire, but anything he might’ve yelled is lost amongst the clamoring crowd, so all you can do is watch him as he puts on his black shiny helmet and gets handed his shield and lance, making the inevitable fully set in.
Thus, you nervously scoot to the edge of your seat and clasp your hands together before you press them lightly against your lips.
In the silence that befalls the crowd, you can hear your heart pounding in your ears before you hear the sudden outburst of a drunk commoner.
“Lord Ashford fucks his sheep!”
The crowd erupts into laughter and the lord beside you shifts uncomfortably while you turn your head away from him and stifle your laugh, catching the attention of your cousin and seeing him judge you.
Daeron would’ve laughed though and in turn made you giggle. Why can’t Daeron be here instead?
At least Aerion doesn't open his mouth to say something though, so it’s easier to ignore him when he keeps his mouth shut. He’s even a tad bit pretty when he’s quiet. Only a bit.
Regardless, the horn blares again, one last time, starting the joust and making every competitor charge forward. You sit up straight as a board and feel your amusement immediately die and get replaced with nauseating anxiety as you watch your brother charge toward his opponent and…miss the first tilt. Which offers no relief.
The crowd goes wild as some men take nasty hits, but you can’t match that excitement. You press your clasped hands against your lips again, scoot closer to the edge of your seat, and wait.
Valarr charges again, again, and two more times without falling or knocking his opponent off. He keeps you on the edge of your seat until finally, on his fifth tilt, he manages to unhorse Lord Hightower with an excellent jab.
“Whoa!” You suddenly cry and practically fly out of your seat to clap and cheer for your brother. “Valarr! Come on! Whoa!”
Said man looks over at where you and your father are as he feels his rush of excitement and even though he has his helmet on, you can see his proud smile and see his mismatched eyes glimmer with joy as he sees your father mirror that smile, and sees you beaming and clapping for him.
When he eventually rides off, you sit back down and just let your eyes wander to where Lord Lyonel had been put, but he had already won before Valarr did so his spot is empty.
“I expect the same reaction for me tomorrow when I enter the lists,” Aerion pulls you from your thoughts before your breath catches as his fingers wrap around your wrist.
You try to pull your arm away, but he leans in closer to you.
“I will win after all. A lot quicker than…your brother did. You’ll see.”
Yes, and that’s because Valarr was playing fair. He won’t be.
“We will see,” you say stiffly and try to take your arm away again, but he only grips onto you tighter so you’ll stay in place.
“You will. I will win because I will have your favor,” he reveals as he turns his head to look at you. “You’ll be a good girl and give it to me will you not?”
You swallow thickly and before you can say anything he smirks and then clicks his tongue.
“You will. You won’t be able to deny me in front of everyone,” he uncovers your habit. “Heh. I’ll dream of it until then.”
You clench your jaw and then finally release your arm from his grasp, letting you lean away from him but remain uncomfortable for the rest of the event because you had to stay and watch. Once it's over though, you rush to your father's side to get away from Aerion, but are unable to recover that excitement that rushed through you when Valarr won.
You’re filled with uneasiness even when you arrive at your family tent where you’ll be hosting court. Usually, such things are quick to put a smile on your face, but your ladies-in-waiting aren’t here to take your mind off Aerion. Even when Valarr arrives you can’t seem to sit comfortably and start enjoying the night.
Lord Lyonel’s radiant presence even proves to be futile. Even if you hear his soothing voice as he addresses your uncle.
“Where might Prince Daeron be? I was hoping to share a few cups with him,” he wonders, making your uncle look even more bothered than he looked before.
“The prince is late. He will be here on the morrow. Of that I am sure.”
“Hm. Very well, I will drink a few cups in his name then,” he shares his solution that your uncle practically ignores, and then proceeds to bow, sparing one glance at you but not offering anything more than he was already showing before he heads to his table.
You don’t follow him with your eyes. You remain uncomfortable and continue to bear that courteous mask that fools the masses, but fails to fool those who truly know you. Which is why when dinner is over and the tables are pushed to the side, Valarr asks you to dance, knowing that it would be the perfect way to start the dance floor, and that it would be the perfect remedy to lift your spirits.
And it truly is, especially because you start with your favorite dance that goes back to old Valyria; the dance of the dragons.
It’s a traditional dance that reminds the guests you’ve invited who you are, that puts a smile on your father's face, enchants the masses, and lets you reunite with your excitement. Leaving the dance floor after that is impossible and that’s even more so when other people join you and make the energy riveting.
Yet Aerion is also here and his eyes lock on you as he watches you continuously dancing with your brother, and he knows that you would never be ungracious in front of your guests. That’s not how you were taught, so he pushes himself off his seat with a smirk and makes a direct beeline towards you.
You catch a glimpse of him so you point him out to Valarr and he loses you deeper into the dancing crowd, but it doesn’t fool Aerion. He’s still making his way towards you with intention.
Nevertheless, luckily enough, just as Aerion gets close, Lord Lyonel reaches you first and takes you from your brother, letting Valarr take care of Aerion.
“My Lord,” you greet the tall and radiant man whom you can smile wholeheartedly at now.
“Ah, well, it’s nice to see your spirits lifted. I thought it would surely rain before,“ he makes you feel flustered. “And I surely don’t know why. Your brother won his first joust.”
“My brother's victory did bring me joy, you are right, but my cousin,” you grumble your discontent, and manage to find him at the high table with your brother. “He has a way to sour my mood. I tend to usually have people between him and me, but tonight was not one of those times. Unfortunately.”
“Hm.” Lord Lyonel hums and steals a glimpse at the man you speak of before he looks at you wickedly. “I’m sure he’ll try to make his way to you again. Could you stop him?”
You scoff. “No.”
“Very well,” his words roll off his tongue before he lets you go and bows. “Meet me outside,” he says before he makes a swift escape, leaving you speechless but also bold because despite being with your family, you do as he says and meet him outside.
Only you don’t find him in front where people are coming in and out. He’s waiting in the shadows.
“I’ve found your solution to avoiding your cousin,” Lord Lyonel reveals, making a smile spread on your features. “Oh and your very drab party.”
You giggle and start walking away from the tent by his side. “Oh, well, my family is a little more traditional. Besides, it is still quite early. At your own party, you did not start dancing until it was late.”
He scoffs lightheartedly. “True. Maybe I just wanted an excuse to talk to you somewhere quieter.”
You glance at him with a smile and burning cheeks that he luckily can’t feel.
“You’re very bold my Lord.”
“Lyonel,” he corrects you. “Please just call me, Lyonel. We are past pleasantries.”
You smile at the ground and nod. “Lyonel,” you repeat before you tilt your head up and look at your path ahead. “Well, I must tell you that our time together is limited. I will be missed and when they can’t find me they will come search for me.”
“Hm. We’ll make it quick then.”
The fire under your cheeks grows exponentially, enveloping you entirely in a fire you cannot control.
“Make what quick?” You play the fool. “Do you want me to paint you? I can but I cannot promise it will be quick. I’m intricate.”
He chuckles lightly. “If you find me as bewitching as your fragile little creatures, who am I to deny you?”
“Fragile?” You giggle. “Forgive me, but I have to say that as fragile as they are, they’re also resilient and clever. Each one of them is uniquely beautiful and fascinating. They are worth admiring. From the smallest ant to the greatest beast.”
“Is that what you think?” He asks with a flicker of interest in his light eyes.
“It’s what I believe,” you agree with a fierce passion. “Yes.”
He hums and doesn’t push for more. Not like Daeron would have, and his lack of interest makes you feel short intervals of guilt before he makes your heart swoon as he presses his hand on the small of your back.
“I have to come clean,” Lyonel then interjects, piquing your curiosity.
“Even though people would say that what I have to admit makes me anything but clean. But I am no saint nor do I intend to live as one.”
Your eyebrows twitch together and you intend to stop, but he keeps pushing you ahead, towards the darkness of the woods.
“I am a dirty man and I do not intend to repent.”
“What is it?” You finally find the moment to ask.
Lyonel keeps you wondering though until you’re both under a green tree that's deep in between the thick of the dark woods where only the moonlight and the stars touch you.
“I want to steal a kiss,” he puts it simply with a mischievous smile. “It is wrong I know, but I can’t help it when you tempt me so.”
Your heart skips a beat and maybe you’re not breathing, it feels like you can’t breathe, but you must be because you’re not collapsing or feeling your lungs burn.
“You feel the same way. I know, so grant me the pleasure, or let’s forget this ordeal.”
There’s only your burning desire that burns hotter with every word that leaves his lips. The world doesn’t exist, no one comes to mind to stop you from giving into your wildest desires. There’s only him where your loneliness is.
He’s here. He’s offering what was strictly forbidden and you can’t help it anymore. You give in mindlessly and take what was forbidden to indulge.
And it couldn’t be sweeter. His wet lips molding into yours exceeds your expectations. It’s far better than a kiss on your hand. His kiss is deep and invigorating, managing to knock down every boundary you tried to put up to make this just one kiss.
You managed to separate after the one kiss, but you were both so deeply engrossed by each other's scent and taste that you both quickly dove back in as if you were too long under water and were coming up for life bearing air.
“You tell me,” he musters between kisses. “To stop and I will.”
You grab onto his jaw and between pants you talk to his lips. “Don't. Please don’t,” you beg.
Lyonel grabs your chin and leans in, brushing his lips against yours and talking against them, in turn making you lean in to try and steal a kiss, but with a breathless chuckle, he pulls back.
“Only if you find your way to me on the morrow. In the morning. Give me something to look forward to,” he says.
You giggle and let your eyes dart up to meet his gaze with a smirk. “That will depend on how this goes…My lord,” you roll out, making him flash you a charming grin before he dives back in as if his life depends on it.
You are willing so it makes it easier for him. As well as more exciting because without teasing him you shove your tongue in his mouth so they can dance in the heat of his mouth before he pulls away, leaving only a string of saliva connecting the two of you together.
He doesn’t move after that. His eyes just roam your face, making your lips tug into a smile.
Before you can question his silence he meets your gaze and gives you the answer. “You are truly bewitching.”
You grin brighter as you put your hands on his shoulders, letting you catch the amethyst ring on your finger glimmer brightly under the moonlight, while he watches your amethyst eyes and misses the dullness flickering within them as he's too drunk off the forbidden passion.
A/N- We’re back!!! I’m so sad yet so happy!! Thank you everyone for coming back and finishing this series with me, I promise I’ll give it my best and that it will be so much fun!!
Warnings- Swearing, fluff, SPOILERS, light gore, talks of unwanted pregnancy, long chapter.
Pairing- Steve Harrington x Hopper!Fem-reader
Episode- 5x01
(Let me know if you want to be tagged)
————
In the far depths of the vast darkness is the sound of Steve’s voice. It’s far and not clear, but he wakes you up from your dreamless sleep all the same.
The sound of a needy cry also echoes from where Steve’s voice comes from, and it’s a cry you can’t seem to ignore. It's as if your very life depends on you consoling it.
Thus, without fear and with the help of the moonlight that peeks through the window, you climb out of bed and with light and quiet footsteps you move about the room to throw on a satin robe and grab a battery-powered candle to let it guide you to the room where you hear Steve and the needy cries coming from.
However, when you step out in the dark imbued hallway the usual quiet carpeted floor creaks, making you come to a slow halt and twist around to shine the soft light in the shadows expecting to catch one of Steve’s parents wandering groggily up the stairs, but all you see is shadows not vanquished by your candlelight, so with a thick gulp you continue to follow Steve’s voice.
When you reach the room and push open the door there’s an odd sense of relief when you see Steve hunched over a cradle. However, that needy cry turns to shrieking and Steve’s voice no longer echoes. He’s quiet and his figure is still in the dark room. Usually, he would turn on the lamp by the door at night because he doesn’t like burning his eyes by turning on the big light, but tonight the curtains are drawn and the light doesn’t give life to the room. It’s imbued in darkness, making you relinquish the shadows as you make your way inside.
When you’re close to him, he doesn’t look over his shoulder, he keeps his back towards you, so you take the final steps towards him and gently press your fingertips on his shoulder with the intention of sliding your arm around his shoulder.
However, when you touch him, he turns around and with the candlelight in your hand, you’re immediately petrified by the sight of a faceless monster turning around to face you instead of your boyfriend.
It finally acknowledges your presence and stands to its given height, towering over you with Steve's lifeless body impaled in its long claws and one clawed hand caging the crying baby’s head.
“Steve!” You wail and cover your mouth in utter horror. “STEVE!”
The faceless creature opens its head which opens like a flower would in the sun. However, this creature is no gentle flower, it shrieks, showing off a mouth full of razor-sharp teeth with your dead boyfriend impaled in its claws, and a hand over the wailing baby.
“Steve,” you cry in grief and as if tired of your grieving cries, the demogorgon hurls Steve’s body to the side and then slashes at you, but you step back before your feet turn you around and trip you over, making you fall on your knees with a thud. A thud that sends off a wave of sense that this is a nightmare.
You can smell the iron of Steve’s blood, you can feel horror and grief completely riddle you threatening to cripple you. You can even feel your desperation making your blood race, but it’s…not real. A part of you knows that, but another part of you believes with all its might that everything that’s happening is real. That part of you yells at you to run, so you push yourself up and you run, leaving it all behind; your light, Steve’s body, and that crying baby in the clutches of the demogorgon.
You run out of the room and run through the dark hall. You run down the stairs with moonlight scattered on them, letting you avoid tripping and rolling down, and lastly, you sprint with all your might to the front door, but as soon as you open it, you come face to face with him; Vecna.
You pray and hope that it's not him. You don’t usually pray, but this time you do.
Yet, what good did praying do?
It’s him. His ugly deformed body. His noseless face and hollow eyes.
It’s him and all you can do is feel powerless and hopeless after losing the man that you loved so you do the unexpected and fall to your knees with tears running down your grief-stricken face.
“Don’t cry,” his voice sends chills down your spine and makes the hairs on the back of your neck rise while your breath catches in your throat.
“Tears are pointless,” he adds, making you slowly raise your head to see him towering over you, casting a long shadow over you as he blocks the light of the bright night.
“Please,” you cry, but why?
Why are you crying? You ask yourself before that other part of you breaks through your fear, making you realize that this is not real.
“Get out of my head!” You bellow with realization.
Vecna hums before he tilts his head, and without giving it away he uses his abilities to paralyze you before he forces you off the floor and floats you up to be at his eye level.
“Rejoice,” he says in a cold voice as he studies the way your grief turns to rage as realization sets in. “You have proven to be useful,” he says as he lifts his deformed arm and hovers his hand over your cheek, making you turn away to avoid his cold touch. “Your creation and I will achieve…the unbelievable.”
The line that he calls a mouth curls to a smirk, letting that be the last thing you see before you’re startled awake bathed in a cold sweat and panting for dear life.
“It,” you muster between pants as you drop your face in your hands. “It was just a nightmare…” you trail off and let out a shaky breath.
“Hey,” the groggy sound of Steve’s voice finishes consoling your worry as he reminds you that what you just saw was not real.
“You okay?” He proceeds to ask quietly, making you pick up your head and look at him, seeing his squinted eyes through the moonlight that peeks through the window, and the mouthwatering sight of his hairy chest as he’s propped up by his elbow.
“Yeah,” you say shakily. “Just a nightmare. I was…dreaming.”
Steve studies you before he nods gently. “Okay,” he whispers before he falls back on his side and raises his arm. “Come on,” he invites you to snuggle against him, and without a doubt you accept, and immediately you find safety wrapped against him and find comfort in the warmth of his hairy chest that tickles your face and the sound of his calm beating heart.
There’s nothing to fear when he’s with you. You can find sleep again with him by your side and his scent finding its way into your nose.
Yet…no matter how hard you squeeze your eyes or how many sheep you count, you can’t find sleep so easily as before and it seems that he can’t either. You can feel his fingers caressing your back.
“This is real by the way,” he says without needing to be asked or without checking if you’re actually awake. He just knows.
“Thank you,” you whisper before you kiss his chest and start caressing his bicep. “I’m sorry I woke you up.”
There’s a second of silence before he reassures you. “I don’t mind. It lets me think.”
You probe. “About?” And then peel away to be able to face him as he shares what’s keeping him awake.
“Dustin,” he reveals. “I…I don’t know what to do to get him to be like before.”
You sigh deeply and cradle his face.
Ever since Eddie died there’s been a change in Dustin. At first, you thought he’d grieve and then go back to being that hyper and adventurous boy you knew, but something died in Dustin that day, and that stormy cloud over his head has only grown darker. Too dark to go unnoticed, but no matter your efforts to rid him of that cloud, it doesn’t go away. It looms over his head making him angry, argumentative, and keeping him distant.
You’ve tried to help, Steve more than most, but it seems that he’s purposely pushing Steve away the most, leaving him confused and helpless on how to help him feel better. It’s something he’s often come to you about, but tonight he sounds more desperate for a solution.
“I don’t think he will ever be like before,” you let him down gently, but it still hurts him all the same. “Grief…it changes you.”
“Then…what do we do to make him feel better because I’ve tried talking to him. I’ve been trying to be there for him. To get him to open up, but he…turns me down at every chance he gets. He says he’s okay when I know he’s not,” he says with his voice rising with desperation.
“And he will keep doing it until he’s ready.”
Steve scoffs. “When?” He asks.
You shrug. “I don’t know. I wish I did. I don’t like seeing him upset either. I miss him, but we can’t rush his grief. The best thing we can do,” you say as you caress his cheek with your thumb and look into his big sad brown eyes. “Is be there for him. Be patient. That’s important.”
“I just,” he mutters and averts his eyes. “Feel helpless.”
“Yeah, I know, but you’re trying. You’re there for him. Trust me that’s good enough. Don’t give up on him. You more than most. He’ll come around.”
Steve swallows thickly so you lean in and press a light feathered kiss on the tip of his nose.
Steve’s eyes find you again and he offers you a sad smile so you drag yourself up and wrap your arm around him this time to press him against your chest. He proceeds to wrap his arm around your waist and you press a kiss on the top of his head as he finds comfort in your embrace.
“I dreamed of him again,” you whisper, making him grow stiff. “He made me believe that you were…dead. You were…”
“But I’m not,” Steve cuts in as he tightens his hold around you. “I’m here. I’m alive.”
You hold onto him tighter and bury your face in his hair.
“He was also after something else. Someone else,” you muffle, but he understands since it’s so quiet, and he understands who you’re referring to as well without needing to be told who exactly. That little sore subject that’s come up in your lives that you hope is not real. By not outwardly speaking about it you hope that it wouldn’t turn out to be real. Not yet.
“So,” Steve says as you feel his eyelashes flutter, tickling your chest as he asks a question against you. “You’re actually—”
“No,” you cut him off nervously. “We don’t know for sure. Not until tomorrow. He’s just getting in my head. That’s all. Not like it matters because it doesn’t get us close to him.”
“If you are, what are we going to do? Leave,” he finishes in a whisper that almost sounds like an answer. “Your aunt said we can go anytime we want. It’s your house too. We could stay there until we find a place of our own. Something small at first.”
“And leave Eleven and the others to deal with all this on their own?” You rebut in defiance. “No. And you have the radio station and…we don’t even know for sure. Not yet.”
Steve lets out a deep breath and knows not to press further, so he leaves it be until you get a clear answer. Until then, you just let the silence unfold. You enjoy it and each other's warmth, letting sleep eventually find you.
Morning comes soon and with it a new day that you start with a jog, making breakfast, and eating some before you find yourself in the bathroom undressing for a shower.
Steve walks in as you’re taking off your leg warmers and doesn’t seem to be fully awake until he realizes that you’ve already started your day while he was barely getting out of bed.
“What?” He asks as his eyes widen. “You went on a jog without me?”
You discard your leg warmers and nod. “You were sleeping and you looked so peaceful, so.” You shrug. “I let you sleep in. Breakfast is on the table. I’m going to hop in the shower.”
“And you’re wearing my favorite outfit, are you purposely trying to ruin my day?” He whines, so you approach him with a teasing smile.
“You like undressing me from your favorite outfit just the same. You can do that,” you tease, making him roll his eyes and groan before he turns to grab his toothbrush.
“You know,” he says as he grabs the toothpaste before he turns to watch you pull off your shorts. “I quite like this picture. You being here. Home. Not at work at that man-filled base.”
You feign a laugh. “I don’t. You and Robin have the radio station. My dad helps Eleven and does the crawl missions. Everyone does something so I will not sit idly by doing nothing if I can help it.”
“Nor am I asking you to just sit around although, you, sitting and looking pretty would be enough.”
You smirk and poke his chest. “For you.”
He scoffs and nods. “Yeah, I know. For me. I like admiring you.”
You roll your eyes and can’t help the smile that creeps on your face before you just make yourself clear. “Well, it wouldn’t be enough for me. Once this is over and we have a place of our own then maybe I could be persuaded into staying home. Until then this case is closed.”
“Yeah, yeah.” He nods and turns to start brushing his teeth.
You throw your leggings in the dirty laundry basket and then look at him in the mirror to admire his hair as it’s all carefree and down. “You know,” you coo as you run your fingers through his hair. “I like this look. It’s a sexy look.”
Steve’s brown eyes fix on you through the mirror and he shakes his head before he says something unintelligible with his mouth full of toothpaste.
“What?” You mess around. “You’ll leave it down after you shower with me?”
He talks with his mouth full again and you know he’s arguing against your idea about his hair, but you just smile brightly and kiss his cheek before you turn around to finish undressing.
“I’ll be in the shower,” you tease before you hop in moments before he does, letting you make the best of another morning you’re given in this chaotic turned town you’re forced to stay in because of the stupid military quarantine.
They think they know what they’re doing, but they don’t. Not really.
——
*LATER*
“Good morning, Hawkins!” You hear Robin’s voice on the radio, brightening up your morning alongside the ever-so-serious and boring border patrol. “This is WSQK The Squawk!” She greets and the sound of a rubber chicken cries, making you smile in amusement knowing that your dearest boyfriend is the one behind the sound effects while Robin does what she does best, talk.
“It’s looking like a pretty regular day in Hawkins. Fifty-five degrees, low chance of rain, medium chance of arrest, high chance of helicopters. But general banality aside, it’s an exciting day for me, your friend, entertainer, and DJ, Robin Buckley. Nice to meet you! AKA Rockin’ Robin,” she continues with her introduction of the day and puts on the song Rockin’ Robin’ by Michael Jackson in the background, making you smile even wider while you also scan the empty area at the other side of the fence.
“And why is it a big day for me, you ask? Well, it’s my 500th broadcast. Yeah, you heard that right, folks, Five-double-O! Which means it’s been even longer since you’ve heard the sultry voice of Jimmy “fast hands” Lee. But while Jimmy was fleeing Hawkins even faster than he moves those hands,” she says, followed by the sound of a woman’s scream. “Yours truly was watching slack-jawed as the earth split open beneath her feet and coughed up that tsunami of mysterious dandruff. And now, I'm stuck here with you, my fellow quarantine compatriots. And if I can be brutally honest, I couldn’t be happier.”
Oh, please. You know she doesn’t mean it truthfully, but either way, this quarantine will be the death of you. Along with the boring border shift.
“Because when you really think about it,” Robin continues. “Why would you want to live anywhere else? I mean, what town on Earth can match our very impressive military-to-civilian ratio?” She says followed by a silly sound Steve makes in the background that makes you snicker.
“And those free, mandatory medical checkups? I mean, very cool. ‘Cause after we inhaled those springtime snowflakes, I mean, who knows what’s wrong with us? Maybe we’re fine, maybe not,” she says and a fake cough sounds in the background.
“No one really knows for sure. After all, this was a “natural phenomenon never before seen by man,” she says in a feigned robotic voice. “A phenomenon now covered up by a giant metal Band-Aid,” she says in her normal voice. “Quite the eyesore, but hey, great for sledding. Though seriously, kids, stop sledding on the giant steel Band-Aid. You are going to kill yourselves. Also, the men with guns. They don’t like it, not one bit.”
They like nothing. They’re too strict and too secretive, but alas, you’re wearing their uniform and…helping them in a way.
“While we’re on the subject of things not to do, please steer clear of the Military Access Control Zone aka the MAC-Z, or as I like to call it, the Big Mac. I have no idea what’s going on in there, but I have a gut feeling there’s a pretty good reason they’d like you to stay away. But hey, the rest of Hawkins is still there for you to enjoy. Someday soon, they’re gonna let us out of here,” she says followed by the sound of a bell. “In the meantime, be thankful this is your home, study for that test, enjoy that TV dinner, and go on that date. Which by the way, is exactly what yours truly is doing tonight.”
You smile wider as you pick up the binoculars to look at the horizon.
“That’s right. Rockin’ Robin has a date, ladies and gentlemen,” she announces and the sound of the rubber chicken goes off again, making you grin. “And now, who is this lucky someone? Well, don’t be so nosy, kids. They know who they are. That is if you’re listening, which I hope you are. Because this next one, it’s for you babe.”
The song Rockin’ Robin stops and Pretty in Pink by The Psychedelic Furs starts playing. Yet it all too soon sounds staticky before it completely ends and static is all you hear.
“About time,” one of your comrades says as he joins you in the guard tower. “Can't stand the sound of her voice.”
You tighten your hold around the binoculars and just bite your cheeks to hold yourself back. You think of a smart response, but…what good would it do…Joyce says. Just listen to them Joyce says. Don’t pick fights or rile them up, she says and Steve echoes her advice only because he couldn’t stop you from joining. You know his first advice would be to quit, it’s a suggestion he keeps in the back of his mind to use the moment there’s an opening that won’t trigger an argument from you. Until then, he makes hinting comments here and there.
Your mother…she would’ve contradicted them. Fight against them is what she would say. Tower over them and grab them by the balls. That’s why she and your dad didn’t last.
Alas, you are not your mother and your position in the military is something you can’t put at risk, so you stay quiet and continue doing your job of watching and patrolling.
Watching and patrolling.
Watching…and patrolling.
This shift would be easier if you could sleep with your eyes open. Time would pass by quicker, but alas, watch and patrol.
At least, you can listen to music. That makes it easier. Besides, Steve insists on the matter, so you listen to one of your current favorites, Siouxsie and the Banshees to be exact.
That is until you tune out the music as you spot a truck picking up clouds of dirt as it approaches the gates.
“Truck approaching. ETA 5 minutes,” you let everyone below know as you pick the binoculars and look through them, catching that the truck driver is none other than your dad's weird friend, Murray. Good.
“What can you make out?” One of the men in charge of today’s shift asks.
“Delivery truck. Same as usual. Bradley’s truck.”
There’s audible sighs of annoyance and little to no alarm because they all know he’s harmful. Or so they believe. You know otherwise, but you’ll never tell, so you just descend the tower and just for this specific task you’re allowed to go past the gate to be able to greet Murray when he comes to a stop in front of the gates.
The task is not because they trust you, they let you do it because everyone finds Murray weird so they send you to deal with him. If it were anyone else you wouldn't be allowed to move from the guard tower, but they underestimate the weird man so you get to go down and let him get away with a lot.
However, he is still a few minutes out so you just wait quite impatiently. Shifting from foot to foot, checking your watch, and lifting your head to look out at the approaching truck.
In one of the many cycles, as you’re looking up, something…someone on the other side of the fence, just past the tree line catches your attention, pushing the sound of Cities of Dust by Siouxsie and the Banshees to the back of your mind as you focus on them.
They’re not military. He’s tall and thin in a clean brown suit that should’ve gained attention. He stands out like a sore thumb especially with that matching brown hat and round glasses, but it’s almost like you’re the only one who can see him. The only one captivated by his presence, and no matter how hard your racing mind and alarmed heart thumps, you can’t find the voice to alert anyone of his presence.
He’s by the gate, you need to alert your comrades and superiors of any presence by the gate even if they’re on Hawkin’s side of the fence, but as you part your lips only a breath escapes. His gaze steals all ability to speak and the warm smile he offers you completely stills you, making you go unaware of what's happening around you until you’re yelled at. “Hopper! Get to work.”
You gasp and your eyes flutter before you snap your eyes to your superior looking at you with annoyance before he points his eyes at the truck now halted by you.
“Right,” you mutter and break away from your spot to approach Murray, but first, you look back at where you had seen the tall man in the brown suit, but he’s no longer there…
He probably walked back into the cover of the woods…
Either way for now, you reach Murray and offer him a smile. “Good day,” you greet.
“Hey, hey. How you doing? It’s always nice to see a friendly face,” he greets overly excitedly as he passes you a clipboard with the papers he needs to go in.
“Austin Millbarge,” he says his memorized lines. “ID 4528-niner,” he laughs. “That’s me.”
You mindlessly flip through the paper pretending to read what it says before you hand it back to your superior and point your head at the truck.
“I’m just going to do a quick check in the back,” you let him know and with no other choice he nods with that fake smile still plastered on his face.
“Go on.”
You walk off to the back and like usual you're left to open the back all by yourself and do the tedious work of checking what he’s taking in. Again, because they don’t think much of him.
Yet, it’s not like you’re doing an extensive search, you pretend to look and then make sure no one’s approaching from either side of the truck to take out an orange envelope you kept hidden inside your coat to hide it between his things.
Once that’s secured you close the back and walk back to the driver's side to let Murray know discreetly that you hid information that the military is going into the Upside Down tonight in the back.
“Beautiful day for a stroll around town,” you say your secret message, gaining no suspicion of any kind from the men around you.
“Ha,” Murray feigns a laugh without giving anything away. “Only if you join me.”
You flash him a grin as you’re handed the papers to give it back to him. “Oh, you’re cheeky, sir. Alas, I already have plans with another old man today. Maybe next time.” You smile and he laughs with disdain after you call him old.
“I’ll hold you to that,” he points at you as your superior walks away to open the gate for Murray.
“Have a good day, sir,” you say your goodbyes as you step back.
“You too.”
You offer him one last smile before you watch him drive past the military and into Hawkins. You wish you could go with him because you know he’s heading to the radio station, but you’re left watching him get further and further away from the town side of the fence.
When the truck is no longer visible you look back at where that man with the brown suit had been, but like before he’s no longer in sight. He just disappeared.
Could it have been…Vecna?
No, you wouldn’t have snapped so easily from your trance if it had been Vecna. It had to be just a man. A curious man. There’s often people wandering to the fence, so that’s what that man was. A wanderer.
“Hopper,” your superior calls out, gaining your attention. “Doctor Kay wants to speak to you. Get in the truck and I’ll take you so you don’t leave her waiting.”
Oh?
Did they find that false lead? Is that what she wants to talk to you about?
Or does she know you’re not really on their side?
No, that can’t be it…
Whatever it is you do what your superior says and don’t leave her waiting, feeling anything but relaxed on your drive to the MAC-Z.
Once you would’ve enjoyed watching the passing scenery even if you’ve seen it all multiple times, but the military quarantine has a way to spoil the beauty of the small town, and there’s nothing to find comforting when it feels like the entire town is holding its breath as it fears what may come next, so you lied to Murray. The sun may be out but there’s nothing nice about town.
When will it all be over?
Soon hopefully, you yearn for life to return to normal where you can take strolls around town without being watched or fearing that something may happen at that instant. You have good days, but it’s exhausting being scared and having to look over your shoulder all the time.
Nevertheless, you eventually reach the MAC-Z, and what your dad has to do secretly, you do with ease and get past those gates and get into the MAC-Z where Doctor Kay is waiting outside the big gate to the Upside Down, wearing her usual green jumper, and typical scowl.
“Hopper,” she greets as you meet halfway. “They were able to spare you.”
You offer her a tight-lipped smile and nod. “You call and I come. It's nice seeing you out where the sun can touch your face.”
She scoffs. “You sound like the doctors,” she quips before she points her head at the sidewalk ahead. “Walk with me. The doctor says I need to take in more fresh air. That’s what I’ll do. While I work.”
You hum and take her side to walk with her down the street that was once calm and not infiltrated by the military.
“The lead,” you bring up knowing that it wouldn’t have gone well, but you still ask just in case. “Did they find her?”
“No news as of yet, but if they had found her they would have been gloating the moment they took her down to be validated.” She shakes her head in disapproval.
“I’m sorry,” you offer her because it was you who had passed the false lead, putting an innocent girl at risk to help your sister.
“You tried to help, don’t apologize for it. The girl is slippery. That’s not your fault,” Doctor Kay assures you.
“It seems like when we take one step forward, she’s already taken two,” you play your part, earning a hum.
“Had your mother been here she would’ve already delivered her to me,” Doctor Kay piques your interest as she usually does when she talks about your mother. Someone she used to know.
“She never disappointed me as much as this pack of men has lately.”
“Had my mother been here I wouldn’t be here,” you point out the truth.
“No, your mother always knew better. She was astute, fierce, and headstrong. She was better.”
You swallow thickly and nod softly.
“But she’s not here,” Doctor Kay continues to say, bringing you to a stop, and making you face her at a place that’s not so crowded. It’s not alone, but there’s not so many eyes on you.
“In her place is you, sharing her hunger for better, showing these men that we can get it done despite their prejudice. I look at you and all I see is her,” she says, making your eyes soften and your breath hitch. “She would be proud of who you turned out to be in this time of chaos. Where it feels like the world might end.”
You smile softly, but you also know your mother would want you far from this horror. Doctor Kay knew who your mother used to be before she had you, she didn’t know the woman you knew and loved.
“You show promise,” Doctor Kay says and takes a step toward you. “I want to nurture that and turn you into what your mother was. What she couldn’t be. I want you to be my Valkyrie,” she says words that catch you off guard and offer you a promise.
“That’s what she was,” she reveals and digs in her pocket to take out a name badge with ‘Valkyrie’ written on it.
“It’s not her badge, but she wore one just like this. She’s gone now, but I am giving you her name. She would’ve liked that.”
No, she wouldn’t, but she is right, you are like her. You share her ferocity to protect the people you love and you’ll uphold that to protect Eleven and everyone else that you love.
“From this day on I’m taking you under my wing,” Doctor Kay reveals as you take the badge without question. “You’ll learn from me and take part in the more important mission. Finding Eleven and saving this town.”
Your eyes give off a glimmer that she takes as glee and pride for being handpicked by her and given the honor of rising in the ranks, but in reality, it’s pride and glee for getting closer than ever before and now being able to offer more to your team. That’s all you wanted.
“Thank you, Doctor,” you say with a soft and thankful smile. “It means the world to me. It truly does.”
She hums and offers you a nod. Nothing else. She’s kind of cold like that, but that must be why she’s here. You would admire her if she weren’t actively after Eleven.
“You’re leaving early today, is that right?” She asks.
You nod. “Yes, I have to go to the doctors.”
She doesn’t probe, she just nods in comprehension. “Well, I want you ready tomorrow. You’re going into Dimension X with me.”
If this doctor's appointment didn’t hold such an important answer you would have told her to take you now, but you really can’t miss it. You need an answer today. You can't live without knowing a moment longer, it’s eating away at you.
“Okay, I’ll be ready. Thank you, Doctor Kay.”
She remains nonchalant and just nods before she dismisses you. “Go get your new uniform and supplies. If you come across trouble you report to me now or do what your mother did. Tower over them and grab them by the balls.”
You scoff in amusement and nod before you leave her after one last grateful smile, feeling lighter than before now that you can offer Eleven and the rest of your team more.
——
*LATER*
“Positive.”
Tears fall from your cheeks, wrinkling the paper and smudging the ink. The word is still clear as day for Steve to read. No matter how much you want it to be fake the truth is still there in dark letters.
It’s not that you’re angry that the test reads positive, you weren’t careful. That’s your fault, but it wasn’t supposed to happen yet.
You wish that by pretending that it’s not there that it would magically go away. You wish that’s how things worked, but this is not a fantasy, it’s real and it’s there, a little ball of inconvenience.
But, you won’t let that little inconvenience stop you. It’s there, you know, and acknowledging it is all you’ll do because you can’t sit back and watch everyone risk their lives. Not with so many people putting their lives on the line; people who would make life insufferable if you were to lose them because you can’t be there to help. That’s why you have to put the task first despite this new development growing within you. So, in some ways…it is for them, the…little inconvenience, so they can know happiness. And in some ways, it is motivation to fight harder. Even so, you won’t get excited.
If Vecna wasn’t on the loose, if your town and life weren’t in danger you would have been excited. You would have celebrated and ran to Steve with a grin, but everything and everyone is on the line, so you can’t get excited. If you let yourself get attached and something were to happen then…you’d break. More than when you thought you lost your dad.
If this ends soon and you’re still carrying that little surprise then you’ll rejoice, until then, you’ll only tell Steve. If everyone were to find out they’d treat you differently especially your dad and Joyce, so you won’t tell anyone else but Steve until this passes or until you can hide it. Until then, you'll go on as you were because you can’t afford to lose anyone or this fight.
Thus, you fold the paper with the response in your pocket and walk out of the exam room where the doctor had left you to process the news.
Your day at work is over so your next stop is the radio station. Yet on your way to the car, you bump into none other than Will seeming to be in a hurry out of the hospital.
“Will,” you greet with surprise.
“Oh,” he gasps and glances back with panic before he meets your gaze with his eyes wide. “Hey. Sorry.”
You laugh nervously and look past his shoulder to see what he might have been running from, but you don’t see anything, so you probe with concern. “Are you okay?”
Will nods and glances back again. “Yeah, yeah, just on my way out.” He laughs nervously and you look at him with concern. He reads it and quickly changes the focus back to you.
“What are you doing here? Are you okay?”
Your test results are already in your pocket so you just nod stiffly and offer him a stiff smile and nod. “Yeah, just came for a regular check-up for work. Are you sure you’re okay?” You turn the attention back to him so he doesn’t analyze you too hard and finds out.
“No, yeah, I was here with Lucas, but well, he’s with Max and I don't want to be a third wheel, so I was heading out,” he explains and his panic doesn’t seem to match what he’s saying, but you don’t probe out of fear that he knows you’re lying.
“Oh, okay, well, I came in Steve’s car today and I’m heading to the radio station, so do you want a ride there? I’m sure you caught Robin's late broadcast?” You ask without hinting or telling him what it might be about. You just hope he’s smart enough to know already that she announced a burn happening today. Murray should have delivered the envelope with the details for the burn, and Robin should have relayed all the details discreetly through the broadcast, so he should know.
“Oh, yeah, that’d be great! Yeah. Thanks.”
You offer him a stiff smile and nod before you walk with him to the car and give him a ride to the station, enjoying the sound of your music for a while until he finally picks at your presence in the hospital.
“Are you sure you're okay? I’m just surprised you were at the hospital. Doesn’t the military have its own doctors?”
They do.
“Yeah, well my doctor is at the hospital and I needed a refill on some stuff, so I went to the hospital,” you lie and glance at him to see if he believes it, and it seems like he does. He doesn’t look at you to question you or judge you. He just nods in comprehension so you don’t press on the matter.
“How’s…school?” You change the subject.
“Well,” he says as he looks out the window. “It’s easier with my friends, but it’s also hard knowing that Henry is still out there. Somewhere.”
You nod softly. “Yeah,” you say quietly. “I get that, but you haven’t gotten chills have you?”
“No…well, uhm, I did today. Just don’t tell my mom, okay?”
You glance at him with worry and concern because of what you dreamed about and what you saw earlier.
“You felt him?” You question and see him nod.
“But it can be anything, right? I just…don’t know. I don’t know what it meant. I didn’t see him or anything else. It was just a feeling.”
You hum as you look out at the road ahead.
“Have you…dreamt of him?” He redirects at you and you don’t lie. Not to him.
“Yeah, but it was the same as usual…he’s just tormenting me.”
Will nods before he parts his lips. “What if it means something? Do you think it means something?”
You shrug. “I don’t know, but I guess we might know later won’t we? When my dad does the crawl mission. You do know that’s happening today?”
He nods. “I caught Robin's broadcast.”
You nod. “Good, well, we might know then if your chill and my dream might mean something…just let me know if you feel it again, okay? Then we can tell someone. I know you don’t want to be coddled, but we can’t hide this. I know how overbearing parents can be, but unfortunately, this isn’t nothing. It’s important for us all to know.”
Will nods and stays quiet letting you know that he doesn’t like your response before he speaks on the matter. “How did you get your dad to stop being overbearing?”
You chuckle. “I didn’t, I left home, but he still finds a way to be overprotective.”
He nods.
“Not that you should leave home. You’re not eighteen yet.”
He chuckles dryly before he probes. “Would your mom be the same?”
You smile softly. “If my mom were here she would have been relentless the moment she knew Vecna wanted me dead, or I wouldn’t be here. My bet is on the latter. She didn’t mess around when it came to me…that’s not what you wanted to hear did you?”
He gulps and you know the answer is no, so you try your best to reassure him.
“Maybe you should look at your mom's overbearingness as…a blessing. She cares and wants the best for you.”
“But I’m not a child anymore,” he argues with annoyance. “I can help. I can do what Dustin does or what Lucas and Mike do. I can help. I’m not a child. I want her to understand that.”
You nod and spare a glance at him. “I know you can. And I know deep down she knows you can help too, but what happened to you makes it hard for her to accept that. She’s scared, Will. I know it can be annoying. Trust me I know, but you can’t blame her for being scared to lose you.”
Will sighs deeply and frowns before he mutters. “I just wish she’d trust me more.”
You nod softly and offer him a small smile before interjecting. “I know, maybe we can find something to do soon, hm? After this crawl mission maybe we can arrange for me to go with Steve instead of Dustin and you can tag along. I know it’s not as dangerous as Mike and Lucas’ job, but it’s something. Or you can come with Nancy and me to target practice? We can teach you how to use guns. Or we can find something to do without her knowing.”
Will chuckles breathlessly and doesn’t seem so reassured when you glance at him, but it’s something different than being stuck in the radio station under his mom's watchful eye so he nods in agreement. “Yeah, okay, I’ll like that.”
You hum and smile at him. “Great.”
Mindless chatter follows after that until you finally reach the radio station, but maybe you should have prolonged the matter because when you get there and meet Steve, your stomach is in knots and you have the mind to hide the news, but he’s expecting an answer so it can't be hidden.
“Hey,” he greets you as he pulls you away where Mike, Jonathan, Nancy, and Will won’t hear. Robin was at the hospital with Vickie, and you and Will left Lucas with Max at the hospital. Everyone else should get here soon, so it’s just the six of you for now.
“Did you go?” Steve asks with concern.
You swallow thickly and nod before you hand him the letter where the answer was noted. “Yeah, here.”
Steve takes the paper and takes a moment to read the response and then goes over it again, finding it hard to digest before he realizes that your fears came true.
“Steve,” you get to say his name before he brings his hand up as his face reads disbelief.
“I know, I know,” he whispers.
He runs his hand through his hair and sighs deeply before he kicks the small table beside him, startling you and making you step back, noticing Nancy and Jonathan looking over curiously before you ignore them and reach out for him to just hear what he thinks because right now all you see is his disappointment and anger.
“I,” you mutter with your eyes stinging and your chest tight. “I’m sorry.”
He turns away and shakes his head, making a knot grow in your throat.
“It’s just…” he trails off and you wait for him to finish, but he doesn’t so your mind makes sure to finish for him; inconvenient, a burden, a mistake, and it makes you feel scared. For the first time since you had a hunch, you feel scared. It was never going to be a happy moment, but you didn’t think you’d be scared either.
“Steve…say something,” you plead.
Said man folds the paper and keeps shaking his head with nothing to say, making you take another step back.
“I’m sorry,” you whisper and look at him one more time hoping for a change, but he looks just as upset and disappointed so you just walk away, making sure to keep your distance from everyone else because if someone were to see you and ask what’s wrong you’d sob since you still have a strong need to cry
Eventually, Lucas, and Robin come to the radio station. Your dad, Eleven, and Joyce are expected to get to the station later than the time everyone is supposed to be here so you don’t count them as late whereas Dustin is.
He’s usually never late, and he always seems intent on doing his assigned task. Whether he likes it or not you don’t know, he’s a vault now, he just does it, so you try to reach him through his walkie and at his house while remaining inside away from everyone, sensing Jonathan and Nancy both wanting to ask why you’re keeping your distance from Robin and Steve when you’re usually glued to them, but you make sure not to leave yourself open for them to approach you. You just let Robin know that you can’t reach Dustin as you keep your distance from everyone until ultimately your dad and Eleven find you as they finally arrive at the radio station.
“Hey, kid,” you greet Eleven with a bright smile that you muster for her.
“Hey, I knew you’d be here already,” she says as she walks over to give you a quick hug.
You roll your eyes playfully you probe about her training. “How did you do today?”
She shrugs with a flicker of annoyance. “I could do better. Maybe you can help me next time? I think Hop is making me go slow on purpose.”
You giggle and nod, adding nothing to defend your father because she’s right. “If you want, I’m down,” you say instead. “It’s always fun watching you train. Besides, I think I have some new obstacles to add.”
Her eyes brighten. “Really?” She asks.
Before she can respond a deeper voice cuts in, interrupting your conversation. “What is it?”
You both look back and you see your dad joining you guys in the room you’re in.
“Something,” you add stiffly. “Something cool.”
Eleven glances back at your dad and then looks back at you before she walks away, leaving you and your dad alone.
“Hey,” he greets softly as he slides his backpack off his shoulders to hand it to you so you can fill it up with snacks and supplies for today’s mission. “How’s your day been?”
You avoid his gaze because you fear he’ll find out what you’re hiding and just nod to end this conversation as quickly as you can. “The same as any other day. No change.”
“No dreams?”
You shake your head, choosing to keep your nightmare a secret to avoid him probing and finding out. He’s good that way.
“Okay,” he breathes out as he realizes that you’re going to keep your conversation dry like before. “So. When are you thinking about coming back home?” He asks as he stops trying to be nice.
You sigh deeply and finally look away from what you’re doing to meet his gaze. “Do you trust me yet?” You ask, making him scoff and shake his head.
“It’s not about trust,” he argues. “What you’re doing is dangerous. Do you really expect me to be okay with you risking your life in that base? Would your mom want you to risk your life spying on the military?”
No.
“It doesn’t matter if she would or wouldn’t. I’d ask her to trust me and she would. She’d give me that grace. That’s all I'm asking from you, but you can’t do it. I’m not a little girl anymore. I can be useful and I can do things.”
He sighs. “Yeah, I know, but what you’re doing is not worth risking your life. We can find other ways to spy on them, you don’t need to put your life on the line to do it.”
You continue packing his stuff in his backpack while also taking out the trash he kept inside from his other mission. “And what would you have me do here? Sit and watch everyone do something to help? No, not when we need all the help we can get and you don’t understand that so no, I’m not going back home anytime soon. Besides…Doctor Kay has taken me under her wing. Tomorrow I’m going to go through the gate with her.”
Your dad gets closer as he’s riddled with disbelief. “You can’t be serious. You couldn’t have accepted.”
You step back and pull out the name badge she gave you to hand it to him so he can see your commitment. “That’s what my mom was called when she was in the military. Doctor Kay trusts me enough to pass me her mantle. I’m closer than ever before.”
“You’re closer to getting burnt,” your dad argues and closes the gap between you to grab your arm so you’ll face him. “Your mother wasn’t lying when she was in the military. You are. Your mother was…”
“Tougher?” You finish for him. “I know I’m not her. I am not half the woman she was, but I am strong. I’m smart. I can do this.”
Your dad nods. “Your mother was tough. She was a beast of a woman. It’s probably why we didn’t last, but you know what? She knew when she was in over her head and knew when to walk away.”
You take in his words and appreciate them, but it doesn’t stop you. “That may be so,” you rebut. “But if it were me in Eleven's shoes, she wouldn’t sit back. She’d go to hell and back for me and that’s what I’m doing for my sister, for you, and for everyone else that we love. Please get that because I’m tired of arguing with you about that same thing.”
You take your arm from his hold and just leave him to pack his own backpack.
In the time you have left before your dad, Steve, Mike, and Lucas leave to start the mission, you keep trying to reach Dustin since he doesn’t show up, but you get the same response as before, nothing. He doesn’t even show up just as they’re about to head out and it’s honestly concerning and all you can think about.
Well, you try not to think of what’s happening with you, and you’re giving Steve his space so all you do is worry about Dustin until it’s time for the boys to leave.
“Anything?” Mike asks as he sees you walking back to the center of the room.
“No.” You shake your head. “Nothing, I’ll keep trying while you're out though.”
“Thank you,” you hear your dad tell Will as he takes something from him after he and Joyce come out of the storage room where all the weapons are kept.
Your conversation didn’t end well, but you know better than to let him leave without saying anything. “Be careful,” you muster through your annoyance.
He pats your shoulder as he walks past you to grab the tracker from Jonathan, so while Robin tells Steve to check for the tracker's signal from the Squawk van, you fall next to Will and announce the problem that’s risen. It’s mainly aimed at him so he can take this chance, but you say it to the entire group around the table so you’re not suspicious.
“With Dustin gone Steve is going to need someone to monitor,” you say and glance around the table before you land on Will, seeing his eyes brighten as he sees that you’re directing your comment to him. “So keep that in mind.”
Will doesn’t say anything yet, nor does anyone else. “Hey,” Steve comes through the radio. “Anybody know how Henderson’s wheelie thing works?”
“Uh, any ideas?” Robin asks, making Will speak up.
“There’s a safety lock. Look for a small switch under the wheel.”
Robin nods and then sends the message back to Steve. “There should be a safety lock under the wheel.”
“Safety lock,” Steve repeats what he heard and then adds a sassy remark. “Real necessary.”
A couple of seconds pass before he reports back on the matter at hand. “Okay, getting a signal. It’s pretty quiet, though.”
You put your hand on your hip and wait until he finally reports back with good news, letting everyone who’s going to go out know that they have the green light to move out. “Okay, signals holding a steady 90 dB. But how exactly am I supposed to monitor this and drive without Henderson?”
You look over at Will and he looks over at you, making you offer him an encouraging look while your dad asks about the missing teenager.
“Uh, hear anything from Inspector Gadget?”
“No, nothing,” you let him know before you open the space for Will to take his opportunity. “But it’s not all lost. He’s not the only one who knows how to monitor.”
“Yeah,” Will interjects. “I can do it. I…I can monitor.”
“No, you’re staying here,” Joyce quickly turns him down without even debating it. Just as you thought she would.
“No, mom,” Will argues. “I helped Dustin set up the antenna. I know how to work it.”
“Out of the question. It…it’s just a wheel.”
“It’s not just a wheel.”
You step up after Will counters his mother and try to help him out. “I could go with him, Joyce. I don’t mind.”
Said woman parts her lips, but she doesn’t say anything. She seems to almost debate your offer until your father ruins your plans. “No, you can’t. You want to keep that fancy new position in the military, you can’t risk getting in trouble or being seen doing something suspicious. Stay here with your sister.”
He’s right and you knew that, but with that now out in the open Joyce would use that as an excuse so there is no use arguing back and forth.
“Jonathan,” Joyce brings up. “You…you can work it, right?”
Oh?
You glance over at said man with a growing teasing smile.
“Yeah,” Jonathan doesn’t fret to reassure his mom. “Yeah. I mean, I think so.”
“You better not think,” your dad presses him, and rightfully so. “You better know,” he continues. “You lose me out there, I’m not coming home.”
You watch Jonathan tense slightly before he assures them with more confidence. “I can handle it.”
A sense of understanding is shared after that and your dad is off with Joyce trailing behind him to walk him out all the way into the woods behind the radio station where a hatch leads into the tunnels that the demodogs made what feels like ages ago. They’re all abandoned and dried up now, but not useless, Eleven and your dad use them now to get around without being spotted.
Either way, you leave the building as well to bid Steve a farewell. Much like with your dad things with Steve are tense. Less so with him than with your dad, but still, life is cruel so you can’t let him leave without at least sharing a stiff goodbye. And with the same thought process in mind, Steve is already waiting for you with the driver's seat window open and his arm hanging over the door.
“Are you my lucky monitor?” He asks as you walk out alone.
“No,” you say and skip before you close the gap between you and the van. “I can’t, I got promoted today so I have to be extra careful,” you share, holding some tension, but sharing some of that pride nonetheless.
“Oh, did you?” He asks with genuine curiosity and need to know more, but if you got into that now he wouldn’t be able to leave, so you just respond with a hum and nod before you cradle the back of his neck and tell him what you need to say.
“Be careful, okay?”
There’s things left unsaid. Things you have to discuss tonight when you’re alone and in bed, but until then, he looks at you with a flicker of soft reassurance before he’s smug. “Always am. I love you,” he reassures you while also trying to figure out how you’re feeling after he just walked away without saying anything before.
If you said it back deadpanned and with a scowl, you were pissed. You have never not said it back or not said it first though, again, because life is cruel and you both know better, so if you didn’t say it he’d be super worried.
In this instant though, you respond with a soft smile. “I love you too.”
You aren’t mad. He knows that for sure now, so he can go on with this task without worrying too much over the matter.
“And Steve,” you say with a hint of amusement before you lean in and whisper in his ear as you hear approaching footsteps. “Be nice.”
You pull back and press a kiss on his cheek before you step away from the van, seeing Jonathan walk out of the radio station.
“I always am,” he retorts and shoots you a wink, making you shoot him a warning look before you step away, catching Lucas and Mike outside with their bikes and Eleven behind her boyfriend to see him off too.
Once they’re all gone, you wrap your arm around Eleven's shoulder to reassure her whilst you walk back inside to wait.
“Hey, so, Hopper,” Robin fills the silence while you wait for everyone to reach their places. “So what’s this about you getting a promotion? You’ve been awfully quiet today.”
To anyone who wasn’t you or Steve, they would assume that you keeping to yourself today was about what your dad announced, but that’s not what it was because no one knows…
“Yeah, Doctor Kay has chosen to take me under her wing.”
Robin nods and narrows her eyes as she probes. “And you didn’t think it would be a big deal?”
“Yes, that’s surprising,” Eleven agrees with her, making you share quick glances with them before you shrug and look away.
“Well…when I have people saying it’s not the big achievement it is, it makes it kind of hard,” you throw your dad's reaction under the bus so they wouldn’t press further, but Robin still has her eyes on you with suspicion.
“Uh-huh,” is all she says before Will cuts in.
“So what does this new promotion mean?”
You sigh. “Well, I’ll be able to know and report back more stuff, and I will, according to her, follow her into the Upside Down tomorrow to see what they have going on.”
“That’s very good.”
“That’s what nepotism gets you,” Robin bounces in after Nancy. “Your late mother probably never thought her past in the military would get her daughter so close and cozy with one of our enemies.”
“No, she wouldn’t have liked it either,” Joyce says, making you drift your gaze to her rebuttal.
“No, but Robin has a point. Thanks to her I’m closer to the General. I will be able to relay important information we would have never gotten our hands on before. Important information that could help all of us, but mainly Eleven. That’s what matters. That’s why it’s a good thing.”
Joyce doesn’t say anything, but you know that she thinks like your father. She’s just much kinder about it and not so verbally opposed.
“Well, I think it’s a good thing,” Nancy is the only one who gives you her support. “Just…keep your head up when you’re around all those men.”
You chuckle and nod. “Don’t worry. I got it handled. Actually,” you giggle. “My mom would say to tower over them and grab them by the balls. I plan to do just that. Not in the literal sense of course.”
Nancy smiles in admiration before Robin laughs. “God, I wish I could've met your mother, she always sounds so cool,” she says with a hint of longing as she walks over to sit on the couch.
You walk over to sit by her and offer her some consolation. “She would’ve liked you.”
“Really?” Robin asks with genuine curiosity. “You think so?”
You smile at her nod. “Oh, I know so.”
She smiles with pride whilst she drops her head on your shoulder, letting you move onto other matters.
“I’m sorry things didn’t work out for you today.”
Robin sighs deeply. “I’m sorry too, but there’s always tomorrow.”
You hum and nod. “And tomorrow you tell the truth as to why you have to reschedule so many dates?”
Robin lifts her head off your shoulder and looks at you with annoyance before she says the same bull as always. “It’s not easy, you know? It isn’t the same as when Steve told you.”
He showed you more than he told you, but you digress.
“And no one said it’d be the same or that it would be easy, but—”
Robin cuts you off with a groan before she mutters. “I know, I know. I can’t lie. I’m slowly building up to it, okay?”
You look at her with sympathy. “I just don’t want you to lose someone precious to you because you’re scared to say the truth. It’s okay to say it. I mean there’s no way of hiding things now, is there? If…they don’t understand then it’ll be easier to break things off before it gets harder.”
Robin picks up a pillow and hugs it against her for comfort. “I know,” she whispers.
You sigh and grab her shoulder before you try to comfort her too. “If they love you they won’t run away. Trust me. But I’m sure they will understand.”
Robin holds your gaze with a sense of reassurance washing over as she nods in comprehension.
Silence follows for a second before she has to probe. “Are you okay?”
You laugh nervously and question her. “What do you mean?”
She shrugs. “You just…have been distant today and I got eyes, you know? I see when I have to worry about my friends.”
You offer her a faint smile and reassure her quietly. “Nothing's wrong. We’re okay.”
Her gaze lingers on you before she nods completely unconvinced.
“Oh, and tell your boyfriend to stop having measuring contests with Jonathan. It was funny at first, but it’s painful to watch now,” she adds, making you feign a laugh.
“Trust me I know, but it’s easier said than done…maybe Nancy and I should threaten breaking up with them if they don’t stop,” you joke.
“I quite like the thought,” Robin agrees with a smile. “Maybe then we’ll know peace.”
You both laugh and then let the silence completely take over after, feeling the tension build and impatience seep in as you wait. It hasn’t gotten easier, waiting, but you’re better at it.
You can’t say the same for Joyce though. “Squawk to Crow’s Nest, anything? Over.”
“Negative, not a peep,” you hear Mike say through the radio from the tower that he and Lucas are hiding in to spy on the military for your dad so he can find a way into the trucks going into the Upside Down.
Thankfully to Joyce’s impatience, the wait isn’t long after Mike’s response. In fact, a couple of minutes later you hear him finally share that the mission is in motion. “We got action. Four trucks, outer east gate on Main.”
The hard part is getting in the truck. You can never sit still for that.
“Burn commencing in five,” Mike says after a couple more minutes of silence. “Four, three, two, and boom.”
You can’t be there to see it, but you’ve heard it being done so many times that you can picture it in your head; the way the burning fire escapes out of their weapons and makes the gate cry and screech in pain almost as if it were human when all it is nothing but hideous. You can see the ash swirling up into the night sky, and the smoke growing thick and turning the night darker. You can see an opening slowly growing big enough for the military to roll in.
“Trucks moving in,” Mike reports, making you stand from your seat and bite the inside of your cheek.
“East is clear,” you hear Mike let your dad know.
Now, you can’t hear your dad just yet, but you can hear the responses he’s being given, which paints a picture as to what he’s doing.
“Hold. We got a straggler.”
You rest your hands on your hips after Mike’s report and start pacing as you wait for the next update.
A couple of seconds almost feels eternal, but that’s all that passes before your dad is given the all clear for him to move toward the trucks.
It’s only when they report that your dad is in that you can breathe and sit back down. As far as being scared for his life, hell yeah you are, but you trust him to find a way out of any trouble. He made it out of Russia, he can make it out of the Upside Down.
Trust is that easy!
“He’s flipped,” Mike lets you all know of your dad's status, letting Jonathan and Steve now come into play.
“Jonathan, signal?” Joyce asks and you sit back down and wait since things on their end take more time and patience.
And you’re proven right when the response is silence for a couple of seconds before you finally hear Jonathan. “Snagged it.”
“Should I move?” You hear Steve in the background.
“No,” Jonarhan says. “Hold. Hold. Hold. Hold…Go!”
You sit forward and watch Nancy approach the projector while Joyce reports to Lucas and Mike.
“Van is on the move.”
From the station, on the projector, Nancy marks the path the station's van and the military trucks are taking using your dad's tracking signal. They move slowly, but so far there's no trouble.
“Hopper, can you hear us, okay?” Joyce directs at you dad, making you hold your breath again.
“Yeah, yeah, loud and clear,” your dad reassures you as you hear his voice, letting you breathe.
“Good, good. Okay, hard parts over,” Joyce says what you’re thinking.
“I mean speak for yourself,” your dad retorts. “I still gotta jump out of this thing. And is it me, or are we moving faster than normal?”
“A little faster. Just aim for the grass.”
Your dad laughs. “I was gonna aim for the asphalt, but now that you mention the grass—”
As you roll your eyes, you come to a sudden halt when your dad suddenly cuts off and you hear a big crash come through his side.
Another crash echoes and you catch the sound of distant screeching tires.
“What’s going on? Hopper?” Joyce demands to know what you’re all also wondering.
“Hopper, do you copy?”
You share a worried look with Eleven before you walk over to her.
“Hopper!”
“Yeah,” you hear your dad groan. “I copy.”
You exhale deeply, but can’t find comfort just yet.
“What the hell happened?” Joyce asks.
“I don’t know. We just slammed to a stop.”
Vecna?
“Wh…why would they stop?” Robin asks and Eleven fills the silence with her concern.
“The soldiers. They know he’s there.”
You shake your head.
“We don’t know that,” Nancy voices one of your thoughts before you share the rest of yours and also try to reassure Eleven.
“Nancy is right. Besides, if that were true. There wouldn’t be all that commotion. It has to be something else. Something they saw.”
Eleven holds your gaze with worry and fear.
“There are too many,” Eleven keeps expressing her worry as she starts pacing. “He can’t take them.”
“El, listen. It can’t be that. Dad would’ve said something if that was so.”
She shakes her head and parts her lips, but before she can express more doubt you hear the reason why the trucks stopped. A demogorgon is lurking by them. You hear it’s chittering through the radio so you run to it along with Nancy and Robin to listen closer.
If only you could see what’s going on. You want to know, and you can picture it, but in your mind it’s a blood bath that has no escape, so you try to steer away from your thoughts and listen instead.
That is until all the lights in the room start flickering like crazy while all you hear from your dad's end is shooting and the truck moving before there’s another crash and then Will falls on the floor with a loud thump at the same time.
“Will!” Joyce wails. “No!”
You all surround him on the ground and notice that his eyes are rolled back as he’s convulsing.
“Honey!” Joyce cries helplessly as there’s nothing she can do but shake him in hopes he’ll snap out of it. “Will! Will! Will!”
Nevertheless, the fuse box on the wall blows, sending out an explosion of sparks that makes you throw your arms around Eleven to shield her from the flying sparks as you also fall back.
When it stops sparking you, Joyce, and Eleven sit up again while Robin gets up, and Nancy goes to grab a flashlight while you still have to worry about Will in the dark.
“Will, Will,” Joyce calls out as she shakes her son. “Come back! Come on, hunny. Will, come back. Come back. Will, come on. Will! Will! Wake up!” She pleads as she grabs his face now as his head keeps twitching while his body is still.
“Will! Come back! Come back!” She begs desperately before she starts slapping him, making you flinch with each hit.
“Come back! Come back!”
Either in response or just because he snapped out of it himself, Will finally wakes up with a gasp and sits up with panic written all over his face.
“Will,” Joyce’s demeanor changes to soft and reassuring as she embraces her son. “Sweetie. It’s okay.”
“Mom!” He cries.
“It’s okay. It’s okay.”
You breathe out a deep and stressed breath before you stand up as Will is out of danger now.
“I’m here. I’m here,” Joyce reassures Will as he gasps for air. “It’s okay. Just breathe. Just breathe. What happened?”
It takes him a moment, but when he can muster his thoughts he mutters. “I saw it.”
You swallow thickly and narrow your gaze.
“What?” Joyce asks for all of you. “What did you see?”
“The demogorgon,” he whispers, sending chills down your spine. “It’s coming. It’s coming for them.”
You furrow your eyebrows and probe first this time. “For who? Who’s them? Steve and Jonathan?”
Will's eyes slowly drift to meet your gaze before he shakes his head and slowly turns to look at Nancy.
“The Wheeler’s,” he reveals and there’s a sense of relief that it’s not Steve or Jonathan before you’re filled with worry again for Nancy’s family.
She seems to feel it too before you see determination along with her worry and fear.
She doesn’t linger behind when her determination pumps through her blood. She storms to the weapons closet. You and Robin don’t say anything, but you immediately follow after Nancy, and Robin follows after you.
When Nancy walks out with a gun, you go in and pick up a machete and a rifle to hang them around your shoulders without hesitation.
“Nancy,” you call out after her as you follow her burning trail. “I’ll go with you. I’ll drive you.”
“You don’t have to,” she quickly reassures you over her shoulder.
“No, but I want to. It’ll be better if I drive you. You’re in no state to drive and you’ll need another gun.”
“I’m going too,” Eleven also volunteers herself, making you twirl around to face her as you walk backwards after Nancy.
“El.”
“I can help. Guns don’t hurt it and you only have one weapon that can cut it, but it won’t be enough. I can help,” she insists as she’s hot on your trail.
The right thing. The thing your dad would want would be to make her stay, but she is right about everything and you want to give her what your dad doesn't.
“Fine, but put your hoodie up and keep it on the entire ride there,” you let her know, earning a thankful smile before she shows determination too.
You flash her a proud smile before turning back around as you reach the stairs that lead to the door.
Once you’re out in the main room, Nancy gives Robin a command. “Robin, stay here. Contact Hopper, and the boys. Tell everyone what’s going on.”
“Right, right,” Robin agrees as she follows the three of you through the station.
“The power,” you mention. “Think you can get it back on?”
“I can try,” she offers.
“You do, you call my house,” Nancy throws out next. “And tell everyone to get the hell out of there.”
“Okay,” Robin breathes out and once you’re out the doors, she stops and watches the three of you stride to the car.
“Keys,” you tell Nancy and as you reach the driver's side she throws them for you to catch.
“I want you guys to hang on,” you warn Eleven and Nancy as you get the door open. “I’m going to get there as fast as I possibly can. Rules be damned.”
“Good,” Nancy mutters as she slides the gun off her shoulder to be able to sit down.
You take your machete and gun off too and hold her gaze with confidence and reassurance and your weapons in hand. “Ready?” You ask.
She clenches her jaw and nods with her gun in her hands. “Ready.”
A/N- I hope you guys liked it!! Enjoy the peace before the worst comes!
Warnings- Swearing, fluff, SPOILERS, angst, talks pregnancy, violence, long chapter.
Pairing- Steve Harrington x Hopper!Fem-reader
Episode- 5x07
(Let me know if you want to be tagged)
————
In the eeriness of the Upside Down, where thunder rumbles like a foreboding song, and darkness and frigidness reign with an iron fist, the sound of your sister's voice as she calls out your name is like heaven came down to this hellscape.
But, you’ve been tricked by her voice before and it turned out to be a trick created by a cruel monster. She could be another illusion, all the figures you see coming out of the shadows could be a mirage before you’re at last taken to some hell.
Your dad, Eleven, Robin, Mike, Erica, Murray...and company are your saving grace, but what if it isn’t real? They’re getting closer, everyone seems to see them this time. Dustin keeps calling out for Mike, but what if…
“Are they really there?” You need to ask before you get ahead of yourself and get excited like before.
“Unless we’re all getting tricked then I’m going to go ahead and say yes. That’s them,” Steve says with a hint of doubt of his own, and given what’s happened, you don’t blame him for starting to share your fear. But they keep calling your name, and no matter how many times you blink, they don’t vanish into the fog. They keep getting closer and your yearning to unite with them only grows deeper and louder, but…you can’t risk burdening your friends by getting fooled again.
No matter how strange Eleven and your Dad look at you as you hang back in the ominous fog, you don’t run to them. You stay put and study every detail of their beings to make sure that they aren't a trick.
Dustin and Mike soon meet each other halfway in a happy embrace and you wait for something, anything, but nothing happens. No vine unwraps itself from a pillar, and no Demogorgon jumps out of hiding. The boys hug and break apart and everyone else stays where they are, so ever so cautiously you break away from your spot and start walking towards El and your dad.
As they remain where they are and nothing jumps out to scare you, your walk turns to a jog, your knotted eyebrows ease, your doubtful frown starts to turn to a smile, and at last your frightened heart starts to dance with joy.
When at last you reach your sister and have her in your arms, a heartwarming sense of bliss washes over you and you know nothing but relief at long last.
“Hey,” you coo as you hold Eleven tightly.
“Hi,” she whispers just as faintly as she also can’t believe that you’re with her, but she's happy that you are.
The one last thing that makes it all better and like you could survive all evil is your dad's strong arms joining your embrace.
“Hey, baby,” he greets tenderly and that’s all you need to hear for that anger you feel for him to temporarily melt away. Not even the fear that he’ll find out about your little bundle of inconvenience bothers you at the moment. You’re absolutely blissful.
However, when you pull away and see Eleven and your dad under the flashlights, worry starts to filter through.
“Have you guys rested? You guys look exhausted.”
“Have you?” Your dad deflects and your answer is written all over your face like it is on theirs.
“No.” You still muster before your eyes fall on a small and young woman with a shaved head and an intense stare before they dart to Vickie beside Robin, and lastly, to a random slim middle-aged man near Erica.
You had noted them before, but in your worry that everything you were seeing was an illusion they just kind of got pushed to the side. Not anymore though. What are they doing here?
“Nancy?” You hear Mike question before you can voice your questions. “Where is she?”
Oh right…
“Where’s Holly?”
You drop your head to hide your pity.
“It was like something had a hold of her, but you couldn’t see anything,” Nancy describes the terrifying scene. “It was him. Vecna. It had to be.”
“Mike?” Lucas’ voice coming from the walkie startles you, pulling your attention to the boy who was just called. “Is Holly okay, Mike? Mike, do you copy? I repeat, is Holly okay?”
A tense silence falls over the group as Mike and Nancy speechlessly and without offering each other any kind of physical comfort process what happened to their sister just as they were so close to having her at their side. It’s a pitiful and somber sight, but they seem to find strength in each other and that lets Mike answer curtly.
“We’re on our way back. I’ll explain everything once we’re back. Over.”
There’s a short silence before Lucas breaks it. “Copied. Over.”
Another silence falls over the group where Mike deals with the defeat of losing Holly after having her so close, but you’ve had time to sit with that defeat and you can’t help but keep wondering who the two strangers are so you finally blurt. “Can I ask who’s that skinny man and that girl over there?”
“My sister.”
“Mr Clark.”
Dustin and Eleven answer at the same time and you understand them both, but the questions don’t stop, you’re still as curious as before. Your dad can read that and offers clarification. “The kids' old science teacher and Eleven’s sister from the lab.”
“Oh!” Steve voices your exact thoughts before he points out the one girl you do know. “What is Vickie doing here?”
“It’s a long story,” Robin laughs nervously. “But she knows everything now.”
You hum in comprehension and offer her a pleased smile since you’ve been bothering Robin to tell Vickie the truth for a while now. Albeit, this is not the way she should’ve found out, in the middle of all the chaos, but alas, there’s no more secrets between them and she’s by her side so you couldn’t be happier for her.
“So are we going to start heading out now?” Jonathan suggests as there’s no movement going on.
“No, Jonathan we were actually going to set up camp here and catch up!” Dustin quips with a sarcastic smile, making said man groan and roll his eyes before he starts moving forward, making the entire group then start moving towards the gate that they managed to break open not far from the lab. Thankfully. It’d be torture having to walk any further.
“Hey, kid, are you okay?” Your dad finally manages to ask, and at first, you start to think about your inconvenience again and fear that he somehow knows. It would explain the constant glances he and Eleven kept throwing at you as you make your way to the gate.
“Joyce said that Henry was targeting you along with the other kids,” Eleven finishes for him, offering you some relief and a definitive answer to those constant glances.
“Oh, yeah, I’m…well, I’ve had some scares, but I’ve managed to escape, so I’m okay for now.”
Eleven doesn’t look comforted by your response. She looks at the shadows around you before she looks at you with heavy concern as if at any minute you’d disappear from her side because of Vecna. And it's because she looks at you as you’re watching her that you note something else behind her exhaustion. Something that gnaws at your heart. Something that has a part of her distant, morose, and pensive.
Yet you don’t question her here with your dad by your side and so many other people around you. You save your question for later and instead let your dad voice his confusion. “But why you? You’re not a child like the others. It doesn’t follow the pattern.”
You swallow thickly as your eyes flicker to the ground and your cheek slips between your teeth.
“Because of me,” Eleven gives her conclusion that makes her lips and her eyes droop. “That’s why he tormented her last time. He is doing the same now.”
As much as you want to reassure her that it’s not what she thinks, you can’t let your dad know the truth. You know him and he’d make everything so much harder plus you want to tell Eleven somewhere quiet where it’ll just be the two of you. Not here in the hellscape. Thus, you don’t correct her and let your dad believe what she said because it is believable considering your past.
At least it is to him, not as much to Eleven’s nosy sister who glances back at you and stares at you hard as if trying to uncover your secret.
And out of fear that she will, you leave your sister and your dad's side to join Robin, Vickie, and Steve.
“So,” you drag out with a look of curiosity. “How did it happen?”
Vickie and Robin look at each other before Vickie starts to stammer. “These…dogs! Only they weren’t dogs. They-they were in the hospital while Robin was there and they…they ate a man’s face!”
You and Steve look unaffected by her story. Just more curious.
“Demo-dogs, huh? Yeah, that’s how Steve and I joined forces,” you share with an ease that intimidates Vickie. “He and Dustin were hunting one and he asked me to join. I did thinking it was a joke…”
“Only it wasn’t,” Steve interjects for you. “It wasn’t a Demo-dog at the time either. It molted while we were looking for it, but why was one at the hospital?”
“Yeah,” Robin scoffs with a smile. “Nice story actually they were after Max…”
Nice?
“What?”
“Let me finish,” Robin cuts off your concern before it could turn into panic. “They were after her, but didn’t actually reach her because Lucas was with us and swooped her up off her bed, and just when we thought we were toast, Mrs Wheeler ended up blowing them up.”
Concern and confusion all run through your head before you have to ask for clarification. “But why were they after Max?”
Robin’s smile widens and then she shares the unexpected; Max is awake. That’s why Vecna sent Demo-dogs after her because she was helping Holly escape, but as heroic as that is, all you care about is her being awake. After 18 months she’s finally awake and just on the other side with Lucas. That’s why he wasn’t with the group that came to rescue you, because he was with Max temporarily bound to a wheelchair!
She’s awake and waiting just past the gate!
The happiness that accompanies that news enflames your heart and moves you quickly and swiftly out of the Upside Down so you can reach her before she can disappear or before someone can say that it was all a joke.
Life has been cruel and you don't want this news to be another one of its jokes, so you move as fast as this newfound rush can take you. However, when you see her being pushed by Lucas in the parking lot, you stop at the edge of it and cover your mouth as tears of joy cloud your eyes.
It almost feels like your heart is going to stop with the way joy keeps bursting through the walls of your heart, but it doesn’t fail you and she doesn’t vanish.
“Max!” Dustin cries loudly beside you before he breaks into a sprint towards her, making you finally react and start running towards her.
When you eventually reach her, you lose some of that thrill so as not to hurt her, and hug her gently along with Dustin.
“Hey, guys!” She exclaims.
“You can’t believe how much we’ve missed you,” you hear Dustin’s voice breaking. “We were always so scared you wouldn’t wake up, but we never gave up.”
You feel Max nod. “I know,” her voice quivers. “I can’t really hug you guys back right now, but please pretend that I am.”
“Okay,” you can’t help but cry. “Okay. Oh, Max,” is all you can muster. You’re completely at a loss for words because everything you could say feels so minimal to how you actually feel.
Thus, you say nothing at all. You just hug her until you assume she’s had enough, letting Steve, Nancy, and Jonathan come up to her next to express their joy for the girl's return.
It isn’t until you’re making your way to the van with a group that you finally find what to say. “I’m so glad you’re awake. I was so close to imploding if I had to play your song one more time.”
Max giggles. “Lucas feels the same way…” she trails off before she asks quietly. “You went to visit me?”
You nod with tears pooling in your eyes again. Only this time the tears were caused by hormones you don’t quite understand just yet. They’re just cruel and make you overemotional at times.
“All the time. We all did,” you offer her some light on the time she was gone. “Not as much as Lucas of course. I tried to beat him, but he ended up winning.”
Max laughs softly before she can’t help but wonder out loud. “Are you and Steve still together?”
You smile and pat her shoulder. “Yes, we are. I live with him now actually…as to why it’s a long story for another time, but yeah we are.”
Max groans. “I was afraid of that.”
“Why?” You giggle.
“Because you guys are so…”
“Gross,” Dustin adds, making you shoot him a glare.
“In love,” you fill Max’s silence.
“Disgustingly in love,” Lucas quips, making you snort.
“Says you,” you taunt.
“Let's go with…sappy,” Max finally voices her thoughts, leaving you wondering what really means behind that word, but not asking because you reach the van and let Steve and your dad load her into the van.
Once they’re done and she’s as secure as she can be in the back of a van not equipped for a wheelchair, you make sure to hop in after Eleven and take a seat beside her before Mike can. That way you can finally ask her what you’ve been meaning to ask. You aren’t completely alone, her sister is sitting across from you, and there’s others nearby, but it’s good enough to worry about her.
“Are you doing okay?”
Eleven raises her head at the sound of your question, but doesn’t meet your gaze. She knows not to do that. She wouldn’t be strong enough to answer with her practiced nod and short response if she did. “Yes, I am just…tired, that's all.”
That’s not it. Well, not all of it.
“I think I need more food,” she adds hoping that would make it better, but there’s something else she isn’t saying.
You don’t press her though. Not here.
“Oh, well, we’ll be at the radio station soon. We’ll eat and get that energy up,” you state so there’s no room for argument.
“Okay,” she says quite matter-of-factly to hide something that she isn’t letting you hear or see, but again, you don’t press. You just drape your arm around her shoulders to let her lean her head on your shoulder.
“I have something I need to tell you,” you let her know eagerly she can know it’s nothing bad. “So after we eat or during, either or, how about we find somewhere quiet so I can tell you?”
“Okay,” she says, but not so practiced this time. There’s a hint of curiosity and eagerness this time which makes you smile and keep that smile painted on your features until you find the eyes of her sister.
Of course, she averts her eyes when you catch her, but you proceed to address her. “So you’re the one who dressed her up in that punk getup? Kali, is it?”
Said girl looks surprised that you know her name and even more so that you voice lightheartedness.
“Yes, and yes that was me. I can see that she didn’t keep it.”
You snicker and shake your head. “No, she looked cool though so she should’ve.”
Eleven musters a chuckle before you offer Kali some grace.
“Thank you for looking out for her and teaching her what you did. Ever since she came back from being with you all I heard was how cool you were, so it’s nice to finally meet you.”
Kali glances at her folded legs and nods gently before she meets your gaze and offers you a tiny smile. Unlike Eleven she’s harder to read, not because you don’t know her, but because she can mask her face well, so all you see is a genuine smile.
“Likewise. She talked about you too. You and her cop.”
You smile wider and tighten your hold around Eleven. “Flattered. Can’t say I expect you to know much considering we had only just met back then,” you share, making her nod.
“No, I don’t know as much as I know your father, but I know you’re her sister. That counts for something.”
You hum with content and then rest your chin on Eleven’s head, letting the conversation end on a good note.
Eventually, you reach the radio station and the first thing you do is greet Joyce after she rushes to embrace Jonathan, and she's quick to usher the both of you inside, saying that you need to eat since you’ve been in the Upside Down for too long, and to that you both agree.
“I’m feeling a…” you trail off and think for a quick second before something mouthwatering comes to mind. “I want a grilled cheese sandwich with pickles and…”
“Peanut butter,” Steve finishes for you, making you gasp.
“Oh my god, babe!”
He shrugs nonchalantly. “What can I say?” He says smugly as Mike passes by and rolls his eyes while Robin chuckles teasingly.
“Okay, what about what to drink…ready?” You ask and he claps and nods.
“Pepsi!” You both blurt at the same time, making you beam at him before you come together and high-five.
“El,” you address her as she’s passing by. “Do you want a grilled cheese?”
“Yes, that sounds good.”
You hum in comprehension before you let Steve drape his arm around your shoulders and turn you so you can head over to where you keep the food, finding Dustin in your way as soon as you walk out of the hallway.
“Ten minutes,” he warns. “I need you guys back here in ten minutes. That means no fooling around!”
“Got it…dad,” you mutter as Steve walks around him.
“Gosh,” Steve quips, making you giggle as you leave Dustin groaning dramatically.
——
*TEN MINUTES LATER*
“Okay, so this is Hawkins,” Dustin explains what he’s drawing on the window of the booth. “And this is the Upside Down. So we’ve always assumed the Upside Down was another dimension opened by Brenner, but it turns out it’s actually a bridge. More specifically an interdimensional bridge that rips through space-time. It is wildly unstable, but held together by exotic matter, which we found dead center right above the lab. In theoretical physics, they call this type of bridge…”
“A wormhole,” Erica and her science teacher both say at the same time, but one with enthusiasm and the other deadpanned.
“And this wormhole,” Dustin points at the pair after they got the answer right before going back to drawing and pointing to it. “Connects Hawkins to here, another world that I’ve coined, the Abyss.”
“Any particular reason?” Robin asks.
“A realm of pure chaos and evil,” Dustin’s old teacher muses, leaving Robin more confused.
“I’m sorry?”
“D&D,” he, Erica, Mike, and Will say at the same time, making your dad groan.
“Jesus Christ.”
“Wow,” Murray adds sarcastically while you finish the rest of your Pepsi.
“I believe this Abyss is the true home of the Demogorgons,” Dustin continues. “The vines, the Mind Flayer, all the nasty shit we found in the Upside Down. It’s where all those years ago you banished Henry,” he directs at Eleven. “He was lost for years, and he would’ve stayed lost if it wasn’t for Brenner.”
“He had me find Henry,” Eleven adds.
“And when you made remote contact with the Abyss, the bridge formed,” Dustin bounces off of her without letting a second of silence form. “And ever since Henry and his army of monsters have been using it to cross right back into Hawkins.”
“Which is why we could never find him on any crawl missions,” you chime in as you sit back in between Steve’s legs. “Because he was hiding there licking his wounds after we beat his ass last year.”
“What a pussy,” Erica quips.
“Exactly,” you snicker.
“So all this time,” Joyce voices. “Vecna’s been hiding in the sky?”
You nod and hum. “Mhm.”
“It’s why I can’t find him in the bath,” Eleven points out before Jonathan voices his connected realization.
“And why Holly fell from the damn sky.”
“Yeah, but why is he taking kids up there?” Your dad asks the important question.
“For the same reason he took me,” Will says. “The minds of children are weaker, right? More easily molded and controlled. So he channeled his thoughts and powers through me to amplify his abilities, and he’s gonna do the same with those kids.”
“Amplify his abilities? To do what?” Your dad queries without wondering why Vecna wants you since an answer was given. Not the truth, but it was enough for him. As for everyone else, well, they assume the same thing so thankfully no one brings up the question again.
“Move worlds,” Max reveals, making all eyes drift to her. “Holly, she said Henry told the kids that they would help him draw the worlds together. And I didn’t understand what that meant at the time, but…I—”
“He wants to move the Abyss, crash it into Hawkins,” Mike assumes, but Will corrects him.
“No, not crash. Merge.”
You feel chills crawl down your spine at the mere thought.
“Henry wasn’t licking his wounds in the Abyss,” Will contradicts you as he goes to the window to add to Dustin’s drawing. “He was making rifts, weakening the Abyss, just like he weakened Hawkins. So when the Abyss and Hawkins collide—”
“They become one,” Dustin doesn’t let Will finish.
“He’s remaking the world,” El adds.
“How long do we think this takes?” Steve finally speaks up with a question. “To move worlds? Like, are we talking like,” he pauses to suddenly clap his hands, motioning instantly before adding his other question. “Or is this gonna take some time?”
“We better hope we have some time,” Mike says. “Because if this is all correct, we have to get 2,000 feet in the air, find our way into the Abyss, free Holly and the kids, and kill Vecna all before our worlds merge.”
“And if my theories right,” Lucas says after Mike adds to the already high pressure of the situation. “He’s gonna move worlds tonight.”
“Have I mentioned how much I hate your theory?” Robin inputs.
“Me too,” Erica says before Steve also interjects.
“Me three.”
“I hate all of this,” you groan.
“But at least now we know what we’re up against,” your dad adds as he also walks over to study the marked-up window. “And what we need to do. We just need a plan and here’s how I see it,” he says and grabs a marker to start drawing and explaining.
“At the base, in the Upside Down, there’s a chopper ready for the taking. We fly up to the Abyss, kill the freak, rescue the kids, fly back down.”
You bat your lashes at the simplicity of his plan because he’s missing a lot of factors.
“And may I ask if anyone here knows how to fly a chopper?” You voice one factor. “I mean I’ve always wanted to fly, but my dreams don’t count as actual skills. So does anyone here know how to fly?”
“It’s a helicopter,” your dad points out quite matter-of-factly. “They’ve got pilots.”
You furrow your eyebrows as his plan still doesn’t make sense.
“We force one to fly,” your dad adds, but still that’s easier said than done.
“Another kidnapping plot. Love it,” Robin says in a sing-song voice.
“How’s this pilot gonna fly a chopper into the rift?” Mike voices your exact thought that you didn’t share because your dad was just going to argue with you.
“What do you mean? We just fly through it,” Your dad gives the reason as to why you gave up questioning his flawed plan.
“What?” Mike questions.
“Idiot,” Murray grimaces.
“Just fly through it?” Lucas also adds to the questions.
“These rotors are like 40 feet wide,” Dustin points out. “It’s too big. It's not gonna fit.”
“Steve hears that all the time and goes in anyway. Don’t you, Steve?” Robin suddenly and for some apparent reason takes this time to tease Steve, making said man snap at her while you slowly shoot her a pointed glare before you can’t help but start smiling.
“What the hell is wrong with you?” Steve snaps.
“It’s funny,” Murray argues, causing Steve to hit his shoulder while your smile only widens and you have to stifle your laugh, making Robin wink at you.
You shake your head with a smirk in return and then look away when your dad suddenly blurts.
“Everyone shut up! Look, if somebody else has some magic bean that I don’t know about, I’m all ears. If not, it’s a risk that we gotta take. We fly, or we die.”
“Fly or die,” Murray backs your dad up.
“Kiss ass,” you grumble at the man sitting next to you while Dustin talks back to your dad.
“Well, then I guess we die.”
“Kiss ass? How?” Murray asks for clarification while Dustin and your dad begin to argue over the absurdity that is your dad's plan.
“Because you’ve been agreeing with all my dad has been saying even though it’s a stupid plan. Aren’t you supposed to be smart or something?”
“I am SMART, but it’s a plan!”
“A stupid plan.”
“Listen here, little girl. I don’t like you anymore.”
“Boo-hoo.” You deadpan, making his jaw drop with disbelief and making his eyes narrow with annoyance.
Yet before he can rebut, Steve shakes your shoulders before he slides off the top of the couch and walks off a couple of steps before he turns back to address the arguing group. “We don’t need the magic bean to climb,” he says, but his voice doesn’t break through the clamoring.
“We don’t need a magic bean!” Steve then yells, startling you, but managing to silence the crowd.
“Sorry,” he throws out before he explains himself. “Just…we don’t…we don’t need it. A magic bean,” he says almost shyly as he sees all the attention on him. “We got a beanstalk right here.”
You part your lips to ask for clarification, but he then walks off to grab something from the booth before he comes back to beckon you all to the kitchen slash tool room where he grabs a flashlight and sets it on the worn-out table in the room.
“Okay, this flashlight is the Squawk radio tower,” Steve starts to answer everyone’s confusion and curiosity. “And this slinky.” He picks up the toy and drops it over the flashlight before he stretches it over. “Is the bridge. We’ll never reach the Abyss from the tower, right? But Max said Vecna is drawing our worlds together. So, we let him.”
The corner of your lips starts to pull into a smirk as your confusion turns to awe and pride as you start to understand his plan
“And we wait and wait as he draws it closer and closer,” Steve continues. “And when it’s close enough and the radio tower is poking through one of the rifts, bam!” He snaps his fingers. “El makes her move, she does her meditation thingy, enters Vecna’s sick mind, and ambushes him. In your face, dickhead. And then, stopping the spell, halting the worlds from moving,” he puts it a lot easier than your dad's crazy plan was as he lets the slinky fall.
“Wham, voilà!” He exclaims while you can only smirk at his brilliance. “We’ve got a beanstalk. It’s perfect. All we gotta do is climb up it into the Abyss.”
“I like it,” Erika gives her opinion.
“It’s not totally insane,” Mike comments.
“Thank you,” Steve says.
“But there’s a problem,” Mike continues. “A big one.”
“I can’t reach inside Vecna’s mind,” El continues for her boyfriend. “He’s too far away.”
“Can't you just try?” Steve asks. “I don’t know, load up on some of your junk food or something?”
“No,” you actually add this time. “But we can get her close. The Upside Down lab is under his lair, and it’s still frozen in time, meaning that everything that was there before from Brenner’s experiments should still be there, like the…”
“Bath,” El finishes for you, making you nod in agreement.
“If you do make it into his mind, I can walk you through it,” Max offers herself to the plan. “Guide you. I know his sick mind inside and out.”
“I should be there too,” Eleven’s sister Kali also volunteers herself. “This plan hinges on stopping Henry, and right now, Jane is fighting him alone. It doesn’t need to be that way.”
You smile softly at her show of support whilst she continues.
“I can follow her into his mind. We can end our brother together.”
“Okay, yeah, I dig it,” Steve backs them up. “Sisters kill their brother. We rescue the kiddos, come home, heroes. And if Lucas is right, we don’t have a lot of time, so we have to move fast.”
“One final thing,” Dustin interjects before he walks over to Steve with a timer. “Cherry on top. On the way out, we drop a bomb near the exotic matter. Set a timer, escape the Upside Down,” he says as he lets the timer set off as an example. “The bridge collapses, and with it, the Abyss, the Demos, the Mind Flayer, all of it, gone. Game. Set. Match.”
“I like it,” you praise them with a beaming grin that lasts a second before you slowly draw the attention to the teacher. “But what are you still doing here?” You point him out. “I don’t mean that to offend you, I’m just saying that you can leave now. You don’t have to put your life at risk because this will be a risk.”
“She’s right, Mr Clark,” Dustin agrees with you. “You don’t have to do this. You helped us communicate, and we’re thankful, but if you want an out no one will blame you.”
The science teacher takes a deep breath as he weighs his options for a few seconds before he exhales deeply and looks up with determination. “I hear you and perhaps I should take this chance to leave, but I’m already in the middle of it. I want to see it through. Help as much as I can. I’ll take the risks.”
The boys and Erica all share a look of pride before you voice the support. “Okay, I like it. Great. That’s all I needed to add, other than that I love the plan!” You praise the boys, but mostly Steve.
“Great. Let’s start getting ready then, time is wasting,” Steve urges, making everyone move.
“Uh, Jim, I need El to help me flip the truck. The Demos made us crash and now it’s stranded in the field,” you hear Murray tell your dad, and since El was still nearby she heard too, so she responds before your dad can.
“I can do it.”
“Maybe not,” you voice your disapproval as you push through the passing bodies to join them around your dad. “We need you to preserve as much energy as you can. Can’t you use something else?”
“Yeah,” Murray scoffs. “What can possibly lift that massive truck in this quarantined town? So unless you and everyone else want to walk into Upside Down, then we need it, so El, can you help me lift this one truck?”
“Yes, I can. It'll be fast,” Eleven assures you. “I can do it and still have a lot of energy.”
You purse your lips together as you think about her agreeing to help, and try to come up with another way to help Murray flip his truck.
But, you come out blank so you step back and let Eleven go. Albeit, before she can leave with Murray and her sister, who volunteers to tag along with her, you pull Eleven aside.
“Before you go, can we talk?” You ask, reminding her of the impending conversation you had mentioned earlier. “We won’t be long,” you assure her and her sister, who’s waiting just behind her. “I just want to tell you this before I can’t,” you coax her as you find your sister's gaze again, seeing no moment of debate. She trusts you so she just looks back at her sister.
“I’ll be back,” she lets her know before she follows you down into the basement where you guarantee you’ll be alone.
However, when you’re alone, what you have to say doesn’t come as easily as you thought. It’s all such a jumble in your mind that you start to pace hoping that would straighten out everything you want to say, but the anxiety to reveal your news makes it impossible. So you just start looking crazy.
Eleven doesn’t think so, of course, she just grows concerned. “Are you okay? Is this about Henry?” She voices her concern, making you come to a sudden halt and shake your head.
“No, no,” you alleviate that concern gnawing at her, but considering that you still look perplexed, she doesn’t sit easily.
She’s going to pester you again, but you take a deep breath and proceed to reassure her. “What I’m about to say is not add pressure to the situation. It’s not to burden you. It’s to let you take a peek at the…rainbow at the end of the storm.” You laugh nervously, whilst Eleven looks at you puzzled and concerned.
“I don’t understand,” she reveals with confidence because she’s in your sole company. Or at least that’s what you both thought. In your anxiety, you fail to hear the inconvenient incomer that stops and decides to eavesdrop when they hear you and Eleven talking.
“Okay,” you breathe out and sit down across from her, but make sure to scoot the chair closer to her to be able to take her hands in yours. “Here’s the thing,” you pause and let out a shaky breath that makes Eleven gently squeeze your fingers.
“You can tell me anything,” she assures you, making you meet her gaze with a nervous look.
“I know,” you let her know. “It’s just hard because of the way things are, but again this is not to burden you. This is good news…I think. It hasn’t felt that way, but it is…or it will be.”
Eleven's eyebrows remain knotted as you don’t get to the point.
“I,” you clear your throat and let her hands go to rub your thighs before you start bouncing your leg and talking to the floor. “Steve and I. Well, me. I am. Not Steve. I’m going to have…a baby,” you finish in a whisper, but Eleven hears and goes still as she’s quick to figure out why Henry has really wanted to use you as a vessel, and as she’s quick to remember what her sister had told her about the pregnant subjects the military was using to make more of them.
“God,” you laugh nervously again as you clutch onto your chest. “It feels like a…weight was just lifted off of me even though dad still doesn’t know. Which reminds me. Don’t tell him. I will tell him, just after this so he doesn’t become even more overbearing. I wouldn’t have told you either until after, but…I’m hoping that hearing this will make you.” You shrug. “Fight harder,” you say softly and slowly lift your gaze to see her looking at her lap.
You can’t tell what she’s thinking, but you don’t investigate further either. You just assume she’s taking in the news and continue.
“I want this to be something you look forward to because I want you in their life. I want them to know you, not a story of you. I want you to, you know, make waffle extravaganzas when they’re older. Even though they’re so stupidly sweet.” You giggle and she shares a breathless laugh.
“I want you to teach them how to say your name and show them everything you never got to do as a kid. I want to watch morning cartoons together and whenever I’m at dads house and they’re falling asleep we can watch them sleep because it’ll probably be so adorable, but I can’t do any of that if you’re not there, so I need you to fight to survive,” you speak with a soft ferocity in hopes that would help encourage her. You hoped it did help, but you can’t be sure, because when you grab her hands again, she meets your gaze with tears streaming down her cheeks and a trembling bottom lip.
“Oh, oh, no, no. Why are you crying?” You immediately probe after you failed to notice her tears in your ramble of words that were suddenly able to come out of your mouth.
“Because,” she sniffles. “It’s happy news. I am happy.”
Tears you fought to keep away finally break out of your eyes and you question her. “Yeah?”
She nods. “Yeah.”
You offer her a wobbly grin and for once that little bundle of inconvenience doesn’t feel that way. It feels like good news because Eleven takes it well.
“So you promise to fight hard?” You insist of her as you bring her hands closer to you.
“I promise,” she assures you as she holds your gaze for a lingering moment before she’s the first one to lean in and wrap you in an embrace. “I am happy for you.”
You hold onto her and smile tenderly.
“You are going to be a good mom because you have been a good sister to me,” she says, completely shattering your heart and making you start weeping.
“Oh, El,” you coo and hold her tighter as she does the same. “I love you.”
She smiles softly and without hesitation, she returns those sweet words full of sincerity. “I love you too.”
Your smile widens and you press a light kiss on the side of her head before you caress her back.
“Jane or El?” You question. “I hear your sister call you Jane, so do you prefer Jane or El?”
She shrugs. “Whatever you want. It does not matter to me.”
You scoff softly. “Okay, then…El,” you say the name you have known her by since you were introduced.
“That’s all I needed to say, so I’m going to let you go before they come barging in here,” you let her know before you pull away and face her without the anxiety you started off with.
“Thank you for telling me,” she says as she wipes away her tears. “I’m happy you did.”
“Me too. Now come on. Times wasting,” you usher her and get up.
When you’re on your way upstairs you drape your arm around her shoulders and she does the same with you.
“How are babies made?” She asks, making you stiffen before you slowly look at her with an awkward look and she looks at you innocently and full of curiosity.
Or so she led you to believe because she then starts smiling. “It’s just a joke,” she reveals, making you laugh with relief.
“Oh good. I mean I was going to give you a very brief explanation, but good. Jeez.” You chuckle as she giggles.
When you eventually make it outside, Murray immediately complains as he honks the car, but you pay no mind to him and watch Eleven and her sister off before your dad joins you outside and you both watch them leave.
“I don’t trust her,” your dad suddenly says and you need no clarification as to who he’s talking about. There’s only one stranger leaving with El.
“Didn’t you think you did, but El trusts her so you should try to do the same,” you tell him, making him sigh.
“I thought you’d say that,” he mutters.
You hum and then turn to head back inside, but before you can leave his side, he suddenly grabs your arm and starts pulling you away with just a brief explanation thrown over his shoulder. “We need to talk.”
“Okay, but you don’t need to be so harsh,” you hiss and pull your arm from his grasp to follow him all the way to the radio tower where no one is near to listen in. Which is weird because he never shies away from having a private conversation around others, but you digress since it seems important.
“So were you planning on telling me?” He immediately attacks you with a sharp question that you don't need clarification for. At least you didn’t think so, you assume what this is about whether it’s out of fear or a feeling, you don’t know, but you assume considering his gaze his hard and his jaw is clenched.
“Tell you want?” You ask cluelessly just in case you’re wrong.
“About what you told El in the basement just now.”
You knew it. Oh!
“You were eavesdropping?! How dare you?!” You immediately deflect with a grimace.
“Tell me,” he presses coldly. “Were you going to tell me? This isn’t just something you keep to yourself, not when a monster is actively after you because of it, and not when all our lives are in extreme danger!”
There’s silence from you for a second as you scowl at him, but he doesn’t care. He grabs your wrist and immediately proves why you didn’t want to tell him anything.
“You’ll be staying here with Max and that nurse girl. You will no longer be putting your life in danger, and I don't know why Steve even allowed it in the first place.”
“No,” you bellow and rip your wrist from his grasp, catching him by surprise. “It was my choice to put my life at risk because I couldn't and cannot just sit idly by while Steve, you, El, and everyone else are risking your lives to try and put an end to this bullshit! I will not!” You seethe and then hit his shoulder to press your argument. “You will not make me!”
“Not…” he trails off and shakes his head as he scoffs in disbelief. “Who do you think you are? Do you know what you will be if you go out there in the state that you are in? Hm?”
You throw your hands up and throw out the first word that comes to mind. The one thing you’ve deemed yourself from the start. “A burden. Is that what I’ll be to you? A liability? Why do you think—”
“Yes,” he admits your biggest fear, making you shuffle back with your heartbroken with disbelief and hurt.
“You will be a burden,” he says the word outloud. “Because before even though I gave you a hard time, I could go on reassured by the fact that you’ll be okay, but now?! Now, you’re all I’m going to be thinking about besides all the other stuff I have to worry about already. So you will be staying here—”
“No,” you cut him off in your best sharp voice, but it’s shaky at best and your eyes display anything but rage. “I told you no. Do you really think I’m going to be safe here? The military is still out there, they most likely already know that I know Eleven, do you not think they’re after me to get to her? And Vecna, he can send more Demo’s any time he wants, so tell me if I’ll be safe here and not better off with you and everyone else? I have been fighting this entire time before you even knew. It will not be different—”
“But it will be,” he snaps and lurches forward to grab your shoulders and pull you closer to him. “It’s not the same. We are planning to finally kill that bastard, we are planning to take back what he stole. Do you not think he’s going to put up a fight? Do you think it’ll be easy?”
“Do you think it’s easy for me now?!” You cry. “Why do you think I didn’t tell you? Because you were going to make it a big deal and I’m already dealing with so much,” you breathe out. “I have been in a constant battle with myself between giving up so I don’t have to be a burden, or keep fighting. I always want to give up, but-but I can’t,” you stammer and slip away from his hold as he looks at you with his mouth agape and his expression conflicted over what you’re saying.
“It would be easier. Steve, Dustin, Jonathan, and Nancy wouldn’t have to gone off course as many times as they did to help me. Steve wouldn't have to be so hard on himself to keep me and himself safe, and you.” You point at him with a shaky finger. “You wouldn’t have to think of me all day. It would be easier to give up so I don’t have to be an inconvenience and so I don’t have to think of this baby as an inconvenience, but that’s all it is. And that’s all I am. So yes, I know. I know,” you breathe out with tears streaming down your face.
“I'm a burden, but I can’t…I can’t stop. I can’t stop thinking of this baby as a burden and I don’t want to. I should be happy. It should be happy news, and I shouldn’t have to have this battle with myself, but I am and I’m scared…Daddy, I’m so scared.” You sob and his anger completely subsides and guilt and pity take its place, making him step forward to cradle your face with his large hands and pull you close so you’ll hear every sincere word.
“I’m sorry,” is the first thing that comes out of his mouth. “I’m so sorry. I…can be an idiot and I’m sorry. You are not a burden. It’s just not easy anymore knowing what I know.”
“I know,” you sympathize with him. “But I can’t just be an easy target. I can’t just sit by. I can’t just not fight…or should I not? Wouldn’t it be easier?”
He caresses your cheeks with his thumbs and shakes his head. “No, it would not.”
He then drops his head and lets out a defeated sigh before he lifts his head and meets your gaze with a proud look. “You give them hell. You do what you’ve been doing and you never stop. Not now and not after when the fight ends. You’ll be up to your head with that baby sometimes. It will be hard, but you never give up. Don’t be like me. Don't lose your heart. Do you hear me?”
With streams of tears rolling down your cheeks you nod as you hold onto his hands.
“You’ve been doing great. I mean you’re still here unscathed even with that bastard after you. I’m sorry I didn’t see that. I’m sorry I’ve been overbearing…I just love you,” his voice breaks. “I love you so much and I don’t…I don’t want to lose you. Again.”
“You won’t,” you croak. “Just trust me. Please.”
He scoffs and then presses his forehead against yours, making you cry harder.
“When that baby is born you know what’s the first thing I’ll tell them? How hard you fought,”
“But,” you try to argue and bring up what you admitted to him, but he continues before you can finish.
“Regardless of your mindset now you're still fighting. That’s all that matters and that’s all that they’ll hear from me.”
“Okay,” you cry with a wobbly smile.
“And it’s not uncommon, you know? To think that way. Especially not with the way things are, so don’t give yourself a hard time,” he tries to make you feel better and you do. A sense of comfort washes over your heart.
“It’ll be easier though. After,” he says as he pulls back to face you again. “And I know I’m not your mother. I’m sure it would be easier if she were here to go through this with her because you’ll have a thousand questions, but I raised you didn’t I?” He asks with a smile, making you nod.
“So you come to me with whatever you need, I’ll be with you every step of the way.”
“Do you promise?” You ask with a little bit of fear of what the future may hold.
“I swear,” he reassures you. “Do you need me to talk some sense into Harrington?”
You giggle and shake your head. “No, he’s…been good. Supportive. We’re just waiting to be excited until after,” you say and pause to swallow thickly before you pass your dad a pleading look. “I know he may never say it and his dad well, I don’t think he’ll take the news well. So, can you talk to him? Give him some advice or I don’t know…say something nice. Show him some support too.”
Your dad rolls his eyes as he drops his hands from your cheeks and stands up straight. “I’ll see what I can do,” he mutters.
“Dad,” you plead, making your dad sigh deeply before he assures you.
“Yeah, I’ll talk to him. After.”
With that said you throw your arms around him to give him a tight embrace with a relieved smile decorating your features.
“Thank you.”
Your dad presses a kiss on the top of your head before he rests his chin on you. “I love you,” he says with his heart.
Your smile widens. “I love you too.”
“I have to go now. You make sure to wear extra protection, but nothing too heavy so you can still run fast. Keep your weapons close and ready. Eat something before you go and never hesitate to contact me.”
You giggle and nod as you reassure him. “I will, and try not to worry too much about me, okay? I can fight and I already promised Steve to stick with him, so be as you were before you knew.”
“That’s impossible,” he interjects. “But…you can fight, so you fight.” He says as he hugs you tighter.
“I will.”
“Give them hell.”
“I will,” you reassure him one more time before you let him go.
“I’ll see you after,” he promises as he pats your shoulder.
“I’ll see you after,” you promise the same thing before you go your separate ways, noticing Joyce making her way to him now that you were done talking, whilst you make your way inside and don’t take a moment to take a break.
A break comes when you’re on your way to the gate and then when you make your way to the tower at the Upside Down, but even then how well anyone can rest when you're making your way to either place is the real question.
You’ve tried to guarantee no surprises when you’re entering the gate, but to be overconfident would be stupid considering how much firepower they have on them. And the Upside Down, well, it’s Upside Down, unpredictable and dangerous.
So really rest comes after. When the fight is done and there’s nothing lurking in the shadows.
Your body seems to struggle knowing that, it threatens you with all different kinds of aches, and it threatens to cast an exhaustion spell that would be hard to break out of, but your heart is lit by determination that fights back all those aches and counters that exhaustion spell with a fury to once and for all end the evil and darkness threatening not only your existence, but all the people you love too.
What burns with the most ferocity in your heart though isn’t fury, it’s fear. Not for the monster threatening your existence or that of your unborn child, but fear of losing those you love.
Whether you’re there or not perhaps doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things, but that fear still moves you. It makes you secure your boots' shoe laces so you don’t risk tripping and falling if you’re on your way to help someone, or so you don’t fall behind and they have to come help you.
And perhaps it’s funny to be so wary of your shoelaces, but once you pull on your boots over your camo military pants that once used to be a part of your work uniform, it’s something you can’t help but obsess over until it’s done and they’re no longer loose.
As for extra measurements? Keeping your fear in mind, but also making sure you’re prepared, you accept that your dad is right about not being weighed down too much, so you secure a holster around your thigh for a shotgun pistol, while around the beltline of the holster, you pack extra bullet shells because you can never have too many.
On your torso, just for your father's sake you wear a black leather vest with some padding, but it’s nothing too heavy. Just extra precautions because you still need to feel light.
Lastly, just for warmth, you don the jacket that you got in your last fight with Vecna, the one that matches Steve’s!
Robin will most likely have something to say about it since you know Steve is wearing the same jacket, but now you have something to use against her since she has a girlfriend who buys matching things for them to wear. So, two can play at the game if she dares to start.
Regardless, you save donning on your speargun and extra shafts until after you’re dressed, but also remember not to pack too many shafts since they're already weighing you down the most. Anything else that fits in your pockets you don’t hesitate packing since nothing you pick up and shove away is too heavy.
After that, you wonder if you’re missing anything so you pat yourself down as you check off a mental checklist, but you don’t seem to be missing anything. Thus, as you spot Nancy walking over to you, you get in front of her, stopping her in her tracks.
“Okay, look at me and tell me if I’m missing anything. I just want to make sure,” you address her curiosity, making her look at you up and down as she taps her finger on her chin and hums.
Once she’s triple checked she points at your beltline. “Your Walkman?”
“Oh.” You mouth and glance down before you shake your head. “No, I am relying on hope. He hasn’t put me in a trance and it doesn’t seem to be his thing this time around, so I’m leaving it behind.”
“Okay, well then, everything looks good to me,” she assures you, making you nod in comprehension before you try to go pick up your shotgun pistol, but as you’re turning you notice her eyes aglow with curiosity.
“What?” You probe.
Nancy shrugs. “Now, you told me your secret so I get to worry, okay?” She reminds you. “Are you okay? Have you eaten? Drank water?”
Your face softens and you offer her a sweet smile. “Yes to everything. I’m good,” you let her know, making her nod slowly with some relief washing over her.
“Good,” she says. “You’re all good then.”
She offers you a sweet smile before you move on and walk to the weapons closet with the intention of grabbing your shotgun pistol, but when you’re across from the room you see Steve and Dustin hugging inside.
It doesn’t catch you by surprise, but you don’t barge in and interrupt their moment either. You hang back and wait and watch with an admiring smile slowly tugging on your lips and awe glimmering in your eyes.
Not because it’s a rare sight. Not because you’re overwhelmed with emotions, but because when you see how Steve hugs Dustin so tenderly and with so much love in his eyes, something changes.
You can’t say that if you look at the future all you see is a miracle, rainbows, and clear skies. You’re still scared as shit, but that thing you’ve been battling with and that’s felt like a nightmare if you thought too much of it no longer feels like a nuisance.
Your walls come down and that bundle of inconvenience is no longer something you try to shun from your thoughts hoping that would somehow make it go away. It’s an unexpected surprise, nothing will take that away, but you finally feel a flutter of excitement at the thought of the baby.
“For the record,” you hear Dustin interject, pulling you from your thoughts. “A Rubik’s Cube isn’t even a good measure of intelligence.”
Steve laughs as he pulls away from Dustin who laughs along with him.
“And your beanstalk plan, seriously, only a genius could’ve come up with that,” Dustin adds softly and with admiration.
“Yeah, well…I learned from the best,” Steve muses.
“Well, that’s true,” Dustin doesn’t hesitate to say as he examines a spear he and Steve both carry. “Silver lining. If it fails, we both go down.”
“You die, I die,” Steve almost makes you laugh as he repeats words Dustin had told him a couple of years ago in that damn Russian elevator.
“You die, I die,” Dustin repeats that declaration of loyalty back to Steve before he turns away and walks out, noticing you only when he’s about to turn the corner, but not saying anything.
He instead taunts you with that same knowing look that he’s flashed you all day before he pats your shoulder and smiles impishly.
“What?” You finally press him, making him point his chin at the ceiling before he then surprises you by embracing you. “Okay, I’m confused.”
“I know,” he finally reveals. “I know that you guys are going to have a baby and…honestly it’s crazy to think about, but I think it’s some of the best news I’ve heard all year.”
You scoff softly before you hug him back gently and rest your chin on his head. “It is crazy to think about,” you agree. “But it is…it’s good news. Thank you.”
He hums softly and hugs you tighter, making you grin before you both let go and hold each other by the shoulder to share a happy smile before he walks away, leaving you to watch Steve with a tender enamored look.
“What?” He asks with confusion, making you smile brightly before you sway your hips as you approach him to throw your arms around his neck.
“I love you,” you tell him wholeheartedly, making the corner of his lips slowly lift to a shy smile that soon then matches the tender look in his sweet brown eyes.
“I love you too,” he whispers his declaration before he presses a kiss on your forehead.
“I,” you say and pause to scoff softly before you continue. “I was scared before to accept what was coming for us. So many things made me scared to accept it. A part of me hoped that the results were somehow wrong, but I,” you smile. “I’m a little less scared now and I know that you’ll ease more of that fear if you say that you’re all in. You don’t have to. It’s too soon, I know that but—”
“But nothing,” he cuts you off, looking a little offended that you assumed he wanted an out. “I’m with you. All the way,” he declares with no ounce of hesitation detected in his voice. He’s firm so you never doubt him and it works because excitement flutters in your heart and your eyes glimmer brightly with relief and bliss.
“We’re doing this then?” You ask, but not with fear or doubt. With excitement for what the future may hold.
“We’re doing this,” he states with a bright smile of his own. “I,” he says and moves his hands away from your waist to cradle your face. “I have enough money saved up so we can get some place of our own so we don’t have to stay with my parents anymore. It will be small, but so will she. I mean how much room can a baby need?”
A lot, but none of it matters at the moment. You just smile with excitement and awe as he rambles on.
“I’ll get a good job once this is over. Two if I need to and if you want to stay home with her. We-we can host those baby parties so we can get gifts and I-I—”
“We will figure it out,” you put an end to his rambling before you press a sweet kiss on his lips and then assure him again. “We will figure it out. And you’re not getting two jobs. I’d never see you.”
He huffs softly and you hold his gaze as you continue slowly. “Also…well, just know that I don’t have this in my possession yet, but my mom was unmarried and had no other children but me, so when she died. I inherited all she left behind. She just declared on her will that I couldn’t get any of it until I was 21,” you reveal what you got reminded of not long ago by your aunt.
You’re sure it was mentioned before but in the haze you were under when your mother died, it must have slipped your mind. And then you came here and well, it all got crazy here, so it was a surprise when you were reminded that you have something to fall back on.
“Wow,” Steve gasps with surprise. “Way to go Mrs Rain.”
You scoff. “Yeah, it won’t be a lot. We weren’t rich, but—”
“We’ll figure it out,” he adds for you, making you smile softly and nod in agreement before you can’t help but lean in and steal a steamy kiss that makes him dip you.
“Steve,” you giggle between the kiss.
“Shh,” he shushes you before he molds his lips with yours as he pulls you back up and presses you against him.
“You,” he says as he pulls back for air. “Look very sexy by the way.”
You giggle and when you pull back for air you don’t fail to compliment him back. “Look who’s talking?”
He smirks before he can’t help himself and leans in again, becoming a bit more passionate by letting his tongue find its way past your lips and challenging you for a second before your tongues dance as you fall at his will and let him do with you as he pleases.
If things were different you would have made an excuse to go off somewhere more private, but you didn’t forget what you needed to do or where you were. Neither did he, so after a few more stolen minutes of just him and you kissing sloppily, you pull away, but don’t let go. He grabs onto your waist as he peppers your face with kisses, and you gently brush your fingers through his curls hanging over his neck thanks to his backwards hat.
“Steve,” you say breathlessly as he brushes his nose along your jaw. “I really want you to be careful today.”
“I will be,” he assures you as he tilts your head to the side as he makes his way down to your neck.
“I…I’m being serious Steve. You can be…a little reckless and I really need you to be careful.”
At the sound of your concern, he finally pulls away to meet your gaze slowly filling with worry. “I’ll be careful, baby,” he coos.
You grab his hand that he still has against your jaw and press him. “Do you promise me because I don’t want to lose you.”
He swallows thickly and his tender eyes gleam with disbelief as if it’s the first time hearing you say that. “I promise,” he swears.
You draw out a deep breath and then glance at his swollen lips before you steal one more deep kiss from him as if it’ll be the last time while you hope it isn’t.
“Come on before they come and yell at us,” you remind him of the outside world when you pull away, and then proceed to get your shotgun pistol before you find your way back to the others where you prove yourself right. There’s no rest between getting every weapon ready, going over the plan one more time, and then loading everything onto the truck when Murray and the girls return with it.
Moreover, the anxiety to leave and start your plan makes a nervous tension cling to every single one of you, but then there’s a moment to breathe when Mike comes from inside and announces that Will has something to say.
Albeit when Will sits there across from all of you, fidgeting nervously like he has a big secret to share that nervous tension finds its way back.
“I,” he starts off stammering. “I…I haven’t told any of you this because…Because I…I don’t…I don’t want you to see me differently.”
If it’s about the powers things. It’s cool. Very cool in fact.
“But the truth is…the…the truth is I am. I am different.”
You look at him confused as you lean forward in your seat next to Robin.
“I just…I just pretended like I wasn’t because…because I didn’t want to be. I want to be like everyone else. I wanted to be like my friends and…and I am like you,” he states with tears in his eyes, but no indication of where this is going. “I’m like you in…in almost every way. We…we like playing D&D late into the night. And we like that old person smell in Mike’s basement. And we…we like biking to Melvald’s for malted milkshakes. And we like getting lost in the woods, and-and getting lost in Family Video and arguing about what to rent and settling on Holy Grail for the millionth time. And…and we like Milk Duds in our popcorn with extra butter. And we like drinking Coke with Pop Rocks.”
You smile faintly at all the different things he says likes, but your confusion is still present.
“And we like bike races and trading comics and-and NASA and Steve Martin and Lucky Charms and…literally all the same things,” he starts to cry. “I just…I just…I…I just…I…I…I don’t like girls.”
You sit back with your confusion still lingering for a few seconds before you finally start to realize what he’s trying to say, the revelation he’s having a hard time putting into words.
He’s…gay and he just told everyone. Or at least everyone should understand what he should be meaning now.
“I mean…” Will continues with tears rolling down his cheeks. “I mean I do. Just…just not like you guys do. And I, uh, I had this…crush on someone, even though I know…I know they’re not like me.” He shakes his head and cries, and even though he’s currently carrying a sad look in his eyes you can’t help but feel proud that he had the guts to admit what he just said.
You wouldn’t be able to do it. Not in front of so many people at least.
“But…but then I realized he’s just my Tammy,” he reveals, making you smile as you understand the reference before you glance over at Robin and catch her crying. Thus, you reach for her hand and take it in yours, making her look at you and offer you a wobbly smile before you focus back on Will as he goes on.
“And by Tammy, I mean it was never about him. It was…It was about me. And I thought I was finally okay with myself, but…but then today…today Vecna showed me what would happen if I did this, if I told you guys the truth. He showed me a future, and in this future, some of you are just…are just worried for me. Worried that things will be harder for me. And it just makes me feel like something's wrong with me. So I…so I push you away. And-and for the rest of us, we just drift apart more and more and more and more until I’m alone,” he confesses what he was shown, making your heart ache.
“And I know none of that has happened, and Vecna can’t see into the future. But-but he can see into our minds, and he knows things. And it just felt so real. It felt so real,” he sobs.
“Will,” his mom interjects as she grabs his hand. “You gotta listen to me. That will never ever happen. You’ll never lose me. Ever.”
“Okay. Okay.”
“And you’ll never lose me,” Jonathan doesn’t hesitate to reassure him too before he gets off his seat to go hug him.
“Or me,” Lucas proceeds to say as he also gets up and embraces his friend.
“Or me,” Dustin follows.
“Or me,” Mike echoes and joins the embrace.
“Or me,” Eleven says and joins the group embrace, leaving you to be the last one to speak in support of Will.
“Or me,” you say before you get up and join the group.
“Or me,” you hear Robin say through tears as she stays in her seat, but it’s not like it crossed anyone’s mind to force her to come over. You stay where you are and show your unconditional love for Will, stealing only a couple of moments to remain together before the embrace breaks apart.
“Guess you didn’t need truth serum, huh?” Robin interjects lightheartedly, making Will shake his head.
“Sorry. This sucks,” Max breaks her silence. “But you’re gonna have to hug me.”
“Oh, Max,” Will chuckles breathlessly before he gives her what she asked for.
“Just imagine I’m hugging you really tight, okay?” She says.
“Okay.”
When Will pulls away he faces the group again, but addresses your sister. “El. I know you’re strong enough to defeat Vecna. But he can retreat to the physical world, and we need to be ready to fight him there too. We have bullets and fire, but none of that helped those soldiers. I need to be there and I’m ready. I’m ready to show him I’m not afraid anymore,” he says and you look at his mother, expecting her to protest, but things seem to have changed since the last time. She seems to support his choice and once again you can’t help but be proud, and you have to tell him.
You can’t just sit with your feelings. They’re too big to just hope he knows what it is you feel. And it’s not to be pessimistic either. It's just something that needs to be said, so once you’re in the back of the truck on your way to the gate you make sure to steal a couple of minutes to talk to him.
“So powers huh?”
Will looks at you a bit surprised before he scoffs and flicks his wrist. “It’s no big deal. Really.”
“Well, it is to me because it was your connection to the hive mind that saved me from being taken. I would be in that other dimension now living through whatever torture Vecna had planned for me. So thank you, and you should be proud of what you can do.”
Will smiles shyly at his hands, so you continue as you nudge him.
“And you should be proud of what you confessed today. I know I am.”
Will’s lashes flutter as he still deals with disbelief over hearing that the people he loves support him.
“Thank you,” he whispers before he slowly lifts his gaze to find your eyes. “Really,” he presses. “It means a lot.”
You offer him a sincere smile before you cup his shoulder and give it a gentle squeeze. “Just don’t let the power thing go to your head, okay? It’d suck having to knock you down a peg.”
Will chuckles. “Well, you don’t have to worry. Hopefully, my connection won’t last longer than tonight, but if that does come to pass please knock some sense into me.”
You snicker and nod. “Just remember you asked for it.”
You both laugh together before your attention is stolen by the sound of bullets hitting the walls of the truck, causing Nancy to shoot you a quick look.
“Ready?” She asks.
You let out a deep breath and then smirk. “As I’ll ever be,” you assure her as you take the second rifle from her, hearing more bullets in the distance and assuming that it’s your father. Or at least, you hope it is him playing his part in taking down the soldiers he needs to bring down so you can go through that gate.
He said he was already in place, but you can never be sure and you can’t stop once you’ve already revealed your element of surprise, so you hope while you wait and listen; hearing only the bullets firing in the distance, but no longer hitting the truck, so it means your dad did it. Or at least you hope.
Either way, the truck itself speeds up, and in turn makes you grab onto the shelves bolted to the floor before you hear a loud crash that’s followed by a tremble that would've thrown you off your feet if you hadn’t secured yourself before.
After that, you’re given another rude greeting with bullets hitting the truck, threatening to penetrate through, but luckily none of them do, so you continue to move down the truck and reach Nancy under the gap on the ceiling that she personally accommodated so she can pop out of the top and shoot at the soldiers trying to bring the truck down.
“Ready?” She asks one more time.
“Ready,” you assure her confidently before she uses one ladder to climb to the top, and you use the other across from hers, offering the soldiers below a surprise and fighting fire with fire.
And perhaps you may only be two shooters against a handful of their own coming out to fight, but between you and Nancy, you are intimidating and lethal enough to bring them all down. At least, until Jonathan and Steve secure your dad in the back.
Once your dad is inside, you and Nancy duck inside, but don’t join the others yet. You make sure the truck is on the move and the door in the back is closed before you drop down.
“Nice shooting,” you immediately fire at Nancy with a grin, seeing her mirror it with the same smugness.
“You too,” she throws back before you rejoin the others.
“Everybody all right?” You hear your dad ask the group. “Everybody okay?”
“Yeah,” you all collectively say.
“You all right? Everybody, all right?” He asks once more, earning more of the same responses, so he turns to face you and Nancy.
“Hey, nice shooting back there girls,” he compliments, making Nancy smile, and making you smirk before you don’t hesitate to offer him a compliment.
“You too.”
He offers Nancy a smile and then proceeds to pat her arm before he wraps his arm around you and takes you with him to an empty spot where you can stand and wait for the truck to come to a stop at the lab in the Upside Down, because that’s where you are now. There’s no mistaking it.
Which is good because you can continue with your plan, but it’s also the Upside Down, there’s nothing good about being down here.
“I kind of thought that that was supposed to be the easy part,” Robin interjects as she clings to the bolted shelves.
“It was,” Lucas steals the words right out of your mouth, but what he leaves out and what everyone can’t say is that it’s only going to get harder
