#dan vs rewritten

[partyhatproject]

so how would dan vs the dinosaur go in your au.

Dan would be called to watch the dinosaur-briefing video with Elise (both in disguise of course), however he would insist on letting her "handle it alone" under the guise of not believing it so he could run off and handle it in his own, vengeance-filled way as Dan.

Dan learns from getting punched the first time by the Australian dude (don't remember if he had a name lmao) and dodges the second punch, telling him to "watch it"

After arriving at Burgerphile towards the end, Dan changes into his disguise after telling Ben and Australian guy to shove it, Running into Elise after that and having the same conversation as in the episode (dialogue would be different, see under "read more/keep reading")

At the end instead of skirting around it, Dan straight up tells Elise Chris died and, when Chris calls for them, he only calls for Elise as he doesn't know Chris's name.

Any future references to this episode would have Dan refer to himself as if he were there as Dan the whole time (only to Chris), so Chris would not question his "absence" at any point during the event.

Elise: Oh - good to see you again, I guess. What are you doing here?

Solar Flare (SF/Dan): I'm about to make that dinosaur extinct! Again.

Elise: Why don't you go home and let me handle it? (skeptical of his ability after "Technology" episode)

SF: You? Please enlighten me on why you think you can kill it any better than me?

(Lines from "I have a good plan" to "I'm seriously going to consider taking a vacation" is the same, but skip over Elise saying "don't expect to see him [Chris]" straight to Dan saying state fairs are fun in a lighthearted tone)

[After opening floor drain cover]

Elise: Hey, you took us right under where we need to be!

SF: Yep, I'm pretty great. Probably has something to with how often I eat here.

(Dialogue is the same with the exception of Dan being referred to as "Flare" by Elise and SF referring to himself in third person when comparing himself and the dinosaur.)

Elise: "How do you know what Dan is like?"

SF: "He's the reason I was at that tech headquarters in the first place" (referencing Dan Vs. Technology)

[partyhatproject]

how did dan become an agent in the au?

It just sort of happened, probably. He got into the training program as a child when an agent undercover at Camp Atrocious scouted him for his skills and ultimately got his parents to agree to send Dan away for a year or two while they sorted out their divorce.

Dan probably would’ve been sent to another country after training for years in LA (just as Elise had lived in Japan for a time), and upon his return, he reunited with Chris and they stuck together from their HS freshman year onward.

Prior to his brief move away from LA, Dan probably wasn’t as quick to jump to revenge schemes for every little thing that bothered him, but throughout highschool he probably found it to be an appropriate method of getting out his excess energy so he could focus on the ACTUALLY important things in life; that being his missions. That’s also probably why he doesn’t get in trouble as an adult, since he does his job immaculately when people are really depending on him to so long as he isn’t distracted by his own anger.

[partyhatproject]

do dan and elise hate eachother like cannon outside of their spy job or?

Absolutely! They have no idea they work with each other, or else they would have had incentive to be nice lol. While working together, they tend to be snarky or sarcastic to each other, but it’s much more casual and from a place of the job being boring sometimes rather than hating each other - though they always make sure to watch out for the other.

[partyhatproject]

dan vs the family cruise in your au?

This is a good one! I would definitely preface this episode with the fact that Elise and Dan would have a mildly better relationship by this point after Vs. The Ski Trip, however in the way that they both understand and respect that they have their own secrets to keep - (i.e Elise would still lie to Dan about being a fisher, while Dan would substitute his own lie with being, like, an exterminator or something idk)

The episode would start off pretty much the same, with Dan forgetting about the cruise in favor of zombie wrestling and then ending up on it by complete accident.

The differences would start around the first activity but I’ll try to summarize them:

- Dan makes the comment about needing to check in with work, surprising Elise’s parents (because they didn’t know he had a job) and prompting Elise to agree with him

- Dan decides to do the climb out of spite of the rest of the family, reaching the top before Elise and Chris and commenting on them being slow.

-Paintball and the montage stays the same

-In the next scene where Chris brings up Elise calling work and Elise and Elise Sr. Leave, Chris goes “well, it’s just us menfolk, right?” And Dan immediately dismisses himself as well because it’s the right opportunity

-The scene of Elise learning about the gem is split between Dan and both Elise’s. Someone passed by Dan and gives him a briefcase with his uniform and weapons, to which he makes a comment about it being “really creepy, you know that?”. Scene ends with the same “eliminate the competition” dun dun dun thing lmao

- The dinner scene is between Don and Chris alone, but the Captain of the day prize with switched out with something else to prompt Chris to want to win badminton instead of Dan.

-Prep scene include Dan of course, and he meets Elise outside the door to the gem room prior to the arrival of Elise Sr and the fight scene is recreated with Dan involved in the Gem fight while Chris handles Don himself (difference is Dan accidentally rips out the wheel in the fight process and nobody notices until the ship starts veering further off course and they discover the navigation room)

-“MOM??” “Junior?” (Dan) “Elise?!” (Collective) “DAN?!”, following conversation is pretty much the same except Dan doesn’t leave.

-Dan explains the wheel break might’ve been his fault, guide still loses it, rest of the events after this occur pretty much the same

- “I’m the top operative of a shadowy quasi-governmental agency specializing in espionage, arms deals, and assassinations… and apparently Dan is my work partner”

-“ELISE ALREADY GAVE AWAY MY SECRET” - “REALLY, DAN??”

Only difference in the ending of this episode is that the event would occur the same later, just that Dan would use his “psychic ability” to avoid the steering wheel so the ship doesn’t get destroyed in the process again

Note: this would mean that everyone still has their identities revealed in the end, so the story progressing onward would include open conversation about the shadowy government and Dan being an agent as well :)

[partyhatproject]

does dan vs reality tv go differently in your au?

Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately, idk) I can’t imagine this episode going too differently, however instead of an intelligence test, I think they would probably assume Dan to be more athetically challenged than he actually is and give both finalists the physical course instead of a physical and mental course.

Dan, of course, being trained in courses way harder than this, would ace it no problem with the determination of adult space camp.

I imagine him being an agent is like a mindset he has to tap into to perform at max capability on missions but otherwise there’s risk for him doing stupid things. It’s like he has a sensibility meter that he reserves specifically for his job, otherwise most of the episodes probably wouldn’t happen in the first place.

Also I have plans to draw more soon. I’m taking a small break from drawing Dan vs. stuff to work on some other personal projects, but I’d like to keep answering more asks!

[partyhatproject]

is dan in your au as easily beaten by chris as in cannon or? (like in the bank episode or the vs chris episode)

Definitely not as easily, no, but overall I like the idea that both Chris and Dan are equally matched in strength, though neither of them actually appear to be all that intimidating (Dan because of his height, Chris because he’s generally just a very nice person).

Edit for more info: I would think the stakes would also be increased via a more intense fight in Dan Vs. Chris - Chris not going as easily on Dan and Dan using his training to his advantage

I’ve also kinda mulled over the idea that Chris would probably be asked to join Elise and Dan on missions in the future, after their identities have been revealed to each other, but I’d have to clean up the concept a bit to make it make sense :)