Yesterday night I felt sick with my stomach and stayed awake all night making audio recordings to my best friend about watching Quantum of Solace for the first time (I am still finishing it) and then I started randomly talking about 00q and accidentally opened up the Pandora Box of my memories but I instantly remembered everything I ever knew about 00q like when it got adopted by the BBC Sherlock fandom or the Paddington is the new Quartermaster stuff or when everybody was obsessed with the fucking Téméraire and it was EVERYWHERE and everybody made the joke "It's a ship!!!" and the age difference discourse between James and Q and Q being called Quentin and Mycroft and Sherlock being Q older brothers and disapproving of his relationship with James Bond and the fucking tea mugs and so many cats and everybody talking about Q's jumpers and making up OC minions for him and every fanfiction in which James retires to be with Q because he was the only one he ever loved aside from Vesper and Q feeling insecure because of her and all then Madeleine Sawnn came along and everybody was distraught even though the flirting was there in Spectre and we were all distraught because we could have had it all and so many fix it fics so many fics about James cosntantly loosing his gadgets and how hard it was for Q to watch him seduce other people and everybody was saying they were grumpy x sunshine/black cat x Golden retriver coded BUT THEY WERE NOT ACTUALLY in my humble opinion but they were easily flustered x flirting menace and Q had such salty one-liners and everybody believed he was a posh boy and do you remember when years later you had the same museum scene with Hannibal it was clearly a parallel and then there was No Time To Die and Q was officially queer oh my God oh my fucking God it was CANON he TOTALLY CANONICALLY MUST HAVE HAD A CRUSH ON BOND and we saw THE CATS and WHO WAS Q WAITING FOR?????? James must have been jealous but then the movie was what it was and a lot of people hated it and all of the fix it fics in which Bond said his last words to Q because it was always Q it will always be Q and also everybody making up names for him names were such a huge deal Q revealing his name to James in his last moments grieving fics in which James died but you also had silly ones and spicy ones uhhh a lot of those because sometimes you just need to ignore canon and see them happy and maybe both retiring or maybe they kept working flirting over the comms and annoying everyone at MI6 which wasn't exactly Avengers "Everybody Lives in The Tower" au but it was close they weren't a found family per se but some of them were very close there used to be edits on youtube yeah before TikTok came along youtube edits were A ThingTM with all those retrica-looking filters and pop songs or sad love songs and fake trailers who remembers those or like scenes edited to look like they were from a romcom and comments on the scenes written in small usually white text that were meant to reflect the character inner thoughts like "That's hot" or "He's so annoying I need to kiss him" or "BITCH" and fics in which Q was kidnapped and James went berserk and a few years ago Knives Out came out and we tried to to have Bond and Benoit Blanc related do you also remember that?
No Time to Bond the MOST BEAUTIFULLEST Bond movie LORDIE who is this-- Cary Joji Fukunaga! YOU SIR. SIR I AM HOLDING YOUR CAMERA BY THE FACE AND KISSING YOUR STORYBOARDS, ABSOLUTELY STUNNING AND BRILLIANT DIRECTION UGH
What delicious camerwork, what a good movie, YES, THANK YOU SIR
Currently doing more Marion Saville(my oc) x Lyutsifer Safin art.
Power couple- except love isn't really what they have. I don't even think they'd use the term "friend" about each other. They're like each others shadows. And the power structure is not equal and Saville likes it like that. It doesn't offend or threaten him. It's just the way it should be. If Safin wants to be a god, Saville will be his first devotee.
they had to stop making daniel craig bond movies because they remembered that they made him bi in skyfall and they'd have to do something with that eventually
Homesick - domestic fluff about the meaning of home, and Bond finding one again. 00Q. 925 words
Addison
those hands get the best of me - Addison & Q have been close friends for years. When Bond crosses her path again, things go wrong… Angsty hurt/comfort, getting-back-together story. 7,400 words
Let my heart be your shelter - Set a few months later. James and Addison are happily back together, but a lovely date ends quite badly… Angst w/ a happy ending feat. Nomi cameo & a bit of banter. 2,500 words
Cures for Insomnia - Bond’s been having trouble sleeping. Q helps. Getting together fic w/ a bit of smut & guest appearance from Kincade. 2,600 words
On communication, relationships, and moving in. And lamps. - Bond and Q's developing relationship follows an interesting path. They don’t know what they’re doing, but they got the spirit. Fluffy crack fic. 2,600 words
hurt and grieve but don't suffer alone
how the most dangerous thing is to love - James Bond/Q. 5 times Q unintentionally hurt James by triggering memories of Vesper, and one time it was a comfort (the being mean to Bond fic). 5,300 words
how you will heal and you'll rise above - James Bond/Q. The Bond POV version of the above fic - now with more angst! 5,700 words
it's more courageous to overcome - James Bond/Q. Coda to the 5+1’s: comfort snuggles <3 500 words
cats cats cats
Catastrophe - James Bond/Q, MI6 shenanigans fluff. Q has to bring his cats to work & one gets loose, Bond makes it a mission to retrieve it. 3,200 words
Meow Wow Cat Café - Bond has finally convinced Q to go on a date with him. It doesn't go as planned, and Bond has to acquiesce to Q's wishes to cement a second chance. Light fluff! 1,600 words
Wintersong - Bond/Q. Sad, angsty Christmas fic based on Wintersong by Sarah McLachlan, BUT with a happy ending. 2,200 words
I could lie, say I like it like that - Bond and Q have been hooking up on occasion, but it isn't anything more, right? Featuring a bit of angst at the MI6 winter party, and a happy ending. 4,300 words.
Medicine
you’ve got a second chance, you could go home - James Bond/Q. Unrepentant angst set post-Spectre, absolutely disregarding NTTD. Q goes to take care of Bond, no-one really has a good time, feelings are hurt. 1,800 words
you’ve got a warm heart - James Bond/Q. The fix-it that was demanded. Bond takes care of Q. This time it goes better. 5,400 words
Fall Warmth - James Bond/Q fluff. Q had plans for the weekend, but they get derailed. Established relationship, 800 words
Characters : James Bond, M, Q, Nomi, Eve Moneypenny, OFC Tatjana Safin, Lyutsifer Safin, OMC Luc Dupont, OFC Marie Dupont, OMC Matvei & Maksemilian Safin
Relationship : James Bond / Eve Moneypenny, Safin/OFC Character Tatjana
Warning : Lemon🍋, manipulation, death/violence💀, smutish🍑 , Dom!Safin🖤, NON CON⚠️!!
Rating : MA
Gene: Crime / Romance
Summary: James Bond retirement on the Bahamas is calm and peaceful. SPECTRE is defeated, Lyutsifer Safin dead and Bond's substitute family - Tatjana, the twins and Marie - with him. But the circumstances oft the surprised suicide of the chairman from the BREEF ( Bahama Reef Environmental Educational Foundation) brings the former agent back to work.
8. Treasures
"I can't believe you never introduced me to this place!" Felix, his left hand wrapped around a bottle of local beer, nearly pouted.
Bond smiled to himself.
'Kim's' was a special place to him. The place was a bit hidden, mostly frequenced by locals to sit, to drink, having home cooked tasting meal, while a band plays in the back of the bar.
He came always alone to this place, having a bit 'him' time after days with Tatjana, Marie and the boys.
"I'm glad you like it, Felix.", he said and leaned his elbows on the bar. "Try the braised goat sandwich. It's the best."
Before he could say anything more a woman settled on the chair aside him, greeting the owner like a family friend, while ignoring him.
Bond watched her. A local girl. No, a woman. In her thirties, a sportive body, probably a diver.
Her skin was shining by sun and fresh air, alas she looked exhausted.
She got her food without order, so Bond assumed she belonged to the family of the household.
"Can I get you a beer to the dish?", Bond asked her spontaneous.
She looked at him with a confused glance. "Sure. If you have too much money.. be my guest."
Bond smirked by the tone of her voice, bratty as teasing and he bobbed his head to the bar man, who had watched their exchange.
A moment later a bottle was setted in front of her plate.
"Yuh welcome.", Bond spoke in pawtah.
"Tank yuh.", she chuckled.
Bond recognized two things at this moment; she was curious about him, and Felix changed in silence his seat, giving Bond and the girl space.
"Yuh no tourist.", she continue to speak in the jamaican accent.
"Nope. Retired on one of the small islands.", Bond cleared that up and took a sip from his bottle.
"Oh!! I know who you are! The family man!"
Bond coughed at his sip of beer. "What? No!", he gasped out and wiped his mouth. The woman aside him giggled.
'Well, at least I haven't forgotten to make a strange woman laugh', Bond thought to himself. He turned fully to her and focused on her face.
"She is friend. Became a Widow a year ago and she and the boys staid for a while.", he explained.
The woman smiled softly and set her elbow on the bar, and supported her chin on the palm of her hand.
"And now she's gone? Yuh alone?"
Bond looked a moment stunned at her. Eventually he brought out: "Yes. Alone and in need of company."
Behind him he heard Felix ordering another beer and the goat sandwich. The band started another song, slow and sobby.
"Aha. And what would be the duty of this 'companion'?", she chuckled. Her tone wasn't repellent, so Bond was encouraged enough to went on.
"House keeping. Official at least. Free weekends. Having someone around." Bond shrugged and added: "The rest.. well, it depends on sympathy I would say."
"Interesting.", she mumbled.
"Why? Know someone?"
"How is the payment?", she asked frank.
"555000 jamaican dollars per month." Bond answered without hesitating. Behind him he heard Felix gasping. "Plus dinner dates and gifts, when one.. know each other better.", he went on.
The woman narrowed her eyes. "Yuh fukin kiddin?"
Bond shrugged. "One can get really lonely at an island. And I like to share."
A pause expanded between the woman and Bond. He took care not to check her body out, but gazed at her face and her long, chocolate hair, what felt in cascades of waves down her shoulder.
She ate her sandwich in silence, ignoring him for now, but Bond could see her working mind behind her eyes. She had shadows under it, surely from work and worries.
He felt like an arsehole now. Did he tried to bribe her? Buy her? She was certainly offended. He shrugged to himself. She had asked after all.
He turned back from her and looked up to the small telly that was fixed up the ceiling. The local news were on.
"Could we get some volume?", Felix asked the bar man, who obeyed.
[.. found the executive director yesterday evening in his house. The local police assumed a suicide. A week ago Mr. Lambert was accused of payola and suspended of his duty…]
The woman beside Bond snorted a laugh. Bond turned back to her with a rising eye bow.
"What's so funny about suicide?"
"Nutting.", she mumbled and swallowed. Licking her fingers then - a view that was quite enjoyable to Bond - she went on: "My former boss. Tis fuker stuffed his pockets full with the Rolex money."
Bond looked at her with blank face. She sighed.
"No getting no news on ya Island? The reef deal. Rolex spend money for the non-profit reef rescue mission and our director took some." She shook her head and reached out for the rest of her sandwich. "Oldest play in the book. Think is.. Suicide? Him? I rather guess someone went after him." She gave him a dark look. "A lot of people lost their job. Me, for example."
Bond smiled sympaticly. "What did you do at this non-profits company?"
"A lot of stuff. Diving with tourist groups to make sure they don't visit the reefs alone.
" Why? To avoide accidents? ", Bond asked curiously.
She frowned." Nooo! To avoide that this stupid tourists destroy the reef!"
She finished her sandwich and emptied her bottle, before saying: "Can you imagine what happend when out barrier reef dies because of hunting and coral stealing tourists? We will have a famite at hand. Here. In the middle of paradise."
Bond took note of her enthusiasm and seriousness for this subject. He knew already, tonight he would look up everything about the reefs and the company. Maybe only for the sake of having a better conversation ground with her.
"You sounds like a clever woman.", Bond answered, showing how impressed he was of her.
She smiled tiresome and set her empty bottle hard on the bar. Gliding from her chair she muttered: "We'll see about that.", and stretched her hand out, showing Bond her caramel palm.
"Yuh hav a card? A number?", she said. "I call yuh tomorrow, tellin yes or no."
Perplex Bond got his card out and hand it to her.
"Tanks.", she said and turned to walk away.
The bar man eyed Bond critical while polishing some glasses. Bond blinked confused.
Behind him, Felix chuckled. "Well, that was quick. Even for you."
