Bleargh

"I am Pádraic Súilleabháin. And I'm nice." Greetings and salutations, fuckers. My hyperfixation changes every two weeks, so don't expect a consistent theme in my posts. 🌲🍏⚪🌪🖤

[littlenapss]

[allthingswhumpyandangsty]

#know your fandom history

[a-book-of-creatures]

I'm starting all my papers like this from now on

[roswellsoup]

bonus/proof:

we tipped her well dw. best waitress ever 🍒

[sentada]

lowkey i just killed all innocents

[plumbo-gummite]

notice how no one died

[hppjmxrgosg]

"going out to get milk" is a common turn of phrase used to describe a man abandoning his family.

the "milkman" is a common figure in stories depicting a woman's infidelity and adulterous affair.

this implies that the ability to provide milk would both decrease the likelihood of a man abandoning his wife and children, as it would eliminate the need for leaving to get milk AND would secure that man's marriage, as his wife would have no need to seek milk from an extraneous source.

therefore, all men should produce milk, through various means such as:

- being a cow

- being an almond

- being a woman

- being a coconut

- being in the omegaverse

- being an oat

(list is exemplary and not finite)

in this essay, i will redefine the nuclear family and explain the seductive and inflammatory nature of the 1993 "Got Milk?" commercials.

[hppjmxrgosg]

you shut your mouth.

[tartrazeen]

Agreed. 5k post to me 😶

[ponett]

you just don't get shit like this with 8-episode streaming seasons

[puthy]

how you can tell the post is really bad

[serial-unaliver-deactivated2024]

tumblr version of "you sir have won the internet. have an updoot"

[barbeloth]

man come on

[teaboot]

I think that if you had enough daughters AND played your cards right you could spring Mambo Number Five out at the EXACT right gathering and shatter your entire family's trust forever

[teaboot]

The secret is to name them out of order with the lyrics so by the time anyone catches on it's too late

[teaboot]

For me personally the ideal gathering would be my funeral

[teaboot]

A little bit for Monica, she's my wife

A little bit for Erica, for her strife

My books all go to Rita, cause she reads

My greenhouse goes to Tina, she plants trees

The furniture is Sandra's, on my lawn

Jewelry for Mary, she can pawn

Ashes go to Jessica, that's my plan

A little bit of me inside a can (ah!)

[emperornero]

im afraid i will start to quote this randomly outloud

[smoqueen-deactivated20251108]

We can improve our blowjobs.With artificial intelligence and machine learning

[mosslingg]

My liege im sorry to break it to you but your advisor that's actually evil and wants you dead turned out to be straight. I know you really wanted to have an enemies to lovers situation with him. Yeah I'm afraid the poisoning didn't hold any romantic intent behind it. The king of the enemy kingdom is bisexual though, I could send him a letter? Yes, I'll make sure to include multiple threats of homoerotic nature. You will have your toxic yaoi, my liege

[shetheyslain]

Dahling you simply must read this book! It’s all about this devious little caterpillar who simply gorges himself on all manner of divine things

[kunosoura]

I think it’s normal for people to be mad at each other sometimes even if they’re close friends or family or intimate with each other. Like I think that’s a normal and healthy part of relationships that can happen sometimes

[kunosoura]

“Why were you on Mad At Me island” because at the time I was mad at you and yet our friendship has weathered that without trouble

[tiredragedemon]

I went to Mad At You island because my feelings are my problem. I needed to stomp down the beach until I could sit and watch the sunrise. I built a sandcastle and did some thinking. Then I boarded the good ship You Matter To Me and sailed it all the way to meet you on the Let’s Talk Shore of I Love You Island.

[mechaniaa]

i had to

[loganthrives]

Yasmin Benoit is a writer and asexual activist, btw. She often gets a lot of shit for dressing 'sexy' and people trying to say she's not valid as an asexual person for it, but she is 1000% valid AF and an ace icon. She's a model and enjoys clothes and outfits that are body affirming for her and feel good to her to be in, it is not sexy or 'trashy' to dress how you like to dress, nor is it her responsibility if other people find her sexually attractive. She's just living her best life and I freaking love that for her.

Also regular reminders that:

Black people can be asexual and are 1000% valid AF (racism + fetishization makes this necessary to point out)

People you find sexually attractive can be asexual and are 1000% valid for it

No one is required to indulge any sexual attraction you have for them regardless of your sexuality or theirs

Asexual people can and do have sex - there are asexual sex workers y'know & ace folks in partnerships with children

Asexual people who are sex repulsed and do not have sex are just as valid as aces who are sex favourable or indifferent

Allosexual people who are sex repulsed are also valid and it doesn't mean they're asexual by default. Attraction and action are two different things

Asexuality is a whole ass spectrum of identities and belongs under the LGBTQ+ umbrella

[hopeless-eccentric]

humiliating to be attracted to a conventionally attractive person. I thought I was a more sensitive and refined pervert than this

[hawkinsbnbg]

[darkandstormydolls]

I was talking to my mom about John Green today and I mentioned that “he’s still on tumblr” and she asked why that would be weird and I said that no one is on tumblr these days, “except him and I guess me”

So

I don’t know what all of you guys are doing here, because clearly this website is occupied only by me and John Green

[sizzlingsandwichperfection-blog]

just the two of us / we can make it if we try.