Darius Gray is an African-American pioneer in the LDS church. One thing not well known about him is that he believes the church needs to accept LGBT individuals, and that includes our loving relationships. In regards to us, he sees an equivalence with the church pre-1978 in relation to its members of African descent and how they couldn’t be full members.
Darius attended a breakout session of the 2019 Affirmation conference that was for LGBT people who are still active members or who still believe in the LDS Church. In this session, someone asked how others answer the question as to why they’re still involved in a church that is so clearly homophobic.
I answered that I speak the spiritual language of this church, it helps me connect with the Divine, I’m better for all the service I’m asked to give, and it’s where I think God wants me right now. I do disagree with the church on LGBT topics, but I had a strong impression God wants me here.
I was serving as the stake young men president when the 2015 Policy of Exclusion came out and I was so angry. “God, why did you tell me to be here when this church clearly does NOT want someone like me here?!!” I was ready to walk away, but God let me know to stay.
Shortly after that, my stake president told me he had an extremely strong impression he should make the stake executive secretary, that my unique views were needed in higher councils of the church. When general authorities come to town, they meet with leaders, which keeps them in something of a bubble, but now they bump into me, a gay man. I don’t always bring up my orientation except when it seems relevant or impressed to.
Some of these general authorities have corresponded with me, invited me to meet with them at their office in Utah. And in my opinion, some have softened from hearing my story and knowing me.
I sat down and Darius Gray stood and thanked me. Darius said that what I’m doing is pioneering work. It reminds him that church leaders in the 1950′s & 1960′s usually traveled by train, and they’d find on board black families who are members. They’d interact with these families during their trips and find they did not fit the stereotypes they had believed. They saw their faith, their longing for full membership, heard the good works they do. Hearts & attitude changed from such interactions.
I did not expect such a reaction to my comments, especially from Darius Gray. The thing is, meeting General Authorities isn’t really that meaningful to me, I mean, it’s sort of cool, I suppose, but I don’t seek them out. It just happens as a result of my calling, and only a few times per year. What matters to me are the teens and twenty-something LGBT people who need someone to talk with who find me. Of the things God told me I should accomplish before stepping aside from the church, general authorities are not on that list.
