Uk that scene where Dennis hurts his finger in season one. That but Dennis whining like the hurt little puppy he is and Robby hearing that sound and being so obsessed with it like I need to fuck that puppy right now but I’m his boss so I’m just gonna “subtly” hurt him so I can keep hearing that sweet noise
this is funny because when i’m sick (like i am now) im literally so whiny. i just randomly whimper/whine. like i think it’s a verbal stim thing but also just a feeling miserable thing lol.
it was wrong. it was so wrong.
michael’s always been a bit of a sadist. he was fascinated by blood, gore, pain. every doctor was a little bit.
he usually got through his day without that part coming out too much. he was usually empathetic, not wanting anyone to feel a shred of discomfort. but dennis…
he suffered beautifully. audibly. pathetically.
it started with the yelp he made when he fucked up the transfer and it’s spiraled from there. robby needed to hear that noise again and again.
robby could scruff him hard, drag him by the wrist roughly, hip check him on the way to a trauma into a wall. but it never reproduced the same noise.
this is the first time he’s ever thought this sentiment, but thank god for myrna. she rolled over dennis’s foot and he whimpered loud enough for the hub to all look over.
his puppy dog eyes got big and wet. robby herded him into an empty bay. this was everything robby had been dreaming of. he was alone with a writhing, loud dennis.
samira or santos or donnie could’ve done the exam. it didn’t really make sense for robby to stop everything to palpate an intern’s foot. he wasn’t looking at dennis’s bruises as he pressed them to “assess if there was a break,” he was watching dennis’s face twist up, he was listening to those high pitch whines that had been playing over and over in his head.
robby would wait for this to heal. he wasn’t a monster. but maybe he could drop something on the other foot in a week or two. the boy would just think it was his bad luck. such an accident prone puppy.
Dark stepdad Robby touching you while you’re watching a movie with your mother so you can’t protest without her finding out what you’ve been doing with her husband
“You know I can’t do that, Starshine. You’re sick.”
“Robby-“
“Hush.”
——-
Jack was proudly part of a local leather community. Boasted about it every game night and doggedly decided to drag Robby to something called a dungeon party. Reluctant to go, Robby finally agreed just to shut him up so he could watch the Steelers lose in peace.
‘You’re too much in your head and I have the cure. Get a feel for it, brother. Let loose.’
True to his word that week Robby found himself in a dungeon party. Alone. Jack had ditched him the moment they stepped in. Stating something about bears being solitary hunters. Whatever the hell that meant.
Needless to say it was awkward, not something he could see himself jiving with. Too many rules. Too many bodies, too much sweat, weird sounds, and even weirder smells. Not enough beer.
Then he met ‘Ken’. Someone he’d never pursue in the daylight. Too young. Too pretty. Too tall.
But something slotted into place as those too blue eyes bore into him. For the first time in a very-very-long time, Robby was having fun. Fun that entailed skilled lips around his dick and wet electric eyes staring up at him.
Let loose indeed.
He started going more to these ‘parties’ just to try to catch Ken. Even going without Jack. The more he went, the more they played together, the more Robby found other things that wouldn’t work out in the long run with Ken. Too energetic. Too much of a brat. Hair too perfect. Still too fucking pretty.
Against his better judgement he tried to needle any information he could. Everything he knew was surface level. The fact Ken licked his lips when nervous. How his nose scrunched up before orgasming. Praise lit him up but humiliation burnt him down and put him in line.
Three months in he finally got Ken to agree to coffee. It was different seeing him in regular clothing. A good different. He looked softer. He was still loud. Still a brat. But there was something else. He wore beaded bracelets and told dorky jokes. He liked Frappuccinos but thought donuts were too sweet. He was a med student and smiled bright-blindingly so-when Robby mentioned the MD tacked to his own name.
While Ken was pretty and sensual under him in the dungeon, there in the light he was goofy, yet beautiful. A beauty that had nothing to do with his looks. Robby wanted to soak up every drop. To bathe in it.
Eventually coffees turned to dinners and he learned his real name-Frank. It fit. Settled around his mouth, around his thoughts, better than Ken. When asked how he came up with the pseudonym, a pretty blush bloomed. A smile so shy Robby catalogued it. He wanted to see it on him more. Apparently another student with a mean bite gave him the moniker Medboy Ken. Robby still didn’t understand. Frank had to actually say the name Barbie for him to connect the dots. Blush deepening. Robby wondered how he’d look in Barbie pink, and decided he’d like to find out.
During pillow talk one night Frank opened up even more. Split himself open so gorgeously for Robby. Talking about how he was thinking of getting into Sports Medicine because he loved hockey so much. Too much, he hurt his back trying to go pro. Back pain that lead to pills. Pills that lead to other drugs. Words coming out fast. Eyes unable to meet his.
Finally there was the baggage. The black mark he’d been looking for and it was labeled addict. Robby gladly took it. Placed it among the other tidbits he scraped up, slowly putting together the picture of Frank. Besides who was he to judge? He had a damn U-haul full of baggage. He wrung another orgasm out of him; a reward for his honesty.
But the reveal festered. Robby knows addicts. He knows relapse is real. Frank even admitted he’s done that dance already. How he struggles and the scenes help. How he never had a support system. First in his family to go to college, but they cut off all contact when they found out about his sexuality. And everyone at school was cut throat looking for any sign of weakness. Hard to make friends. He even tried some NA meetings but they didn’t seem to stick.
It hadn’t been so much an if he relapsed but a when. So it was no surprise when Robby finds Frank a few months after the teary confession in a back room at the dungeon, eyes blown, giggling, and loose. What is a surprise is some second-rate dom who’s licking coke off a throat that belonged to Robby. Hot liquid floods through him. He doesn’t remember what happened; he just comes back to himself half carrying Frank out the back with throbbing bloody knuckles. Leaving the dungeon for good.
He settles him in the passenger seat of an old Bronco Jack and him restored a few years ago. Pushing sweat soaked bangs away from a delicate face, to stare into glassy blue-too fucking blue-eyes. He doesn’t blame Frank. For the drugs or for the other man. Relapse for someone like him was inevitable. And they’ve never fully defined what they were. Robby’s mistake and he would remedy that. He pulled a collar from his glove box. It’s been sitting there for a while, waiting for the right time. Tonight was perfect.
“m sorry, Robby, had a bad day. Reeeaal bad. ‘s good now though, like cotton candy.” Frank smiles, bright and brittle. “Sweeter.”
Robby nods as if he understands and kisses him. Easily looping the collar around that tantalizing neck. “It’s okay Frankie. I’m here.”
He has a room already laid out for him back home. Sound proof, keypad lock on the outside, a working sink and toilet. It only took him a few weeks to get it ready. Because Robby knows addicts, and he’s also a damn good doctor. He would fix this one. Because this one was his. Even if he had to control every aspect of Frank’s life he would make that sacrifice. Because that’s what love was. Being there for him, supporting him. Healing him.
Frank wouldn’t see it that way at first. It would be a hard learning curve. But his boy would adapt. He was bright. Brighter than a dying star.
Toxic Robby, carefully grooming Frank over the years. It's not sexual, not yet, not until Frank is no longer a resident, Robby likes to believe he still has some morals, but carefully grooming Frank to follow him, depend on him, listen to him. There's nothing outwardly sinister, and in fact, when Robby started, it was pure. He was following in Adamson's footsteps the best he could, and he was going to be a mentor to Frank.
But somewhere along the way, it became darker, twisted. It went from wanting to uphold Adamson's ideas to wanting Frank, only Frank. Frank, who was sweet and awkward and good, in his marriage to Abby, and in the love for his kids, despite being a crappy husband and a mostly absent dad, thanks to his residency. Robby knew Frank loved his kids and would show up for them as much as he was allowed with his job.
Robby never begrudged Frank being a father; in fact, that was part of who Frank was and the softness made Robby melt. Tanner and Penny were just like Frank, tiny little perfect Franks, but Robby would love them even if they were little Abby's because Frank loved them.
But they weren't.
PittFest happens, and Robby is broken and furious, and quickly replaces Frank with Dennis. Sweet Dennis. Who would never be what Frank was, could never feel that space. Dennis was going to be who Frank was supposed to be. His mentee, his heir, his golden child, the future of the Pitt.
Robby cuts Frank off for ten months, but checks in on Abby, Abby, who is struggling with the divorce and two tiny children who are too much like Frank all of a sudden, and stressed and overworked. Robby's not doing it to help Abby, he's doing it for Tanner and Penny. To keep an eye on them, to keep them safe.
They are a part of Frank. A man, no matter how much Robby pushes away, will die unable to let his boy go.
There is too much going on in Robby's head, too much anger, love, need, want, guilt, when he finally sees Frank again. He pushes, unable to handle it all, and he pushes Frank to the edge and off. He knows this when Frank tries to leave without talking to him. Frank was never that cold with Robby, could never be that cold.
"You need help. Robby. You need help."
And something blooms in Robby, something dangerously close to hope because all Frank saw was him. Because Frank and Robby were the same, something Robby knew in his bones. Frank would never be able to truly let Robby go.
Robby leaves for sabbatical, but he doesn't go on his trip. He spends three months preparing. Moving and shifting things, painting walls and buying beds and kids' toys. He stocks up on kids' books and moves things around to make room for Frank's clothes in his closet. He looks up new preschools and kindergartens, and spends three months getting everything perfect.
He would never be able to let Frank go, their children go, and he was never planning to. He was, however, planning to bring his family home.
Tags: hucklerobby - dead dove - murder - manipulation - killer Dennis - death obsession - enabler Robby - suic*al Robby
The first time Dennis sees someone die he’s six years old and his Gammy is sick. Mama tells him to say goodbye, leaving him alone in her room that smells wrong and Gammy’s sleeping.
He doesn’t say goodbye just stares, fascinated, as she opens her eyes, grabs his hand, and makes a noise with her mouth that he’ll later come to know as a death rattle.
Mama doesn’t come get him for a long time but he doesn’t let go of Gammy’s hand.
The second time he sees someone die it’s in a tent outside the Grocer Way, hanging half out breathing heavy as he stares his heart beating faster.
There’s blood this time, just a little, coming from the man’s mouth. He’s nine years old, walking up to the store with his allowance for a bag of chips.
Later he’ll eat the chips and tell Mom he got fruit snacks.
Then the third time.
His favorite.
The reason why he becomes a doctor.
He’s fifteen, kissing Tommy Melton in the bar trying not to make noise, and his brother walks in.
Henry yells and calls them slurs, hitting him till he’s dizzy with pain, and then he doesn’t look where he’s going and trips.
The pitchfork is in the wrong place at the right time, and lands right between his big brother’s eyes.
Dennis watches him die in tears, his face hurting, and then lays down pretending he’s not awake when his parents find the mess the next morning. They ask what happened and he just says, “I don’t remember.”
But he does.
He remembers so much he knows he wants to be near death even more.
He goes to theology school, but all he can think about is wanting to see it again. Mom and Dad are upset when he changes his major, cut him off, and yet later as he’s sleeping in alleys and parks he doesn’t care.
It’s easier then to see more people die.
So many, all the time, and when he’s working on cadavers his fascination gets worse.
He keeps it in when Trinity lets him stay, watches horror movies maybe a little too much but she just thinks it’s funny.
Then, that day happens.
Robby is in Pedes, his face covered in tears, and Dennis gives him hope.
Yet every day after he has a new fascination.
Robby.
Robby, who’s slowly breaking, a living corpse.
Robby who is so pretty when he cries Dennis thinks about it when he’s touching himself, wondering if he could make him cry for other reasons, Robby, who is one step away from death but Dennis doesn’t want him to die.
It’s inevitable that he follows Robby home from his last shift that night, the house sitting convenient.
Robby starts to talk, slightly less sad but still rotting, and Dennis talks him into staying till morning.
They watch a horror movie, something gory but he doesn’t pay much attention, and then he’s in Robby’s lap reaching for his jeans. “Whitaker….”
“Let me make you feel good.”
Robby is so weak and Dennis wants to keep him, so it’s not hard.
They’re at it all night, everything and anything, and Dennis says, “Stay.”
Robby says, “Ok.”
Dennis watches him swallow up the attention he gives him like a starving animal, smiles and sex a lethal combination.
Three months in secret he’s Robby’s, and even though that one step from death gets further away he wants to be. It scares him how much his plan backfired.
He tries his best to be normal, stop pushing needles in a little too hard or cutting with a bit too much glee hoping for a death rattle.
Robby goes to a therapist, starts to take medication, and tells Dennis he loves him two days before he’s ready to come back to work.
Dennis says it back, though he’s not sure he means it fully yet does want Robby and wants to keep Robby forever.
That’s why he’s trying so hard.
Then he makes a mistake.
Trinity asks him to go out, just them two, and he says yes buy heads home early.
Robby is staying over at Abbot’s place, telling him, “Bring Santos by and have a movie night” but instead he pulls into the gas station hungry for something sweet.
There’s a man there, eyeing him, and a buzzing fills his ears.
Robby won’t know.
Just this once he can indulge.
Dennis smirks, cocks his head, and gets some chips and veggie straws, looking back again to the guy who winks.
It’s ok.
It’ll be quick.
He just wants to hear his rattle.
Dennis waits outside, tapping his foot, and the guy comes out on a motorcycle.
It looks just like Robby’s from a distance.
They drive, and he knows it’s a terrible idea to bring him back to Robby’s but he does.
“So…..”
Dennis gets pushed against the wall, his kiss tasting like ash, and the fall to the couch.
“Slow down, I….I’ll get a condom,” he says, “Just stay here.”
The guy grins. “Whatever you say, sweetheart.”
Dennis heads to the bedroom, grabs a condom, and then detours to grab a knife.
“This is a nice place you…. "
He tosses the condom down and straddles the guy, thankful for the comforter under them.
“Hey there, you—"
It’s the best he’s ever seen.
The blood, the fear, the rattle.
Then, the door opens. “Oh.”
Dennis turns, eyes wide, and Robby won’t look at him. “It’s—"
He’s gone so fast Dennis can’t even tell his name and he calls and calls.
No answer.
Dennis screams, tossing the knife.
It wasn’t I was supposed to be this way.
No one was supposed to know.
But now he desperately wants Robby to know.
Dennis calls Abbot who also doesn’t answer, pacing, and shuts down knowing he can’t call Trinity.
She’s gonna hate him too.
How much time passes he doesn’t know, but then Robby is there, and his shocked, “Oh, Den,” has him shaking as he’s carried to the tub.
Dennis wakes up with Robby next to him, kissing and grinding his hip, and Robby pins him down with a sigh. “Hey, hey…”
“I’d never…..”
Robby looks so tired. “Why?”
“I wanted to hear his rattle.”
Then he tells him everything: about Gammy and his brother and how much he likes it and how he wanted him because he felt like he was always close to a rattle but now he wants him to never have one and he’s sobbing, holding him tight, and Robby laughs. “You really do love me.”
Dennis nods. “I do, I do, I—-"
Robby who kisses him then, whispers how much he knew Dennis was different, how he’d notice him focusing a bit too much on patients close to death.
How he saw him trying too hard sometimes and didn’t want him to anymore.
“You’re different, baby,” he whispers, “But I love you anyway. Don’t hide from me and no more of this.”
“Ok. N—"
Robby kisses his forehead. “I’ll help you. Don’t do it alone.”
“Where—-"
“The bike is in the garage and the body is gone. Don’t worry.”
Dennis is in tears as he buries his face into Robby’s neck. “Ok.”
After that, Dennis hears all the rattles.
Robby gives him a patient or two near death, even hovers sometimes when he’s closing up a body and whispers in his ear, “You like that?”
Dennis nods, aching, and those nights at home he’s the loudest, telling Robby how much he loves him, how lucky he is, and Robby cums so hard when he bites his neck he does it harder the next time to taste his blood.
“See?” he says, holding him tight in the dark, “See how much I love you?”
Dennis is in tears always, so happy, and whispers, “Not as much as I love you.”
He lays his head on Robby’s chest then, listening to him breathe.
Toxic Robby who tried to be careful for so long when it came to Frank. Who tried not to show his boy the darkest parts of himself, who was careful not to touch too much, careful not to let Frank get too close, not because Robby was worried he would get hurt but because once he let Frank in, he would never let him go.
Toxic Robby who was so careful until Frank’s fall from grace, since Robby found out about the drugs and the stealing. Robby who has spent ten months being furious with Frank, yes because the drugs and the stealing but also because Robby had been so careful not to ruin Frank, and Frank still ended up ruined, by his own hand, not Robby’s.
Toxic Robby who was brutal Frank’s first day back and Robby’s last day before going on sabbatical, tearing Frank down and offering little praises. Who then spends three months known Frank is right, but also reconciling with dark part of himself that knows he needs Frank more.
That he’s not complete without Frank.
Toxic Robby who know longer cars about ruining Frank, of destroying his future because Frank’s future is with Robby. Will always be with Robby. They’re soul mates, tied and strangled together by the same bloody red string of fate.
Robby who takes too long to realise the sick and twisted thing inside of him is actually love. Love he didn’t know he could have, could give. He wants everything Frank will give him, his smiles, his laughs. He wants the arguments and the make ups, lazy mornings and dull domesticity. He wants Frank, wants Tanner, and Penny, and the next baby Doe that needs a family, that needs love.
Toxic Robby who comes back to the Pitt determined to get that life he talked about with Samira, and is determined to have it with Frank, and will do anything to make it happen. Anything.
