Rabid Fannibal fanfic writer who is kinda addicted to Hannigram AUs. Currently playing with just about every idea that pops in my head. Posts Hannibal, horror, and occasionally my kitty. Current hyperfixation: Hucklerobby & Hannigram & BloodyMary /header by awildcreature
tags: basic chickens, Adam isn't nice about Elias's looks, past trauma, post attempted murder, pre-slash, first kiss, strangers to future fuck buddies
Adam didn't want to himself anymore.
It had taken him countless months of therapy to realize this, though he was not bloody stupid enough to tell his therapist this revelation, and when he abruptly canceled all future sessions it felt freeing.
Though canceling everything else felt a little frightening.
"You can't quit, Towers," his boss at the Gazette said, "We need you. You're the only consistent....how much do you need? I can give you anything just name the price."
He started emptying his desk, shaking at how close Mr. Harrison "Harry" was.
It had been eight months since he survived being strangled by a madman and he could hardly stand to be near anyone let alone touched.
"None."
"Adam---"
Harry grabbed his arm and he yelled, slapping the hand back, and then threw down his box.
"Fuck it," he said, his voice shaking, "I don't need any of this. Goodbye Harry."
"ADAM WAIT!"
He ran, heart pounding, and was nearly at the lift feeling eyes on him when Harry grabbed his arm again making Adam scream so loudly the man's eyes were wide.
"Adam?"
Adam could hardly see through his tears.
He was crying like a fucking child.
How humiliating.
"Get....away....from.....me."
"I'm sorry, Ad....Towers. I....I didn't know you....you hardly ever come in and you didn't....your columns have been fine I...."
Adam felt a tear fall down his cheek. "They were fine, Harry, but they were all fucking lies. I haven't been fucked since that monster tried to kill me and I....I can't do a series about sex when sex makes me sick. So....I'm not your golden boy anymore. I....."
The elevator doors opened and he stepped inside as Harry held the door.
"Ok, then....write about that."
"What?"
Harry stared at him with an odd sincerity. "Write about being scared and how you're dealing with it," he stepped into the lift despite Adam's attempts to stop him, and the doors closed before he could, "Write about whatever you damn well want, Towers. People love you. I don't fucking care what you write about, I just want you to write."
Adam let out a long breath. "I don't want those photographers outside my place again, Harry. They just fucking stopped and now....." "
"Then go on holiday, hell...." the doors opened and Harry turned to yell at the people waiting, "USE ANOTHER ONE!" which they all didn't move as the doors closed again before he looked to Adam, "Move away I don't care. I....you know I have a friend who occasionally holidays in Denmark. He has a place, it's not in season you can stay for as long as you'd like. I'll call him."
The doors opened again and Adam stared at Harry, tears blurring his vision. "You're horrible for being so nice to me," he wiped his eyes, feeling his cheeks redden, "You know I hate that."
Harry laughed. "Yes, I know," he stepped off with him then, walking Adam across the front, and he even kept the passersby away from him making Adam feel that much more pathetic as he stopped at his car, holding out his hand, "Give me your phone."
"Harry, you're a married man," he teased, his heart not quite in it.
The soft smile he got in return made Adam ache. "I am, which is why I need to live through you, Towers. Give."
Adam did, watching him type, and then he didn't even try to brush their hands together giving the phone back. "My friend is Hunter, and I'll call him and he'll have someone waiting to give you the keys to his place whenever you're ready to go. It's far, far, away, and you can make a column of it?"
He sighed. "Of course you want that."
"Adam...."
"Fine."
"Good luck Towers."
He didn't feel very lucky then, not even now nearly two weeks later sitting in a coffee shop in Copenhagen. This was a beautiful place, and the people were all quite lovely, but he still felt like his skin crawled when he had men look at him with more than a friendly smile and his body felt like a dead bloody fish.
Adam sipped his drink with a sigh, getting up, and was ready to rush off when he spotted a woman throwing a drink in someone's face.
It made him grin as he took a look, sneaking to see who'd earned the drink thrown, and stopped short when the woman rushed off only for the man to come into view.
The man at the table with a sour expression was quite possibly the ugliest creature Adam had ever laid eyes on. He looked like a reject from the seventies, right down to his horrid moustache, and while there could have been a decent bloke under there the harelip did not help.
He seemed to notice Adam then and his lip quivered as he threw down money before coming up to Adam with angry intent.
Adam froze, heart pounding, and when he was grabbed by the shirt front he did the worst possible thing.
He burst into tears.
The ugly man's expression softened and he heard, "....crying seems very excessive I did not even slap you, please stop it's embarrassing for you," and let out a laugh.
He could not stop laughing then, chest heaving from the guffaws, and the man stared at him like he'd grown seven heads.
"Why are you laughing? I don't find this very funny at all."
That only made Adam laugh more, grabbing the man's arm, and it took him far too long to realize that while he'd been utterly terrified by the ugly man's approach earlier now he wasn't even scared at all.
Not like he'd been for so long.
Adam's laughter faded.
"Oh bloody hell."
The ugly man folded his arms. "What? Are....is this a British thing? Do British people laugh at inappropriate...."
Adam grabbed hold of his shirt then, pulling hard, and kissed him.
A shocked gasp came as their lips met, and there was no reciprocation only tight lips enough he went to pull away.
Then the lips grew bold, almost too eager, and it was very much the worst kiss he'd ever gotten in his entire life yet his body was aching mad in seconds.
"Um, sirs? You're going to have to...."
He stepped back, panting, and stared at this ugly, horrid man who looked just as shocked as he felt.
"Leave?" Adam asked breathlessly, grabbing his hand, "Yes, we were just about to."
The ugly man sputtered, "No, we were not!" but he did not let go, not even as Adam kept walking, and when they were nearly a block off he then pulled his hand back like he'd been burned.
"Ok, Darling, this is going to sound...."
"I am not a homosexual," the man said, his voice shaking, "I....am a very handsome man who likes women and...all their women parts and...."
Adam let out a laugh, mouth covered, and the ugly man just folded his arms pouting in an adorable way. "You're laughing again. You...." he blushed then, looking down, "Are too good looking to laugh so much....for a man," he added, eyes wide, "I am not into men sexually so I merely meant...."
He looked this ugly, curly haired man up and down, noticing the very obvious tent in his trousers. "Oh," he stepped closer, "Darling are you hiding a monster in there?"
"Do not look there! I....have a condition! I...."
The sudden urge to get down on his knees and worship whatever giant this man had in his trousers made him ache.
"I haven't touched anyone in almost nine months, Darling," he said, tearing up again as he got closer, making the strange man back up but not run until they were in an alley brick behind them, "I....was nearly strangled to death by a man who came to fuck me and....touching you just now is the first time I've not wanted to scream for fear a stranger might touch me and....oh this is going to sound so bloody desperate but can I bring you to the house I'm staying in and help you with your....very obvious problem?"
The ugly man frowned and reached out to pull back Adam's shirt, the scars still there prominent. "You're hurt?"
He squeezed the shirt together. "It doesn't hurt it's just a scar, I....you know, this is....nevermind."
Adam rushed off, feeling sick for being so pathetic as to beg the world's ugliest man to let him suck on his cock for a few hours. He got barely a few steps when he was grabbed, gasping till he saw it was the man.
"Elias," the ugly man said, squeezing, "My name is Elias and....you are?"
"Adam," he said, barely able to see through his tears, "I.....I'm sorry I didn't...."
"I will let you have sexual intercourse with me," Elias said, making Adam smile, "And...whatever else you'd like I.....I am in Copenhagen for work for the week and then I go home but.....as long as you know I am not into men usually and this is just because you're pathetic and oddly pretty. Not because I am attracted to you."
Adam laughed. "Oh, of course, D....Elias. I wouldn't think of it. I....you are obviously so irresistible that my terror just ended because of your stunning good looks."
Elias beamed and blushed again.
"Yes, of course that's what it was, Adam. Obviously."
He stepped back, dangling keys. "You have a ride?"
Elias shook his head. "No, I have been walking it's very good for exercise and....that woman I met was someone from a dating application who I had hoped to have intercourse with, so I sincerely hope you're very good at it."
Adam grinned. "I'm a bit rusty, Darling, but I promise, I'm very good."
"We'll see I suppose."
Adam shot a look at Elias, staring off at the people passing by, and knew quite heartily that this man had never been kissed, fucked, or sucked.
Elias wouldn't be his first virgin, far from it, nor his first ugly one.
But Elias was the first to allow him a pity fuck and not the other way around.
Perhaps this one night would stop him from being so goddamn terrified of everyone and everything, and the beautiful Danes could flock into his waiting bed.
Sharing Hannictober prompts! Posting early so you can start prepping now. As always: do one, do a few, do them all, art, writing, media, do them early, do them late, do them out of order … just have fun and be creative. You do not have to stick to Hannigram, HEU and other pairings are welcome! I’ll add the AO3 collection closer to Oct.
I just want you to know that your fanfictions are one of the things that helps me feel better. Even when they are angsty I can always count on you to make sure it ends well.
Adam is holding Nigel's hand and looking down at it. It takes a minute for Nigel to notice he's thinking.
"What are you thinking about sweetheart?"
"Your hand is much bigger than mine."
"That it is." He smiles.
"I wonder how they would feel around my neck," Adam says, unaffected. He continues to walk, until he is stopped by the fact that his boyfriend stopped in his tracks.
Nigel just stares at him
"Ni? Are you ok?"
Nigel smiles again, "More than ok gorgeous. Just unexpected was all." He kisses Adam sweetly. He only slightly pulls away. "Wouldn't have guessed you had a thing for choking."
"Oh. Yeah, I do. But it's more anything about your hands. That was just the first thing I thought of."
Nigel touches his face softly. "Well angel, my hands will give you anything you want."
you'll get the urge as an artist or a writer to say out loud the things you're worried about "the proportions are off" "kind of out of character" "i'm not good at summaries" "didn't get as much detail as i wanted" "i made a mistake and here's how" and that's the self-conscious part of your brain telling you "it's bad and if you don't tell them you know it's bad then they'll think you're stupid" but you've got to ignore that little voice and pretend you think it's good or else that little voice is going to ruin your life
Some of the best advice I have ever gotten was from a creative writing professor. She said never apologize for your work. Never critique it before someone else does.
Her reasoning was you are the creator. You made your work from nothing and can see all the flaws and seems and holes. But your audience may not see any of it. Maybe they will; maybe they won't. But if you TELL them about the holes and the mistakes and the problems....they will 100% see them. So don't tell them. Don't sabotage yourself just because you think you're not good enough.
loveeee characters who think they're likable but not lovable. characters who know they have surface-level admirable or alluring traits and so make sure to highlight those traits so that nobody looks closer to see what's underneath. characters who know they're hot or clever or cool and use that as a suit of armor so that no one ever gets close to them, because when they strip bare and show their vulnerability they're not any of those things, which means they have nothing left to make up for who they inherently are
"I miss you more than I remember you" but it doesn't work for Will Graham.
He remembers Hannibal with every single detail. The way the firelight caught in his eyes when they were planning to leave. The curve of his fond smile looking at him. How their first shared breakfast tasted, the exact way he arranged his dinner table, the turn and twist of his blade in his flesh.
He remembers Hannibal, not the doctor but the brother. He remembers Mischa's Hannibal probably, without even seeing him. He remembers the echo of Hannibal's step in the hallways of his childhood manor, and the movements of his hands drawing Primavera on a sketchpad when he was a young man. He remembers every single thought and design Hannibal ever created in his mind for his victims, the way he arranged bandages on his knuckles, and probably Hannibal's favorite lines from his favorite books.
Not even time and no amount of blood can make Will Graham miss Hannibal more than he remembers him.
andulkaphoto
discoholicmusic
ellievsbear
germansingergirl
stormborns
pixelskylines
