Run as Fast as You Can - Thomas Shelby x Fem!Reader
summary: in which y/n realizes thomas shelby is not the man she thought he was
warnings: alcohol consumption, cursing, gun use, domestic violence, yelling, abuse. just really dark.
-> peaky blinders masterlist
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she loved tommy, she really did.
but, sometimes, she remembered all the warnings about him.
"thomas? that man's crazy!" the parlor-lady said.
"shelby! sweetheart, you're barely drinking age! what the hell are you doing with a grown-man?" her mother shamed.
"thomas shelby? run as fast as you can." the shop lady warned.
she was 21, so of course she ignored their stupid warnings. they were stupid, after all. to her, tommy was kind, he was smart, and he was caring. he wasn't the big bad guy everyone had made him out to be. why was a man dictated by the ideas everyone had of him instead of who he was?
y/n and tommy had met at a bar in london. y/n was working, and he was buying. they hit it off. why wouldn't they? she was young, ambitious, wide-eyed, kind, and excited. of course, he'd like her.
the first three months, everything was perfect. he was so gentle with her. he never yelled or got angry. he always brought her flowers. they were always flirting. she would often go to his office and just sit with him while he did hours of work.
but after the three month mark, y/n realized she should've listened to all of the warnings. she should've never, ever, messed around with thomas fucking shelby.
now, every disagreement they had came back to their age.
he'd say, over and over again.
"you don't know these people like i do."
"you're so immature. i thought you were a lady, not a little girl."
and every time, y/n went to bed crying. she had no idea where this mean tommy came from, but she wanted him gone. so, she did what every reasonable woman would do.
"tommy, i want to break up." she said, shakily.
he reached towards his desk drawer and pulled out a gun. he came towards her and held it to her head. she was young, she was naive, she was stupid.
"don't be stupid, sweetheart. you love me." he said, his finger resting on the trigger. "i don't want to put a bullet in your head. don't make me."
that was the first time tommy had ever threatened to hurt her. that was the first time he used his power on her. that wouldn't be the last.
now, y/n woke up in the cold bed of tommy's, all alone. they'd gotten into a fight the night before, of course they had.
"don't even think about touching that fucking door!" he screamed.
tommy was so protective of that room. he got pissed when y/n accidentally touched the door handle, thinking it was the washroom.
the next thing she remembered was a strike across her face. she held her cheek and tears began to fall.
"don't touch me." she said through tears, backing up as tommy came closer to her.
"don't be like that sweetheart. i mean, you pissed me off. come here, don't be like that."
now she was weeping as he held her head to his chest and ran his fingers through her hair.
"i know you're young and you do stupid things. i did too when i was your age."
god, he made her feel so stupid.
he gave her whiskey for the pain. and now, she laid in a bed that wasn't her own. now, she had a small bruise on her cheek. now, she really wanted to know what was in that room.
she loved tommy. she really did. she knew if he caught her, he'd kill her. but he loved her too, right? he surely wouldn't. he was on a business trip all day, he wouldn't ever find out.
so y/n walked into the room that tommy had forbade her from every stepping foot in. she quietly opened the door as she looked around.
it wasn't anything special. there was a bed, that was messy and unmade. there was a dresser, with jewelry on it. there were some clothes in the closet. nothing else. nothing unusual. y/n walked straight out, wondering why the hell tommy didn't want her in that room.
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tommy had finally come back home after being out all day. y/n was in the living room when he came in. she didn't say hello. she still had a bruise on her face.
they sat down to eat dinner. it was silent.
"how was your day?" she asked, hating the silence.
she remembered how they used to talk for hours.
"good." he said, briefly. "yours?"
"good." she said, too. "what'd you do?"
"were any of your brothers there? oo, did you meet anyone cool?" she asked, with a smile.
she quieted down, and finished her plate without uttering another word. he got up to go to the kitchen, and y/n noticed something fell out of his pocket.
she picked it up. it was a photo. a photo of him and another woman. she had blonde hair and blue eyes. they were smiling, and he looked so happy. he came back, and she handed the photo to him.
"you dropped this." she said, naively.
he chuckled. "thank you."
he placed the picture back in his pocket. y/n thought it was a picture of an old friend, maybe a friend who'd passed away. tommy had never mentioned another women to her, she didn't think it would be another girlfriend.
"who is she?" y/n asked. "she's real pretty-"
"shut up." he said. "you don't need ask questions about everything ya see."
"i just wanted to know who she was, i didn't mean to make you mad-" y/n started.
"if you didn't want to make me mad, you wouldn't have fucking asked!" he yelled.
"why are you always yelling at me!" she asked, trying her hardest not to cry.
"because you're always doing something wrong!"
"i'm walking on ice around you all the time!" she said back. "you don't have to be so mean!"
he walked up to her, and she backed up. he grabbed her face in his hands.
"that's not mean, sweetheart. i can show you what mean is."
he let her go, throwing her back a bit as she left. the photo fell from his pocket once again as her stormed off. she picked it up, and this time turned it around.
she felt her heart shatter. who was grace?
"who's grace, tommy?" she whispered.
"what the fuck did you just say?" he asked, turning around, and slowly coming closer to the young girl.
"who's grace?" she said, again.
he poured himself a cup of whiskey. he drank it, while chuckling.
he chucked the glass at her head. luckily, y/n ducked just in time.
"don't ever say her name!" he yelled, clearly now furious. she'd never seen him this mad before.
"my love? my life? tommy, is she your wife!" she asked.
"shut up! shut up! shut up! shut up!" he said angrily, walking towards her.
it all made sense now. tommy was married to grace.
"is that why you won't let me in that room! because-" she said. "because that used to be your guys' room!"
he came towards her, anger coursing through his veins. she backed up, slowly going up the stairs.
"i saw it tommy! i went in there!" she said.
"you did what?" he screamed. "you went in there? you fucking went in there?"
"stop it. stop it. stop!" she begged. "i'm scared, tommy, stop."
she was pushed up against the door of his room which she was allowed in. tears streamed down her face.
"i love her!" tommy yelled angrily, taking y/n's body off the door frame to slam her into it. "don't fucking talk about her!"
love her he said. he didn't say loved her.
"what do you mean you love her! you're supposed to love me!" y/n asked, through fear and tears.
"you're far to immature to understand what love is!" he screamed.
he pulled a gun from his pocket and held it to her head.
"why the hell were you snooping around that room!"
"because i was curious!" she cried.
"your curiosity is going to get you killed!" he raged once more, holding the gun to her head again.
"tommy, stop. stop, stop!" she screamed through tears.
his finger rested on the trigger, and now, it seemed as if he really wanted to kill her.
"i'm sorry! i'm sorry! i'm sorry!" she profusely apologized.
he just slammed her into the door frame again.
y/n kneed him, and ran. he chased after her.
"y/n, don't you fucking walk out that door!" he yelled. "don't you fucking do it!"
she ran out the door. the cold night was safer than his home. he ran out the door too and fired a shot into the air. terrified, y/n ran faster.
she should've listened. she should've listened to everyone. she should've listened to their warnings.
she should've listened to them when they said to run as fast as you can.
