#darnik barks

[darnikshowtime]

POKEMON WINDS ANMD WAVES HAPPENS INA NUCLEAR REACTOR CONFIRMED

[darnikshowtime]

Making up new sayings while I shower.

Attempt one: Time heals all wounds but withers the flesh in high doses. Be willing to move on or whatever

[darnikshowtime]

Sticker idea I had: Bathroom stall wall with graffiti saying "Call me for an awful time <3" and the number below it is 911

[darnikshowtime]

I feel like not enough people are talking about this given how much phantoms are a HUGE talking point in the Minecraft community but like. Spears are the literal perfect counter to phantoms. Phantoms will speed at you from far away after descending a distance away, and the literal only thing you need to do is hold your spear up and wait for them to approach. Phantoms immediately stop attacking and ascend once again immediately after taking damage, and with the speed they are moving at you with, regardless of if you move or not you are going to do some damage, and you can just keep doing that repeatedly until they die, there is literally no downside. Everyone hates phantoms it feels!!! (I don't, personally, but y'know) So why is no one excited that the literal cure for all of your issues is here! and you are silent and uncaring!

[darnikshowtime]

Rrrrf wruff wruff hyped hyped hyped hyped

[darnikshowtime]

My partner just told me that, in the middle of the night, I turned to them and said plainly and directly "what if there was a girl sickness for girls and it had no symptoms"

[darnikshowtime]

Mmmmmm hambler

[darnikshowtime]

Sitting with my partner at Texas Roadhouse:

Me: I'm gonna get full on water and bread before they even bring our food

...

(Simultaneously) My partner: Sacrament!

(Simultaneously) Me: the great depression!