#darth exvind

[exvind]

Tempted to return to SWTOR

how out of place would the old mad sith, the sickly soldier, or the distressingly-to-himself-competent-smuggler-intern be these days?

[lesathoart]

Patreon reward for @exvind Merry Sithmas!

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[exvind]

I miss Exvind.. could I ask for a drabble?

OnCE upoAn A TimE THErE was a HanDsomE And wisE zaBrak who was Very Much BelOVed and had a GOOd many frIenDs. AnD then He diED tragiCAlly in a craSh. TakINg a pagE from his BooK I RealIzeD that PeOplE love suRprises. And PrOmptly tooK MY FAmIly and CapE into hidinG elaboRately faking ouR Deaths so ThaT When THE TImE is riGht we YEs shAll re Emerge and surPRise ouR DEar. CloSe frienDs. For we See. We Are Ever Watching. And Waiting. ThEre will alwAys be anOthEr Sithmas.

[exvind]

SITHMAS 2017

YEs DeAR FriEnds I haVE AlcoHol AgAIn AND ACCess to the inTErnET and it is HOLIDAYS yeS gooD VERY CelEBraTorY Good And YEs And CheeR Which MEAnS: IT IS SITHMAS AGAiN

The ROUTInE IS of CouRSE AS FOllOWs: Send A nICe reQUeSt in the ASk BOX for preSEntS AnD YEs darth ExvIND wiLl respOND AppropRIAteLY Yes OF couRSE

REQueSts for niCE Or NAUGHTY or somEThiNG inBETWEen Boys ANd girls OR SOMEthiNGS inbETweeN THe iNbox IS OpeN Yes GooD. 

SiTHmAS, YES. 

[exvind]

"So hey Uncle Exvind, did you want to ... come by for... dinner? On Life Day?" Hanneke sends this, thinks better of it, tries to recall the message but IT'S TOO LATE

For days, WEEKS she is allowed to think that the message did not transmit. It did not clear. It was intercepted. It might sit in her Drafts box for days upon days. Surely with no immediate and terrible answer - she was safe. She’d hit delete fast enough, interrupted the stream..And then They Arrived.In matching Sithmas sweaters that seemed to breathe only when you weren’t directly looking at them: the Twins still so young and pale and wide eyed and in one case sharp-toothed while Uncle Exvind wore a FestivE HAt (with a heartbeat) atop his sweater and mask while Valere wore something nice, modest [and shimmered with the essence of every phobia you’ve ever held or mildly been aware of looking at directly making it the one instance it is safer to make eye contact] holding a casserole and devilled eggs they brought for the occasion!Dinner will go....about as well as expected. Uncomfortable and awkward for anyone who has any sense of privacy and decency and sanity. But the eating will be ferocious, the compliments SHouTEd AND whiSpEreD IN TuRN AND GEnerAllY FAvoRAblE To THE EVenING MEal YEs ThOUGH preFEreNCE HAs to Be mAdE TO THEWiFEsssssssssssss DIshES YES Very good Roast very delicious fine main courSE GOOD butCHEriNG.”But it is only when the gift giving comes that one remembers why it is better to be On Their Good Side amidst all the nightmares.Yes the stockings are stuffed with fleshy abominations made up of more teeth than flesh and will require some explaining to the little ones. But the actual boxed gifts?The first is a pair of boxes, one for Mrs. and for Mr.  Mrs. gets to see the nice and shiney new Banking Clan Ultra Secure Deposit Account in her name. Mr. gets to watch a live feed of Criminal Elite fighting, and dying, to obtain illicitly-obtained riches be RE obtained by their own crew. With the last surviving member to be executed by an Imperial officer, who summarily is bisected by Darth Exvind - who waves with enthusiasm.The issue being Darth Exvind is patting him on the back enthusaistically. And it is supposedly a live feed. But those are definitely the same lightsabers on screen. She’s heard them in action. Something is--IN THE HOLIDAY SPIRIT. Especially as that new bank account’s value skyrockets. To say nothing of the proper toys for the children, the time spent He spends just staring at the lovely little shard of ‘Grandma Perkele’ he’d gifted prior---knowing that if she didn’t vent at him for this atrocity they’d no doubt suffer for it ---- and generally being delighted houseguests despite all the carnage!

And, at the end of the night, as the Serexiths board their shuttle filled with holiday meals, cheer, and gifts, the burning Crimson Sith of course embraces his de-facto Niece “the tiMe wil comE WHen you muSt ChooSE to diE YouRSElf or ThriVe As HEr - and wheN thAT MOmeNT comES: FEAST. BecAusE You’Ll be betteR AT hEr than She EveR was.” PUnctuated with a “kiss’ on the forehead with the mouthpiece of that mask, before they board the shuttle and fly off.

[exvind]

it TAkeS A mAniAc To FiGHt A mAniAc: AKA SITHMAS 2017

AlRiGht I knoW I hAve BeeN QuiEt And ThinGS hAvE been WeiRd LikE suPEr WEirD liKE WYRd wEirD likE SUper FuckINg WeiRd WeiRD BUt I do NOt AnyOne To thiNK thAt uNclE DARTH ExviNd hAs forGottEn AbouT tHEm YEs no AbSolUTely likE Any greAT sAvAnnAh MammAl I hAvE An ExcEptionAllY loNG And DetAilEd mEmoRy.

Also I forgot Sithmas this year.

So To CombAt All of theSe NEgAtiVe FeeliNGs thAt hAve been RIGhteOUSlY propEgAted I am proVidiNG whaT ANy greAt leAdeR in An Authoritarian Regime based primarily around subjugating and controlling the rights of its citizens through misinformation and propaganda and warmongering shoulD: DISTRACTIONS!28019384097018ja;jsoigh8h8375098jaois9gh981;oihanb;jaoiwhrglja;pw94it8adaoins;ijgoiabalns;jdfj:DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDd

So I shALl REblOg This EVEry Day For THe comING moNth And WElcomE ANYONe who WantS A lAte Sithmas Present to just lEAve a mEssage IN the Ask Box

Because It is NOT late Sithmas IT HAS ALWAYS Been Sithmas This TIMe of Year If YOu REmemBEr diFfereNTly you ARe wrong OF couRSE you ARe I am a DartH YeS Yes good CeleBrate NOw and givE me a cookIe or TwelVe yEs MerrY SithmAs To All Y ES

[exvind]

Both the unmasked and MOSTLy mAskEd versions of Exvind courtesy of @rhomellegacy Done about a year or so apart because she’s an amazing bloody artist and you should all throw praise and/or money at her.

[exvind]

The contest prize from the magnificently talented and endlessly magnificent @rhomellegacy! She is amazing. Comission her. 

that being said this just in time for Halloween

“OH. LoOk At thAt. You ScrAtchEd my fAce. BuT thiS preSents A fAntAstiC opPortuNity FriEnd......Now you will be able to See what I See.”