#dating sim asks

[the-dance-of-italy]

if you make the game i think stan should be canonically your dad

👀

My dearest bean i like your mind

I'll have that in mind!!!

[strafethesesinners]

I’m absolutely picking cult Cooper

Nooooo y’all gotta stop! He would ruin your life and then leave you without warning. But like also I totally get it.

[brofligate]

Please oh god op let me date Vannika plzzzzz

You and Vannika stand by the edge of a desert canyon. The sunset looks beautiful that evening, burning red against the sandstone.

"What are we?" she asks, quietly.

"Well I was hoping you'd be my girlfriend!" you answer.

"Wait, what? No- I mean what are we, in the universal sense. Were we put on this earth to suffer? Are we the mere play-things of the gods? Each day I awake in misery and welcome sleep in disillusion. Also I'm not your fucking girlfriend."

Vannika then proceeds to stab you in the neck so she may continue brooding in peace.

[thewhumperinwhite]

ok so my brain immediately went "answer the dating sim question" but then went, wait, how do dating sims work? so I googled it, but idk if 'following their route' means watching them fall in love with their canon crush/partner or if it means trying to woo them, so imma just make it easy and answer to both? So for watching: it's Karim, tbh, it just seems like a soft and precious experience. And for the other option, Pax? Honestly they have the Chaos and that's always fun :)

GOD THESE ARE GOOD FUCKING ANSWERS TOO

honestly Karim and Art are the fucking softest most romantic shit ever so big same on that one. and GOD a game where you get to BE Art and date Karim is THE ONLY DREAM I WOULD PAY ANY AMOUNT OF MONEY FOR THIS. But I would Also 100% choose Karim for a traditional dating sim because a.) objectively Probably the most handsome boy I have (don't tell morden I said that) and b.) I will be nice to him and he deserves only good things. Karim’s route is fuckin’ tragic because he’s extremely determined to be a good low-maintenance bf and you will slowly realize that he is not paying attention to his own emotional or physical needs because he doesn’t think he deserves to :) Teach Karim Self-Care: The Game

Also god amighty Pax is a good choice... Pax and the player are gonna become a Battle Couple and fight back to back and it’s gonna be excellent. Pax is the kind of person who seems like they’re easy to get close to and then you discover they Aren’t, so like, you meet them and they seem very chill and fun-loving and confident, most of which is true, but you are gonna have to Earn their trust and Prove you’re not going to... uhhh shoot them and leave them to die, For Example. As a bonding exercise they will Teach You To Fight. Eventually they’re gonna have to choose between you and Revenge, and Good Ending they choose You, and Bad Ending they...…. Don’t.

[hoiist]

Oh sure, date the garbage. 

[shiftingpath]

Even tho it would end in rejection probs I'd still pick Manus because too swoon worthy

Sadly he is too gay. You have a plotline where he politely turns you down but sets you up with someone else he knows and pays for your date, meal, flowers, etc. He never refers to the rejection again, but he quietly tries to arrange for your life to be significantly nicer. 

If you were an intelligent young man with wit and intrigue you would get a romance route where he baits you along in almost-competition as your rivalry gets more and more tense and exciting. After pairing up with him he becomes very placid and domestic, though he admits he doesn’t like sharing a bed to sleep in.

If you were an older gentleman of pride and distinction he would throw himself at your feet and keep trying to impress you. Once you’re together he acts like a young valiant knight in your service.

[sacredsymbol821]

i think you would be the shy but very cute and charming dork in a dating sim :D

aw thank you ;;;

[thewhumperinwhite]

My first thought was Cinth, but honestly I would love to see the ride the Morden or Raven dating paths would be... -faewhump

@faewhump your MIND

First of all a Cinth route would be. Wall to wall courtly intrigue. You gotta get her to take you seriously as a diplomat or whatever before she’ll give you the time of day... and then she probably proposes that you appear as an item in public for political reasons, and then if you’re sincere and Romantic with her in private she’ll fall in love with you for real. Her special events are like, getting you fitted for an extremely fancy dress that will send the Message she wants you to send at her side, and then the resulting High Pressure Ball where you get into a sticky social situation and she sweeps dramatically to your rescue.

Also if you’re mean to Andry you get a bad ending no exceptions

Raven might...… actually be an okay choice, at least for an extremely specific kind of masochist Player? I mean she is explicitly a sadist, but if you’re into that she might actually be a pretty fun cool Knife Gf and do decent aftercare and stuff? You uh. You are gonna have to be into lots of Knifeplay CGs though lmao. Spam her with compliments and google The Right Things To Say About Knives and also be chill with murder and congrats on your good end. If you get high enough approval she buys you a special very fancy knife for the bedroom and good ending is you get married and it is the most extra wedding to have ever existed. ...oh man also good ending Morden gets jealous and tries to kill you and Raven realizes she’s Actually In Love with you and kills him; bad ending she...…. does not have this realization and Morden just kills you.

oh also uh there’s no route that gets her to stop torturing and killing people so like. tl;dr are you a masochist who’s cool with murder? Raven is The LI For You

Morden, on the other hand. Morden is the kind of route where you don’t know he’s evil at first because he’s 100% grifting you. He’s very very charming and sexy but like. Bad Ending you don’t figure it out and he uses you for whatever political or magical purpose he was planning on using you for and then probably keeps you in his basement. Good Ending you do figure it out and assassinate him before he kills you, BUT while he’s dying he tells you he’s impressed and now thinks you’re hot and it’s the only time he’s been honest with you the whole game.

...there is a very self indulgent Morden dating path I could imagine where he gets deposed and stripped of political power and is like, utterly humiliated and presumably exiled or imprisoned, and you get to Teach Him Other People Are People Actually, but a.) god that would be a long row to hoe and b.) it’s possible appeals only to Me Specifically bc I do like A Villain I Can Change lmao