#davedoesthething

[davedoesthething-blog]

i'm crying

(nsfw? fan fiction fan art for "the most awful goddarn smut that ever done got writtern" by dolphinss (karkatie) and hazelgraceful (dirkstryder) on AO3.)

[davedoesthething-blog]

tbh

sometimes when nobody is looking i pretend that im an airplane

not like those stupid fucking terrorist transportation airplanes but like the "oh shit look that looks like a fucking ufo its got all those dank ass lights and shit some bitch be comin' from space" type airplanes.

then i like

fly across the skies and what not and snipe some bitches

motherfuckers drop like flies

drop harder than the bass on a dubstep album

yeah

then im all like "i ball so hard" but i take that back scratch that who the fuck says that thats gay as hell so im just like "nah fuck that brah im the best thing since sliced whole wheat bread with jam" then i change my mind and im all like "no fuck that shit nigga that jam actually be my jam" and then muffled rap music plays in the distance

and i land that plane like ice skates on a ice rink but tbh i cant ice skate for shit so i like land on that private runway at my beach house in the carribean like a train wreck man im sitting here comparing two devices of transportation

i land that airplane like a train and it kind of looks like a bus and its going as fast as a fucking speed boat with all the extra shit like the cars with the talking radio and all that unnessecary bullshit

like beep beep move the fuck out of my way cause here i come motherfucker

so i get to that runway and its all like "SKKERRR" and if you know what noise that was then im proud of you you did a good job

yeah

so i land that shit perfectly like an olympic gold medalist

and when i cruise out that escalade door feeling pimp as FUCK 

there all these bitches waiting there wantin to hop on my dick but im like "nah nigga, yall hoes aint fly enough" all pun intended 

so i head back to my crib pimp cane in one hand cash money in the other and i chill fo'real up in my dank ass beach house send all yall motherfuckers home UAENO