(Disclaimer, it's a really long one.)
- updates/more in comments
Hi, I've been scared of canto 4 all day bc everyone i've told about it has told me to hit them up if i get stuck... I'm at 38 or smth as of today idk? But eitherway,
WHAT TF IS GOING ON TODAY
I can name about ten characters in my head who, despite their very full and eventful backstories, haven't even seen this much all happen at once. What TF is going on bro??!!
The start of our story is first period, with whom I will name the main character of this crisis as Scylla. Who is for clarification, a guy, as I'm not mean enough to use my dearest classmate's names online. (I'm also not that good at making names for people so do bear with me)
Eitherway, first period after morning homeroom. PE! Physical fucking education wherein we were given a whole roleplay to present by the same day for less than 25 minutes to both prepare and present right after the lecture. (Our PE time is often 2 hours or more) One way or another, me and my group managed. Not with flying colors and of course thanks to Aria(Another substitute name for a girl in my group that i will refer to as) neither on script. Thank you Aria for somehow mixing two wholly unrelated timelines of scenes into one and making our roleplay 1/3rds shorter than we originally planned....
By Apollon's grace though, we had moved past this section of the session and was finally allowed down to go play or do whatever in the gym. Where, while your sleek gyms may be bright, big, and air conditioned ours for today was dark, wet, and not nearly as big as what most people have grown up with. I really wanna point out where I live it's currently rainy season where it's chilly but somehow sometimes also warm and sticky to stay out of air-conditioned rooms. Perfect for a very unexpectable character like me no? It's just as unstable and uncomfortably so.
As me and kaylee(substitute name) had settled onto the stage to do absolutely nothing, wherein I mean nothing as no sport because I layed down to read and she sat to talk, the others picked up badminton rackets and volleyball balls alike to engage in some actual excersion. (Wow, what addicts.)
It was sort of dark thanks to the lack of personnel to open the big lights for us and it was raining. What else stopped me from enjoying the last few pages of maybe the best book I've ever read? Though that proved to be a mistake because I soon caught wind that when I, the impatient person I am, went up to the canteen for recess found out later that while I was gone and left prematurely, one of my classmates who we earlier named scylla had a severe accident where he slipped on the gym floor while chasing out the volleyball ball headed his way. Not looking, he slipped and oh god if you heard how hard his head hit the ground not once but twice you'd think he'd dented the concrete.
Needless to say, he was rushed into the clinic and both the principal and my adviser was soon informed and aware of the situation. Where, later today I found out, he lost a portion of his memory due to this and will most definitely be taking tests and checks to exactly how severely the damage done will and has affected him.
- I am beyond concerned, naturally, but being a person not as close to him as I'd like to be I really can't bring myself to grieve like before. The real bother to me is how a waste he is of potential. I swear I could see him getting anything he wants to achieve by the look in his eyes alone as he speaks and spurs on. Sure, a little mislead when it comes to comprehending questions but fix that and he could've been unstoppable. I swear. What a waste.
Onto the second crisis, this isn't in order but off the top of my head this is about someone we'll name Rein. He... Is a little(?)... very... kulit. If you don't know what "kulit" is, think of it as active. And not in the very school-noteworthy way how they always answer questions because they know, but more of active in how they are one of the most common voice you'll hear of throughout the day and is somehow in kahoots or in the know with bigger or almost any other names in the school. Basically, he's quite the runt.
Today, his fall from grace was a joke between classes where he outright admitted to having a phone wherein our school requires a permit or slip to be able to bring them in for activity or commute purposes. (You are handed the devices after classes or when the slip permits you to during an activity)
This I assume, was not taken like the intended joke and he was called down to the office at dismissal... (man is he in for a TIME. That and his friend who, since we are seniors, is the decider who gets into the main male sports teams of the school said he may or may not add him in anymore because of this. Ouh- ouch...)
Anyways, let's see. The other incidents are far less severe but nonetheless still quite notable.
One of which who is my ex-bsf of 8(?) years who we'll call Meela had this anxiety attack(?) right after what I think was the monologue presentation in our Filipino subject. The teacher who was grading us and our presentations(which I will take the opportunity to tell you now that I was given a chance to crossdress a character in this strict catholic-run school, very proud of that and my audacity/courage despite my less than to plan performance) allowed us to take the remaining period as free time. She who was about to dismiss us for the next class though saw Meela crying and decided they'd talk outside for a while. (The class erupted in hushed and some not so hushed whispers and assumptions/discussions about her then after until she came back in)
That was one out of three pull-outs of the day where a teacher was talking to a student.
The other two were just what I would call natural occurences as they consisted of the new transferee and a very ignorant or should I say stubborn classmate. The transferee case is just what I would deem as him coming from a very, albeit quite annoyingly disrespectful, free country. But he's learning ig... (I had to help him understand what the cafeteria monitor was telling him in tagalog during lunch because she told him to stop roaming around and keep still or atleast stay in the eating area)
Anyways, what a fruitful week it's been. Already chock-full of assignments, projects, oral works, and recitations due and it's only the first few weeks. What the fuck else awaits me in this dreaded school year?
I've even resorted to using a to-do list!! I don't do that!! It's fine it's the last dreaded school year of this season in the series called my life, I will be up and out sooner than I know it.
Anyways, some stuff that happened to me only and personally:
-I declined this stupid larp i've been avoiding all week or last on the request to talk it out, no I am not in the mood, get the fuck away from me(I'll be less hostile soon, trust)
-I heard the girls in the bathroom voice their growing irritation over the boys in my class thanks to the incidents and etc
-For the Filipino monologue presentation where I crossdressed I borrowed a tophat from the other section wherein the people inside hollered "Ayie" and "yie" in jest when I thanked him properly(Thanks, _____) ... Is it not right to mention their name when thanking a person? I wonder
I have gotten a new interest. Someone i'd like to befriend or atleast understand as I'm unsure of these signs wether they are friendly, more so, or less so. He, is who we'll call Entropy. (While it's not as cool or as name-like than the rest but he is often like the opposite of an entropy to me which I find ironic and choose to stick to this name for that reason alone) He is seated in the front row ahead of me where we usually only spare a glance at each other when an activity paper is passed back or vice versa. Though it's only been a few weeks I recall quite clearly only one interaction where I did not pay him as much mind at the time and was feeling quite pissy enough to unexplainingly usher him out of his seat, instead of ask nicely like I'd usually, to fix and realign his chair wherein I now realize I felt a quiet and untelling stare fall upon me as I did.
My oblivious ass obviously never noticed but now that I recall it sends quite the chill up my spine. (The quiet and wondering tingly kind by the way, not the fearful type)
Anyways, other than that our interactions are limited to stuff you wouldn't suspect to be off scene ut for me were because I am not really anyone youwould ask these specific things to or is known for handling the mundane, let alone the fact his friend is literally a seat beside me so he could just ask there. It's not that hard. Things like what's the time(Again, entropy's friend who is also my seatmate we'll call Zeya, has a real expensive watch that could be put to much better use like HIS OWN if he'd just ask there instead), what page of the book it is(from me who doesn't even bring me books at the time yet still knew the page anyway), and just random asks like what was the ___ or some unconnected topic that seemed to pop right into his head for no reason.
But nonetheless, it was still just weird. Not uncomfortable or anything. Again, maybe it's just me and my lack of social interaction who cares this much over a few things because for all I know it's only because I'm closest and convenient.
Then why, pray tell, explain to me how(when we were assigned as seatmates in our coding class) knew of my new interest and trying of limbus? Limbus Company, yes. This sporty, popular, quite charming in my opinion, and lean(not to mention damn smart) man has somehow fatedly fallen into the same quite unheard of community, that is limbus. But that isn't what shocked me most. It was how come he knew I was suddenly into it? I, the overreacting, dramatic, and flair loving actor I am(where I play the role of a stupid fool in the passing of days) had naturally overreacted to him being my seatmate as someone I was not particularly hoping for compared to my friends who I'd wanted instead. As I faux my distress over this predicament, he was quick to counter with quick "calm down"s as if he saw my reaction as the utter hell I had wished to impede with my performance. Calm down was not my expected response to this however so I stopped the dramatics in shock, or was it confusion? A mix of both. As I murmured my apology and almost-explanation he asked to see my drawing of Sinclair.
"Yo, I wanna see Sinclair"
Was how it went as I recall. Moreover hushed and quite fuzzy in my head in the room where we were told not to talk. But gosh how I jumped in pure disbelief I was sure you could sense the world's wind pulse a little at my "HUH-". The quietest or most voiceless as it could be atleast. I was a little proud for not going as crazy as I used to when I found out friends of mine play Hoyoverse games but it was still quite the shock enough for him to shush me downa a little with what I couldn't tell if they were embarassed or regretful "Shhh"s.
Why did he know I had a drawing of sinclair in my notebook? I know it was open that day(this occured this or last week as far as I recall) for a long while with that exact page open for a long time but I'm sure no passing eye looks at my corner table where the desk meets the wall and himturning around to stand or walk would make it easily missable because of blind spots. Let alone the hair wasn't quite accurate enough for you to tell it was him from afar enough and the name I wrote on the top was too small to have just caught your attention.
This puzzled me. We mentioned a little more about this though and I figured his favorite was the great Rodya, which I virtually salute to as I myself loved her portion so far and her general character from what I've seen. I'm not sure wether I will get him a keychain yet though as he doesn't seem like the type nor do I have the money right now. That and I also barely interact with the guy to be giving gifts already. (I am planning to give my at-school limbus player friends aside from that larp imentioned whogot me into it some keychains of their favs plus the plush for myself bc I appreciate them welcoming me into the fandom)
Anyways, after that he gave me a few tips to try beating that one stage everyone keeps warning me about in canto 4(I'm genuinely so scared) and we left it off there on the limbus talk.
Since then I dunno, I've felt odd. Like looking at him is detrimental(yet I do so anyways) and I've been doing origami again. Which Isn't a good sign because this is often how I'd give to those I liked. While I protestto myself now that I do not like him, I am still quite scared that I might so please let's assume, hope, trust, and pray that I only want to befriend him or atleast understand these odd feelings enough to make a good decision.
Some notable other things though is how I often chuckle or laugh a bit when he sleeps in coding class and how I'd sometimes(regrettably) leave paper stars on his table like today.
OH I remember now, there was this one conversation or exhange ig where he asked if the origami on the window beside me was a swan(It was first week I think and one of our first) wherein I corrected him telling him no, It's a crane. To which, and to my confusion, he'd reaffirm he'd search it up later as I failed to voice imagery in his head what the form of a crane looked like. (Why would you tell me that? Why would you put in the time to look up such a mundane thing or atleast lie to my fae about doing so if it was)
Maybe that's why I give him origami- bc he mentioned that singular one that time..? Whatever, this is all crap. He confuses me. I wish to seek answers to these wonders.
I will stop doing origami for him today but nonetheless keep trying to maintain our relationship(weird or mundane as it is) as it was before before my curiosity and confusion over the matter. Or... try my best to at least-
