Day 145 of 365; Today marks the first year anniversary of the completion of my thesis entitled Pula sa Bahaghari; Mga Profile ng Modernong PLHIV bilang Naratibo (Red in the Rainbow; Profiles of Modern PLHIV as Narratives). It is now collecting dust in my shelf and I haven't been able to finish the edits before I submit the manuscript to a publisher since my laptop is broken. So I'm a bit sad and frustrated since the project has been put into a halt. But in retrospect, I realized that I wasn't doing the project then to tell the stories of my PLHIV friends; I was exploiting their narratives in order to prove something. Did I manage to prove anything? I wouldn't know, the only ones who have read this work were some trusted friends, my thesis adviser, and the panelists. Most of them have doubts about the work. I understood those doubts since I, too, have my own doubts regarding this work. But some were inspired by the work, what kind of inspiration? I wouldn't know either. None of them would tell me exactly what they thought of it really. But now that it's reduced into a pet project, I'm more confident and comfortable in rewriting this since I no longer need to impress some judging eyes. And perhaps, once I get a new laptop, I'll be able to finish this and finally do what I wish to do with this project; to tell the people that there is life after HIV diagnosis. . . . #day145of365 #perspectives #confessions #happyanniversary #firstbook #writerblues #photoaday