Journal Prompts #1
So I have decided to write down a few journal prompts a day. This is because this is my year for re-connection. I need to find out who I am, what I am, what it is I live for, and how I can contribute to this world?
Who do I trust the most and why? I do not have the capacity for trusting people. But I can definitely mention those I can reach out to. My sister, Antony, Kriti, Pooja and Sanyukta. When in agony or at my worst, I know I can reach out to them. Even when they're not there for me, they will somehow still be there for me. :) I need tonnes of validation. They somehow hold space for me and let me be.
2. My strengths in relationships: I care for my people, I keep their likes and dislikes in mind, and their little quirks. Any relationship is not my strength, and I am learning to reach out, take accountability for it, be vulnerable and put myself out in their hands.
3. How do you draw strength from loved ones? Their presence. When I open up and they see that they're holding space for my imperfect self and emotions. I feel seen and heard.
4. What do I value most in relationships? Communication, being chosen as a companion, being heard, having a good time, being able to spend time in the mundane, knowing I am supported and loved. Being able to go out and have a lot of fun! :)
5. 3 Important things learned from Previous Relationships
'Sonder' - The other person is also a complex universe, the main character of their own life. They owe it to themselves and NOT me, to do as they please. Not everything is about me.
People are constantly evolving. A person you knew a few months back, is not the same person. Changed mindsets, routines, and diversions in aspirations are all a part of it.
Communication through conflicts is the key to strengthing existing relationships
6. Five traits I value in potential partners
Communication through ups, downs, and silences.
Put forth their opinions, despite mine not being the same. Healthy, constructive debating. Includes change of mind and perspective.
Knowing who they are and what they bring into the relationship
Efforts - Planning dates, activities, things to do, sharing & pursuing each others' interests & knowledge
Being able to appreciate the mundane with each other
7. How do you show compassion to others and how can you extend the same to yourself? I can say I'm just about 30%, compassionate person. I need to improve my compassion skills. But the way I do it is by thinking of them and praying for them. Nowadays I have begun to realize that people have their own of doing things, and their own way of expressing themselves.
I am different just like everyone else. Just because the majority is up to one thing, doesn't mean I have to too. I take part in stuff when I know it makes me happy. Also, thanks to my boyfriend, I am learning to take interest in new perspectives and activities. I really appreciate him for the push! :)
8. What 3 things are working well and 3 things that could Improve in my relationships
Working Well- Open to the idea that there are manifold perspectives on one topic, Improved quality of conversations (healthy debates), Initiating interests and topics while communicating with new people.
Areas of Improvement- Communication with my parents (and in general), Initiatives to reach out, and Repair Conflicts.
9. Boundaries to safeguard my own wellbeing
The way people talk to and of me
Priortise my time and distribute to different relations and my goals
Compartmentalize the day as starting, working, chilling and winding down.
10. What do I want my children to learn?
That they are their own person
That their voice matters
Their feelings are valid no matter others' opinions of it
To communicate so their abstract inner world can be expressed outwards
To have fun and to do what they love, what matters to them and especially whatever makes them the happiest! :)
11. How can I better support & appreciate my loved ones?
Converse with them
Take effective actions
Listen
Understand that despite the labels and my assumptions of everyone, they and I are flawed. We say one thing and do another. And that's completely okay. For we are all making sense of this existence and giving meaning to understand it. So, appreciate each other's actions, and feelings even when it conflicts with my own
12. Love for me, means freedom. It means that you hold space for them to be whoever they want to be. It means you listen to them fully understanding that there are complex layers to everyone and that there is no 'right' way to feel about something. One can never fully understand what another is going through.
It also means acts of service
13. What do I bring to my relationship?
I bring space
I bring efforts - planning dates, and activities while keeping in mind what we each love doing, and making new memories. Planning trips
I bring acceptance that we each have our own strengths and limitations and that we build our relationship while balancing this out.
I bring laughter, jokes, and playful banter
I bring street-smart into the relationship
14. 3 things to tell my loved ones
I wanna go on a trip with A
Thank you for loving me and all that you do for me
I love A and may consider marrying him.
