Jonathan Byers NSFW Alphabet
Notes before we start:
This was cross posted on AO3!!! I have no experience posting fics on tumblr so sorry if the formatting isn't optimal or whatever, I'm still learning. This is AFAB but not necessarily feminine, so sorry AMAB readers
I used no ai to write this, all of this came (haha) from my pure imagination. Fuck ai. I hate ai. Don't feed my work into ai & don't repost without permission or credit, thanks X
Before we start I'd like to let you know that the "S" for stamina is missing. Why? Because everyone on the internet has a different definition for what a "round" of sex is and how long they last and it was pissing me off so let's just say he lasts a satisfactory amount of time. Yayyy, now enjoy the rest of this my four other Jonathan fans 🥹
A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex) We all know Jonathan's a sweetheart so best believe he's the best at giving aftercare. He'll ask if you're okay, handling you gently and making sure you're not in pain or discomfort. It usually ends up with you two cuddling at which point he might ask for reassurance that he did good for you. He likes to feel the moment with each other before getting cleaned up.
B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s) Personally don't think Jonathan has very high self esteem so picking a favorite part of himself is hard. He might say his eyes, not necessarily for appearance, but because they're what allows him to see the world (which as a photographer is pretty amazing).
On you I'd say he likes your face most. One slight change in expression can say so much about what you're thinking and Jonathan really digs that. He's especially fond of watching the faces you make during sex.
C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person) That boy loves to make a mess on you. Your chest, your tummy, your legs (even your face if you'll allow him) there's just something really artistic about seeing you painted in his cum that almost makes him want to pull his camera out. However, if he's cumming inside you he's most definitely using a condom, no pregnancies and easy clean up!
D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs) Wants you to peg him. He had a dream about it once and has not been able to get it out of his mind ever since. He's too nervous to ask, but secretly he fantasizes about it A LOT.
E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?) Depending on when you get together that boy is either a virgin or he's slept with exactly one person, so yeah definitely not super experienced in the field. Doesn't mean he isn't eager to learn though! He takes great pride giving you a good time, sexually or otherwise, so he'll be caught up on experience in no time ;)
F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying) Any position where he can see your face is good. Missionary with your legs wrapped around him & the lotus are his favorites just for the closeness they give.
G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc) Jonathan's a nice mix of dorky and brooding and that doesn't really change during sex! There's small moments where you two might laugh a little, but he's more focused on pleasuring you than he is on humoring you.
H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.) It's the 80s so let's be honest... the chances of him doing anything more than trimming are few and between. And yes, I do believe the carpet matches the drapes.
I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…) Very intimate! He might make fun of lovey pop songs or romcoms but I think he's a romantic at heart. He likes sex as a bonding experience, another way to get to know each other better so he definitely knows how to make you feel cherished and adored.
J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon) I mean... he wasn't getting a lot of action before you. But house Byers was always at least a little busy so it didn't really leave a lot of alone time, I'd say it was maybe a once every two weeks thing. With you in the picture though I think he hardly ever masturbates anymore, only if you're apart for a really long time.
K = Kink (One or more of their kinks) Let's get the obvious one out of the way: taking pictures of you both before, during & after sex. He likes the extra artistic layer it adds to the act. Also would definitely be interested in making homemade porn for you both to watch back. For the rest I think blindfolding is something he'd be into as well as gags, bondage & kinkwear. He also definitely has a praise kink but I mean come on- who doesn't at this point?
L = Location (Favourite places to do the do) His house or your house, specifically the bedroom is best: it's the place you're both most comfortable plus there's a bed *right there* waiting to be used. Besides that (if no one else is home) the couch is another good one, usually when watching a movie that you two get bored of and if you're feeling particularly adventurous even the kitchen might be an option.
M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going) You talking about something you're passionate about. It sounds a little silly but if you get into a super long rant about something you love he's probably gonna pop a boner.
N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs) He would never seriously injure either of you, sex to him is about closeness, comfort & fun so things like slapping, choking & knifeplay are off the table. I can't see him being into watersports or scat either so those are also a hard no.
O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc) He's a munch. I don't doubt this for this for a second. Nothing better than the view he gets while his face is between your thighs, eating you out like he's starved and this is his last meal. He won't say no to a good blow job though- thinks it's really hot when you look up at him through your lashes and gets flustered when his hips buck up into your mouth because it just feels that good.
P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.) Slow and sensual is definitely his preference. Any time you guys have sex it starts off slow with him gradually picking up the pace till you both cum. I really don't think rough sex is his thing to be honest. Maybe after a *really* astronomically bad day or after a lot of convincing from you, but even then I don't think he'd ever been rough enough to hurt you. If you wanna get a little rough with him though... now that's another story.
Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.) I mean... he's not gonna say no. They're not his favorite, he'd rather be relaxed and take his time without feeling rushed, but if you ask for a quick fuck before he goes to work he's definitely not turning you down.
R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.) He'll experiment with some BDSM like I mentioned earlier, maybe get a little daring with locations, but most suggestions would come from you. If there's something you really wanna try you could probably convince him, but I can't see him wanting to try anything superrrr hardcore.
T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?) He doesn't own any himself, but if you do then he's definitely up for experimentation on either you or him.
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease) He doesn't tease very often, but sometimes... sometimes he just likes to watch you squirm and whine for what you want.
V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make) Not super loud, definitely starts off as a grunter and groaner, but moans start to slip when he gets really into it. If you're the one in charge he's way more vocal and honestly he probably whimpers when he's close.
W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice) He's creamed his jeans before. It wasn't supposed to happen, but you were in his lap while making out and you just kept grinding against him and yeah... safe to say he was super embarrassed afterwards.
X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words) Not super huge, about 6,5 inches curving slightly downwards, below average girth (skinny dick king)
Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?) Now as you might have deduced at this point his sex drive isn't super high. Sex just wasn't really one the forefront of his mind for a long time so that's kind of carried over into adulthood. He likes if you initiate sex as well, that way it feels more like an even split.
Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards) Depends on what time of day you have sex. If it's at night, he'll fall asleep after you're both cleaned up and comfortable. If it's in the morning or during the day though he'll probably just laze around with you for a little bit before getting dressed to go do whatever he has to that day.
End notes:
I hope you enjoyed! Tell me if there's any tags I should add or remove (not sure this works the same on Tumblr as it does on AO3 but oh well) and positive comments are appreciated!!!














