An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: 名探偵コナン | Detective Conan | Case Closed
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Relationships: Haibara Ai | Miyano Shiho & Miyano Akemi, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Characters: Haibara Ai | Miyano Shiho, Miyano Akemi, Gin - Mentioned, Kudou Shinichi | Edogawa Conan - Mentioned, Akai Shuuichi | Moroboshi Dai - Mentioned
Additional Tags: Angst, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, APTX 4869, Hurt No Comfort, DCMKEmogust2019, POV Multiple, Character Death, 宮野の日, Miyano Day, Death, Grief, One Shot, Siblings, Arc: One Billion Yen Robbery c0013-0016 | e0013/0128 (Meitantei Conan), this fic is based more off the 128 ep version than the manga, this fic took me over three years to write, an emotional labor of love and pain and intense hurt
Summary:
Alternative title: A Deal with God, of the Devil
What if Shiho was able to see Akemi one last time before she took APTX4869?
Summary: Prompt fill: DCMK Emogust 2019 - Sheep
Written Aug 2019
Read on AO3
Kaito was so tired, but he couldn’t seem to fall asleep. It wasn’t a new problem, but it didn’t mean it didn’t suck any less. If he had to pinpoint exactly when this problem started, he would say it was probably after his dad died. He had hoped that it was all just some overly elaborate trick and that if he stayed up long enough, he would hear his dad come home.
Now, his insomnia was commonplace, and being an internationally wanted criminal with an evil organization out for his life certainly didn’t help the situation.
Kaito shifted in his bed, his eyes open simply because he didn’t care enough to close them. He wanted to be able to sleep, at least, he liked to think he did. He honestly couldn’t remember the last time he got more than an hour or two of rest, he was surprised his body hadn’t given out yet. He knew it was dangerous to do the things he does on less than adequate rest, but he found it harder and harder to care.
He still tried to sleep, no matter how pointless he thought it was. And he had tried everything. Any kind of sleep medication he could get his hands on, any kind of tea or other “relaxing” food, and all kinds of different relaxation techniques. Nothing worked. He also, of course, counted sheep.
“One,” Kaito said to his ceiling, “Two, three, four, five,” He counted up and down, by twos and threes, and in all manner of languages. He could count to one hundred in at least ten languages now. As he counted, he visualized these sheep. Sometimes they were realistic, other times they weren’t, sometimes they were fluffy, sometimes they were shaved down. He also often thought about the sheep. Mostly, he thought about how sad it was to be a sheep. Sheep just followed the flock, yet he envied their peaceful, ignorant bliss. He also thought about their wool, how bright white it was, like KID’s suit. He often remembers the first time he put on the suit, like a lamb to the slaughter.
Kaito didn’t like sheep. He was, ironically, tired of them, but counting sheep had become a habit, he had done it for far too long. How hateful it was to have an animal often associated with sacrifice to curse him like this, as if they were angered that they were killed and he wasn’t.
Becoming once again overwhelmed with these thoughts, Kaito threw his pillow at the ceiling. It didn’t do anything, but it made him feel a little better. He got up from his bed and paced around his room, trying not to look at the large poster of his father. It was something else that haunted him at night. Finding the walking unuseful, he threw himself back in bed. He picked up his phone and sighed when he saw the time. He opened it anyway and scrolled through his recent texts. He wouldn’t text Aoko, she was sure to be asleep and he didn’t want to drag her into this hell with him. His mom was in a different timezone, but she kept track of Japan’s and he didn’t want his mom to question why he was up so late, he didn’t want to worry her. He had Shinichi’s number, and he was sure to be awake, but Kaito didn’t know if he wanted to show such a weakness to the detective, of course, he could always hide it behind a poker face.
With a deep breath, he sent a text. I assume you’re still awake?
Within a minute, Shinichi responded. You aren’t allowed to judge me because you’re awake too. Kaito let out a low chuckle.
Can’t sleep, detective?
Something like that, I just finished looking over some case files and was getting ready for bed
That’s not healthy, you need more sleep!
Okay, hypocrite. Kaito winced he knew he was, but he really couldn’t help it, and he knew that Shinichi was probably just poking fun, Shinichi wouldn’t know about all his sleepless nights, would he? Kaito? Did you fall asleep with your phone open? It says you read my text
Nope, still awake!
Well, at least I have someone to talk too. I can’t get my mind off this one case and I’d like to keep working on it, but I think Division one would personally knock me out if they thought I didn’t get enough sleep
Don’t feel obligated just because I messaged you Shinichi. Get some rest, you need it
And you don’t?
It was just a coincidence I was up lol. Kaito was glad he didn’t have to look at Shinichi when he said that, he was sure the detective would be able to tell. I’ll go to bed soon
Well, at least that will be one of us, I really don’t think I’ll get any sleep, that case is really bugging me, I’m just not tired
Luckily for you, I know plenty of helpful sleepy time tricks!
…I don’t think I really want to know what these “sleepy time tricks” are
Well, there’s bedtime teas, if you have any, or melatonin supplements
Nope, don’t have either
You could read a book until you’re bored to sleep
Unlikely
True. Have you done stretching, or those weird breathing techniques?
Wow, you really do have a whole list, huh
You doubted me? Shinichi, I’m offended!
Well, tell me oh great master of “sleepy time tricks”, what’s your favorite? Kaito didn’t have a favorite, he hated them all. It’s not that he didn’t believe they didn’t work for other people, he just hated them because they didn’t work for him. Kaito thought about it for a minute, he didn’t want to just give Shinichi an answer, he genuinely wanted to help him if he could, he deserved a good night’s sleep. At least, that was what he thought when his brain reminded him of one in particular and he gave himself a breathy laugh at how absolutely pathetic he was.
It’s August and that means it’s the month of huge mistakes. Starting with this one: @sup-poki and @mintchocolateleaves newly created Emogust - Emotion August. Running from 05.08 till 30.08*, our aim is to cause one another to feel emotions.
HOW DOES IT WORK ?
Well, like with fandom weeks, we’ll be taking prompts and creating content based on them. Each weekend, we’ll upload a post asking for your prompts, and on Sunday, we’ll announce the list of five prompts for the following week.**
There’s a twist to each content challenge and of course, that means there’s a twist to ours! And that is, that each day, we have to change the genre up. What does this mean? It means, if we create something in the angst genre on Monday, we can’t create something angsty again until Wednesday.
And of course, we’d love for you all to join in! Join us in our prompts - and suffering - and be sure to tag your content #DCMKEmogust2019. Or, better yet, @ us! A challenge is always more fun if it’s not done in a void!
...WHY?
Why not! It’s a content war between Poki and Mint, y’all should just go with it.
WHAT ABOUT WEEKENDS?
Weekends are for collecting the next weeks prompts and for having a break after a week of creating things. We’re not inhuman - we need breakdays or we might quit halfway through.
*Dates are what we’re planning on, if we don’t like, die and stop halfway through. No offense: Creating stuff is hard.
**First round of prompts should go into replies to this post please! The list will be uploaded on Sunday!
AN: For @sup-poki and @mintchocolateleaves‘s emogust, i’m swinging back on the grapevine to some lighter stuff. Feat. Nakamori the clueless
Inspector Nakamori thought something was off about tonight’s heist, he just wasn’t sure exactly what. The set-up had been fairly simple, the only wrinkle in the protocol being when yet another detective showed up on the scene and insinuated himself into the proceedings. It wasn’t the time-obsessed kid, that had left him frazzled for days after their last encounter, but this Kudo guy was a handful either way.
The gem’s owner had insisted on bodily protection instead of the usual lasers and lightshow that the police generally used for these situations, not that they seemed to make a difference. But there was always someone coming along with new ideas thinking they had the next infallible attempt at keeping the gem safe. Nakamori didn’t exactly need a reminder of the last time he had to wear a jewel, he’d been worried about getting his finger cut off instead of the dogged excitement that usually came with KID heists. But this one was getting close to ridiculous, next thing would be someone had to swallow the gem and see what happened next day.
Kudo just had to keep it in his mouth instead. Nakamori didn’t envy him the honor, he didn’t want to think how many dusty years the opal had spent in some chest or other, and how many people had touched it with diseases long eradicated.
It had been a funny thing to see the world-renowned detective with his cheeks bulging as he tried to stick the wrapped opal under his tongue without letting it show.
“Don’t forget that it’s in there,” he tried to joke, fidgeting with his tie as the time ticked closer to the appointed arrival. He didn’t like to admit it, but the heist fever sometimes got him too. Kaito liked to bring up the Christmas incident whenever he mentioned working on the heists, and he couldn’t deny that it had been a sobering few months when he’d thought his nemesis was out of the picture. They had a routine, and he liked it that way, even if he did strive to catch the bugger regardless of how good of a run-around he gave them.
“It’ll be rather hard to, Inspector,” Kudo replied, words still a little rounded as he got used to the obstruction. His words were echoed as Nakamori heard it through his earpiece as well. “The plan depends on successful deception, please do not hold back in pursuing even the decoy.”
“Almost doesn’t feel fair,” Nakamori admitted, staring at the perfect replica lying on its plush cushion under a spotlight. The squad of officers in the room were eyeing it convincingly enough, but he wondered if perhaps this was already a done deal. KID would never think to look in their mouths of all places.
“He’ll be the one in for a surprise, for once.” Shinichi waved a dismissive hand, smile smaller than he was likely used to, the edges pulled down by his hidden cargo.
The room dimmed in preparation for the moment, the ticking of his watch ringing in his ears as he stared around him, ready for anything.
A flash of bright light, blinding him to what appeared in the center of the room, but he had enough eyesight left to see the flare of a cape disappear around the corner while guards toppled in its wake. He ran after it, leaving Kudo behind with a clap on the shoulder. It would be a convincing ruse, they were already off to a good start.
He’d gotten quite a few corridors away when he heard a crackle in his earpiece, the link to Kudo coming online again.
“I would’ve thought you’d already left with your quarry, KID.” Kudo’s speech had finally settled into something more natural, Nakamori was glad to note.
“I’m pleased you’ve come to another of my performances, my dear detective.” KID’s delighted voice came as a dimmer, but no less clear sound in his ears. The bastard had given them the run-around yet again! A decoy for a decoy, though he didn’t think the thief had caught on quite yet. “How could I leave without giving a proper welcome.”
Nakamori wasn’t quite sure what the rustles of fabric meant, but hopefully Kudo was keeping as far away from KID as possible. The closer he came, the higher the chance he’d notice something wasn’t quite right. With his mimicry, the thief was bound to notice when a person’s voice changed or became altered, no matter the reason.
“Don’t let him near you!” he called over the line, turning back the way he’d come and hoping his breath wouldn’t desert him before he could make it back.
“Is this what you call a proper welcome?” Kudo’s voice was accompanied by a thud of a body against something solid.
“My, my, pinning me down so soon? I haven’t even laid a hand on the prize yet.” KID sounded louder now, coming from somewhere that couldn’t have been more than a few feet away. But Nakamori grinned, Kudo had him pinned, that was a good start. It would be hard to keep the rascal still for longer than a minute, but if Kudo could keep him talking he might be less inclined to squirm.
“You could have taken it already, it’s right there.”
Good job, Kudo, keep him guessing. If only he didn’t have to keep talking to do that, it would be perfect. Nakamori was close now, panting as he rounded the last corner back and sprinting for the entrance to the room while sidestepping the downed guards. An odd sound was filling his ears and he couldn’t make heads or tales of what could possibly make Kudo sigh like that. But it didn’t matter, because that meant KID was still there and they had a chance of catching the slippery troublemaker.
He skidded into the room and almost fell over at the sight that greeted him. Kudo had KID flat against the wall, arms braced on either side to keep him from moving but it didn’t look like the thief especially wanted to anyway. Not with the way his hands were twined around the detective’s neck and his lips were pressed against Kudo’s with his hat tilted back on his messy hair. They almost seemed lost, no heed paid towards him at all as he stood there and watched the scene with dropped jaw and incredulous indignation filling him to the brim.
“KID!” he roared, starting for them with an intent to strangle some sense into someone.
KID pulled away and looked over Kudo’s shoulder at Nakamori, grinning, the opal pushed between his teeth with tongue and wiggling his fingers.
“A genius place to hide it, Inspector! I do appreciate the effort.” With that, he broke from Kudo’s hold and with a shameless wink back at the detective, disappeared in a cloud of smoke that left Nakamori feeling rather light headed. What with having run what felt like a mile to and fro in the building, he heaved the doubtless sleeping gas into his lungs and felt himself start to sway. Why Kudo went down almost as fast was beyond him, but to be honest, he was done with the evening after what he’d seen.
They are at the police station again. The news hasn’t broken yet, but the Black Organisation is down. The coup worked. They did it. Well, the last part was mostly the doing of Hattori and his colleagues, and the FBI, but Shinichi knows they all mostly count it as his success. They are probably right in that, but he doesn’t feel like bragging about it, not like he did when he was still a teenager.
“Well”, Shinichi says, “there’s probably gonna be a press conference soon and we’re gonna have to tell the whole story.”
He looks at her and wonders if that is what she is worried about. “You’re still okay with what we agreed on, right?”
Haibara meets his eyes. “You know I’m sure about that.”, she says quietly, “I’ve always wanted it to be that way, you know that.” She makes a short break. “As long as you are willing to lie about that.”
Shinichi sighs. “We talked about that. It’s for the best. I’m not gonna tell.”
“I know.”, she says. “But you don’t want to lie anymore.”
She’s right. She knows him too well. But this is a whole different story.
“I’ve got all the important parts down. You are Ai Haibara, a child that was pulled into the Black Organisation against her will because of her parents. Her parents are dead so she was raised in the Organisation. However, she decided to flee with me and helped bring down the Organisation ultimately. There’s no lie in that.”
“I guess not.”, Haibara says.
Shinichi reaches down to ruffle her hair. He loves that he can do that now—he’s been permanently big for about a week now and he absolutely loves it.
She gives him a death glare and it melts the soft worry of her face. Shinichi is glad.
“You’re avoiding my question.”, Haibara says and gets her hair out of his reach.
Shinichi frowns in confusion. “What question?”
“What are you going to do now?”, she repeats, her eyebrows furrowing in impatience, or maybe just annoyance.
Shinichi blinks. “I just told you, there’s gonna be a press conference, and then the trials I guess…”
“Not that stuff.” She makes a dismissive gesture with her hand. “I mean what are you going to do, now that you’re free and all?”
Shinichi stares at her. “I- I don’t know.”
-
The question follows him around. It’s not surprising—really it’s all there is to ask, now that all is said and done, even if the reporters might have a slightly different idea.
It’s not that he hasn’t thought about it at all—but not in terms that seem real. It has always been some kind of parallel ubiverse, where he can be normal again and slip back in his old life—finish high school with Ran and Sonoko, maybe go to college, and then? He’s always wanted to open his own agency, but now, everything just wasn’t as easy.
Ran and Sonoko had long since finished high school, and if he had wanted to go to college he would be almost finished by now. He didn’t even have a high school degree! But even apart from that—returning to his old life was clearly impossible when everyone else had moved on from it. All of his old classmates had long since moved on and where building their own lives, Ran included. And besides, the more he thought about it, the more he realised he barely had had any connection to them anyway. Sure, he had been friendly with some of them, but he had barely had any friends per se. When he had first disappeared, Ran was the only one that had cared enough to make a fuss about it, her and maybe Sonoko. It was kind of frightening to realise that he had had more friends when he was Conan than when he was himself.
His thoughts swerve to Ayumi, Genta, and Mitsuhiko. They seemed to still be on the detective train when he saw them the other day. He admits to himself he is a little bit proud. They are smart kids and they could be good someday. He’s almost a little sad he doesn’t have a legitimate reason to go talk to them—maybe Haibara will be able to reconnect to them, then he could at least hear about what they are up to. The thought saddens him, but he doesn’t quite know why.
Aside from Ran and Sonoko his only other close friend had been Hattori. Shinichi is glad to have him back, glad to know he has someone to have his back again, but Hattori has his own life, too. He’s with Kazuha, and he has his work, and on Saturdays he volunteers to teach little kids Kendo when he’s not too busy. It sounds like a good life. It takes Shinichi a few minutes to realise he’s jealous.
The press conference doesn’t exactly shake his thoughts because after trying to squeeze pages worth of terrible memories out of his brain (Shinichi tries to gloss over the worst parts—there’s some of his pain he needs to keep private) the question is there again.
“What are your personal plans for your future?”
Shinichi tries to stall for time. “Well, I’ve always been a detective.”, he says, because it’s true, and even after everything that’s happened, he doesn’t want to give up on that. Apparently, there is still a little idealist somewhere inside of him, longing to bring justice to people’s unjust deaths. “And when I started this case, I didn’t ever think it would take that long. I didn’t realise how big this was until I was in the middle of it and then I didn’t have a way out. So when I first started out with it I just assumed I would slip back into my old life. Going to school, being a teen detective… Obviously it doesn’t quite work out that way, so frankly I’m not sure yet. I don’t even have a high school diploma, I’m far behind other people my age, so I guess I’ll be trying to catch up.”
-
“Was it terrible?”, he asks Haibara after. She’s sitting outside the conference room, but she’s watched the whole thing. As a child, she doesn’t have to answer any questions herself.
“I thought you did well at the part where they tried to insinuate you abducted me from the professor’s house.”
“That’s not what they said.”
“They kind of did.”
Shinichi doesn’t try to contradict her any further. “What did you think about the part about my future plans?”
She gives him a look. “That’s the part you’re worried about? They asked you all kinds of questions about deeply traumatizing stuff!”
She’s worried about me, Shinichi realises. The sentiment warms his heart.
“I know, but I expected that. I had a strategy.”
“If you must know, it sounded a bit awkward, but mostly reasonable.”
Shinichi makes a non-committal sound. Even if she’s right, it doesn’t bring him any closer to answers.
“So…”, she says, “are you gonna make any life-changing calls?”
Shinichi squints at her, suspiciously.
“You know to tell some people you’re back before they hear it from the press, now that you’re officially allowed to?”
“I guess I should do that…”
“Yes you should”, Haibara says, “Besides, we kind of need a place to live. The FBI probably isn’t gonna kick you out right away, but at some point.”
“I have a house.”, Shinichi says, then he reconsiders. “Well, my parents have a house. I hope they still have it. They could have sold it.”
Haibara looks at him like that’s not quite the thing she was referring to, but eventually she just nods.
“Then you better find that out.”
They call Professor Agasa first. Shinichi still feels guilty for the way he and Haibara left the Professor all those years ago, even though it was for his own safety. They don’t need to worry about the number—Shinichi’s had it memorised ever since he was a little boy.
They put the phone on speaker. The professor answers on the fifth ring.
Shinichi feels his hands shaking, but his voice is surprisingly firm.
“Hi professor”, he says, “It’s Shinichi.”
“Shinichi?”, the professor asks, “I hope you’re not trying your hand at practical jokes again, Ayumi-kun, those aren’t things to joke about-“
“It’s us”, Haibara interrupts.
“Ai-kun?”
“Yes”, she says, “I am Ai Haibara,”, she lowers her voice, “also known as Shiho Miyano, or Sherry. Shinichi and I managed to bring the Black Organisation down.”
“Also, there is a mole on your butt.”, Shinichi says.
Haibara throws him a weird look.
“Shinichi! It really is you! I had my hopes but-“ The professor’s voice breaks and something in Shinichi’s chest does as well.
“Yes.”, Shinichi says. “We’re coming home, professor. We’ve done it. It’s finally over.”
It feels more real telling him than all the reporters.
Haibara looks at her watch.
“If you turn on the TV right about now, you should be able to get all the details.”, Haibara says. Her voice sounds strangely choked. Shinichi looks at her. Of course this is affecting her. The professor was the one that took her in when she didn’t have anybody. He had believed her, even before Shinichi did.
Haibara gives him her ‘Stop staring you creep’-look, but it’s not very malicious.
“Professor?”, Shinichi asks, “Can I- I mean is my- is my house still waiting for me?”
“Yes, yes!”, the professor hurries to answer, “Ran-kun has made sure someone was there to clean it—your parents didn’t quite want to give it up, I might have told them not to, but yes, it’s still there, and in good condition.”
“That’s good.”, Shinichi says. Suddenly he can’t wait to go. Go home. “C’mon Haibara, let’s go- we’ll come, alright?”
“Of course, Shinichi, Ai-kun, I’m so happy-“
“Me too”, Shinichi says. It’s true, He’s starting to feel it.
“Oh but Shinichi? Make sure to call your father. He’s been giving himself a hard time…”
Shinichi feels guilty thinking about his parents. He’s barely thought about them at all. But now, he just wants to get home.
“I will.”, he promises before saying good-bye. No, not good-bye. See you soon. Much different.
“Let’s go.”, he says to Haibara. “I’ll call my parents on the way.”
Things don’t turn out to be as easy. As soon as they try to leave the station, childhood services stop them. Apparently, they’ve been looking for Haibara all over the place.
Shinichi shots her a sideward glance. Of course, rationally, he is not a suitable care-giver for a twelve-year-old girl, no matter how much time they’ve spent on the run together. But at the same time, he can’t imagine being separated from her now—they’re family. They’ve been through so much.
Before he can even try to start to think of something to convince them, Haibara starts crying terribly. She hides herself behind him and clutches to his arm like it’s her lifeline while sobbing into his shirt hysterically.
Shinichi can tell her real crying and her fake crying apart pretty easily, but apparently the social worker can’t, so he does his best to play his part and try and comfort her. It’s like a weird game of good cop, bad cop.
In the end, they agree to let Haibara go home with him—but only as a temporary solution, until something else is figured out. And they are going to be checked on.
Shinichi’s fine with the checking. As for the temporary bit—they’re gonna work it out.
They even get a ride home, Megure puts a young officer up to the task. He’s only a couple years older than Shinichi, and he’s never met him before. Of course not. How would he?
Shinichi actually has to look up his parents’ phone number. He finds one on his father’s page—it’s for business contacts and connects him to the secretary, but Shinichi can convince her to interrupt his fathers frantic writing session, that is, without a doubt, a last minute effort to please his publishers.
It’s good to hear that some things haven’t changed.
The phone call itself is weird. It’s all emotional and stilted and his parents seem to blame themselves for so many things, which is just plain weird to Shinichi—he made his own decisions taking on that case. Hasn’t it always been this way? It feels weird to be confronted with their guilt now.
In any case, they promise to jump on the next flight. Shinichi doesn’t really know how to react to that, but at least he has about twenty-four hours time to figure that out. It takes some time to get to Tokyo from Los Angeles, no matter how many strings you pull.
The professor waits for them in the house. Shinichi is so happy to see him, even more than he knew talking on the phone and for a while, they just sit together and explain. The professor leaves them to settle in, eventually, and they start to take in the house properly.
It’s in a good state, like the professor said, well-kept, but clearly empty, and it has been for a while. Shinichi can barely detect any traces of the time when Shuichi Akai used to live hear disguised as Subaru Okiya, but the marks of his own time are just to clear. It’s not like he just left—his math homework isn’t still lying on his desk or anything, but there are just so many memories flooding his mind it’s almost unbearable.
Haibara strolls around more curious than anything. She’s been in here before, but she never lived here, so it must be different for her. She can still sense his discomfort, but she doesn’t say anything. They are good at leaving room for each other’s pain. Not in a bad way, it’s more like he feels he’s still allowed to feel it. She understands, at least a little bit. And in any case, her company helps ease his discomfort anyway. No matter how long this house has been his home, for the past four years, his home was Haibara.
They spent the afternoon bringing the little amount of things they own from the FBI apartment to the house. It’s not a lot, mostly Haibara’s lab utensils and the cat tree for a cat they no longer have, but it’s something to do. Eventually, they put sheets on in Shinichi’s room and the guest room and go to sleep. Tomorrow’s gonna be a new day. The first new day of their lives.
-
They first look at the media again the nest day at breakfast. The professor had the foresight to bring some food over for them, since their fridge is completely empty.
“Looks like everything’s going over pretty well.”, Haibara says, which is good coming from a chronical pessimist like her.
“No signs of anyone connecting you to Sherry?”
“No, but that can still happen.” Haibara clicks on another news side.
“Well, then we’ll deal with it when it comes to that.”, the professor says.
Just as he’s finished the sentence, Shinichi’s home phone starts ringing.
Three pairs of eyes stare at the receiver.
“I didn’t think that was still connected.”, Shinichi says.
“Your parents must have kept paying the bill.”, the professor muses.
Haibara just grabs the phone and picks it up.
“At the Kudou residence?”, she says, sounding much older than twelve.
Her eyebrows raise as she listens to whatever the command is, then she covers the mouthpiece with her palm.
“They are asking you for another interview.”
Shinichi frowns. “Didn’t I say everything there is to know at the press conference?”
“It’s a magazine called Red Hearts. Apparently, they want to ask their own questions.”
“That’s a weird name. Is it a true crime magazine or something?”
Haibara looks at him. “I’m pretty sure they mostly do celebrity gossip.”
Oh.
“Oh.”
Haibara gives him another look, then she pulls her hand off the mouthpiece again.
“I’m sorry, but Kudou-san isn’t available for interviews at the moment.”
And with that, she hangs up.
“Thanks.”, Shinichi says, but before he can say anymore, his phone rings again.
“You might want to unplug that”, the professor suggests.
-
After breakfast, Hattori calls. The call actually comes through, because unlike what feels like a million gossip magazines, Hattori calls his cell phone.
“Have you heard about Neechan?”, Hattori asks without a greeting. “I was so busy wrapping everything up, I only got Kazuha’s text this morning…”
“Ran?”, Shinichi asks, and feels fear growing in him, “What about her?”
“Reporters cornered her about your being back at her concert last night. I don’t think she’d seen the news yet, and she just collapsed.”
Shinichi feels his heart speed up.
“Is she alright?”
“She’s at the hospital now, but she’ll be fine. I think it’s some kind of stress-shock thing.”
“I see.”
Shinichi curses himself internally.
“Do you think I can-?”
He doesn’t need to finish his question.
“Only family’s allowed to visit right now. Everything else is too much stress.”
“Yeah, that makes sense.”
“Do you want me to come over?”, Hattori asks, carefully. He’s offering his comfort.
“No, that’s alright, you have your job to do.”
“If you’re sure.”
“Yes.”
Shinichi relays what happened to Haibara and the professor in short sentences.
“I should have called her right away.”
“You should have.”, Haibara says.
Shinichi sighs. He knows that’s who she meant the previous day at the police station, but to be honest, he doesn’t know what he could have said to Ran at all.
He had left her without an explanation, so shortly after they’d gotten together, and now she has her own life. She’s so successful (not that Shinichi’s surprised about that, she’s brilliant) and happy, probably. Coming back to that now doesn’t feel right. He doesn’t have a right to interfere with it.
“I didn’t want to mess her life up all over again.”, he says.
The other two just stare at him.
“Oh Shinichi”, the professor says, “that was gonna happen anyway, no matter what you did.”
-
His parents arrive in the early afternoon. It’s even weirder than the phone call, all messy and emotional.
They keep hugging him and promising to do better, to take care of everything and Shinichi isn’t quite sure what that even means. He’s glad to see them, but they’re just- so much and he isn’t sure what to do with all that affection.
And there is something else about them, the way they look at him.
Haibara of course doesn’t notice it anymore, having been there through all of it, and the professor has overlooked it quite easily. Other people have looked, of course, but it hadn’t mattered as much—they didn’t know him.
But with his parents, Shinichi could see their disgust at his mangled body, and their terror at the weakness in his legs and his occasional painful huffs. All the pills and the tests had taken a toll on him. Shinichi’s entire being freezes at the thought of those labs—but he’s come to be used to the side effects, or at least he can ignore them. Seeing other people’s reactions makes it worse.
Still, his parents offer their help readily, even desperately, and they get directed on dealing with the media—as in, actually dealing with it, beyond unplugging the telephone.
In the meantime, Shinichi tries to leave a message for Ran. He owes her something, an explanation at least, even if he wants so much more. He knows she still has the same phone number and he knows that by heart, so he calls her. She doesn’t pick up. She probably doesn’t even have her phone, a source of stress, and she’s in the hospital to avoid that. Shinichi still leaves a message, then he sets out to find another way.
He ends up finding a number for the band’s management on the internet.
He isn’t really surprised when Sonoko picks up.
She lets of her business greeting.
“Sonoko, it’s Shinichi.”
The other line is silent.
“Listen, I know I treated Ran terribly, ghosting her for all these years, but-“ He breaks. He can’t make excuses for himself. He knows why he did what he did, but it doesn’t make it a better thing to do.
“Anyway, I owe her an explanation at least, if she wants it. Please tell her that when she’s better.”
“I’ve seen the news.”, Sonoko says, and Shinichi understands that she understands, at least at some level.
“Yes.” He doesn’t know what to say to that.
“I’ll tell her as soon as she can have visitors.”
“Thank you.”, Shinichi breathes, the relief lightening his chest immensely.
“You better behave like a decent human.”, Sonoko says, and the tension is falling from her voice.
“Of course”, Shinichi says.
“I’m glad you’re still alive, jerk.”
With that, she hangs up.
-
Shinichi doesn’t hear from Sonoko or Ran for the next couple of days. His parents dodge questions about her for him and sick the police on reporters tenting in front of the house.
Hattori comes by, as well as social workers to check up on Haibara.
The professor and his parents join forces with her to get them both to therapy, and Shinichi can’t find a reason to argue.
Someone starts an online petition for him to get a high school diploma in recognition for his service to public security, which of course, makes no sense whatsoever, since those things are completely unconnected.
He actually gets a tentative offer to work for the Public Security Bureau from Hattori’s boss as soon as he’s recovered, but Shinichi declines. If he can help it, he will never hunt an evil organisation again.
“I’ll stick with the regular murders.”, he says, which earns him a horrified look by his mother.
“I’ve always been a detective”, he tells her, later, “I couldn’t stop if I wanted to.”
She smiles and reaches to straighten his hair.
“I know, Shin-chan. Can you just try and never get in danger again?”
“I’ll try.”
Truthfully, he’s almost surprised he hasn’t run into a dead body yet. They still follow him around, even after all these years.
If he was in any way superstitious he might think the thought jinxed him, because the very next day, after therapy, he and Haibara try to do something normal for once and get hot chocolate (he’s not allowed to have coffee anymore, it makes the shivering worse) a guest drops dead in the café.
Shinichi solves the case and Megure comes to talk to him afterwards.
“My superiors and I had an idea, concerning your situation right now…”
Shinichi asks to think it over.
-
When Ran calls, he doesn’t expect it. He honestly didn’t expect her to call him herself at all—he had been prepared for a message from Sonoko, or Hattori, maybe.
He’s actually expecting to hear back from Haibara when he needs to pick her up. She went over to the professor’s house to be reintroduced to the remaining Detective Boys and Shinichi is almost as anxious about it as she is.
He’s basically just staring at the clock waiting for her call. The circus has died down a little, and now Shinichi finds himself with more time at his hands then he knows what to do with. Most of it is occupied by therapy and doctor’s appointments to help with his arguably bad physical condition, but there still is too much calm to take in.
He doesn’t even look at the caller ID when he picks up.
“Do you need me-?”, he starts, assuming it’s Haibara.
“Shinichi.”, she interrupts him and suddenly his mouth is all dry.
“Oh, I thought you were Haibara.”, he says, a little nonsensically. “I was supposed to pick her up.”
He doesn’t really know why he explains himself.
“Ai-chan.”, Ran says, “I heard she was with you. I’m glad. We all thought she was dead.”
Too, is what she doesn’t say.
Haibara’s name sounds weird in her voice. Shinichi hasn’t heard it said like that in so long. He wonders if Ran finds it strange that he calls her by her first name.
“She’s a good kid.”, he finds himself saying.
“I know.”, Ran says. He almost forgot she knew Haibara, too.
“Listen, Ran”, he says, determined, not so sure what for.
“I did some things to you that aren’t excusable and nothing I can say can make them undone.”, the sentence comes out too fast, to rapid. He wills himself to slow down. “But I did have my reasons. If you want to know them, you have a right to.” He stutters. “I guess what I’m saying is, I owe you an explanation. Only if you want it, of course.”
Ran sighs through the line. There is something else. Shinichi thinks she might be crying, but he can’t be sure.
“Are you okay?”, he asks hesitantly.
“I’m- this is just a lot.”, she says.
“I understand completely.”, Shinichi says, but he is still disappointed. He wants to see her so bad.
“No, wait, I still want to talk to you.” She hesitates and Shinichi’s hear soars. “Can you meet me tomorrow?”
-
Shinichi doesn’t tell anyone about the meeting beforehand. He probably should, but he just can’t bring himself to. Every time he tries to bring up the topic, something stops him. And then it’s time to go.
So when he sits down at the small bar Ran picked out, nobody knows what he is doing. It’s a strange bar. He seems to be the only customer, but he’s also here quite early in the day, not really the best business time for bars.
There are billiard tables in one corner. Shinichi wonders if Ran plays. The old man behind the counter takes his order and Shinichi flips over the card looking for non-alcoholic options (alcohol also doesn’t mix well with his body), landing at chocolate ice cream. Well, why not.
Ran arrives only a few minutes after him.
They stare at each other for a second.
“It’s private here.”, Ran says, obviously feeling the need to explain the strange meeting place, “no paparazzies, no dead bodies. Hopefully.”
Shinichi smiles a little, eyeing the old man. “I really do hope so.”
They sit down.
“How are you doing?”, Ran asks, like they are just casual acquaintances catching up. Her eyes slide over his mangled body.
Shinichi shrugs. “I’m getting better. Lots of physical therapy, and other therapy and special diets.” His hands tighten. “I’m probably going to get a cane.”
“I see.”, Ran says.
Shinichi meets her gaze. “Did you-?”
“I read the articles.”, she shivers, “About the experiments and-“
Shinichi can’t help but shiver as well. He averts his gaze.
“I’m sorry you had to read that.”
She shakes her head. “No, I’m glad. There is only one truth, right? Even when it hurts me.”
Shinichi has to look at her again.
“I’m sorry.”, he whispers, Even though he had sworn not to say those words. He doesn’t have a right to ask for her forgiveness. He doesn’t deserve it. But he wants it, so much.
“Tell me what happened.”, she says, her voice quiet.
Shinichi tells her.
He talks about it all. How it started, Conan, how he realised he had to disappear, all the times they almost got him and how they finally did. His escape. Haibara, and even her cat. She doesn’t interrupt him, not even once. He talks for hours. When he is finished, she is silent.
“I’m sorry”, he says again, and mentally scolds himself.
“No”, Ran says, “it’s just- I understand.”
He stares at her.
“I understand what you did and why. I know you. You had to do it. But I would have understood back then, too. You could have told me right away, when you told the professor. Or in Kyoto, or any of the other times. In London. I would have understood.”
“I-“ Shinichi doesn’t know what to say.
“I could have helped you—there are so many things in that story, if I’d known, it would have been so much easier—why didn’t you just tell me?”
His throat is dry, he’s not sure if it’s because of all the talking he did, or some other reason.
“I didn’t want to hurt you.”, he says, eventually.
Ran doesn’t cry. She doesn’t yell either. It scares him a little. He wants her emotions so he can deal with them, but she’s so calm.
“You just hurt me more, can’t you see that? I always knew you weren’t telling me everything and then you just disappeared, I worried so much, I cried all the time.”
“I know, I- it was wrong of me.”
She nods and looks at the floor.
Shinichi wants to see in her eyes and make it all right, no matter how.
I love you, he thinks and maybe it’s even more true than ever before.
He doesn’t. He has no right to say it, even less so, than ‘I’m sorry’.
“Ran”, he says, desperately, “do you want to never see me again? Because I would understand and I would, just tell me-“
She looks up and this time her eyes are full of tears.
“Of course not, you idiot.”
He feels his eyes fill with tears as well. It’s stupid—this is a good thing and he’s never been a crier, but he can’t hold them back.
She surges forward and hugs him so tightly he almost can’t breathe, but in that moment, he doesn’t want to. He just wants to be held by her forever.
“You’ve been my best friend for almost all my life”, she says against him, “I thought you were dead and I never got over it. I’m so glad you’re still alive!”
The tears come harder.
“I don’t deserve that”, he whispers in her hair, “not from you.”
“Oh Shinichi”, she says, “you are so much better than you know. You did so much good and even if you hurt me, you deserve all the things in the world for that.”
——-
Unedited, I’m sorry for typos and terrible writing but this is eleven pages long and I really need to go to bed.
For the last prompt (of the first week) of DCMK Emogust 09.08 — Stubbornness!!
A/N: Not sure if this fits the stubbornness theme but once I pictured them as kitties I just couldn’t stop squealing internally. I mean, who could resist kittens!AU?? So I had to do this because this is the only way I know how and I can’t for the life of me draw anything nice /cries/ @mintchocolateleaves @sup-poki
It is a truth universally acknowledged, that anyone in possession of a kitten must constantly be in need of new blankets. And curtains. Or something like that. Maybe it’s just my kitten, Ran thinks, as she regards her curtains sadly. They have threads sticking out every way all along the bottom hems.
Shinichi has shredded the ends of her new ones, and while these not quite brand new, at least they weren’t so obviously scruffy before Shinichi came along. Gathering the curtains, she tucks them up on the handles of her French doors out of Shinichi’s reach before turning to the kitten in question.
Shinichi has magically gone from ripping around the apartment when Ran first came home to sitting quietly in a corner with his head cocked to one side. He is a picture of cuteness. Spoiled cat knows he’s in trouble. His eyes are shining bright as if they’re glittering, making him look harmless and innocent. Ran knows better.
But Ran has a huge heart so she picks Shinichi up and sits him in the crook of her elbow, before tapping him on his velvety nose, saying “Don’t rip up the curtains ever again, okay?”
She stares into Shinichi’s blue eyes. Blue eyes stare back at her. Ran stares some more. She’s not going to lose to this cat again! Finally Shinichi looks away first. First ever win since Shinichi’s been with her! Small victories win the battle~, Ran tells herself as she carries Shinichi into the kitchen, placing him on the counter.
“What shall we have today? Chicken and turkey casserole or grilled seafood feast?” She asks Shinichi, chucking him on the chin. Ran pulls out two cans of cat food and sets them in front of Shinichi. She watches as Shinichi sniffs one, sniffs the other, and then instead walks toward the bag of rotisserie chicken Kazuha has brought over earlier for dinner.
Against the advice of the vet at the shelter, Ran ends up sharing bits of her chicken with Shinichi. If he goes bald early it is definitely his own fault for being so cute anyway.
---
Kazuha’s the one who wanted a cat first.
“I think having a pet will help alleviate my stress levels and provide me some company. At least that’s what Aoko-chan says.” She told Ran enthusiastically over coffee one day. Across from them, Sonoko made a face, “But then you’re gonna have to feed it and clean up its mess. Sounds like a lot more trouble to me.”
“She does look happier lately since she got Kaito,” Ran noted. About a month prior, while the four of them were on their way back from their weekly routine of doing grocery shopping together they had passed by a pet adoption event. She immediately had her eyes set on a stunning white Manx cat and decided to adopt it the moment it opened its blue eyes and stared back at her. The name displayed on its cage was “Kaito” and she never bothered to come up with a new name for him.
That’s how they end up on a Saturday morning at their local cat shelter, watching two kittens chase each other around in a pen. They run many rounds before the dark chocolate one abruptly stops in its tracks and turns to bat the cream kitten on the head, hard. The other kitten is stunned for a moment, and then suddenly the high-speed chase turns into a round of head-bopping. Kazuha is confused. Will there be bloodshed any moment? She turned to look at Ran, is this how cats usually show affection?
They turn to ask the shelter staff and not a minute later when they turn their heads back, the cream kitten now has the head of the other kitten cradled between its paws, very diligently licking the tuft of dark brown fur sticking out from its head.
Kazuha watches with some disquietude as Ran squats so that her face is nearer to the kittens and makes cooing noises. The brown kitten’s eyes fly open and Kazuha swears he’s glaring at her for interrupting him. On the other hand, the cream Birman kitten now just looks sleepy, like all that has worn him out. He’s flopped onto the floor, one paw curled possessively over the other kitten’s neck.
When Ran reaches down to pick up the cream kitten and cuddle it against her cheek, the brown one gives a sort of squeaking noise, and peeked his eyes open and shut it close again, not making any effort to get up. Kazuha makes a squealing noise herself, but for very different reasons. Surprisingly though, instead of lashing out at Ran’s face, the kitten starts making this odd whirring noise, and rubs his head against Ran’s cheek. He’s got really light brown markings around his eyes and snout.
“This one’s name is Shinichi!” Ran says brightly, immediately sold.
Somehow, they end up taking both kittens. The chocolate one latches onto Kazuha’s sweater, snuggling into the soft wool when Kazuha picks him up. That’s when Kazuha notices he has tiny white socks on all his four paws.
“Snowfrost Socks would be a fitting name for him, Kazuha-chan!” suggested Ran.
“I’m not calling him Snowfrost Socks, Ran-chan.”
Kazuha can hear the pout.
She lifts her kitten to eye level and looks into his dark green eyes. “It says here that his name is Heiji.” She grinned.
---
Ran regards the kitten which has been super active since she brought him home. She’d set up his bed for the night and shown him where his water bowl is. After the tour was done, he had promptly jumped onto Ran’s favorite plush bean bag chair and jumped down onto the carpet, before jumping up again. Seems like he’s found his spot.
“You’ll have to give them extra love and attention as they have abandonment issues from being abandoned by their mother.” That’s what the shelter staff told them. She’s not sure how to show extra love to a cat that literally does nothing but nap.
So she leaves Shinichi to it, and sets up her laptop to get some work done on an overdue paper. Barely five minutes into it, Ran feels something pulling on her pajama pants. She looks down to find Shinichi sitting at her feet, the claws of one paw hooked onto the hem of her right pant leg. Absentmindedly, she reaches out a hand to pat Shinichi on the head, once, twice, then resumes her typing.
Then it happens again.
So she lifts Shinichi up onto her desk and coos over him for a bit, scratching his chin and tickling him behind his ears until he’s purring and pliant on the desk, eyes drooped close. When Shinichi looks like he’s fallen back asleep, Ran returns to her report.
But Shinichi wakes up again. This time, he thinks it’s a good idea to jump up and step on her keyboard. Her laptop makes a number of alarming noises and Ran scrunched her nose up. She shifts Shinichi off the laptop four times before she decides he’s probably not going to get any work done until she gives Shinichi some attention.
Ran suddenly realizes this must be those abandonment issues coming into play! Picking him up, she moves them both to the shag rug in her living room and pulls out the catnip mouse she had gotten together with the other supplies earlier.
Shinichi only gives a couple of half-hearted pats at the mouse however, before he flops onto the rug, asleep. Ran watches the kitten sleeping, waits until it seems like he’s properly fallen asleep and sneaks back to her work.
Fifteen minutes tops. Shinichi is back at her ankles mewling again.
Ran discovers a pattern with her new kitten. Shinichi only wants attention when she’s trying to get things done on her laptop, or cooking herself some dinner—basically any time she is not playing with him means it’s petting time!
Rana keeps repeating to herself, “abandonment issues, abandonment issues” and puts up with Shinichi’s stubbornness. He makes up for it when he snuggles up against Ran’s neck at night, warm and cozy, his steady purr a lullaby to them both.
---
Heijii is bristling on the couch, his fur still ruffled from his earlier freak-out, hissing and scratching at Sonoko when she’d tried to pick him up. Kazuha adds “precious baby kitty” to the list of names he must remember to tell visitors not to call Heiji.
Half speaking to herself, half to Heiji, Kazuha says, “I’m going to stay forever single if this keeps up.”
First it had been this guy whom Kazuha had invited in after their date. He was rather persistent and insisted they dove straight into a make-out session. He abruptly left because Heiji had bitten his ankles when he placed a hand onto Kazuha’s lap. She tried to reason that Heiji was just being territorial—Kazuha’s lap is usually his after all. Teruaki-kun lasted longer, but that was also probably because he was less aggressive. Heiji had leapt up to his thighs, claws digging into his jeans only when he’d suggested to Kazuha, “Why don’t you put your kitty in the bathroom? I don’t feel comfortable when he’s staring at us like that.”
Usually they get the most angry when instead of immediately tending to their wounds, Kazuha picks Heiji and asks, alarmed, “Did you get any blood under your claws?!”
“Hygiene is very important for growing young cats,” she tells Sonoko, the only one among them without a kitten. “Especially since they’ve been abandoned by their mother, there’s no one to teach him to clean out his paws properly so I have to be extra careful.”
Kazuha insists the problem must lie with those guys. Heijii has never scratched her in his life, he's only ever had sweet cuddles from her precious baby kitten.
(Albeit being really grumpy at times, more often than not.)
When Kazuha forgets to feed him some snacks, Heiji starts wailing, a whining pathetic mewl that sounds a lot like crying. The same thing happens whenever her attention is divided and lies on anything else other than him. Really, this kitten could be extremely stubborn. But once Kazuha leaves what she’s doing to attend to Heiji, the kitten doesn’t seem that interested in playing with her.
Some days she comes home after a having a really bad time at school, or work, or both. But whenever she sees Heiji’s tiny face relaxing as she scratches the back of his ears though, her heart always melts, along with her bad mood. Heiji could be rough to visitors (Kazuha fails to notice that it’s mostly toward male presence only) but he’s actually a really big softie. He has truly won her heart.
---
Playdates for Shinichi and Heiji usually end up with hours of cleaning for whoever hosts. The two go absolutely mad around each other, tearing around whatever room they are in, displaying some form of kitty-parkour as they vault over side tables, bounce off armchairs and balance on ledges, knocking over anything in the way. Kazuha and Ran soon learn to put away breakable objects and secure anything that can moved by a 4-pound kitten any time Shinichi and Heiji get together but collectively they still manage to smash uncountable bowls, many vases, and notably one extremely expensive frame from Kazuha’s father, a half dozen coffee mugs and—Ran sort of loses track along the way.
It’s Ran who has the bright idea to ask Aoko if they could have a playdate with her cat. Kazuha feels pretty anxious at first, since her kitten has a reputation of attacking random people at times. It’s only ever been Shinichi and Heiji, because they seem to be very close even back in their shelter days. Ran has no worries about Shinichi getting along with Aoko’s kitten, mainly because Shinichi is pretty reserved and doesn’t really bother anyone but her.
From what she’s head from Ran and Kazuha, their kittens are fairly possessive of each other and their owners. Indeed they look strikingly different, but Aoko gathers for herself that both cats are pretty similar as far as cat-personality goes. Her own kitten, Kaito, is nowhere as guarded as Shinichi and Heiji but he has his own fair share of stubbornness that she has to deal with.
Unlike Shinichi and Heiji, Kaito is good at socializing with humans, especially with the ladies. He never seems to mind whenever any of Aoko’s girl friends pet him on his head, or stroke his fur, or pick him up and cuddle him around. Kaito is very welcoming and likes receiving any attention from anyone. Aoko often brings Kaito along with her on their girls days out because he’s such a friendly kitten.
Sonoko adores Kaito so much so that she always squishes him to her cheeks and chest whenever she sees him. “It’s something about Kaito that’s so charming,” Sonoko gushed on one sunday afternoon when they were out in the usual coffeeshop (pet-friendly, yes). Aoko doesn’t get to hold him much whenever Sonoko is around because the latter often insist for the kitten to be held by her. The short-haired girl has now made up her mind on getting her own kitty cat as well.
Kaito always knows when Aoko’s leaving the house, and he’d always whine to be brought along with her. Aoko doesn’t want to say that she can get jealous at times. (Especially when he’s comfortable nestled on Akako-chan’s chest, she grumbled to Ran once.) And every night Kaito always creeps up to her bed and settles on her shoulder. It’s as if he doesn’t want to be left alone and will do anything to be with her.
Apparently, all goes well. Aoko’s apartment hasn’t been decorated with broken pieces of glassware or furniture.
All goes well, that is, until Kaito decides to lick Shinichi with his pink, slobbery tongue. The look on Shinichi’s face screams shock (Ran has learnt to read her cat) and Heiji, offended on his littermate’s behalf, shoots a paw out with claws extended and smacks Kaito on his face.
The round of screeching, yowling, whining and skittering claws on Aoko’s parquet floor goes on for twenty minutes until Ran and Kazuha bravely wade into the fray and grab their own kittens. Kaito manages to escape to the top of the washing machine in the laundry room. He’s not trembling in fear like Ran and Kazuha expected, and instead sort of looks like he is grinning happily.
“It could’ve been worse,” Ran says, ever the optimist.
Aoko puts her hands on her hips, nodding to herself, “I’ve never seen Kaito this way before. I think we should let the three of them have playdates more often. It’s good exercise!”
Shinichi and Heiji are completely quiet, save the occasional purrs on the way home, both asleep and exhausted from their earlier exertion. They are curled up around each other like a cream and brown yin and yang symbol.
