ik it's kinda late but pride month is still there,kinda, so wanted to talk abt smth related.
this year i went to first pride parade in my life. it was fun and mostly focused on celebrating love and demanding more rights for queer ppl. which is cool.
however i noticed few things that made me.. kinda sad. and alienated. sure i was happy for everyone there who made it to come and celebrate. but i couldn't help but feel it was focused in the "main" queer identities that don't need explaining anymore these days. and... we all there, as part of community, already know how these work and what kind of help they need and what their life look like in our country atm.
but. there was like, aro and ace community mentioned only once. and the rest was about alloromantic and allosexual relationships and orientations.
I felt.. kinda sad and disappointed. at some point I focused only on the fact to be grateful they talked about nonbinary ppl more and about trans ppl in general. and it helped a bit, and I felt like I belonged for once. btw during event I got misgendered at least twice anyway but i tried not focusing on that...
so yea I'm glad I'm kinda seen for some parts that I am. while quietly being sad and disappointed about other parts of me and rest of community ignored or forgotten.
maybe next year it will be better. maybe next year I will have enough courage to either volunteer to help with making additional stand(?) that would be about awareness about aro&/ace community. so we would be seen and appreciated and loved more.
that or finding a way to bring ppls attention about it in any other way not sure how to yet. despite hating receiving attention as an individual. maybe at least a pretty banner but controversial enough to be noticed. wanna try do that for my community.
aro& /ace community. yes that how i write it since a longer while. we can be separate communities in some meaning but we share the "a" in lgbtqia+ and there's no shame in that. it's beautiful to share similar experiences. not the same but similar in a way, how most ppl even forget what's the difference between being aro and being ace. but the main question for the whole allo dominated world is, what's the difference between actual romantically admiring someone and sexually craving someone? cuz I noticed it's connected most of the time for them, maybe that's why, they ignore it can be different for us?
but anyway. I wanted to say to all ppl from aro and ace spectrum communities, i see you, we are in this together, we gonna have to make the world to finally notice and respect us, we are needed and valid and deserving all best.
so really! if u didn't hear it yet this month from anyone, pls know i support u. all of u;
no matter if you are partnered or not, mono or polyam, aroace, aro allo, allo ace, queerplatonic, aroflux, demiace, less known microlabels too.
shout out about and for aro ppl!;
- aro ppl who crave romance and being loved just to learn what it feels like to receive romantic love without feeling like giving it themselves, and actually trying to date but not knowing how to make it work.
- aro ppl that feel repulsed by thinking of anything romance related.
- aro ppl who are open and honest about being aro and keep helping to spread awareness about being aro despite how many alloromantic ppl try to shut them down.
- aro ppl that aren't sure what they feel and are scared to talk about it, and dont know how to deal with not fitting into alloromantic standards.
- aro ppl who hate being perceived as someone's crush or potential date and who rather be perceived as unavaliable, cold, or lie on their status, than come out to ppl who make them feel unsafe.
- aro ppl who are too scared to set their boundaries in relationships and friendships but slowly work on this to let their ppl know why it's too hard to relate to some things and that they prefer not having some talks at all for emotional comfort reasons.
- aro ppl stuck in "just friends"/"it's complicated"/"fwb" things cuz they're unable to explain how being aro works to their "partners" and are scared to leave/ being left while still valuing the sexual experiences as bonding activities and wanting "smth more" but not liking traditional allo relationships at all so choosing to stay in the said compromised settings for the sake of other person's comfort.
- aro ppl who genuinely want sexual connections and need them to function just without being considered as heartless, manipulators, sexual objects, whores, or fake due to simply being aro but not ace.
- aro ppl masking and coping through romance books/shows/other media cuz of lack of aro representation in mainstream media and feeling like having to get used to it or dissociating during watching/reading these.
- aro ppl who want smth more meaningful than surface level friendships but are scared of being intensive with friends cuz don't wanna be seen as weird or too clingy.
- aro ppl who are also aplatonic and just wanna live their life on their own and are tired of random ppl pointing out how lonely it must be to stay single and alone forever.
- aro ppl who want to achieve big things in society but feel small and discouraged and scared of the world judging them about being aro.
- aro ppl who are genuinely confused about relationships, friendships, family dynamics and healthy connections, and need reassurance they aren't a burden or third wheel or less worthy of things or not admirable enough, comparing to their friends and partners and family.
- aro ppl who are carefree, clingy, touchy, expressive, easily attached to ppl, super affectionate, not defining any things as romantic, choosing to love ppl in their own non traditional way, who are in queerplatonic relationships, who openly love their bestfriends without caring if society mistakes it for acting romantic.
- aro ppl who are romance neutral, who are romance positive, whose attraction is fluid and situational and depend on trust they have toward ppl.
- aro ppl who choose to be in traditional relationships and marriages to pass as alloromantic to avoid judgment, while mostly being in bestfriends dynamics with their spouse.
- aro ppl who are not giving a fuck about defining relationships and are being okay with any kind of love in relationships as long as it's respectful, comforting, genuine, and consensual.
- aro ppl who don't like being aro and kinda hope to be more demi aro cuz feeling of someday having to disappoint someone is way too overhelming and too scary for them.
- aro ppl who decided to leave their relationships once they realised they're aro after coming out and respectfully explaining their reasons to their ex partners.
- aro ppl that are made fun of for not being interested in relationships and called immature/childish or too silly cuz of no experiencing romantic attraction
shout out about and to ace ppl!!;
- ace ppl who are aro as well!
- ace ppl that use unique microlabels that aren't usually recognised and are misunderstood even by queer community
- ace ppl who have been through wild ride of hormones during puberty and hated it and hated their own body, and hated being sexualised by peers, due to not knowing they might be ace at that time.
- ace ppl who still want sex to feel sexy and pretty and validated and close physically and emotionally to someone, and to please their partners, and to have kids, and to just enjoy it once a while.
- ace ppl who are kinky af and like to use kinks as fun thing to do when bored, or to heal traumas using kinks, either sfw or nsfw, any reasons.
- ace ppl who simply wanna participate in kinks either emotionally or romantically or in any other way provide care and love for their partners in soft not sexual way, for example sfw petplay.
- ace ppl who need lots reassurance and emotional support due to feeling like they're broken or heartless or selfish or prude, due to being judged for being ace.
- ace ppl who just want soft platonic or queerplatonic connections cuz it feels more safe, cuz they don't want risk romancing with ppl if that means having to come out as ace but not feeling safe or ready for it.
- ace ppl that are living in places and conditions that make them to experience/see sexual things without really wanting it but not knowing a different way to live.
- ace ppl who proudly and loudly show their asexuality in society and are willing to take risks of being judged or harassment.
- ace ppl whose asexuality fluctuated and changed over time and required lots courage and self reflecting to confirm they are ace to themselves.
- ace ppl who aren't sure if they're ace or traumatised sexually, or both.
- ace ppl who are partnered, have kids and never came out to their partner and family out of fear of disappointing them or due to feeling like a fraud.
- ace ppl who experience sexual intrusive thoughts, and can't tell the difference between them and actual urges due to their intensity and end up feeling very bad for having them, so they worry if their asexuality is valid cuz of these thoughts.
- ace ppl who are hypersexual, and do sexual things multiple times a week or day, and dont know a better way to function from having no access to therapy.
- ace ppl who are easily angry and triggered and overhelmed with sexual topics and become mean about it when their boundaries are crossed like that too often.
- ace ppl who are sex repulsive, and tend to isolate lots cuz of not knowing how to deal with feeling it.
- ace ppl who experience gender dysphoria and body dysmorphia that make them feel double guilty and gross about their sexual experiences so they choose to do sexual things mostly for their partners instead.
- ace ppl who are completely unable to relate to the allosexual world and refuse to waste their energy to try understand it only for sake of acephobic ppl pressuring them to try.
- ace ppl who are still learning to accept themselves!
happy last day of pride month ><
and let's keep the queer agenda going always, not just during pride month!
please stay alive, safe and as healthy as possible. love y'all <2
