Deaf!Peter trying out his new suit for the first time
Peter: Woah, Mr. Stark this is so cool! The suit is amazing!
Tony: It's got quite a lot of special features kid
Karen (AI): *smaller screen focuses in on Tony's lips and brings up captions that Peter can read*
Peter: *confused* You programmed my suit with captions?
Tony: *smirking* Well duh, I can't have you running around clueless when there's too much background noise or if someone's turned away while they're explaining the plan. That also works with the comm system too and if your AI ever goes down, but your suit still has power, I added a feature where you can alert me that you're on your own so I can intervene if need be
Peter: *pauses slightly as he's reading along while Tony's speaking* Wow, thank you Mr. Stark! That's just— wow! This really helps a lot, thank you!
Tony: It works for other languages too. The captions will appear in English
Tony: *signing in Italian Sign Language* Including other sign languages
Karen: *shows Peter captions in English*
Peter: *signing in ASL and excited* It worked! You said it includes other sign languages for the captions!
Tony: *signing in ASL and laughing* Yes, just don't expect me to know anymore Italian. I can speak it, not sign it
Deaf!Peter in the kitchen making breakfast after a battle the day before. He doesn't have his hearing aids in because why would he at 6 in the morning when he doesn't think anyone else is going to be awake, especially since they had debriefed at 1 am, but he had stuck them into his hoodie pocket in case he needed them.
Lazily, he goes through the steps to make pancakes and he makes enough for everyone, which is a whole lot of pancakes. While he's cleaning up, Steve, the early riser he is, comes out of his bedroom with Bucky in tow because they had smelt breakfast. They hadn't expected the newest and youngest hero to be the one making the entire team breakfast, but Steve had to admit he was impressed and a little proud of Queens.
Steve walks into the kitchen and asked Peter from behind, "Peter, do you need any help with breakfast?"
Oblivious to the presence of the two super soldiers as he concentrated on making pancakes, Peter didn't respond since he couldn't hear him and hadn't seen him.
Steve was a bit surprised since the Peter he knew was always so polite, bent over backwards to call all of them by their official titles, was as respectful as possible, and seemed to constantly be talking with members of the team. Taking a step forward, Steve placed his hand on Peter's shoulder and Peter nearly jumped out of skin.
He whipped around to see Steve and Bucky staring at him before saying, "Geez! You can't sneak up on me like that!"
Steve looked at him confused before saying, "We walked in a few minutes ago and I just asked you if you needed help making breakfast. How is that sneaking?"
Peter sort of stares at Steve, trying to figure out what he was saying. His tired body and mind wasn't letting him lip read, which was never a great way to communicate but hey you do what you have to, to the fullest of his ability.
Rubbing his eyes, Peter just held up a hand to stop Steve from speaking anymore as he pulled his hearing aids out of his pocket. He put them in, allowed himself to adjust to the sudden massive influx of noise, and then lowered his hand before saying, "Okay, I'm ready. What did you say Mr. Rogers?"
Steve was a bit taken back because he hadn't known that Queens used hearing aids, but suddenly their interaction, and many others, made a lot more sense. "You're Deaf?"
Peter was confused by Steve's question before saying, "Yes? I have been since I was like five. Why do you—" and then he suddenly remembers that very few of the avengers actually knew he was Deaf since he was a pretty new addition to the regular team. Nodding a bit, he said, "And I'm assuming that never came up in conversation with you since you didn't know."
Up until now, Bucky had been quiet but he took now as an opportunity to interject himself. He waved a hand to get Peter's attention before signing, 'Do you know ASL?'
After the awkward moment of realizing he never told the leader of the avengers he was Deaf, Peter welcomed the distraction and grinned at Bucky's question. He loved talking in and about ASL. In response, he signed, 'Yes, I grew up using English and sign. You know ASL?'
Bucky nodded, 'I had to learn all of the major languages when I was the Winter Soldier. ASL is the 3rd most used language in America so it was one of the ones I learned.'
Steve watches Peter and Bucky talk. He knew some ASL but he was nowhere near fluent. He knew enough to have a conversation with Clint when he didn't want to wear his hearing aids, but that was about it. When Bucky and Peter's conversation came to an end, Steve waved a hand to get Peter's attention back. Slowly, and with awkward and shaking hands, Steve signed, 'If you don't want to wear your hearing aids, you don't have to. We want you to be comfortable.'
Peter was grinning from ear to ear as he took his aids out and put them away. He welcomed the silence as he tried to wrap his tired mind around the fact that two 100+ year old super soldiers just had a conversation with him in ASL as if it was the most normal thing in the world for superheros to do at 6 in the morning running on next to no sleep.
Deaf!Peter quipping in the middle of civil war and imagine someone on Cap's side is saying something back but Peter doesn't respond because he can't hear it so they ask something along the lines of 'Dude, are you Deaf or something?' and Peter catches the second half and says back, "What gave it away? The fact that I'm signing in between fights or are you just being ableist." And that shuts them up before Peter whoops them
Deaf!Peter starting to lose his hearing at a young age and learning ASL as his second language because his aunt wants to support him to the best of her ability
Deaf!Peter struggling to remember ASL grammar because it's different than English
Deaf!Peter sneakily helping Ned on a test by signing the right answer for each question
Deaf!Peter learning to spell all of the words in his science class because they either don't have signs or he has never learned a sign for them
Deaf!Peter getting in trouble for 'not paying attention' when he's asking his interpreter a question
Deaf!Peter having to defend being Deaf and going to a mainstream school
Deaf!Peter feeling scared in Deaf Space because he's still learning sign and doesn't consider himself fluent even though he's been learning since he was six or seven
Deaf!Peter not feeling welcome in hearing space because he 'doesn't talk normal' and tends to simcom
Deaf!Peter learning to lip read and 'act normal' to feel like he fits in
Deaf!Peter feeling like an inconvenience when he has to ask people to repeat what they said
Deaf!Peter telling his friends they don't have to learn sign if they don't want to, but they learn start learning anyways to try and support their friend
Deaf!Peter becoming confident in his Deafness as he gets older and more confident in himself in general
Deaf!Peter getting in touch with the New York Deaf community
Deaf!Peter becoming known as the 'Superhero that Signs' and interacts with Deaf kids as Spiderman
Deaf!Peter inspiring families as Spiderman to learn sign for their kids
Basically Peter gets tired of everyone worrying about him even though he has a problem
I hate when the team watches how I eat for a day and decides it's enough to get worried over. No one seems to understand that what I eat in a day isn't how I always eat. I can't help that when I get stressed, I can't eat anything. I can't help that some days I get so hungry that I can hardly control myself. I can't help everything that's changed since becoming Spiderman.
The team always seems to get worried about if I'm eating enough after we have missions. We get back and they all have a tradition of eating a late night meal together. I'm never hungry after missions, even if I should be ravenous, because of all the adrenaline still pumping through my body. It's hard for me to focus after missions and I tend to zone out while everyone else eats. Mr. Stark always orders me something because Mr. Rogers says, "Tony, he's a growing boy and he has an enhanced metabolism that's even faster than mine. He needs to eat something!"
No matter what's ordered, I never eat it. I just can't. The thought of eating after a mission makes me feel sick. They only worry more when it takes me a week or more to get back to normal. I can't help that it takes me time to get back into my routine and to feel normal again. I can't help that it takes me time for my anxiety to calm down. Since when did having anxiety become a crime? Every other avenger has issues, issues a lot worse than mine, but they only ever want to know how I'm doing. I'm doing fine. Sure, it takes me a week after a mission to be able to eat a full meal with everyone but I can't control how big or small my appetite is. Really, I'm doing fine. I just wish they wouldn't worry about me, especially when we have multiple missions in a span of a couple weeks. Someone is always nagging me to eat, but I can't eat when I'm stressed. I always tell them I'll eat when we get back, but I don't say when. Eventually I do eat, just not right after. My appetite always comes back, and it usually comes back strong for a couple of days. I don't understand why that makes them worried. I'm fine.
I blink a few times as I notice Mr. Stark waving his hand in front of my face to get my attention. I must have zoned out after the mission again. I look at the food in front of me and feel myself grimacing before focusing on Mr. Stark.
He looks concerned as he signs to me, 'Peter, are you okay? You've been zoned out for the last half hour.'
I just nod in response, hoping to stop the conversation before it can start, but that wasn't enough to stop him. Mr. Stark nodded before signing, 'You should eat kid. You haven't eaten much the last few days.'
I can feel my stomach grumble angrily at the thought of ingesting anything. 'I'm fine. I'm not hungry anyways.'
I watch Mr. Stark frown at that. 'Peter, you always say you're not hungry. You've hardly eaten anything all week. You need to eat something.'
I know he won't let it go so I take a deep breath and eat a few bites of the green beans that are on my plate. As soon as the food is in my mouth, I feel like vomiting but force it down anyways. After I manage half the green beans, I put my fork down and have to focus hard on not vomiting. I rubbed my stomach gently and took a few deep breaths. The nausea wouldn't go away so I tapped Mr. Stark's arm to get his attention. 'I don't feel so good.'
Mr. Stark looked concerned, but I couldn't focus on that for too long because my stomach gave a sudden jerk that sent me running from the table and to the bathroom to throw up. It wasn't unusual for me to vomit after a mission, especially if they made me eat something. I was just usually able to force it down until no one was around before it happened.
After a few explosive moments, the vomiting was over and I sat down on the floor beside the sink I just violated. I wiped my mouth on the fabric of my suit and took a deep breath before letting it all out. I blinked hard before making eye contact with Mr. Stark. He was leaning against the door frame and seemed to be waiting for me to notice him.
Once we made eye contact, he asked, 'Are you okay?' and I nodded. I did feel a lot better, but my stomach was still upset.
After giving a small thumbs up, I managed to stand up, but wobbled slightly. I leaned into the wall behind me, begging the world to stop spinning. I felt Mr. Stark at my side, making sure I didn't fall over. I leaned into him and let him lead me back into the restaurant.
I can feel Mr. Stark speaking to the rest of the avengers as he makes sure I stay up right. The vibrations grumble through his chest and against my body. I'm not sure what he said, but I can only imagine he told them he was taking me back to the Tower because I watched everyone else stand up to leave without a word.
I could feel the eyes of all the other avengers on me and I wished they would stop. I'm fine. I don't need them worrying about me. This is normal. They've just never seen me like this.
Mr. Stark gets my attention and he signs with one hand, 'We're going back to the Tower, okay? You need to get some rest.'
I couldn't help but roll my eyes before replying, 'I'm fine.'
Mr. Stark sighed and shook his head. 'Peter, you threw up in the bathroom sink. You're going to rest when we get back.'
I nodded, knowing that no one on the team would let me get my way this time, but really, I'm fine.
After a relatively short drive, we arrive back at the Tower and I go to my room to change into my pajamas. In truth, I was exhausted and I probably did need the rest that Mr. Stark was making me get, but I was fine. I decided to go ahead and lay down though because I needed to let Ned know I was okay.
I messaged my best friend that we were all back to the tower and safe before I put my phone away and went to sleep.
———
The next week consisted of all of us recovering and everyone nagging at me to eat more. It was starting to get on my nerves because whether or not I had an appetite wasn't up to me. My metabolism and appetite did what they wanted and I was just along for the ride.
I hoped everyone would stop nagging me now because today I woke up so hungry I thought I was going to throw up. I got up, got dressed, and went to the kitchen for food. I grabbed the first thing I could, which happened to be about half a loaf of plain white bread, and started eating. Before I knew it, I had finished the bread and I was still starving. I decided to go for some fruit this time and went to the fridge to get the green grapes.
Once I had the package, I went and sat down at the island and started eating them. I loved grapes so much and it was obvious by the amount that I typically went through in a week. Usually, one bag would last me for a couple of days and then we would need more.
I reached into the bag for another grape, only to realize I had already eaten them all. Huh, that was a full bag too. Stupid metabolism.
I threw the container away and went back to looking for more food. I was still hungry and felt insatiable. My eyes landed on the leftover Thai food and I grinned. I loved Thai food.
I got the container out and didn't even bother heating it up before chowing down. While I was in the middle of a bite, I felt a hand being placed on my shoulder. Food in my mouth, I turned around to see who it was.
I made eye contact with Mr. Stark and gave him a bit of a grin around my food. I assumed he would be relieved that I was finally eating again, but instead he looked concerned. What had gone wrong this time? Did they need to leave for another mission?
I must have looked confused while I swallowed my food because Mr. Stark told me, 'Peter, you need to slow down. You're going to hurt yourself.'
Now I was even more confused. He was concerned because I was eating now? Just yesterday we'd gotten into an argument because I wasn't eating and now he was telling me to slow down? In return, I asked him, 'Why? Yesterday you were telling me to eat something and now you're telling me to not eat something? Which is it?'
I watched the man sigh before he replied, 'That's not what I meant. I want you to eat, but you're eating too much too fast. I watched you demolish half a loaf of bread and over a pound of grapes in less than half an hour. You need to give your body time to digest what you've eaten before putting more food in.'
Quirking a brow at him, I replied, 'But I'm hungry. Just let me eat.' After that, I walked back to my room with the Thai food in hand. Mr. Stark didn't follow me, but I could tell he was worried. I just didn't understand. I'm fine, but no one else can see that.
After finishing the Thai food, I paced around my room. I was still hungry, but my stomach felt full and bloated. I probably should wait a little bit before eating again like Mr. Stark said, but I didn't want to feel this hungry.
Groaning, I went over to my mini fridge and snack shelf. I grabbed a snack size bag of chips and an energy drink before plopping down at my desk to eat.
Before I knew it, I had eaten five bags for the chips. I felt a little embarrassed, eating in secret like this, but at least no one was judging me for eating and I finally felt full enough to take a break.
———
The next few days were just like the day I started eating again. I'd wake up ravenous, go eat in the kitchen for awhile, someone would get concerned and try to talk to me about it, and then I'd retreat to my room to snack until I felt full.
I was already at the retreat part of my day when the lights in my room flashed a couple times slowly. I knew that someone was at my door and had Friday alert me they were there. Hiding my snack wrappers, I got up and went to open the door.
Mr. Stark stood there and asked, 'Can I come in?' I nodded and stepped back for him to enter. A sudden spike of anxiety went through me as I thought about whether or not I'd hid the snack wrappers well enough. I didn't want anyone knowing that when I retreated to my room it was to eat more. That was embarrassing and they'd only worry about me more I didn't need that. I'm fine.
I watched Mr. Stark sit down on my bed and he patted the spot beside himself so I sat down. He patted my shoulder before telling me, 'Pete, I'm worried about you.'
I chewed my lip and asked, 'Why are you worried? I'm fine.' To be honest, I knew I wasn't exactly fine but I also knew my problems weren't that bad. I knew everyone else had so many more issues that needed to be addressed.
Mr. Stark looked at me like I should know what he was talking about before signing, 'I've tried to not bother you too much about it because I know we all have different ways to deal with being an Avenger, but I'm worried about your eating habits. You get so stressed on missions that you can barely eat for a week and then you'll eat everything in sight for the next three or so days. That's not healthy.'
I could feel tears welling up in my eyes. I knew he was right, but I could handle it. I'm an avenger. I can handle anything.
Averting my eyes a bit, which is rather rude in the Deaf community, I signed back, 'I'm fine. I can handle it.'
I could see Mr. Stark sigh out of the corner of my eye and he tapped on my shoulder until I looked back at him for him to tell me, 'I know you're not fine and that's okay. None of us are fine, but if you can't admit it then we can't fix it. You can't handle this alone, but we can help you.'
I didn't realize at first, but there were tears running down my face. I wiped them away once I felt them before responding slowly with shaking hands, 'I'm not fine... I don't think I've been fine for a long time.'
I watched Mr. Stark nod, as if encouraging me to tell him more. I took a deep breath before continuing, 'I don't know what's wrong. I feel like I can't control myself around food. After we get back from a mission, the thought of eating seems disgusting and it doesn't gradually get better. It just seems awful until it doesn't and then all of a sudden I'll realize how hungry I am and then I want to eat everything I see... I don't know what to do anymore... I'm sorry.'
I didn't expect what happened next. Tony pulled me into a hug and I cried into his shoulder. I felt raw, but lighter at the same time.
Once we pulled apart, I wiped my eyes and he signed, 'You don't need to be sorry. It's okay to not be okay. We'll figure this out and get you some help, okay? And if the two of us can't find something that helps then I'll find someone else who can help you. Okay?'
I nodded and took a deep breath. I managed a little smile at Tony and I knew someday, things wouldn't be like this. I'm not fine, but that's okay. We'll figure it out and handle it together. Someday, I'll be fine and I'll have Tony to thank for having the hard conversations with me, just like a real dad does.
