There’s a grave in me, unamed but not unmarked. I don’t need another reminder, because I know what’s inside - timelapse of memories, montages of another life. A complex combination of all things you can feel, you can hear, you can see, you can breathe... you can grasp though it is not there.
Through the prickly bars I walk and enter, a time machine where all you need to do is step your foot in. No remote control, no machines. A plain, old fashioned minefield of explosive memories. A place of constant on and off zero gravity. Only the brave - or the fool, steps in.
Suffocating, gasping for air. I keep swimming mid air and everytime I touched the ground it shakes and blew right under me. I keep on the journey through and through, this place looks more like a ground zero now. Cold, uncertain, piercing smells of days I couldn’t remember anymore. Rubbles of pictures, clothes, laughter and blood.
I keep wishing I die in here, buried along these rubbles of memories, be done once and for all. I keep questioning, when is it going to blew me to bits - until the Universe don’t have the heart to arrange me back on anymore? It seems like eternity once I enter.
I want to get out, maybe because I can’t die here.
No one is waiting outside. Though there’s an image, a shadow waiting just behind the prickly bars. Looks like a person, if I squint my eyes hard enough.
I want to get out, or just let me die in here.
The gravity of the unmarked grave. It’s reassuring although it’s uncertain. Maybe because it’s in the past and nothing can change.
I want to get out, maybe the outside is better?
I squint my eyes once again, it’s still there. And all I could remember is that I keep swimming.
I keep swimming and swimming. Sometimes I fall and explode, sometimes I got off the high. Suffocating myself and chases the euphoria of this place. I just keep swimming.
With both my eyes squinting, I keep swimming.
And off I go, to the outside of the prickly bars. Hoping for a better place so chase these highs.
