Excerpt: “Is there even a way to write this kind of letter? God, this question feels so stupid right now, did I really just ask ‘how are you?’ to a soldier? But, as stupid as you might think it is, I really want to know that. I want to know how one of the most important people in my life is. I want, no, I need to know how my best friend is. So, how are you?”
Words: 2.380k
Warnings: English not being my first language, a bit of angst but mostly fluff, the character does have a specified name, but it's mentioned just a few times, and other than that she's quite neutral and any physical description has been avoided, so it can be read as a self insert piece.
Tom Holland Masterlist
General Masterlist
A/n: Not exactly a fic, but this is actually the very first thing I wrote for Tom. It was done for @jaceyneedsabetterusername's lovely idea: Write A Letter To Soldier!Tom. The exchange happened via DMs (with me writing the first letter and her writing Tom's reply), but then I asked her if I could post it and she agreed 💜 If you want to let me know what you think, feedback is greatly appreciated 💜
Dear Tommy,
I know what you’re thinking. A letter? Yes, a letter (and yes, you read correctly: you’re not here to pinch my face and tell me not to call you Tommy, so I’m gonna take full advantage of it).
You know that talking is not my forte and we always get so little time whenever we can get on the phone. At least, in this way we don’t have to worry about time or signal.
I miss you. How are you? Did I mess up the order? Should I have asked how you’re doing first? Is there even a way to write this kind of letter? God, this question feels so stupid right now, did I really just ask ‘how are you?’ to a soldier? But, as stupid as you might think it is, I really want to know that. I want to know how one of the most important people in my life is. I want, no, I need to know how my best friend is. So, how are you?
I hope you’re alright and that things are good (or at least as good as you can get). Are there any news? You told me your friend got injured, is he getting better? Why am I even asking, of course he is, he got treated by my lovely Tommy, the best combat medic in the whole World!
I’m so proud of you, risking your life every single day to save people, and I can’t wait for you to finally come back home so I can tell you that in person. Be prepared, ‘cause then I won’t stop calling you Tommy the Hero for a while. But that’s not the only thing I have to tell you.
I promised myself I wouldn’t have done this, I really did. And I was doing such a good job, you know? I managed not to say anything when you told me you were going to leave, I kept quiet on that last lunch with all the others, I bit my tongue when you gave me that final almost endless hug, I didn’t run after you when you walked away and I always managed not to bring up the topic every time you called.
Even with our last call, and let me tell you: you made it extremely hard, you almost brought me to say it. Don’t know if you were doing it on purpose (in that case, well played, Tommy) or if I’m just missing you so badly that it’s basically crashing all of my strength.
I kept thinking ‘distance will help’… well, the joke’s on me, that bitch made it even worse and now here I am, writing this letter in the back of my bookshop (the apartment is absolutely off-limits: if Lou finds out about this, she’ll start gloating and I’ll never hear the end of it. Plus, she has an audition in like two days and the opera singing never stops) and changing pen after pen, ‘cause they keep running out of ink.
Maybe it’s a sign that I shouldn’t be doing this. Or maybe I just need to buy new pens. But I’m digressing. The truth is that I’m just trying to buy some time, some precious extra time because I know everything’s gonna change after this. For better or for worse, I have no idea.
I love you. No, I’m in love with you.
There, I said it. Have been since we were fourteen, when you punched that kid – Adam, was it? – who kept making fun of me. He used to be one of your closest friends, you remember? Yet you chose to defend me, the girl who kept avoiding you like plague. I couldn’t stand you back then, you know? You were always together, so I took for granted that you were just like him.
I couldn’t have been more wrong and I hate that it took seeing you getting a black eye and a broken nose for me to realize that. At first, I thought nothing of it, but you kept talking to me, and you were always so kind and sweet and so good at making me laugh that before I realized I was already far down the rabbit hole.
I was even comfortable with you hugging me, and you know how I feel about hugs! Now that I think of it, I haven’t hugged anyone else since you left… guess I’m saving that for your return, huh?
I know, in a span of ten years, I managed to pick the worst moment to tell you, but I couldn’t help it. It started with an ‘I won’t say anything, I can’t do this to him’, which quickly turned into an ‘I’ll tell him once he comes back’ and it ended up with me filling this pages with this stream of words, because I realized I can’t stand another second of me not telling the man I love with my all heart, flesh and soul, how I truly feel about him.
Don’t worry, I don’t expect anything in return. You can even burn this letter, if you prefer, and I won’t say a single word about any of this.
But just for now, please, let me unburden my heart: you’re my best friend, my hero, the absolute best thing that ever happened to me. I love the sound of your laugh, how curly your hair gets when it rains, the lovely silly voice you make when you play with Tessa, that cute mole on your chin that you got removed (I cried when you did that, you know? I hoped I could kiss it someday), your wolf side, the enthusiasm you put in everything you do, how you blush when you realize I caught you singing, your stupid jokes, the fact that you tried (and quite succeded) to befriend Grimm despite your allergy and hate for cats, your bear hugs, and how you always support me, but also never shy away from telling me off when needed… I could go on and on, but I think you got the point.
Long story short, I love, love, love you, Tommy.
Please, be safe out there.
Yours,
Lia.
P.S. It’s a miracle how this last pen made it this far. Maybe this is a sign too…
Dear Lia,
Wow... I’m honestly not quite sure what to say. I’ve never had anyone tell me they love me before aside from like family or friends. I had no idea that you felt that way about me but I’m glad because... I love you too. I wanted to tell you before I left but I felt like that was wrong to just say something like that and disappear. I figured maybe I’d tell you over the phone but it felt like something that needed to be said face to face. Then I thought about telling you when I come home but I was terrified I’d lose you entirely if you didn’t feel the same way.
How could I not love you? You’re amazing in every way. Your brilliant smile, your sparkling eyes, your warm heart. You’re perfect, amazing, deserving of all the love this world has to offer and I’ve tried for years to work up the courage to tell you just a fraction of what I feel because words can’t express my love for you. My best friend. My love. I would get my nose broken and a black eye all over again if it meant that I could finally see you not hate me anymore all over again. Adam really was a dick, wasn’t he? God, if only 14 year old me could read this letter. He would have punched Adam out so much sooner. I always did have a thing for you, y’know.
I’m having a hard time even knowing what else to say. I’m still processing everything (but in a good way. I swear.) You dont’t have to brag about me. I don’t do anything more special than any other soldier out here. We’re all just here doing our jobs. But I still appreciate you and everything you do so much. I brag about you too, especially Will, the friend who was injured that I told you about. He actually told me to tell you I loved you when I come home for Christmas. Speaking of Will, he’s doing better. He was near a landmine when if went off. Thankfully, he survived with only a broken arm and a few scuffs from the fall. Some other girls who were closer weren’t so lucky unfortunately. I’m doing alright aside from that. As good as I can be, all things considered.
How are you? How’s the bookstore going? I know you were excited about that one new book that just came out. I’m sure you probably finished it in a day like the nerd you are. I just can’t wait to come home and finally kiss that nerd. My nerd.
Maybe I’m getting ahead of myself. I don’t really know what this makes us. Are we together now? Are we just two best friends that love each other? Are those the same thing? I don’t know... but I can’t wait to find out.
It’s almost time to do a round so I need to cut this here but I just need to tell you that I miss you so fucking much and I love you. God, I can’t wait to say it to your face. I love you.
All my love,
Tommy (I’ll allow it now :P)
P.S. Give Tessa a good belly rub for me and tell her I love her too.
A/n: Thanks for reading this! If you want, I’d be happy to know what you think 💜
(Let me know if you wanna be added or removed, add yourself to my taglist or follow me on my writing side-blog @lia-s-liabrary and turn the notifications on)
Last year, Chromatics released their new album Closer to Grey. The album was dubbed the band’s “seventh” album. Their 2012 album Kill for Love was their fifth, and, with a new announcement today, it looks like Johnny Jewel just might finally release the album he’s been teasing for over five years: Dear Tommy.
Tonight, a new tracklist for Dear Tommy has been revealed. The album features unheard versions of the three songs that have been previously released (“Just Like You,” “Dear Tommy,” and “Time Rider”). Every other song is thus far unreleased. Find the tracklist below. Dear Tommy still doesn’t have an official release date.
A Johnny Jewel–directed video for a new song called “Teacher” has also been shared.
The Dear Tommy timeline stretches back for over half a decade. The album was first announced in December 2014 with the promise that it would arrive in the coming months. Several songs from the album’s first tracklist were promised in the years following the initial announcement.
Then, in 2017, it was announced that the album had been scrapped entirely. Jewel’s manager at the time claimed that Jewel had destroyed every physical copy of Dear Tommy after going through a near-death experience. It was also claimed that Jewel completely re-recorded the project. At one point, Dear Tommy was given a fall 2018 release date.
In addition to Closer to Grey and the individual singles from Dear Tommy, Johnny Jewel has been busy working on the upcoming Desire album. He also helped soundtrack David Lynch’s most recent season of Twin Peaks. Recently, Johnny Jewel shared an Angel Olsen remix.
Revisit Pitchfork’s 2015 feature “Into the Black: Johnny Jewel’s Dark Disco Empire.”
Dear Tommy:
01 Fresh Blood
02 Glitter
03 Never Tell
04 Just Like You
05 She Says
06 The Moment
07 Time Rider
08 White Fences
09 Teacher
10 Between the Lines
11 Too Late
12 Dear Tommy
13 Melodrama
14 Ultra Vivid
15 Colorblind
16 Sometimes
17 Dream Sequence
18 Endless Sleep
