@oh-my-hashirama Brother Dear, Dearest Brother. Dearest Brother, Brother Dearest. May the Ocean Wash My Tears Away.
Tobirama isn't even sure how he ended up by the waterfall and its river. One minute he was at the compound and then, with a flash of hot white anger, he was out of there, collapsed in wet grass and only accompanied the sound of the waterfall hitting the water surface below it. Struggling to breathe and with his heart pounding wildly in his chest.
It is deathly silent around him. Only the sound his own laboured breathing accompanies him along with the feeling of the cold wet soil beneath him. He is so close to it. A slight dip and he could press his cheek against the ground and feel the grass on his face.
There is blood rushing into his brain, an awful thing that fills his ears with a strange white noise and with strange whistling that nearly renders him deaf. His knees and forearms dig into the dirt uncomfortably. It's so cold and hard, not giving in underneath the weight of his body. He feels so small. Too small for his body. Hunched in on himself in a fetal position.
Tobirama knows now - he's heard it all. The way his father spoke of him to their fellow clansmen. Not as of his son, but as another disposable soldier. As another weapon that will be the terror of the battlefield when the next big fight comes. Coincidentally of his own blood but Butsuma would never brag about that - he would have to loudly admit his and Tobirama's relationship.
That, in turn, would give the assumption that somewhere deep in his soul, Senju Butsuma actually cares about his children more than tools of war. And no one wants to think that, right?
He was already aware of this to a degree and yet...
The words rush back at him before the world does.
Hashirama is too naïve. A fool. We need someone else to lead the clan. Tobirama. He's the perfect soldier. No feelings just cold-hearted logic. Born to be a weapon, shaped into perfection by rigorous and bloody training. Not as a loved son. Not as a human.
But beneath all that, he is just human after all. People already ostracise him and call him a demon and Butsuma just loves to play into that.
No one is stopping him or correcting him.
And Tobirama feels so alone.