I guess we’re on our way? We pulled the little strings and I’m free, free at last and my body will do what it will, I guess. I’m fucking terrified, but my mom keeps saying that God doesn’t create mouths he can’t feed. I’m not sure I believe her sentiment, bu I get what she’s trying to say. Where there is a will, there is a way. And so we wait. I’m scared. I’m nervous. It’s a lot. All of the fear and hard work... it’s temporary. all things change, all things grow. Aaaahhhh, please help me find peace in doing this for the greater good of our family and my girl. or, just let me find peace in knowing I'm about to fuck up the flow of our daily life so we’ll have to find a new balance all over again. It is both exhilarating and terrifying. it is both incredible and fucking foolish. It is both a dream and a nightmare.
but I don’t want her to be alone. I don’t want to go on without knowing. and if it’s not meant to be, well, we cross that bridge too. I’m laying it in your hands, giving it up to the universe. What will be will e and we will navigate it to the best of our abilities.
Please help him realize he isn't just helping/ he’s essential. please help her realize that we did it for love of her. please let us all find our balance. please help me stay afloat and enjoy this one more than the first go-round. Let me find peace in the strength of my body and the magic it can create. I know we will struggle at some point; please help me not sturggle so hard this time around from the jump. Please help me find my wellspring of love and nurturing abilities. I do and i don’t want this. Help me find comfort in giving in to the universe and knowing that what will be will be.