You don't read these, I know that. It helps to get it out though even though I can't talk to you in person. I'm meeting her, it's only 10 days away now. The girl I thought would want nothing to do with me but then bought my plane ticket to come see her. The one who was such a mystery my entire life but I now know like the back of my hand. She's going to really really be a part of my life in a physically tangible way. I can't wait. I wish I could tell you, I wish I could express how excited I am. I wish we could celebrate the excitement together. But you're not here anymore, and I know that. By all my own fault, we've gone our separate ways. I still hope you'll contact me one day so I have the chance to tell you everything. I miss you. I think of you almost every day and hope you're doing well. I know it's pathetic. But oh my god, you were so dear to me. We took care of each other. We supported one another. I miss it. I miss it so goddamn much. Peace and blessings, old friend.