Higgs having a little girl and not being able to say no
Saying no
Higgs glared down at the (e/c) eyed little girl, his top lip trembling as he struggled to maintain the imposing form of his crossed arms as well as force his blue orbs to reflect back an unmoved resolve in spite of her pathetic, little display.
However, there was an unmistakable twitch of his brow as he saw her sweet (e/c) colored eyes somehow grow larger, the innocent, large globes welling with moisture as she drew in a little sniffle.
His fingers curled tightly onto his arms as he continued to keep his resistance, glaring down at the little girl with what was supposed to be his full authority.
He couldn't always let her win…
He couldn't always let her have her way…
"Daddy, " (D/n) pouted, giving him large, glossy (e/c) colored eyes, the gems shining with upcoming tears.
Her bottom lip was sucked beneath her teeth as little by little, her large orbs grew even more, flooded with their warm, salty show of sorrow.
She was his little girl; His sweet, little angel.
'Shit….(d/n)...come on…' he inwardly begged while he felt himself slip, wishing she’d cave in first, accepting his first word of denial as final.
“Daddy,” she murmured, the soft utter causing a little pang to ring in his heart.
Her little balled fists traveled up to rub her wet eyes, following up with another sniffle as she tortured him more.
- And just like that he caved, scooping her up in one swoop, clutching her to his chest, "Oh sweetheart” He doted, “ I'm sorry! Daddy is so sorry! Yes! of course, you stay up as late as you want! I swear baby girl I’ll give you everything you want!” He went on, promising her both the sun and the moon as well as everything that came in between.
He knew his baby girl was spoiled, and he knew well that (f/n) would kill him once she found out he’d let her have her way again.
But how could she expect him to say no to a miniature version of herself?
How could she expect him to succeed when he wasn’t even good at denying her to begin with?
Damn that Troy Baker and his little voice of his, as well as Higgs for being so captivating. This game is lit.
Also, could this be romance? I’m really just writing concepts I come up with. Sometimes bullshit stories come to mind.
FUUUUUCCKKK, I already had this thought out and halfway through I realized he wears that fucking pod (ꐦ ಠ皿ಠ )
How could it slip my mind?
Anywhoo..
Everything is pretty understandable, but just a warning,
‘ example’ = Italics in quotations are thoughts
example = Italics W/out are flashbacks
He watched her, downright dumbfounded, eyes trained on the woman like she was a strange phenomenon.
And perhaps she was…
She was out In the middle of nothing, miles way from a single living being , excluding himself of course.
‘ So where did she come from? ‘ He wondered, truly perplexed, because it couldn’t be as though she magically appeared out of thin air.
‘Not a shelter in sight either…’ He observed.
He took a quiet step forward, being cautious in doing so, keeping his eyes fully trained on the bizarre woman the entire time. Though, it seemed as though his alertness was unneeded, because she seemed none the wiser, not knowing he was there to begin with.
Instead, her sights were placed on the little creature crawling along her (s/c) skin. Keenly staring on, she had no mind for anything but the little orange butterfly walking along her index. Meanwhile, the creature itself seemed just as oblivious as she was about any possible existing danger, happily moving it’s thin, little legs over the flesh.
‘ Like only you exist in this world,’ He thought with disbelief.
A small smile began to surface over her features, one that was undoubtedly pretty, stopping his musing, and every question he had in regards to the strange woman’s unexpected appearance.
It was then that the sound of the crackling sky erupted, echoing throughout the field, and as it did, he noticed she came out of her perfect little world.
The young woman gave a small jump and though he didn't hear it, he knew a small sound left her. The abrupt widening of her eyes, along with the parting of her pretty lips, topped with the sudden growing of her chest indicated it.
The little happy butterfly which was on her index finger fluttered away in fleet, leaving her behind to stare at it, not being able to do much but follow it with her (e/c) eyes.
.And then she was truly left alone, with nothing but blue eyes to observe her, marveling at her from a distance.
Standing up from the floor, she began to look up at the grayed sky with her eyebrows creased up, light worry lines on her forehead becoming visible. Inside her mind she began to fret, and finally he got a gimps of what concern seemed like once settled onto her face.
With steady steps she took as she finally rose, walking further from him in a direction that lead to more nothingness, all with notable uncertainty.
‘Are you hoping to find anything?’ He wondered, continuing to watch her, interested in everything she did, wanting to know just where she’d lead him to.
It all felt like a strange dream,a vivid one where he wasn’t tormented, where he didn’t see death , but instead a strange sort of angel, lost in an apocalypse.
In search of something...
She then reached up, her body lightly shaking as another roar erupted from the somber sky.
Afraid, she reached up, challenging extinction she stood her ground,
“Any second now,” he said to himself, knowing that there was only a few more moments left before the Timefall came. Absentmindedly he took a step forward, “If you don’t get out of here...” he trailed off, knowing there wasn’t anywhere she could go.
Knowing just what would happen...
Her palm faced up to the murky sky for a moment, longing in her heart as she reached out to where the glowing sun had become a stranger. And she wondered when she’d see the glowing star, not having seen it during the many hours she’d spent outside already.
The rain then fell, ready to claim anything that it touched. Merciless as always, it lay waste to anything that dared challenge it with existence with absolutely no exception.
A twitch to his heart made his current step falter, and abruptly he stopped, everything else in the world moving in slow motion as he found his eyes locked with the (h/c) young woman.
For just a brief moment she stared at him, having found him in her line of sight as she took a gaze at the world around her.
A cloaked figure stood in her vision, and swallowing down largely she took a daring step toward’s it.
If anyone were to ask him why he did it, he wouldn't have a single, sensible answer as to why he took action, but all the same his deed remained.
He moved faster then he could blink, traveling through the space and reaching her within a second’s time. He encased her within his cloak, huddled over her as he pressed her close towards his chest, pinning the (h/c) woman to him.
It was then that the downpour began, but of course, she was safe, protected within his safe cocoon, her body stiff with the strong press.
It took her a moment to move, being utterly surprised at first before she seemed to settle, her head inclining back as she brought her eyes up to him, once again connecting.
She stared up at him with wonder, her eyes looking large and beautiful, absolutely breathtaking to him as she stood before him. And to his surprise, she didn't squirm, but instead reached her hand up, cupping the side of his mask's cheek before trailing along the sharp edges with the tips of her fingers.
Cold metal connected with warmed flesh, but it wasn’t something that made her draw away either. He could see that dancing within her wide open (e/c) eyes was pure hearted astonishment as she continued to caress the golden piece.
She didn't look afraid, startled perhaps, but not afraid, and it stunned him, shaking him to the core.
“What are you doing here?” he asked her, his voice sounding breathy, but he wasn’t tired.
If anything, he’d never felt more alive.
He could feel it in his chest, a strange feeling invading him and taking over,
‘I can’t stop it,’ he thought to himself helplessly.
Blinking a couple times in silence and confusion she shook her head slowly, answering him with uncertainty, “ I don't know,” she replied, a very soft voice being what graced him. “I'm not sure what I'm doing here,” She added, a gleam to her eyes shining with sadness, replacing the awe that was meant for him.
“ I was here alone,” she admitted. “And I’ve been her waiting,” she added, a fore lone smile coming into sight.
“ I wouldn't be able to tell you with certainty how long I was by myself...simply waiting,” she went on, her hands descending, trailing over part of his chest before coming to the cool glass of his pod.
“...I don’t even know how to determine how long I had been alone.” she said with the same melancholy.
She'd woken up to the barren land, frightened and cold, left at the mercy of the new dark world she’d been dragged into. There was no sign of life, as even her own heart stilled, quieted as it waited in frightened suspense.
“...How long I had waited,” she added lowly, “ I just sat here waiting to die... waiting for either starvation or something to come and sweep me away,” she admitted with dejection and shame.
Initially, she’d screamed out for someone, anyone to save her, but no one called back.
No one went in search of the stranded woman, and so having no choice, she went on her own search.
She walked aimlessly, desperate for a ray of hope to shine upon her, but not even the sun graced her. Instead, it stayed hidden behind dark clouds, the murky sky and it's muted colors being all that lay in her sights.
Finally giving in , she fell onto her knees, surrendering at the game of life.
And then the single butterfly landed on her, it’s little legs tickling her nose as it walked along the bridge.
She didn't know how it ended up there either, and she thought that perhaps it came with her, traveling through the same strange route. It was the only thing that comforted her.
Narrowing her eyes at it she began to smile, abiet somberly,
“could it be that we are alone?” she asked it, not expecting an answer. “Could it be that no one will come?”
“But you're holding me... someone else is holding me...”she said with a tremor touched voice.
And then she questioned him,
"Are you some sort of God? ” she said with partial amusement, “ Or death itself?” She questioned him, seeming mystified by the possibility.
Was such an assumption strange?
Within the barren land someone came to her, appeared before her to hold her. And as though by strange magic he reached her, embracing her.
He was flattered to say the least, an amused chuckle leaving him, “A god?” he asked himself, liking the idea as she spoke,
‘No darling... but I am a partical of God,' he thought to himself with seething pride.
“ What if I tell you that you're right? " he asked her, watching those beautiful eyes sparkle at his response.
While she waited with diminished hope, and as she screamed and as she pleaded, she’d cried.
She cried her heart’s lament, knowing she’d lay to waste.
His hand's gloved fingers fell down her face, the thick, black material grazing her gently, falling down what had been dried tear trails.
‘ She’s been crying...
Waiting...’
" What would you do then?" he asked her his eyes never leaving hers as he found himself unable to draw them away.
He watched as she seemed to contemplate the question,
‘Will you try and run from me?
Push me away...
I want to know...’
She had to know that whatever savior she hoped for wasn’t there. The idea of a knight in shining armor wasn’t befitting for him.
" I'd be afraid," she admitted." I am afraid," she added, not holding back, " But you're the only one here…" she told him, " You were the only one that came," she reasoned.
He could be death itself, and even then she wouldn’t run, she wouldn’t draw back, so, happily, smiling softly with joyous relief she spoke,
"You found me.”
He could feel his heart once again bouncing, like a sort of detector setting off in her presence, “ I guess I've been waiting too,” he said lowly, his voice just a short whisper. And during then, his mask dispersed, leaving her to gaze at his true face and nothing more.
He spoke the truth, despite not realizing before how tangled with her he’d been. But there was no question in his mind that what had magnetized him to the same patch of nothingness she was at was a powerful pull sure to be fate itself.
The trailing fingers stopped, his palms cupping her cheeks instead, holding them dearly. Meanwhile, she reached up again, her fingers touching the dark tears that trailed down his cheeks.
He felt her fingers leave a warm trail where she touched him, effortlessly exiting him as she unexpectedly brushed the digits by the outline of his lips.
Would it be so bad to take her with him?
Would it be so bad to find out more about her?
Discover how she came to be...
Find out just how she came to him...
“Will you come with me?” he asked her, leaning down to her, his lips so close to her flesh as he spoke, “Will you follow me?” he asked, a curl to his lips as he felt her shiver.
Over the flesh of her arms little bumps had risen as she was both startled and exited. Nodding silently, she agreed, planning to follow him till the ends of the world,
which was coincidentally just where he planned to travel with her,
Right to it’s destruction...
‘Looks like I’ve got my plus one,’ he thought to himself, unable to deny the lovely feeling he felt in his chest.
There is no real placement within the actual storyline... it’s all some bull I wanted to put out.
Also, B.B’s Gender...I figured it was a girl no? He named it Loiuse...soo, I just assumed its a girl. Sorry if I’m mistaken and it was said otherwise.
Either way, that sweet, little angel has our love ʚ♡⃛ɞ(ू•ᴗ•ू❁) Boy or gal, right?
I’m sure everyone is already familiarized with these types of fics, and most of the inserts, but I’m not sure if these are so easy to understand so :
‘ Italics ’ = Thinking.
Italics = Flashback
A/n: Originally this started out As a Sam x Reader, But if you want Higgs it can def. head a different direction.
Just keep following the link below
Word Count: 3933
Stay
Her finger lightly tapped the glass before her, (e/c) eyes gleaming with adoration as she stared down at the small creature protected within the thick, see-through container.
She beamed at its joyous little dance, something she found absolutely precious.
“Adorable…” she said softly, fully enamored by its cute little mannerisms, until a low chuckle brought her attention back to the man also there with them.
“I’m right here too…” Sam voiced out while raising his hand up in a halfhearted manner.
“ Sorry,” she said, still bent slightly down to face the B.B. “You’re adorable too,” she said in a teasing manner.
Giggling she looked at him briefly, seeing him roll his eyes at her.
“ Oh, come on now...Don’t tell me you’re jealous…” she said playfully, a small, quirky smile directed at him as she peeked up with the cute upturn, wanting to know what the male would answer back with.
With the same sentiment, he shot her a grin back, being just as bashful in doing so, the words instantly spewing without a second thought, “I did come all this way to see you,” he replied back to her making her eyes open more in surprise before they fell back down to the B.B.
“You did…didn’t you?” she answered back, trying to play cool, pretending she wasn’t affected by the reply, but really, she felt butterflies play within her stomach.
Silence followed afterward, both adults not knowing what to answer with, what to follow up with.
A small pause settled between them, and though they both felt uncertain about their next moves, it wasn’t an uncomfortable moment to settle with.
If anything, it felt natural.
While she occupied herself with the little being, the Porter stood watching, content.
Suddenly, a thought occurred to her, ' Well...it wouldn't hurt,' she reasoned, knowing she’d been wanting to ask him something important.
And if not now, when?
She took a steady breath before speaking, hoping not to stumble, “ You know…” she started, peering her eyes up to the porter again, her attention derived from the curious, dark eyes silently staring at her with wonder. “You know… I set up a room for you,” She informed him, and as she said so a precious, little gurgle came from the BB, almost as if to remind her that it was present as well.
It was someone too…
“Oops… ” (f/n) said with a chuckle, her shoulders shaking as she showed her amusement, “I’ve set up the room for the both of you,” she corrected herself with merriment while poking the glass one more time. And she knew that If there hadn’t existed a barrier between them, she would have certainly poked the small child on the tip of it’s little, button nose.
“Anyways…” she continued on, her voice mellowing again, attention back to the man while straightening herself out to face him, “ You’re welcome to stay,” she said with her face glowing with pink, a perfect little color to match the little wildflowers he often came across from time to time.
He’d pick them every so often, twisting the stems with his index and thumb, his mind instantly drawn to her and the little color that would glow over her face.
In fact, any time he had to truly muse over his surroundings, he found something that brought him back to her.
Sometimes it was little flowers to match the color of her glowing cheeks, which would also occasionally compare to the hue of her natural lips that curved so beautifully when she smiled.
From time to time the sun was merciful, softly glowing over his skin, basking over him a similar warmth he’d feel when they sat near each other, talking, musing over the little things in life he’d only ever talked to himself about because he was usually so damn lonely.
And he couldn’t help but always find sweet, little comparisons between her and the beauties of the outside world he’d come across, mindlessly doing so as he currently stared on at her as well.
“Yeah?” he said softly, dumbly to be more specific, somewhat droning on as she spoke, also taking notice that her hair had grown more since he last saw her. It wasn’t much, but it had gotten a good inch or two, and he realized it had been far too long since he’d actually seen her face to face.
She nodded, taking her lower lip within her mouth for a moment, seemingly finding the right words, “ Yeah,” She answered back, “ In fact… I’d love it if you would,” she admitted, receiving a small grunt from the brunette male, something that didn’t entirely disheart her.
Because a small grunt from him could also be a good sign.
His blue eyes found hers, staring attentively at them as the (e/c) orbs gazed back at him with expectancy, wanting nothing more than for him to accept her kind offer, to just upright say it.
- To tell her that he’d love nothing more than to stay with her.
‘ That wouldn’t be such a bad idea… would it?’ He wondered, unable to stare away from the shining (e/c) gems.
Why were they so pretty..?
Striking...
“You’re going through too much trouble, ” he answered her, grateful, of course, but feeling guilty for making her go through the hassle.
She didn’t have to do anything for him…
She didn’t owe him anything…
‘She goes through too much trouble,’ he thought to himself with a long exhale, thinking of all the worried looks she’d adorned every time she sent him off, imagining she’d look the same whenever he told her about some new bullshit he’d encountered along his way via their emails.
Emails he always checked up on and read with a smile…
Ones he never left unanswered and didn't plan to discard either...
‘She worries too much…’ he realized, as though he’d never actually thought about it before like it was some new information to him.
And it stirred him up inside, something beautiful, yet frightening weaving through his heart, ready to burst out.
Because he worried too…Possibly as much as she did, maybe even more.
Even as he’d find himself stuck in some dangerous territory, he’d have her somewhere in his mind.
Stuck...Waiting...
‘Shit…’ He cursed.
“ No,” She shook her head, “ Look, I just really appreciate everything you’ve done for me, “ she told him. “ Though you might think it’s not much, I really do…” she went on, feeling the need to explain, of course without saying what was probably obvious to him already.
She tried to hide the true reason behind simple appreciation, feigning it as thankfulness for a man that was just doing his job, even though she was well aware that every one of her other actions and reactions was something meant for someone on a deeper level than just mere professionalism.
She couldn’t even say it was because he was her friend...her best friend, which in a sense he was.
She’d never spent so much time talking to anyone else that strolled by, never feeling so magnetically pulled by anything else.
Sam was different.
‘ What would you do if you actually knew Sam…’ She wondered, swallowing hard, nervous, knowing her face was at a boiling point.
Nodding he listened to her, understanding, discreetly enjoying the sound of her sweet voice as she spoke.
He’d learned that a simple delivery, even with its contents being something as frivolous as an old pebble could bring untold joy to the receiver. The countless emails he received in feedback were proof, and if that wasn’t enough, the glowing smiles he’d been shot told their own stories.
Everyone else called him a hero, some sort of legend.
‘She’s just thankful…’ He tried to convince himself, knowing deep inside that it was a damn lie, ‘Just like everyone else,’ He added.
But there was much more to it.
And there was much more on his side as well.
“- In fact, I could never thank you enough. I don’t know what I could do that could possibly repay you for what you’ve done for me,” she babbled on, small tears gleaming within her (e/c) eyes, making his entire body warm up with a little feeling he couldn’t place, the unease he felt due to his pondering dispersing.
Like magic, it vanished, gone with the wind.
“Ah, I’m getting so worked up,” she mused, using both her index fingers to swiftly wipe away her collecting tears. “I’m sorry,” She apologized with a small chuckle, still releasing the tiny drops from her gleaming orbs. “I’m sure you didn’t come all this way to just see me cry,” she added with amusement laced within her words.
He smiled softly, even though his heart was in no good shape, running tired, beating itself widely in his ribcage with each powerful jump.
His hand fell over his bb’s container, absentmindedly placing it there out of habit now.
“I wish I could stop,” she said with an annoyed sigh, roughly wiping them clean away, not knowing her little show of emotion was affecting him in such a manner.
“ But you just have no idea…” she trailed off.
‘ You have no idea…
No idea how much I appreciate you…
How much I miss you every time you’re gone…
How happy I am when you come back…
How much I just want you to stay…
Stay….’
(F/n) shook her head, trying to shake the thoughts away before she suddenly admitted any of them to him.
“ Anyways like I said, I set up the room for you. I even put some stuff in there you might like too,” she told him, her eyes straying down and shying away, something she did when she felt his gaze too strong.
He’d been staring at her so much she felt her body tingle from head to toe, and it was making her stomach turn over, flopping over wildly.
‘Why are you looking at me so much?’ she wondered to herself, ‘Can you hear my heart?’ She wondered, flustered. ‘Or is it that I’m I being too obvious?’
“ And…And…And if you need me… just knock on my bedroom door,” she advised, playing with her hands absentmindedly, something she wasn’t even aware she was doing, but he watched, hooked on everything she did.
“ It doesn’t matter what time of day… I’ll be there for you,” she said softly, feeling her heart pitter-patter with growing excitement.
Because what if he did need her? What if he came to her door in the midst of the night, wanting to see her, the same scenario from her frivolous fantasies finally finding their way out into reality.
Nodding, he watched her walk away, walking to the room she would stay in for the rest of the night. She was ready to go into it when she stopped, looking back at him, her chest rising, “Goodnight Sam…” she breathed.
“Goodnight Lou,” she added, her eyes falling down to his chest where the BB.’s pod was attached.
Nodding at her, Sam bid her the same, watching the same lovely smile she always gifted him rise, remaining as she slipped within her chambers, hiding for the night.
Once she was gone he looked right at his room’s door, taking a few steps to reach it.
“ Well,” he muttered. “I can’t wait to get these things off,” he added, staring down at his filthy gloves, his sweaty palms feeling steamed within the article of cloths.
“…And just sleep,” he said with a deep exhale, his tense shoulders melting after he rolled them.
Once in the room, he carefully placed the pod in its area, smiling at his little partner, seeing the child place it’s small hand onto the glass, staring at him with its enormous globes of sweet chocolate.
“You get really happy when we come around here…” he mused, shaking his head.
“I guess it’s pretty obvious I do too… Right? ” he added softly, seeing Lou return into her fetal position, eyes closed to sleep.
Stripping himself off his sticky clothing, he stepped into the shower, where not a second later warm water cascaded over his aching body.
He looked down, the sight of diluted red falling into the drain, courtesy of a few open wounds he had, nothing which bothered him by then.
He’d gotten used to getting cut up every now and then, so it wasn’t an issue to him anymore.
But of course, to her it was.
“You should stop being so reckless,” She said softly, bringing him some bandages, her eyes falling over his naked arms, the shirt he wore leaving them exposed and visible to her.
Hand marks were tattooed over him, and how she wished she could trail her hand over them, warm up his skin with a touch that wasn’t linked to death, or forced upon for that matter.
“You don’t have to worry,” he told her, beginning to clean his open cuts.
“I know…” she answered back sullenly, “I’m well aware...But I still do,” she added, defiance in her tone.
“I always do,” she added in a quieter tone, leaving him be, “So please be careful out there,” she said with plea.
“You mean a lot to me,” she told him, giving him a tight smile, not staying for his reply, instead off to search for more wrappings, knowing he’d probably need some more.
His socks were probably soaked bloody too, she could only assume as she had caught sight of his chewed-up boots, the darn things close to falling apart, put together crudely enough to work momentarily.
‘His idea of fixing them,’ She thought shaking her head.
“That man...” she grumbled with frustration.
He couldn’t do anything else but smile, hiding it as he looked down at his bloody knuckles, wrapping them up securely knowing they'd be bruised ugly later on.
Even with the exasperation on her face, she was a lovely sight.
Closing his eyes, he leaned his forehead onto the wall, his right hand trailing up to his chest, thinking about how annoying, yet endearing it was to have her chide him.
“Ah… Damn,” he groaned with aggravation, feeling his heart bounce enthusiastically, his mind still on the woman just a door away. “She really didn’t have to,” he said lowly, shutting off the water, thinking back to all the short instances she showed him she loved him.
“Why does she do this?” he asked himself with a huff, drying off and putting on the clean clothes she set aside for him, neatly folded and fresh smelling.
He could just imagine the sweet smile she wore as she set them aside, making sure everything was perfect.
- The little accomplished quirk of her mouth as she finished up.
‘It’s different when she’s around,’ He thought frustrated, falling on the bed, finding himself staring at the ceiling, tired eyes focused on it. They ached, bloodshot and needy for rest, but he just couldn't find the peace to do so.
‘When she’s so close…’ he added, wondering if she’s going through the same frustration he is, the same annoying itch buried deep within.
Did she love him just as much as he did her?
Did she feel just as willing to look for him now?
Rolling for the hundredth time, he sneered, completely setting himself off of the mattress, standing in the center of the room with hardened eyes set onto his sleeping, pacified B.B.
Staring...
Thinking...
Contemplating...
He reached for his uniform, changing into it, every step of the way hesitating, willing himself to go through with it.
His hand landed over his heart again, shaking his head furiously, “I can’t...” he muttered. “I shouldn’t...” he added.
Reaching for Lou, he carried the child out with him, grabbing the tube needed to connect them.
His face was drawn stern, his mind set on leaving.
And he would have preferred to leave in silence, cowardly drawing out, but as luck would have it the woman had stumbled awake just a few moments prior, a cup of warm tea in hand that she was ready to take back into her quarters.
“Hey…” she started softly, rubbing her eyes with her free hand, setting the warm cup down on a small table she had near her.
“You’re not leaving already?” She asked with concern as she eyed his gear, all ready for departure.
"Yeah,“ he said flatly, connecting himself to his BB with just a click.
” Sam, I doubt you’ve actually slept,“ she went on following him as he made a straight line to the exit. Silence followed, and she knew then she was right.
One thing he wasn’t, was a liar.
He couldn’t lie, and the best he could do was keep quiet, revert to the man he’d been before and draw back before he let his problems escape.
"Are you ok?” She asked, worried, of course.
- He could hear it in her voice how much it concerned her.
“Sam…Are you alright?” she said with the same unease, seeing him ignore her. “Why aren’t you saying anything?” she asked him, Immediately going to grab his arm, desperately wanting to hold him back from touching the door.
‘ If just for a few minutes…
If only he’d stay just a moment longer…’
“It’s still midnight…” she said in a small voice, getting a hold of him.
‘At least tell me what's wrong...Because you're not even looking at me...’
What was the matter with him?
At the touch he flinched, his face contorted into disdain, a flash of something more In his eyes that made her hand recoil as though his body scathed her.
Stepping back she shook her head, “ I’m so sorry.” She said with a caught breath. “I’m really, really sorry!” She said with even more worry.
She couldn’t remember the name, the name of that phobia of his.
And it wasn’t that she didn’t care.
She really just blanked on the lengthy word every time she tried to remember.
But even if she was fuzzy on the word itself, she always was cautious to keep her hands to herself, their closeness coming naturally, gradually the more he trusted her.
But his departure had her worried…Anxious.
She knew she messed up, overstepped a boundary she shouldn’t have dared cross.
She tried to speak through her knotted throat and to her misfortune she was unable to find anything intelligible to muster.
Her vision became hazy as she stared at him, tears welling up in her eyes, ones that weren’t of joy, all unlike the last time.
Sam broke the tensed silence, his voice gruff, as rough and painful as the cut of an old, rusted knife. “Look,” he started, turning away from her again. “I know what’s been going on,” he said lowly.
He’d known for a while…And he’d kept it going himself.
He’d known for a while, strung on the same high she’d feel, desperately obscuring the truth about his own desires.
- the true reason behind the connection he’d kept with her despite the long distances.
He’d kept it from her, and partially from himself, desperately trying to ignore it, because he assumed that if he did play the fool, somehow it’d just disappear.
But he was wrong.
He’d forgotten what it felt like to love…To love and be loved in return.
what it felt like to want to be touched…Touch and be Touched back with caresses that could only come from the furthest depths of someone’s heart.
He’d once forgotten what it was to crave for another’s affection, but then he met her.
He met the seldom woman, and she was as sweet as she was isolated.
She was just as lonely as he was, but not by choice.
She yearned for love, craved to be reached, desiring nothing more than to find a connection with someone, finding completion in the middle of nothingness.
But he wasn’t the guy, because if he was, he was certain that somehow, she would end up like his last love.
‘You’re better off...’ He reasoned.
At her sides her hands took hold of her nightgown, crumpling the silken material with clammy hands. “What are you talking about?” She breathed, biting her tongue at the notably shaken tone she spoke in.
But she couldn’t help it…she could feel it.
- The tension.
Tension, that made her nervous, but not in the usual fashion, because It wasn’t the sweet feeling of having him close.
It wasn’t the tension she felt when they were just a bit too close, damn near touching. It wasn’t the same as when they'd thread on falling closer to racier responses and questions, flirting like a couple of dorks.
This time it was there, her anxious heart recognizing rejection she knew was rounding its ugly head.
‘Please…’ she begged, not wanting it to end, not wanting to lose him.
His lips pressed together tightly before an extended breath left him.
‘You could at least look at her dumbass,’ He advised himself.
Sighing with a lingering sadness he turned to her, finding what he had, of course, expected.
Her pretty face was already married with worry, her (e/c) watering with a light sheet of held tears caught in them. And it hurt him.
Honest, it did.
He wanted to reach out to her, he wanted to get over his godforsaken curse and hold her.
Kiss her, press his lips to hers to show her he wanted her, do everything he could to prove that he loved her.
He was in love with her.
But he was afraid.
He was afraid of leaving her, knowing that uncertainty awaited him.
He knew she’d wait, imagining the worst, seeing him only when they were lucky enough to cross paths again.
He was afraid of losing again.
Afraid that somehow that asshole Higgs would get to her, threatening him the same way he did with Amelie.
His hands fisted, hard as though he was about to sock someone in the face with all the rage he had, shaking like he couldn’t hold back any longer.
‘I’m sorry...’ He apologized, too ashamed to voice it out, knowing he could have his voice fail him.
‘I don’t want to hurt you more...’
They stared at each other with silence, both staring at the other with each Blink of the eye capturing what would probably be their last moments together.
She knew it.
He knew it as well.
“Imma be heading out now,” He informed her, coughing roughly into his fisted hand, whipping around fully while biting his tongue, his eyes trained on what would lead him outside.
Her head dropped, her tearing eyes falling to the ground.
He didn’t say anything else, and it made her heart grow heavier.
However, her tears remained held in.
‘ Please stay,’ she begged him silently.
She felt her body grow heavy, falling to her knees as her vision blurred to unrecognizable blobs of muted colors.
But she didn’t burst out into tears, nor did she cry out and curse at the world.
And while it hurt, it was a pain that was numbing.
Instead of the outcry she would have imagined, she was rooted to the ground for what felt like hours, blanked and deadly quiet.
“Be safe,” she uttered, hearing the door close, knowing he went out into an uncertain fate. “Just be safe ok?” she added her small voice cracking, knowing he was already gone.
“Because you know how much you mean to me...How much I love you...”
(￢ω￢;A) I’d like to think that wasn’t so bad, or yah? I hate that I'm not good at finishing things. Sometimes I feel I have good direction and then poof...GONE.
A/N : YOOOOOO I just reread this and actually teared up ˚‧º·(˚ ˃̣̣̥⌓˂̣̣̥ )‧º·˚
Next Part : Goodbye
