hi im paranoid and think everyone hates me i should probably die

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hi im paranoid and think everyone hates me i should probably die
I also knew Marci. We had reconnected shortly before she passed away. It's. Hard to think she's gone.
It's rather heartbreaking, anon. I spoke to Marci the day before she died, and it still baffles me she's gone. It's honestly upsetting and tragic and I cannot believe she's not here anymore.My thoughts are with you, anon. We can be strong. We'll get through this.
the last few days my whole family has just been sad and waiting for my grandpa to die, and now he has and i don’t feel anything but weird and tingly all over my body???
if i take selfies with my eyes closed it's cool i'm just preparing for Death :]
woke up with a cold and the elderly lady i'm taking care of will probably pass away soon i'm a big ball of emotion and it would be nice if someone brought me hot soup and hugs
update:
my grandpa has passed away.
it’s been a few hours now so i’m not as much of an emotional wreck as i was when i just found out but i’m still really upset and i just wish i had been able to spend more time with him because now i’ll never be able to talk to him again...
there’s gonna be a memorial service for him on friday but i don’t know if i will be able to get to it, it’s very far away