#decrepit brain problems

[18kgold]

Very weird thing just happened.

A sudden high buzz in my ears, similar to but not exactly like tinnitus (buzz, not ring), I think starting in both but moving to my left; almost immediately joined by massive clouding (brightly) of vision and then the room spinning very intensely (I'm sitting down). That clouding decreased and the spinning increased for a few moments, was very painful whether I tried to focus or closed my eyes, but didn't last more than 15 seconds. Then the buzz moved to my right ear, and my vision/dizziness cleared over maybe five second. The right ear is still buzzing (it's been a minute or so) and is getting ever higher and louder, although that could be subjective (since it's not stopping). I'm not dizzy, but if I move my eyes around it's not exactly comfortable.

Very upsetting, rather painful, would have been potentially disastrous if I'd been outside/walking/whatever (I have never experienced that kind of spinning -- literally like being on a moving carousel or something, even when I tried to look at a fixed point). Fun new type of petit mal? I have a neuro appointment in two weeks.

Buzz/ring has calmed down after five minutes but not stopped in the right ear; hoping this didn't trigger a tinnitus fit. I was gonna get in the shower soon, now I'm a bit scared.

[18kgold]

Hoping this is the last heat wave/stretch requiring my AC for the year...

Completely unrelated: I wish advil gummies existed -- I’d be much more likely to take them when I need them. I’ve had a headache for hours, but because it’s not an epilepsy-adjacent type and is ‘my own fault’ (sleep, heat, food, stress), it’s only now occurring to me to take something :/

[18kgold]

Headache started in right eye yesterday -- it felt like it was gonna fly out of its socket -- and this morning became exploding eyeball on the left, which has not responded even the tiniest bit to a substantial amount of advil/tylenol over the course of the past 12 hours. I do not want this, especially right now when I could happily be working and learning music. 

You know it’s bad when I have to keep reminding myself that my neuro has nixed self-inflicted mild concussions as a remedy (it does work! But he is adamant that I not go that route. He’s so unadventurous.).

[18kgold]

Grocery and laundry must happen today, but I am quite fatigued (I slept poorly, and the night before wasn’t good either) -- I feel basically okay when lying down for a bit, but my head gets swimmy when I change positions. Plus, my tummy isn’t being cooperative. 

Ugh. 

[18kgold]

I need to bang my head against the wall, it’s fritzing somehow. I can’t seem to fall asleep -- I just attempted a nap with no luck, I couldn’t fall asleep during Morning Nap, and I woke up ridiculously early -- so I feel completely rattled. And food is a constant problem. UGH. Why can’t I be shut down and restarted?

[18kgold]

I need to 18K-proof my kitchen, ‘cause I can never follow my own rule of No Knives*/No Fire on Less than Six Hours’ Sleep. I took off about 2/5 of a fingernail while peeling a lemon; it *hurts* and is gonna take a month minimum to grow back. Stretching my finger in any way (bending, extending, etc.) hurts. 

I was just trying to do something that wouldn’t make my headache worse during a bout of insomnia! Third day in a row I’ve woken up with incipient Exploding Left Eyeball... I’d already (re)packaged a present, done a bit of yoga, and fiddled with plants; low-key food prep was the next logical step in my mind. And why the fuck did I wake up after four hours anyway? I take too many sleep meds for this shit!!! UGH, it sucks to be me.

(*and other sharp things)

[18kgold]

Another day of waking up in the middle of the night and not being able to fall back asleep for however many hours. Tossing and turning and not sleeping, what incredible fun...

[18kgold]

Be proud of me: I just took advil, and I’ve only had this headache for about half an hour!