#deeks at fletc

[densi-mber]

A/N: It wouldn’t be densimber if I didn’t continue my ongoing grudge about the FLETC storyline.

***

Making it Through

Deeks is no stranger to pain. He’s been shot, stabbed, tortured, beaten more times than he can count, and worked with a concussion on more than one occasion. Putting all that aside, there’s a special hell to running several miles with broken ribs.

At least he assumes they’re broken; he hadn’t actually gone to the infirmary since that would almost certainly mean dismissal from the program. Which Deeks couldn’t afford. So far, he’s made it through two days without tapping out or anyone seeming to realize he’s one bad punch away from collapsing.

Last night Deeks had been tempted to just give in. At three in the morning, he’d found himself unable to sleep in any position and slightly sweaty from pain, the quiet and isolation of his small room bearing down on him. Once again, he’d relied on thoughts of Kensi to get him through until sunrise hit.

The toe of his shoe hitting a root brings him back to reality. He’s run over it a hundred times before at this point. Only this time, his reaction time is a little slower than usual and he doesn’t catch himself in time and stumbles to his knees. The fall rocks through Deeks, jarring his already inflamed ribs. He just barely bites back a scream of pain.

Through the pain, he’s vaguely aware of the other cadets dodging around him. A hand roughly grabs his arm and tugs him out of the path before he gets trampled. Deeks appreciates it, but not the effect on his ribs. He clamps his eyes shut and inhaled quickly through his nose. He swears the bones actually shifted against each other, though that’s probably just his imagination.

“Woah, you alright, Deeks?” Deeks hears Charlie Teale say.

Drawing in another steadying breath, Deeks opens his eyes and finds Charlie kneeling in front of him in the middle of the brush that lines the running path. His eyes are wide with concern as he looks Deeks over.

“Are you having trouble breathing?” He asks, settling a hand on Deeks’ back. It’s a weird reversal of their usual roles so far.

“Yeah, no, I’m good,” Deeks grits out. “I uh, I just tripped.”

Charlie gives him a skeptical look. “I’ve never seen you trip before.”

“First time for everything, right? I fall down all the time in the ocean.”

“Yeah, that’s not the same. You look rough, dude. Like, I might pass out, throw up, or have a seizure kind of rough,” Charlie says.

Deeks would laugh at Charlie’s dramatics if it he didn’t think the action might actually make him lose consciousness.

“Wow, you really know how to compliment a guy.”

“Deeks, c’mon, man.” Charlie sighs. “I’m not going to let you die on my watch.”

“I appreciate the concern, but I’m ok. Seriously, I just tripped and hurt my knee a little cause I’m, as everyone always say, I’m the old guy,” Deeks insists, pulling out his best evasive skills. He throws in a smile that most people buy. He’s not sure if it’ll work on Charlie who’s oddly perceptive for his age.

“You’d tell me if something was really wrong,” Charlie checks.

“Absolutely.” Deeks pushes down the slight guilt of lying in the face of Charlie’s complete earnestness.

“You are so damn stubborn.” Sighing again, Charlie stands and hold out a hand, helping Deeks to his feet. Deeks carefully suppresses any reaction to his body protesting the movement.

“Thanks.” He pats Charlie on the shoulder, stepping back onto the path and starting up a very slow jog. After a second, he realizes Charlie’s keeping pace with him. When he shoots him a look, Charlie shrugs.

“My time’s already screwed,” he explains. “I might as well enjoy the rest of the run before getting yelled at.”

He can do this, Deeks tells himself. With Charlie and the rest and the knowledge of what’s waiting for him at home, he can make it through a couple more days.

[ejzah]

A/N: A small fic back in the FLETC saga. There’s a touch of dark humor.

***

Alone With My Thoughts

The sun is just setting when Deeks stops on a small bridge overlooking the woods. There aren’t many parts of the FLETC campus he would exactly describe as beautiful, but late on a Thursday evening, with a hint of light playing over the trees, and just the faint chirps of insects, it’s almost nice.

Deeks rests his forearms on the railing, looking down into the shallow water of the pond beneath. Relatively speaking, today hadn’t been all that bad. He’s starting to settle in more. The instructors have largely accepted he’s here to stay, and not expecting to coast by. It also helps he’s got a decade and change’s worth of practical experience going for him. Turns out being able to successfully role play an interrogation and not panic when thrown into a surprise active shooter drill earned you some points.

It’s a definite improvement over the first few days when he found himself unexpectedly floundering. Still, it’s a lot even on a good day.

Usually, Kensi calls around this time and he’ll either use one of the small study rooms in the residence hall or the dorm room if it was free. She was stuck on a late-running case, so he’d decided on a run instead.

“Hey, you lose your keys?”

Deeks doesn’t jump, but has to admit he didn’t fully register anyone joining him on the bridge.

“Hey Charlie,” he says, turning around so his back is now braced against the railings. “Did I miss a study session.”

“Nope. We couldn’t find you anywhere, so I was volunteered as the search party,” Charlie explains.

“Sorry.”

“Don’t worry about it.” Charlie shrugs it off, tilting his head to examine the horizon. “Though I am curious why you’re out here running, again, when you could be taking advantage of our extremely limited downtime. Seriously, it’s like two hours some days.”

Deeks chuckles at Charlie’s critique. If FLETC had a complaint box, he would definitely have some additions.

“Maybe we’ll get an exit survey and you can suggest some changes to the curriculum,” Deeks jokes.

“Yeah, right.” Snorting, Charlie jerks his head in the general direction of the main offices. “I think Hardy would hunt me down and strip me of my badge. Assuming I’m lucky enough to graduate.” He waits a few seconds. “So, why are you out here?”

“It’s a nice night.” He could just leave it there, but he does appreciate Charlie’s concern. And he could use an outlet. “Sometimes, a little peace and quiet is nice. Despite what everyone on my team would tell you.”

“You always make references to that, but you’re pretty damn reserved.”

“Maybe I’m just getting old,” Deeks suggests, earning an eye roll from Charlie.

“Oh yeah, you’re ancient. Seriously, are you ok? Am I gonna have to jump into this pond after you?“

“Wow, that’s kind of dark.” Deeks smiles despite the unexpected topic. “I like it. And yeah, I’m ok. Sometimes it’s hard to reconcile my plans for the future a few months ago with my current circumstances. Basically I’m moping and feeling sorry for myself.”

“Eh, you’re entitled,” Charlie says easily. He puts his arm around Deeks, guiding him back in the direction of the dorms. “But I think I have the perfect thing to brighten your spirits. Jared got the cook to save some cake and somebody smuggled in a new movie.”

“Oh god, the last one was awful,” Deeks groans, even as he lets Charlie tug him along. The thought of spending a few hours laughing at a terribly made movie doesn’t sound completely terrible.

“I know.” They walk in silence for a few minutes until Charlie squeezes Deeks’ shoulder. “I’m really glad you didn’t jump. Cause that water’s not that deep and I really didn’t plan on getting wet tonight,” Charlie says, patting Deeks on the back.

[ejzah]

A/N: After Deeks receives his Investigator badge. Nell sets a few things right.

***

Deeks, wincing as he stands: Well, this has been great, but it’s been a long day, my ribs are reknitting themselves, and, uh, Kensi and I have some lost time to make up.

Kensi, loosely hugging him: Amen to that.

Nell, raising an eyebrow: Ooh, I expect full details.

Callen: Please keep me out of that group text.

Sam, raising his beer in Deeks’ direction: Congrats again, Deeks.

Callen: Definitely well-earned.

Deeks: Thanks guys.

Kensi: We’ll see you on Monday.

Nell: Why would you see us on Monday? You have a vacation to get to.

Deeks: Well, that kind of went out the window since I came back early from FLETC.

Nell, firmly: You two have vacation time approved, and you are gping to use it. Besides, you’re on medical leave for your ribs, Deeks.

Kensi, patiently: We appreciate it, but our plane tickets were for the airport near the academy, not that they’re any good at this point.

Nell: I believe you’ll find tickets in the paperwork I gave you today. Good for a round trip anywhere in the US. Oh, and there may or may not be a small striped in there as well.

Deeks, shaking his head: God bless you, Nell Jones.

Sam: You might be even scarier than Hetty.

[ejzah]

A/N: While Deeks is at FLETC, Kensi struggles without him.

***

Missing You

It’s week four sans Deeks and Kensi’s starting to feel the strain. It starts when she wakes up in the morning to an empty bed, continues on the drive to work where she either relies on a too-short video call with or the radio to fill the silence. At first, work had been a welcome distraction and she’d even enjoyed the chance to work with agents from other agencies.

The novelty is wearing thin now, and she’s keenly aware of Deeks absence as she stands in their usual spot in OPS. She misses his insights, and jokes,

“You want to come question the witness with me, Kens?” Callen asks.

Of course, because she doesn’t have a permanent partner, she’s either stuck going solo or takes turns pairing up with someone else for a few days. It reminds her a little too much of her first year or so with NCIS, when she was always the third wheel to Sam and Callen’s veteran partnership. Even though they don’t complain, she’s starting to feel like a burden.

“Sure. Though this time, I’m driving,” she insists.

“Ok, but only if you clean it first,” Callen agrees as they walk out the door. She groans, playing into it because that’s what’s expected of her.

Once she’s driving, her thoughts drift. This is hardly the first time she’s been without a partner, but it’s been the longest in recent years, and it makes her realize how much she relies on Deeks knowing her and anticipating her quirks and needs the way no one else can.

Sam’s extremely particular about certain aspects of the job. He doesn’t keep an extra candy bar in the glove compartment, or think of stopping for a donut when she starts getting cranky on long shifts. She also knows he’s not going to take her up on an offer to stop for tacos on the way back to the mission. He would if she asks, but it’s not the same.

When they’re stopped at a backed up red light, she checks her phone and finds a missed call from Deeks. Damn it. If she doesn’t call him back in the next twenty minutes, she probably won’t get another opportunity until tonight.

“Was that Deeks?”

Shoving her phone back in her pocket, she covers her disappointment with a shrug. “Yeah, we usually talk before work, but Deeks has an off-campus training today, so his schedule is a little different.”

“Is he doing ok?” Callen asks politely. Or at least that’s how she reads it. Maybe he’s just trying to tiptoe around what’s been a tenuous situation.

“He’s good. It’s FLETC, you know, so it’s not exactly fun,” she answers, recalling Deeks’ descriptions of the long runs cadets had every morning and afternoon. She’d mostly blocked that detail out of her memory since her own FLETC days. “Especially since he’s stuck with a bunch of 23 year olds. Not that that’s a problem. You know Deeks is a people person and is in amazing shape. It’s just not what you want to be doing in your forties.” She presses her lips together to hold back further rambling.

Callen didn’t need to know about the mild hazing Deeks received at the hands of the less kind instructors the first couple of weeks. Or the expectations that came with Deeks’ years of experience, as well as the unexpected notoriety that came with their more infamous cases. Finding out that FLETC instructors not only used Deeks and Sam’s abduction by Sidorov as case study had come as an extremely unpleasant and jarring surprise.

“Yeah, that’s to be expected,” Callen comments neutrally. Something about it irritates her. At least Sam would offer some sage advice. He’d remind her that Deeks was strong and intelligent and they both would make it through the next couple months.

Callen’s more matter-of-fact for any of that, which is pretty damn infuriating when it feel as if her life might implode at any second. An awkward silence rises and goes on until they reach their destination and Callen tentatively breaches the tension.

“Are you ok?”

This time he sounds more uncertain, even concerned, and for some reason, it instantly makes her eyes burn with the beginnings of tears. She also feels bad for her uncharitable thoughts.

“Yeah, I just miss him,” she admits. She doesn’t add that there’s a lot riding on Deeks successfully completing FLETC. That she might be looking for a new partner even if he does.

“Why don’t you call Deeks back? I’ll give you a few minutes to catch up.

“Thanks, Callen.”

He acknowledges that with a nod, gets out of the SUV, and paces a few yards away. She quickly calls Deeks back, and he picks up after the second ring.

“Kensi,” he answers, his voice instantly soothing her.

“Hi baby,” she murmurs back, briefly closing her eyes. She wants to tell him how hard this is. That she misses him. That she needs him here. Instead, she forces a smile into her voice. “How was your run?”

Leaning back in her seat, she closes her eyes as he talks, and for a few minutes, pretends he’s right beside her.

***

A/N: This story involves a number of my personal head canons and references several stories and the backstory I’ve written in my FLETC series (all posted to my ff.net page). So, most of this is not actually canon.

[densi-mber]

A/N: Here we have one of my least favorite storylines for now it was handled, but one of my favorite to write about for this very reason.

***

The Wrong Kind of Help

“C’mon, Deeks! Give me one more! Dig deep.”

Deeks glared up at the instructor, sweat dripping off his nose, his breath rushing in and out in short, loud bursts.

“You said that twenty minutes ago, sir,” he pointed out, snarkier than he would normally risk.

“Yeah, and you’re still standing,” Instructor Hardy said, remaining Deeks vaguely of Sam when he got in SEAL mode. He pointed to Deeks and then to the ground. “So, get to it.”

The physical training instructors rode everyone hard, but often it seemed they singled him out for extra reps or to spar against the largest and most fit opponent. At first, he’d thought it was intended to showcase his shortcomings and age. Now, he didn’t know what to think.

The torture continued for another ten minutes when Hardy blew his whistle and waved his hand at Deeks midway through a push-up. “Alright, that’s enough. I don’t want you to actually die on me.”

“That’s—comforting, sir,” Deeks gasped out.

“You’re hilarious, kid. Have some water and hit the showers.”

Getting to his feet, Deeks accepted the bottle of water Hardy offered him and grabbed his bag. Thank god he’d gotten in the best shape of his life before all this, but he’d still be aching tomorrow.

“That wasn’t too bad,” Hardy said, patting Deeks on the shoulder, and walking off, likely to inflict his brand of training on some other poor, unsuspecting soul.

Fortunately, the dorm was pretty empty when he got back. Jack and Charlie were in the common room though, and as soon as he walked in, they descended.

“Dude, what did you do to piss Hardy off?” Charlie wondered. “You look like you’re going to fall over.”

“Stop interrogating the man and get him some water,” Jake interceded, sighing in apparent disappointment at Charlie’s lack of regard. Normally, Deeks would find their antics amusing, but he didn’t have the energy, or breath for that.

Sitting down, Deeks put his head back, completely exhausted. He had another class in about an hour, but all he wanted to do was sleep.

“Here you go.”

Something cold nudged Deeks’ hand and he slowly opened his eyes to Jake standing over him with bottles of water and Gatorade. Deeks took the Gatorade, gratefully drinking a few sips.

“So, what happened?”

“I wish I could tell you,” Deeks sighed. “Maybe he’s hoping if he works me hard enough, I’ll quit.”

“If that’s what he’s going for, you definitely proved him wrong. I don’t think anyone else could have held up that long,” Charlie said encouragingly.

“It has been pointed out before that I can be stubborn.” Deeks smiled wryly.

“Marty Deeks stubborn? No way,” Jake drawled.

Chuckling, Deeks patted his shoulder as he stood up again. “Thanks, guys. I’m going to go shower and feel less like death.”

***

The shower did go a long way to reviving Deeks. In a fresh set of academy approved clothes, Deeks ran downstairs, intending to grab something from the cafeteria before his next class. On his way to back through the common room, he saw Hardy standing by the exit doors, arms crossed over his chest.

Deeks sighed internally, continuing towards him even though he wanted nothing more than to run in the opposite direction.

“Deeks, I was looking for you.”

“I’d love to chat, sir, but I have to get to ethics,” Deeks told him.

“This will only take a moment,” Hardy said. He scrutinized Deeks with narrowed eyes. “I bet you’re wondering why I had you run all those drills today. Why I keep using you for examples during group training.”

“The thought has occurred.”

Hardy nodded, his expression unreadable. “You’re a smart guy, Deeks. You’ve got more experience than anyone here who isn’t on staff and despite your age, you’re flying through every course with top marks so far.”

“I’m sure it’s a great disappointment for anyone thinking I’d fail,” Deeks said lightly.

“It’s damn impressive,” Hardy countered to Deeks’ surprise. “Oh don’t look like that. At this point, I think everyone wants to see you earn your agents badge. I’m trying to help you get there.”

“By running me to death?”

“No, by showing you and everyone else just what you’re capable of.” Hardy actually poked Deeks in the chest. “You gotta be better than good for NCIS to believe you’re a better candidate than one of these barely out of college 24 year olds. You need to stand out.”

Deeks could honestly say he’d never expected that. He was oddly touched Hardy seemed to care about him in his own way, even if he went about it completely the wrong way. He could see where he was coming from too. To an extent.

“With all due respect, I don’t think running me into the ground is the best way to achieve that result,” Deeks said, and Hardy smiled now

“I think I know what’s best for my students, and this is going to help get you the results you want.” Apparently satisfied with having said his piece, Hardy clapped Deeks on the back. “I’ll see your bright and early tomorrow morning.”

As he left, Deeks sighed, wishing he didn’t have such an infamous past hanging over his head.

[ejzah]

A/N: We return for a brief sojourn into the FLETC saga.

***

Your Own Worst Enemy

Deeks rolled his head, stretching his neck as a fifteen-minute mock interrogation video ended. As the screen turned black, Instructor Reczick flipped on the lights, briefly blinding everyone, then walked back to the front of the class.

Three weeks into the advanced interrogation, they’d moved on from studying techniques and rules to more practical application. It was pretty much all review for Deeks, but he usually enjoyed the opportunity to role play. And pick apart the various videos.

“Alright, what is the first mistake the Agent made in this example?” Reczick asked, pacing to the left while he waited for a response. A female cadet, Dakota, raised her hand, successfully providing the answer. A few more questions later, Reczick pointed to Deeks.

“Our resident legal expert. Any glaring mistakes that would invalidate this interrogation?”

“Well, he did ignore the suspect’s request for a lawyer, but somehow I’m guessing that’s not what you’re going for,” Deeks replied. Around him, the room had gone quiet, most of the class’s attention glued to him, as had become increasingly frequent. At first, the attention seemed to come from a morbid curiosity, but now they seemed genuinely interested in what he had to say. “I’d also say that the prolonged amount of time the suspect sat in isolation, not to mention threatening the welfare of his family, would make a good case for coercion.”

“Excellent.” Reczick nodded to Deeks approvingly before moving on. Half an hour later after the video had been throughly dissected, Reczick announced a five minute break before they would break into small groups of two or three.

Deeks took the opportunity to send Kensi a quick text. Based on their phone call this morning, she’d be too busy to respond until later, but he liked to rest thought out the day when he could. It was a poor replacement, but the closest they could get to their usual banter.

God, he missed her.

“Well, look at you showing off again,” a scathing voice interrupted Deeks mid-text. He looked up slowly to find Alan standing next to his desk, shaking his head in apparent disgust.

“I beg your pardon?” Deeks said neutrally.

“You just had to showboat, didn’t you. Let everyone see the big lawyer on campus.”

“I’m not sure what you what from me here. Did you expect me to give the wrong answer?” Deeks asked. He was legitimately confused by the younger guy’s response. Since the day they met, Alan Porter seemed set on hating Deeks, no matter how much he kept to himself. Or tried to help when Alan was clearly flailing.

“You didn’t have to answer it so perfectly.”

Setting his pencil to the side, Deeks braced his arms forearms on the table, turning to face Alan directly. It occurred to him how young Alan looked despite his twenty six years.

“Alan, did it ever occur to you that I’m under a lot of scrutiny here? I have a history with NCIS and experience that the most of you don’t, which means the instructors are expecting me to perform at a higher level than the average cadet. I’m supposed to know how to perform an interrogation because I’ve been in law enforcement for a decade and a half. I’m not showing off or trying to one-up you or anyone else. I’m just trying to survive. Just like every other person in this cohort.”

Deeks pause to let the words sink in; Alan’s eyebrows furrowed briefly, and for a second, but then he snorted dismissively.

“Yeah, it’s easy for you to say when you’re a teacher’s pet. You run around everywhere with your little study group hanging onto your every word, idolizing you,” Alan sneered. Even though it wasn’t the first time he’d expressed his dislike, Deeks was a little taken aback by the pure vitriol Alan threw at him.

“Hey Porter, good to see you socializing for one,” Reczick said loudly, coming up behind Alan. “Why don’t you pair up with Deeks? It’ll be good practice for you.”

“Yeah right,” Alan muttered at the suggestion and walked away.

“I don’t think he’s a morning person,” Deeks commented glibly, drawing an almost-smirk out of Reczick.

“Hmm. Some people just don’t know how to help themselves,” he sighed. He patted Deeks on the shoulder. “C’mon, you can practice with me.”

Deeks took another look in Alan’s direction. He didn’t need the guy to love him, but it would certainly make life a lot easier.

[ejzah]

A/N: A little ficlet during Deeks’ time at FLETC.

***

You Can’t Make an Omelet Without Breaking a Few Legs

Deeks winced, struggling to keep one hand braced against the bandages partially wrapped around his chest while holding the rest of the roll in the other. Ridiculously, the effort of attempting to wrap his own torso had left him sweaty and in pain, but he put that mostly down to the bruise, possibly fractured, ribs.

During yesterday’s hand-to-hand combat, the instructor had asked Deeks to assist with demonstrating some advanced techniques with Ivan, one of the academy combatants. He’d managed to rise above his disastrous defense attempt from the first week, and was among three or four cadets who were regularly picked to show the intricacies of the skills. In a way it was flattering. At the same time, it also put Deeks in the spotlight more often than he’d have liked.

Normally, he walked away from combat with a few extra bruises, and gratitude that he regularly fought some of the best opponents around. Normally, Ivan didn’t misjudge a punch, and fall, his full body weight landing directly on top of Deeks.

Deeks didn’t remember all that much from the few minutes directly after that, but when his vision returned enough to see, the instructor and a couple dozen other cadets stood over him in concern. He’d managed to avoid a trip to the infirmary by assuring everyone that he’d be fine once he had a chance to walk it off. The instructor reluctantly accepted that, but insisted he take the rest of the day off.

He’d honestly thought that a couple of ibuprofen and some sleep would take care of most of the pain; he’d gotten banged up enough in the last 20 years and survived with less after all. However, the pain and discomfort only got worse throughout the evening and night. By morning, he’s barely slept and had to admit that something was definitely wrong.

Getting checked out was out of the question. He had too much riding on passing FLETC to get kicked out for bruised ribs.

Groaning, Deeks finally secured the other end of the bandage, and gingerly flopped back on his bed.

Kensi would be calling soon, and he knew she’d pick up on even the slightest hint of pain in his voice. And she’d probably try to convince him to get medical care.

He heard the sounds of people getting up and moving around the building. A few moments later, a heavy fist pounded on his door a couple of times. “Yo Deeks, you alive in there?” Jake called out before hurrying on his way.

The thought of getting up and going to classes, pretending his entire body didn’t ache, and god, more combat made him want to curl up in a ball. It wouldn’t be easy, but it would be worth it in the end.

His phone rang, and he strained to reach it, centering himself before he answered.

“Hey baby.”

***

A/N: Title stolen from Ziva David

[densi-mber]

Purpose

A/N: Oh yes, we’re back with my favorite storyline to hate.

***

Most days, Deeks was pretty good at keeping himself distracted from his current situation as a FLETC cadet. For the most part, it involved filling every spare moment he could do he didn’t have time to consider anything else. If he was busy, if he was exhausted, then he didn’t have the time to consider the true suckiness of it all.

Then there were days like today. He’d barely slept last night after an insanely frustrating day, and today he knew he’d face more of the same. Now that their automatic biases had worn off, most of his instructors had come to like him, or at the very least, appreciate that he knew what he was doing. There were a couple though, that seemed insistent on trying to knock him down a peg whenever possible.

That usually meant setting him overly complicated tasks or calling on him with particularly difficult questions. All the while, Deeks simmered with the knowledge that he’d done this for a living for years. He didn’t need to simulate getting stuck in a car with a bomb, because he’d lived variations of that scenario a dozen times over.

When Deeks lost the positivity that most people knew him for, he did so spectacularly. His discontent turned to anger and melancholy, which quickly spiraled into a depression of sorts. Right now, he was still in the angry and unsettled state and after spending a sleepless night cooped up in his room, he needed to get out.

The campus kept a pretty strict curfew that lasted until six in the morning. As soon as it ended, Deeks hit one of the many trails surrounding the grounds. He’d become well acquainted with the dirt paths over the last several weeks between the daily mandatory runs and his own solo circuits.

The run didn’t help nearly as much as he’d hoped. Though it had depleted some of his anger, he’d also had ample time to mull over everything from the last several weeks, which didn’t improve his mood. By the time he made it back to his room, he was sore, sweaty, and still frustrated.

“Damn it,” he swore when he checked his phone just a little after 7, and found a missed call from Kensi. He called her back, but of course she didn’t answer. Spitting out a heartfelt and considerably less benign epithet, dropped onto the bed with a sigh.

Being away from Kensi might be the worst part. Aside from missing her desperately, every day he was gone, the chance that something terrible would happen increased. Kessler, some other vindictive criminal, or the usual dangers that came with their jobs.

His alarm letting him know there was 45 minutes before his first class came far too soon. He dragged himself back off the bed, and headed downstairs to the cafeteria. He through the stations on autopilot, collecting a random bowl of fruit, toast, and eggs, even though he wasn’t hungry, and chose a table as far back as possible.

“Hey Deeks,” Jake said, swinging in beside Deeks with his tray. Apparently the subtle request for space hadn’t worked. Deeks didn’t need to look to know Charlie and Omar weren’t far behind.

“Hey man.”

“We were thinking of getting in some practice at the range after ethics. You wanna join us? Give us some more tips.”

“Thanks, but I’m, uh, not really in the mood today,” Deeks told him. He fully intended to go back to his room and fall into bed the moment he finished with the day’s classes.

“Since when?” Charlie asked, digging into a pile of eggs. “Not to be rude, but you do kind of love to show off your marksmanship.”

“To be fair, he’s better than almost any other cadet. Even a couple teachers,” Omar added with a chuckle. “Don’t tell Ritcher I said that.”

“Guys, I appreciate the offer. I’m really not up to the banter right now,” Deeks snapped. There was a moment of silence, which was almost worse than the chatter.

Jake was the first to recover. “Woah. Did we do something to upset you?”

“Jake, give him some space,” Omar said softly.

“No, it’s ok.” Deeks sighed. “I’m sorry. You guys didn’t do anything. I am just…having a couple of rough days. I didn’t mean to take it out on any of you.”

“Hey, it happens, man.” Omar’s easy forgiveness almost drew a smile from Deeks. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“Not sure if you wanna hear me whine,” Deeks said.

“Eh, you’ve put up with trying to teach us law, we handle it,” Charlie decided, nudging Deeks shoulder. “You’ll feel better. And if you don’t, we’ll sneak in some beer.”

“Oh lord, just what I need. Contraband.” This time, Deeks actually did smile.

“So, what’s going on?” Charlie prompted again.

Sighing, Deeks tried to gather his tumultuous feelings into a cohesive thought. “Sometimes…it feels like me being here is pointless,” he started. “I mean, what am I really gaining from being here? Is a couple months of classes I don’t really need going to make a difference to either of the organizations that decided my skills are no longer or use them? I’m not helping my team. I’m certainly not supporting my team. And when this is over, I have no real guarantee that any of it will be worth it.”

He’d said more than he intended, and while it was certainly therapeutic to give a voice to his frustration, it felt like he’d provided potential ammunition.

“I disagree. You’ve made a huge difference and you do have a purpose,” Charlie argued unexpectedly. He almost looked angry, which was odd given the topic.

“How so?” Deeks asked.

Charlie gestured between himself, Omar, and Jake. “You’re looking at the evidence right here. You’ve taught us so much we never would have gotten on our own.”

“You would have been fine.”

“Maybe,” Omar said. “It would have been a lot harder. Even without the tutoring, you’ve been a mentor like no one else. You don’t judge or try to make things harder to prove a point.” He paused and looked directly at Deeks. “I know you’d rather be back with your team, and your family, but you do have a purpose here. Even if it’s not the one you expected.”

“What he said,” Jake said.

“That’s pretty smart,” Deeks murmured.

“Well, we learned from the best.”

“Thanks for the pep talk.”

“It’s only fair, you’ve given us enough of them,” Charlie reasoned. “You feel better.”

“Minutely,” Deeks said honestly.

“Well, there’s still the option for some liquid cheer.”

Shaking his head, Deeks held his hands up. “As your lawyer and a cadet, I’m removing myself from this conversation before I’m implicated in any of this.”

“Sweet, we’ve got a lawyer,” Jake said enthusiastically.

As the banter continued, Deeks sat back. He wasn’t anywhere near happy, but he supposed it did help to know his time here wasn’t completely wasted.

***

A/N: If you’re unfamiliar with Charlie, Jake, and Omar, I have a whole AU FLETC storyline for Deeks that goes much differently that the canon events.

I’ve always figured that going to FLETC with Deeks’ level of experience and skill would be quite frustrating in many ways. He’d undoubtedly taken many of the courses as continuing ed as we saw in early on in the show and learned through hands-on experience.