Damn, I forgot how bad I am at writing... y’all...
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Damn, I forgot how bad I am at writing... y’all...
why are birthdays a thing, i mean like, isnt everyday just the anniversary of your birth?
you know you're in deep shit when you come home from a date @ 6am, sleep for 5 hours and then can't go back to sleep anymore cause your brain can't calm the fuck down
To everyone who is second guessing themselves or thinking about giving in; I do not care about why you are doing this. I don't care if your doing this because you want to make yourself feel better. Or if you are doing this so you can be a healthier you. I don't care if your doing this because you are proving or ex wrong, or wanting to make someone who said you were not good enough, or you can't, eat their words. I don't care if you are going through this so you can feel good in a piece of fabric, or fit in with a group of people. To run around with your children instead of watching because you know you probably wouldn't be able to get up if you fell down, or so that you don't have to compare yourself to others. I care that you ARE doing this. I care that about you doing this the SAFE way. I don't mean not pushing yourself, I mean making sure you know what you're doing, and how to do it properly. I care so much that I want to make sure that regardless of why, you know I'm here for you. You know that if you EVER question yourself that I will make sure that I do everything in my power to make sure you don't second guess yourself. I am here for you 100%, all the way until you reach that finish line, wherever it may be. I don't care why you're doing this, I care that you're doing this. And I am SO proud of you right now. So proud.
I have this constant debate with myself where I don’t want anyone to know about the shit going on in my head because I don’t want them to think any worse of me than they already do but at the same time I want someone to know what I’m going through so it can stop
i had an hour conversation with my dad about life
we talked about how humans only live within a blink of existence and how ultimately all the effort that we put into things will vanish and cease to exist
and our universe is expanding and collapsing and at one point will blow up
and all that we've ever created will be destroyed
and we will have essentially no imprint on this world
also we paradoxically talked about the interconnectedness of humanity and how one's actions may effect others, and the concept of the 'road not taken' and how every decision and reaction is in constant flux
like with the concept of parallel universes - how there are so many options and versions of the truth we have created... but how ultimately we will all lead back into non-existence
i discovered that i don't fear death - i fear that non-existence, that not being alive - being able to experience everything
that i'll be dead within a hundred years and i won't ever see the future - or that i can't even imagine what it will be like. that really science fiction is a depiction of the time it was created in rather than the future... so one really has no idea what technology lies ahead or what to even expect from the universe... because again all things are changing.
I think I act like I accept the facf that I have close to no friends and that I dont like anyone but Im actually terrified by it
Day 15
Would you rather lose all of your old memories, or never be able to make new ones?
I would give up all my old memories. I feel like the ability to make memories, and cherish them is was really makes us able to appreciate being human. And without that ability it really strips us of certain factors that make us into whole people. For me I'd give up all those memories, because when I look back upon a few of them, it's painful. Sometimes I feel guilty even. However, if I were to forget I wouldn't change, because I'm already here and the present is forever changing. This question really got me thinking, and sorry if my thoughts don't make any sense to you. I'm currently writing this story about a girl with an odd case of amnesia and it sort of revolves around that question. (Not entirely)