ALL OF THE COOKING AND WEDDING ONES FOR CLEXA
General:
Rate the Ship - Awful | Ew | No pics pls | I’m not comfortable | Alright | I like it! | Got Pics? | Let’s do it! | Why is this not getting more attention?! | The OTP to rule all other OTPs
How long will they last? - 5ever, bc reincarnation bitch.
How quickly did/will they fall in love? - According to the writer, it was caught at first sight. Love game a few episodes later.
How was their first kiss? - Gorgeous.
Wedding:
Who proposed? - Lexa, and she did it following the Grounder tradition (which I sense is different than our method) but still gave Clarke a ring (bc I feel like rings aren’t a thing these days what with the lack of resources and the heavy hand to hand combat) to mix her culture too.
Who is the best man/men? - Bellamy
Who is the braid’s maid(s)? - Octavia and Raven. It’s a big conversation that Lexa and Clarke have - Anya would’ve absolutely had the top spot for Lexa, and Clarke stressed over Lexa having no representation in the best men/women chosen. Lexa covered her hands and smiled and said that Clarke’s friends were her friends now, and she would take Octavia as her maid of honor. After all, Octavia was one of her own now, and a perfect representation of their joined families. Still, Anya’s presence was sorely missed.
Who did the most planning? - Clarke. She was frazzled less over the marriage itself and more at the planning - representing everyone, making everyone happy. Lexa watched and helped when she could, but not much could stop the blonde whirlwind.
Who stressed the most? - Lexa. She maintained a calm exterior about it, but while Clarke planned, Lexa stressed. Everyone could tell but Clarke, because Lexa rearranged their room in TonDC five times and questioned every move under her breath, because nothing was good enough for her and she wanted everything to be perfect so Clarke would be happy. When Clarke found out, she smiled and kissed her and told her she’d be happy with anything. (Lexa, to no one’s surprise, only stressed more after that.)
How fancy was the ceremony? -Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 | Normal Church Wedding | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big. (They shared their vows in private first, in a forest lit by glowing plants. They were officially wed in front of TonDC and Lexa’s nation, as the tradition went with leaders.)
Who was specifically not invited to the wedding? - The Ice Nation. And Murphy, because he couldn’t keep his snarky comments in his mouth (he still crashed it anyway, of course. No one was surprised.)
Sex:
Who is on top? - I think it’s a back and forth thing tbh.
Who is the one to instigate things? - Clarke, bc she’s a lusty babe and Lexa can never say no.
How healthy is their sex life? - Barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They are humping each other on the couch right now
How kinky are they? - Straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | Might try some butt stuff and toys | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s head (my spidey senses are tingling and they say there’s some ropes and toys at times.)
How long do they normally last? - Lexa greatly enjoys finding that out.
Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? - It typically turns into a competition of who can force more out of their partner. Typically Lexa wins. Clarke will deny it profusely.
How rough are they in bed? - Softer than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 | 4 | The bed’s shaking and squeaking every time | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make Dwayne Johnson blush. Also, the wall’s so weak it could collapse the next time they do it.
How much cuddling/snuggling do they do? - No touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They snuggle and kiss more often than a teen couple on their fifth date to a pillow factory. (Lexa thinks it’s something that shouldn’t be shown in public, but Clarke sees the looks the Heda gets and, well, she likes to stake her claim).
Children:
How many children will they have naturally? - None, sadly
How many children will they adopt? - I sense either two or none. If none, teaching and playing with the yongons is more than enough for them. If not... oh god, can you imagine the craziness?
Who gets stuck with the most diapers? - Lexa, because Clarke suspiciously hides every time the kids start to stink.
Who is the stricter parent? - It seems to be Lexa, but she breaks and gives them treats immediately after. It ends up being Clarke.
Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school? - Clarke. Lexa pretends to be angry, then high fives them later.
Who remembers to pack the lunch(es)? - Clarke.
Who is the more loved parent? - Hmm... probably Lexa. Clarke is the stable one. But Lexa is the one they get into trouble with.
Who is more likely to attend the PTA meetings? - Clarke.
Who cried the most at graduation? - Lexa, but she furiously ignored it and will deny it to anyone.
Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law? - Lexa. Secretly, so Clarke will never find out. (Spoiler alert: she’d find out.)
Cooking:
Who does the most cooking? - Lexa, but she’s teaching Clarke. There are nights when Clarke panics and nearly sets things on fire, but there are nights when the roast she cooks is good enough that they’ll share it with TonDC, and they spent the night passing out food to commoners. Clarke is flushed with pride every time.
Who is the most picky in their food choice? - Lexa. She’ll smile through whatever Clarke gives her, but two months into their marriage Indra pulls Clarke and snaps at her to stop feeding Heda the god damn green beans because she has to hear Lexa moan and groan about it for an hour the next day and she will kill her the next time it happens.
Who does the grocery shopping? - Lexa does the hunting. Clarke does the buying at the market (and refuses every time one of the merchants tries to give the great Skai Heda something out of gratitude)/
How often do they bake desserts? - There isn’t much in the way of chocolate, but Lexa loves barbecue, so whenever Lexa’s meetings go badly, she comes home to the smell of barbecue (and no, she absolutely hasn’t lied about having a bad day just to get her favorite treat, absolutely not)
Are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater? - Meat lover. No explanation needed there.
Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? - Totally Clarke. Lexa’s bad with dates and likes to give her affection at more random moments, but Clarke is a sucker for giving big romantic gestures.
Who is more likely to suggest going out? - Lexa. As mentioned before, she likes to show her affection in smaller, random spaces - making dinner and setting it up in a candle lit cave is the closest thing to going out, and it’s a favorite past time of Lexa’s.
Who is more likely to burn the house down accidently while cooking? - *cough* This has already been discussed.
Chores:
Who cleans the room? - No one. They’re both extremely messy and it builds and builds until it finally becomes enough that they break and do it together halfway through the night.
Who is really against chores? - Both. I see them both as such warriors outside but such stubborn lazy people inside their own room idk so adorable
Who cleans up after the pets? - Don’t think this is applicableeeeee
Who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug? - Clarke. Lexa is obvious about her mess. Then when they break and clean, Clarke pulls out a massive pile of crap from under her bed. Lexa just sighs.
Who stresses the most when guests are coming over? - Clarke. Lexa is used to it. Clarke wants everything to be perfect.
Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning? - Neither. It shall sit there gathering dust bc no one is ever cleaning that couch.
Misc:
Who takes the longer showers/baths? - Lexa.
Who takes the dog out for a walk? - Not applicable.
How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? - Clarke LOVES to celebrate the old holidays now that she’s on the ground.
What are their goals for the relationship? - To stay alive, tbh.
Who is most likely to sleep till noon? - Clarke. Lexa will come home to find her STILL SLEEPING.
Who plays the most pranks? - Definitely Clarke. But Lexa is a CRUEL prankster when she gets in the mood.