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Are we lost at sea?

Sometimes it seems as if we're all lost at sea. Gasping for air, freezing and isolated, no one in sight.

Someone recently asked me to write about the "moral imperative". At first, I didn't really understand and thought it was random, so I inquired more into the "why". He and another friend were discussing today's moral dilemma: the one in which it seems no one does what is right and too many do only what benefits them.

So before I delve into my version, I thought I would provide the technical definition.

mor-al im-per-a-tive (plural, mor-al im-per-a-tives): noun

Definition: unavoidable obligation; a thing that must be done because it is right, regardless of opposition or difficulty.

It seems we've all faced a moral imperative. Personally I feel like I've been facing one for the last decade. These days everyone is so caught up in their own lives, no one is willing to get too deep into yours. It has changed the way I see relationships on all levels. I have become a very internalized person, which goes against all I am, but out of survival it happens. I no longer call friends to talk or even family because I just feel like I'm bothering everyone or interrupting their lives. Who wants the single mom - who is a writer no less - to need to vent? It may be the wrong course of action but times are certainly not like my grandmother's. This weekend she (my grandma) told me stories of her friendships. Friends that you could call no matter what. People that weren't too afraid to actually listen, get intertwined in your life, or be there. It seems no one these days has five minutes to spare. We're all texting and emailing or Facebooking because heaven forbid you actually talk on the phone. We've lost that personal element. It takes a toll on us. Who to talk to when we need it? So as a result someone like me, talks to no one. I shut down. I just blog or tweet because an audience of strangers is more readily available than people who are ACTUALLY supposed to be there. That's not to say I don't have amazing friends but I feel we've all become more detached with time and progressing technology. We tend to be less involved in one anothers' day-to-day. It may be a writer's plight to read into things but I know other writer friends, other artist's, who feel the same. There is a sort of placating distance that has been implemented. An unspoken "backing away" if you will.

See, now that I'm divorced, I have even less faith in people's ability to follow through. I am a parent and an entrepreneur and I give my life to make both of those things possible. But we have moments. Moments where you feel broken or isolated or just in need of a friendly voice. And you call no one. I call no one. Because I hate being seen as weak and, over time, people have proven so terribly unavailable, I just learn to count on no one. Again, this could be pride or ego or simply wanting to be there for everyone else and feeling uncertain of asking others to be there for me, but it DOES seem like we, as a species, have lost the interconnectedness.

We could just accept that BUT isn't that morally wrong? If we turn less and less to actual human beings then we are failing as a species. In truth, we have failed as a species. As a single parent, I realize I put all of my focus on my child and yet I still manage to attempt some semblance of life with friends and loved ones but man, it's really difficult to maintain. Mainly because everyone else becomes too "busy". Everyone is working or chasing after their own dreams or raising their child or indulging in a relationship and there is no balance. Have we lost our balance? Are we so self-consumed we've completely forgotten to rely on someone else? If so - how tragic.

We are so disconnected. We use politics or religion or work or parenting or failed relationships or fear as a means to keep us from getting hurt but in truth, it stops us from feeling anything at all. I know hurt sucks. It tears into us like a vile disease but at least it's real. What the hell are we protecting ourselves from? Danger and crimes against humanity is perfectly understandable but if we're just protecting ourselves from basic human contact because we're afraid we'll get hurt - we are an absolute travesty.

I have so many male friends who talk to me. About women and dating and the common term is "crazy". And yet as the girl on the other end, I have to say men aren't all that "sane" anymore either. I'm a strong and smart and very driven woman who happens to have a child, large breasts, some style - and you wouldn't believe how that is translated. The result is I give up like everyone else and I decided I can't fall into that cesspool of crap. It seems everyone is expecting perfection. No one is allowed emotions or emotional range. They want that person to be utterly flawless. What is the point in that? Then what? We're all perfect? And in truth if we search for perfect, we'll get bored. Perfection is a mess. It's psychotic. It is far from real. It's okay to be authentic. To have an actual emotion and express it but what is not ok is to expect everyone to be just like you. That is an emotional void. And as it were, a moral imperative. We have to feel or what is left?

So to those men out there who believe because you're handsome or have a good job or are single parents that think you have the market on what works, you're wrong. And to the women out there who feel entitled or that you're the best the "market" has to offer, get a hold of yourself. Not only are we becoming a group of people obsessed with disconnection, we're losing sight of integrity and authenticity and patience and valuing who we are and what we are capable of. The notion of a moral imperative should refer to all of us becoming less complacent and more optimistic. We should be less "technological" and more human. This is a rant to be certain but in the end, no matter what we're pursuing, don't let go of the basic essence of the human connection. Facebook or texting or "work" doesn't really satisfy the need to be part of something. It's a band-aid and I, for one, am tired of band-aids. They peel off and leave marks and they never let in any air...

this is why I dwell in film and literature. It is a fantastic hiding place.

Written by Dawn Garcia

Generosity of love.

Sometimes it seems we are all lost. I've spent many nights driving down to the beach to just sit and listen to the sound of the waves frolicking on the shore. To feel that crisp, brisk air rush over me, numbing some of the pain I hide within. I believe the one commonality so many of us share is that we often feel alone. Isolated. We reach out but these days it seems people's hearts are so torn and tattered, it's impossible to see what is inside. I am no different. I try to be kind and thoughtful but you never know how that may be perceived. There was a quote by Francis Ford Coppola that I always thought was fascinating: "Enthusiasm is often mistaken for fanaticism."

In my 17 years of working in the Entertainment Industry, that is honestly and tragically true. Thankfully, I've never been overly zealous, just confident. But having passion for what you do and being confident in who you are is a gift. We all tend to hide behind something. We live a secret life within us, in the shadows of ourselves, and usually that is where art is born. The conception of a deeper truth if you will. But in all honesty, haven't we all been that person walking with bloodshot eyes, exhausted souls, broken hearts, and some loss? I think we all have at one point. However, the phenomenal part is that in the same breath there exists this extraordinary beat inside us that will not allow us to lose hope. Hope is, to me, the most exquisite, most prolific, most enchanting and endearing quality of mankind. Recently, when talking to a friend about the often terrifying reality that I will go through life without that "someone", a lot came to me. For starters, I have been blessed with my child. (And I don't say blessed very lightly considering I'm the least religious person.) I have also been blessed with a man that feeds my soul. Not quite the way you'd imagined, he is my very best friend. We have been through more together than you can fathom but in life, we are always one another's cheerleader. I am a proud woman who does not like to "need" anyone but somehow I'm not afraid to need him. And the same goes for him. So while it's unconventional and he's not my husband or anything, it is enough to live on and we love each other in a purer way than most. Never disregard the beauty of a wonderful friend and human being who loves you even when they've seen you fall, falter, angry, hurt, deflated, discouraged, and otherwise. Another thing that came up in a conversation with my friend (who is very happily married), is that I discovered that most successful women in the film industry are divorced. That's not always the case so I'm not stating it with utter conviction just saying that I understand it. Once you go through that, regardless of how pleasant or necessary it is, we all change a little. We sit in the silence of our own thoughts and wonder when. When will we feel "that" feeling and because there is no definitive answer or even any certainty we ever will, we thrust ourselves into our passions. For me, that is writing and motherhood. I create daily. Somehow. Some way. I find I rely less on people (for fear of disappointment) and I simply accept them for what and who they are. That was a very difficult process but once I got there, life seems a lot less complicated. As for creating, I may listen to a song that feeds my emotion or hear something that awakens something that had been restlessly longing to wake and it begins. Today, I listened to a song by U2. A song I hadn't heard in a very long time. The song, Running to Stand Still. That song invites one to reminisce or long for or simply embrace that sometimes it feels as if our feet are running without us because no matter how far we go, we cannot escape ourselves. We have all loved. Most of us have experienced heartache. It sucks. I'm pretty sure we can all agree on that. As for me, even when it didn't work and it wasn't that soul-stirring love, I loved and I am grateful. The generosity of loving is far greater than the fear of never loving. I have come across some remarkable men in my time. Many of whom I still know and are so proud of for all they continue to accomplish in life. But even when you are alone, you have to find a way to learn about yourself. All of the people we meet or talk to or cross paths with, come into our lives to either be a friend or teach us something about who WE are. In 36 years, I have learned so much. Most of all that beauty and hope exist. The most improbable things have happened to me in my life as a result of both. So, while this weekend is the infinitely recognized "Hallmark" holiday, it doesn't mean you wait to love. Or to laugh. Or wait to do something lovely for someone. Just enjoy being someone capable of love. And when you feel isolated or alone, remember there is an entire species of human beings who totally relate.

written by Dawn Garcia

Here are the lyrics to the U2 song and here the link to the video:

And so she woke up Woke up from where she was Lying still Said I gotta do something About where we're going Step on a steam train Step out of the driving rain, maybe Run from the darkness in the night Singing Ha, Ah La La La De Day Ah La La La De Day Ah La La De Day Sweet the sin Bitter taste in my mouth I see seven towers But I only see one way out You got to cry without weeping Talk without speaking Scream without raising your voice You know I took the poison From the poison stream Then I floated out of here Singing...Ha La La La De Day Ha La La La De Day Ha La La De Day She runs through the streets With her eyes painted red Under black belly of cloud in the rain In through a doorway she brings me White gold and pearls stolen from the sea She is raging She is raging And the storm blows up in her eyes She will... Suffer the needle chill She is running to stand Still.

I live in a world rich with story.

My blog is the gateway to who I am as a writer. Click on this link:

Writeslave. A Blog.

How vain it is to sit down to write when you have not stood up to live.

- Henry David Thoreau

Every choice we make is a story. The difference between a writer and you is the writer will tell the story even when it’s so painful they bleed. A writer will expose the cancer, relive the moment their hearts were torn from the chest and left wounded and battered on the cold concrete beneath them, they will find a way to make you smile even if it means they become the fool. A writer is a catalyst of words. Without the release they would fail to move you.