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hi all, i’m still alive and kicking !! 🙂‍↕️ but as some of you may have seen, i did mark my blog on hiatus. everything’s just been so hectic at work and i can’t find the time to sit down and write. also, a lot of personal stuff were hindering me from going on tumblr lately :’)

on top of all that, i unfortunately got into a motorcycle accident w my bf (saw this coming loll) and have been recovering from terrible road rash. i am typing this on one hand as i say all these 😹 it’s tough. but as soon as i fully heal and am perfectly able to breathe from everything, i will finally finally try to pick up writing again. for now, advance happy holidays! <33 stay warm and cozy everyone!

#saint.txt #delete later!

No actually I will comment

Matt Johnson (the character) is a roleplay FREAK. A sucker for power dynamics and elaborate Scenes. He likes to give orders and he LOVES it when they aren’t followed because then it means he gets to theatrically Put You In Your Place. Which involves giving monologues and wrestling and making threats (sometimes idle, sometimes not 😉). Conversely he will agree to give someone else the power if he gets it back in some way, either by flipping it around by the end of the scene or through enough praise.

However he does not know how to healthily channel these feelings so they just bleed into his everyday life lol

🫣

#cj #delete later!

I don't like side blogs!

#you can't follow people on them and they don't have their own feed....#delete later!

hii pardon my disappearance… i’ve been thinking about a lot of stuff lately LMAO tl;dr fandom makes me sad sometimes

i’ve been horrible at putting things into words recently but lately fandom has felt rlly isolating for some rzn sadly like idk most of the dead dove friends i’ve made have either moved on or deactivated & i’ve not been able to connect with many new people since!! like a lot of people have called me scary/intimidating & i don’t want to make anyone uncomfortable obv but i’m also nervous about interacting with my non-dead dove friends/new non-dead dove people because i don’t want them to get hate for associating with me 😭 i’m rlly grateful for the interaction i get & the conversations i do have but it’s been kind of hard to write lately too bcs i’ve kind of hated everything i’ve ever written LMAO it’ll probably pass but i didn’t want to leave everyone without an explanation as to why i’ve not posted in like. two months… i just wish i knew what it was that makes me unapproachable so i could turn it off!!

#ʚ♡ɞ — dear diary!#delete later!

it isnt fair that my ex is somehow still the person who reaches out in a moment when I feel most lonely with unmitigated kindness after I staunchly ignored him for six hours on shared connecting flights. it isnt fair that he’s still kind(er than me) and somehow telepathically knows what i need.

#of course the belief that he telepathically knew was part of the problem #squishing my tiny lace plush. we are no longer a child. we are no longer a child.#delete later!