#saint.txt

[duvewing]

[vounoura]

↳ ᴄʟᴀɪʀ ᴏʙꜱᴄᴜʀ: ᴇxᴘᴇᴅɪᴛɪᴏɴ 33 — ᴘᴀɪɴᴛᴇᴅ ᴀʟɪᴄɪᴀ + ᴠᴀʀɪᴏᴜꜱ ↳ 【 ɪ ᴇɴᴠʏ ᴛʜᴇᴍ, ᴛʜᴏꜱᴇ ᴡʜᴏ ᴄᴀɴ'ᴛ ꜱᴇᴇ. ᴛʜᴏꜱᴇ ᴡʜᴏ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ɴᴏᴛ, ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴛʜᴇʏ ᴀʀᴇ ɴᴏᴛ. 】

[saintobio]

hi all, i’m still alive and kicking !! 🙂‍↕️ but as some of you may have seen, i did mark my blog on hiatus. everything’s just been so hectic at work and i can’t find the time to sit down and write. also, a lot of personal stuff were hindering me from going on tumblr lately :’)

on top of all that, i unfortunately got into a motorcycle accident w my bf (saw this coming loll) and have been recovering from terrible road rash. i am typing this on one hand as i say all these 😹 it’s tough. but as soon as i fully heal and am perfectly able to breathe from everything, i will finally finally try to pick up writing again. for now, advance happy holidays! <33 stay warm and cozy everyone!

[tovaicas]

I’m literally unwell whenever I think about how much estinien loves people

[saints-4-girls]

The Meaning of Meat Masterpost

I wrote the fanfic "The Meaning of Meat" in the span from January to June of 2025, for BBB25. I've been wanting to document the process of writing this fic and my thoughts since it all lives inside of a PDF that I can't post, so this will work as a masterpost hehe.

I was inspired one day while walking home in the snow. I live in a building with a butcher's shop on the first floor. I've walked past the store thousands of times but this was the first time I actually looked inside. The store has a big assortment of meat in the window, and I couldn't look away.

Themes

Chronic illness: You can't write a fanfic without giving Frank some kind of medical issue hehe.

I'm fortunate enough to be able-bodied, and it was very important to me to depict Frank's mystery illness with respect and without romanticizing it. I watched a lot of videos and read articles written by people with chronic migraines, cluster headaches and exhaustion disorders to learn more, and to use these symptoms in what I hope was a mindful manner while still playing with the horror elements of illness.

I did really enjoy writing the caring scenes between Frank and Mikey. I've done my fair bit of black market nursing for friends who needed their bandages changed and their hair washed after surgery, and I tried to incorporate that into Mikey's character.

Loss of autonomy: One of my greatest fears is the loss of autonomy. I'm a very ambitious and goal-oriented person who value their independence. I used this fear while developing Frank's character, mixed with my own jealousy of watching other people succeed. It was important to me that Ray had an upswing in his career through the whole story so Frank always had someone to compare his life to, and be jealous of.

I wanted this theme to expand past Frank's character and mirror it in Mikey's. Even though Mikey chose to leave the life he wanted behind to take care of Gerard, he still grieves the life he could've had in nursing school. When Frank gets better, Mikey gets worse, and I think that was a pretty interesting theme to work with.

The price of a miracle: I'm really into the concept of the price of magic, and how you can't make a wish without it having consequences. Eating human meat has that natural consequence anyway since you most of the time have to kill someone before eating them. I wanted the price to affect the characters both physically and mentally. Since Frank doesn't understand that the miracle is directly tied to cannibalism, he doesn't see (or at least turns a blind eye to) how him getting better affects the people around him.

The Apartment

Okay, I love fiction written in a fixed location. This all stems from Ibsen's "A Doll's Home", and the theatre genre chamber play. I explored this writing style while writing Bless Me Father, For I Have Sinned back in 2023, and really liked it.

I love playing with a small cast of characters who all having to navigate a small space together while having most of the story play out in the same location. I chose to make the characters poor and give them a small living space to force them to be together, and to make Frank's already hopeless life feel extremely small. It also helps with his character progression that his worlds shrinks and expands depending on how well he's feeling, and adds to the isolation of his character.

The apartment is inspired by two apartments I've lived in. The first apartment I moved to when I left home at 18 only had one bedroom, leaving my roommate to sleep in a makeshift alcove we built in the living room. This worked out well enough for us, and we had a lot of good conversations where she lay in bed and I sat on the couch.

The big windows in the living room where Frank and Gerard smoke cigarettes and the street outside is inspired by the place I live now. I've never actually had a cigarette while sitting there because I'm scared of heights, but Frank and I share the hobby of watching the street outside and the tramline running up and down.

Here's the layout I made when I visualized the apartment:

Deleted scenes (spoilers)

Happy ending Believe or not, Gerard was actually supposed to survive in the first draft. I figured since I did something unspeakable to him in While We Were Sinners, he deserved a happy-ish ending. In the original draft, the fic ends with all of them in the kitchen, and Gerard uses the papers he stole from the morgue to send Ray in the wrong direction with his research. I don't think this would've hit as good as the ending I went with.

Hospital scene The feeding scene in Frank's room was supposed to be in a hospital. In the first draft, Mikey brings Frank to the hospital as a form of rehab. This worked well enough and the scene was gnarly, but it didn't fit with the chamber play I had going on.

Clove & Hoof Okay, so I did a lot of research on meat preparation, to the point where I now know a lot about removing skin and hide from cattle. Like, enough that I have a draft where Frank watches as Mikey dissects Johnathan's body in the butcher's shop. I decided to make the scene fade to black because it got really explicit and kinda gratuitous, and it didn't feel like it fit with Frank's story.

Biting scene The biting scene in the bed could easily have been a sex scene, but it felt out of place in the actual fic. It would've given Frank too much pleasure from an otherwise uncomfortable point in his story, and I'm evil so I couldn't have done that. Part 3 is all about pain and loss, and I wanted to keep it that way.

(I do have the draft for a rewritten smut version though, maybe I'll post it one day)

[bjoras]

hi! the great resurrection nobody expected. some of you might remember me, some of you might not as it's been a really long time, and I don't know how many people here are even still active.

I was active here a long time ago as a big norn fan - and though I dipped out of gw2 for actual years, I go through cycles of missing it even as I moved on to different MMOs.

svarror, my RP main, especially.

for those of you who remember me and why I dipped out of the game, that sentiment is still true, so while I can't call this a grand return to form bc I still feel really strongly abt the norn, I also....really miss svarror sometimes, and it would be a shame to leave her behind and lose all of her lore and such. she's a character that's kind of difficult to transplant outside of tyria, though trust me I've tried lol

I don't think this place will be as active as it used to be, more characterposting, gifs, screenshots, etc and such than like, really active lore engagement. but it would be really nice to post about her again, even if only occasionally.

if you remember me, then hello!!!! it's nice to see you again. if you don't or you don't know who I am, then hello it's nice to meet you!!

[champagne121212]

good afternoon mentally ill transgender tumblr how are we feeling about the sudden no warning mcr single drop because oh boy i am certainly feeling a way about it. that way is foaming at the mouth. losing my mind. incomprehensible thoughts and emotions. i love everything about it.

[saintxgerard]

I won’t lie a lot of areas of the mcr community (predominantly mcrtwt) have an issue with misogyny. Some folks need to learn how to criticise a woman without resorting to being misogynistic because it’s disappointing and embarrassing seeing replies to someone who has a take that should be criticised full of misogyny instead of actual criticisms. And similarly some people need to learn that them prefacing their comment with ‘white woman’ doesn’t negate their misogyny…

Can they explain what they mean by ‘copy and paste white woman’ and why they think that kind of person is inherently unable to understand mcr’s messaging? Can they do that without implying that being a woman is a part of their inability to understand?

And could they also be capable of criticising a woman without feeling it necessary to make a comment on her appearance as a way to make a critique towards her?

The woman they were commenting on was rightfully deserving of criticism, that much is true. But the immediate fall back to either full on or veiling misogyny when commenting was both disappointing and unsurprising…