#demigoddaddys

[pandastix123]

Demigod Daddys #19: Daddy Puns

Chris: Lena: Dad, hurry up! Chris: Alright, I'll speed things up. Lena: Dad no. Chris: With this, I'm sure to steal the show. Lena: DADDY! STOP!

Percy: Hey, there's the beach where your mother and I got married. Juda: I don't see it. Percy: You mean you don't sea it?

Leo: Mason: Dad, could you turn the heat up? It's kinda cold. Leo: Sure thing son. *Adds fire to the fireplace.* Mason: *Looks at him like "Stop-Fucking-Messing-Around".* That's not funny. Leo: Are you sure? Because I'm having a blast. *Fire blazes in his hand.*

Nico: Rose: *Groans* UGH! THIS IS SO BORING! Nico: Oh, I'm sorry. Am I boring you to death?

Jason: *On the phone with Lucas.* Lucas: Dad, could you pick me up? Jason: Yeah, I'll fly over as fast as I can.

Frank: James: I don't see the problem with that! Frank: Let me be frank with you. James: Oh dear gods.

Will: *His kids come in.* Here come my suns and daughters.

Octavian: YOU CAN'T JUST KEEP ROMAN THE STREETS FELICITY!

Jake: We Masons' don't drink out of cups or glasses. We use mason jars. There's no joke in that. It's just the truth.

[pandastix123]

GUYS I FOUND IT!

HOW EVERY SINGLE MEMBER OF THE DEMIGOD DADDYS CREW IS!

[pandastix123]

Demigod Daddys #17: Losing Your Kid In a Ball Pit

Will: *Turns back around* Eileen? Eileen? Ooohhhhh no. OHHHHH NO! Nyssa: *Walks back over.* Will: H-hey honey. *Nervous* Nyssa: *Giving him the "I'm-getting-real-tired-of-your-shit look.* You lost her in the ball pit again, didn't you? Will: I love you.

Frank: I swear! She was right here a second ago! Hazel: I hate you. Rory: *Pokes her head out from the pit.* Hi. Frank: OH MY GODS! THERE YOU ARE!

Chris: Clarisse: Hey, I'm gonna go change Danny's diaper, he's got a code X. Chris: Ew, I'll keep an eye on Lena. *Turns back around.* If I can find her. *Calls her name for a few minutes.* Clarisse: *Walking back over.* Where's Lena? You didn't lose her again did you? Chris: No no! What? No. In fact, she's right here. *Points to a random spot in the ball pit.* Isn't that right sweetie? *Pitches his voice.* Yeah dad. I'm right here. *Normal voice* Heh heh. Lena: *Walks up behind him.* Daddy lost me again.

Percy: Thalia: DADDY! DADDY WATCH ME! *Jumps into the ball pit.* Percy: Haha, good job sweetie. *Waits a few seconds.* Thalia? Thalia? *Puts his arm in the pit and moves it around, trying to feel around for Thalia.* Where'd you go? *A few minutes later.* Thalia: *jumps up* BOO! Percy: AHHHHHHHHHHHHH! YOU ARE JUST LIKE YOUR MOTHER!

Jake: *Standing in the ball pit, feeling around for his kids.* Percy: Hey man, what's up? Jake: Well, somehow I've managed to lose all five of my kids in here.

Leo: *Sign that reads: Ball Pit is for kids 4 and up.* Pffft! Fuck you sign. My 2 year old is smarter than that. *A few minutes later.* Mason? Mason! Aw fuck.

Jason: Now stay where I can see you kids, got it? *The kid all nod. Then run off to play.* Piper: Jason? Jason: Yes? Piper: Where's Tyler? Jason: Oh, he's playing in the ball pit over there. Piper: Well then how come I can't see him? Jason: *Eyes widen. Runs over to the pit.* Holy shit, I'm dead. Piper: Yeah, you're gonna be. Tyler: Mommy look! I'm swimming! I'm swimming in the ballys!

Octavian: Melanie: Hey, watch the kids while I go get the food. Octavian: Kay. Wait......where'd they go? *Goes over to the ball pit. Sticks his hands in.* I'm gonna find you.... *Pulls out a kid.* You're not mine. *Drops the kid back in.* Melanie: What's going on? Octavian: NOTHING! Hey, honey, how would you feel about starting over? Melanie: Starting what over? Octavian: Um...... The kids: MOMMY! MOMMY! Melanie: Hey, let's go eat. Octavian: *Stands there trying to figure out how the kids had just been in the ball pit, and mysteriously got out when he had been watching them the whole time.*

Nico: *Has the kids on child-leashes.* You kids aren't getting away from me this time.

[pandastix123]

Will, Chris, Jake, and Octavian are joining the Demigod Daddys gang!!

[pandastix123]

Demigod Daddys #16: Where Do Babies Come From?

Frank: James: Hey, dad? Frank: Yeah sport? James: Where do babies come from? Frank: *Looks over at Hazel and they share a long, awkward mental convo.* Who wants ice cream? The Kids: YAY!!!!!!!

Jason: *Everyone's playing with baby Tyler.* Lucas: Where do babies come from? Jessica: Yeah, where? Anishka: *Hands on her hips.* From mommys, duh! Jason: True. Babies are gifts from the gods. If you do something they like, they surprise you with a baby. Piper: Great explaination honey.

Leo: Felix: Daddy? Where do babies come from? Leo: Dicks and pussies son.

Percy: Thalia: Mommy, Daddy, where do babies in general come from? Annabeth: In general? Thalia: Like, where do all babies come from? Not just us. Annabeth: Oh. Well..... Percy: You'll learn when you're older.

Nico: Rose: Daddy? How do babies get inside their mommy's tummy? Nico: Um.......Hey, do you want a new bike? Rose: YES PLEASE! Nico: Then let's get in the car! Rose: YAYAYAYAYAY!!!!!!!! Nico: I'll just safe that information for when she's older. Much older.

[pandastix123]

Do you guys think I should add Octavian to the Demigod Daddys crew?

[pandastix123]

Demigod Daddys #15: Threatening the Boyfriend

Percy: *Takes Thalia's boyfriend into the hallway.* *Whispering* I'm a history teacher. Boyfriend: *Nods.* Percy: So, one would think that I won't do anything to you if you break my little girl's heart? Boyfriend: *Not sure what to do.* Percy: Well they're wrong. Remember in class when I said that when mortals made the gods angry, the gods would unleash horrible rage upon the mortals? Boyfriend: *Nods.* Percy: Well, that's exactly what I'll do. If you hurt her emotionally, or, god forbid, physically, I will unleash my rath of the gods. Got it? Boyfriend: *Nods quickly, terrified.*

Leo: Now listen here kid, if Nadine ever comes to me saying that you're not be a good boyfriend, I will find you. I'll tell your momma that you're not being nice to your girlfriend. And if I find out that my daughter is just one of many of your "companions", then your momma'll know that you're two-timing young women too. Boyfriend: Y-yes sir. Leo: Now that's what I like to hear.

Jason: I'm a cop. Boyfriend: *Smiles and shakes Jason's hand.* Your daughter is in safe hands sir.

Frank: Do you know who I am, son? Boyfriend: Frank Zhang, author of the Hellbound, Definitive, and Legion series'. Boyfriend: I'm a huge fan sir. Frank: I'm sure you are, boy. And if you want to read the rest of the Legion series, I suggest you be a respectable boyfriend to my daughter. Boyfriend: I'll do the best I can. Frank: That's good.

Nico: Now, seeing as I can't harm you if you break up with my daughter since I'm an adult and you are a mere child, if you do anything to upset my little Rose-Mary her brothers'll find you. And they will punish you. Boyfriend: A-are you threatening me Mr. di Angelo? Nico: That I am. Boyfriend: *Takes a moment to proccess that.* Ok.

[pandastix123]

Demigod Daddys #14: Let The Games Begin

Percy: *In an aggressive tone to baby Thalia.* C'mon sweetie. Say: Zdravstvuyte Dada. Annabeth: *A little more agressive to baby Thalia.* No honey, say: Suprabhāta mām̐. Percy: *Now facing Annabeth.* Zdravstvuyte Dada! Annabeth: *Facing Percy.* Suprabhāta mām̐! *Both are glaring at each other.* Thalia: *Looks at one parent to the next.* שלום דאדא ואמא.

Jason: *Bringing a puppy to baby Penelope.* Look Elope. Daddy has a szczeniak. Can you say, szczeniak? Piper: *Walks in.* Kiskutya. Daddy has a kiskutya. Jason: Really? Teaching her two languages at once is too confusing. We agreed to do one at a time. Piper: Yes, but we never agreed on which one we would teach her first. Peneolpe: *Points to the dog.* Hvalp! *Piper and Jason look at each and back at their daughter.* Piper: But you didn't even teach her- Peneolpe: Hvalp! Hvalp! Hvalp! Hvalp!

Nico: *Walks over to baby Rose, who's playing with toys.* Ehi bebè, divertirsi? Rachel: *Stands in the doorway.* Com està la nena de la mare? Nico: *Tries to avoid looking at Rachel.* Può daddy gioco troppo? Rachel: *Hands Rose a sippy cup.* Heus aquí alguns nadó sucosa. Nico: *Looks angry, but keeps his eyes on Rose.* Il succo di mela gustoso? Rachel: És el raïm ajuda del kool realitat. Nico: *Looks at Rachel.* Potreste aver vinto questo momento Rachel, ma non sarete così fortunati la prossima volta. Tidas: *Walks down the stairs.* Not everything needs to be a godsdamn contest!

Frank: (Baby)Rory: *Points to a butterfly flying around her.* Húdié! Húdié! Frank: *Looking very proud of his teaching abilities.* That's right Rorbear. Hazel: *Hands Rory a flower.* Jolie fleur. Rory: *Sniffs the flower.* Fleur sent jolie. Hazel: La fleur ne sent jolie, Rory. Frank: *Clears his throat.* Hazel: *Looks at him.* *The two glare at each other for a moment.* Frank: Oh, it's on.

Leo: *Baby Felix and Nadine are standing up, holding onto the coffee table.* Ven aca. A pie de papá. Sam: *Crouches next to Leo with her arms out too.* Kom till mamma. Jag älskar dig två till. Leo: Te quiero dos más. Sam: *Through her teeth, smiling.* Jag knuffade dem ur min vagina. Leo: ¿Cómo crees que llegaron en ti? Sam: Varför tror du att de är här? Leo: Usted estuvo de acuerdo en ello. Sam: Bara att stänga upp dig. Leo: Espera, por lo que ni siquiera quiere que en el primer lugar? Sam: Åh gudar, inte detta igen.

I highly encourage you to translate the convo between Leo and Sam. It's pretty funny.