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raakxhyr

May 13, 2018

Of Demons and Doves||Demon!Ryan||Ch. 2

Previous Chapter

Read it on AO3 or continue reading below

More demon!Ryan stuff (x)

finally got this shit updated! woo!

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“Don’t fight it, Ryan. Let it overcome you. Embrace it. Being a demon isn’t always a curse, and you, kid, are most certainly a blessing.”

Ryan shot up with a gasp. He looked around to identify where he was, rubbing his eyes, slightly hunched over. The sun was barely shining through the windows, and he looked around his room, allowing his heart to slow down. Micki and Dori had their heads lifted, greeting him with nuzzles and kisses.

His dreams had been erratic lately, and he was losing sleep from time to time. He’s just thankful he hasn’t woken up on the streets.

The one that had just shaken him awake just now, he recalled only in fragments, and he stared off, trying to piece together what he can in hopes he could recover his memory. There was a man standing across from him, face unable to be recalled, large stature, and claws. But, he called him son. He called him his boy, like it was his father speaking to him. Unless this was some nightmarish version of his dad, he wanted to forget about it. But the pure presence of this man kept recurring in the world of his unconscious mind, and he seemed almost familiar, like Ryan had met him before, a long time ago.

Ryan decided he would rather put the thoughts aside, and grabbed his laptop from the bedside table. He opened up a Word document he had created since his weird “shifting” occurrence, and scrolled to where he had left off. For the past few weeks, he’d been keeping records of his dreams and any weird events during the times he was awake. Sometimes, dreams began to blend in with reality, and he couldn’t be sure of what he was seeing exactly, but he trusted his memory enough to put all the detail down to the best of his ability.

Last night’s dream was mellow compared to the others. No killing, no death, no haunting. It’s weird to say that I feel almost too accustomed to it, now. Of course, these are just dreams, and not very threatening to me, but the images are still very real in my mind.

This time I was walking in the middle of a forest. I think there was a highway nearby, because a few cars had passed. It was really dark outside, and I walked up to this man (same guy as all my others?) And he talked to me (something about embracing something like powers I guess) and called me son, again.

Still don't know what he looks like, but very tall, probably works out a lot, good legs.

End of notes.

He read it over again and made sure he wasn’t leaving anything out. Drumming his fingers over the keys, he recalled the sequence of the dream before going back in to rearrange and add more details.

I heard the cars before I knew I was in a forest. The conversation with this Leg Man was actually kind of long (like his legs. Longer than Shane. Take that, Shane, you freak). He was telling me to be wary of a red spirit named… the name has slipped my memory, but that’s all. He said this was like another demon or something that wanted to get to me but I can just like...fight it with my demon powers right

I mean if the demon powers are a real thing

Like I know that I have these weird shifting things happening but like I dont have weird spooky powers that I know about or maybe I need to perform a ritual on myself? But I don't mess with that kind of shit because like what if I have to fight another demon and I don't know what I’m doing I mean is my fist really going to hurt them because they’re a demon and I’m not

Or maybe I am a demon I don't know I’m still conflicted and I’m like really confused I wonder if anyone knows about this that I can talk to

But anyway avoid this red spirit or whatever that’s all (what does it even look like, like is it the shape of a human or a cloud? But a red cloud isn’t really that scary. Actually it might be scary, I don’t know. Wouldn’t you be scared of a red cloud? Like that’s some end of the world stuff)

Ryan sighed and put the laptop away, leaning back against the frame of the bed then looked down at his dogs, who had been more than generously comforting. He still wasn’t sure what was happening to him during those times, just that he would look really hairy, and blue. He was digging the blue hair, though. He could probably pretend he had dyed his hair, but that would break the “pristine tipped bro bond”.

He rolled his eyes and hopped out of bed, hyped to start filming for the new Unsolved Supernatural season. They were already a few episodes in, the last filming location having been at the Eastern State Penitentiary. They’d be leaving in a few weeks to Texas to film the next location, the Goatman’s bridge. Until then, it was spending time at the office to work on other projects while their show was on a hiatus.

Ryan was asked to be part of the film and sound crew for others and he thought it would be a good way to bide his time aside from editing and staying home with his dogs and meeting his family at Disneyland (though, he wouldn't mind going every day. Sadly, he was not getting paid for that).

He made his way to the bathroom and began to clean up, the cool water on his face allowing him to feel fresh, along with the minty taste in his mouth. He began shifting halfway through brushing his teeth, and thankfully he wasn’t in agonizing pain this time. There was simply a quiet throb in the back of his head and along his body. Ryan scowled, but he couldn't stop it. He was able to somewhat control how much he transformed if he tried hard enough. He wasn’t sure what it was, but a few meditation and inner self videos seemed to lead him in the right direction. Whatever it was inside of him that he could focus on, he could ease the speed and pain of the moment.

He looked at himself in the mirror and laughed quietly at the toothbrush that now scrubbed a large fang, spitting out what he could and gargled some water. He wasn’t exactly sure how to wash down the fang, but he assumed pouring water on it then wiping it down would work.

He yelped when the water simply splashed on his shirt and over the counter, staring in disappointment as the fangs had disappeared in another shift, and now he looked like an idiot pouring water on himself.

Groaning, Ryan wiped off the counter and walked back to his room to change for the day, tossing his wet shirt in the laundry basket. After cleaning up, he checked himself in the mirror. He had on a plain blue, short sleeve button down, which he adjusted at the collar until his neck was comfortable, and some black jeans. He made sure his hair was properly gelled and did finger guns at the mirror, making a few faces as he posed and checked his hair at different angles.

“Alright, Detective Bergara, it’s time for work. First case: Steven Lim.” He laughed and headed down for a quick breakfast, met his brother at the door, and ran out to his car.

While he sat between all the cars on the road, he began to wonder if he should speak to any local priests, maybe even some exorcists. It was something he’d been thinking about for a long time, but he wasn’t even sure if he could really pinpoint it as demonic possession. He wasn’t getting hurt, except for that pain when he transformed, he wasn’t exactly getting bruised or beaten or bleeding out randomly, and he wasn’t hallucinating (he hoped).

He did think he was hearing voices, though. Maybe he was just caught up from the entire Penitentiary adventure, but he was sure he could hear someone whispering to him when he was alone.

He tried looking up on the internet what to do in the case of demonic possession, just in case it really was his problem. Most of the steps were asking intrapersonal questions, seeking out priests, really reflecting on himself.

Other things he tried to look up like “I suddenly have fangs” or “what to do if suddenly shapeshifting” but the only answers he got were stupid riddles and dumb Quora quizzes.

Most of the time he tried to look through all the supernatural cases he had covered over the so far two and a half seasons of Unsolved. Nothing there was useful to him, since he couldn’t quite connect to any of it. The only answer he had for himself was that something happened where a spirit became attached to him.

It couldn’t have just been coincidence, even with his tendency to try and hold back. Then again, Shane didn’t have any problems.

Ryan’s eyes widened for a little, and an idea popped into his head. Maybe he could ask Shane if he’s been feeling weird at all.

He groaned, sighed, then shook his head. There was no way Shane would admit to any kind of ghost attachment or demonic possession. He’d probably just reason that he was maybe getting sick or overworked. So much for that idea.

He could ask the camera crew, and maybe some others around the office who believed in this kind of stuff, but he also didn’t want to reveal too much of what’s been going on to him to a lot of people.

Ryan shut his eyes briefly in frustration, and decided he would keep to himself for now. There was absolutely no easy way he could explain himself or what he was feeling without sounding like an idiot. Maybe he would just try to live out what was happening and talk to a priest later. While his weird “demon persona” appearance became a natural routine, starting with a gentle burn in his chest to a buzz in his ears, he couldn’t deny that he was still scared by it all, and could only be hoping that he was dreaming. It was only the natural human response, he thought to himself. He’d never seen or experienced anything like this, even in the cases he read over. And every article about demonic possession just seemed overexag-

BEEP! HONK!

Ryan’s eyes shot to his rearview mirror then quickly to the large empty space between him and the streetlight, and he bashfully drove on, his thoughts swept aside. He blew out a quiet stream of air and tried to clear his mind in order to ready for work.

As soon as he got to the office, he was already on his feet, working a camera in a kitchen, and following Steven around LA while he filmed a “Worth It” episode, not necessarily for “Lifestyle” or the main food crew. It was just one of those “on the side” videos. The filming had taken most of the day for one and a half parts of the episode, and he was already prepping for the following days of helping to film.

When they were finishing up for the evening at the office, Andrew had come by to speak with Steven, and Ryan tried to pay little mind to it while he packed up the camera equipment and made sure everything was clean and undamaged. It was when he looked up and saw Steven plant a quick kiss on Andrew’s cheek that he shot his eyes back down and stuffed the bags away into the storage room.

“Uh, Steven,” Ryan said, his hands in the pockets of his jeans after Andrew had left.

“Yeah, what’s up?” Steven turned around with a bright smile on his face, seeming to bounce on his heels.

“You, uh, I didn’t know you and Andrew were together.”

“Oh, um, yeah, we’ve kind of been keeping it on the down-low. It’s been about a month, now.”

Ryan’s eyes widened. “A month? How did I not notice?” He smiled and patted Stevens shoulder. “I’m really happy to hear you two are together.”

“What about you? Finally ask Shane for a kiss?”

“What?” Ryan choked and stared at Steven in shock, voice breaking. “What do you mean?”

“Oh, come on, Ryan. It’s obvious you like the guy.”

“I- do not!” At this point, Ryan’s cheeks had began to tint a light pink, and a falter in his voice had him double thinking his answer. “I...I don’t...think I do.” His voice became quiet, and he began thinking about every shared moment between him and Shane, but ignored the flutter of his heart, and looked back up at Steven. “There’s no way.”

“Please, Ryan, look at you. You totally do.”

“You’re just planting thoughts in my head!”

“Am not, you totally like him! It’s not crazy.”

“It’s one hundred percent crazy.”

“Like your belief in ghosts.”

“No!”

“Yes!” Steven began to laugh. “I need to set up a Worth It date for you two.”

“That is not happening.”

“It will one day. You just watch. I’ll get that video approved.

Ryan bit his tongue and walked out of the office with Steven. “So, how did you know?”

“How did I know what?”

“How did you know that you liked Andrew?”

Steven smiled and unlocked his car to drop his bags inside. “I don’t know, really. I mean, maybe it was after a couple drinks we shared during our last trip. Maybe it was the time we spent getting to know each other while we filmed the show.” He sighed and leaned against his car, staring at the fading colors of the sky while the sun clung to the horizon’s edge. “I just felt it in my heart. The way I would feel when I was with him, talking to him, looking at him, listening to him. Everything about Andrew made me smile. Even when we got to arguing over foods and when he would irritate me and I’d irritate him back.” He shrugged and looked at Ryan. “You just feel it.”

“Just feel it, huh…” Ryan’s hands grew clammy at his sides, his heart racing at Steven’s words, except instead of Andrew, it was Shane he would replace the thoughts with, and he almost hopped on his feet. “I guess I know what you mean. But, I don’t know if I really feel this way, yet. I mean sure, I’ve spent almost two years working close with him on Unsolved, and longer from when I first came here…” He paused, and pursed his lips. “I’m also a horrible flirt, so I wouldn’t know if I was really making good moves or not.”

“Just be yourself, Ryan. I’m sure Shane loves that about you. You’re a good guy. I’ve never seen him smile and laugh more around someone, or try to be as picky and nice at the same time. I think I’ve been around both of you long enough to pick it apart.” Steven gave Ryan a gentle squeeze on the shoulder. “You’ll know.”

“Thanks. I guess I’ll just think about it for now.”

Ryan bid his farewell to Steven, and headed to his own car, enjoying the quiet night on the road. When he got home, he thanked his brother for watching the dogs, waved goodbye as he left, and went to shower then crash on his bed.

“Do I like Shane?” Ryan asked as he lay on his bed, staring up at the ceiling, and his heart jumped at the words. “I don’t like Shane,” he said, trying to deny the thought, but his voice faltered and betrayed him. “I like Shane,” he whispered, and he felt a warmth form in his chest. “I like Shane,” he said again, stronger this time, and a smile covered his face. “Oh, man.”

Ryan groaned, turning over in his bed, his hand slipping beneath the pillow as he pressed his face into it, staring at the soft cotton cover. “This is crazy…”

For the rest of the night, he began to question his real feelings for his best friend, and eventually slipped into a disturbed sleep.

The next morning, he woke up to the sound of his dogs growling and whimpering at his door. He sat up and saw Micki and Dori with their ears flat against their head, tails between their legs, standing in the doorway and staring at him with teeth bared. He looked down at himself and saw his clawed hands, suddenly stiffening from the sight as it took him by surprise, and pressed his tongue up against the two fangs that held his mouth open.

“Fuck,” he mumbled, voice still raspy from just waking up. When he threw his legs to the side of the bed and went to stand up, his dogs began to approach him with barks.

Ryan stared down at them and held his hands up. “Stop, sit, and be quiet,” he ordered, to which he watched Micki and Dori follow his commands immediately. With surprise, he cautiously began to walk around his bed and around the dogs on the floor, who sat watching him, as if waiting for him to continue commanding them. “Um, lay down and roll over?”

And just like that, they did lie down and roll over. Ryan stared in awe, and shut his eyes as he felt his skin tighten again when he shifted back to his completely human form. His dogs got up and began to jump up to him, wanting to be held. He knelt down and pondered in quiet thought at what just happened while he went to pick one up, but stopped himself.

Ryan sat there, kneeling down, and placed his hands on his thighs, flat. “Stand, Micki. Dori, lay down.” His dogs just stared at him and bounced up to his lap. He sighed, and tried to focus in on himself again, wondering if it had to do with the weird shifting abilities.

He inhaled and exhaled slowly, searching inside of himself for….something. Something that felt like it could burn his chest inside out, and the fire began to spread throughout his body. When he opened his eyes, it didn’t seem like he had transformed at all, but the burning in his chest was still there. Feeling a little defeated, he stood up. “Okay, you guys. I don’t know what I was thinking. Just sit there and be good.”

When Ryan left to go to the bathroom, he realized that his dogs, who’d usually tag along beside him on the way there, hadn’t come at all. He looked around his feet and the hallway then went back to his room where the dogs sat, staring at him patiently. He stood in his doorway in stupor. “Come, follow,” he said, and the dogs immediately got up, in sync, and stood at his feet.

He walked towards his bathroom and they stepped at the same time. When he walked backwards, they still followed. As he went towards the sink, they followed, then began to jump around at his feet again, and the burning in his chest was gone.

“Woah,” he whispered quietly, and decided he would try to hone in on this “new ability” of his, and would try to test it on other animals. Maybe Zach would let him meet Bowie.

For now, he needed to hurry up and get ready before he was late to work.

Same morning routine, same drive to work, same flood of thoughts. Except now he was panicking over what he would do if he ran into Shane. Would he ask him about what Steven said? Would this affect their relationship? He wasn’t sure how to act, wasn’t sure what he was going to do. Everything should be normal between them, but with these new feelings, what really could be normal to him, anymore?

Ryan was lost in his thoughts as he wandered to his desk, attention focusing now on the box that sat there. Shane stood there, smiling, and Ryan felt his heart melt for a good few seconds.

“Hey, Ryan.”

“Huh-hi-hey, Shane, what’s this? New gift?”

“Yeah, more fan-stuff I think.”

“Sweet. I wonder what’s inside.” Ryan grabbed some scissors and his phone, and began to take pictures as he opened the box. The contents within were a few letters and some artwork, along with several bags of popcorn.

They thanked the person who had sent the gifts and Ryan signed onto his computer to make sure he clocked in for work.

A quiet snicker drew Ryan’s attention and he looked to the side to see Shane recording him on his phone and decided to reach out and stop the recording, mostly out of jokes. Shane waved his arm around and they got into a little bit of a fight as the timer ran down, and they ended up laughing together.

“So, heard you had another busy day ahead of you.”

“Huh? Oh, yeah. Yesterday was a long day of recording, and we’ve just gotten halfway through. We’re going somewhere downtown today. What about you?”

“Just writing up some new Ruining History episodes today.”

“Oh, yeah. I remember you mentioning you were bringing it back. I’m sure everyone’s going to love it.”

“They better.” Shane smiled and slipped on his headphones as Ryan got up to grab the camera equipment. “Oh, Ryan.”

“Huh?”

“You should bring some extra water today. Heard it was going to be extra warm this afternoon.”

“Thanks. I’ll be sure to check that in with Steven.”

Shane gave him an endearing smile and Ryan for a moment felt like he wanted to kiss his forehead before he left. He stood frozen for a good moment, like he was going to speak again, but Shane had already turned towards his computer screen.

He bit his tongue, shook his head, and left to meet Steven.

On his way, he ran into Zach, and remembered he wanted to test something out. He adjusted the back on his shoulder and tapped him on the back.

“Hey, hey, Zach.”

“Ryan! Hey, what’s up?”

“Are you free this weekend at all?”

“This weekend? Yeah, I’m not really doing anything. Why?”

“I wanted to know if I could come over and meet Bowie?”

“Oh! Sure! I’m sure he’d love to meet you. What about your pups? They wanna come along?”

“Um, sure? I guess, yeah. That’s fine.”

“Cool! Just text me what time you wanna come by and I’ll make sure the place is at least presentable.”

“Thanks.”

Ryan smiled as he left and marked the upcoming Saturday on his phone’s calendar before meeting Steven in one of the studio rooms.

“Hey, look who finally made it!”

“Sorry, we got a new fan-package and went to record it.”

“Yeah, I saw you got into a bit of a tousle, too, huh?” Steven elbowed him gently and Ryan rolled his eyes.

“It was just because he was dicking around.”

“Okay, okay, I believe you.”

“And he said to bring more water since it was going to be extra warm today.”

“Ohhh!” Steven snapped his fingers. “That’s what I forgot. Thanks for reminding me.”

As the day continued on, another busy round of filming had Ryan and the rest of the crew sweaty and tired. They wrapped up a little earlier this evening, and Ryan was more than happy to be back at the air-conditioned office. Andrew came by again, this time pulling Steven aside to talk in private, and Ryan went to pack away the cameras alone.

“Hey, welcome back, Ryan,” a familiar voice welcomed him, and Ryan swiveled his head to see Shane approaching him.

“Oh, Shane, hey.” He smiled and shut the storage room door. “How was your writing?”

“Super productive, and I already have an idea for the next episode I want to make after it.”

“Yeah?”

“Mhm, got it while doing research for this episode. I’m thinking...pirates, eh?”

Ryan laughed and walked with Shane to the kitchen so he could grab another swig of water before he could get home and drink from the comfort of his living room. He looked out the window on the other side of the near empty office, and caught the sun just above the horizon, then turned back to Shane.

“Pirates sounds super fun. You have anyone in mind?”

“Not yet, but I know I want someone super wild.”

“I mean, you are ruining history, so let’s spoil some more.”

“Oh, you make it sound bad. Don’t tell me you don’t get a few fun quips at me.”

“Okay, okay, maybe I do enjoy it because I can pick on you.” Ryan looked over his shoulder to see Steven and Andrew holding hands as they walked out together, and Shane followed his gaze. “Man, I didn’t know for so long. Did you?”

“Hm? Yeah. I noticed early on.”

“You did?! I didn’t even notice! Steven just told me yesterday after I saw Andrew kiss him.”

“Talk about oblivious.”

“No, I just- I’m busy and I don’t pay attention to these things!”

“Okay, sure Ryan, like your love-dar isn’t broken.”

“Did you just say love-dar?”

“Yeah. Why, bad name? Love-ner? Like love scanner? Or… loooove…hm…”

“No, no, I don’t need a love-whatever. I am quite fine just knowing my own interests and others when they feel comfortable enough to spread the news.”

“You like someone?”

“Ech, I mean, I don’t know, yet. Why, do you?”

“Yeah, I do.”

“You do?”

“I just said I did, didn’t I?” Shane raised an eyebrow at him, then laughed and elbowed his shoulder. “Why, you jealous?”

“What? Jealous? Of someone I don’t know? Sure, okay, me, jealous of someone that likes you, Shane. As if.”

Ryan’s cheeks began to burn as Shane laughed. They walked outside of the building together, and Shane pat Ryan’s shoulder.

“I’m teasing you, bud,” Shane said, smiling. “Just wanted to see how you would react. I don’t know if I quite like someone, yet, either. Just waiting to see what’ll happen.”

“Yeah…right, yeah. Of course you are-were-are.” Ryan cleared his throat, and caught the sound of something rustling from the bushes just beside the gate of the parking lot. “You hear that?”

“Uh...yeah, coming from there, right?” Shane looked in the direction of the movement, and Ryan held his breath for a moment before they both walked towards the noise.

A cat jumped out at them, and Ryan yelped, ordering a strong, “stop!” towards the cat, which landed just in front of them and stared up at him, pupils slitted and calm as it swished its tail around.

“Woah,” Shane breathed out, and looked between Ryan and the cat. “You know this cat?”

“No idea,” Ryan replied quietly, staring back down at it, and he thought his chest could catch fire any moment.

Suddenly, the cat hissed, and he felt his head go dizzy as everything seemed to tint, and he caught sight of something red flash across the cat’s face and it ran. He rubbed his eyes and looked around, everything back to normal, and Shane stood there staring at the spot where the cat was before he cleared his throat.

“Well, that was weird. I think I may just head home and watch a weird movie in tribute of today.”

“Yeah,” Ryan murmured, and looked up at his friend before pulling him into a hug. He didn’t know why he did it, but it was a sudden action, and immediately he thought his face would burn right off. Instead, he didn’t pull away, and Shane seemed to reciprocate, patting his back. “I, uh, sorry. I don’t know why- I just - I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“It’s okay,” Shane said with a quiet laugh. “I’m surprised, but I appreciate a good ol’ Bergara Bear Hug.”

“Oh no, you even gave it a name? You know I don’t like bears.”

“But you’re, like, a human version of Paddington. Bergara Bear Hug is official.”

“Noooo,” Ryan groaned, smiling, and pushed Shane back a little. “Anything but that.”

“Nope, it is branded now. The Bergara Bear Hug. It’s your secret attack.”

Ryan just laughed and headed towards his car as Shane went towards his. “Okay, fine. Now I need to find something for you, you shit.”

“Love you too, bud. See you.”

“Lo...yeah, see you!”

Ryan skipped a little in his step and hopped into his car, scrolling through his Spotify playlists to find some tunes to listen to while he drove home. He looked up as Shane’s car pulled out of the lot, and he waved goodbye, just as his vision went fuzzy again, and he could have sworn Shane winked at him with the brightest, red eyes, and a whisper of red cloud stream behind him. Ryan blinked, thinking he was just tired, trying to catch a look at Shane’s face again, but he had already turned down the road.

“What the fuck…”

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