i come to report that i have scoured the whole of the WHA Anime Official OST with the intent of making a playlist with only the best of bangers and i ended up just copy-pasting the entire album.
also not to be insane about this piece but i believe we should all remember and cherish this piece because it is a piece and a scene and an experience that must be remembered and cherished:
not to be dramatic or anything [is indeed being very dramatic rn], but I own so much to wha Qifrey. My heart, my sanity, my happiness, name it. I genuinely cannot recommend this manga enough. I cannot recommend loving this character enough
Huh, the ask game to "get inspired by my own writing" strat actually had some merit, would you look at that..
(fandom-related melancholic but hopefully hopeful, actually very hopeful, essay-rant below)
It's insane how little of a push a man needs to get back into writing, honestly. At this point I don't think it's a secret I don't have it in me to write for BSD anymore, and I'm just trying to veeery gently smother the flames of all expectations, no matter how sparse they may be. Like I'm terrified of breaking any random stranger's heart who may have at any point hoped for a continuation of any of my writing, be it the poems of the AUs or the self-indulgent explorations of canon. I do look fondly on those times, I always will, I just can't lie to myself that I can remain there. I know I’m by no means any kind of “famous” so I’m probably overthinking this wayyyy more than I should and it’s gonna be fine to move on. I’ve moved on long ago after all, I just can’t seem to tie up those few loose ends of my brain.
Half the reason I made my Witch Hat Atelier sideblog instead of straight up posting on main about the very one thing I hold so much love in my heart for now, was exactly because I was scared of scaring away my mutuals, but the more important half was that I just needed to psychologically nurture myself into turning on a fresh new page, no stress and no expectations and no ties to the past. If anyone is ever wondering if I’m alive and kicking, yes, very much so, I’m just kinda permanently @ribbons-and-tassels now.
I am very, very, fortunate to have found this manga exactly when I needed it most, and believe me, I am cradling it to my chest as the most precious thing. It is the one thing I dare call a home, because not only did it offer me a land of safety in those rowdy fandom waters - it also gave me a sanctuary for my real life, my whole family even. It saved me in more ways than I can mention.
Now what scared me the most is that despite my honestly overwhelming, but very much healthy, healing even, love for WHA, I’m somehow unable to magically get myself together and write for it. At least for now that is; I’m sure this is a temporary state while I sort my feelings together. I somehow foolishly assumed I could just transfer all my writing experience from one thing to another and have a quick start but oh that’s just not the case. I feel like a baby deer learning to walk again, but honestly it’s kinda refreshing to learn and build up those new characters from the ground up. I feel like I’m just retracing my steps - consuming a fuck ton of fanfics in record time, writing some bible-esque comments, whipping out some quick sketches to de-stress, starting a poem that’s gonna go nowhere, starting my obligatory cuddles-and-nightmares-and-watching-the-other-sleep fic with some excessively flowery language while I’m still trying to figure out the characters’ voices, connecting with music, somehow gracefully slipping into some wonderful and talented authors’ dm-s, yapping absolutely nonstop because I just need to get this love out of my system or I will simply explode.
All the fun stuff! And despite it all it’s still hard to write. And yet the support I’ve been getting from new friends and acquaintances and just generally feeling nice and homey in there is just so, so reassuring. Like I can make something that can touch people’s hearts again. Like I can finally stop lying to myself in desperate attempts of holding onto what once was a good thing, and just start again and be happy again. So I'm gonna do my best! Halfway there, halfway there.
I love seeing everyone who loves BSD in one way or another on here, passing by on my dash and reminding me of all the good things. I just love seeing people being happy and truthful with the things they love. So yea, I hope I’m not being tooo annoying with my new loves haha, they're not going away anytime soon, and it’s very tempting to share some pieces of where my heart actually resides in here too <3
Thank you if you’ve read so far for some reason, love ya, see ya from the other universe!
and now I seem to be stuck in a perpetual loop of having Qifrey whump fic ideas and wondering if I want them in the doomed husbands flavor or the shared-PTSD father-daughter flavor
