Discover Top Posts Tagged with #denovnce

ind . zach dempsey & sheri holland, of netflix’s thirteen reasons why, by kiki & liz .

#i. miscellaneous: / self promotion .#dual promo.#denovnce #hey : )

intimidation level : probs ? a solid 7 / 8 ??

this ?? is hilarious ?? bc i’m literally the most awkward little bean !!

#denovnce #↪ ᶠᵒʳ ᵒᶰᵉ ˢᵒ ʸᵒᵘᶰᵍ ᴵ ᶠᵉᵉˡ ˢᵒ ᵒˡᵈˑ (mun answers.)

‘ the weight of the world is pulling me down. ’

she knows what that feels like. she also knows what it feels like to be the one pulling it down on top of herself. because that’s what she always did ——- SHE HID, even when she had to sacrifice someone else to cover herself with.

it was a selfish tactic, one that always seemed to work. she was popular, she was on student council, and her opinion mattered to the people around her. she abused that power, used it as a WEAPON to protect herself from the inevitable hurt of high school. if the people around her only saw a feigned, calculated version of her, they would never see who she truly was. they would never have reason to make fun of her or laugh at her expense; they would never have reason to fade away from her. instead, she could keep everyone in her grasp. she could have power. she could be the person she dreamt herself to be rather than the person she truly was.

and that used to seem like such a terrifying thought, just to truly be herself. was she more scared of how everyone would react to her honesty, or was it herself that she was more afraid of facing? it was a trap, one she had built all on her own, that made her feel as if facing who she was wasn’t an option.

it was easier to spread lies about another than to tell the truth about herself, because when she had tried to do the latter, she only found herself hurt instead. hannah didn’t care for her the way she needed her to that night, but she faked it anyway —– and that kind of heartache was worse than if she had just let it go the night before. why did hannah have to kiss her back? why did she have to keep kissing her? if it wasn’t real, why did it go on? part of her may never stop resenting hannah for it, even if that feeling is only there to protect herself from facing what she had done herself. hannah may have hurt her through an attempt to PROTECT her, but courtney didn’t have to react the way she did. she knows that now, but she doesn’t know how to make up for it.

hannah’s gone. but she’s not the only person courtney had hurt through all of her attempts at keeping the truth hidden. seeing jessica in that courtroom is a constant reminder of just how CRUDE courtney had been, to throw her and everyone else under the bus just to insist that hannah’s voice on those tapes was full of lies.

the weight of the world didn’t have to be so heavy. perhaps courtney brought it all on herself. maybe she could have made things better for herself if she had been honest long ago, if she hadn’t waited for hannah to force her out once dead. that power she once gained, she’s trying to use it for GOOD now. her secrets are out, she is owning her truth, and if she can’t help others rather than tear them down now, she’s LYING about all the progress she has made.

❝ i feel like that somedays. ❞ and somedays it’s harder to overcome than others, but there’s a LIGHT to her days now. there’s hope. she doesn’t feel like she can’t breathe anymore, and that’s something. ❝ i think we ALL feel like that, especially with this trial, but —– ❞ eyes look to her, a soft smile tugging at the corner of her lips. ❝ maybe that’s because we never had any closure on any of this. and maybe this is our chance. we all need to find a way to move on, but —— it’s hard to find a place to start. ❞

but maybe sheri had already found a place to start. owning up to her truth, admitting to what she had done, being punished for it, it was something that courtney admired. but it was also something that terrified her, and for so long, she kept telling herself ‘ better her than me. ‘ she doesn’t feel that way anymore —– she knows that facing the truth will make them all better off. it’s gotten sheri so far already, it can do the same for everyone else.

❝ i never got to grieve hannah, you know. ❞ words are sudden, as if they’ve been held on the tip of her tongue for so long. ❝ i just —– i jumped right into hating her. to . . . blaming her, to looking for every way i could find to prove that she was wrong and that i should be believed over her, ❞ she admits, her shoulders shrugging, short hair shaking slightly. ❝ i think all of this is good for us. at least it is for ME. that weight you’re talking about, there’s a way to lift it off of you. for me, i just had to face my truth. for you —– ❞ a pause, head tilting to the side. ❝ whatever it is, i’m here to help. ❞ and it’s more genuine than it has ever been coming from her. she means it this time; it’s her chance to be a better person, a better friend —– and maybe that begins with sheri.

・． @denovnce.

#denovnce #* ANSWERED.#* ARC / S2.#i love 2 girls #q.

/anon // / uh ur sickening, ,,, LY sweet to the BOne

#denovnce #↪ ᶠᵒʳ ᵒᶰᵉ ˢᵒ ʸᵒᵘᶰᵍ ᴵ ᶠᵉᵉˡ ˢᵒ ᵒˡᵈˑ (mun answers.)