#depression progress

[fabletownhero]

usually when i stay at my parents’ house alone i feel really isolated and cut off and i start to get really introspective and negative, but i feel great tonight even though i have another two days before they return. i’m leaving for colorado next week with craig for a vacation, and i got to see my best friend yesterday AND today, and i only had one shift this weekend which meant i could put energy into reading, and working with Luna on potty training and other fun puppy things. i am just. good. i feel so optimistic about the future, having a dog i am responsible for has been a great thing, i love that little poop so friggen much even if she managed to break a lamp today. seeing how excited she gets when we get out the leash makes me want to be more active for her. i can’t help but focus on the ups right now. there are such wonderful people in my life and stuff is on the ups.... i don’t know how long this good spell will last, but i’m going to ride it for as long as i can.

[featheredvelociraptor]

I was getting very angry at my uni library site because it wouldn’t give me the resource I needed and I growl-roared (it’s a very precise noise that neither growl nor roar alone can convey) in frustration. Instead of giving up I googled what I needed and found a pdf of it and rejoiced!  I think this shows great improvement because in the past I would have just given up and cocooned myself away from responsibility and society for a few hours instead.

[a-happier-me--xoxo-blog1]

1/29/14

Okay so I finally typed out my weight loss goals more specifically and I added some rewards to try to help push myself. I also added some goals not having to do with weight numbers specifically. I want to start loving myself more.

 I started trying to lose weight a few weeks ago and I started running or exercising most days. I went down a few pounds and then up a few. But I'm feeling better. But it's still frustrating because I want the numbers to go down. I probably need to drink more water to be honest.

I feel sore after trying some new workouts the last couple of days, but it's a good sore.♥ Want to try some other new things too. I think yoga would be fun. I have a yoga mat somewhere.

Tomorrow I need to finish up application stuff for schools. Ugh. Boring stuff. I also need to study chem and bio some. Need to get back into school mode before school starts. I also need to try to work on art & getting back into that. So many things I want to do. Painting my room. Cleaning it would be a start. Art. School. Cleaning. Painting. So stressed.

I'm working on my depression too. I've been feeling super worthless and crappy lately but I think working out is helping. I've been trying to hang out with friends more too. I go through this thing where I go out and I dread being around anyone because I feel so crappy and terrible, but once I'm actually around people I just feel so much better and happier and I come home feeling better. Well depending on the people. But the people I've been hanging out with are amazing and kind and smart and I feel better after hanging out. Eating better and listening to music more and watching funny shows has been helping too.